How does seduction look differently when pursuing casual sex > dating & finding a gf?

MisterShogunate · 2021-09-10T07:23:55+00:00

I'm not sure since I've always started with casual sex with all the women I've dated. It requires aggressive flirting and rapid escalation from the beginning. No cheesy word exchanges and no talk of commitment. Just talk about random fun stuff and escalate when you can see that she is really turned on aka strike while the iron is hot.

MO_drps_knwldg · 2021-09-10T13:54:05+00:00

[permanently deleted]

thr0wawaydepress1on · 2021-09-10T14:35:52+00:00

Mods can you stop hiding comments?? Theres another reply here I can't see and its because you either his it or removed it

TheTruth221 · 2021-09-10T06:44:37+00:00

more forward less waiting

recyclablebanthas · 2021-09-11T17:10:17+00:00

1

What do you do differently if hook ups and flings are more what you wanna pursue? I know inner game comes into play here as well....

In terms of inner game: Intention has a way of coming out in our actions and words. So it's important that whichever one you want, you are absolutely honest with yourself about what you really want.

Can be very easy to end up thinking one wants one thing when they actually want another. If things end up confused, the confusion can leak into one's words and actions, leading to mixed signals being sent to the other person.

2

but what changes in terms of outer game and how/where you're approaching woman IRL?

There are absolutely differences between pursuing one versus the other. It is possible to start off with casual and convert to a relationship or vice versa. But there can be complications:

A.) If someone starts off casual and tries to convert to something serious, it's not uncommon to end up scaring off someone who was only in it for a fling.

Meeting someone's standards for casual sex a different matter than meeting their standards for relationship.
Trying to start off casual and go serious can unfortunately also unintentionally attract dysfunctional people who are trying to change their SO.

B.) If someone starts off serious and tries to go casual, unless the other person is really emotionally mature, this will end poorly. People who are coping with the loss of a serious relationship are often trying to hold on to the relationship and offering such a person casual sex will make them think they can earn their way back in. Things will go poorly when they realize this isn't the case.

4

Differences between pursuing one versus the other:

If someone's after something casual, it's generally better to bring the eagle in for landing early on. Like within the first three dates at least, if not in the first meeting, depending on how you've met. (As long as she's up for it, she will go along with a faster timeline and help make it happen.)
If someone is after a relationship, the timeline can be a little more forgiving: physical escalation can be drawn out over longer period of time as long as the emotional connection is being developed.

5

Overall, the key is communication. Whichever one you want, you have to broach that subject. At some point soon after things have escalated to sex, you have to have a casual talk about what you want if you're after something casual.

James Marshall covered this subject in a video about multiple relationship dynamics. He goes over the basics of how to have, "the talk" with someone about this.

Don't make a big deal out of it.
Don't do it in public.
Don't tell her how she feels.
Do say if you're having a good time being around her.
Just say you're not available for anything serious but that you'd like to see her, it just can't be all the time.
Don't reserve a specific day in the week for her.

Title	How does seduction look differently when pursuing casual sex > dating & finding a gf?
Author	thr0wawaydepress1on
Upvotes	3
Comments	9
Date	September 10, 2021 5:18 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/pleoya/how_does_seduction_look_differently_when_pursuing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-does-seduction-look-differently-when-pursuing.1276399 https://theredarchive.com/post/1276399

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