I still have the hangover, so now is as good a time as any to write the report.

I went out to dinner last night for a friend's birthday. After dinner, we headed to the usual bar for a beer pong tournament. The organizer was late, so I jammed in the park for a bit with a konbini beer. When I went back in, shit was rolling. I got my team on the list, and chatted with the cute bartender for awhile about how there were, literally, no girls.

Lo and behold, a stunning 3-set walks in (8.5, 9.5, 7).

BARTENDER: So, when are you gonna hit that? ME: In a moment. I have a wingwoman mission for you. BARTENDER: No, I'm terrible at winging! ME: This is simple. I'm going to order a drink. I want you to bring it to me, whisper something in my ear, laugh, and go. It doesn't matter what you say. BARTENDER: Got it.

I go to the bathroom, and when I get out several girl friends come in, including a FWB. I greet them all with European cheek kisses.

I sit down with the 3-set. "I have a very important question for you." 7 and 9.5 don't speak English, so they direct me to 8.5, who speaks very well. I tease them about the language barrier and milk the tension, before finally leveling with 8.5.

"ROCK PAPER SCISSORS!"

I lose, but it doesn't matter. They're all giggling and I'm in. I get their names, and introduce myself as Doraemon. I make a couple Japanese puns off of their names, which they love. At this point, Bartender performs flawlessly--the whisper, the laugh, the drink. It probably wasn't necessary, but they thought I was cool as hell at that point. My team is up for beer pong. I pretend to forget 9.5's name and call her Dorami-chan, which she agrees to.

After the game, I sit back with the 3-set and bring my friend. Affable American from my first FR happens to teach 8.5 English, so he's there as well. The conversation flows, though I'm pretty dominant at this point and should have done a better job weaving my buddy in. The birthday boy from our dinner earlier drops by, and I get the girls to sing "Happy Birthday" to him. 8.5 steps out for a second, so I ask 9.5 and 7 what they do for a living. It takes some effort, but they're able to translate "shufu" into "housewife". I ask them how the pay is, and they say it's a secret. When 8.5 got back, I took her left hand and checked. No rings, good.

I'm neither a great nor terrible person, and if you read my last FR you know that if we're both into it, the existence of a boyfriend won't stop me. But I am NOT a homewrecker, period, end of story.

It was time for my next game, so buddy and I had them wish us luck and got down to pong. Afterwards, I waited in line for the bathroom with 9.5. I told her I had a lot of fun talking with her and her friends, and that she was really cute, but that I'm a guy who respects the ring and that there are other fish in the sea. She said I was a good guy, and that her unmarried friend had a boyfriend as well, but that they all thought I was really cool. MISTAKE TIME: I should have got their numbers for future hangouts, possibly with other, single friends of theirs. Hot girls keep hot company, and they were genuinely very fun to hang with. I didn't get their digits, and I blame alcohol.

I find FWB and tell her to meet me outside for a second. She's part of a very delicate social situation involving my #1 girl, and I wanted to iron things out. She gets where I'm coming from, and likes that I respect her choices the way I'd like her to respect mine. I even chide her for not getting laid on a date last weekend, but she says it was the dude's fault for not carrying a condom. DUDES, ALWAYS CARRY CONDOMS. We make out a bit, and I take her up to the roof. I have a condom. She can't believe we're doing this, it's crazy, it's awesome, etc. Having sex in an alley definitely got me bolder.

We go back down, and the night rumbles along. I open a 2-set of slightly bitchy/aloof girls who like my style, but later just get mobbed by dudes, making it not worth my time. I chat with the 3-set. I play pong. I drink too much. I drink more. A long-time acquaintance 7.5 whom I've had my eye on for awhile gives me a good luck kiss on the cheek, and I convert that into another one on the lips later. FWB goes home. Time starts to spin and skip. 7.5 is getting too drunk, and I have another female friend look after her. Things are winding down. Buddy and I take a cab back to his place. When the cab stops, I shoot out and immediately desecrate the road with what remains of the birthday dinner.

~FIN~

WHAT I LEARNED

1) Even though the 3-set was smoking hot, I didn't get intimidated and just sat down with them anyway. I built up intrigue and excitement from the get-go, and the goal I kept in mind was "entertain yourself". If they were single, I'm sure it would have been different. I definitely should have gotten 9.5's number, just to hang out with them in the future. Having girl friends is awesome too!

2) Stop drinking so much. I knew I'd be playing beer pong throughout the night, so I really should have toned down my drinking. It's nice to be gregarious and free-spirited, but it's also nice to have some measure of focus and self control, and past a certain point alcohol robs you of those. If I hadn't drank too much, I probably would have remembered to get those girls' numbers. I would have done better with long time acquaintance 7.5 at the end of the night. I would have done better with the 2-set. Focus is one of the most important things you need on a night out.

I have a couple trips coming up, which should be instructive and entertaining. Peace out!