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Sea-tease Archive

View 5 posts and 572 comments by Sea-tease on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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8

My guess is that 90-95% of my fears could be related to fear of loneliness if broken down completely. This is good to recognize. I can relate. Athough its good to STFU with others, sometimes we need to talk to ourselves more than listen. This was a large part of my rp journey. However we were also both very concerned about the toxic emotional environment we have created, and which none of is wants for our daughter to grow up in the middle of. So basically, without anger or threats, we both knew …
/r/MarriedRedPill01/08/23 01:03 PM
5

I have bouts of not caring as much about her and being unafraid of her anger, but that has to extend to situations like this where it can escalate quickly if I'm not fast in deciphering what's going on. 'Deciphering what's going on.' Part of that decipering is realizing this whole shitshow interaction has nothing to do with disrespect, covert contracts about a nap, or enforcing boundaries. It ultimately is your frameless bullshit and her response to it. It's not sex, even though it's been a few …
/r/MarriedRedPill27/06/23 12:24 PM
2

My Mission? I will be the leader of my family as a strong male presence and role model of a good man to my girls. Think this through. Whose frame is this in? How could you rewrite this? On Sunday, I said “why don’t we head upstairs.” She pretended not to/did not hear me and initially I went upstairs. I got ready for bed and then came downstairs and sat next to her. I said, “I’m going to be more direct, I would like to go upstairs with you and then I would like to make out.” She looked at me and …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/06/23 11:58 AM
2

I’ve definitely got a little bit of a chip on my shoulder professionally. Good answer to the ego check. I do too and its fun. Ex 1: Guy does all the work, wife recognizes it, sees that it will persist, tries to keep up but can’t, main event happens and she capitulates / submits, he then provides safety / security that she needs to open up and be feminine, provide the value she can, and support him. (Makes sense) Ex 2: Guy does all the work, wife recognizes it, sees that it will persist, begrudgi…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/06/23 10:39 AM
2

You have clearly done the work here and it shows in a lot of ways. Someting is missing with you though. Like you are trying to prove some thing to someone with the "fuck you" money thing and the social proof. Not that those are wrong things, but as external validators they may be a sign of interior weakness. This thing with your wife... I dont know. I know KTB told you to 'alpha the fuck up' and you ate it up. Well, this is what 'alpha the fuck up' looks like in the long run. Ive told you a few …
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/23 11:03 AM
1

...at the end of our conversation, "And this is where even if our worldviews are different, the work is the same. Becoming a HVM, congruent to you."
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/22 04:52 PM
3

You have three years of OYS's and comments. Read 'em for the next two months. Oh, wait. You want a shortcut...
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/22 11:34 PM
5

This... My wife's a good PERSON, but she's NOT wife material. Never was, never will be. I never should have married her and this... but I'm afraid to go Rambo and nuke something that could have been saved and improved. make no sense. This post was for men 'doing the work' and the option of time for clarity. Men have a strong ability to bullshit themselves. The fact that 'you're afraid' says a lot about where you are in your work - or what work you're doing.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/12/22 03:40 PM
2

Man, u/killingtheblue and u/BostonBrakeJob added some very good notes here. I started really doing the work in Spring of 2019. I'll admit, I was an excruciating pussy when I arrived. That being said, I experienced all of this. It was not until early 2022 before everything was on the table with desire and enthusiasm (and that still fluctuates some). There were stops and starts along the way, but at the least DTF/S, whenever-however. Some may not be that patient. u/hornsofapathy 's "Your Woman is …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/22 03:49 PM
5

You sound fun. made me too paranoid about hypergamy, I don't trust any females. Whatever you think of females or your female, she reflects you and responds to you. First I'm thinking your frame /confidence... after having kids we're down to 1 time a week. Any reason for this from your end? This week I was checking texts on my wifes phone, I've been pissed off ever since. I have no fucking clue if that's the alpha move or not. I'll probably call him later today and tell him to back the fuck up. w…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/22 12:55 PM
3

If you really want to see my friend's Biblically ordered household, you are welcome to join us. I don't quite understand it myself, and find it difficult to describe, but it's obviously working. I am an odd one here, in that I am Christian. I was curious as the typical 'biblically ordered household' is centered around the wife's happiness and the man being a better beta. You may find value in u/rpchristians if you haven't heard of it. I think they have moved mostly to discord, u/rocknrollchuck i…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/12/22 03:30 PM
2

There were tears, forgiveness, more prayers, and love. Wife slipped me the tongue afterwards. Be careful of the covert contract you have here. If you want to pray and assert Christian values, do it because you want to pray and Christian values. Whether or not she slips you the tongue is irrelevant. It's one thing to notice but putting stock in it will move you out of your frame and into hers very quickly. I have also been observing a Christian friend of mine, and paying special attention to the …
/r/MarriedRedPill07/12/22 01:14 PM
5

What did I learn? I can state what I want and not get butthurt about the complaints. Watch actions (compliance and cuddly) not words and eye rolls. Great report. This really gets at the point of my whole post. Get rid of the fucking fear and do what you want and have fun - just like you did, and watch what happens. It gives her something to respond to. Now stay out of her head and keep it up while you do the other important things in your life. You asked me how I did it, I didn't respond, then y…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/12/22 12:59 PM
5

Top 10% earner You've added this every week. What's the point? Qualifying yourself? Ego? "It was a goal of mine to reach a certain income and I have acheived it." Relevant. "Top 10% earner." Irrelevant.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/22 04:35 PM
1

Pain is a signal. It might force one person to pull their hand away from the source of the pain, and it might make others push through and into it. Most of the best things that have worked out for me have required a long time horizon, not a quick reactive one. But you owe yourself clarity and to not bullshit yourself. These are very, very good notes to add to this.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/22 04:11 PM
6

Would love to read your FR on creating that sex life in the absence of enthusiasm from her. Maybe another day. How did you grow your DNGAF to the point of enjoying yourself? I liked u/Blarg_Risen 's reply but I did not enjoy myself to IDGAF. I did grow to IDGAF. It is what it is. Yea, you have more work. You also quit OYSing. That made all the difference...
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/22 01:00 AM
3

You and who knows how many that have come through here while I've been around. As fas as u/SBIII 's post - anger, ego and what you want. If you don't know what you want in the long run, give it time and drive what you want with your woman. If you really don't care - go have fun, it's your life. It's all trading notes. After I got over the anger, I quit complaining and drove what I wanted. She came around but it took awhile. FOR ME, I'm happy I was patient until the anger and ego were gone. You? …
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/22 12:27 AM
2

The cuddles are for aftercare and to praise good work in bed. I am suprised that she never initiate cuddles after sex, most girls do. Cuddles are required sure. Who says most girls initiate cuddles? I initiate the majority of those with my woman. I don't even think about it. You're still in her head - not in your own frame with lines like this. Maybe it is but it's what I want. I wanted sex for validation before I broke the cycle. Sex, fetish clubs, whatever - its not the point. I can get on boa…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/11/22 09:38 PM
4

For 25 OYSs in do you see where your mental models suck? Easy to not care about sex when your getting it You are 'getting it.' The prize doesn't 'get.' I make sure to offer cuddles after sex and girlfriend seems to enjoy that but never initiates it herself. Covert contract. Nothing authentic from your end. Then expecting her to initiate? Good sex is your responsibility. This BDSM club thing with you... Your girl... Enthusiasm is still on the lower side Your friends... Had a birthday party. A lot…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/11/22 02:56 PM
2

Although as Christians, we disagree on many things, I enjoyed reading this. Cheers
/r/RPChristians27/11/22 04:03 PM
1

I need to come up with a game plan on exactly how to lead her to lose the weight without overly stating she needs to lose weight. You do know that the best game plan is right in front of you...right?
/r/MarriedRedPill18/11/22 12:02 PM
2

I am the prize and I try to frame it like "I'll reward you with sex later if you are a good girl" but it is not genuine yet. Will work on it though. Acta non verba more than words. Be the prize. When congruency is there some words are ok. Maybe that's what you meant, but action is paramount over talking.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/11/22 04:24 PM
4

Will provide some kind of reward after each night of him waking in his own bed to encourage his positive behavior. No reward needed. I have four kids. They came in, I picked them up and took them back. "Love you buddy but it's important to sleep in your own bed." Broken record, genuine nice card, hard boundary. No issue. Ever. I do not understand your point, please elaborate. Who's the prize?
/r/MarriedRedPill17/11/22 01:14 PM
2

Everything in your oys is external. You're taking some action and doing some cool, non boring stuff. That's good, but it reads like a big cc. Like you are expecting outcomes in early everything. Do you climb because you like to? Get with friends because you like to? Gym because you invest in you and you like that? You have no reading list here. Part of the work that helps you build frame is reading and working on mental models and your own interior work. OI, CCs, IDGAF, Validation/affirmation se…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/11/22 01:10 PM
5

I don't have time to read) Welcome to the rest of your life. Enjoy
/r/MarriedRedPill17/11/22 12:45 PM
2

The main focus is 4yo still coming to our bed in the middle of the night. How does this play out? How do you handle it? I am now getting sex Fan favorite mental model...
/r/MarriedRedPill17/11/22 12:38 PM
3

I haven't really put much thought into whether I will go ahead with either (or both) of these opportunities or not because I'd just viewed it as (relatively) innocent fun up to this point. This looks to me like your ego is telling you how awesome you've become but actual confidence and congruence haven't really caught up yet. I don't believe you haven't put much thought into it or it wouldn't be in here. Down below, u/Blarg_Risen said, take cheating out of it. Do you trust yourself to make choic…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/11/22 12:06 PM
5

Trying to get back into OYS, after a year’s break (albeit kept working on red pill stuff) I like 'red pill stuff'... you mean stuff like... Lifting Just started working out again after a long break, Or boundaries Very busy outside work/family assisting the creation of a drop-in centre for teens, as well asacting as treasurer for another charity. Feel a little overwhelmed. Or gaming the most responsible teenager want to move beyond STFU to handling the emotional drama in a positive way but still …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/11/22 12:16 PM
2

I'm a simple man and have found a lot of peace by simplifying my life while keeping it fun and interesting. Reading this made me tired. How can you simplify your life? Take some time this weekend to really think about what I want and define a mission Frame - as above - realising more and more how non existent this is / has been. Iron Rule of Tomassi #1 Frame is everything. Always be aware of the subconscious balance of whose frame in which you are operating. Always control the Frame, but resist …
/r/MarriedRedPill05/11/22 01:07 PM
1

I told her: "You don't have to be on board. I will do this my way and do not get into my way". I see 3KL 9'd you. Horns is right on to STFU on the yard and you can STFU on things like this too. An amused smile would work fine here...
/r/MarriedRedPill01/11/22 11:32 PM
1

I wear shoes instead of thongs (flip flops) everywhere except the beach. I now dress like an adult who has his shit together. ...you can still pull off style in Rainbows though.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/10/22 11:46 AM
3

I read this twice and good Lord. Half of this is useless even for your own reference. That being said, two things... informed wife I’d do this once and once only since it’s my fault in the first place for letting it happen. I will accept and pay her debt down, then we kill the cards. Threats are useless. Kill the cards. 2yr old sleeps in our bed, just creates small logistical issues. Absolutely 100% no. Take the lead on this whether she likes it or not. A bed is for sex and sleeping. Mission Her…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/10/22 08:31 PM
2

Not close.... probably due to a few factors. MRP guys are often here because our personalities don't lend themselves to getting what we want MRP guys hide some of our true nature online for fear of dox Well u/Blarg_Risen I am 1-1 but due to this little gem from our OP... Not sure what 'personalities don't lend themselves to getting what we want' means but if you are saying what I think you are saying, it's a flawed model...
/r/MarriedRedPill25/10/22 12:47 PM
1

Not quite nailed the Meyers Briggs. I love that shit though. How close was I on the ESTP shot? I love that stuff too. It doesn't trump rp truths but does play a role in how they play out.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/10/22 06:14 PM
3

I recommend you don’t use the church as buffer because if you do, you will also use it as an excuse. I am very curious what u/failbowl99 will do with this sage line. I've seen him come in every week without a stated - even short term mission/vision. It's still his wife evidenced by 'The plan.' Notice he said 'church,' not faith. That's an important distinction, failbowl. You most likely have learned some very unhelpful teaching that, if you don't heed wookie's line, you will not get very far.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/22 12:21 PM
1

My best shot is ESTP - If that's what you are asking. I wager that many drivers overlap between styles.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/10/22 11:34 PM
2

That's the state of current churchianity. Men are responsible to sacrifice to the end. Women get a pass. It's ingrained. I'm Christian and ran stay plan/go plan just fine...
/r/MarriedRedPill18/10/22 11:10 PM
3

Good. Blarg beat me to that section. A 'really strong willed kid' is code for a weak parent. Respectful kids aren't born, they're created. A reflection. Sound familiar? Who else in your house doesn't respect you? Kids all need the same thing: Time, attention, praise and boundaries from a man they respect. How many of those are not present? You have a lot of work to do. Whether you do it or not...
/r/MarriedRedPill18/10/22 08:32 PM
3

u/arthurfuckingred - does this answer your question?
/r/MarriedRedPill18/10/22 08:02 PM
2

You can offer your children the opportunity to be spoken to like an adult. But physical violence from them clearly demonstrates that they are children. I am curious if u/arthurfuckingred will keep doing the interior work. For him to do what you suggested here would take at least six months of his own personal work. His children demonstrating that they are children is a reflection of him - still a child.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/10/22 03:17 PM
2

I struggled with blaming ASD for my wife's prudeness, but have found for a Christian wife, there is a different language of game that opens rather than shuts down sexual play. I need to OYS/FR on this soon. This has me very curious and am looking forward to this entry. You already know my view on 'I need to.' I'm thinking you meant to type 'I'm going to.'
/r/MarriedRedPill14/10/22 12:10 PM
1

I walked in and my wife was SCREAMING at my daughter (6). This line says more about you than your entire OYS.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/10/22 11:59 AM
2

FYI. I never wanted to see that guy again and scrubbed my OYSs. Sometimes I regret it. Mostly I don't. I am a different man, faith intact (although very different than it used to look) same wife (faith intact), drastically different dynamics. I know it looks like me dangling a covert contract in front of you but I'm not. I gave her first shot. Feel free to use me as a resource to trade notes.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/10/22 09:38 PM
3

First thing I see is that you OYS'd July 12, Aug 16 and now. Your lifts are good but it will help to be more consistent than this. Have fun sex with an enthusiastic partner Your wife or a plate? This evangelical piece... If you asked me a few months ago why I was so deeply unhappy, I would have told you that I made a mistake when I was young and naive and married an asexual wife (I didnt know any better because we were both devout christian virgins and I bought the fairy tale), and now I have bu…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/10/22 06:22 PM
2

Again this is just something else I have to do until it is part of my DNA. ...you mean 'want' to do The excuses before sex and LMR are all still there and pushing through them really suck at times. Going to porn to avoid these is the easy weak way out though. Initiate more and be ok with rejection is my goal here. Measure success by not being butthurt when rejected. Trading notes. I am not a fan of the sex moratorium but when I was in your spot I was so focused on building back the best me possi…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/10/22 07:35 PM
4

I went home and held her till she calmed down. The rest of the day was great after that. I'm not taking the time to pick this talk fest apart. You're whole mission and focus is your wife, not you.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/10/22 12:42 PM
5

Like I said, MRP helped me a lot over the past year. I have not implemented the stages of dread. I initially though it was a bit much for an LTR, but I’m beginning to understand it is practical and likely healthy for an LTR. It's not a bit much. Just implement more dread. Make sure it's overt too. This is what everyone at MRP does. This retarded post belongs on u/askmrp.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/10/22 01:59 PM
3

I am curious though - what made you think this? Personal experience and time I've spent here reading and learning. The things she says concerning sex are excuses to not want sex. You are on OYS four, and have really only fucked around to #4. When I OYS'd (one year with nearly no missing) it wasn't until I was 6 or 7 months in of sustained work that I saw noticeable headway in excuses like this. I think the going thought is a month of work for every year you've been married. Apart from - 'Be Attr…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/09/22 09:01 AM
2

I know they are shit tests.. but in the moment, I do get in my head and overthink things (negative thoughts or thinking - maybe she is right). I am getting better at just STFU and pushing through. It is my validation tendencies that think - She has to be 'into it' for the sex to be good.. Am I missing anything here or is this par for the course? I don't think this is a shit test. Self accountability is obviously not working. OYS is self accountability. It's just that you get the opportunity of f…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/09/22 06:36 PM
2

I am lazy and taking the easy way out instead of embracing the temporary pain of rejection and using that as fuel to work harder on areas that I lack. So, make a plan? What actionable steps can you take to 'embrace the temporary pain and use it as fuel?
/r/MarriedRedPill28/09/22 01:54 AM
3

Wife 40. Why is this here? Sex. I am able to initiate and go for the type of sex I want most of the time. Porn. Stay away for a few days and then go chasing that sweet dopamine hit. Help me understand this. If you are successful on invitations and creating the sex life you want, as much as you want, why porn? The sex must suck or not be as plentiful as you say. (I am a pussy and fear rejection) So there is rejection? Porn and jacking off went out the window when sex - amount and variety was no l…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/09/22 05:12 PM
2

I went to another figure drawing class last Friday. The class takes about 2 hours and there are 10 or so people there. Is this a drawing class? I looked at your history but can't tell what it is. Best is to just go for what you want through physical action, and by doing this repeatedly you will learn how hard or soft to be in the escalation. A lot of words to say 'Acta non verba.' But I still like what you said. Words do not work before action. Once action has done its work, words can be fun...
/r/MarriedRedPill27/09/22 11:42 AM
5

I know I'm using a lot of "she" language, 31 if I counted correctly. Could be more. but I'm trying to convey the situation adequately. Why? It was a long story you could sum up in a couple sentences. I held frame. From u/SBIII "Frame is not something you do, or slip in and out of. It's who you are, the core of your being." Owning your shit is not about using lingo to impress. Also I need to clarify my MAP a bit and take more leadership financially. I'm re-doing our budget and looking for a part-…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/09/22 05:46 PM
1

He was OYSing when I was. I'm not sure I ever commented on his entries but man they were a welcome relief during my anger phase...
/r/MarriedRedPill14/09/22 04:18 PM
3

Ahh. 00pi. "The best of OYS... "
/r/MarriedRedPill13/09/22 11:16 PM
1

Really hope you don't stop OYSing. I am curious to see how this plays out over many months. Here is how I read this... You believe that trust is not possible in a monogamous relationship. So with that in mind, you will stay in this relationship without boundaries or expectations because that is reality. I want to improve the quality of my sex life. ...with a woman who has most likely cheated on you and you are OK with this happening in the future because this is reality. No need to reply to this…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/09/22 10:58 PM
5

Raising toddlers is very triggering for me because of my childhood. I didn't have my basic emotional needs met as a child, so I get stressed by the neediness of my kids. One of the cures for this goes beyond recognizing this in your childhood. Knowing your needs/wants as an adult and owning that you are responsible for them, then having them met will take care of much of this. This is why frame/abundance is so powerful. When you actually have what you need, little can rattle you. Now, raising ki…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/09/22 01:03 PM
1

So this being a sub primarily about sexual strategy, what is your vision for your relational life or does it matter to you? I get the kids piece, you've been clear on what you want. Is your desire to salvage this relationship, open up the marriage, be celibate until the kids are gone, cheat? Or are you just more content being a dad? I can't figure this part out...
/r/MarriedRedPill09/09/22 11:54 AM
1

not being triggered by rejection and overall being more chill. OK. Right on. But exploring myself in this arena isn't a bad thing in and of itself. I've never said that it's a bad thing. I came in obsessed with D/s and exploration. That distracted me from progressing - in the beginning. I think it was u/Tyred_Biggums (name changes lose me here sometimes) who took me to task on that two years ago. I saw how it was impeding my progress and from there I got to work on my real shortcomings - for a s…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/09/22 12:13 PM
3

Yes. For our OP, at 13 weeks in you are more than correct. For u/Reasonable_Leather45 who asks this question, would possibly be better served to gain some sort of footing in the big 3. Committing to the process forces fear to the surface.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/08/22 06:13 PM
3

Easy. Read and internalize the entire sidebar, keep lifting, OYS more than what you have done, which is 3 times this year. If you are committed, without ego, you will make a lot of headway in six months to a year. There are no shortcuts.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/08/22 11:52 AM
3

And this is one of the reasons I like OYS. It can bring your bs to the surface. Tone doesn't come through interwebs well but it sure seems you're defensive as fuck with 'internet retards' which is a lack of frame. Talking is not the problem, lack of frame is the problem. You said it, not me.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/08/22 07:32 PM
8

For someone who has been around so long it seems you are amiss on some fundamentals. This entry is a mess. So I did what I do with employees, now: laid out my vision Aka: talk. we had a highly emotional/rollercoaster-ish talk about it. More talk with our couple's therapist, and rehashed that conversation in a calmer, less reactive environment. and even more talking. She thinks she's "working hard on the relationship" and "meeting my needs" by fucking 1.5x a week. To her, that's putting in work. …
/r/MarriedRedPill30/08/22 04:31 PM
6

But overall, I can see how all this other stuff (self improvement + sex) is taking a lot of my focus away from this. Only because you are allowing it to. Your OYS is better but it still sucks. Since you are not talking about sex (which you still did), all you have is a meal plan, a fallen through event and fear about your work (and processing emptions.) The point isn't having a 'good' oys, I mean it shows you're walking in circles and your weakness. At least you started walking though. I don't t…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/08/22 12:52 PM
1

OK. I'm following you. I have several thoughts on this, but first - You said in your OYS "I'm starting to feel things are slowing down so I think I need to be more intentional." What is slowing down? Her texting or you taking your foot off of the gas? I'm unclear. What do you mean by be more intentional? As in, what are you looking for here?
/r/MarriedRedPill26/08/22 04:49 PM
2

In OYS 1 I wrote Tentatively: to get my life in order. u/sea-tease challenged me to be more specific about my mission. Truth be told I told you that "get my life in order" is too vague. Mission can come later. The BMI is specific. That's good. Tidy flat is good. Truly master my trade. I think there is a covert contract in that one: "I will be respected if I am competent." On the other side I always enjoyed having and gaining competence. Noticing a potential cc is good and many times that's enoug…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/08/22 12:17 AM
3

How are you defining options? Other women to go to? The way I see it, I have two options... stay or go. I have three boys and they honestly bring more joy in my life than many other things so I'm tracking with you. As for your wife, texting other men and hiding would be a no go. Sure, she is always free to do what she wants but some choices have consequences. I was picking up fear of 'rocking the boat.' There are options in that that men fear to execute and stay in a sort of prison. Prison is wo…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/08/22 11:54 AM
1

You know. I never read rm religion. Rollo was interesting in this space as he was always on Dalrocks site sharing info and commenting. He is hard for me to read but rm was what I needed. Gonna give this a read. I'd like to see you update an oys.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/08/22 11:28 AM
1

Ah, a young pup. You are a bit more astute than I was when I came around a couple years ago. I was a deeply blue pilled Christian at 50 and I needed the raw too. RPC didn't do it. Too much arguing over theology. I have learned an immense amount here and still active, still Christian. The church can give terrible life and relationship advice but you are early enough that you may avoid the anger phase, not sure yet. I am certain you have read much of the now inactive Dalrock site? Welcome to OYS. …
/r/MarriedRedPill23/08/22 11:48 PM
1

I should mention I'm a Christian. I know I should post in RPChristian, but I like the dialogue here and don't mind swapping notes with dudes who may differ from me. This doesn't matter and 'should' is life in others frames. You can learn to decide/discern what works for you and what doesn't. Many if not most Christian men are very weak minded. You don't have to be one. Play the nice card with your wife. My main goals for this first month are to put myself first and STFU Not sure how old you are …
/r/MarriedRedPill23/08/22 06:51 PM
1

Confidence Idk what it was, but it feels like something clicked for me a bit over the last week or so. It's been more than a week. It's been a few and shows in your oys's. Good work.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/08/22 06:23 PM
6

Oh boy... Right now my plan is to stay in this relationship at least until my youngest turns 18. Why? Fear. In order to make that work, I have to accept a lot of things about this situation and my wife, which I struggle with sometimes. Do you? You really think you have no control here? Fear. I can leave at any moment if I want, but Im choosing to stay here because this is what I want. Bullshit. 100% bullshit. This is nothing but a scarcity mentality, 0 options and... Fear. The main thing I strug…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/08/22 04:31 PM
1

I don't know yet, but it's a good question I will ponder. I could give you a shortcut but I won't. This is why you're here. Yes, I think you're right. Why do I want to become a better leader? I mean it's cool and all, but really to get more/better sex. There's your start. Do you see the fat fucking covert contract there? If you keep doing this, I challenge you to OYS the next 5 weeks with no sex section and no mention of it, because it is your validation.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/08/22 12:09 PM
2

Be a better leader in my job and relationship. This is externally motivated about how others might view you. How do you become a 'better leader?' You are sex obsessed with sex. This whole OYS is about it. got a BJ. Fan favorite. 'She' or sex is the prize, not you. I'm currently interested in (sexuality & psychedelics). Ah. There it is. This is your real mission right now at oys #2. May want to explore that as you make your way through the sidebar, which you will do, right? If you think I'm moral…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/08/22 11:58 AM
2

I am learning to STFU. A big help in this: No gym yet Go to the gym. You are deeeeeep in your wife's frame. Your whole frame section is about her. Frame is about you. I can sense a lot of anger in your words. As far as your mission, getting your life in order is too vague. It's a good start in figuring out what you want but be more specific - for you, not everyone here. List that in oys 2 if you are serious.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/08/22 03:41 AM
1

Did you read NMMNG in one week? You reported one thing for you, not two.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/08/22 12:31 PM
2

Despite getting what I thought I wanted - I am unsatisfied. Why? Maybe thats the point, not only do covert contracts not work but even when they do you feel like a loser for having them. There's a million 'points' along this journey. You're on the road to living from your MPO and using cc's to get what you want is a weak and ineffective m.o. I don't know about feeling like a loser, sure I guess but more than that, it doesn't work half the time. It's also why you'll hear she is irrelevant. It's m…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/08/22 12:25 PM
2

This is such a good write up for a newbie. It would serve you well u/RPturtle to print this and post it on your desk or somewhere to constantly reference. Remington went soft on the lifting though. Don't waste your time on dumbells, invest in yourself, get a membership and get out of the house.
/r/askMRP18/08/22 12:05 PM
10

You missed that he also meditated...
/r/MarriedRedPill15/08/22 01:37 PM
3

Soon realised I was a fucking validation seeking machine with a million covert contracts. Now you are just a validation seeking boy with 500,000 covert contracts. Examples: I have had glimpses of MRP stuff working but overall I am not consistently succeeding here. I will not beg, plead or ask for more of what I want. If I am not getting it, its my fault and I need to work, calibrate and fix. I comforted her. Nothing about my needs after a long week of work. Despite these small success I still ge…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/08/22 11:23 AM
4

I'll expand a bit further on u/Fun-Amphibian-9309 input. He's right on frame and you're not there, which is ok, it's a process but needs to be your sole focus. If I do someone a favor and they don’t appreciate/complain, then I will not do the same favor next time This is a cc concoction. Do what you want without an expectation of return. If it's congruent to what you want, do it. Looking for reactions is not in your frame. If my wife embarrasses me in public/in front of colleagues in an event I …
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/22 04:00 PM
1

Yea, being less of a bitch, less entitlement. Brooding sucks to be around. People want to be around fun, positive, energetic, interesting people. My mantra for now is “good vibes”. Just be congruent. If that is you, great. If it's a facade of 'I'm fun, positive, so everyone will like me and all this will work out" but it's actual bullshit - and when the shit hits the fan again and you turn back into the bitch you were before. Well... Hopefully thats not the case. If not, good progress since your…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/08/22 02:16 AM
1

I seem to get the best results when I'm just having fun and being playful Enjoying my kids and have used it to tease her a little. Finally playing the nice card. Looks like you are being much less of a bitch than when you showed up. Good lifts. Is she joining in the lifting/diet/exercise yet? What do I want? Exhilaration. Challenge. Discovery. Where and how do you want this?
/r/MarriedRedPill07/08/22 05:34 PM
1

Do share. You don't OYS, so...
/r/MarriedRedPill04/08/22 05:15 PM
4

So now what? More beginner porn here. Life without good sex is not optimal. Good sex though, is easy and isn't much of a mission. So now what? The hard part. Figuring out what it is that you want. Then the harder part, action and going after it. Then the easy part. Enjoying. Or you can go the path of existentialism and naval gazing. That seems popular too.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/08/22 05:04 PM
5

How much Male Parental Investment behavior is optimal for your happiness you can just figure out by trial and error. Just make sure it's for the pleasure of doing it, not duty plow horse shit. I like the way you worded this. So many times whether you realize it or not, you come across like kids are not worth the effort, live for you and fuck it. My relationships with my four bring a ton of value - and not the 'honor, plowhorse, duty shit" kind you worded. If you want a rich relationship, you mos…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/08/22 12:08 PM
3

This is the funniest piece of truth I've seen here concerning Chritianity. Have my update on this comment.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/07/22 02:33 PM
1

Amen to that. My motto
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/22 11:44 PM
2

A mutually enjoyable sex life is most likely possible when a woman is the one getting validated. It seems 'mutually enjoyable sex life' has become one of those phrases here. Horns is right on she's still the prize through neediness and behaviors and to figure that out u/Along-the-Reeds When you use the term 'Mutually enjoyable sex,' it's in her frame. Mutually enjoyable sex really only happened when I stopped caring about it - and didn't need the validation. I became much more attractive and dro…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/06/22 10:48 AM
1

Do you have basics in mind or you are saying I should focus on one thing at a time? I listed them. Work on the best version of you. Your version of you. You do that by... Physical - lifting and diet. Read and internalize all sidebar material. OYS weekly. (I also read others oys's and comments each week. It was a bit much but helped me.) Taking action on that list is a six month mission in itself. No more naval gazing. If you do this without shortcuts you will begin to gain some clarity of yourse…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/22 12:22 PM
1

I want to have more clarity on my mission. This is stunting you, causes too much naval gazing and unfocused action. You are all over the place.. To focus, make your mission simple - work on the best version of you. Increase lifts to X, read all sidebar material, OYS, take action on blind spots and integrate into your spiritual life. Here's the proof on your lack of focus... should revisit) would like to revisit Will plan to soon) I haven’t been I want to I hope to I need to make time Haven’t bee…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/06/22 02:41 PM
5

52 yr old shows up to try and you immediately punch him. You're heartless 3. Will he take the lump and try again or disappear for not getting a hug?
/r/MarriedRedPill16/06/22 12:57 PM
2

Wife/she/her count - 39. You have seven paragraphs dedicated to your wife while your mission states you are focusing on you, your fitness and frame. What is your real vision and mission, short and long term and how are you advancing that? Not the platitude version. Your wife is not your mission - well, actually, she is at the moment. 3KL will probably rule 9 you so you'll have time to think on that.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/06/22 03:12 PM
6

I continue to ask myself the following prompts a few times each week: “What’s left when I die” and “then what?” Trading notes: I believe we live two sides of a coin. All of us have physical (human) needs and spiritual needs. They overlap a little but my physical needs do not meet my spiritual needs and vice versa. I live a life of faith, which strangely, MRP tools have reshaped and refined it. It shapes the overall vision of my life. May want to explore your own path to a larger purpose. Just li…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/06/22 10:34 AM
1

Congrats. I'm actually 53. I do not know where else to get inspiration. I am not a writer but if I were to write a blog or book, it would be centered around this topic. My life isn't perfect with them but it is genuine and full of fun and respect. My 20 year old is lucky to get rp truths even though he goes to church. He'll tell me the stupidity he hears while still holding to the truths of faith that matter. I feel for these poor boys in church anymore, as Praex pointed out. Good that you are e…
/r/RPChristians10/06/22 07:51 PM
13

I've read this book. It has good points but like nearly every Christian book, it largely misses foundational advice for young men - becoming an attractive, congruent HVM. This post touches one of my biggest passions so I'll give a couple thoughts... Obviously the first step is to make yourself a good example, and model No. This can become a projection of 'should' incongruent to your own frame. (I wrote a post on MRP called 'Should, Shouldn't and What do you want? - check that out). I don't model…
/r/RPChristians10/06/22 12:56 PM
2

I full well know the CC style of servant leadership. although I also expect my enjoyment of my marriage and sex will naturally improve as a by-product of better fitness and frame. Watch for this typical CC as well. Maybe it will, maybe it won't. You gave the 'right' answers, I'm just not so sure I'm convinced. Can't put a finger on it. Too cerebral. You'll be interesting to watch if you commit.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/06/22 10:50 PM
1

***Readings: All, most multiple times. I did what is not recommended here at MRP and had a long conversation with my wife last week. Sigh
/r/MarriedRedPill08/06/22 08:43 PM
2

Maybe someone else can watch it and still be able to function normally. I know I cannot and so I should stay away Who cares about others. It's about you. Goal is to continue with this and not get complacent. ...regardless of how she responds, right? Porn really is poison and blunts your ability to do what you did this week. Keep that up. In church circles I'll hear, 'I'm struggling with porn and don't know how to quit for good." I'll shoot back, 'become a man, fuck your wife.' Gets their attenti…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/06/22 03:35 PM
3

Mission. I will transition from a service leadership lifestyle focused on others to an attractive leadership lifestyle focused on myself. Translated: Instead of focusing on others through service, I'll focus on others by trying to be attractive. There's no real transition here, only a different method of the same thing. 'Leadership.' In any event, I'm less than a month from having fulltime daycare and therefore back to work. Is this what you want? Someone raising your kids? I've been abstaining …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/06/22 12:15 PM
1

Tomorrow is OYS day and we've given u/ibelieveican1982 a bit to think about and to do. Let's see what he does with it...
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/22 01:29 PM
3

Leaving the debate of right and wrong, sin or not which is somewhat tiresome. It's the why behind it. (As DS somewhat touched on). If you start on a journey as becoming a HVM and a spiritually mature man, congruence is a must. At least moving in that direction, as none of us are always perfect. You are drawing the conclusion that you do not want pornography and masturbation in your life. OK. How congruent is that line of thought while at the same time you post what would be considered as pornogr…
/r/RPChristians03/06/22 12:05 PM
2

it's your job as their father to provide them a role model and a mentor. you gotta ask yourself -- are you being a leader, mentor, and a role model? I don't like this train of thought. It's in the frame of 'should.' This is nuanced but this mode of thinking puts you in adopting another frame. I have three boys. I AM (have become) a congruent me. I am NOT a role model. I AM me. No trying to model, lead, project or mentor. I am and I do. In that congruence and space they are drawn to me. They look…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/22 06:09 PM
2

5’9 192 lbs 28% BF Still fat. Haven’t been as strict on counting calories these last two weeks. C'mon man. You're comparing yourself to the worst to feel better. Weak. You're taking good action in some areas but this one needs to be at the top of your list. I wanted her to wear some nicer clothes to bed. So I started buying her pajamas, etc. that I wanted her to wear. Probably only a 50% covert contract. I was tired of her old pjs…but It crossed my mind…”if I buy her comfortable/nice pajamas she…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/06/22 05:27 PM
4

Flair it
/r/MarriedRedPill31/05/22 07:32 PM
6

I don't respect who I am right now. I want to fix that. I want to have more confidence and not be so fearful of judgement/new experiences/just doing things I want to do. I want to stop my addictive behaviors - they just make me feel shitty in the long run and it is not the behavior of someone who I would respect. I want to look better and be healthier. I want to have a fulfilling sex life. There's your list. Thank you for your comments and making me think. Thinking is fine but that alone won't g…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/05/22 06:14 PM
4

I’m more of the opinion people use porn because they enjoy it more than sex. I don’t think it has to be more complicated than that. Maybe. The other reason is fear of rejection. Rejection of sex or fear of rejection of who you are for what you would really like. A substitute for lack of frame. Which is it, u/ibelieveican1982
/r/MarriedRedPill31/05/22 02:45 PM
6

Porn and Masturbation. I am a porn addict. I have been caught up in this since 12 yrs old. A focus on mission is the best path out of this. You have made progress on assessing things that are not serving you well but the follow through is lacking - because a vision is lacking. When you are tempted to go to porn, go to your mission. When I was where you were my mission was simple. Work on being a better version of the me I wanted and do things to figure that out. Lift (and expend energy - surf, r…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/05/22 11:54 AM
1

In terms of parenting, I’ve been getting better at maintaining my composure and coaching my kids. I’m not quite there yet, but I no longer feel like I’m faking it and instead it is slowly becoming simply who I am. Do you have a vision for this area of life? A longer term vision for what you would like to cultivate with your kids? I have more work to do here, and I realize the work is truly never done, but I can see that I’m moving in the right direction. Curious as to what more work you have to …
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/22 03:58 PM
1

You're making it too easy for him...
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/22 01:13 PM
6

We definitely struggle with the leadership role because I haven’t been that guy consistently. I could use some input here. "We" don't. "You" do. Let's look at a couple things: Body Fat: Lots, haven’t measured it. Will get it done once I research the best way. Weak. I'll make the research easy. Figure out your maintenance calories and reduce them by x amount. You won't do this because you lack discipline. How do I know? Will get it done I’m working to This week, I get back I had one too Will work…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/22 01:03 PM
5

Starting to realize that ironically growing up in a church and religious family may have contributed to some unhealthy subconcious patterns. Man. This was probably the hardest part of my RP journey. I realized that A LOT of church teachings contributed to unhealthy patterns and nearly destroyed my marriage. I kind of lost my s*** and fumed spiritually for a long time - feeling lied to. Specifically "Selflessness and sacrifice for others is the mark and path to holiness and fulfillment." It isn't…
/r/RPChristians21/05/22 12:41 PM
1

I've been on 5x5 since January not missing a workout, now my lifts are 'intermediate' according to strength standards but I'm still a fat fuck. Navy method says I'm at 15 percent body fat but my mirror says it's more like 20 percent. At least you're honest on the fat. If you are looking for a bit of feedback, post stats. Age, height, weight, lifts and sidebar reading. My ltr basically openly stated that I will fail. Told her to get ready to be surprised. "You'll fail." "Will not." "Will too." "N…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/05/22 11:02 AM
1

I'm just still stuck on the pointlessness of prayer. For results or simple connection? Once I quit praying for results, what I wanted, removed spiritual covert contracts and simply approached it as father/son communication, prayer became much more meaningful to me. Good OYS.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/05/22 12:02 PM
1

This place is about trading notes. As 3KL often says 'doing things is better than not doing things.' You're doing things. I have observed over time, when a change is implemented by a man of value, through action, there is rarely a need for 'sign on.' You've opted differently. OK. Worse case, you learn. There is no failure, just learning.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/22 02:45 PM
1

You're getting a lesson in leadership from me, rag and u/fix-the-man, u/arm_candy. This is a gift. Drop the ego and ook at your last week's oys comments and this week. What do you see?
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/22 12:07 PM
1

But I want her sign-on. What if you don't get it? What will you do? I'm intentionally giving her time to read this so she and I can be on the same page. I am... so that... What is this called? Either she'll be ready or not. And you will...?
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/22 12:16 AM
1

I told my wife I want to start “1-2-3 Magic”. I’m giving her some time to read it and we’ll implement soon. I want us on the same page if possible. Try this. "I read and began implementing 123 Magic." Acta non verba. Up to her to be on the same page. You don't need her sign on or permission. Good you worked on the button pushing. That's a step toward your own frame.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/04/22 03:39 PM
4

I told her at which point I’ll discuss with the wife Maybe the words were fine but the tone was off don’t recall exactly what I said the words that really should have come out of my mouth were “I want to have sex”. Now I need to find a way to bring the honesty without it being some intense serious statement. There is so much talking going on here. STFU. Acta non Verba. You do not have the frame to back up this much verbal intercourse. Everything in this oys is in others frame. The kids, your wif…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/22 12:00 PM
4

You’re right. It was a dumb question. There is no short cut — it’s on me. There you go. OYS 7. It's the answer to wanting to possibly have an affair and the answer to all of the other questions you posed. My prompt to enlist your fo is a good one, but it's only a piece of the bigger picture. Why don’t I like the answer? Because I’m angry about having been misled for so long. I was too. Burned with it. But the flip side - be happy you found the truth. So many never do. You did. Do something with …
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/22 02:43 AM
2

How can I be my own ultimate judge and truly independent, when Christianity and Catholicism demand my obedience to a God being my ultimate judge? Is your allegiance to Christianity, Catholicism or God? There's a big difference. Those two continue to beat obedience and that you are a helpless sinner in constant need and that you can't be your own judge. But the law is gone, so, without being judged by law, obedience means what?
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/22 02:40 PM
1

I read your OYS and did not catch this first time. Looks like you edited it and added it. Good stuff. That's all. It'll be interesting to watch this play out...
/r/MarriedRedPill11/04/22 09:39 PM
1

Got an unexpected twist while on my last flight. Wife sent me a picture of her wearing the collar I spelled out in the contract. Said she agrees with the terms. Caught this btw...
/r/MarriedRedPill10/04/22 03:30 PM
1

...I got it because I'm used to what you write. Just spelled it out for the 'newly minted retard' as I was once one. This was a great post. I meet with a couple guys irl and will use this as a reference.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/04/22 11:42 AM
11

If you do this with the hope that it'll have the same effect on your sex life as it did mine, you're done. Covert contracts are never successful. You either decide to do things that you want to do with your time, or you don't. It is common that attraction goes up when you build a separate life, interests and your own frame. FROM THAT POINT, it's easy to make the decision to have a fulfilling sex life and drive it. I get your point here, but it does look like "Get busy doing other things, your se…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/22 02:13 PM
2

Jinkies. Not using stupid words like this is a good first goal. My thoughts are, if I continue to make myself emotionally and sexually available then people who vibe with my self will be attracted to that. If I...then. Perfect example of a covert contract for those reading along. I'm motivated to understand more and I pray that my higher power gives permission to that process to happen. ...and if your higher power doesn't? Why don't you do half of what you listed, come back and report that. You …
/r/MarriedRedPill02/04/22 11:42 AM
2

Now that the dust settled from this yesterday u/dunlop60, this here is really the crux of all this the root is always the same: it's something we do for a woman Early in my journey, I was all hot and bothered about a D/s too - still am too - The submission aspect, the total giving to me...the erotic of all of it. I don't know, 3 or 4 months in, I had my own contract written up and I was OYSing about it too. I was told at the time by MITW and I think tyred that I was shortcutting and at the stage…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/03/22 12:19 PM
1

...in other words, keep doing the work.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/22 05:39 PM
1

projecting calmness It's OK if you are faking it to make it. But, atually being calm is the goal. Not projecting calm. Are you an oak or trying to project an oak? In other words, kids and women don't rattle me, I don't ACT like they don't. When the time came to discuss the D/s contract, I didn't make much headway. She doesn't seem very interested right now and I'd rather not keep harassing her and creating pressure around it, I don't necessarily need a formal contract to do what I'm trying to do…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/22 04:56 PM
5

The next step I want to take My hope is Therefore I hope to feel I want to I also need to I am going to I have felt better. Hope has returned I feel like I should I may experiment I feel this OYS is short? What in the actual hell did I just read? Did your wife write this? I Feel... hope, should, need to, want to... I want the bonds that come from working closely with other men, when you are together, shoulder to shoulder, chasing opportunity and reward. You're in LA LA land. Sex zero. Not surpri…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/03/22 12:15 PM
1

I've been really focusing on myself and my MAP. Girl/she/her count: 11.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/03/22 06:05 PM
1

Technically she strokes the check / venmo (from a joint account I fund). Is it serving you to have paid help? What would happen if you removed it? We have 4. My wife stays at home. No help. She knows her value in all that she does to keep it together. Just a question. Do I play nice / invite her along? Frankly, no. Good insight. Now we're getting somewhere. Listen, this is a no judgement zone. You want an affair? Your call. It's just possible that somewhere in there, what you are looking for has…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/03/22 06:42 PM
1

I write the checks. Sole breadwinner. I know that. That wasn't my question. Enlist…I need to delegate some things to her. How much do you have to delegate if you have 60 hrs. of help? Is that help providing the value you want? Does it remove opportunity for her to add value to you? Do you play the "nice card" and invite her along in your life? Something just seems to be missing in this OYS and your response. Don't think the full picture is here...
/r/MarriedRedPill19/03/22 05:40 PM
2

We've always had mismatched libidos (and willingness to try new things), and my libido (and SMV) has only risen as I've gotten in better shape over the last ~6-7 months (probably the best shape I've been in since college). Men and women typically have mismatched lididos. One of the other: she is not attracted to you or you are not an attractive man taking responsibility for the sexual relationship. We also have ~60 hours / week of help (almost entirely during the week / while i'm working) Who wr…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/03/22 10:05 PM
1

Not how I wanted it to come about in that it would be more fun and hotter sex if it was more about mutual desire. But being realistic, her energy and commitment to meeting needs will only go so far and for so long. This was my red pill moment. Rollo Tomassi iron rule #6. "Women are fundamentally incapable of loving a man the way that a man expects to be loved by a woman." It's your job to create it.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/22 04:04 PM
1

I’m owning that I am a man that needs more than his marriage or family can provide to be happy. Much more. 100% of men that "made it" here figured out their family was never their mission. Some egos are more dense than others, so don't be so fucking heartbroken. This is the real way of men. You're just shedding the last bits of the bluepill narrative. I agree with u/ryaninthesky123 on this. And your assessment as well but they they are also not mutually exclusive. They can be but aren't always. …
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/22 12:08 PM
2

TBH, the thought of an affair (no one specifically in mind) and/or divorce has been on my mind a bit recently and I start thinking about how it might work logistically Why? However, I'm pretty sure I actually want my marriage to work, so I'm going to focus my efforts there and give the marriage its best shot. Why?
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/22 11:47 AM
1

Have you spent any time writing out what you want to pass down? I wrote mine out completely, the things that are important TO ME that I want to pass down. A lot of it was what we learn here and the rest what I believe is important spiritually. That was a great start for me, because like you, I had the religious baggage I did NOT want passed down to them. From there I could have light conversations and I had done so much work from here that they were congruent with my actions. That has been very,…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/22 09:00 PM
1

At that age kids pick up WAY more through action than words. Hate to say it but true. Less words when they are that young are best. Modeling what you want to teach them through action with few words that back it up is optimal. Conversations/words became more effective after 12ish and above but words still need congruent actions. My guess is you don't even know what you want to teach them because outsourcing is easy and you don't have to think.. Keep working on being less of a fuck up...
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/22 07:59 PM
1

God as Father/Ruler' frame rather than 'God as boyfriend/spouse'. Good framework. Current churchianity/Christianity is gross. Still no appetite for other spiritual engagement. I had none for nearly three years - did very little. He showed back up in His time. Good OYS after the beating you took from me and Ragnar. I'm grateful to see her wanting to meet my needs and for fewer sleepless nights, but it is not how I wanted it to come about. Curious here.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/22 03:42 PM
1

I’m realizing I’ve been outsourcing morality for my kids in some extent to my religious organization and I don’t want to do this anymore. For those with kids, does anyone do some non religious but more formal instruction for their kids ? You just said 'young kids.' What are the general ages? All under 10?? 12??
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/22 12:05 PM
1

u/bwaltermitty - I thought the same this as SB. That phase kinda sucked because the cause and effect started to show up. Easy to fall into the CC trap again. Recognize it for what it is and keep your foot on the gas. Good sex (and much of your life in general) is your responsibility. Not CCs of 'look what's happening now that I'm doing xyz.'
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/22 11:59 AM
9

There were a couple of days - a big work-day and getting car serviced - where I expected some testing and was surprised when it didn't happen. Why are you wondering about her reactions? Where is your mindset? My lack of direction got her testing straight away with emotional tirades about changing plans and being indecisive. It demonstrated straight away the importance of maintaining control and leadership. What is the importance? To end testing and emotional tirades. On Monday, when my back pain…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/22 10:13 AM
1

The indoctrination stems from extrapolating clear direction from our authority to encompass all or most aspects of our lives. If I understand you,, clear direction (guidance) is freeing, it is for me. Do or do not. The burdensome extrapolation is from being told that a good follower should not want a b or c, and should be doing x y and z. You get it. This is not clear direction but a "burdensome extrapolation." Where I allowed much of my life to be derailed, and I suspect many others. My faith i…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/22 09:16 AM
2

and I do have a bit of fear of going to far. Why? Explain in detail. I do not know if I should be leading us to a point where we can be more open, or if I should continue down the domination aspect. You're killing me here. This is exactly why I wrote that post. 'Should' based on what? And do you see the CC in your sentence? What do you want and what is in your control? Take the time and tell me.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/22 12:15 PM
1

Your post history goes back to four years ago and includes AskTrp. You've posted as far back as ten months ago on MRP. You have more information at your disposal for that long and that is your question? Defend Excuse Explain Rationalize. You tell me...
/r/MarriedRedPill11/03/22 12:51 PM
1

It can tell you with a high degree of confidence what the likely outcome of your actions are, based on the experience of many man before you. So it’s not a “You should”, it’s an “if then”… here are the likely consequences of your actions; It's funny. When you believe the blue pill disneyworld, it's hard to accept the reality of what you said even though it's true. Ya gotta get over the hump.. I couldn't imagine, at first, not lighting myself on fire to keep everyone around me warm. Same with ped…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/03/22 12:52 PM
2

There you go. As you know, words can betray you here. The grandfather and airplane stuff was cool to read...
/r/MarriedRedPill08/03/22 09:53 PM
1

Yea. Certainly the action. That's a good word. When the words are congruent, the actions are there but good point.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/03/22 07:39 PM
2

The lack of emotion when she says 'In fact i am just a hole for you now, isn't it?' is what sounds strange to me. If it would be attached to some crying I would think she does not feel respected, ... or if laughing , I would think she is just playing with sexual games. But no emotion. I do not know what to think. You're in her head. Dunlop is on track here, hard to tell if it's comfort testing or not attracted. Doesn't really matter, answer is the same.. Go read my reply to u/fix-the-man on his …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/03/22 07:05 PM
1

I wouldn't think so but YOU said it... "Even if I don't take it full formalized D/s, I'll still have a better and more specific idea of what I CAN push and what kinks I CAN bring out and play with." Even if I don't draw up a contract, it's useful information to have as I lead in the bedroom. Is it? Useful for your imagination or useful to get a 'safe' idea of what she tells you she likes. You're coming along great, but this all looks like asking permission...
/r/MarriedRedPill08/03/22 06:50 PM
1

I'll still have a better and more specific idea of what boundaries I can push and what kinks I can bring out and play with. Wait. Why do you need this checklist? I'm tracking with you as a pre curser to a contract, but you know you don't need this to know what boundaries you can and can't push pre contract. This looks like asking permission and you are far enough along to not fall into that trap.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/03/22 06:04 PM
6

You asked... "That suggests that at some point your wife went from not feeling valued by you to the opposite. How did you show your wife you valued her?" I like to keep things simple but it took a lot,, so I'll try... First, I focused on the basics. I lifted, dropped body fat, started dressing and smelling better. I also got out of the house and rebuilt my social life - a little distance. I also dramatically increased my income. I quit initiating much during this time because I internalized the …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/03/22 04:54 PM
4

• Shit tests: I am getting a recurrent shit test associated to sex in which my wife says a variation of “I am just a hole for you now” or “you just need a hole” or “you do not mind if it is me or another girl, as long as there is a hole”. She does not seem worried or angry, just plain statement. I handle it with some AA, (“I like your holes” or “sorry, … who are you?”) but I wonder what is this about. You've lost 10 lbs in a year. 25% bf at OYS 30? Why is that? Those statements are not shit test…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/03/22 01:05 PM
5

what should I do according to the sidebar", which is still a way to operate in someone else's frame. ...For awhile,, until the you see that the sidebar/OYS helps direct you to becoming your judge of your actions. Then it's not in someone else's frame.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/03/22 06:15 PM
1

Different strokes and all that.... I suspect that men that come though here that have fairly strong religious backgrounds will find value in this a bit more because of how strongly the indoctrination is to be a certain way. I fall into that categary and had to unwind a lot of it. I saw you removed your, "I shouldn't have read this." Don't go soft on me.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/03/22 03:53 PM
7

Or “should and shouldn’t” can also stem from a clear goal of what you want. In that sense, should and shouldn’t actually further defines what you want. ...a clear goal of what you want. Your frame = good. Early on, nice guy tendencies are often too strong to have that clear goal. I'm on board with your thought but it's next level. Kind of like STFU works...until you can express yourself like a man. It then serves you much less.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/03/22 12:54 PM
3

Yep. At least for me - it was from others frames and how I thought others might think of me. I had to move it to mine IF I WANTED TO. "I will," "I did..." All mental framework.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/03/22 12:15 PM
2

I think that's what vulnerability really is. It's not just not being afraid to "show emotion" or whatever...it's literally just not being afraid to show yourself. MITW: ...with OI, without neediness, not seeking validation or comfort. In subordination to his honor, values, reason, goals and mission, and only in accordance with his desires, values and mission.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/22 05:39 PM
2

Have realised I'm not sure what I want the fucking to look like, so how can I lead there? Read this week's u/The_Red_Letters OYS and comments.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/03/22 12:18 PM
2

I understand. I'd put it on your radar though - without going Rambo. Kids in the bed is, well. No.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/22 11:38 PM
2

Of course not. I'm saying my wife knows my stance. Precedence set. Forward think, how can you draw this boundary?
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/22 10:04 PM
3

I had an incident where our oldest was sleeping in our bed after I got home from running an errand. Never ever. My bed is for sleeping and sex. Not kids.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/22 08:56 PM
2

Even more interesting was his comment that “You’re still thinking too much without taking off the training wheels”. I plagiarized. This line was stolen from u/threekindsoflucky. I liked it that much
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/22 02:59 PM
2

I like this. If you never attempt, you'll never paint anything. And you can always get more paper. Yes. Exactly. Helped some in my pre RP life but beyond helpful now. I'll start just about anything without much fear of failure.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/22 08:31 PM
2

When it was my turn to share with the group, I wanted to share something authentic, as making something up or completely hiding isn't me at all, But we can learn that victim puking does not have to be 'you.' STFU. But that happened, then... So I confirmed to her that my friend is a better fit for me to work these things out STFU is your friend. Feminine grows by praise, wilts in criticism. and my disappointment in our sex life leaves me feeling disconnected and focusing on other interests. Good …
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/22 07:05 PM
2

I should not have had sex with the babysitter but I had a moment of weakness I had sex with the babysitter. I will accept the consequences now that she is pregnant. ...caught this 'best part of OYS.' Lol...
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/22 03:49 PM
6

Pruned the hell out of it. In art school one of the exercises we did constantly was getting over "fear of white." The white canvas or paper, staring at you at the start just beckoning you to fail. Your ego can protect a white canvas but ruining that canvas was a different story. The more I ruined them, the more I realized it was ok. not because they are enemies or obstacles, but because that's the environment I've created for myself. Its also just who they are. Kids need the same thing as women.…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/22 01:06 PM
2

I regret to say, somewhat still my dancing monkey. That monkey is not dead yet. I knew that. It reeked of a covert contract. 'I need to come home and work on my house, I need to come home with energy...' I can feel the 'so that...' behind it. But there is also a voice in my head, saying .. just start the work, my mental and mindset evolving can come out later.” This can be true with sustained consistency and a good mindset. It's the why behind it. Whether it's to get something or because it's wh…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/22 09:58 PM
5

I just need to come home and work on my house and family like I do at my job. I need to come home with energy and be the captain at home, the father of the house. Why? And lastly … my wife hoped in the shower with me last night … the first time in a long time. Maybe random? Or maybe things are changing? You are looking, and taking validation from from her for your 'work.' Keep doing what you're doing and six months from now you won't write a paragraph like this. Your lifts... are those numbers r…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/22 01:58 PM
5

I like your list... should I have nearly eliminated this word from my vocabulary.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/02/22 04:07 PM
2

I decided to speak some truth, saying that the book helped me identify what I'd been wrestling with, that I'd placed too much expectation on romantic satisfaction in my Spiritual life and in our marriage. I don't know man. This just not seem like the setting to go into this kind of stuff. I wrestled like hell with the spiritual side too but I wrestled it out here, with a couple faith type guys here and with a couple men IRL. NOT with her and certainly not in a group with her. When the questions …
/r/MarriedRedPill22/02/22 01:09 PM
1

but I do believe you predicted I’d quit after OYS 1 Looked back to see and you're right. I did say 1. I’ll detail my plan and goals in next week’s OYS. This is a good plan and include what you DID this week. FWIW, when I started it took me about 6 OYSs or so to get my gym membership because two guys were relentless assholes to me, God bless em. I did lift consistently, which after about 4 to 6 weeks when some definition started to show, I got on my diet. It's a natural progression if you care. I…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/02/22 12:33 PM
1

Started reading Sex God Method, tried asking directing things verbally during sex with no real results. I can see that I need to direct things physically too. Asking and directing? Not sure what that means. Try leading. I see that I have started three books and not finished any of them. I will schedule more dedicated time to read and put into action what I read in the coming week. Will you? I need to better understand myself. I don't think so. Lifting consistently, reading, posting and action ov…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/02/22 05:46 PM
1

See above to see what I have done (not done) with this valuable information. Pattern is consistent: commit, fail, re-commit, commit, fail, re-commit… This is where weekly OYS is so valuable. It forces you to be accountable to yourself. I remember challenging you that wouldn't stick to OYS. Guess what... What is your four or six month realistic ideal in terms of weight/lifts? Post that every week and what you did to reach that. I like that this was your focus on this OYS and nothing else because …
/r/MarriedRedPill18/02/22 05:36 PM
6

Damn you u/ragnar_Daneskjold. You started this.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/22 11:11 PM
7

When I wrote my first OYS seven months ago, I had been lurking and taking action for about a year, intensifying my effort in the last couple of those months. That effort has increased since I started posting OYSs, even though I don't post OYSs every week. And in all that time and work you learned to DEER perfectly. You may want to revist what u/SBIII and u/thanatosau responded. Your OYS was painful to read. Sounded like a little boy who didn't get what he wanted so he tried to negotiate it by be…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/22 01:04 PM
4

this is way harder to do than you think, It is but it isn't. It's really about consistently doing the work, day in, day out, week in week out. At some point, you gain enough personal traction and frame that phrases like "she is irrelevant" and "most responsible teenager in the house" finally click. u/Along-The-Reeds, your week was better than you think.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/22 01:35 AM
16

I was fucking livid. I had not felt like that in a long time. I had to leave the house. I had to walk around the block in a validation seeking fury. FWIW, it took me about two years to build the frame to pull things like this off or be unfazed by a rejection. my inner game is still weak. Mmm hmmm. So, on the slut training, it was a shit week, Not true. A shit week is thinking but doing nothing. Doing something gives you feedback to assess. You did something.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/02/22 02:00 PM
1

We get along better now, but sex is still rare and occasional. And to be honest, I am at a point now where I don't even care that much. Not sure I believe this, but ok... At this point, divorce doesn't sound too bad. Why? still wish to maintain and restore my marriage, If possible. Why? Also, I need to be more playful and flirty, be cheerful and optimistic, give her random hugs and kisses, all the stuff I used to do before our relationship got stale. I need to work on that, and then see if it wo…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/22 07:57 PM
3

Thanks for this. Yes I lift and have hit the 1000 lbs in the big 3 but found that it isn't sustainable when grinding other parts of my life. OK, cool. I think this forum overindexes on lifting to become attractive to women rather then understanding personal reasons to maintain fitness. If you read between the lines here, you'll see this isn't true. It is the baseline of establishing discipline that bleeds into other areas of weaknesses that need work. I'm 53, 5'7, 163-no bodybuilder. I lift now …
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/22 01:34 PM
1

I'm not a strength coach or lifting guru. I'm fairly small too, BUT, I refuse to miss lift days. Three days, 0 misses. If I travel, I do something, but DO NOT DEVIATE from your program regardless of plateaus. When you get bored with it or you're not seeing results, research and change it up. I've hit long, long stupid ass plateaus at low weights and just kept at it. I Still am really. Its good for the ego and good to experience failure - and subsequent success when you break through. There is no…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/22 01:13 PM
2

Fitness: Goal 185 lbs, did not change weight last month and often drank twice a week. Coming up to a 4 day trip and need to workout at the hotel, avoid alcohol, and avoid large meals. I need to figure out how to deal with stress eating. All this starts in the gym. That part is vague in your goals. You posted no lifts. Are you lifting, where and what program? Last month I got on the water twice to surf Keep surfing. Unless you are where I live, then quit. I hope that OYS will be a point of the we…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/22 12:52 PM
1

I want this year to be a year of building muscle. To do that my top priority needs to be consistency in my lifting and my nutrition. You've progressed very little in six months. You should be seeing large newbie gains with these numbers. You said you were consistent for two weeks. Good, but how many days are you going and what routine are you doing?
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/22 08:49 PM
4

Good report. Enjoy some external validation. It's been fun reading you lean straight into fear. There's a world out there for the taking... It all seemed so complicated and scary at first and now is so simple. ...oh, that Barracuda post...
/r/MarriedRedPill03/02/22 09:13 PM
1

You have about 222 words about her and about 63 about you.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/22 12:04 PM
1

Last week you had a realization of how far up your wife's ass you are. ...you still are
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/22 03:03 AM
1

In the old way, the prize is to be loved despite your flaws and with a promise that you don't have to work for love... In fact if you do, it isn't love at all. Agape, perhaps, but mainly you anticipate living from a frame of gratitude that someone (God, or your woman) graces you with a love you don't deserve. This economy is so fundamental to Christian pedagogy, that of course it permeates our expectations of marriage. Yes. Isn't it interesting that this idealized expectation you outlined is not…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/01/22 03:04 PM
2

It's not the beach that's gay. It's the words. Acta non verba. Good on the gym.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/01/22 02:04 AM
2

This anger list is very good. Normal to experience them, especially at this stage of life. Let's break these down... Angry that life, love, and sex don't work like I was told they do. Worse than that, angry they don't work the way I want them to. Many never leave the anger stage. You don't have to be that guy. Now that you know the rules of the game, use them to your advantage. The old rules that didn't work suck anyway, and they're based in validation and fear. What is there to be angry about b…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/22 05:48 PM
4

just commit to the process and see what happens in a year. Hence, I have now arrived at OYS #1 ...without mentioning lifting or lifting stats. No short cuts, go to the gym. Your sex section is g@y. Would she do this for other men? Yes Please tell me that after a year of reading you know the answers to all those questions
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/22 01:18 PM
6

I finally did it. 0 yelling this week. It took me 3 weeks to get here. Even though this is like saying, "I'm not unemployed anymore" So good. Keep it up. Seriously, once you make it 2 weeks, 2 months and more you'll laugh that you used to yell. Yelling is a relationship destroyer for kids. I'm stoked I hit this milestone on my way to excelling as a father. ...and as the man you want to be.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/01/22 12:24 PM
1

Get inspired old man. This makes me laugh. I know I'm up there compared to many but I do not feel old at all. It comes quick. Also, the unchained man exercise would surely help. You know. I haven't read this. I'm reading the art of not giving a %$@! now and it's not resonating. I guess I've already taken my fucks back. I'll order UCM today. I see you are very comfortable right now. Do you meet and mingle with the same people? Did you try to do a new hobby? or travel to a new country outside of f…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/22 04:09 PM
3

That is an interesting train of thought. I kind of like to live with a "comparison is the thief of joy" motto. Which, of course has its danger of settling and ego protecting failure. I am affluent compared to some of my friends. I'm less compared to others. Good looking man made 10mm. Impressive, horns makes 500k. Impressive. I used to crumble in those comparisons and then compare myself with less affluent. I don't anymore. Its all ego. I am enjoying everyday.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/22 12:14 AM
1

It was hard to find anything to pick on in your oys. (that's inspiring) Thanks rag. I do this for potential blind spots. Yea. That's what I am toggling. It's almost like the stay plan is the go plan for a second home. It's a long term vision of a lifestyle I would like and I believe in time it will come about. I don't need it to be happy so I'm in no rush and will continue my budget as is. You are right, the more I save, the easier it gets but man, overpaying for anything is against my grain. It…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/01/22 11:30 PM
4

Her and another hostess were doing that whole thing where they whisper to each other and kept looking back at me. ... 5'10" 218lbs approximately around 25% BF. Wonder what they were actually whispering... "Is this all we get here?" "I think he's married! That poor girl." "I wonder what he would look like if he lost all that weight?"
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/22 06:22 PM
1

They’re 6 and 2, there’s any number of random reasons they start whining, fighting complaining. Always an opportunity to teach, even at 2. Definitely at 6. They will usually follow what you model and will listen if actions and words are congruent. I mean detach more in the sense of emotionally (not physically). When the toddler is screaming...I’ve been working with the other one on being patient and waiting until I’m ready to listen to him. OK. This is good. I thought you meant detach and let th…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/22 04:03 PM
9

OYS #? Annual(ish) entry, last OYS, Dec 8, 2020 53, married. Four kids 21 down to 13. 5’7 163. In General. This was one of the best years of my life. Travelled extensively for various hiking and surfing trips along with several business trips/dinners and outings. Lifting Doing a three day per week PPL - BP – 155 3x9; Squat 210 (3 x12 – 245 1x5 was best); Bent over rows 145 3x10; Seated shoulder dumb bell 45’s 3x12. Lifting is both a joy and a frustration. I did SL 5x5 when I started lifting. I j…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/22 01:31 PM
1

I'll go looking through your history to see what I can learn. When I finished my year of OYS, I deleted them. I "killed that guy" and did not want to revisit. Thanks for sharing your notes. You're welcome
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/22 12:47 PM
1

When both kids are going off at the same time, I just need to detach from the situation. What do you mean by this? How/why are they going off? How/why detach?
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/22 12:38 PM
2

This week, in response to me initiating my wife said “I wish that I wanted to have sex with you”. This is a response I have received a number of times in the past. she stopped me and said, “Tell me something good about me”. This is something she has said at the start of sex a couple of times in the past. I never really know what to say. Just trading notes... I heard the same things. Nearly identical. I'm an inch taller than you so essentially the same. Same age too. When I started OYSing I weigh…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/01/22 01:47 PM
1

Fair enough. Please, for God's sake, lift.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/01/22 12:46 AM
1

I'm not sure how you got any of that from what I wrote. Because it is what you wrote. I could be wrong in my assessment of your 1st OYS but what you penned is atypical - at least maybe the way you penned it. The whole process took three years, This is not outlined well in your OYS, and you wrote this like "all it took" were some realizations, reading and a conversation. The words you chose to use are not what would come from someone who read and internalized all of the sidebar material. It looke…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/01/22 10:35 PM
2

You surprised me on this. Maybe you're excited he read your post. Weak lifts, talks his way into desire, falls in love all over again. I smell short term flash, fluff and bs. My bet is he won't be back, or if he is, not for rosy reasons. But hey, I've been wrong before...
/r/MarriedRedPill12/01/22 09:48 PM
2

I was only playing the game until I could find the right woman, and then I would retire from the game. I could go back to being a kid again, and mommy would never leave. That was my fantasy. OK. And I decided that I wanted my wife to be happy. I wanted that more than I wanted to keep my family together. Wow. Sure... OK Now everything is voluntary between us. OK My wife has noticed the change, of course, and keeps commenting upon it, I have realized that I truly love my wife. So, let's see. You h…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/01/22 03:15 PM
1

I'm doing something about this now. What? This is a place of action. List WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO DO. Do it. Let's see what happens next week.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/01/22 12:35 PM
1

You are welcome. On to OYS 29
/r/MarriedRedPill12/01/22 03:20 AM
1

To help with the bench, I've added push-ups into my off-day routines. Once or twice during the day, I'll just do those until failure. How long have you been trying this? Is it helping or too new to know?
/r/MarriedRedPill11/01/22 01:47 PM
10

This is too simple. It's like you are saying that ShuttingTFUp, reading, lifting, being social, and getting comfortable with being self validating was effective for you? No anger? No whining, no mental masturbation, just action? Hmmm. 2 of 6 initiations and not crying about it? You're on your way... Good read.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/01/22 01:09 PM
2

On one hand, I think that this is just standard teenage daughter bullshit. On the other hand, my ego doesn't like the disrespect. Kids are barely different from women. "Standard teenage bullshit" is your ego telling you you're not at any fault. Ego has nothing to do with liking disrespect - with your kid, its a boundary you either enforce or you don't. Go back to what I said last week and where are you failing?
/r/MarriedRedPill11/01/22 12:49 PM
2

The reality is, there is a possibility that my wife may never come around. If I’m being honest this terrifies me because I’m not quite ready to burn it all down. Intellectually I know that this is the thing that is holding me back from making progress but emotionally I'm still too afraid to accept it. If I would just accept this reality - that it is possible my wife wont come around and I may need to move on - This is a lot of wife hamstering. You are literally admitting that your wife is holdin…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/01/22 12:59 PM
6

Maybe somewhere I’m afraid that somehow MRP will end up being ‘wrong’, Christianity will be ‘right’, and god will judge/condemn me. Following you from the beginning I see this as the heart of all your mental masturbation - especially lately. This was my biggest struggle with MRP - reconciling what I was learning here and my faith. I thought they were at odds. They're not. Tools from MRP gave me results following the current flow of feminized teaching didn't. I just used the tools here for me, it…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/01/22 04:24 PM
2

Also, try to model for him what a "not fat grown man" looks like. Missed that. Right on. That's the HVM part I discussed. Helps in a lot of life-with kids too.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/01/22 11:33 PM
1

Just writing about it makes me think about what I can do: offer him to help me in household maintenance, invite him when i am talking with friends or wife so he can start listening to adult conversations... things related to showing him, slowly, a way to the adult world. By sharing time with his father doing adult things. I do a ton with my boys - they're in that 14 to 16 age range. I invite them to do all kinds of stuff. Build around the house, shoot guns, buy knives, surf, camp, hike... I genu…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/01/22 11:31 PM
3

My kids need a father. Identify ways to improve and better fill their needs. You asked in another thread for a resource. I don't have one. This is one area in my life I have little regrets and I've never read a book about how to be a better parent. They all need nearly the same thing. Time: Time with you they know is authentic. Attention: You being interested and attuned to their interests. Praise: Genuine, and not just for what they DO but who they are. Boundaries: I had mine, you make yours. M…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/01/22 06:39 PM
3

Sure but you missed my point. What does "I got" say about your mental model? Who's the prize?
/r/MarriedRedPill04/01/22 05:01 PM
3

It’s worth noting that I got a lot of sex last week. You know better than to use this sentence.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/01/22 04:33 PM
3

Hmm... is not going so great. I don't know how good a relationship can go between a single full-time single dad and a 12-year-old daughter but I suspect that it could be better. Time, attention, praise and boundaries. The first three builds relationship. Boundaries builds respect.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/01/22 01:48 PM
1

I thought allot about this the past 2 weeks and found that my caretaking and ability to create emotional intimacy is terrible. Like non-existent. Yea. We can suck at this. I do too. DEVI was helpful and also MITW's Good Sex Requires Emotion. I haven't created a safe place for her to explore her desire naturally, I'm not the rock that she needs emotionally, so she doesn't feel true desire. You are in her head here. Maybe you're right, maybe not. But either way... I'm going to focus on caretaking …
/r/MarriedRedPill31/12/21 04:57 PM
1

I don't know man. I'm sensing a lot of bullshit in here. Your marriage and sex section is a lot of hamstering about sex. A lot. Abundance doesn't hamster. I just don't care as much, if at all, anymore. If this is true why two paragraphs about it? I suspect "You don't care" because: After being rejected numerous times over the last few months It's one thing for this to not be where you want it, it's another to bullshit yourself that "you just don't care." You care. Any time my (4) kids are off of…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/12/21 10:20 AM
1

any helpful alternatives to 123 system for kids? While hugely beneficial I don’t always like using a take away system for bad behavior. I’m looking for other creative options. What is the specific issue here? Options for what exactly?
/r/MarriedRedPill22/12/21 07:23 PM
2

You can choose her, but you're going to need to have her take her own redpill. She's going to need to anyways, she's not in the drivers seat anymore. You are. And you'll need to have patience to lead her through that if you want to. Solid post. The other end of the spectrum is having her take her own red pill and watch her buck a bit to see if you're for real. Then literally exhale into not having to take on a role she didn't know cognitively she was taking on.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/12/21 04:26 PM
1

This is an AskMrp post. You have no comment history, so OYS #1? List that. Also, read the OYS format and use it if you really want to gain value. Beyond that, the feedback you are looking for is this is simply a comfort test/shitty comfort test. Rather than throw up a no value, potential rule 9 OYS, research that.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/12/21 04:16 PM
2

So the cliff notes: I've been a drunk captain. My wife is not attracted to me.. I've been a shitty father (3 strong willed rambunctious boys is just lack of leadership). I lift. I have covert contracts. I'm a whiny bitch but I know I'm not supposed to be. Actually, I know mentally a lot of things I'm supposed to say here and I said them. Now, what are you going to DO? Why are you here?
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/21 04:03 PM
1

Now that I am trying to move on there is some regret and anger over time wasted that is pulling me down into depression. I think the answer is the just grind. Keep taking the right actions until it passes and the fog that I am in right now lifts, so that is what I am doing Great response by Red Koan. Here you said: Taking the right actions 'until it passes.' This is passive. Regret and anger are understandable but useless. Been there. It was consuming me until I made the decision to stare it dow…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/21 01:14 PM
1

I felt validated when people recognized my selflessness. And I was resentful when people in my personal life didn’t respect it. All of this reflection is really good. I went through this same cycle you detailed. The 'shoulds.' I didn't like it and shut all 'shoulds' down. I felt like I was becoming a selfish, narcissistic asshole. Over time, as I built much stronger frame, I found I am somewhat selfless. It is just from a completely different place. The resentment you felt were the strings attac…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/21 12:52 PM
3

The Red Letters won't tell you because this place is not for the lazy. Shortcuts and quick fixes aren't the answer. There is a whole sidebar of material and weekly OYS to utilize. Start from scratch, do the work. Your lifts are good if you're not lying.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/21 05:48 PM
17

I'm going to flick my own nipples and see if I shit test myself... Good post. Except the red light. Don't kill yourself...
/r/MarriedRedPill24/11/21 04:03 PM
4

You are using overt communication because you're impatient with results in your relationship. You cannot talk your way into attraction. I remember in my journey a phase of, "I've done all this, why isn't it working?" You said two weeks ago, you've been at this for six months but the majority has been mental masturbation. Mental masturbation does not help you become attractive and it doesn't make things "work". You initiated last week and was met with a hard no. Telling. You cannot talk your way …
/r/MarriedRedPill24/11/21 10:26 AM
1

I don't talk about fight club Good. I bombed that. I was so pissed. Only my best friend is along for this ride. How great is that. Same, I had/have one too. I'd love to PM you some on this side of it sometime to hear about the other side as you call it. Anytime.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/11/21 01:28 AM
2

So this week I’ve taken control of budget and spending and after normal bills and expenses will provide an allowance per month for personal spending. I expected argument about this but didn’t get any and I sensed some relief that I am taking the burden away. This is good. Nice step up in leadership. Action. If anyone has some input into this that would be great. Well, on this comfort/safety bit. Not this... so discussed it with her No, no, no, no, no, no, hell no. Acta non verba. Talking is not …
/r/MarriedRedPill24/11/21 01:11 AM
2

Spiritual struggle I've written about previously continues, but I intentionally opened up to my two groups of men ( Bible study and basketball ) about it. Very curious as to what piece you opened up about? You've had all kinds of things on the spiritual side that you are wrestling with. Just FYI, I've been through this myself. Committed blue pill Christian until I found TRM and Dalrocks site at 50. I completely lost my shit here for a year. Finding the other side now. Not easy at all.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/11/21 12:07 AM
2

I don't want to go into details but think therapy and issues related to ADHD and Severe Anxiety. Medication is involved but she continues to act out. I am clueless on how to try to lead that situation. In case 3KL rule 9's you, I wanted to point out that you may find that as you get yourself in order, this may subside some. Kids are a reflection of you too. If you're clueless how to lead, they're clueless how to follow...
/r/MarriedRedPill23/11/21 12:44 PM
1

This is guilt. A trap I see many Christians fall into and never exit. I refuse to live with guilt over not doing enough or being "Godly" enough. It's a dead end. What is the most important commandment? "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and love your neighbor AS YOURSELF. I strangely found the more I got my personal $h!+ together, the more people were drawn to me.
/r/RPChristians19/11/21 12:37 AM
3

Why would these two conflict? Why do you feel pulled apart?
/r/RPChristians18/11/21 02:18 PM
4

I am now more afraid of living the rest of my life like this than dying. Good. I've said a million times, "Change doesn't begin until the pain of staying the same exceeds the fear of change.' Probably a lot of the reason I think there are trust issues between my wife and I. Gonna take a long time to earn it back from her. This is external and in her frame. Nice guy shit. How about, "I want to become a self validating, congruent man." That is internal, your MPO. I don't waste my time trying to ea…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/11/21 12:50 PM
3

Very good OYS. I don't remember you... I 'm a little bitch. "I have acted like a little bitch. Time to stop." FTFY. My main goal right now is to just figure out myself. Naval gazing. This is not a goal because right now it doesn't matter. I can help with your goals or what to focus on. Actually, you can help because you wrote it... I did it all for validation and when I don't get it I'm butthurt about it. I don't know if I've done one thing in my life that wasn't for the validation. Work toward …
/r/MarriedRedPill17/11/21 01:26 PM
2

Hey Blarg, let's also come together and give jbird a great big hug...
/r/MarriedRedPill12/11/21 09:51 PM
1

I agree I am in her frame. I have started making the necessary adjustments and improvements. I read all responses and replies this a.m. A huge problem with people who wander in start "I'm going to, I will, blah blah blah." I'll challenge you to OYS starting tomorrow, retard Tuesday, and continue while you read the sidebar. This place will not necessarily fix your marriage, but give you tools to fix yourself. What is your plan for "necessary adjustments" and why exactly are you making them?
/r/askMRP08/11/21 12:27 PM
3

Acta non verba is so much stronger but since you verba'd, you'll need to follow up with acta. Kids are not much different than women, words only mean so much...
/r/MarriedRedPill03/11/21 07:20 PM
4

The sex is no longer the goal, just something nice along the way. Whatever. It's the only thing you wrote about. Even the fitness section is about sex. Enjoy the rule 9 when it comes...
/r/MarriedRedPill03/11/21 02:34 PM
1

I took him in my arms and owned up to my shit behavior and told him it wouldn't happen again. Is this true?
/r/MarriedRedPill02/11/21 11:45 PM
3

time you have a goal, execute at least once so your OYS can have some useful FR in it rather than pipe dreams. He did execute. Potty training. He plans to start in four days...
/r/MarriedRedPill02/11/21 01:03 PM
3

Horns was really nice to you. Actually you both were too nice. I quit reading at "I'm back to give it another shot."
/r/MarriedRedPill01/11/21 03:19 PM
1

Hey man. You posted this in the main, not a reply to whoever...
/r/MarriedRedPill29/10/21 03:06 PM
1

In a desire to do things what way?
/r/MarriedRedPill24/10/21 03:24 PM
1

Interesting. That is a lot of female energy. In your OYS you said woman, now women. You are young. How long have you been married? I can't figure out your relationship section. Does marriage fit in your vision/mission? My dog used to jump all over me when I walked in the door. Drove me crazy. I expected it but I gave him no - anything. Ignored it. He got my positive attention at other times. Took awhile but he never jumps on me anymore...
/r/MarriedRedPill21/10/21 02:29 PM
3

Same. Good catch. I didn't even read the rest.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/10/21 02:05 PM
2

Nearly everyone comes in here aimless. 'else they wouldn't be here. So what? Read the sidebar books, OYS as you go. Drop the ego, take feedback and forge a path...
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/21 10:14 PM
1

The real answer to this non question is, "Yes, this happens to us often but not worth reporting. You're retarded..."
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/21 03:16 PM
1

I know what I want from my woman and from my wife in particular. I avoid the energy of jealousy, anxiety and bad moods that come up. Well, she is a female. You are basing your happiness on others actions. You said it yourself... There is a lot of anger and covert contracts around these areas Tyred already asked what you were going to about it. I'm curious too... obvious answer is that my frame and my actions are not worthy enough yet to earn this higher level of trust. Even this statement is bas…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/21 12:16 PM
4

Anything else you could tell us about your wife?
/r/MarriedRedPill19/10/21 06:56 PM
2

Literally every fucking guy here has had this response. Every? Too many give up before the other even notices. But either way, yea, he's not special. OYS 4 though? She's probably trying to decide to stay on board with someone who admits he's chronically aimless...
/r/MarriedRedPill19/10/21 02:48 PM
3

In looking back at your OYS's, the only thing I saw on lifting was 4-5 days/week. Its important to post stats. Ht, wt, lifts... Then... shit hit the fan. Wife had a massive breakdown, do you still love me? Am I enough for you? Do you only love me when we have sex? Tears, real visceral emotion. She insisted on saying it should be unconditional love and that I should want to spend more time with her even when were not having sex, I told her that it is not unconditional and that if she does not wan…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/10/21 11:42 AM
2

How do you deal with all of the compliments without them encouraging the monkey to dance? Here's how. Your own awnsers... I don't think my mission is clear. I am not really sure of my mission. I grew up with a mentally ill mother that didn't provide the best foundation for a developing boy. I would like to provide that foundation for my own child. Now that I'm writing this, I can see clearly that this is not a mission - this is what a man that has his shit together would do - not a life mission …
/r/MarriedRedPill15/10/21 04:22 PM
2

With the half assing I see, a little Rambo overdrive is weirdly commendable. Good move to go back slowly.. I did the same as you in a way. It's helpful to go back and OYS as you reread the sidebar. It'll give you some deeper roots.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/10/21 10:36 PM
2

I've worked from home for years, at least a decade prior to covid. that is one of the main reasons I have my career up top on priorities. Fact followed by excuse. Whatever you are doing now, do it elsewhere if at all possible. I want something to benefit me, I'm at a limit for time right now Fact followed by excuse. Go build a social life. Action? I see this tying into the rest of the plan actually. I never saw a plan of action. Here is what I see in your reply: I've been thinking I want I don't…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/10/21 01:02 PM
2

Discipline and consistency has been my achilles heel for a very long time, ...only 50 OYS's to go to take care of that achilles heel...
/r/MarriedRedPill13/10/21 12:12 PM
2

I have now realized I shouldn’t punish my wife for being a woman, that’s just a revenge thing that serves me no purpose. TWOTSM, ch. 15: "Every moment of your life is either a test or a celebration. Same is true about your woman. Not only is her simple existence a test for you, but one of her deepest pleasures in intimacy is testing you, then feeling you are not moved off course by her challenge." With as much as you say you've read, you should know this by now. This revenge thing is an internal…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/10/21 12:06 PM
1

The wife and I both work at home and it makes it harder to be scarce. You started with a fact, followed by an excuse. I can tell you that both of you working at home all day, is not helpful to anything. Not for you, not for her, not for anything. I would find a space away from the house to work every day at your stage. Even during the worst of the lock down, I left all day. Your social section included her and your family. Go build your own social life. Your own. This was an area I hit hard earl…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/10/21 12:00 AM
2

I still have full balls, Why? at this point I really DNGAF. DNGAF that they're full or DNGAF about what she thinks? Whichever of the two, I don't believe you. If you DNGAF about full balls, you wouldn't write it, and you wouldn't be male. If you DNGAF about her thoughts, you would be initiating. So, I smell fear...
/r/MarriedRedPill07/10/21 03:37 PM
3

/u/threekindsoflucky Rule #? I also need to get back to the gym regularly (3x). Which leads to: I need to own my shit. Need to drop my BF% Career: I need to focus more here I'm committing to ~52 OYS's Financially: Need much more discipline Ridiculous. I also need more submission to be satisfied. ...you mean validation. You'll never do 52 OYS's.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/21 12:22 PM
2

Maybe you should have a rule #? ban for too many I Will's, I'm going to's, I need to's, thinking about"s... Funny how the one's filled with those phrases typically start with "blah, blah, blah happened at the gym and I haven't been lifting, so blah blah, blah...
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/21 11:39 AM
2

The wife kept instigating me, so I asked her to give me space to take care of my daughter. Why would you ask her to give you space? Can't you simply create that space? How could this have played out if you ignored her completely, without butthurt and just took care of your daughter?
/r/MarriedRedPill05/10/21 11:30 PM
3

My innards were teeming with fear, insecurity and validational conflict through most of these events. So many men never willingly step in to this. You know, on their edge. Another favorite line... "Everything is hard, choose your hard." Well, it is hard, ...until it's not.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/10/21 03:41 PM
6

Good job Horns, this Tuesday could be entertaining. Nice FR. I remember my first experience like this in my journey. You might feel like you finally "made it" and get tempted to take the foot off the gas. I did. Don't. The fun is just beginning.... I'm most impressed by the STFU.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/10/21 08:29 PM
2

I am lazy and I have to own it. So this is what OYS is for. Good on the weights and diet, that's the best start to lay the foundation.. So rather than spending a whole OYS on sex next week, why don't you list items personally or professionally that you are lazy in and what you DID to own them this week. Listen, I get it, nearly every man wants their submissive slut, but it doesn't happen by telling her your desires when you are barely attractive. You have much better chances when you are past it…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/09/21 11:36 AM
3

For those reading along here, this is what a constructive OYS looks like... I’m at the end Funny how things stop being intimidating after confronting the fear. I spent time I’m continuing I focused I’ve also been All these statements are past tense action rather than so many of the "I'm going to" and "I need to's" I always see. One thing that helped was noticing the physical manifestations of emotions in the body, like tightness. From there, I can jump to thinking whether I’m letting someone els…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/09/21 11:18 AM
1

I had a pretty uneventful week... meaning I personally just didn't accomplish very much and that needs to change. So that's why you listed no goals for the week. Because I didn't accomplish much, I ended up defaulting to writing about what comes naturally to me, which deep down is obviously other peoples' reactions to me and/or the validation I receive from it... even though I tell myself that I don't need it. It seems all you are trying to accomplish is to get your wife to suck your dick when y…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/09/21 04:10 PM
3

You are too wrapped up in your wife's responses to make much progress in your journey. You'll have to separate mentally or little will change - in you or your world around you. I am going to be more overt this week in stating my desires/needs (something I have never been good at), but will do so while maintaining OI. I don't think you authentically can because so much of your OYS is about her and her responses, not you and your vision outside of sex.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/09/21 02:05 PM
2

I think it might be helpful for her to see that there are other women interested, and that I have options. Covert contract It’s challenging though because there is a natural aloofness and untouchableness associated with my public position … and not entirely in a sexy way. Can you elaborate on this? I do think at some point I’ll have to box her into looking into her own childhood and health issues, I just have a suspicion that it’s too early for that. Best to end this train of thought. You have y…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/09/21 12:59 PM
2

Take a second read of your original OYS, then your reply and now this. You went from trying to project awesome, to ego protected DEERing, to this. A real OYS. The mental work is harder. True. And this is where a lot of men lose and quit. And this is why I gave you all kinds of shit. My suggestion: What mental work is most important to YOU? OYS about that. You are obviously DEERing like a MFer . That's one to work on. I am at a point right now that is a little boring. I don't think so. I think yo…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/09/21 11:59 AM
1

I chuckled when I saw u/ubermencsh33 reply to you. My thoughts exactly. I'm not going through all your responses. Your whole OYS is...boring. The gold thing is cool for sure but the rest is directionless. It's fine that you are ordering details in your life but there's no mention of how it supports a bigger picture of where you're headed or what you want to become. And the whole thing starts with you not lifting. Even if it's legit, I wasn't surprised by what I read and I wasn't surprised by you…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/09/21 07:11 PM
4

3-4 compound lifting days Lame goal. Pick one of those numbers or you won't do it. 1-2 Vegetables per day Lame goal. Same as above. Less sugar/hydrogenated carbs Lame goal. Reach out to 3 friends I have not connected with in awhile Good goal but I don't think you will. get 6-8 hours of sleep on 3-4 nights Lame. Too vague. Do one new thing that makes me uncomfortable. Great goal. Report on next OYS. Bet you don't. cut screentime by 10 percent. Are you really going to measure this? Nope. Do atleas…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/09/21 01:50 AM
3

Good on the alcohol. Did you catch MITW' s point? Who decides? You decide. He caught that too. Many people try to become what they've learned that they 'should.' But you are the decider, the judge of that. I like your part on the kids. The wife? Nah. Remember, it all starts with you. It's important to build a congruent YOU. From your mental point of origin. I found the more congruent I became, and the more I lived in my authentic frame, these things became by products. I have rich relationships …
/r/MarriedRedPill16/09/21 01:39 AM
4

I'm on a break from lifting due to an aching arm. Almost quit reading... Self-organization Little progress here. Too little. Hmm However, I am now checking E-Mails and my calendar daily. Wait, we have some progress... Sat my wife down and made an appointment with her to clean out our mail inbox. Even more progress. This made her wet for sure. Some dude here gave me a valuable lesson That is specific. Some dude. The mental shift from that lesson has been a game changer for me. If you read this: T…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/09/21 01:23 AM
2

Still been able to curtail the alcohol? To be an amazing husband and father. I see this often. Can outline what this looks like to you?
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/21 12:09 PM
3

You provided so much entertainment here today. Would be fun to see you hang around and really learn. Unfortunately, I agree with Blarg that you are probably three weeks tops. Thanks for playing.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/09/21 12:17 AM
4

WTF?? Do your own OYS. This reply needs the delete button. Less than 0 value. Post history filled with porn too...
/r/MarriedRedPill07/09/21 12:57 PM
3

right now I was thinking about sex all the time Shows in your OYS. Little about anything else. In every MRP guy's journey there will come a moment when a) he'll be able to say that he's happy with his life or b) he'll reach a point in which he'll be able to make overt demands from his partner in order to get rid of unwanted behaviours. I'll rephrase..."in many MRP guys journeys, from around OYS 5 to 20ish, his hamster will tell him that he can be happy with his life or his ego will tell him he c…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/09/21 12:18 PM
4

With ICM on this one. Haven't read the book and already not interested. Has that "In her frame" feel. For starters... she can maintain solid communication skills under any circumstance and doesn’t resort to passive aggressive or childish behavior. she must also have an inquisitive mind that is open to hearing other opinions and possibly changing her own. she must be able to self-advocate and be assertive in her thoughts and opinions. All these qualities are fluid depending on circumstances. Cert…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/09/21 12:21 PM
2

Parenting: calmed down and asked him what kind of person he wanted to be, Great question for a 7 year old. He needs discipline and refuses to accept it. punishments hardly ever feel like they work. Your son seems like a tough case... or, wait. Could this be a reflection of you? maintaining frame still holding frame. You have no clue. Keep reading... Maybe I'll start posting song progress here so you guys can shit on it. What is wrong with you? I'm not sure why I'm wasting time responding to this…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/09/21 01:23 AM
3

I am feeling a bit stuck. This was a good OYS. This feeling of stuck is the dissonance between reading here and seeing others (vets mostly) lives, mental models and outcomes while you are still trying to figure it all out for you. In other words, you see what you want but you're still where you are. You will feel a level of stuck...until you're not. I just need to do the work, physically and mentally. And you just typed the magic formula. I was going to blow off finishing this OYS. I thought “Wh…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/09/21 11:53 AM
1

List five of your most glaring weaknesses that you want to become strengths. I could have done this in my weakest state after two months of reading...
/r/MarriedRedPill27/08/21 12:10 AM
1

Have to My frame is shit Ive decided that I'm going to Need to stop As was pointed out in an earlier Oys, im trying to skip ahead and not fully internalize the basics. This includes acting on the information rather than reading so much that I have no idea how or what I should be implementing. Now you're not even skipping ahead. You're doing nothing but thinking and recognizing. Have to, need to, going to start, I'm getting fat, blah blah blah. You're not even body weight lifting while waiting fo…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/08/21 12:23 PM
2

I'm only getting to that point lately after 2 1/2 years of anger. I could barely even read here. It was bad. Talked with u/rocknrollchuck off line about it a few times and time is helping. But I am finding a personal freedom free of 'religion' and free of feminine conditioning that I have never experienced in all these years at church.
/r/RPChristians25/08/21 03:25 PM
0

This is a great question. I think so but it has challenged my Christian worldview. I have nearly deconstructed my faith and still completely rebuilding. It has also left me with a deep disappointment with current church and what it does to men. I won't put my boys through it. I am coming to the understanding that as humans, we have deep spiritual needs that only Christ can meet but we also have deep human needs that we are responsible for meeting. The church kind of teaches that the more you foc…
/r/RPChristians24/08/21 12:07 PM
1

I hate myself and what I haven't accomplished. Things I have "accomplished" really don't compare to liking myself. The accomplishments were more satisfying after that... I like the idea of starting out small with my goals, Me too...
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/21 11:50 PM
3

Been actively doing shit around the house to avoid compliance tests This is funny. You fear your wife. Really struggling with the whole "goal/mission" Need to hurry up and order WISNIFG and get a MAP sorted asap. No hurrying here. Look, nearly everyone here struggles with this whole area when they come here because most have lived their life based on what they think other people think. Let's look at some things you wrote: I feel like this might be related to work as I spend a substantial amount …
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/21 11:50 AM
2

At the same time, it also felt empty in a way. At least it was confirmation that I can get sex if I want to. Maybe its possible that your mission is larger than sex and the ability to attract women...?
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/21 03:03 AM
2

Even though you got rule 9'd...there will be stretches where you will not see or be able to gain your validation from your wife and other women. This week you did. Some weeks you won't. But you can get to a point where you have your own frame as u/hornsofapathy linked. When you do, it won't matter whether these things happen or not. They are irrelevant because you will be doing you. They probably will happen but you will not need to spend half of your OYS talking about it. You're not there yet, …
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/21 02:53 AM
9

Frame: still working on holding it and making it stronger ...you mean having it. Impressive on the addictions. Also, love the interactions with your son. Really good stuff on those two parts of your OYS. If you read over this again, you'll notice that a lot of your internal progress measurement is based on reactions from your wife and other women. Its normal and I did the same thing at your stage (i.e. "This stuff works"). But as that was pointed out to me, I paid attention to it in my own life.…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/21 01:12 PM
4

This whole thing is a victim puke. Last day I reacted to her unmotivated shouting to the kids by shouting even more - to the kids. But I noticed right after that this was wrong all around. This is pathetic, captain. They're kids. I have no master direction. I don't have a mission. I don't have a plan for my future. I think you see the correlation here... Hopefully this will stop being a conscious act soon on my part. I get apologies after a while. We'll be out of the house for a while and I won'…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/08/21 12:13 PM
5

As I wandered around my house the other day I thought to myself, does this look like the house of a high value male? Some aspects certainly do not. Most of your OYS was about you and shifting to your own MPO - good. This quote seems to need a mental shift. It looks like "My house should look like...xyz" How about, "Does this house reflect ME, MY interests and MY values. Does this house look how I want it to look... My house used to look like what I thought others would like, with a bit of my own…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/08/21 11:44 AM
3

getting sex seems easy - I just need to wait until the toddler falls asleep Your next sexless spell is around the corner...
/r/MarriedRedPill27/07/21 11:13 AM
2

I read your askmrp post and subsequent comments this weekend too. It's funny man, you show women this stuff and they'll hate it. You STFU and become it and they love it. u/oobertas told you what I told you last week. You're barely digging in. Shit's burning down. He is correct in setting aside your ego and let everyone test you. That is what this place is for. At your stage, I would not have had the frame to handle what happened. I was too invested in the relationship from a place of low value. …
/r/MarriedRedPill24/07/21 12:55 PM
6

I cried like a little bitch in private. Nope. You cried like a man.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/07/21 04:03 PM
4

fear ...and this is why you are here. Knowing what boundary to set is honestly the hardest part. Some guys can't formulate boundaries and don't really know where to start. Follow through is linear and easy - if you step out and do it. You ever watch Super Nanny? I could barely watch that show as those husbands didn't even know how to set something, let alone follow through. But you say you know what to set. Now is where you have to move to true OI. Step out of fear. You have to trust the boundar…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/07/21 01:27 PM
2

So the question is, why are they empty? Is it that you don't know how or what to set as a boundary or you're afraid of fallout if you hold your line? Which is it?
/r/MarriedRedPill21/07/21 02:55 AM
8

So, I left. Get a call 10 minutes later - agree to go pick them up. She’s going ballistic. I just calmly said - “next time I’m not coming back. Put a toddler in time out. You tell him 10 minutes. Set a timer. Toddler gets up after 5. You say to yourself, well he did 5, so... Then you tell him, "Next time it'll be the full 10." He won't respect you or your boundary. That's what you did when you went back to pick them up because you told them to find another way home and didn't follow through. ...…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/07/21 05:03 PM
3

I’m energised That'll fade, then what? I’m going to x 7 or 8 times. This isn't a place of "I'm going to" it's a place of "I did..." I’m going to post in these weekly OYS threads and own up to the bullshit I’ve been inflicting on myself and my wife as I can. ...betchya don't. Why? ...ending with "as I can". Weak. If I do the other stuff, that will happen anyway. Nice covert contract. I read more about your wife than you. You have an explosion of motivation - for her. But discipline - for you? Don…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/07/21 12:17 PM
2

For example, instead of saying I’m overworked, I think, this is a life test and now is my time to show the world I’m a better person, show everyone I’ve improve in my journey. A better model: This is a life test and now is a time be better and to utilize the tools that have helped me improve in my journey. "Showing the world" and "show everyone" is, well... you tell me. Good job on bench.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/07/21 03:26 PM
1

Good. If you are serious about it, be specific in your OYS's about the things you are working on improving, your gains and your set backs. You'll get personal clarity and potentially better feedback.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/07/21 02:53 PM
4

I am still nowhere near where I want to be. All right, man. 10 in. At the beginning it was a disaster. Now you are still OYSing but just recapping weeks. One time, you went into preparing for the loss of another eye and the goals around it but that is it. Everything else has been, "here's what I did this week." Why are you here and where do you want to be? What steps are you taking to get there? Self assessment I have a long way to go. Where? Need to work on killing my ego. Why? How? BTW... Got …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/07/21 12:06 PM
4

PARENTING Four year old daughter. I am now the father I want to be…. The father I wish I had. Loving, giving, stern when required but most importantly, PRESENT. My daughter has been amazing at home and in school. Good to see. I remember this struggle. They are a reflection of you too. Now a good reflection...
/r/MarriedRedPill07/07/21 10:19 PM
6

Chose to skip last week, way too busy doing important things. You are so awesome. I noticed the wife pondering this statement. Life in her frame... Next thing. These are absurd, I will spare some details but trust me when I say these conversations and the way they were discussed was absolutely absurd. Afterwards, I realized the absurdity of how her mind works. Her judgement is a) incorrect and 2) irrelevant. Do you even like your first mate? I let myself slip last week, I lost my cool and put ev…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/07/21 08:12 PM
1

Moving forward I'm resting my back for a week A lot of lifting is discipline. It seems you are saying you are taking a week off. Excuses are easy to make, keep going but avoid any lifts that put stress on the back. I hurt my shoulder several months ago and could barely do bench, ohp but kept going for everything else.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/07/21 11:05 AM
2

but I need to focus on what I am doing here and quit half assing things. I failed more than I succeded this week. Failed here. Hardly read at all. Failed here. My head wasn't in the game. ate way too much junk Behind at work Lost focus this week and failed Good Lord. At least you quit smoking. You half assed this very weak OYS too. You've been banned twice and I may be wrong but you wrote this to not get banned. After reading this I have no idea what you are working toward. If you are going to e…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/06/21 09:33 PM
2

I have been doing better but notice when my wife does give me the sex frequency and quality I want, Nice mental model. It really works but the few times I get hit with a no it is a mental battle to have OI and not show any butt hurt. She might help make a man out of you yet.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/06/21 11:18 AM
7

but I think I would approach her from a position like “I am planning to buy a gun and I want to work with you to find a way to ease your discomfort with that.” Nope. This is most likely a long, endless, pointless conversation. She doesn't know what would ease her discomfort. I heard the same exact things about not having a gun in the house because of...well, everything. About a year or so into my journey, I bought a 9mm and brought it home. Showed it to her, put it on my dresser. She asked all k…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/06/21 11:05 AM
1

I've noticed I'm building a hope or expectation of her wearing lingerie again (been 2 years). Covert contact with myself maybe that if I can make this happen, THEN I'm successful. I need to stop rehearsing in my head how I'd tell her why she should, and just focus on being awesome. If she wants to wear it again some day to make me happy and add value, then great. Too many bad memories of 'the talk' failing to achieve lasting results. This is a lot of mind games and your being a puss. You said se…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/06/21 06:43 PM
2

So, Lets look at your cross to bear. Also - help me out here. Which is it? It has been around 5 weeks since I began lifting and dieting. vs. I joined the gym on Saturday and have begun lifting. Next: This place is quite overwhelming with all the info that is presented and required, but I haven't been this excited about anything in a long time. I'm looking forward to the man I'll become. It is overwhelming, especially with the conditioning you have taken in for the last several years. You have be…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/06/21 02:28 AM
1

Flirt a bit throughout the day, positive responses to some teasing and innuendos with laughter and playful hitting back so I am thinking my game rolling along pretty good Rule 9 may come. But before it does, you are gauging your game on her response. This is still in her frame still, not yours. This is the dancing monkey MITW always talks about. To be fair, I had to dance a bit to not dance anymore. "I know you want to have sex, but I just can't make myself feel in the mood - I just don't feel i…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/06/21 02:08 PM
1

I need to be mentally strong enough so it doesnt break me if it happens. I dont want to drown my sorrows in my addictions like I did in my 20s. Ok. Good stuff. OYSing helps in finding blind spots. The more you OYS, the more feedback you'll get if you're serious about becoming mentally stronger. I want to be a model for my grandsons because they have a 50% chance of receiving this curse. I get what you are saying but I used to want to be a role model to my sons but what that really means is that …
/r/MarriedRedPill09/06/21 04:31 PM
1

I need to be mentally, physically and financially prepared for this. I read that last week. What specifically does the mental and physical preparation look like to you? Is the stay plan the go plan with the eye? In other words, if you don't lose the other eye, would your preparation end up being meaningless? If not, why not?
/r/MarriedRedPill09/06/21 02:25 AM
1

Lifts SL5x5 SQ-155/BP-95/Row-120/OHP-90/DL-195 These lifts are so great because of the room for growth. But your bench and OHP make no sense to me. You made it to number 5. What do you want to accomplish with this journey? Do you have a vision?
/r/MarriedRedPill09/06/21 01:20 AM
2

My oldest is really getting into drawing and I am encouraging them not just with “wow that’s a great drawing” but noticing details they’ve included or going “I can’t wait to see when it’s finished”. It feels good to encourage an interest without putting any pressure around it. This is a great read. This does more than you may rhink. They want your genuine praise and interest. It gives them a real sense of belonging which is one of three main things they need. It’s become significantly easier not…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/21 12:26 PM
3

Initiated non-verbally. Good. Some ASD to which I answered: “I will never again not be direct with my needs. It’s something you just have to live with”. But, did you really have to talk? Acta non verba. I saw the result, yes. But there is something about action over words both in the short run and the long. Women are covert communicators. Have fun being a little catnip for her. Next time: "Some ASD which I ignored (because OI) and proceeded through."
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/21 12:17 PM
3

When I don't initiate it is 100% because I am afraid I said, "insert whatever." It doesn't matter what it is. It's fear. You just said it. It took me forever too. Probably longer than many, but not as long as others. But I did recognize the fear itself and I pushed through that. I quit caring about how long it took but more would I press through...? This whole thing takes........t. i. m. e.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/05/21 01:48 AM
3

I made it a point to connect with her, but that's not the only driver of sexual intimacy obviously. That part is easy... I need to BE a man who fucks, everyday, as well. I smell fear. "What if I'm rejected," "what if she gets mad..." insert whatever. Remember, a big part of this process is becoming outcome independent. You really can only do that by pushing your edge. When I was at your place, I did not initiate every day. Someone it was only once a week. But try to move that needle when you fee…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/05/21 12:39 PM
2

"I'm not feeling very connected to you lately and all you want is sex". Here is a tip
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/21 01:00 PM
1

I would like and opinion on weather or not I handled it correctly. /u/JCX_pulse is right. You did. This is captain shit. Life is still a raging dumpster fire but I can hear sirens in the distance This was a good read after last week and good drop of the ego. Keep up the lifts and focus on the bf%. Why do I fail? Lack of willpower and dedication. Upon reflection I find one of my biggest faults is that I fail to follow the rules and boundaries I set for myself. If I can't count on myself how can a…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/21 01:46 AM
3

Man. This is one of the saddest OYSs I've read. You also did not post stats. Age, height, weight and lifts. We talk about mission here a lot. I bet there is no way you could even come close to articulating a mission right now. But, after laying out this OYS, can you answer back with a VISION of what you would like your life to look like?
/r/MarriedRedPill07/05/21 12:54 PM
3

Gladly I see MITW came along with some mental model insight for you. Your responses look like you are ready to do something about this "raging dumpster fire." Looking over your OYS you can see your life issues go from the top (you) down. Quitting jerking off "For a week or two" is weak. "I am not going to jerk off this week. If I feel like it, I will...xyz" (For example, Initiate. If unsuccessfull, go to the gym...whatever plan works for you but have one.) The best plan for your daughters is to …
/r/MarriedRedPill06/05/21 12:32 PM
6

OYS 1 "43 year old dumpster fire." Marriage/Sex Why I'm here right? Not anymore Bullshit. I am still hoping it will improve though. Yep. There's the proof - Sex, her and she 15 times in 1 paragraph. love my girls but the oldest has the same issues her mother has Which is pretty much...you. Since realizing this I have made it a priority to give her less of my time. Great idea for a father of an 11 year old girl. Reacting to her. I have been making it a point to spend more time with the two younge…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/05/21 07:19 PM
2

I've re-pasted this comment about 4-5 times now. I should probably make it a post so I can just link to it. Cloudy, I agree. I screen shotted this a while back and have used it a couple times IRL.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/04/21 02:57 PM
2

/u/ubermensch33 let you off the hook early. Anger at who or what?
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/21 02:32 AM
2

Try again. Your mental model of not GETTING fucked by your wife...not in your control. What can you change/do here?
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/21 03:22 PM
3

Your mental model here... "I'm not GETTING fucked...not in my control" Would it help to change this model? What is in your control?
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/21 02:23 PM
1

Johnny, the english teacher. :) I was trying so hard to sound smart...
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/21 02:12 AM
1

this post has me curious if another path would have worked as well or better. the reframe-narrative coach path. Who knows? Does it matter? Maybe it would work better from here... It's your path. Glad you found value though as your OYS played a part in congealing these thoughts.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/21 01:37 AM
3

I was part of that convo at first but stopped following it so thanks for pointing that out. The one I linked from /u/nowenterthearena and this one you linked from /u/anchient_resistance plus some of my own things are what prompted me to write this. I thought you might take notice as it is along some of the lines I have learned from what you write. Without MRP, not sure I'd have ever found the pattern...
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/21 03:39 PM
3

I am a climbing trainer and teacher now and I can spot the kids with shitty parents with ease. It just radiates out of the poor souls and even if it is only a moment that I can make them feel good about themselves, it's a little seed I hope they remember later in life. The flip side of this is that I recognize the power I have to CREATE strong narratives in my boys. I also don't really carry much negative energy for those in my past that helped create mine. They were most likely a result of livi…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/21 12:05 PM
2

I've generally been good at enforcing boundaries without emotion. I don't usually yell. I never spank unless it's a safety thing like refusing to buckle a seat belt. I think I'm okay there. Why would you spank for a safety thing? That's a teaching opportunity for you to help him think for himself, not just follow orders. Enforcing boundaries without emotion teaches him to do things to not get caught. You outlined his response to attention, keep that piece up while he learns and respects your bou…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/04/21 11:44 AM
2

Man. I love the truck section. Feels good doesn't it? Not because of her reaction but because...
/r/MarriedRedPill23/04/21 01:41 AM
3

Great section on validation seeking. It's a reprogramming on both sides, seeking and getting but what you wrote out is spot on. Hell, print it, read over what you wrote every day. Self-validation feels lonely, For a while maybe. In reality, it was lonelier looking for it and not getting it. And gay. I’ll be looking into various scents to up my game in that area. I know my wife will give me shit about it, so it will definitely be an interesting application of Dread. Nice little CC.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/21 04:10 PM
3

In the space of a split second, I understood my reluctance to move forward, in everything. My reluctance to change of any kind. I said last week there was something for you to look at. You told me yesterday you weren't sure what it was... and I'm saying goodbye but I'm also saying hello in the same instant. To something new, better, stronger. That idea, that new things can be good, and in fact I can make good new things happen with enough work...that's surprisingly foreign to me, You may have an…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/21 11:58 AM
3

My life's missions are to... build upon or start a relationship with value. All of the sidebar readings would let you in on the fallacy of this piece of your mission. (The rest is flawed too, but...) So, before you get rule 9'd... This OYS is all about her. She is your mission right now. The rest of your mission is all external too and you are not close to being self validating. ...YOU are your mission right now if you are going to walk this path.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/21 11:54 AM
3

I realized in my journey out of beta hell when I got as angry as you seem in this reply, there was something there for me to look at. I remember that whole exchange a long time ago with MITW and Horns and you threw a tantrum like an emotional teenage girl... and then you pulled yourself together and got to work. Sometimes I think you fuckers are more retarded than I am, and I'm medically autistic. Here we are again.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/04/21 11:23 AM
2

I'm still growing up the scared/frustrated/immature kid inside me. Two ways to go about moving on... Philosophize in your head for 47 weeks about why and how so you can figure it out so you can grow up. Grow up and revisit as a grown man. Acta. We all have our baggage dude. Every last fucking person here. You are better than this.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/04/21 11:04 AM
2

I know a lot of why my kids act out is because I don't give them quality time as often as they need. most of the time I avoid them in one way or another. I can give them more than I am, I'm just holding back for some reason. Sometimes you are so deep in your head that you get nowhere but I still read your OYSs. But this part is just shit, man. You said you can do better. Can you? Do you want to? It is a fact that you have four kids looking for a captain. How does that fit in your mission?
/r/MarriedRedPill15/04/21 08:41 PM
5

She is showing signs in daycare that she cannot deal with sharing and lashes out at other kids for their toys. Needs motivate behavior... I will start artificially creating sharing scenarios and give her small tasks to teach her that you often have to do things because they simply need to be done regardless of your wants. Waste of time. Kids respond to what they observe, not what you say and this is her reality... Wife is completely addicted to her phone, to the point that my daughter is jealous…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/21 10:04 AM
1

I still care what my wife thinks and what others think about the actions I am taking. I am still neck deep in one giant covert contract - if I keep doing this stuff and improving, I am going to get sex, people will respect me, I will get more, etc. I find myself when making decisions having visions of how impressed people will be with me rather than how good I will feel. This is deep seeded stuff within my psyche. I dont know man, all this reads like "I don't like myself, if my wife and others a…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/21 09:48 AM
6

Her requests starts politely with “please” but I find myself often negotiating through polite but outrageous requests like candy for breakfast. After I say no and explain why, she goes from requesting, to imposing, to compelling and demanding her will. It should not go past no and a simple explanation - if needed. You are the one letting it go on. You don't negotiate with a 4 year old.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/21 03:48 PM
1

My long-term mission is to make a positive impact on the world and set my children on a path so that they are able to do the same thing. Lost my shit BADLY on Saturday morning with the kids. I get so sick of seeing this here. This is week number two of you losing your shit on your kids. With your long term mission stated as it is, you may want to focus only on ending this stupid shit. You only have one time around with them, CAPTAIN.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/21 03:40 PM
4

I didn’t really mean I was looking to “share my gifts with the world" As one of our favorite Sage's around here says - your words betray you. You said, "I've been so focused on becoming a better person but what does it matter if I'm not sharing it with other people." That doesn't sound like being more present, that's sounds more like you want to do something so you can feel validated by outside sources for the work you're doing. I'm telling you, as you improve personally, over time, people will …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/04/21 11:45 AM
3

I’ve been so focused on becoming a better person, but what does it matter if I’m not sharing that with other people? Because Batman complex. I read the last few of your OYS's and they were about your stagnated marriage and lack of response from your wife, lack of mission but most importantly, still looking for things outside of your control for validation. You're still unsettled and constantly looking for "things" to settle you. Last week it was your wife, this week its sharing your gifts with t…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/21 12:23 PM
1

My only complain is her weight. We are together since we were 20y and don’t expect that she keeps the same body over the years, but she gained 40 pounds in last 12 years and it bothers me a lot. Let's see if I can see why. Actually, I'll let you... From september 2020, when I started lifting again, to january 2021, Sometimes I go through periods of mental instability, need to have more focus and concentration on work and beat my procrastination tendencies. Internet browsing is not good to my men…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/04/21 09:50 PM
5

I bluntly asked if she wanted to ‘fuck’ (instead of meekly looking for validation and gently saying ‘make love’) That was very nice of you to ask. That was about 2 months ago. Read most of the side bar along with MMSLP, Rational Male, NMMNG and now onto Unplugged Alpha. You did not read most of the sidebar in two months. If you did, you internalized just enough to try to be a larping PUA. Right now, you are a C level exec who switched from validation seeking sex from mommy to validation seeking …
/r/MarriedRedPill02/04/21 11:21 AM
4

I got into my car, drove to my office (pretty nearby), entered the empty building and just started screaming. This was fun to read and a really great outlet - healthy. I have a wood burning fireplace and used to split wood with a maul until my arms couldn't move. It seems most anger is wrapped around fear - fear of things outside of our control. So we try to manipulate or control to a desired outcome. Sometimes it works, but most of the time it doesn't. Then the anger in response. Nice guy shit.…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/03/21 11:34 AM
1

Great response here, BTW. Great model...I'll be interested in seeing how this plays out in your OYS's...
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/21 01:14 PM
1

Fear of success, fear of rejection, fear of lacking or losing external validation, and fear of losing my wife/family. I remember your first OYS. I didn't think you would follow thru. You were even afraid to lift in the evening. Fear sucks shit and it will never go away, but it can lose its power over time. MRP really helped me change my investments from uncontrollable externals to habits and decisions that I can actually control.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/03/21 11:49 AM
1

I’m beginning to understand how genuine attention or lack thereof leads to behavioral issues. ...along with, "having boundaries and expectations or lack thereof also leads to behavior issues." Genuine time, attention and praise creates the bond and boundaries and expectations creates the respect. Conistency in both is the sweet spot. Gotta have both.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/21 09:55 PM
1

Mission: Defeat the fear within. Fear of/about...?
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/21 06:36 PM
2

Trading notes... As far as her true need goes, I haven’t figured it out yet. I believe kids (3ish to 12ish) want/need the same things... (not unlike women...) Belonging, authentic time and attention, emotional and physical safety and consistency. I've found that over the years, if these things are in place all of the other "issues" were much easier to work through. They just have to respect you and 100% know you are in their corner. This is where yelling, spanking and being reactive falls apart.…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/21 03:36 PM
1

After a meeting with the school, I learned the tantrums are usually happening during transitions from one activity to the other. The more my daughter is forced to comply, the more likely the tantrum turns into, screaming, hitting, etc. Needs motivate behavior. I'm curious to her need. (Barring a behavior disorder) Since then, I’ve educated myself more on child development and how to listen to children without making them feel unheard, as well as how to enforce discipline without spanking. I’ve s…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/21 01:55 AM
2

About the cleaning and Rian's words... Notice that Rian used the words High Value Male in his guidance. That's the key piece. You're not misapplying this. Don't address this with words. If you consistently display low value behaviors in other areas of life or are just simply a LVM, you'll keep cleaning forever. You become much more HV, she'll most likely follow. This is OYS #2. Time. I've noticed our bed was never made about a month or so ago. Never said a word. I started making it before work e…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/03/21 12:08 PM
2

She got this medical condition that her vagina gets infected really easily after one intercourse. Hmmm. I wonder why... I have man-boobs now But I know I am a faggot, I am mentally weak as fuck. I DEER to cover my ass. The problem is that I don't get to fuck as frequent as I want. She said her condition is putting a lot of mental tax on her side that she cannot really enjoy sex without thinking about the consequences. Her solution: I feel like she is using the fact that I can fuck other women as…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/03/21 03:29 PM
2

I do not want memories of me being an abrasive and a borderline abusive father. Slight nuance to think about. "I don't want to be an abrasive and borderline abusive father." This makes it about you, not their perception of you. I hate to hear them cry, but it's for their own good (and mine). This will bother you so much less when they know you are really on their side. I can punish/redirect and be playing with them directly after because they understand the why rather than them just feeling that…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/21 03:28 PM
2

"Is all change and improvement just role playing until you don the mantle?" You know, the dancing monkey program does suck - in the long haul. But you gotta start somewhere. Problem is, many guys just keep dancing. Career beta's that decide to do something about it dance until a wall is hit. A wall of really what's keeping them from AUTHENTIC progress. That wall is different for everyone. You found yours in the last two OYS's. I realized after that moment of being “saved”, I had never loved myse…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/21 01:52 PM
4

I’m learning becoming acta non verba and setting proper boundaries with my kids. How is the spanking, yelling, lashing out going you detailed in January? This sounds like progress...interested in your steps to take care of this.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/03/21 01:39 PM
2

Yep
/r/MarriedRedPill11/03/21 12:38 AM
3

(although there's a bit of me that's having a tantrum at having to give up my expectations of how my wife should behave It's more than a bit of you. But, I get it. How hot is a woman that is DTF, submissive, and eager to please all the time. Especially when all the vets here have it and you don't. As enticing as it is, it's not the goal. Deep down, she does not want to be your mission - and she can feelz that. also fear as to whether I'll manage it). Fear. It's always fear. Trust the process.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/03/21 12:15 PM
10

Here are some things at your stage that helped me progress forward from your position. You are still looking at externals for markers of progress. /u/hack3ge: You lift like a bitch. "Fuck you" I thought. There is a reason lifting is necessary and it's not so you look awesome so your wife/women will fall over themselves to fuck you. It sets a discipline of tracking personal progress. Helps you walk in more of a sense of confidence and focused masculine energy. Lifting heavy weights is not optiona…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/03/21 12:55 PM
2

So, I pointed out how racked in fear you are. Horns painted a clear picture for you. Then you did a little something. /u/hornsofapathy gave you a slight atta boy with more you think about. /u/weakandsensitive gave you his less than congratulatory take. This is where the rubber meets the road, man. OYS #18. Save this one. You stepped out of your cozy little cage, with your wife and in your OYS. You can go back in and lie to yourself where it's nice and warm or you can battle your ego and really b…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/21 02:21 PM
5

My bicep or forearm tendon is sore at the elbow. At the crook where it folds. I've googled it and can't tell what it is that I've strained/pulled. May be golfers elbow. Happened to me during lockdown when I did constant pull ups since gym was closed. So I’m waiting until I’m REALLY wanting it, which will help with the validation seeking vs desire, and then ask for it. This is what it looks like to rationalize fear. I've not followed your posts as much but you are all over the place in fear and a…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/03/21 07:17 PM
1

Going to 2nd this. You can 100% lead this. Almost every night, I lay out what I want her to wear. The nights that I don't, she chooses something she knows I like, and asks if it's ok.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/03/21 05:20 PM
1

Submit (peitho) to the best of my understanding, means to be persuaded by or yield to. I can't do this if I can't trust. I only have my mind made up that there is definitely no non negotiable command to go to church - you lost me there. Way too legalistic. I've not made up my mind that I'm not going. I actually want to, I just pick up all of the bp undertones that were not helpful to me over the years and it is a struggle. I'm hoping to find a place a little further from feminized church after t…
/r/askRPC27/02/21 12:19 PM
1

In the last 30 years - Vineyard, then two Community churches (which both had Baptist roots). Nothing for the last year besides visiting a couple of community churches.
/r/askRPC27/02/21 04:40 AM
2

How YOU live your YOUR life is going to be most impactful on them. That's one of the big things like in Deuteronomy 6 - It's up to parents to teach their kids. Yes. This is where I land as they know where I am in terms of faith. It is my culture and model at home. The lockdown came at a fortunate time and is still in full force where I live. There is no appearance on the outside of the struggle I have with church specifally. I trust that I will figure this out over time and find a place but the …
/r/askRPC26/02/21 12:05 PM
1

My post wasn't to argue a point. I'm not interested. But, not one of those verses command or require going to church. Hebrews 10:25, the classic one includes the greek "ekklesia." Ekklesia is something we are, not somewhere we go. We are "called out" - Ekklesia. Each one of us IS the church. So this verse would be saying don't forsake meeting with yourself as is the custom of some. This verse translated literally is, "Don't forsake our gathering to Jesus at His coming as is the custom of some." …
/r/askRPC26/02/21 11:53 AM
2

Thank you for the reply
/r/askRPC25/02/21 11:46 PM
2

commanded by God and not optional. Where? I understand and enjoy my christian friends but I am unsure about a non optional command to go to church
/r/askRPC25/02/21 11:46 PM
1

Finding things to do, upgrading my appearance, finishing house projects and such. All of this is fine, but it is all external and the words "and such" sounds lazy and vague. You are not focused on anything. To be a role model The best role models are ones who are not trying to be role models. They just are because they operate from their inner compass and authenticity. From a place of masculine energy. The role model piece is a by product of operating out of that core. To be confident in myself …
/r/MarriedRedPill11/02/21 01:46 PM
4

Reading - Book of Pook, The Game, MRP Sidebar. Completed - NMMNG, MMSP, MAP, WISNIFG, The Way of the Superior Man, The Rational Male Vol 1 & 2, Dating Essentials for Men. That is a lot of reading yet... Anyways my home life is now a constant battle for frame and trying to pass Shit Tests. Social – No social network. I’m introverted and she is not. But hating that they are seeing and listening to the emotion destruction my wife and I are having. All the classic signs of knowing and learning witho…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/02/21 01:46 PM
3

I have an intense need to control. Recognizing this is the first step to cutting ties to outcomes. /u/alfalfasprout is right on in his reply concerning STFU. Cutting ties to outcomes is the foundation of frame and leads to a lot of personal freedom. In my early, autistic state I used to tell myself, "Everything around me is just data. I'll treat it as such." I still do to an extent. This helped me not be so reactive to things around me. I have to change myself and they will respond accordingly. …
/r/MarriedRedPill30/01/21 12:10 AM
1

Squat: Pyramid of 3 reps, from 135 to 315 for a total of 9 sets. Then I dropped to 245 and did 5 sets of 5. Then I hit the leg press, lunges, ham curls, straight leg deadlifts and calves. Damn. Impressive.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/21 03:13 AM
5

Good to see you honored the first week of your commitment. ""This is good because I want to start solving my own problems and be her rock.""" Subtle difference here, "This is good because I want to start solving my own problems and become an oak. She can benefit from this." This subtle difference begins the path of living from your own mental point of origin.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/21 07:14 PM
2

"Spanking and beatings were the norm when I was a child" Kind of the same here. "The problem I'm working on isn't about expectations or boundaries, though it is related, this is more about how I react and deal with problems and handle conflict." But if you have some clear expectations and boundaries, dealing with problems and conflict within those should not be hard. Outside of them, sure but you can grow in those. How you do this now will have huge implications or large dividends in the future.…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/01/21 02:44 PM
2

One of your goals was lift. Next TUESDAY, make sure your lifts are written down and posted. Even if they suck. Then track them. This is the first order of discipline for you. Lays a foundation to get disciplined in areas important to you. Then there will be less "I need to," "I want to," "I will..."
/r/MarriedRedPill16/01/21 02:24 PM
4

There is a lot to unpack here but... "I'm back after a long, meditative hiatus." Translated, "I haven't done anything since my last OYS last September. I like to read and think, but not actually do." Your third near term goal could possibly include OYS every week for X weeks but I don't think you're serious yet...
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/21 02:22 PM
7

"I haven’t had to spank my kids in weeks." Keep this focus and this will turn into "I no longer spank my kids" which will eventually not even be a thought. With a capable captain/role model/leader kids want to please and want your authentic time and attention. Calm, enforce boundaries, calm time outs that you follow through with and invested time and attention. No need to ever spank or yell. Think 'fun and inviting frame with expectations and boundaries.' Do you have expectations and boundaries?…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/21 01:24 PM
1

"That said, I've got cognitive dissonance around this because ultimately I don't want to be unfaithful (oneitis), but it isn’t consistent with my faith." You just stuck your toe into a very deep rabbit hole... Over time, a couple years as HOA just mentilned, but I think you'll figure it out...
/r/MarriedRedPill12/01/21 11:47 PM
3

Read over your OYS objectively, then your reply to weak, then to me. You take responsibility, then blame your wife. You blame 3 kids. You initiate like a woman and blame her for not getting into it. You DEER to me... I've not followed you much. It's cool that you're skiing on your own but you haven't yet moved into a space where you aren't trying to get reactions from her and from others for what you're doing. Hopefully you'll get there...
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/20 12:04 AM
2

"I see this as the value in sticking to the basics - lift, read (with application), and STFU." ...which have nothing to do with her, right now.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/20 01:54 PM
3

"I know I need to find more shit to do outside the house and turn her down when she seems starfishy. This is a huge change but I’m more confident and truly O/I and not butthurt." Dance, monkey. Dance. This is bullshit and you know it. Everything you are doing is for her - even MRP, but not for you. If she is starfishy, ramp it up, don't chat about kids. If you can get to "being" rather than just doing, you'll see some changes. (Well, I just outlined a nice covert contract for you though, didn't …
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/20 12:41 PM
2

"But I am finding it difficult to rectify this with “she doesn’t matter.” Is it that she doesn’t matter (her irrational reactions do not matter) when it comes to your reasons for doing stuff - but she matters as a member of the family that I am trying to lead to greatness? But this also is not my motivation. My motivation is improving myself and part of that is, of course, my role in the family." This is all a fine line. "She doesn't matter" is helpful in getting out of her head and out of her f…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/12/20 02:41 PM
2

She is definitely not my mission. I just wanted to log these thoughts. These few areas are what have surfaced this week in my journey. They all boil down to me. Abundance mentality, being (or continuing to work on becoming) the prize, fear and outcome independence.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/12/20 02:23 PM
2

Because it's an area I want to lead her to, and it''s in there. She's capable. I've brought a lot out of her but there's more...
/r/MarriedRedPill09/12/20 02:53 AM
7

OYS #? – Diary entry Stats: 52, wife 50. Four kids – 20, 18, 14, 12. 5’7 162 lbs. All 5x5 – Squat 195, bench 150, rows 135, deadlift 165, O.P. 100. (Started SL 5x5 from scratch when gyms reopened). Talked an out of shape friend in joining me, so I started over. Some because of lost gains during lockdown, some for correcting form after being a Rambo lifter early in my journey, some to not be too far ahead of him. All were good choices as my form feels good, consistency is good and he has stayed c…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/20 04:47 PM
1

"Been knocking out the Rational Male, but I have to admit, that Hypergamy chapter really got me low. I mean, I understood how hypergamy worked, but I guess I never really truly swallowed it until I read that chapter last night. I prayed to God to make me more mission minded to take awaythat sting that the truth holds. Ever since I was young, all I wanted was that true love. Don't get me wrong, I forfeited the ideas of soulmates long ago, it still stings to hear that a woman simply cannot love a …
/r/RPChristians25/11/20 08:07 PM
2

"Went pretty well, then this: “Other men make me feel better about myself than you do” and “you should just get a girlfriend.” Side note: I responded with “sweet. I’ll go download tinder.” But am I wrong to equate these statements with ILYBINILWY?" "Had sex twice over the weekend after my return. Sex is better now..." Watch what they do, not what they say... Sounds like comfort tests without more context but then again, you are only OYS #4 after your first crazy shit show. I made the mistake of …
/r/MarriedRedPill19/11/20 05:28 PM
2

So you can at least learn this week that telling your wife you need sex is off limits. That version of you will pass. Either sit in the shit feeling of fear, feel it and learn from it or initiate like a man. Keep up the lifts. Gotta start somewhere.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/11/20 01:22 PM
5

"How did you break through the religious stuff?" /u/2wo2wo3hree gave you a much more colorful reply than I could have. I never "broke through" religious stuff. If you are talking biblical stuff, there is not much you'll find in married sexual strategy here that is not biblical. It's not real popular here but I am committed to my faith (Christ) so I didnt "break through" anything, it all aligns... I'm congruent and she can feel through that. That being said, doing the work and becoming a more out…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/11/20 04:13 PM
3

Action. You took action and started. Wondered if you would. "I know what we once had. I want it back." That's fine but this is about you. Not her, not "us." You. "too often I blow up or victim puke as she seems to know the perfect buttons to push to illicit an emotional response." She's a woman and this is her looking for a man. It's a gift. I looked at your reading and WISNIFG is next. Learn to fog and negative assert/inquire. Victim puking is highly unattractive, let alone gay. The highly reli…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/11/20 04:08 AM
2

"and I know comfort is the name of the game this week" Yours or hers? "I couldn't sleep, woke her up at 2 am, told her I need sex" Just plain gay...
/r/MarriedRedPill17/11/20 07:48 PM
5

"Noticing my patience with the kids have been in short supply lately. Are there any parenting books you guys can recommend? There are a lot on Amazon/Audible but most seem to be either too liberal or too christian for my taste." Parenting books are about the same as relationship books. This question has more to do with YOU than "parenting." You said yourself in your mental section that you don't know what you want. If you don't know what you want...
/r/MarriedRedPill17/11/20 01:20 PM
2

"Because it’s all the same answers that I’ve been reading about over the past year.. I was just too chickenshit to conceptionalize it on my own." No, you were just too checkenshit to take action. You're conceptualizing just fine. "Maybe it’s time" Maybe. Maybe is fear. I'll look for you on Tuesday.
/r/askMRP15/11/20 05:54 PM
4

Your question looks nearly exactly what mine would have looked like nearly two years ago - including the "religious" baggage. You have been given some great feedback. The things I know now and the way I operate could not have been put into words and simple answers, because how I operate now is a result of doing the work. I like what /u/rocknrollchuck said "You build yourself into a man who naturally has abundance because he is attractive. He's right and it takes action. Sustained action. You cam…
/r/askMRP15/11/20 02:49 PM
3

"MY PLAN: My mission is to become a strong and reliable person, for my partner, workmates and family. I want to lead the people in my life to a better place" MY PLAN: My mission is to become a strong and reliable person. FTFY.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/11/20 04:22 PM
2

"Got some really good feedback/motivation/ perspective from my first OYS, including getting banned. I realized I wasn’t doing any red pill. I was just reading and analyzing and taking no action at all, especially not being introspective. Kind of pissed at myself that it took a kick in the ass from internet strangers to get off my ass, but thanks." Which is why OYSing every week is so important. I wandered if you'd be back. Reading and analyzing without action is a capitulation to fear and ego. "…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/11/20 01:09 PM
1

"Yell at my kids unnecessarily." Weak. Just faggot weak...
/r/MarriedRedPill01/11/20 04:31 PM
3

"My son continues to test boundaries to see what he can get away with at my place and my wife’s place. He ends up with a lot of time-outs at my place and more yelling from me than I would like." You yell, they win. "It sounds like she just ignores him and lets him do whatever so it is fully up to me to keep him growing and disciplined." Not by yelling. What's your plan?
/r/MarriedRedPill29/10/20 02:18 AM
4

"I can probably generate those feels by taking the kids to do stuff without her." Man, this is going to sound like a CC. Taking the kids without her does not generate feelz. Doing your own thing does. And yes, you can have a life outside the family and kids and still be invested and present.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/10/20 06:38 PM
2

I would read things like what you just said, and my ego would tell me I was there to be that leader. Nope. It has been slow pace. One day, one victory and multiple failures at a time.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/10/20 12:48 PM
3

"I still shout at my kids and lose my temper at things I shouldn’t." Weak. Just gay ass weak.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/10/20 11:35 AM
2

""and I'm not been disciplined or motivated enough to give my wife the same attention and praise as the kids. Nor have I taken initiative on leading in a "romantic" sense"" I remember you being called a retard last week and I couldn't stop laughing. Good that you're on your third OYS. Some people take a year to do 3. That makes you at least a little less retarded. This is a good post but you need to include your age and what you are reading. Are you reading anything? It's also mostly about her b…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/10/20 11:19 AM
4

He is flooded with testosterone whereas my younger two are not. It's mostly in tone as a man relating to a man, rather than teaching/praising younger boys. He is also at an age where I have been able to explain red pill truths and he sees the matrix. That backdrop alone changes the praise/encouragement dynamic.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/10/20 08:42 PM
2

Of course you do. But not this week, right? I would love to see next week's OYS stating your lifts that were completed IN THE EVENING. Would also like to see that you purchased the gun - you have the money.... These are steps FOR YOU that NMMNG goes into. Two small things of action...
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/20 02:41 PM
1

Holy shit. Go to the gym three nights a week starting this week. Seriously, like your life depends on it. This gives you one thing to leave the house to do. Not so sure you need to meditate at this time to get out of your head, get the gun this week. Go shoot. Get busy, you need action. Dont try to discern between shit and comfort tests right now. They're shit tests. Dont stop OYS'ing. So many do 1 and leave. Your reading is good, recognition of the matrix is good but little execution.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/20 01:15 PM
2

"Sex: I initiated again this past weekend by saying "I'm going to put the boy down, when I come out I want you in the bedroom waiting for me and gave her a kiss". This is not initiating. It's good you expressed your intention but at your point, it's far better to initiate by action and confidence, not words. You set yourself up here. Quitting smoking was one of the single best decisions of my life years ago. I wasn't even slightly red pilled at the time but was just over it. You can be stronger …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/20 11:47 AM
2

This is one of the funniest comments I have read in a long time. /u/deep_strength is right on. My wife 'didn't care' either until I got in shape. Funny how her hands are on my arms and chest so much more now. Defined muscles alone have a way of increasing an emotional connection for women. Wait, my reading, study, and strength/discipline to grow and lead has increased since I've disciplined myself to lift. Those aren't related to my relationship with God are they? Oh, these special snowflakes...
/r/RPChristians18/10/20 05:41 PM
3

"I've been lifting already 6 times per week from when gyms opened again after quarantine mate, the consistency problem is long term, ive been lifting already for most part of my life." Then list your stats. "I read already a good 50% of the books in the side bar, and im still doing it." You're either lying or you read without any action - or both. "About commenting on other subs just mind your own shit mate." I'll help you rephrase what you typed - "My ego is intact and I'm not ready to learn or…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/10/20 05:40 PM
3

Nice check in. And that's all this is. Nearly a waste of time. No stats, no reading, no lifts and "your plan" has so much it will paralyze you. You said you lack consistency, so list ONE plan you can follow through - get a gym membership or lift three times this week. Then OYS next week and add ONE more - "Read X" Another good one is to stop giving relationship advice on other subs. What a joke.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/10/20 11:07 AM
1

"She and I had a discussion about 6 months in where she expressed that she feels like I'm doing all of these interesting things and accomplishing so much, that she feels left behind. So, it wasn't an overwhelming attraction to that guy, it was more of an "I don't want that guy, I want my dad"...it would seem. It didn't prompt anything other than feelings of inadequacy in her. No sexual flirtation or advances, no indications of anything other than discomfort." You are getting a lot of input that …
/r/RPChristians17/10/20 10:00 AM
1

"I have done the work-on-yourself-and-she'll-want-you. It was very exciting and fun, but didn't result in her wanting me. It really only resulted in more resentment that I'm doing all of these things without her." I am curious as to how long this time frame was? I am also curious as to whether you did this work on yourself for you, or for her. There is a big difference. My guess it was not real long (3-6 months or less?) and for her. When you didn't see results FROM HER, you quit. Am I right or …
/r/RPChristians16/10/20 05:46 PM
3

"Main problem is that I need a mission and need to stick to it." First, who cares what anyone here thinks about running. Just keep lifting too. You're right, this OYS is full of indecisiveness but it's honest. I question your reading list. Unless you read without taking any action, which I suspect. If you had put into action a lot of what you detail would be on the road to fixing. You want a mission to stick to, for right now? Your's is fairly easy. Lift (run), STFU, and read the sidebar. OYS ev…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/10/20 04:17 PM
3

"The key is to be clear about expectations for marriage up front." Not necessarily. If you as a husband take your foot off the gas for too long it can make things very difficult regardless of what she agreed to. Conversely, if you have been a BP beta for a long while and get your s*** together (for yourself) theres a good chance she'll climb on the train... ...and I'm no longer puzzled at the arguing and difficulty in Christian marriages because church men are literally bred to be supplicating, …
/r/RPChristians09/10/20 03:22 PM
8

Please read that reply back to yourself out loud a few times... I don't know you and am not on RPC as much but are you new to RP concepts? This is a sub 100 question. That being said, I had a submissive woman who had little to submit to. I got my s*** together for the last couple of years and now she has chosen to follow my lead - defer willingly - submit. It's natural and how it should be and I would not want anything different.
/r/RPChristians08/10/20 03:52 PM
66

Accidentally deleted my post :). You don't "just find" a submissive woman. That is a byproduct of being a man worth following and leadership. Time to read all of the sidebar and work...
/r/RPChristians08/10/20 03:34 PM
1

These are many of my passions. Especially surfing by far. I like to skurf with my board too. And you're right, the "communities" aren't really there, unless you meet like mindeds in church, work or some other general gathering. I've recruited/taught good friends to make my own. Also, I know you know to initiate outside of her attempt at scheduling... :)
/r/MarriedRedPill08/10/20 03:05 PM
1

I assume you surf now? Or is it something you want to learn... Do you have a little saltwater boating experience already also?
/r/MarriedRedPill08/10/20 12:22 PM
1

I'm well versed in MBTI. It can be easy to use "introvert" as a crutch because that's your type. An ego protective narrative to avoid fear or uncomfortable situations. Only you can know. Can you retreat to yourself another time if so? I'm an extrovert. I have had to get comfortable being with me. I used to avoid myself...
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/20 02:17 PM
2

"I have been slacking off with initiating sex lately. Partly because a fear of rejection" "I went down to the shore for lunch instead of eating with the clients for instance. Alone with a tuna chipotle salad on a very nice beach though. Not bad." See any similarities here?
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/20 11:58 AM
1

So think about what actions you can take to get out of her head. On the relationship side of my RP journey, this was one of the most important pieces-to give her my masculine energy while at the same time ending the need for validation sex. And that is what you are not getting-validation from her. Neither of these will happen until you can out of her head. You have four very young kids, you have no idea what all is in her head. I learned over time that not as much was about me as I thought. Reme…
/r/RPChristians05/10/20 03:57 PM
3

Try kettlebells instead of plates.
/r/askMRP04/10/20 11:54 AM
1

"Sex is happening 2-3 times per week, but I can’t shake the feeling it’s to get me to leave her alone more often than not. I’d say it was great sex once in the last two weeks. I have a history of being grumpy and depressed and taking it out on her. I get frustrated when my efforts to improve are not immediately met with praise. Before the weekend hit, I was doing a better job of taking care of myself and not relying on covert contracts to try to get what I want." So, part of your journey is to w…
/r/RPChristians03/10/20 03:16 PM
3

...maybe she is bored with you. Who has the most influence in her having genuine desire? Can she feed of it from you or are you holding back out of fear? Maybe you're looking for too much validation as MITW pointed out, maybe you're not attractive enough or maybe she has little to respond to because you are timid and afraid of rejection... Genuine desire is a response.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/09/20 04:03 AM
2

I owe you $10.00.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/09/20 11:32 AM
2

Your "General Observations" section is very good. I read back over your previous OYS's and /u/inchargeman and /u/blarg_risen really busted your ass right out of the gate.. Many would quit after that but you've OYS'd every week so you do have that. It's easy to let those observations paralyze you and your progress. Don't let that happen. It's good to notice them but you need to TRUST THE PROCESS. You are working your way out of those mindsets (lack of abundance, oneitis, fear...) a day and week a…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/09/20 11:40 AM
1

There's hardly anything here. No personal stats either. Age, height, weight... Your mindset section. A waste of valuable time. You are where you are regardless. Get busy on the basics of rebuilding you. Stfu, lift constantly and read starting from the beginning. As you progress like a man, you can revisit your past but just get busy for now. $10.00 says this is your only OYS...
/r/MarriedRedPill24/09/20 11:25 AM
2

Good 1st OYS, mostly, but no one cares if you were popular in high school. At least everyone here knows your ego is still alive and working. Compliance tests are a little more difficult to spot with a 4 and 1 year old. She actually may need some help. Only you can tell the difference. Most of your goals are not specific (lift 4-5 times, look in to...,practice OI, stop spending on stupid shit...). So many do 1 OYS and disappear. Your 1st goal should be to OYS every Tuesday. Yes, Tuesday, not Frid…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/09/20 12:15 PM
2

Interesting assessment. I have done much of the same. Soldier on and stay off the sidelines.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/09/20 01:44 PM
2

Why the bible journal? Honest question.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/09/20 12:22 PM
3

Man, this is OYS 1. Dont make goals for a month. Make them for a week. STFU this week, lift this week, NMMNG this week and OYS next week. That's it. I stressed about mission. I ended up scrapping it and worked on me and the mission, over time, came to the surface.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/08/20 12:23 AM
1

"I know that waiting for it will make it better." That's a trap and a covert contract. Knowing how to navigate it as a man will give you the best chance at making it great. On the tattoo - I got a Celtic cross tattoo 25 years ago. Love it still.
/r/RPChristians28/05/20 11:57 AM
2

Right on... I see a lot of ego protection in your reply and your replies to all of the feedback you're getting. You'll only progress so far with that in place. I've been there. The scripture you posted is silly in this case. I can do what that scripture says while focused on improving myself and leading my wife out of her comfort zones. You're making it easy for her to avoid growth by only giving her so much to respond to and she is in control.
/r/RPChristians21/05/20 05:29 PM
2

You keep falling off the wagon because you hate yourself and you are living a life of thoughts, excuses and no action. How can you have a desire to share your faith with that mindset? This whole depressing post starts there. Set A COUPLE small goals to gain traction. Lifting goals are the best start, and you can do lifts that don't involve your hips. You're 140 lbs. Get busy with that. List two more and focus on those three things for now.
/r/RPChristians21/05/20 12:19 PM
2

You need to get out of the house. You are too accessible and predictable. Nothing improves sex more than being HVM (not there, you're boring), living as if she was irrelevant (not there, you're in her head), passive dread (don't have it because you work, live, lift, eat and sleep at home) and being focused on your mission. Of course, it's up to her to get on board because you cant do these things as a CC. I have 4 kids - SAHM. How bout that routine? Is that what you want? I doubt it.
/r/RPChristians21/05/20 12:03 PM
7

You've spent two weeks and a LOT of words on this situation. How much is this stroking your ego?
/r/RPChristians14/05/20 12:58 AM
2

I have so many negative church connotations. Always felt like I had be someone I wasn't. Its one of the reasons I've had a hard time engaging here. I don't like "Brother," "Praise the Lord," "Praise God," "Amen," and so on. Its not me, not how I talk. I guess it's why I clicked with Dalrocks site.
/r/RPChristians15/04/20 12:20 PM
1

Ok. That is a good start and your introduction is good. You sound like you're ready to learn. Good on not giving up because the gym is closed, it will become your friend. I put off lifting for too long early in my journey because I ego protected that I was already in good shape because I surf. Lift. It gives you momentum. Commit to OYS, commit to OYS, commit to OYS. This is where you will be challenged and grow. Put yourself on notice that anger may soon set in. Take it out on the weights and he…
/r/RPChristians23/03/20 10:17 PM
1

For context, what exactly have you read? Did you read a lot of MRP posts also? Your story is somewhat close to mine...
/r/RPChristians23/03/20 09:52 PM
1

You've read the majority of the sidebar in three weeks? What exactly have you read?
/r/RPChristians23/03/20 09:35 PM
7

I guess this post goes to show a mans rationalization hamster can be as strong as a woman's. I have learned and grown a lot from MRP but this post is the most disappointing I have ever read here. True horse shit. If you want an open marriage and both agree, fine. I get it, but it's weak as hell to keep it in the dark and intentionally fuck up someone's world so you can be living in your purely selfish "mental point of origin." I have a daughter who I hope finds a red pill man, and boys who are l…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/03/20 09:47 PM
2

"I wish I were a better writer/communicator..." Same here but man, this is a GREAT synopsis. Great work. This post is what ego deconstruction looks like...
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/20 02:48 PM
1

As /u/simerlion stated in another post "acta non verba." Took me forever to get better at this. Good that you're getting less stressed wanting to fix her feelz...
/r/MarriedRedPill11/03/20 07:39 PM
1

Wait. In your post you said, "when she does something offensive " now you said she isn't acting up at all. Which is it? Either way, I learned the use of LESS WORDS was more effective..."This (or, your tone) isn't working for me, I'm going to go to...(wherever). Then remove time and attention.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/03/20 06:39 PM
1

"Whenever she does stuff that's offensive I tell her I don't like when she acts this way, she is free to do so, but whenever she does I simply am not in the mood to be around her so I just do my own thing instead" Does that sound like a man enforcing a boundary to you?
/r/MarriedRedPill10/03/20 11:37 PM
2

"I can't improve until I understand and own all the ways I self-sabotage" Bullshit. You can focus on a couple of areas of specific improvement you know are positive and work on them before you understand everything. It gives you some momentum. At least you're constantly OYSing, now start to add some specifics you are going to do to move forward.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/03/20 04:38 PM
1

Last week I was resonating. I was hoping to see something better from you this week but it's still a whiny puke. You listed nothing you're working on, just rehashed puke. I'm still disappointed in the church too but it's no different than what the world taught you outside of the church. Everyone is trying to make sense of this world, at least they try - although misguided. I have several of my church friends who come to me for my take on life and relationships because of the changes I made. I'm …
/r/MarriedRedPill10/03/20 03:36 PM
1

Ah. Ok. Tough when the kiddos are that little. Work travel is so good for the hampster/dread but I'm tracking with ya.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/03/20 07:30 PM
1

Missed this OYS. Strong progress, good read. What do you mean 80 -100% travel? 100%, as in you move away? How much travel in real time in a year?
/r/MarriedRedPill07/03/20 11:22 AM
3

"She can make the point difference in bed" Best line in your OYS
/r/MarriedRedPill05/03/20 02:44 AM
6

"I'm gonna do this for the first time ever" And probably the last. Use the format. You just wasted 45 seconds of my life I won't get back.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/03/20 01:38 AM
2

I was/am a Christian for 30 years now. Walking. The whole deal. No red pill anything til TRM a year ago. I've read what you wrote here and on MRP and I think you are right, but underestimating those feelings of anger. Man, it was bad for me. I went to church 4 times in a year and left twice early. I couldn't be around them if I wanted to. To say don't disassociate-I had to. I had to let those feelings flow through me. To say it was pointless was trivializing. I resonated with that guy. It has ta…
/r/RPChristians05/03/20 01:25 AM
1

So is your idea to lead her to make a choice to accept you having a plate(s) or keeping that information from her? Which of those options is fully authentic?
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/20 03:58 PM
2

Been following your OYS's. Not sure of your religion. I'm a Christian. I went through this anger to the extent you did. Every bit. I am at a point where I'm deconstructing/reconstructing my faith. The church... groupthink...Lost. My creator? Haven't given that up. The anger subsides. Be patient. Don't Rambo.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/20 12:58 AM
2

Your plate... how congruent is this in your overall mission? Last week you said you felt guilty about it. Not moralizing, just asking. You want to lead your wife...
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/20 12:45 AM
7

Not a fan of shortcuts. Do your own search, build your own bible
/r/MarriedRedPill29/02/20 10:29 PM
3

I print what I feel are the most important posts here and am compiling my MRP "bible." This goes in. Between /u/hornsofapathy epic test (and the comments contained) and then this, I've been able to add more. This post should be only able to be opened by those who've been at it for a year or so, as it would have made me think I found a shortcut. In my final one year OYS, I outlined that I red pilled my wife. (Not every little thing, there has to be some mystery). But, FOR US, it was time. But as …
/r/MarriedRedPill29/02/20 12:10 PM
4

"If average BP noob tried to follow me around for a week then copy me in his own life he would go down in a blaze of glory, because he isn't there yet, hasn't earned it, doesn't have the frame to pull it off." Unfortunately, this was me early on after your story. My ego told me otherwise, that I was awesome, I had the frame to pull it off. Luckily I OYS'd and was ultimately called out before doing anything stupid. I about cried like a butthurt little girl but I took the feedback and it served me…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/02/20 12:45 PM
2

"Your woman is afraid of being vulnerable, and rightfully so" I don't like this but it is true. I am seeing as I stay OI and authentic, it's like placing a mirror in front of her. She has to make her own decision to make in that space...
/r/MarriedRedPill20/02/20 04:13 PM
2

Not a lot of advice here. Your OYS reads like my life, relationship and my week. I'm close to the same age as you, started my RP journey in Feb. 2109, and have been married for just over 20 years. Coming in this late presents so many more challenges than, say 5 or even 10 years. There is SO MUCH unfucking to do and it takes forever. There is not an anger phase, rather there are like 50 anger phases. And I've found the more I learn and read the harder it gets because YOU can begin to see what you…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/02/20 11:41 AM
1

I probably should have said you're too deep in her head to make headway on your mission. I read one thing but see you do another. I went through the same thing and would leave the house for decent periods of time. Gym, friends, hobbies. I get she's persistent but your going to be persistenter. Keep it up. Be attractive/not unattractive. Takes time.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/20 07:01 PM
1

I reread last weeks OYS. Your mission is still based on your wife and her responses. Your whole "frame" section should be titled "frameless." Your'e in her head too much. No reason she should ask you something 30 times and you snap. Answer clearly, then broken record. Don't snap (mrp 101). But you did so then the argument. Don't engage in verbal arguments. (mrp 101). So then you're not sure how to deal with it. Well, you got there, you could STFU. Or, you could tell her how cute she is when she'…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/20 11:51 AM
4

Nice DEER. You could've just wrote, "My diet is awesome. I'm awesome at work, side hustle getting awesomer, skip any work and just cheat on your wife, she'll respond awesomely. I'm awesome at picking up 25 y.o. 10's. I'm also awesome at catching side pussy but need to be a little less awesome at that. ...oh I forgot, I guess I need to STFU for some reason. I think these guys like those four letters together so I'll put it in there". If you are so awesome, move on.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/20 11:29 AM
7

Your biggest weakness isn't STFU, its your ego.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/20 12:11 AM
1

"I am having trouble with my kids, but I chalk it up to them not being able to understand completely." Not at 5 and 3. This is an excuse. Start this early and be consistent.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/02/20 12:31 PM
1

Try again. Plan for the following WEEK (not two) 1 STFU 2 STFU 3 STFU 4 Lift 5 Live every hour in reality. One hour a day is stupid. You can't even lead yourself in one hour of reality. I don't know how you've read all you listed and then do what you're doing. You're lying.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/20 02:27 PM
1

On your whole "separation" section - That behavior is not something to withdraw, STFU or worry about being butthurt. By your actions, you encouraging her to keep it up. 'That which you allow, you condone." Make it clear you will not tolerate disrespect. Without acting like a butthurt baby, tell her you won't tolerate it and you'll be back later. Leave for a while. Work out, visit a friend, go have a drink...
/r/MarriedRedPill22/01/20 12:26 PM
1

What OYS# is this? This is full of potential covert contracts.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/20 01:43 AM
3

"I've been running the dancing monkey improvement program for almost a year now" You still are. "I need to" "I still" "I've not owned" "Should be" "I allow" "I think...."
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/20 01:25 AM
7

"Yep this shit is done to death and J10 & the mods said it better but fuck you, because this is my OYS post" Nice self-deprecation and ego protection. Solid post, you're doing the work.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/20 12:22 PM
1

The whole sidebar pertains to this. You're looking for a quick fix, there isn't one. She's married to a faggot with no spine. You don't grow a spine in a day or two. The answer to every question is on the sidebar. Start at the beginning all the way to the end, read OYS and keep yourself accountable. Do that and by next Christmas you'll see change - IN YOU. She'll either respond or not.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/01/20 12:32 PM
1

You made it this far. Go to the sidebar. It's all there. Read/re-read everything top to bottom. And don't be gay, OYS every week. Take your lumps and learn. After a year you should know not to verbally engage in an argument and to initiate. That alone tells me you haven't internalized anything yet.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/01/20 04:45 PM
2

This is a terrible post. "We bicker about the management of our household and don't communicate well" "No sexual interaction in six months" This is 101 stuff and tells me how much work you've done (none). You listed no readings. Sidebar til your eyes bleed. You have a lot of work to do.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/01/20 04:00 PM
1

Horns, looking through recipe books. Even I caught that...
/r/MarriedRedPill22/12/19 09:50 PM
1

Ok. You're doing great with three hours a day at two years old. Remember, she is by nature driven to connect with you so try to avoid being fear/guilt driven. It doesn't help. Just be present like you are.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/12/19 03:16 PM
1

You didn't give the age of the little one. How old?
/r/MarriedRedPill18/12/19 12:15 PM
1

No. Joint mission is fine. You said once you have your mission down, the rest is easy. This comes off to me like a spiritual covert contract - I get what you're trying to say but it comes off as, "Find your mission and you'll get what you want and your wife will suddenly fall in line and your sex life will go through the roof." There are a lot of things at play right now- you are re-focused, new mission, wife coming off of an EA and possibly guilt associated.... May not just be the energized mis…
/r/RPChristians16/12/19 12:40 PM
1

No, it's not. There is a lot to gain from RP principles. It may not be AS effective but certainly not useless.
/r/RPChristians16/12/19 12:29 PM
3

I look forward to reading your OYS each week on MRP. This mission is of course great but written like a covert contract. Find and live your mission, yes. 100%. But do it for you. YMMV
/r/RPChristians14/12/19 04:49 PM
2

Yes. Seven weeks of victim puking and no work. We're all faggots at the start but come on...
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/19 12:29 PM
1

You do realize that you have moaned about food and overeating in nearly every single one of your OYS posts. 7 weeks...
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/19 12:25 AM
1

Never heard of 5 Aspects. Are you doing it alone or a group? What is RP Christian handbook?
/r/MarriedRedPill03/12/19 06:36 PM
1

You didn't answer. Why are you here? Just to puke or get busy? What are you going to do?
/r/MarriedRedPill30/11/19 05:22 PM
1

Man, I appreciate the feedback. I'll remember this if/when this plays out like this again. I like your thoughts.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/11/19 04:06 AM
2

"It's an enjoyable experience to meet myself." I have thought this over and over. This is progress.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/11/19 12:12 PM
3

Do you see a correlation between the behavior of your 9 y.o. and your wife?
/r/RPChristians20/11/19 05:26 PM
1

It took me about three or four months to cross over to really doing it for me. I had to remove myself emotionally to some extent. Which wasn't really fair to her but I had to for our benefit. The progress became faster then...
/r/MarriedRedPill14/11/19 11:10 PM
1

Not necessarily. I just committed myself to STFU, kill the beta and become the best version of me I could become regardless of her thoughts or input. BUT, I never stopped loving...
/r/MarriedRedPill14/11/19 09:10 PM
2

They watch what you do, not necessarily what you say. Unless they align... then they'll listen.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/11/19 11:40 PM
2

OYS #15 STATS: Age 50. Wife 49, 4 kids. 5’7’ 153 lbs. 10 months into RP journey. EVERYTHING: This week was uneventful but I want to make sure I post as to keep the journal going. So I wanted to assess where I started, where I am and what I need to work on. I was handed The Rational Male in February of this year. It started out fun and alpha games but as the information settled in it all became very uneasy – especially “A woman is fundamentally incapable of loving a man the way a man expects to b…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/11/19 02:43 PM
7

Are you leading boys and girls or just the boys? You may get a lot more pushback than you anticipate. A lot more. All RP starts with the individual - the man. If you are working with the boys, maybe you could disciple them what it means to be a man using RP/biblical principles.Let it trickle down from there.
/r/RPChristians13/11/19 12:27 PM
3

This is not all beautiful. John Adam's was sold out for America's cause. Abigail followed but his kids were depressed and suicidal - to the point of suicide. My dad was sold for the cause of the gospel but all four kids detested church and even God to the point of drugs/alcohol and care free sex. Balance...
/r/RPChristians12/11/19 12:37 PM
1

Oh awesome. I will be using that as a resource for my three boys... All MRP without the BS...
/r/MarriedRedPill12/11/19 01:28 AM
1

Every journey is different. Lift, read, STFU and keep posting here. OYS weekly keeps you accountable to lift, read and put into practice...
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/19 05:41 PM
1

Format of post. Easier to read when labeled in sections. When I read "moving through relatively smoothly" it seemed you were avoiding the emotions. It's good to feel them, work through them - I did it in the gym, splitting wood and surfing. None of my RP anger was smooth, but my household, and wife, didn't see it. I started in February too and I liked the mouse analogy because she's done the same.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/11/19 10:33 AM
1

You're erratic. Good to see you hit the gym by yourself though. Keep that up.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/11/19 01:53 AM
1

The format on this sucks. How can you move through 2nd anger phase smoothly? No anger? Anger isn't smooth, its anger.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/11/19 01:48 AM
1

Fifth post but how long on your RP journey?
/r/MarriedRedPill07/11/19 04:12 PM
1

Altough I hear you, I do have to be careful "just listening to me." Life goes beyond me, I mean we are all hanging and spinning in space for fuck's sake. I do believe there are solid, life long principles to live and make decisions by when I take space and seek direction. I dont want my kids just listening to themselves, I want them to gain some direction from me - I feel the same about God. My life was fucked before I made a commitment to live out faith and doing it has helped me become a much …
/r/MarriedRedPill06/11/19 11:37 AM
1

Thats not why I dont post there. I really don't care about getting called out. I post here because this is where I started.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/11/19 03:12 AM
2

OYS #14 STATS: Age 50, wife 49. 4 kids – 19,17,13,11. 5’7, 153lbs. 10 months into RP journey PHYSICAL: Gave all my lift stats last week and will update a little next week. Based on a recommendation by /u/alohaMaui808, I am switching my workout closer to 5x5 because my all over gains are slower. So rather than 8,10 and 12 reps, I upped weights some and did 5 reps of five. The one thing I did notably accomplish was 5 reps of 5 squats of 155. Slowly increasing this. RELATIONSHIP: For those of you w…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/11/19 02:11 PM
2

Just read this in you book this morning! Ha.
/r/RPChristians02/11/19 01:45 PM
3

Why so short? There's nothing here...
/r/MarriedRedPill02/11/19 01:27 PM
1

I wonder where is your son learning this lack of respect? He won't learn it through taking away shit. He'll learn it through your modeling.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/11/19 11:27 AM
2

Since you asked... "I want to be with someone who doesn't threaten to drag the state into standard marital bullshit" Femine grows by praise. If you look over my post, I did not go negative except for something very specific - she can step up. You also said you've been at this for a few years now. I just have to think that if your actions were sustained it wouldn't take a few years. If the action is weak, the words won't matter as much - especially that overt.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/10/19 04:40 PM
1

I see what you're saying. I didn't think through that term, I've just been using it but not for a reaction... I'll drop the term and keep on... tnx for the observation
/r/MarriedRedPill31/10/19 11:25 AM
1

Ok. I'm following... thank you for this input.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/10/19 12:54 AM
1

Interesting you view it as such. I actually have not pushed an event, at least I dont think I have. I've been on hard mode for sure but definitely not manipulative. Not sure what you mean on keeping in shape. She's working to keep up with me at the moment. That whole see saw was my observation of her actions...
/r/MarriedRedPill31/10/19 12:50 AM
1

You know. I started with this but wanted more reps because I surf, but I am not gaining as much as I'd like. I recently lowered my reps so this a good time to revisit this. Thanks for sharing this...
/r/MarriedRedPill30/10/19 10:57 PM
1

Lifting goes a long way in helping you build confidence along the way. I resisted making time for it in the beginning. I thought and felt all the defeatist bs you are describing and weirdly, lifting helped me sort out my thoughts and anger. STFU, STFU, STFU and the gym are your friend here. The potential move to Charlotte is a great area to ask for direction and "connect" spiritually. Before you kill yourself, remember the vast majority of men dont even touch their toes in the water of self asse…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/10/19 09:46 AM
1

I guess the "cheese" is security and the route is simple needs met? She's tough because when I tell her "frequent, varied, high quality sex from genuine desire" her mind jumps to anal sex five times a day. Silly. Never been the case, it's her worse case scenario, fear of failure mind. So, I have to make it easy to solve, moving the needle slowly so she feels safe along the way. This "cheese" - overt communication on this or guidance and positive reinforcement? I guess both?
/r/MarriedRedPill30/10/19 09:30 AM
1

Not sure. Squats are brutal for me. I do leg presses easier. My back is a little weak and the deadlift gives me the jitters. I'm just starting and I'll add more as I learn. Tnx for the support.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/10/19 01:12 AM
1

You gave good eyes but I still hate these weak numbers. Tnx for the encouragement.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/10/19 01:09 AM
1

I'll be honest. Ultimately, I want her to feel secure. I first want the transfer of power- by her choice and for her benefit. I want her to FEEL the dread and WANT to hand me the keys. Then, when her fear subsides I'll be in a position to guide her as you describe.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/10/19 01:08 AM
2

The "What scares you is your safety" was right from your story.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/10/19 04:46 PM
29

OYS #13 STATS: Age 50, wife 49. 4 kids. 5’7’ 153 lbs. 10 months in to RP journey Physical: Loving lifting but still small. I go every other day. I lowered reps to 5-7 to increase weight. I’ve done no single amount max just keep doing reps. Squat: 145 (laugh all you want and call me a faggot but you have to start somewhere). Barbell bench – 130, Overhead press – 90, Lat pulls: 140, Curls: 100, Rope press down – 70. No surf this week. Kayak fished this week in the wind – killer arm and back workou…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/10/19 01:32 PM
1

Good thoughts on validation and attention: It takes sustained time. I've been at this hard since February in reading and practice and it took about 6 months to make noticeable headway. You said you're happy with your job. I thought you owned your own business? Keep at this, your posts sound like you want attention and validation here too. Christ is life for me and church has been a challenge for me too. You can still discern direction. Take some quiet space this week, read a couple verses and me…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/10/19 03:02 PM
1

Ok. You guys are the masters and I'm confused... It seemed to me the foundation has been laid for her to follow my lead...? What am I missing?
/r/MarriedRedPill22/10/19 10:50 PM
2

OYS #7. 9/17.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/10/19 02:58 PM
4

OYS #12 STATS: 50, wife 49. 4 kids. 5'7' 153 lbs. 9 months into RP journey. PHYSICAL: Lifting every other day but missed a couple this week because of hiking trip to the mountains. No surf this week. SPIRITUAL: Got one of my RP buddies on board for my guys get together to do guy shit / RP / bible study plan. Fishing day on the boat planned. Pretty stoked. RELATIONSHIP: Power transfer after main event. My 17 y.o. son was dumped by his 15 month LTR. I've coached him all the way in this by helping …
/r/MarriedRedPill22/10/19 01:30 PM
2

Your LTR bitches constantly and child is annoying and talks back to you? You are pissed off, argue and DEER? Your solution is to leave? Too early to know if that's the right call but wherever you go, there you are. Good thing your OYSing, you have a lot of work to do.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/10/19 12:33 PM
1

OYS #12 STATS: 50, wife 49, 4 kids. 5'7 - 152.5 lbs. 9 months into RP journey. PHYSICAL: Still lifting every other day without missing a day. Making gains and am in the groove. Have to gain weight though. Biggest surf of the year last evening and was amped after the session! SPIRITUAL: Struggling to find where I fit in with feminized church but came up with a plan that fits great within my mission. I am putting together a monthly guys outing where we will do guy shit (fish, surf, hunt, work on a…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/10/19 04:14 PM
2

I took the opportunity to handle the homework load last night and it brought about an extra measure of peace in the house. Good to do w/out a covert contract too. Tnx for the suggestions.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/10/19 02:34 PM
2

When I read it over, I did sound like a victim. I've delegated the kids school to her but tonight I'll do the homework while she cooks. I will reflect and write concrete actions I can take for next weeks OYS. Tnx.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/10/19 07:25 PM
1

Life is full with 4 kids. Our house isn't chaotic but constant. It's a part of this season. There has been a lot of stress for her as a mom around that one issue. Had his consult yesterday and extraction in November. She cares. I recognized the homework as an issue so a week ago I structured 6:30 as homework time. That has helped and I think with that consistency will reduce the homework stress. One of my sons is very slow and struggles with comprehension so it takes a long time with him. We hav…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/10/19 05:30 PM
1

OYS #11 Stats: 50, wife 49. 4 kids. 5’7 152 lbs. 9 months into RP journey Physical: Lifting every other day for about 6 weeks now. Here is what I do, all reps of 8, 10 then 12: Barbell bench: started at 70, now at 110. Lat pulls: started at 80, now at 120. Overhead press: started at 50, now at 80. Curls: started at 60 now at 95. Rope press down: started at 50, now at 70. Lying leg pulls (hamstring) started at 50, now at 70. Leg press: Started at 150, now at 230. Squat has been my biggest challen…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/10/19 01:01 PM
2

I did Kito for about 8 weeks. I didn't feel anything and you do realize how much garbage you eat. I lost all skinny fat (worked out and ran the whole time) but I saw no results for about 3 weeks. It sucked. I'm off it now but it still regulated and helped me permanently cut out useless food. Stick to it. Good on the porn. It sucks and a waste of time. Some use it together, that's one thing. By yourself. Nah
/r/MarriedRedPill09/10/19 11:43 AM
2

What are you going to DO?
/r/MarriedRedPill09/10/19 11:26 AM
1

"She was frustrated with the kids, the kids were yelling, one was crying, no one had taken a bath and dinner wasn't ready" This is on you. Get your house under control. And yes, I have four kids. Yelling is never an option. Expressing emotions, yes.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/10/19 03:39 PM
4

OYS #9 Stats: 50, wife 49. 4 kids, 19, 17, 13, 11. 5'7, 150 lbs. Physical: Still lifting every other day. 8, 10, 12 reps. Dumbbell press - 55 each, curls - 95 total, Overhead press-35 each, squat-135, Rope press down-60, Lat pulls-120. No surf this week but a lot coming up. Slow progress in gym but overall feeling good. I'm cut and look good but not gaining weight. I keto'd to lose skinny fat and its ingrained, now I'm not eating enough. Began the increase yesterday. Relationship: Since main eve…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/10/19 12:59 PM
18

Forget three warnings for the four year old. He'll do whatever three times everytime. One warning then time out. No anger and he'll respect your authority.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/10/19 10:57 AM
2

Not that I know of but I'm in
/r/RPChristians30/09/19 03:04 AM
2

"A leader accepts responsibility and moves on." Good words to hold on to. That is where I landed, but I'm so used to acquiescing in my life i didn't want to. But, I knew it was ultimately my fault.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/09/19 11:19 AM
1

Interesting video. The fine line of not needing to be "right" all the time while still standing up and not being a doormat. Gotta pick your battles I guess.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/09/19 07:39 PM
1

OYS #9 STATS: Age 50, wife 49. 4 kids. 5'7 155 lbs. 8 months into RP journey. PHYSICAL: Still going to gym every other day. Haven't missed a beat. I am making slow progress and some days feel great, some days feel like a weak pussy but I am committed. Had the best surf of the year this week and still lifted. LIFE: Last week I posted about my main event. The following day my real test came from... a neighbor. My dog got away while on a leash (my youngest couldn't hold on) and went after his, bark…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/09/19 12:58 AM
1

"You lift like a little bitch" by hack3ge. "Some people can't see the rodent for the fur" from Man_in_the_world and "You are half assing it and need to COMMIT" - Simberlion.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/09/19 12:27 AM
1

I have thought a lot about the stay plan is the go plan. That has helped me focus on me. So I feel good there. I guess I have somewhat divorced the two because the thought of go isn't really there. I felt confident I would see this day at some point in some fashion. I'm still trying to digest your third line...
/r/MarriedRedPill18/09/19 01:34 AM
1

I hear you and it sucks to hear you say that but I do understand. I'm very lucky to have strong Christian friends that are authentic.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/09/19 08:53 PM
2

I hear you. I didn't say I wouldn't divorce. I would if need be. Deep down, I've been sure that it would not have to be an option, but I never said I wouldn't.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/09/19 08:35 PM
1

It won't stay - I meant congruent!
/r/MarriedRedPill17/09/19 08:19 PM
1

That was supposed to say constituency
/r/MarriedRedPill17/09/19 08:18 PM
1

Excellent insight. On the divorce part, deep down, I've been sure that would not have to be an option but I follow you on the constituency. I'm not leaving here at all. My posts may just not be every week. I have learned and am learning way too much and I need it. I have three boys and they need me and all of this. I still cant believe all this happened the day after your post while it was so fresh in my mind as I talked. Thanks for taking the time to respond like this. I've read it three times …
/r/MarriedRedPill17/09/19 08:16 PM
2

Glad it resonated. RP and authentic faith is a powerful combination. I've had to go through a lot of church anger but zero faith anger if that makes sense.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/09/19 08:04 PM
3

I fully understood your position from your story a few months ago. I respect your principles and your PM's have been invaluable to me.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/09/19 08:01 PM
43

OYS #7 – My Main Event - eight months in Stats: 50, wife 49. Four kids – 19,17,13,10. 5’7’ 155. Eight months into RP journey Physical: Have consistently lifted for three full weeks, every other day. Only missed one day due to Anniversary. I finally settled on a routine I like which consists of sets of 8, 10, 12 reps. On some I add a fourth rep with much less weight but reps of 15 – 25 for cut. This list is what I’ve been doing and where I am currently: Lat pulls-100 lbs. Curls with bar-95lbs. Ov…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/09/19 12:54 PM
1

Going to have to ditch format and post from phone. 8 months in RP journey. Physical: lifted every other day, making progress and surfed twice. I came out of the STFU woods this week. I came to the realization that all the monkey alpha, leadership efforts mean very little compared to 20 years of fucking up my marriage. This eight month journey has been great and its been hell at the same time. All the idgaf and oi, mental point of origin and all these things weren't going anywhere because I hadn'…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/09/19 01:10 PM
1

I know that. My wife is a child counselor and likes Psychology so conversations that get close to this topic have a high propensity to rabbit hole into RP. I sometimes have a bad case of cant stfu-itis that I'm breaking so it is better to steer away if possible as I continue to grow.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/09/19 04:18 PM
1

I don't know why I typed shit test - I knew that was a comfort test. The second day was more of a shit test as I had to avoid DEERing and that was still on my mind when I posted. In the old days, I would have over apologized and felt horrible for upsetting the apple cart. I at least was able to not do that and handle it in more of a strength position. Thanks for the comment on frame. Some days I'm stronger, some days weaker. I re-read your post Thoughts on Frame this morning and I know I still h…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/09/19 03:14 PM
1

I'm not afraid at all. Fight club. Wanting to avoid fight club and RP details, that's all.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/09/19 12:36 AM
1

OYS #6 Stats: Age 50, wife 49, 4 kids 19,17,12,10. 5’7 and happily hit 156 lbs this week, up 4 from where I have been sitting and it ain’t junk food. 8 months into RP journey Physical: Lifted (Squats, bench, rows, abs, curls) four days last week and then had great surf from Hurricane Dorian this weekend, logged about five hours in the water. Felt great about accomplishing time in the gym and in the ocean this week. Relationship: We travelled this weekend and on Friday night while driving my wife…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/09/19 05:12 PM
4

OYS #5 or 6. Can’t remember… Stats: Age 50, wife 49, 4 kids: 19, 17, 12, 10. 5’7’ 152 lbs. Did the navy method for body fat this week and came to 17%. I’m pretty lean, so a little surprised, will have to find out exactly. 7 months into my RP journey. Physical: No surf this week. Ran 2-3 days as usual and light lifted some at home but started at the gym this week and I have a lot to figure out. I have not had a lifting routine since college and that was spotty at best. So this week was about star…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/08/19 10:25 AM
3

OYS #5 Stats: 5’7’ 152. 50, wife 49, 4 kids. 7 months into my journey – making this week’s short. Reading: Only MRP and ASKMRP. Surfed and worked all week. Physical: Waves never stopped last week, surfed every day but one. Wave size really increased over the weekend and I logged nearly eight hours in the water by Sunday at 2:00. Barley moved until work on Monday. Go ahead and give me hell for it but surfing will always take precedence over lifting. I still lifted some at home, just can’t do both…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/08/19 11:54 AM
1

I'm not looking up your history, but aren't you the same guy who a few weeks ago had a "long discussion" with your wife about fight club (as in you made some changes, she should fuck you now?). Yes. That was not the nature of the conversation. But that was me. Says "I will not DEER with you". Proceeds to DEER at least 5 different points. Knew someone would say that. Oh well. Context. Focus on your behavior and yourself. Your wife will come along, freak out and divorce you, or you'll check out an…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/08/19 09:27 PM
1

That's better. I want feedback, not shit thrown on the wall and left. I will not DEER with you but I will answer your question. I already recognized the lifting is weak. That is one area MRP is keeping me accountable. I'm active as hell and in very good shape for my age. You can't surf as much as I do and be weak. Look up a surfers body. I'm still going to hit the gym for the mental portion and clarity. You said she isn't fucking me. Look at my other OYS if you want. Not true at all. Not even cl…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/08/19 01:53 PM
1

You got it wrong. HER mind games, not mine. Did you read? SHE is unsure where she fits in. No hamster here.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/08/19 08:50 PM
1

OK. I can take being called a faggot if that's the case. Where is there anywhere here you think I'm not doing hard work to lead? Assumption? How is giving her what I expect in clear form a lazy, faggot way out?
/r/MarriedRedPill13/08/19 06:57 PM
1

Im not sure what you mean. I'm not attempting to negotiate away anything. My motivation is to lay out a clear framework of what I want.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/08/19 05:08 PM
0

OYS #4 Stats: 7 months in to my journey. Age 50, Wife 49. Together 20 years. 4 kids – 19,17,12,10. Height 5’7”. Weight 152 Reading: Leading and Supporting Love: The truth about Dominant and Submissive Relationships Lifting: Still the same but missed one day. Six days: Chest: 140 reps with two 25 lb. dumbells. 90 reps of curls. 300 to 400 crunches/day. Run 2-3 miles/day. Surfed 5 out of 7 days this week so heavy on physical activity. I know the lifting is weak but it has been helpful as I have ga…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/08/19 01:52 PM
1

Yes. I look there too but I have appreciated the rawness here even though it's like filleting a fish. Like I've said in my posts, I'm a little church and church lingo'd out right now. Searching local gym memberships this morning. Tnx for the accountability.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/08/19 02:12 PM
1

Nice on the picture you painted. Surfed this a.m. with all three boys - 17,12,10. Words do not describe... Why am I here? I acted like I knew how to lead in marriage. I lived a life of validation. I am learning frame and beginning to live in it. I want to teach this to my boys. I want to learn and be accountable to improve. I want the best out of this life and my marriage and I believe a mix of RP and my faith are the keys. I have made significant personal strides since coming here and also gain…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/08/19 11:47 PM
1

I felt the half assing this week. I've barely lifted my whole life until 7 months ago, just surfed. So, as it pertains to my journey... Helped me focus Cleared my mind Keeps me disciplined in life I walk, talk and work confidently Got me through the anger phase without killing someone Feel more masculine, keeps polarity between us.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/08/19 03:53 PM
1

I felt the half assing this week. I've barely lifted my whole life until 7 months ago, just surfed. So, as it has pertained to my journey... Helped me focus Cleared my mind Keeps me disciplined in life I walk, talk and work confidently Got me through the anger phase without killing someone Feel more masculine, keeping polarity between us.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/08/19 03:12 PM
3

OYS #3 Stats: 50, wife 49. Four kids. 7 months in to my journey. Reading: I am a little burned out on book reading as I have read TRM twice, NMMNG twice, TWOTSM, MMSLP, Book of Pook, and most of WISNIFG. Read every word of ask MRP and MRP. Also Dalrock's anti-feminist blog. Lifting: Same and getting boring. Weak, Only using dumbells at the house for chest and curls. Also crunches a day and running. I have to get a gym membership because there is now no progress and I am feeling it, I have put it…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/08/19 12:31 PM
1

I've read this post several times in the past. Tnx for re posting it. I suck at conveying emotions and talk during sex. I know its because I had a lack of confidence. I've been trying to ramp this up. Practice? Fake it til you make it?
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/19 11:12 AM
2

OYS #2 Stats Age 50, wife 49. 4 kids - 19, 17, 12, 10. Six months into my journey. Lifting Same. High reps with dumbells, bench for chest, curls for arms and 300 situps/crunches per day for six days a week.. Run 2-3 miles per day. Had waves twice this week so surfing was on tap. I lift for mental clarity and cut not so much for bulk. When swell season comes, light strong and lean is optimum. Reading this week was light - MRP and Dalrock's blog. Leading and Supportive Love: The Truth about Domina…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/07/19 10:10 PM
1

From March thru July - 5 months, I STFU and went on emotional shut off and went hard on killing validation seeking from wife, kids, colleagues. Everyone. I full keto'd, added muscle but mostly cut. Threw out old clothes, bought new and took care of a ton of shit around the house. A ton. Went OI on initiation and boundary pushing. Little Rambo, just did it. So I've laid a precedence. Art_Martin asked why I care so much about her needs. She adds tremendous value to my life and kids. She is hungry …
/r/MarriedRedPill25/07/19 11:29 AM
1

I get that and thanks for keeping me honest. In Charge Man's story has been helpful for me differentiating between putting HER first and putting HER NEEDS first.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/07/19 01:34 PM
2

OYS #1 Age: 50 Wife 49. Together 20 years. 4 kids - 19, 17, 12, 10. Height 5'7'. Weight 155. ​ Reading: Rational Male twice. NMMNG twice. TWOTSM. WISNIFG. MMSLP. Red Pill Sidebar. SGM(Didn't like) MRP. ​ Lifting: Six days: Chest:140 reps with two 25 lb dumbells. 90 Reps of curls. 300 reps of crunches. Run 2-3 miles/day. Also a surfer. Surf hard when waves show up. I'm in good shape but this lifting will improve. ​ Kids/Family: Bright spot here. Close. Proud of my kids. Always been engaged with t…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/07/19 01:28 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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