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girlwithasidecar Archive

View 12 posts and 474 comments by girlwithasidecar on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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6

If my husband thinks that it is icky, he had chosen not to disclose it. We talk about a lot of things and we have no particular secrets from each other. He had quite a few notches of his own. This was normal in the circles we ran in so neither of us would have expected to find anyone different. And he obviously decided that what I bring to the table (too much to list) is worth the trade off for what I didnt bring (virginity).
/r/RedPillWomen03/12/22 01:30 AM
5

If I had wanted to disclose that, I would have done so before now. Over the years here, I have encountered many women with double digit n counts who have been happily married and RPW. There are and will always be plenty of reasons to keep a low n count. There are and always will be men that find it distasteful. However It is not a deal breaker for all men. In my personal life, I have never heard of a woman being dumped for her count. In my time here it has only come up a few times. I don't know …
/r/RedPillWomen03/12/22 01:18 AM
4

You have no idea what my n count. The only thing I have ever said on rpw is that it is high and my husbands is higher.
/r/RedPillWomen03/12/22 01:05 AM
1

I'm not on one side of the fence or the other. I think that the amount of information that we are not provided on topics like sex, abortion, birth control, is incredibly disheartening. Yes there is a risk to pregnancy. My second had to be sucked out with a vacuum so they didn't have to cut me open. A friend's baby tried to explode her uterus on the way out (scarring from an IUD). That doesn't negate the risks of an abortion. Further, I didn't say that you could die from an abortion which is what…
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/22 07:16 PM
2

Abortion can have health consequences for the mother. This is beyond whatever mental issues may or may not stick with you. Like everything else RP discusses, there are risks and an individual must determine if the risks are worth the payoff. Too often it is suggested as an option in a vacuum and no one is educated on the downsides. It may look like the best option for her is an abortion and a clean slate but what happens if the result is infertility down the road? If people want to suggest abort…
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/22 06:23 PM
8

You got pregnant hoping that things would change. There is a possibility that he steps up in the long term but there is a possibility that he does not. He is also older enough that I bet he seemed mature and ready to be a father to you. To me, he seems like he has some maturing to do. The good news is that people mature into parenthood all the time BUT... The time to ask "how do I get him to step up" was before you got pregnant. Now you must deal with the hand you are dealt. This means working t…
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/22 03:35 PM
2

How old are both of you? How long have you been dating? Do you live together (it sounds like maybe you do not)? Was he every a provider? What do you want him to do that you are afraid to say? What was your relationship like before you got pregnant? How long were you trying to get pregnant? Who brought it up - was it your idea and he said he was on board or was it his idea?
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/22 03:15 PM
4

What are you looking for here? You tagged this as advice but it's vague and ranty and doesn't provide information to actually give you advice. What do you expect him to be doing? My husband needed some time to wrap his head around having our first. However, as I recall it, there isn't much for a man to do in the first couple weeks anyway. It would be nice if they could carry the nausea for us but they really can't. But also, you sound very resentful and it is only a couple weeks in. Why did you …
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/22 03:08 PM
9

I am married and wrote the post on reasons to keep a low n count. It is simply untrue that this is a problem for all men, it's isn't even a problem for all "high value men" or "good" men.
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/22 01:02 PM
2

Right, and the content is public so I cannot stop you. But you are linking people who pay you to content that you didn't create. It seems pretty lazy and while I can't speak for others, I didn't write in a public forum so other people could profit off of it directly or indirectly.
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/22 09:13 PM
2

I'll be honest, you getting paid for content that I wrote makes me want to delete everything.
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/22 08:39 PM
9

Accepting something from someone creates a sense of obligation. This is the reason that sales people give away pens and other miscellany. It is not conscious. When dating, I felt that it was best for myself if I paid. I always offered but also accepted graciously if they declined my offer to pay. However, I was not looking to feel obligated to someone on a first or second date simply because he paid for dinner.
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/22 08:30 PM
3

Modern cookbooks are like this. You have to already have thirty seven spices on hand and then still go out and buy three types of obscure condiments. Get an older cookbook. Marcella Hazan, Julia Childs, Better Homes & Gardens etc. There will still be complicated recipes and ones with long ingredient lists. There will also be recipes that are "here is how you make beans" with three ingredients. There are things you will want to keep on hand. These are called staples. They will be a bit different …
/r/RedPillWomen25/11/22 03:52 PM
3

Nihilists are tedious. You do you.
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/22 05:11 PM
4

Was Hiroshima likewise beautiful after the destruction. This is insensitive at best
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/22 04:52 PM
2

You didn't offend me. What you did was make me think that you are a broken person, at least when it comes to interpersonal relationships. Hopefully you were just having a bad day.
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/22 12:16 AM
10

My point is that she has all the markers of an ideal picture perfect life.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/22 05:29 PM
7

I get the desire to hurt someone who hurt or embarrassed you. It's not usually good to act on. And when you get this outraged on behalf of someone that you don't know, you probably have some baggage to work out in your own life.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/22 02:34 PM
10

I don't think that she was talking about all women. But also, you don't know every woman behind the curtain and you shouldn't presume that you know them that well. I know a woman who had a great husband and fantastic girlboss job and life. She's now divorced and dating a married man because she lacks the confidence to aim for an available man. I know another whose husband is awesome her kids are smart and attractive, she is beautiful and she's dying inside. I KNOW other people are not privy to t…
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/22 02:32 PM
17

I'd let him cancel his tickets or miss his flight and then dump him anyways for even considering this while in a commited relationship This is the most graceless and immature advice I've read in awhile.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/22 01:46 PM
18

That's not really a solid analysis either. Young women ARE insecure. I think that with hindsight and wisdom many women will agree with this.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/22 12:34 PM
21

Why do you think this is projection? When you throw off a line like this it sounds more like you feel bad about her comment but can't actually find something wrong with it.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/22 12:23 PM
3

You are arguing against male nature here. Whether you like it or not, this is how some men feel. And honestly, it isn't unjustified. If a woman dated a man and they always hung out in comfortable clothes and watched movies, cooked at home and didn't go out much she might be ok with that. If she found out that he wined and dined his ex, put on a suit, took her to high end places -- well that woman might conclude that he thought less of her than he did of his ex. She might even think that the ex g…
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/22 01:38 PM
135

If he is reluctant to get married because you are "used up" then he doesn't see you as wife material. You should thank him for his honesty and pack your bags. I was with my husband for five years before we married. If your bf can lay out what he is waiting for then fine. If he is doing things to take care of you with a view of the long term then fine. If he is just setting out vague goalposts and concerns that cannot be changed, then he's simply deflecting. If you want to stay with him without m…
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/22 01:17 AM
27

https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/xz1fpm/i_made_an_oopsie_and_i_know_the_issues_is_deeper/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button 🤨
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/22 12:45 AM
9

It's not really devil's advocate. I don't think he's right and assuming the story is entirely accurate, I think she should get out. I also think that it's much easier to make the decision to move to a bedroom than to leave the house. I think that books that layout what is normal in male behavior and in an RP type relationship will help her to determine the right course of action. I understand everyone wanting her to leave and it's not that I disagree. I just don't think she's leaving today. If I…
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/22 08:58 PM
34

I hope this isn't the case, but statistically, it warrants consideration. I would add that if the changes are sudden and drastic, the onset of a mental illness should be considered as well.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/22 07:18 PM
1

I initially wanted to give your husband the benefit of the doubt that he is a normal man who has reached the end of his rope. Combine that with some Red Pill Rage (the married guys also call it going Rambo) and I can see something like this situation (or at least from the initial post). The respect issue is a big one. It is how men feel loved. It is not unreasonable that 7 years of ignoring his advice, talking back, contradicting yourself, dressing one way for him and another for the rest of the…
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/22 07:15 PM
2

How did it go? Did anything resonate?
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/22 12:06 PM
4

https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/8cnh7l/for_women_only_respect_and_love_chapter_2/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button Start with that. I can send more for perspective but that's my number one choice to start and see if anything clicks for you.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/22 01:26 AM
9

What is it that makes him feel disrespected that this is coming up in the first place? It sounds like there is potentially an underlying issue here and he doesn't know how to address it.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/22 12:29 AM
5

Why should he compliment you though? Who is this guy to you? And if he's a jerk then can you simply not interact with him? I don't understand the situation.
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/22 08:18 PM
3

Poor social graces doesn't make it "not feedback". Negging has the goal of attracting a woman. If he doesn't want her and is just being a jerk then it's not negging.
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/22 02:58 PM
13

It could be negging or it could be feedback. Is there more to the story and do you care what this guy thinks?
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/22 02:48 PM
4

And we are telling you that your condescension on a topic that you have no personal experience about is unfeminine at best and won't win you any applause or praise.
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/22 11:34 AM
3

Ah the unearned confidence of the inexperienced.
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/22 08:51 AM
3

So you have no actionable advice or experience but wanted to hear yourself talk. Got it.
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/22 08:50 AM
6

And what about when it's toddlers? How do you fix that? 🤨 This just sounds like an overly simplistic answer for the way a woman's sex drive works.
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/22 03:45 AM
14

I wrote two posts about a year ago talking about sex in marriage, maybe they will help what you are talking about. https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/q0rvp6/for_the_old_ladies_sex_marriage/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/q46hut/some_additional_shower_thoughts_about_sex_and/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/22 04:17 PM
5

You don't come across as go with the flow if you guys had conversations at 1 month about communication and you had expectations about proper texting. And seeing life the same is something that can only be determined over time. It would be reasonable for either of you to realize that your actions and words don't match up here. (As a for instance: if you say you want to be a SAHM but talk about your career all the time a person may conclude that you don't want what you say you want). But ok. What …
/r/RedPillWomen17/10/22 03:06 PM
1

What is he looking for in a partner?
/r/RedPillWomen17/10/22 02:55 PM
4

You asked him about his goals? Or you listen to him ask you questions and you assumed Just asking you questions is not deceiving. Having sex with you is not deceiving. Talking about the fact that he would like a relationship is not deceiving.
/r/RedPillWomen17/10/22 02:45 PM
3

There is something off about the whole thing and post history doesn't make it clearer but does add details.
/r/RedPillWomen17/10/22 02:33 PM
7

From what you described you were not played or rejected. You liked him and decided to have sex with him, multiple times, because you thought that would help lead in the direction of a relationship. What were you offering other than sex? A man with options will be able to be more picky. It sounds like he decided that you weren't compatible. Either you guys didn't have matching values and goals or you simply didn't offer what he was seeking. And I don't think your traumatized I think you are insul…
/r/RedPillWomen17/10/22 02:21 PM
9

This is only true in some cases. I know married women, RPW and other with high counts. Keeping a low n-count is good. However, once that ship has sailed, it is not a death sentence relationship-wise.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/22 08:54 PM
9

So here is my conspiracy theory: It used to be a problem to be considered RP. This was when TRP was ascending and attempting to teach men to better themselves. Yes there was all the uncouth talk about women but the first principles were to be your own man, improve your life, go lift. Now all of these content creators are only replaying the "women aren't wonderful" talking points without the push to be better men. They are allowed to exist because anger and division are all that is pushed in 2022…
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/22 12:36 PM
18

I'm going to gloss over the age thing because everyone else has commented on it. When I was your age my HS/College boyfriend, who according to everyone adored me, cheated on me. Oh he felt guilty and came clean and I "forgave" him. Then he did it again at a time when I was so busy and couldn't even think about breaking up with him so I said 'ok whatever' and moved on. After all he was my best friend and I told myself I could get over it but I couldn't. I was young and my boundaries were flexible…
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/22 10:22 PM
6

I'd have to go back and read it which I do not have to the time to do right now. I was under the impression that duty sex was a serious no no when it happened to often. This also goes along with all of the complaints I have seen in the manosphere about starfish sex. If sex was sex and there was nothing attached to it beyond the physical act then starfish sex and duty sex would not even come up as issues
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/22 06:51 PM
3

What you are saying somewhat contradicts the studies done in for women only. Perhaps you are an outlier in this matter https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/8o2dtb/for_women_only_sex_chapter_6/
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/22 03:08 PM
22

Sure, our biological imperative is to have babies to continue the species. This is true for men and women. Then the strategies for survival of those children diverges. It's just that there really is more to life than that. AND Motherhood is wonderful but it is also exhausting and thankless. Being a wife is a joy but a man cannot fulfill everything you need in life. Be very careful that your frustrations with feminism do not lead to an essentialism about womanhood.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/22 02:53 PM
2

What is the value add of this post? I think there is one in the archives from Rollo Tomasi -- are you so arrogant that you need to rewrite Rollo? 🙄
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/22 02:06 PM
5

This is a pet peeve of mine. I've seen it suggested before and I wonder what people do that they can just cut their hours. The benefits of it are also very variable. I have super flexible hours and it doesn't alleviate the burden it just allows me to spread work to more convenient times. It's better than most can hope for but it doesn't make everything sunshine and roses.
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/22 11:39 PM
1

That makes sense. This is probably prime for "bring him the problem". Everything you are saying is more from a place of feelings and while you have a solution that you think would work for you, getting buy in when you suggest a solution is a lot harder than asking him to come up with a solution. I vaguely remember you have issues with him before because he has always put his career as the top priority. Unfortunately, this may be the man you married and his career is your cross to bear. You have …
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/22 11:37 PM
7

I'm confused if you are warning me or the OP. I also don't get how people think it's so very easy to cut back hours. I've never seen it be that simple.
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/22 10:59 PM
39

I understand what you are saying. My husband makes more than I do but my salary is not nothing. I'm lucky enough to work from home so we don't have to day care our kids which is important to us. I like know that my allowance part of my income is mine. I like what I do for the most part (covid took way some of the client interaction that I really enjoyed). But oh man are there days when I wish I didn't serve two masters (boss and family). And we bought a fix up house so I feel like giving up my j…
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/22 09:20 PM
1

I think you are repeating my post(s) to me. Rollo has written here too but he's not great at converting his advice for women. We also don't use celebrities as examples, one because why care about them but two because you have no idea what their lives and relationships are like. Are you new to the red pill?
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/22 11:04 AM
12

It can be such a vague concept and yet it's the biggest one we talk about. I am glad it helped. I don't know if everyone views it the way I do, I'm sure others have slightly different variations. I think if you understand teh "why" you can figure out a "how" that makes sense for your relationship. I think my husband I look pretty egalitarian from the outside. The big decisions it's clear that he's leading but in the day to day, we are just two people doing what need to be done.
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/22 10:22 PM
9

Oh, looks like you are a prostitute. That explains the high level of discourse.
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/22 07:37 PM
4

It means different things to different people which is where it gets confusing. I think a "pretty much anyone can agree that this is a starting point" would be to show respect. You don't argue about every little thing. You respect his time and is ability to manage his own work (ie: don't nag). You defer to him on the big things. You bring him a problem instead of tell him how to resolve an issue. You don't act as though your way is the ONLY way or even the best way (like who cares if the dishwas…
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/22 07:31 PM
6

Too lazy, didnt read? Dude, this is a self improvement sub. Honestly if you can't be bothered to read then just go somewhere else.
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/22 04:59 PM
7

It is. If it is too much for you to read, don't. We provide information to help women figure out the best way to have happy relationships. No one is forcing you. We are also not catering to you.
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/22 04:51 PM
2

So I don't know how you fell but when I spilled, a bunch of people came for me and just as many went for the bike. It wasn't because the bike was more important it was because it was still on and it traveled and spun a bit. Getting that up and secure was as important (maybe more) so no one else got hurt. I mean that's how I remember it anyway. But I have always joked that in a contest between me and the bike I'm not sure who would win. 😛
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/22 02:19 PM
3

I'm going to have to go through my old posts and find some of the sillier stuff that has been suggested to me. You are doing great 🤪
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/22 12:47 PM
8

If you don't trust your man because he's wrong too often to trust and you are rarely wrong then either you married and idiot and it was a poor decision on your part or you are not right as much as you think but he lets things slide. I don't know which would be worse.
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/22 02:34 PM
11

LMAO at the people who are so worried that you are following blindly. It's like they've never had an experience where they were not the expert. I had to learn to shoot too. My father in law started the training on that one. I killed a can my first time out. A lot of states in the US have a motorcycle riders course where they teach you on low powered bikes (250 cc). This is how I learned and then we did parking lots with him watching me ride over the headset and then we went out into the less pop…
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/22 02:33 PM
7

But this isn't a case of the man "being a dickhead" it was an accident caused by the OP NOT following (riding) properly. Are you ever wrong in your relationship?
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/22 01:30 PM
2

What do you think is impractical about it?
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/22 01:29 PM
20

This brings back so many memories. When I learned to ride we got similar bikes and put intercoms in our helmets. A few times Guy picked a direction that resulted in me following his instructions while my heart beat out of my chest. When he said I could do it, he was always right The only time I spilled... totally my fault. Did you know that you can't stop on gravel? Because the man yelling in my ear "this isn't where we stop" ... He knew 😂 Beautiful post.
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/22 01:28 PM
14

I see a lot of complaints about him. Haven't done this in a while but: What exactly do you bring to the table to warrant your entitlement? Nothing he is doing is up to your standards. Usually that means that the price (your standards) are too high for what you are offering.
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/22 12:26 PM
2

Your post history indicates that your first experience with a girl was recent but here you say that you've been with many women. Lying does not lead to good advice. Care to explain?
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/22 12:19 PM
2

Glad it resonates for you. Good luck!!
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/22 04:26 PM
2

When we met, he was in school and working an overnight shift to pay for college. He carved out as much time as he had to carve out but it was a busy time. It's probably one of the reasons that we moved in together so quickly. It was a way that I got to see him more. At that point, he and I both thought that it would ease up once he graduated. He stopped working his last year of school to go back full time and finish. I NEVER saw him that year unless I went up to the school and visited him. We li…
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/22 12:56 PM
4

I want to answer this because it's an interesting question. I have never seen a satisfactory definition that makes me go "ah yes that". So musing out loud: Feminine is somewhat de-coupled from "what is it to be a woman". Not every woman is feminine and not every female-trait is feminine. For instance, in For Men Only (talking about women's characteristics) - they find that women tend to be insecure in relationships and need constant reassurance. This is the case even after marriage. No one would…
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/22 12:18 PM
3

I am talking more about what I have seen here over the years. I don't think that people really know how to define femininity. Often it is in opposition to masculinity. But you are right that masculinity isn't defined with respect to femininity. So I don't disagree with you and if we are trying to put down a definition then I do tend to talk about being receptive as one aspect. I just also think that we don't know what femininity is beyond some vague notions. Men seem more ... definite ... So the…
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/22 07:48 PM
2

"it wouldn't be the end of the world if it wasn't me or my husband kissing a boo boo, but I am glad it's us". This sounds like me. I definitely have had this thought. Today I am willing to sell the older kid to the first bidder. You are right though. We should be asking for honesty. The truth may not always be nice but you can't make a good decision if you are fed soothing half truths. Yep, the bitterness is strong in me And it's crazy making right! Of course universal maternity care is a woman'…
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/22 05:43 PM
2

Hey girl, I'm with you. I imagine a lot of RPW is as well, it's just that the people who comment are usually the people who disagree because that's a point to discuss. When people agree it's just "yeah I agree". I've run into it with posts and it's frustrating. I know the ways I have changed - not intentionally but the reworking of my brain - since having kids. Mother's are biologically built to take care of their kids. We know this. But sometimes women have to work and they feel guilty. The gui…
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/22 05:25 PM
4

you seem to be responding and diving into semantics I understand the OPs frustration with the semantics. On an individual level, kids should bond with a variety of caregivers. I stay home but Kaos goes to have an overnight with my parents on the regular. Last week she told them that she lived there now. It's good that she has a strong bond with her grandparents. I'm thrilled with that. But because of what is going on in the wider world I also get put off by articles that lessen the value of moth…
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/22 04:09 PM
11

She is recently divorced so she's not looking for a man right now. Well, not exactly anyway She's dating And living for the moment And seeing where things go The amount of hamstering is honestly so exhausting that I've been distancing myself. But you are right that she's her own jailer. She's bought so heavily into the narrative that it's destroying her. A month ago she told me that she would maybe like to consider and option with kids. At 38 With no man in sight. But she's seeing how things go.…
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/22 12:39 PM
32

Most people miss the point of this sub for equating femininity to present a weakness I think the problem is that no one seems to be able to articulate what it means to be feminine. You don't even do it in this post. Consequently, there is a lot of musing on what it means to be femininity and it tends to be defined in opposition to masculinity. This is what you do here: masculine is strong so feminine must be weak BUT feminity isn't weak your thoughts go. Masculine and feminine are complements. S…
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/22 12:18 PM
10

My friend from high school IS a high powered career woman. Second home, nice car, much salary the works. Everything she does is like, archetypical. TRP predicted her life before it ever got started. However she definitely has more of the financial success than I do. She has the most ideal version of the Career Gal. She isn't some low end office drone with cats in a small apartment. No, she's a high end corporate drone with dog-babies in a five bedroom house in a sleepy vacation town. And while I…
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/22 12:06 PM
8

My husband is naturally red pilled. I wouldn't want anything else. He doesn't put me on a pedestal but loves me dearly because he knows how hard an RPW is to find. He has been with enough other women that he doesn't wonder what else is out there or have a wandering eye. He takes control when needed and laughs off my crazy as appropriate. Everyone is quick to say that they would never be with an RP man. I don't think I could ever be with someone who believes that men and women are the same or wha…
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/22 05:47 PM
1

Aren't you a delight. I can just imagine what your dating history looks like. Are you really so messed up that you think that the only winner here is the man? They are married ffs. Oh no don't have sex, it might get you a husband!!! Go away and don't come back. We don't need your damaged takes.
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/22 11:26 AM
8

Men and work can be a really tricky thing. I was just writing a post about how much husband had been out of work for a year and how great I feel for not pushing him to get back to the workforce sooner. 2 months is really insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Men are allowed to be human and have the wind knocked out of their sails when job loss occurs.
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/22 08:15 PM
11

Google exists so I don't get why women often play victim with bc. The side effects can be subtle OR more noticeable to others than to yourself. I don't think most people notice what is going on in their bodies AND it's tough to realize "this isn't normal" when it's something more subtle like "i'm gaining weight" or "i'm tired and worn down". It can be easier for someone else to look at our mood and symptoms from a distance and tell us something isn't right. And once you DO notice, it's not alway…
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/22 08:14 PM
17

My experience was that anytime I expressed a concern I was told that I just needed to find the right pill. When I asked if it could be impacting my thyroid (after I was diagnosed hypothyroid and several years went by with spotty improvement) I was told a flat no. When I stopped taking the pill it was a night and day difference. It's been five years and I'm still angry. I feel for you and your wife. It must have been a rough few years especially with quarantines and all right in the middle of her…
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/22 07:02 PM
2

Ooh ok so I did them based on my husband and my stats when we met. Not my standards, our actual approximate stats. I am 4/5 cat lady. The probability of finding him was 0.7%. "My standards"- 6', white, mid-late 20s, not married or obese and a min income of $45k For a man to have standards that describes me (at that time) it was .27% chance of finding me and 4/5 red pills (🤔). The only difference from above is height as I am 5'4. So I'm pretty sure this data is meaningless.
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/22 05:30 PM
1

Hypergamy – The instinctual urge for women to seek out the best alpha available. This is marked by maximizing rejection (therefore women are the selective gender). A woman will vet her alpha through various shit tests to ensure his "health" on the alpha scale. She is conditioned to recognize a declining alpha, as hypergamy also tends to continue seeking out higher status males even while with an alpha male. Shit tests allow her to prepare herself for eventually leaving when a new higher status m…
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/22 08:50 PM
5

I am giving you a star for this post and the other one. Whether this relationship continues or not I am truly impressed with your grace and levelheadedness. You've treated him like you are on the same team and like he is a person worthy of respect. And from this position, I don't think you have done it by being a doormat or losing yourself. I know that you are getting a lot of pushback but I think that this is the most RP perspective on a relationship that I've seen recently. My fingers are cros…
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/22 06:24 PM
8

I AM! I would like to say that I took a break like you did, because one needs to get off the internet from time to time. In reality I had just written so much in comments and posts about both me and the husband that I thought it might be in my best interest to make myself less doxxable. I started up this one to help out last year when they did a back to basics string of posts. I'm so so glad that everything is going well for you. You know Whisper was kicked off of Reddit. Permanently I believe. …
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/22 05:04 PM
3

I've never thought of them as strictly related. I think submission works because men want to be respected and women want to feel cared for. These are necessary conditions for a fulfilling relationship. So hypergamy boils down to wanting the best man in the room and can result in women in a relationship comparing their man to others - particularly if she doesn't feel that her man is the best she can get. So we recommend that women up their market value to really help her get the best partner. Thi…
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/22 03:43 PM
6

I've watched it twice now. The first was a long time friend of my husband. She had one long LTR who was too lazy to get off his butt and marry her. She broke up with him, had some life drama, dealt with it, got back to dating. She was seeing a guy who she really liked. We were not close so I will not try to assess the guy. He had a decent job and was well off enough for her to think he was well off. He wanted her to move in. She didn't want to do that without the ring. It ended. She was about 35…
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/22 11:40 PM
3

Why does hypergamy have to go hand in hand with male led relationships? I don't follow.
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/22 11:30 PM
19

🎉🎉 so happy to see you and hear that everything is so good. And pre-congratulations on your impending pregnancy,🤪
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/22 11:12 PM
31

"Is there something in our relationship that is making you unhappy? No? Ok then, I love you and my plan is to remain with you forever. I also am aware of all of the things you are telling me but it's upsetting me to have to get worked up whenever we talk. It might be helpful to discuss the evils of women with other men and not your wife" And if he keeps it up "I'm not having this discussion with you again" Sometimes they get upset at the internet and want everyone around to be upset with them. M…
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/22 08:14 PM
3

I agree with you. I've also had conversations with my own mother about how my husband or father is behaving. I tend to think "well what's the big deal" and my mother approaches it as though men are here for women's benefit. Unfortunately, I think this is the way that a lot of women think. It won't be the last time that you have an encounter like this (hopefully it will ease with your in laws though). Good luck. You got this.
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/22 06:29 PM
6

Since you already agreed to a shower already told them your fiance isn't interested and They think you can change his mind They don't seem to be of the "male leader" mindset I think you have gone through all the initial steps correctly and gracefully. In your shoes, this is the point where I would start to make lighthearted, laughing dismissals of their suggestions. MIL: "You are the woman, you get to decide" You: "haha, you'd think that! but I don't want to upset him before he's legally stuck w…
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/22 06:01 PM
4

Did the men say "my pride was hurt?" Or did you make that assumption because you believe that is the case? Do you know that the men got their position because of his genitals? Because it is provable that companies are seeking out women. There are no legal rights that men have that women (or POC) do not. Currently feminism is seeking out extra privileges for women not unclaimed rights. Further- feminism is pushing ideas that women's empowerment comes from working for a corporation over her family…
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/22 10:08 PM
6

I am a mom. I also work, in finance, with a math degree. I have. I am also nearly 40 and have watch a variety of fields over the decades I have been an adult. I see women complain that they have to compete with men. I see men complain that the women who are working with them aren't very good. If it was here or there then I would chalk it up to sour grapes but it's not just here or there. I had a very good friend say that she was going to be angry if a white man got the job that she was applying …
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/22 09:38 PM
3

Or perhaps it is a matter of choice that women prefer to be mothers. The reality is that for the majority of women, they will be much happier and more fulfilled raising their kids than at their jobs. Most people are average. Most average jobs are not fulfilling... unless money is your god. Also we are only encouraging women into particular male dominated fields. We tell women to be programmers where the worst they have to break is a nail not machinists who lose fingers and gasp, get dirty. And t…
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/22 09:27 PM
2

Yeah I get it. I sound like someone you want to strangle. It's more that I have no problem leaving the kitchen dirty so I can be in a good mood to make waffles. I relax when it's time no matter what needs to be done still. It can get done in the morning. I can't get downtime in the morning because my kid wakes up before me every. single. day.
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/22 12:07 AM
6

Why do you say this?
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/22 09:39 PM
9

Ha! You basically beat me to the punch by like a minute here. 😜
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/22 09:39 PM
9

And a smart woman will take this ☝️ and make a mental note to compliment her bfs calf muscles (or arms or chest or general physical appearance)
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/22 09:38 PM
5

I am certainly not a perfect non-complaining angel. I get frustrated when women act like they are soooo good and sooo submissive and I feel like that is how I'm coming off. So with that said... No I don't feel like I'm giving more than I'm getting or like I live in his world. "Roles" are constantly fluctuating. When his friends are around, I am conscious of them being his friends and I approach those interactions as the "good girl wife & hostess". I love having people around and caring for them …
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/22 06:15 PM
1

Yes! I'm sure that it goes badly more often than not but I don't borrow trouble and trouble didn't knock. Any small issues we dealt with in the moment and I haven't had lingering doubts, regrets or hurts. I'm glad it went well for you too. It is possible to have it go smoothly!
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/22 02:31 PM
6

Thank you and LOL. I agree it’s one of the strongest ideas we’ve had at RPW for years and I’m not surprised it came from you It didn't come from me really. It came from durtyknees. I merely relayed the idea for you to run with. what do you think it is you do that inspires not only your husband’s commitment but also his devotion to you and your kiddos? He says (literally before I read your comment he said "tell Sunshine the answer is...") to tell you that it is knowing that I will always have his…
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/22 02:29 PM
7

I don't feel like it has impacted my life in a real way. People are still nice to me. My husband still grabs my butt when he walks by. I like to think that I will handle aging with grace. I'm going to pretend here that I am ever so zen about it but that's probably not true. I'm aging well. I wouldn't try to compete with myself 10 years ago but I don't have to which is the point of marriage. Now that he is stuck with me I simply have to look good for my age. I can keep up that standard. He seems …
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/22 02:20 AM
3

I probably would have had more and we wouldn't have had to do it so close together. I would have had more energy. Very little that I did before having them was better enough to delay for. I quite enjoy where life is right now.
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/22 12:40 AM
7

We are not. We have kids and don't want to bring them around that sort of thing. I'm not sure what you mean by mentally prepping. These were ongoing encounters with women that I was perfectly happy to have dinner with, bedroom games aside. One was a good friend long after the sex stopped and I miss her sometimes. (She divorced and moved away & I got pregnant.) It wasn't a turn off for me so it's not something I needed to wrap my head around or anything like that. My husband was really good at ma…
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/22 11:27 PM
9

First, I would tell her not to go all out with gifts on her first anniversary because then you have to keep it up :-P. I'm not sure that I have a single piece of universal advice. My best would be to remember to be charitable with her husband. Don't assume that he has bad intentions or does things for bad reasons. I find that assuming he's overall a good guy with good intentions helps downgrade resentments into mere annoyances. And there will always be annoyances when your life is intertwined wi…
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/22 11:20 PM
5

YOU inspired me to do the FW posts That's awesome! Those posts are great and such an asset.
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/22 07:39 PM
7

Thank you for sharing some of the more private details of your sex life. I grew up with a looooot of gay men (childhood friends). TMI just wasn't a thing with them so I'm probably more open about sex than appropriate for polite society :-D But I share a similar story to “just knowing” There is a family story that my grandmother took off her engagement ring when she met my grandfather. I am not usually one to go with my gut but I do think that sometimes you know. And maybe, just maybe, it's as im…
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/22 07:37 PM
1

:-D
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/22 07:04 PM
24

I wasn't specifically looking for marriage so that wasn't as big of a concern initially. I knew I wanted to be with him. At a certain point, I also knew that I wasn't going to leave him if we didn't get married. I wanted to get married, I probably even bugged him more than he appreciated but I wasn't going to leave and I admitted that to myself. We both took time off of college and completed it as adults. That was one of the things that needed to be in place. He wasnt' going to get married until…
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/22 07:04 PM
7

As far as I am aware, my husband did not "become" red pilled. He is a fairly observant and intelligent man and has always done well with women. Our early 20s predate the manosphere so he's just a 'natural'. The reason for being warned against RP men has more to do with the anger phase OR an unsuccessful integration of RP ideas. That was never an issue with us. The language gives us a way to talk about ideas but the ideas weren't new or shocking - particularly for him. I would not want to go alon…
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/22 06:32 PM
9

Oh when I got my license he bought me all the gear. Roland Sands jacket, adorable helmet, intercoms so we could talk to each other. He just doesn't care about his own life This sounds like a good development, and one that would take time. It shows some serious faith in your husband. Submission, truly following his lead in all cases, takes time. I don't believe in the whole "don't give wife privileges to a boyfriend" thing BUT that doesn't mean that you give him more than has been earned or recip…
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/22 06:24 PM
20

Thank you :-) My husband used to have a matching user name to mine and would hang out here poking at me and giving advice. So yes, he's aware of the red pill. We talk about this stuff all the time. He does explicitly understand the role of the man in the relationship. It's an unfortunate state of affairs that so many men do not. It's not that I disagree with RPW tactics but I think that they are not always used as tools. I'm trying to think of how to phrase this... individual people and relation…
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/22 05:36 PM
9

Thank you! He didn't wear a helmet? Yeah I know. I have the same feeling about it. He is .... not risk averse. I took a spill on some gravel a few years ago. Allllll the gear for me thank you very much. Did you always see him as a leader? How did your dynamic change over the years? In the beginning of our relationship, I was under the impression that a relationship was supposed to be equal. I didn't understand the concept of complementary. I saw us as being in it together and we didn't fight ove…
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/22 05:12 PM
15

I believe we are a team. So overall, yes, I believe in having his back even if he's wrong. If we are on the same team then public disagreement is off the table. There are caveats to this. If we are with a group of friends having a lively debate then I would state my own opinion. I don't mind disagreeing on the nuance of something in appropriate company. But overall, if he is saying "this is the way" I'm not going to turn to someone else and say "he's wrong". I've quietly expressed my views away …
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/22 05:03 PM
1

You are welcome :-)
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/22 03:54 PM
4

Yes they were. We had talked about it on occasion when we were dating. He had done it before so it wasn't necessarily an un-experienced fantasy that I felt compelled to fulfill. I was also not opposed to trying that out. I think after marriage, we both felt that we were on more stable footing for it to happen without too much drama than it might have been prior to marriage.
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/22 03:53 PM
24

Well, you assumed that a nice Catholic boy who wanted to make dinner for you, at his house, with his family, was up to no good and you dismissed him. It's not a surprise that he took that rejection as a rejection and moved on. If he's as high value as you say then he has options other than you. It's funny that you have a high n-count but have decided to withhold sex until commitment. This is exactly what men complain about. I'm not suggesting you should do anything outside of your values, but yo…
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/22 05:43 PM
14

What exactly are you looking for from us?
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/22 05:35 PM
3

I ask him if he still flirts with and seduces her like he did when she was 25. The answer is almost always "no, who has the energy Yes. And while I haven't been to the male subs in a while, it used to be that this was the core message/solution. 'Yes, hypergamy exists and so you must continue to flirt with your wife'. I've never experienced hypergamy as this constant desire to blow up a relationship and trade up that the men describe. Ah, see I have. It wasn't so much a desire to blow up a relati…
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/22 01:08 AM
4

"the more people she's slept with, the harder she is to satisfy" So the first flaw in this argument is that it assumes that casual sex is good for women which is rare. BUT I'm of the opinion that what happens is that women get addicted to the excitement or newness of a relationship. There are different feels at 1 month and 5 years right. So if you are so used to the feelings that accompany a new relationship or fling the calmness of a long term thing might feel less satisfying. I don't think tha…
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/22 12:22 AM
5

In my experience, this is a problem that has more to do with a woman feeling like she's settled than it does with the number of previous partners. OBVIOUSLY, the more partners you have the more you risk "the best sex ever" being someone other than the man you married. This is why I have always said that I was holding onto my husband come hell or high water. He was the best sex I had and so I was GOING to make it work. BUT, sex over the long haul has time to develop and find each others buttons a…
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/22 10:22 PM
6

Did you ask him why he was annoyed? I was just throwing options out there. If you don't know or you are guessing then you need to discuss this with him. It's possible that his response won't be something you can accept. That's what vetting is for. It's possible that you did something that he is reasonably annoyed by and then it's your job to not repeat the issue (if you want to continue seeing him) My husband said "I would be annoyed just knowing that she wasn't using the Adderall responsibly an…
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/22 05:46 PM
4

This story feels like it is missing context. As you tell it, your boyfriend is a jerk who was dismissive because you got lightheaded. I suspect that his side of the story is different. Did he tell you not to push yourself? Not to go on a hot day? That he wanted to go alone? What is the surrounding context to this story and if you don't know you need to ask him why he was annoyed with you. And if he was just annoyed because you were sick then he's a jerk and you shouldn't trust him.
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/22 05:16 PM
21

There are always little resentments when you look over the scope of a lifetime. I have a damned solid marriage, better than a lot of people I know. I've had the same frustrations that the OP describes here. Don't focus on the kids, that's not the point. The idea is that you have to change your own mindset to not let life's frustrations turn into big fights or long term resentments.
/r/RedPillWomen03/08/22 08:01 PM
4

It sounds as though you are more upset that he waited to ask until you were "locked in" by engagement. What are you feeling about all this? I'm asking because you should get everything in your head calm before you approach him about it. If you go into the conversation angry then he won't feel like he can be honest. You want honest. You want him to feel like he can tell you what he's thinking on the topic. Be curious and interested. You can take time to process whatever he says and have Part 2 if…
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/22 11:45 AM
2

I am a financial advisor by trade so yes I have a small idea how the US tax code works.
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/22 01:20 AM
3

Not all jobs give you a flexible schedule. Not all parents want to give their children to someone else to raise. That is not the way the tax code works. This is not based in any sort of reality.
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/22 12:47 AM
2

What exactly is the women's sub supposed to take away from this?
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/22 12:00 AM
2

I'm curious if you are speaking from your experience in a short or long term relationship. This isn't to disparage your views but once a relationship hits a certain level you cannot be "on" all the time. My husband can be fairly aggressive and frankly dangerous when someone sets themselves against him (and I'm not talking about an abuse situation with me, he's strong, disagreeable and a brilliant tactician). I married him because I am fiercely attracted and confident that he will come out of any…
/r/RedPillWomen19/07/22 01:31 PM
1

Why?
/r/RedPillWomen18/07/22 12:40 PM
6

I think this every time I see people take about six figures as the marker of "he make so much money" Student loans and high cost of living can quickly eat away at your income.
/r/RedPillWomen18/07/22 12:38 PM
4

😁 I don't know what your starting point is but there are definitely ways to do girly and feminine without going full Donna Reed. I have a few housewife dresses in my closet but I'm most comfortable in skinny jeans and boots. You don't have to blow past your comfort zone just because other women tell you how great lace and ballet flats are.
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/22 06:51 PM
5

Have you considered moving towards a rockabilly type of femme look? The tattoos are part and parcel of that aesthetic. The tats may be contributing to how women perceive you but so many people have them that it's not going to hold you back if you soften the rest of your image. And it's certainly not a reason to not post here. Don't let the trads tell you otherwise.
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/22 04:33 PM
1

I do think there is rising interracial violence, it just doesn't originate with white people being violent towards other races as the OP fears.
/r/RedPillWomen15/07/22 06:59 PM
3

I'm average height and the calc gave me 1350 for maintenance. I put in sedentary life so a little extra chasing Kao and Mae-Hem and maybe that ups it but I'd get fat on 2000 calories a day. And I don't want to be fat.
/r/RedPillWomen13/07/22 11:33 PM
10

The OP doesn't mention having an eating disorder. This isn't about you so stop taking up the comment section with your copes.
/r/RedPillWomen13/07/22 10:10 PM
10

My husband and I got together when we were in our mid 20s. We both came from families that provided bad role models for relationships. His parents had a contentious divorce where his mother took the kids and ran to a different state in the middle of the night. My parents remain married with a nagging wife /passive aggressive husband dynamic. We fought a lot. If I told my story on RPW, I'm confident that I would have been told that I should leave. Over time we matured and figured some things out.…
/r/RedPillWomen13/07/22 12:02 PM
3

It's a disconnect in values. You seem pretty mad that I pointed out that pro-choice women may not be desirable partners for pro-life men. And on RPW we know that getting fucked isn't really a prize. We recommend women do not sleep around excessively and instead seek out men who want to commit to them. That means having similar values. I'm well aware of how pro-choice works. I volunteered as an escort for Planned Parenthood when I was in my 20s. I'm not sure you understand how pro-life works thou…
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/22 01:36 AM
5

Conservative men found at a church in Texas won't give a flip about the pro-choice advocates leaving the state. Those women were never competition for her. Thus they are completely irrelevant.
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/22 01:12 AM
3

Seems unlikely that those women would be in the same category as an RPW looking for a traditional man. Which is to say, I fail to see the relevance of this.
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/22 01:04 AM
21

I just want to second what u/breadcake5245 said about weight. I've had two, gained about 50lbs with each (and am back at 108lbs now, my second is 1.5). Other than checking my weight at appointments, I didn't ever get lectures on gaining more than I was "supposed to". Don't let the weight stress you. Especially if you are thin, your body packs on what you need to be healthy and holds onto it while you are breastfeeding. This doctor's staff lied to their boss to cover a screw up (your appointment …
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/22 11:06 PM
4

But suggesting that there is a personal barrier to divorce ("hefty financial, emotional and practical / time management toll") is different than saying that a divorce lowers RMV. There is the "cheaper to keep her" contingent along with men that are simply unwilling to make the leap. Some men will take an unhappy marriage and cheat rather than divorce. As u/livelylychee wrote - it's not great to weaponize marriage. Sure, marriage locks you in. It doesn't lock you in enough to rely on the legal co…
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/22 01:09 AM
3

I'm don't think I understand the distinction you are making. If his Relationship Market Value is lowered because his time/money is taken, then he will be less appealing. I've not seen this play out in real life. There ARE women who would not date a father -- which is what you would expect from a declining RMV -- but for the most part, by the age we are talking about (late thirties and onward), kids and income are not that much of a deterrent for women when choosing a man. There are even some you…
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/22 12:59 AM
5

Once you have children it won't really matter as much imo, he will have to hand over a large chunk of income for their care and Itll take his RMV down. Untrue. There are some women that will turn down a man with kids but it doesn't work the same way as men not wanting a woman with kids. Men will stay for the kids but that is a terribly reason to let yourself go or to stop trying in a relationship. Instead of having a great relationship you will be cohabitating friends with kids. It's not the sam…
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/22 12:11 AM
80

Men are always going to look but that does not mean that beauty is the only thing of value. We promote it so heavily on RPW because we live in a culture where things like "healthy at any size" exist. Women chop off their hair and dye it Caribbean Blue and then let it fade to Atlantic Ocean Blue. We wear yoga pants and t-shirts and call that dressed. In this market, wearing a dress and fixing your hair IS important to get the attraction of a man. It sets you apart because many women are fighting …
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/22 10:29 PM
1

I wonder more about the sapiosexual thing. Are there people who say "nah, give me someone who will blow off their hand with fireworks for my life partner"
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/22 07:56 PM
2

LMAO and here I thought you were just giving advice for young women to date older men because you are old and single. I stand corrected.
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/22 07:20 PM
1

Actual research or "what i see around me" research?
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/22 06:17 PM
6

First, why is this person genderless? Sorry that's only a little relevant but it's so weird when people ask for advice while trying to be as vague as humanly possible. And you are vague. So without any additional information - he's just not into you. Some people aren't interested in extensive communication via text. He could also be one of those. We would have to have more information about the rest of the relationship to judge. But if he doesn't respond for days and hasn't given you any other r…
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/22 05:45 PM
2

I don't think the statistics bear this out.
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/22 01:30 PM
2

I'm in my very late 30s but when my husband and I were around your age we had a conversation. I said I didn't really feel like a "grown up" and he said that he had felt like a grown up since we got married. Shortly thereafter we had a baby. THAT made me feel like a grown up. Basically, getting married made him responsible for me (at least in his mind). Being a wife doesn't carry the same psychological weight as being the husband. Being a mother, that does. You are definitely responsible for anot…
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/22 02:01 AM
2

I grew up with a prickly and sarcastic mother and then spent high school with a lot of gay boys. Sarcasm was my language. At around 20 I decided that I was going to be a nicer person. I had no idea how but I kept telling people that I was trying to be nicer and telling myself. Mostly I tried to think before the sarcastic comment came out. It probably took 10 years before I felt like I was a different person in that regard. I can still bring it out when I choose but it's not my automatic response…
/r/RedPillWomen20/06/22 01:59 PM
2

I saw the post history after he disappeared. I don't even have words honestly. He should be happy with more people homeschooling. It seems like he doesn't really like his job. Fewer students and parents might be good for him. I won't even begin to make suggestions about the other stuff in there.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/22 12:30 AM
3

I must have missed that one when I was taking Number Theory. 🤪 I'm rereading this whole post and if I had to guess, he's the submissive one in his relationship - with a higher earning wife - and doesn't understand why he's unhappy. Perhaps I'm wrong but all his spiraling excuses just scream justifying beta. "I do all the chores and rub my wife's feet every night" ... Um ok 🤨
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/22 12:19 AM
4

While I don't disagree, sometimes I like a good fight where the sub gets to pile on until the idiot deletes the post. I'm guessing this guy went to bed (he's in the UK) and will wake up and get flustered and delete everything. He doesn't handle disagreement at all. Even if the mods remove the post, his day will be ruined when he gets all the comments in his inbox.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/22 12:08 AM
5

I am super puzzled how that's an achievement in his mind.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/22 11:49 PM
7

Many husbands don't parent when they get home if they have a sahm. This is the first thing I thought when the OP talked about his friends staying at home. I think that both men and women do unseen labor that is...well unseen ... when these conversations about domestic labor are had. The feministy types who complain that men don't do enough around the house arent acknowledging the fact that it's a man's job typically to fix the toilet when it breaks (as a for instance). Men who want to complain a…
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/22 09:36 PM
11

I didn't say that other people should homeschool, I said that we do. You really have not made any rational arguments but you have gotten super offended by disagreements. I don't know how I'm supposed to think that I want you teaching my kids. Massive levels of fuck you and your ignorant, pathetic, insulting comment I don't typically do this but uh, I'm smarter than you. It's pretty obvious by your writing and our discussion. The fact that you consider knowing enough math to teach kids when I hav…
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/22 09:21 PM
6

Ironically your points about teachers are what you’re saying is wrong with my opinion. l Irony- the expression of one's meaning by using language that normally signifies the opposite, typically for humorous or emphatic effect. Irony is not "in my opinion what you are saying is wrong". This isn't supposed to be about you. You really don't know how to defend this position. You have, however, justified us homeschooling.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/22 08:58 PM
12

This isn’t to shame anyone...but it social issues aside, it isn’t hard work. Not to shame anyone but shame? This topic has nothing to do with you because neither you nor your wife stays home it sounds like. It has little to do with because I have a job and work from home. So understand that I'm not taking this personally but I don't think you have a good argument and I think your perspective is uninformed. There IS a hot mess mom idea out there in the ether. It's not how respectable people shoul…
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/22 08:40 PM
11

I took the idea of your post to be that people should stay home but that you don't think that staying home is work. Instead of arguing with your point- because you preempted that by saying that anyone who thinks staying home is hard work is foolish- I turned it around to suggest that working isn't as hard as people make it out to be. It was a rhetorical tactic not an honest argument about whatever you do. My overall point is that it's toxic to relationships to do what you are doing here. We can …
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/22 08:11 PM
29

Going to work isn't hard. You get to sit at a computer for 8 hours (plus lunch) and have peace and quiet and focus. We need to change the image people have of the working person. It conjures a man who is so focused on making money that his family falls by the wayside. But most jobs have a lot of leeway built in and you have 8 hours to get it done. Rarely does a job actually require a 40 work week. People are just so used to slacking off part of the time and pretending they are so busy. If you fo…
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/22 07:52 PM
11

Men don't really belong here Men definitely don't belong here if they aren't giving helpful and RP advice. My sarcasm is running rampant not rabid. Yes I know what shacking up means. It's not advice. It's not even a full sentence.
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/22 08:51 PM
5

Such sage advice. Thank you for gracing us with your wisdom
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/22 08:33 PM
2

And she has told it so well, that people still talk about it, I disagree. Generally this would be a good metric for literature but What we read is dictated in part by what is published and promoted. Then it is also dictated by what is in your high school and college curriculum. It was in my HS curriculum. Is it so good of a story or does it fit the narrative that we are given (particularly in college liberal arts). The patriarchy is evil, women are wonderful and we are told this is true by teach…
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/22 07:28 PM
8

In any internet forum there are fake people who are there to push a narrative or get users worked up. Take everything you read with a grain of salt. Then there are actual crazy people who do not know how to think for themselves. They feel something and look for their media to tell them the reason they feel that way. It doesn't matter that it doesn't make sense because it feels right. Logic is not the name of the game anymore. The claims that we are headed for Gilead are dumb. They are extreme rh…
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/22 12:17 AM
10

Maybe I'm missing something, but I don't see all this shaming of SAHMs that I hear about here. I've seen it but not as crazy as people suggest. I've worked for two separate men of two separate generations who have looked down on clients who are SAHMs. It isn't a huge tirade, it's a shake of the head and a "what does she do with her life" attitude. I've seen gay men use the term "breeder" in mockery and disgust. I've seen women do the "well it's fine if it works for her but I could never..." So I…
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/22 12:03 AM
4

First, I've only read the book. It's a dystopian novel from a feminist perspective. So to believe that it has any bearing on reality you have to first assume that feminist have a clue what they are talking about. especially concerning abortion No one has taken away the ability to have an abortion. Roe v Wade is done under the right to privacy and has always allowed for some government intervention. Overturning it has done very little bring us towards a polygamous culture with forced surrogacy. T…
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/22 09:15 PM
7

Yes but every few months we have to discuss how we are headed for a Gilead situation because vague feministy reasons. 🤦
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/22 08:58 PM
4

I don't think you know yourself very well.
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/22 10:55 PM
7

Ah I see. If you read the rules- there actually are guidelines for asking for advice. No one follows them but they are there and they ask people to mention their sex lives because they are important and often have importance. And going through post history is not uncommon either. People forget things and leave things out and it can give a more accurate picture. In addition, we have a rule that goes - advice should be for the OP because she is the one here and you can't change anyone but yourself…
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/22 10:16 PM
3

We are going off of the last post you made. If there were others then we didn't connect them to you so we are just going off of the last post. I'm entirely in favor of repairing a marriage but what you are suggesting sounds beyond repair - a fact that you seem to acknowledge. If you tried everything and nothing worked, I am at a loss what you think people are going to tell you? And when you are bleeding and suicidal - few people have a value system that will allow them to tell you to stay.
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/22 10:06 PM
5

You do sound defensive though. It's fine to disagree with an internet stranger's interpretation but you didn't just disagree, you dialed it up to 11. Why?
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/22 09:31 PM
4

If I recall the last post before you deleted it, you are feeling misunderstood by everyone in your life. If your parents think it's a problem, and your doctor thinks it's a problem and the random strangers on this sub and others think it's a problem... Eventually the common denominator is you. You are the only one that thinks it's not a problem. You can continue to navigate the relationship using the strategies that have been posted about in the books, the wiki, the top posts. How to "RPW" is al…
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/22 09:15 PM
7

There are a variety of sources for RPW. The biggest of course is TRP and the manosphere. Even those things are interpreted from the women's perspective here though. There are books that are often referenced but reading them isn't specifically required. I've never read Fascinating Womanhood. I started to and it wasn't for me. I do push For Women Only because I think it's a great way to understand men. Surrendered Wife is great but geared towards a particular relationship dynamic that needs correc…
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/22 08:05 PM
6

Yeah I'm with you. The fixation on chastity boggles my mind. I wouldn't tell women to go against their values but i simply don't believe it is as important to the health of the relationship as it is made out to be.
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/22 01:57 PM
6

I'm not redpilled in alot of ways, because I came at this from a bdsm point of view, not a religious one. One of my favorite former endorsed RPWs came from a 24/7 bdsm relationship. The sub isn't supposed to be a religious one. It is supposed to look at male/female relationships from the perspective of what is practical and effective rather than "right" or "moral".
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/22 01:51 PM
9

There is a wiki that will give you a better indication of the subs ideas than scrolling through posts. When you scroll through posts on a sub that mostly gives advice, you are going to see people who are having problems AND it is a snapshot in time if what people are thinking about at this moment. It isn't the best indication of anything. Usually there will be a string of similar posts because that is how the human brain works. The books, the wiki, all of it, is here to help us be good partners …
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/22 01:44 PM
51

Your mom probably isn't a boomer if you are a teenager. Normally I would say that that is beside the point but here I have to wonder if you DO spend too much time on the internet. I think that you chose to assume she's a boomer because complaining about them is very trendy online From your post it sounds like you do spend a lot of time online and you can and do research questions instead of asking your mom for help. If you want to know how to turn on the oven... Well have you asked? You are incr…
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/22 12:33 PM
4

What have you done to address this so far?
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/22 06:45 AM
3

it sucks that there is literally nowhere I can go without having to be very selective about what I tell people, Yes, everyone needs advice sometimes and no relationship is perfect. But they need advice to get back to a happy and stable balance that is good for both partners. No one knows how to give you advice because what you have is not happy and stable. People aren't going to feel comfortable helping because they will feel as though they are enabling you. And the closer you are to the people …
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/22 06:52 PM
5

Yes yes I know RP theory. I don't think you understand what is being said and you certainly should not presume to know the OPs mindset. That's a bit much. You really can't see this from the women's side can you.j
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/22 07:36 AM
12

A man being responsive and keeping his word is suddenly putting women on a pedestal? I've been on someone's pedestal and I don't think that is what the OP is describing. If a man wants a girlfriend, he needs to put effort in. That doesn't mean the woman does not put effort in. It just means that a woman shouldnt accept a man's mere existence as sufficient for a long term prospect.
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/22 11:39 PM
9

I think that you are missing OP's point. If a guy isn't putting in at least an equal amount of effort to the relationship, then a woman should not stay with him. Obviously both people need to bring something to the table. But neither should accept a partner who doesn't find space in their lives for the relationship. In a marriage, you have already vetted and made a lifetime commitment. You accept a lot more because life gets messy. If my boyfriend doesn't take me out on dates but just wants to s…
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/22 11:36 PM
3

I can't take you seriously. You made a lot of bad faith arguments and then came up with a batshit crazy idea. I don't know if you are not too bright, a troll or legitimately losing it. But I'm out.
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/22 11:08 PM
3

I am not usually one to do the whole moralizing "I feel bad for the kid" but JFC I feel bad for the kid. Hopefully it's a closed adoption and she never comes looking for you cause oof that would hurt.
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/22 10:48 PM
3

This just sounds insane. You asked about age gap relationships - something that you are not required to have yourself - didnt like the answers and now you are going to be a surrogate? So, what? You couldn't get men to conform to your ideas so you are going to have a kid to influence. That's going to work out well.
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/22 10:42 PM
4

First we talked about alpha and beta traits and every man who came through was the alpha-y-ist of all and no man in the whole world wanted to get married, he knew, trust him. So it changed to HVM. Now all men are making 6+ figures because that is what they assume that is what qualifies as high vlaue (they are also all 6 ft tall). My baseline qualifications were: a white collar job, an ability to fix stuff and diy, white, a non-practicing Christian, in shape and good looking. My 6ft tall ex, the …
/r/RedPillWomen23/05/22 09:42 AM
5

I imagine you are reeling. So look, I'm one of the most anti-feminist women you will meet here and I very much doubt that this relationship has anything to do with your recovering feminism/switching gears. Do you have stuff you can work on? Sure because we all do and our attitudes towards men are often colored by the culture around us and the culture is distinctly anti man (among other things). But if this is actually his break up speech? Yeah this was always where this was headed and the most g…
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/22 03:54 PM
3

It’s not the first time he’s brought up long term commitment only to take it back within days when I do something “wrong.” This is why I say it's not a coincidence. He seems to be saying the right thing, so in your head you think "we are talking about marriage" and then a few days later you fight and you are pushed back from any real progression towards marriage. Is he afraid to commit, or is it more that he’s using me? I am not in his head and I am not hearing his side of the story so I honestl…
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/22 11:53 AM
10

I saw some of your exchange with vanhelsing2020. I also saw some of his comments to other people. If he reminds you of your bf, then you should be aware that he is a type of guy who is very proud of his ability to get women and spin plates. He's not looking for anything more, thinks marriage is out to get him and is probably not great at turning a relationship into a ltr. I don't know how similar your guy is. Everything you've written sounds questionable at best. The fact that he threw a fit abo…
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/22 01:29 AM
21

Some women can be ok with their men having mistresses or hall passes. What you are trying to decide is if you are one of those women. This is not the drugs it is him. I say this because my husband is prescribed Adderall and has taken it as long as I've know him. I can see it fray him around the edges sometimes but nothing like what you are describing. If he is abusing it then that is something else to contemplate. It is true that you may not end up with someone who has as much money. You may hav…
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/22 10:46 PM
9

Since I don't know how long you've been together or anything else about your relationship, I'll give you the obligatory: you can't change him and you are still vetting. Make sure that you want to stay with this man as he is not as you hope he will be. Ok done that stuff An argument like this is minor. It's not "let's have kids" or "I don't think I want to get married" But when you disagree with everything/most of/a lot of the things he says then he's going to get frustrated. And being disagreed …
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/22 08:07 PM
11

What sorts of topics are you fighting about? Is it a difference in values?
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/22 03:53 PM
15

I really am too tired and busy to write an appropriately extensive response. But I am exhausted by RPW pretending that sex too soon is the answer to all relationship ills. u/Advanced_Bar_673 has the best response in this post so far. The OP didn't give a clear enough picture of these relationships to say that sex too soon is the factor. And sex too soon is only really a factor for some men in some communities. We don't know enough about the OPs situation to diagnose anything. She may be correct.…
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/22 02:40 PM
12

You are going to tell me what this sub advocates? That's rich. We do advocate being sexually selective but that isn't what you've said. Honestly, I'm too tired to be told by someone that I've never seen before what the sub advocates. Maybe you should read some wiki posts. Whisper's written a bunch that apply. So has Sunshinesundress.
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/22 01:56 PM
22

I honestly believe sex is the dealbreaker in every scenario. This idea has to end. It is simply not true that having sex with the man you are seeing is going to ruin anything. And even if you disagree "every situation" is extremely hyperbolic
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/22 01:28 PM
3

First you have to ask yourself how important marriage is to you. What I think on the topic doesn't matter and what the rest of the sub thinks doesn't matter. AND there isn't a right answer. If you have to be married to be comfortable and you will fight and be unhappy if he never married you, then you will proceed in a different way than if you would rather take the man and are willing to keep him without getting married. I was going to write you a much longer response but something just crashed …
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/22 12:49 PM
2

Thank you. I'm an economics girl so I see everything as trade offs. Plus I'm a fence sitter. It's hard to do sanctimony when you see both sides. I'm awesome at sarcasm though 😁
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/22 12:42 PM
2

You know, you always comment and I always struggle to think of an intelligent sounding response. So much of how I understand RP comes from what you've written and chats we've had. It makes it so that all I often have to say is "well yes I agree" And now two days have gone by. I felt my age with this one. Because my immediate feeling when you talked about 13 year olds was to be protective and defensive. Apparently I am now at an age when I can no longer identify with girls that young. I have to g…
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/22 12:40 PM
5

My husband, bless him, doesn’t want to hear about any prior exploits This is so true. I think that a lot of women under the influence of I don't know what, think they should share their history with their man. If he's not asking, there is no reason to offer the information.
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/22 04:13 PM
8

Nah it's all good. And I agree with you. It's way more of a big deal here than I think it is in reality. I was not an original rpw so I don't know how it was at the beginning. I think the incel influence on TRP (after their sub closed) plus the influence of non-western men has pushed the "virgin at all costs" narrative. Then there is a strong trad element on rpw that also sides with the idea. PLUS there was a push for awhile to avoid being called plate school. So any talk of sex was done with lo…
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/22 01:47 AM
11

Slut-shaming is the only part about RPW that makes me uncomfortable, but if people prefer to stay modest, I also feel that's totally fine. I don't think that it's quite slut shaming. There are men who do and there are women who put too much stock in their virginity IMO. I think that we are so used to sex positivity being promoted and we are taught to think anything that doesn't say "go find yourself have much sex" is slut shaming. I think we all need to take a look at what the risks are vs what …
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/22 12:58 AM
13

So my husband did ask me and it was in context in a conversation we were having. We were younger and I cannot imagine taking seriously at 38 what I did at 24. My count was lower than his and he is a confident man so he wasn't comparing himself. That said, I've gathered over the years that he would have been happier if it had been lower. It's only something that has ever come up (after the first time) because I am in these spaces and so we discuss these sorts of things. He's a smart man and would…
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/22 12:51 AM
8

So the point in all of this is that you looked at the risks and weighed them and made the appropriate decision for your life. Everything I wrote about is a risk. You are disagreeing with me about how much of a risk it is. That's actually not a judgement I made here because I also made my own decisions about the risks. I will push back that you are in a particular community that takes safety into account more than the guy at last call at the bar. Just because some people are more cautious does no…
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/22 12:36 AM
7

This is a completely reasonable take and I agree that a woman should use whatever tools she has in her toolbox. And some men do have issues with it, that is certainly a known factor. There is also a chance that an awesome guy will pass you up if you don't put out by date three (or whenever). This is the terrain that we are dealing with and we can only take smart risks if we have as much information to consider as possible
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/22 12:29 AM
7

I don't blame sex education. I had decent age appropriate sex-ed and that wasn't not what encouraged me to have sex. So yes, I agree with you that we should still be giving teens all the information they need to make good decisions. I think it's much more about what you see in culture (tv etc) as "normal" that is sending messages about casual sex. And I'm not sure where I land on sex positivity but I do worry about girls who see their identity as "virgin" as much as I worry about girls who are g…
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/22 12:25 AM
19

Yes. These are all things that need to be considered when we are contemplating sex with a new person. Too often the bp world says "go for it, it's empowering" and the RP world says "think about what the men want". This is our bodies, our risks and our decision and we need to make it with open eyes and full of information. Thank you I'll get off my soapbox now.
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/22 12:19 AM
8

Also, high value men usually have the confidence to not be concerned that a woman's prior partners might make for unfavourable comparisons. I think that most men these days recognize that a virgin bride is highly unlikely. My point in this post is that there are plenty of reasons to be selective regardless of what men think. Everything is about the trade offs for men and women. So yes, confident men are probably much more cavalier about count but that doesn't necessarily mean we should be encour…
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/22 12:12 AM
11

I dont disagree and last week it was another man (pretending to be a woman). There is room for their voices but we don't need them to tell us what we are feeling. As if a man could understand fully what a woman deals with regarding sex. But with this last post in particular I felt like there had been potential and talking about sex without the "but this is what men want" was actually quite important. I don't discount what they want (well I do because I'm married so only one man counts) but there…
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/22 12:06 AM
10

I'll say this, sex with my husband is an entirely different experience which is why I held onto him. When I started to trust him (submitting to him) it became something much more than what I'd ever experienced before. Your whole last paragraph sounds like you've given up and I hope that's not the case.
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/22 11:58 PM
2

women suffer due to not knowing what they want I think this is true. In some ways you are lucky that you had strong values that you were able to lean on (and hold on to). At the same time, I think the reason we don't know what we want is because of all the blue pilled messaging.
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/22 10:31 PM
6

Okay...? Like many women, I'm using personal anecdotes to make my point. That is that you are claiming (or at least implying) to have an insight into the connection that others have. From the outside, this EC knew the foundations of RP theory and seemed to be on the path that you yourself are on (marry young, only each other, very trad) but behind the scenes, his life was a mess. I on the other hand, had not followed the RP path and most of the problems in my relationship were very minor. You ca…
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/22 06:20 PM
9

They probably don't have the intimacy (described here) either. You are making a big of assumptions here. You don't see into the bedrooms of others. We once had an endorsed member who was very strongly on the trad side. We got along well but he preached a very conservative view of sex while having a marriage that he was wildly unhappy with. He constantly complained that his wife was a feminist and depressed and they didn't ever have sex. Meanwhile my husband and I were doing very non-trad things …
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/22 11:07 AM
7

Additionally, it's really up to the man to decide whether or not he'll reject a woman for being a slut. His definition is all that really matters. It is always up to the individuals in a relationship to decide what is ok within their value system. BUT Slut describes a pattern not a single instance. You'd get the side eye from most modern men and women if you called a girl a slut because she had sex with her boyfriend and then they broke up. Can a future guy reject her for not being a virgin, yes…
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/22 11:14 PM
4

But what about when she is an excellent partner, but she just isn't excellent for him? I think the bar for slut is higher than one partner. We (society) can debate whether this good or bad but a few partners by a certain age is common today. So one failed relationship isn't going to get a girl labeled as a slut. It's partner after partner that becomes a problem. And if you keep falling short then it's not a case of "great but not great for him"
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/22 06:32 PM
4

If this were the case: it is men - not women - who make women into sluts. Because ultimately, it is the man who chooses to stay with her or not. She can be the best partner, but he still has to choose. The idea is that men have to earn sex and women have to earn commitment. If men are the gatekeepers of commitment then it is a woman's job to be someone he wants to commit to. If she has sex with him but that is all she has going for her then it is on her if he leaves. She needs to bring more to t…
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/22 02:57 PM
12

My first was my on again off again ex. We weren't dating at the time but after we had sex we started dating again. We both wasted quite a bit of time in a relationship that we didn't belong in. After we broke up and moved on, we agreed that a marriage (where we were headed we thought) would have ended in divorce within a few years. When my husband and I got together (a few years later) it was the best sex I'd ever had. He had other partners and so had I. He was the only man I ever wanted to keep…
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/22 02:14 PM
4

This idea of commitment as an emotion comes out of Whispers posts about The Talk being dumb and tone deaf. RP owns and redefines a lot of words to help us talk about the concepts. Alpha and beta are meh but they give us words to talk about attraction traits vs comfort traits. We do it when we talk about hypergamy too. The strict definition and the RP understanding of it are different things. Don't get too bogged down by the variations in definitions. These are two separate concepts. Are you sure…
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/22 05:26 PM
5

Everyone is basically telling you that happiness is a choice and for the most part I agree with them. My strategy as a former complainer is to look at the trade offs. For example: We bought a small house that needs a lot of work. It's not my happy place ... But ... When my husband was laid off we could pay the bills with my check. When inflation started to skyrocket we didn't feel the pinch because we weren't putting all our funds into a mortgage. My girls learn to put work into things instead o…
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/22 04:44 PM
7

This one belongs in the wiki.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/22 03:25 PM
1

Well they are two separate things and understand that I'm giving you a very brief and high level answer. Only Fans, porn, sugar babies...these things all change your perspective on sex. I have seen it with the women who come here. You can't get stuff off the internet and this has the chance to follow you where you don't want it to in the short and long term. Casual sex -- some people can do this and not be too broken and some become jaded and unhappy. It's rarely fulfilling and it's very short t…
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/22 03:04 PM
2

So much of what we think are choices have been influenced by the culture around us. We can do a lot of things that aren't good for us. And not everything has to be about "well he can do it why can't I". That's a child's view of the world.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/22 02:37 PM
3

Feminism is a social and political ideology. However a lot of people use it as a catch all for "I'm a woman and I should have the choice to live as I wish" If you say you are Catholic but you don't believe that Jesus was the son of God then you aren't really Catholic. If you are claiming to be a feminist but you are a wife who defers to your husband, you aren't really a feminist because, as the OP outlines, that is very against the general beliefs and goals of feminism. It is possible to agree w…
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/22 08:51 PM
3

Oh so you don't remember what the books were called and didn't read them but you know that they are anti male and feminist. And you hid it from your husband. So you are either a liar or a bad wife. Sounds like you have quite a bit of atoning to do.
/r/RedPillWomen28/04/22 08:16 PM
8

In what way was it anti man? If you don't understand what she is reading and thinking then how can you even begin to have a real conversation with her about it.
/r/RedPillWomen28/04/22 07:38 PM
11

What do you mean by "support". At the point a child is choosing career or babies, they are no longer a child and it's out of a parents hands.
/r/RedPillWomen28/04/22 07:32 PM
5

Check out the comment where she asks that we don't judge her. 🧐
/r/RedPillWomen28/04/22 07:30 PM
2

I thought the post was the explanation and I was simply agreeing.
/r/RedPillWomen28/04/22 07:28 PM
6

Wow, crazy story. What feminist literature was she reading?
/r/RedPillWomen28/04/22 07:16 PM
0

But you are not a housewife so your opinion doesn't really apply here.
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/22 08:02 PM
4

Oh I totally agree that people treat feminism as a religion. To my mind, the difference is that religion admits that you must take things on faith whereas Feminism claims to be based in proveable facts. Either way I don't think you should claim labels that you don't understand fully.
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/22 12:29 PM
3

She's done a lot of interviews that are on YouTube. You can just say that you don't want to instead of "that's literally not possible"
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/22 06:27 PM
27

Oh that makes sense. Sad for him and maybe in his case it was true. But I think that you can mitigate the problems by remembering that your relationship with your partner is still important. I find it frustrating when people give advice: "I failed so you will too".
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/22 06:24 PM
5

You should listen to Camille Paglia talk about how she was banned from feminism.
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/22 06:15 PM
40

We had two kids back to back. I am exhausted. When one sleeps the night the other wakes up. My parents call them Kaos and Mae-Hem. Still wouldn't trade it. Neither would my husband. Our relationship is fine because we know we are in it together. He's exhausted as much as I am and we support each other. Your doctor has overstepped his place here. I can't even imagine what his motivation is.
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/22 06:13 PM
5

So you are a offended that I said there are thought leaders but then cited RBG as an important voice. I don't think you have a sound argument here. You want feminism to be what you think it is. That's simply not the case. We can agree to disagree. I may even be wrong in my opinion but you are definitely wrong with your interpretation of what feminism is.
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/22 06:11 PM
7

It's a social and political movement. It shouldn't evolve IMO. There should be an issue that people agree to work on, they succeed or fail and then pack up and go home. Then when there is another issue, a different set of people can get together and work on it ... Etc. If you evolve a movement you are moving the goal posts so there is no actual end game.
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/22 06:01 PM
4

I think that a true study of gender should overlap with RP understandings of the world. Most liberal feminism these days is more about how they want the world to be rather than what it is. If you take the tools from either toolbox then you are just a person using good ideas. That's awesome. If you have to call yourself an RPW or a Feminist then you are telling the world that you agree with what "movement" says and does.
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/22 02:29 PM
7

You aren't really a feminist if you disagree with the main thought leaders. You can, and should, have independent thought. You should not be tied to a label because it's popular.
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/22 02:25 PM
4

But do you know about being a busy mom? Because that is a whole other can of worms from having a busy mom. It is fine for women that want it and can do it gracefully. It's a lot though. You constantly have split focus and you have to give up time somewhere. It's not easy to have it all and it's not fun to pick what you will let slide today. Most women will feel stress and strain and should not be pushed to expect that they CAN do everything.
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/22 02:19 PM
6

A job becomes much less meaningful then if it comes at the expense of your child's happiness. I don't usually do the "motherhood is the height of my existence" thing but I've been feeling this sentiment hard lately. There are moments through the day when a kid will come for a hug or to show me something or just whatever. In those moments I'm so glad I'm there. They aren't going to break if it's not me or their dad patching up a booboo but, well it should be. It's not where I thought I'd be befor…
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/22 02:16 PM
4

So why identify as feminiat then. It is at least in part a political movement that claims to be working on behalf of women. If in fact the people who are doing the work have read the texts ..and the texts and ideas are not what the average woman wants ... The average woman should not be taking responsibility for defending the movement.
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/22 01:26 PM
13

If you are on RPW then you aren't a true feminist. That's ok. It doesn't mean that you suddenly have to give up your right to vote. It means that you can have independent opinions on issues. There is no reason we must identify as Feminist.
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/22 12:46 AM
35

I maintain that most self identified feminist do not actually know much about Feminism.
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/22 12:12 AM
13

What are the Feminist motions you don't agree with? My overall complaint about feminism is the assumption that you are feminist or you are backwards and uneducated. There is no reason that I should be required to take on an ideology because someone else believes I should. I've found that most people have not thought very much about the things they proclaim they "believe" or "think". So while women will claim to be pro choice (as a for instance...I'm not staring my own position here), they don't …
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/22 11:52 AM
4

Yes this is exactly my feelings on it. I don't think it is all good or all bad. I did it and it worked out. I know other people who did it and it didn't work out for various reasons. I think it's one of those things like sex that there isn't a good, one size fits all answer. The trads are a little bit right and the progressives are a little bit right. Personally, I had never lived with a man before my husband. Even though we moved in very quickly, I decided that I was in it for keeps and it wasn…
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/22 06:31 PM
5

Why do you think this? It's not been my experience with any conservative people.
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/22 02:09 PM
10

I guess I don't believe that the majority of people are abusive. I also think the internet skews our view of the prevalence of these situations. The issue I see is the psychological impact in viewing living together as a vetting scenario. Dating apps give the brain the idea that we can just keep scrolling to find the next better option. It becomes harder to "settle" for what is in front of you because your brain is telling you there are so many possibilities out there. This is also the problem w…
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/22 01:26 PM
10

PLEASE FUCKING LIVE TOGETHER BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS GOOD. I've reflected on this one a bit and I'm not sure what the right answer is. I lived with my husband for years before we got married. I don't think that living together has made our marriage stronger. I do think that it probably dragged out the pre-marriage relationship. Vetting is important but so too is simply commiting. Living together to test the relationship isn't commitment. Again I don't know the right ans…
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/22 12:31 PM
4

And I wasn't trying to argue with you, just to use your comment to point out that men experience fertility decline too. It's not discussed and it should be when a woman is considering a large age gap. I tell my male friends to aim younger (because we are in our thirties and forties) and it makes sense. However, young women should absolutely be made aware that older men will have their own fertility challenges.
/r/RedPillWomen30/03/22 08:59 PM
7

It's all about what is important to you right. We aren't here (rpw) to benefit men. So while, sure, it makes sense for them to look for younger women, that is irrelevant to young women. Where a guy is resource-wise matters. Where a man is fertility-wise should also matter to women. When Dad hits 40 we see more autism, higher miscarriage rates, more difficulty conceiving and higher chance for genetic mutations. While men can have kids for a lot longer, as they dont go through menopause, the risks…
/r/RedPillWomen30/03/22 08:51 PM
7

Fertility is a factor but women need to be more aware that men's fertility declines as well. They have a little longer than we do but only like, five years.
/r/RedPillWomen30/03/22 07:52 PM
8

Now there is a term that doesn't belong on rpw. First, being with someone who doesn't see you as wife material is not being a victim. Don't pretend that it does. Second, she has agency in her own life and choices. She asked why her relationships may not have been working and I offered a possibility from what I saw. I suggested something that she can control. If I had just said "your ex is a big meanie and you didn't do anything wrong" as you seem to prefer, then she cant change things. If she di…
/r/RedPillWomen30/03/22 12:27 PM
26

This is just what jumps out at me: It's certainly possible that his family was influencing him. I wouldnt discount that. It's also possible that you started acting different after meeting them. Perhaps their money or lifestyle or even their dislike made you see things in a different light. Perhaps what you viewed as hypercritical was compounded by insecurity on your part. Sometimes we make each other worse in a downward spiral. 3. However, I also became less affectionate and warm with him becaus…
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/22 11:18 PM
5

It seems to me OP was using Kate and William as an example of a couple that dated for a long time and ended in marriage. Of course they are different from the norm but the point is that there are couples that follow this path. And it draws you into the post. Are you saying her premise is wrong or just that she shouldn't have used a famous couple?
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/22 11:52 PM
11

People will always have strong opinions on either one and there will never be just one formula to encapsulate everybody Yes and I'm always dissatisfied with the concept "if he hasn't married you yet then he's not going to". Certainly that applies some of the time, but there are plenty of reasons that people engage in an extended dating period. It's not easy to find the balance between wasting time and throwing away a good man. Truly this is the first post I remember that tells women how to decid…
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/22 04:59 PM
1

Off topic question since you've dealt with this... I've been dying lately from broken sleep because demon children... Do you have any suggestions for how to support your body when fixing sleep isn't in the cards?
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/22 02:47 PM
11

Excellent post. I'm supposed to be working right now so I'll be briefer than is my wont. Husband and I were together for five or six years before we married. There were some things that needed to be checked off the life list first but he always treated our relationship as though we were in it for the long haul. We hit a lot of the points you made. Probably not all. I think every relationship is a little different so no one is going to check every point but it's a solid list to keep in mind when …
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/22 02:44 PM
11

This is definitely the red pill perspective and men have plenty of reasons to be concerned about marriage. It is my experience, that within my husband's network, most men want to marry. This is zoomers through unmarried millennials. I don't know of anyone older than millennials who remains unmarried. There are even divorcees who are looking to remarry. The problem these men face is finding women worth marrying. It's hard on both sides. So while the red pill pushes men to stay out of the marriage…
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/22 02:40 PM
5

My husband likes the sofa because it helps his back. He sleeps in bed sometimes and on the couch for stretches when he feels he needs it. When I was pregnant we slept apart more often than not. Don't overthink this. It is only a big deal if you make it into one. Let the man be comfortable. He like you better if he is well rested.
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/22 02:06 AM
16

Look, you don't need to convince me of anything. It is your life. He has an easy time believing you are the problem. It makes it seem like there are deeper issues in the relationship and his brother is a symptoms not a cause. But I'm not interested in fighting with you about your life. You asked in a public forum and I gave you my 2 cents. I don't intend to beat my head against a wall over your relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/22 06:32 PM
6

The issue with the iPad money appears to predate his brother moving in. I'm not assigning blame anywhere here. I am telling you what I see and what questions might be worth checking in with yourself about. And the fact that you answered me in a few minutes and you are so very sure you know the answers doesn't give me confidence that you have done the self reflection on the relationship. I was with my husband a long time before we got married. We fought a lot about family. I'm not judging where y…
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/22 06:18 PM
16

I read your post and my first inclination was that you have been having so many issues with this guy that it may be time to go your separate ways. But before I said that I wanted to rescan your posts. You are very hot and cold. You alternate posting that is all wonderful or all frustrating and terrible. I think you need to do some more thorough soul searching. First, what role do your own emotions play in this. Some people love drama. For others the fight-make up cycle makes them feel the love. …
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/22 05:42 PM
7

You seem to want us to justify our existence and beliefs to you. Why? I live in a way that makes me and my husband happy and fulfilled. If it doesn't make sense to you then it's not really our job to convince you. I mean, did you bother looking up the wiki? We wrote that so we didn't have to answer questions asking us to sell ourselves to strangers. And yeah, I get it, everyone is answering you because people like to talk about themselves. But seriously, you are just arguing back. Are you trying…
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/22 12:26 AM
3

This whole thing was about her not speaking for me. Do you think your take away should have been to not speak for him? 🤦
/r/RedPillWomen13/03/22 03:40 PM
2

After a while, most men who know, or can learn, how to pass a shit test, will, rather than argue, simply say "yup, I'm a misogynist". Unrelated, I learned this technique from you all and use it when dealing with leftist types making accusations. Sure I'm racist, homophobic and sexist...and your point? It's an incredibly powerful tool. But men are called "misogynists" for verbally criticizing or disagreeing with women, precisely because a great many human beings are unaware that instinct I think …
/r/RedPillWomen12/03/22 08:51 PM
4

I'm not sure what you mean by "their home turf" so I'm not sure how to respond. No matter how far in the red pill I go in practice, I still don't enjoy groups of exclusively women as I do mixed groups or just men. There are individual women that I find engaging and when I meet a woman that I connect with on that level I do my best to hold tight to that friendship. But usually adding men to a discussion makes things both more interesting and more relaxed. And I don't consider rational engagement …
/r/RedPillWomen12/03/22 08:27 PM
2

/u/girlwithasidecar is perfectly capable of deciding for herself what she thinks, whether or not I disagree. I am that. I realized when trying to answer you above that I even care about your feedback but I certainly don't need anyone's approval for my thoughts. That's one of the biggest gifts of the red pill. u/rosiemagyver - u/Whisper has known me for awhile now and has helped me to formulate a lot of my thinking on red pill topics. I didn't take any sort of offense to him pushing back. It forc…
/r/RedPillWomen12/03/22 03:42 PM
5

It's not fully articulated in my head but let me see if I can ramble out a coherent thought- I think that there is a strong push to only trust yourself and do it all for yourself. Certainly being able to adapt to new situations is not a bad thing in that scenario. However, what I was specifically considering this morning was adapting to a leaders vision (or desired lifestyle). When there is no place for the group there is no need to adapt to it. When the expectation is that we all stand on our o…
/r/RedPillWomen11/03/22 09:46 PM
12

I think perhaps you are very young. This is very difficult to read. It's all over the place and I think you are just ranting. Still some advice from an old lady: If "under the club" is a hook up spot then you absolutely should not go. If it's a venue that you don't like then you are being silly. There are many possible reasons someone might pick a venue. Vetting is good and not wasting your time is good. Nexting everyone for a trivial reason is how women end up age 35 and unhappily single. Do no…
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/22 10:36 PM
11

Don't get me wrong, I would like to be spoiled just for being a woman. I believe it is my due for being cute. Unfortunately real life disagrees and real life says we need clean dishes.
/r/RedPillWomen08/03/22 01:18 AM
5

Hmm yeah as soon as it has to be put on a flat surface she lost me. Flat surfaces are a sign to Kaos and Mae-Hem that they should run across the sheet and/or steal it away from me. 🤦
/r/RedPillWomen08/03/22 01:17 AM
18

We need a post... so you want to be a housewife ... Can you clean a bathroom? Make a meal? Fold a fitted sheet? But yeah, a lot of young women seem to think that saying they are "trad" is the path to an easy life and marriage. There is so much more to wrap you head around on the RPW relationship front alone... And that's aside from the actual work required to keep house. Plus you are totally right. Gone are the days of living at home, supported by family, until you move out to be supported by a …
/r/RedPillWomen08/03/22 12:31 AM
13

Agree! You should seek whatever you want but it will only work if you have something to offer that person in return. A relationship/family is its own entity (IMO) that both partners should be working for the success of. If that means he works and you clean - cool. That's not generous - that's looking at the responsibilities of life and dividing in a way that works for you both. Generosity implies a one sided thing and if that is really what she means... Well good luck to her.
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/22 11:05 PM
67

You have to be willing to uphold your end of the trad marriage bargain. You have to cook and keep a clean house and generally take care of him (and then later him and the kids). Your post history looks like these are things you have struggled with in the past. Do you want to take care of a man or do you just want to not work?
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/22 10:16 PM
11

My husband reran our HVAC ductwork so that the shell of cooking or the fireplace filter through the house. He said he wants to create scent memories for the kids. And apparently he has come to associate the smell of garlic with me. That's my perfume, fried garlic in olive oil 😂😂.
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/22 11:31 PM
-2

How is this advice???
/r/RedPillWomen04/03/22 12:15 PM
2

This particular aspect of our life was something that happened more due to outside circumstances. I was bored at work and we talked about whether I was going to stay and we would have kids or I was going to find something with more socializing. The rest stemmed from covid. There are other things where I have definitely deferred to his judgement because he had a plan and a vision and I agreed to follow him. As a for instance, we bought an extreme fixer upper house on a short sale. I don't love it…
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/22 06:28 PM
3

Don't worry, you won't have the mental energy to grow intellectually once you have kids. 😂😂 In all seriousness, your priorities majorly change with kids. There are pros and cons to being a sahm and work and from.what I have seen, everyone has stresses and complaints. I wish someone could make this choice for me. Your partner is trying to make it for you. You don't seem to trust his judgement here. That might be the thing to wrap your head around more than "should I stay home or not".
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/22 01:06 PM
12

Ultimately no one can make this decision for you. I'm not going to tell you what to do because I don't know and truly, there is no right answer because the future is always a big question mark. Either decision could be thwarted by events out of your control. But here is my personal experience: I worked when I met my husband. I worked while he was finishing his degree. I worked when he took downtime after a round of layoffs. This was all full time. I have licenses and certifications. I did a good…
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/22 09:55 PM
3

Truth!
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/22 05:03 PM
3

Right!!! The men say that women will sabotage each other and that was on full display here 🙄
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/22 01:34 PM
6

Mostly these are my half baked notions. I know we've talked in the past about switching gears between work and wife. u/sunshinesundress is the queen of the linked posts. Sunshine do you know anything in the archives about switching hats so to speak? If not maybe we can put it out as a discussion. Its definitely something I grapple with in my own life I'm sure others do as well. We can strategize together.
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/22 05:05 PM
11

This needs to be said to younger women who don't have kids. But a married mother who keeps the house and works? Yeah she knows that it's not cake but it would still be an improvement. Your brain has the space for so many change ups or multitasks. You switch from homemaker to mom or worker bee to wife or wife to mom. The fewer roles you have to fill and the more they are similar the less mental fatigue you will experience ie: homemaker and wife can be the same headspace but wife and career gal no…
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/22 04:56 PM
19

I'm glad. The wall should be a warning to women to not dally forever by playing games in their youth, thinking time has no consequences. Once you have taken that to heart you don't need to read what men have to say about the wall IMO. Some of it is cold truth but some is very young men projecting what they think they will think at 40 and some is anger or bitterness. Everyone has their motives and not all of those motives benefit you but it's hard to parse. Once you have dealt with your break up …
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/22 03:47 PM
7

When did I say anything about sacrificing time for an MBA? The hard age does vary - numbers aren't absolute. But there is a point where we start to decline in value. So we agree. And I am suggesting that without seeing the OP or knowing any other details that 30 is a better age and more commonly recognized age for the wall. The fertility decline is considered 35, the point where men start to have an easier time in the dating market and women a harder time is 30 and the age when you start to look…
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/22 03:13 PM
65

Since RPW is about improving yourself with the goal of a relationship in mind, there isn't anything specifically about remaining single. It is always good and healthy to have a life that you enjoy and solid friendships to sustain you. Your man shouldn't be your only support, you will need friends throughout your life. Within a relationship the wall is meaningless. Once you have made a long term commitment you do your best to treat each other well, keep sex going and stay well kept for your ages.…
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/22 02:57 PM
24

This is probably not the best of advice. The age for the wall is variable but usually 30 is a solid point, not 26. And telling a 20 something to take on someone else's age and baggage with no other details other than her fear of aging, that's irresponsible.
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/22 02:44 PM
4

Build networks with people who think the same as you do. This is an area where women can shine 😛. Make sure you have neighbors you can go to in a pinch. Have friends who you can share your victory garden with and will share with you. People who can help with your kids if daycare closes. Etc etc. Loners will struggle in tough times much more than those with strong connections.
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/22 10:32 PM
5

In the US the Fed plans to raise interest rates due to significant inflation. We've printed an obscene amount of currency in the past few years. This means price hikes which we are already seeing. There are supply chain issues from covid and now truckers are striking which will exacerbate these problems. This means shortages which we are already seeing. People are increasingly at odds with their neighbors. Someone shot an antifa in Portland last week. Canada just showed the ability to shut down …
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/22 10:12 PM
4

That's honestly a shame. It is my belief that you get to allow your elders to screw your life up for so long. Once you hit 25 you have to be your own person and learn to cope.
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/22 10:29 PM
4

And I didn't say "flirting, showing blatant interest etc" you read that assumption into "talking". It sounds like trust issues on your part and not a healthy way to start a relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/22 04:02 PM
4

I never agreed with finding someone who loves you more. I had that with my ex and it was bad for both of us. That said, what a man and woman should inspire in the other are different. Women should inspire men to be devoted to them. We want men to make us a part of their present and their future. Men should be inspiring submission or deference in their women. They should make us feel like we want to fall into bed with them or want to go above and beyond. I'm sorry that your relationship failed. I…
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/22 03:59 PM
5

The idea that commitment is a feeling is a difficult concept to understand, because when we think of commitment, we think of security. I see women give advice that if he doesn't marry you within x amount of time then he isn't going to. And this may be true some amount of the time. It may even be true the majority of the time but it's not true all the time. It wasnt true for me and I have seen enough cases around me and around rpw to know that it isn't true enough of the time. So what is the diff…
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/22 03:53 PM
8

I am of the opinion that starting a relationship by saying "I expect you to stop talking to any other women" is and should be, a red flag for men. However, as you get to know each other, him deleting his apps or not entertaining other options is a good sign. Further along ... It's not noticing other women who show interest in him (and they will) Further along ... It's not noticing other women You are reading a lot of negative behavior into a general statement that was not intended to mean cheati…
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/22 03:32 PM
7

Important stuff first: Btw, we have a border collie and she's no joke--fiercely devoted to family but wary of everyone else. I wouldn't let a stranger near her without close supervision. So I wouldn't worry about the "beta" stuff! We joke that Kaos (2.5 yrs)is our border collie. She is high energy and needs to be given work or she will destroy the house "helping". 🤪 But I have to caveat before I get men in here disparaging my husband. I got that once when I talked about him being heartbroken tha…
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/22 03:00 PM
7

I can. I'll have to think on it a bit. Our relationship has definitely grown and deepened over the years and I have some disparate thoughts to pull together into something coherent. And thank you.
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/22 12:38 AM
8

Yes we can definitely do that. I've always thought rpw was best when it was dealing with an already established relationship. Once you know you can trust your man, the stuff we talk about can shine. I have to go back through the wiki. I'm not sure I've even been on my best rpw behavior lately because... well toddlers. 🤦🤪. The post about how to inspire devotion is going to be link heavy I think.
/r/RedPillWomen22/02/22 09:51 PM
2

The second Frozen is garbage all around. So there is that. Though I actually disagree that the Christoff-Weird Dude relationship is questionable. Too often we attribute something gay to male friendships and I think that's a problem for boys. The glass slipper is traditionally viewed as a metaphor for the hymen. Trust me when I say that you will not be the person who brings me to God. I answered you in good faith but I'm not going there further.
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/22 05:03 PM
4

A husband is not the be all end all of your support network, nor should he be. There are times that you need other people. You should have close and lasting relationships with others and they will all have a slightly different flavor. You shouldn't have a sexual relationship with others. Obviously sex is not important to you. It is the way by which most men feel loved in relationships. And I know personally it is what keeps me balanced when life gets stressful. Sex is bonding in a way that few o…
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/22 03:11 PM
4

It's not concerning. It is one of the main things that makes a relationship a marriage and not a close friendship. Please do not let others make you doubt yourself.
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/22 03:07 PM
1

My niche is examining media for its propaganda and other biases Oh? Is that a professional thing or is that what your degree is? Hollywood has been making subversion it's raison d'etre since it's inception. Before Elsa was being a strong woman, Mae West was being questionably sexual. But I wonder if you have a view of the full spectrum of relationships to fully critique some of these themes. Christof and Anna have a realistic dynamic given Anna's position. Brought into the modern West, he is a m…
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/22 01:49 PM
5

Why not push back on the actual advice then? What do you actually disagree with? So far I'm just getting that you disagree with the length of her relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/22 01:22 PM
5

Why be a killjoy here? She's been with him since she was 18, it's not as though young marriages have a high success rate. Do you think her advice isnt sound?
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/22 01:08 PM
2

Oh it's ok. I usually have an internal debate about when tagging is appropriate. I saw the conversation and thought I should give some real life details for Rookie to roll around in her head. Plus it meant Guy got to have a big laugh at being compared to Lady and the Tramp (further down) 😁
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/22 01:11 AM
2

The only time I've seen someone do what you've done was a fictional character.Lady and the Tramp,where just being herself lady subdued and tamed the Tramp into a housepet husband. 😂😂 My husband says that he prefers to think of us as the king and queen in Brave. He then went on to name a handful of other Disney storylines that use the trope of the wild man and the civilizing woman. He's been watching too many princess movies of late 😂 Which leads me to - while real life is not a Disney movie, sto…
/r/RedPillWomen19/02/22 11:54 PM
2

I don't take offense don't worry. I'm sharing my own example because it contradicts your assertions and so I felt it was worth sharing. If you have religious convictions around sex then you absolutely should not be with someone who doesn't share those convictions. You shouldn't be with a man who understanding of God is vastly different from your own - sex is one aspect of this. Have you ever read about the idea of sociosexuality? It's a person's willingness to engage in sex within or without a c…
/r/RedPillWomen19/02/22 07:11 PM
3

I hope you guys don't mind me jumping in but since u/countthebees mentioned my formerly promiscuous husband I figured I'd add my 2 cents. My ex was a nerdy dude who didn't get enough feedback from women to know how to keep it in his pants if a girl threw herself at him. As a result, he oopsie accidentally cheated but was so so sorry. My husband was different. He was attractive to women and he knew how to play the game. When I initially turned him down, he was fine with that because I wasn't the …
/r/RedPillWomen19/02/22 06:15 PM
2

You are talking about withholding "wife privileges". This would be men marrying you because they think things will get better when they marry.
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/22 03:54 PM
3

Terrible advice. Men dont marry because they think things will improve. They marry because things are great and they don't want to lose them.
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/22 03:37 PM
12

Fair enough
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/22 09:07 PM
29

Gentle question: Reddit says that you are active on fds but you've deleted your post history. What made you decide to come here for advice? And is there a reason you aren't telling us any details about your relationship?
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/22 08:36 PM
3

Not everyone should have them. But it's a rare parent who regrets having the kids they have. I'm not downplaying the workload and it can't be done alone. We have two young ones. I WFH to manage it and we will homeschool. Our joint income is good but we also live below our means. We didn't chose an affluent neighborhood because we don't care about the school. None of what you have said is not a anti-kid talking point. The fact that you phrased it as "it costs $250,000 to have a kid" instead of "o…
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/22 07:18 PM
2

The cons don't outweigh the pros. The problem is that on one hand you have cons that are npc type talking points and on the other you have pros that are intangible and can't be understood without first having children. It makes it hard to look at as a pro or con issue. So much much media puts out the idea that kids are undesirables and a lot of work and expensive. There aren't a ton of positive portraits of parenthood. So we think that we understand the trade off when really we are primed to lea…
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/22 05:53 PM
7

It's one of those things that is almost always relevant and almost always comes up as a side note in the comments. I have seen it time and time again and I really wish there was research to back up the fact that sex work is a problem for relationships (or that I had the time to look for research 🤪).
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/22 11:54 PM
6

I do think there is a difference in how you view money as you get older. You are still young. Yes an adult but there is a difference from 25 to 40. It's not unreasonable to assume that he didn't drop an amount that he felt was significant even though it may have felt that way to her.
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/22 11:20 PM
14

And tbh, before meeting him personally I thought about being his sugar baby, This has gotten glossed over but I suspect is relevant to your attitude here. Where did you meet this guy, does he know this was on the table and have you sugared before? It tends to warp the way women view men when they engage in transactional relationships. It also might be why he is testing boundaries if he knows.
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/22 11:17 PM
2

I'd consider the family to be the entity that a marriage is created to forward. The husband brings money in and the wife makes life run so the husband can do that more easily. To use your business analogy: one partner is sales and the other is operations. I'm not against a prenup but I think you are majorly downgrading the role of wife or perhaps the idea of marriage. Income is not the only thing that you need out of life.
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/22 03:33 PM
1

The business partner certainly should get a portion of the business. Are you suggesting that a wife is a hired worker?
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/22 01:38 PM
21

First, if this really made you cry then you need to get a handle on your emotions. Woman in sex work has been normalized. You can disagree with it and not engage with it but you aren't living in the real world if you think that sex work isn't a huge industry in 2022. Use this as an opportunity to learn better emotional regulation rather than freaking out that some dude is envious of the ease with which women's bodies can make money.
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/22 01:24 AM
3

We have a lot of great technology that makes it easier to be a homemaker. Arguing about how someone does the laundry is just a way to deflect from my point. If men want women to be a soft place to land then they shouldn't also expect that we fill up our morning afternoon and evening with chores and childcare. I get it, the OP sounds young or like she's baiting us. Regardless, we cannot act like women are not supposed to have time to simply be a person. Relationships are about companionship but a…
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/22 11:05 PM
78

As a start, do you want to marry this man? Have you considered that before now? It's interesting to me that you refer to him as "this guy i''ve been dating for three years"
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/22 07:30 PM
3

I'm making the point to you that women and men in "traditional roles" have different schedules and it is not a failure of time management. I am not being a martyr because I'm not talking about myself. I am pointing it out in your comment because it was the one I saw. I am writing it for people reading not exclusively the OP. It is brought up frequently, usually by men, and I think it's worth addressing, so I did. You just don't like being disagreed with.
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/22 04:22 PM
3

My kids are toddlers and I work from home. This isn't my personal experience it's just a rough outline of what running a house with school age kids will require. My husband does the masculine jobs. Currently he's out splitting wood. I don't need to discuss with him the way we divide chores. This isn't about me and him. The point is not that these things take up all the time. The point is that for a lot of mom's, their downtime will be when the kids are at school not "the end of the day". There i…
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/22 03:55 PM
7

Are women allowed any time to relax during the day? Men consider that they should not have to do anything when they get home from work but then ask " what will you do when they are at school. So let's consider a mom of school age child: Morning - wake kids up, make breakfast, clean up from breakfast, make lunch, get kids dressed and on the bus. Let's say they leave about 7 Regular weekly household chores that must be done at some point- general neatness, floors, food shopping, bathrooms, rugs, n…
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/22 02:59 PM
12

Male nature that is discussed in the wiki/on the sub: Men are visual Sex is as important to men for bonding as communication/emotional expression is for women Respect is a vital part of a relationship. Men need to feel respected to feel loved Many men feel driven to provide for their families. This isn't all men and isn't any man towards any woman ie: him not paying on a first date doesn't mean much Men think differently than woman do. This impacts the way we should be addressing issues What men…
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/22 09:05 PM
3

Sometimes we allow our feelings to run our lives and that isn't good. But sometimes your gut tells you something and you should listen. It isn't good to rationalize a feeling and bury the feeling. If she thinks on it and it really doesn't bother her, that's one thing. But if she feels icky at these moments where he seems to put her in the provider role (even temporarily) then will she feel ickier when she is bringing in more money later? When he quits his job to raise the kids because she can't?…
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/22 07:21 PM
6

His joke was probably out of insecurity. I’d probably make the same kind of joke if I were dating a woman who was abnormally rich. I'd like to offer a anecdote. I'm not suggesting anything about the OPs man. However, sometimes small comments can be warnings of things to come. My bff married a man who came from a UMC background, ivy league education, worked a good job with promise. She was on the road to being a high power career gal. They were a match made to be a Power Couple. He joked about wa…
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/22 07:15 PM
3

The feeling of "ick" isn't a character flaw. We have to drum that into womens heads when men feel "ick" about n count. The same goes here. She is allowed her feelings.
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/22 02:38 PM
4

Waiting as long as possible worked for you. That doesn't make it good advice for everyone. We have to consider what a woman brings to the table along with her baggage. We also have to consider what a man is looking for. Personally, I had sex with my now husband without any thoughts of commitment. In fact, while we had known each other as friends, we weren't dating. Now we have been together for about 15 years. If we didn't start with sex, the relationship would never have gotten off the ground. …
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/22 01:53 PM
2

So maybe I'm just crazy 😂😛
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/22 07:15 PM
9

Are you married? Kids? Not a judgment, I'm wondering if that is relevant to the feelings. I definitely feel like I belong to my husband as well as the reverse.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/22 07:02 PM
2

My pet theory is that we spend so much time in our teens/20s being taught to fear pregnancy that once we are in an "approved pregnancy situation" (ie: married) that's the first time you can really assess what you want. And yeah, my mom told me "you'll cave when you meet a man who says I want a baby who looks just like you". We waited so long she gave up that idea but that did not stop her from saying "told you so" (love her but 🤦).
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/22 01:17 PM
17

My husband and I were quite ambivalent about kids before and after we got married. We had a good life before we had them and we have a good life with them. No one can make the choice for you because it's your life and there are pros and cons on both sides of this fence. I have noticed a phenomenon over the years. Once securely married, women feel more inclined towards kids. I don't know if it's every woman but I have known a few that once married thought "oh now I'm ready" (not all of them ended…
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/22 02:23 AM
24

Who made the "right" decision regarding kids is not something you can know until the end of the line.
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/22 01:24 AM
4

You didn't answer my question. If money is the be all end all, then what is the cost of her virginity. And if you think that it is only money that makes brothers kill brothers then you have a very narrow and naive worldview.
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/22 05:39 PM
7

There is a back and forth over a lifetime. My husband has been unemployed three times over our relationship. Once to finish school and twice in between jobs. Should he have been doing more than I did at those times because I brought in the money? Or should we have worked together to figure out what made the most sense for us as a unit? If there are no free lunches then what is the value of her virginity? Of this being the only man she's had sex with? Of her being a decade younger than he is? The…
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/22 02:57 PM
14

When I was young and working a starter job, I ended it with a decent guy after a few dates. I expected to pay half of everything because that's the world we live in and I couldn't afford to keep up with him. I wonder if that was his preferred outcome. He certainly had enough to cover me, he was clear on that. She's in school, work is likely not an option. Trading money for sex is a gross suggestion and shame on you for even putting it out there. The same applies to "whoever pays more deserves mo…
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/22 02:02 PM
2

So, just off your last paragraph... No. My husband dated, even lived with, quite a few women before me. He loved women but none of them particularly stuck. I could have very easily been another temporary relationship for him. When we moved in together I decided that I was in it for the long haul come hell or high water. Did making an cheesecake make him marry me, of course not. But having a girl who brought him food at his male centric job was a solid reflection on him in front of his coworkers.…
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/22 05:09 AM
2

This is exactly my thought.
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/22 05:59 PM
3

Ok but the OP isn't trying to date you so all of this is somewhat irrelevant. Communication is good. I'm with you there. But it could be very off-putting for someone to say "I know you want me to plan the date but I want you to plan the date". Either someone has to cave (and from an RPW dynamic that should probably be her) or it's a stalemate.
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/22 04:19 PM
12

Thank you for this. I cannot believe that I'm hearing "just show up" on RPW. To personalize it- everything with my husband was a back and forth. I did things for him, he did things for me. I believe I signalled an interest initially by allowing him to sleep in my bed when everyone else was crashing on the floor one night. Then he invited me out for a ride on the bike and drinks, then I invited him to come for dinner, he hung up a huge wall decor thingy, I brought him a cheesecake to work...and s…
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/22 03:57 PM
2

This advice seems a bit premature. You are talking about your wife when they are talking about their second date. It's absurd to think that you will communicate the same way with someone you just met as you would with someone you have been married to for years.
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/22 03:48 PM
12

He's a good guy. My husband says that she "did feminism right" 🤪
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/22 09:18 PM
18

I'm not arguing that they don't. I have a friend in the midst of a divorce because she married one of those men. We have another friend who married a man we refer to as the brawny paper towel man. He didn't go to college and earns a small portion of the total household income. He is a fit, attractive guy who hunts, fishes and builds things. They aren't competing on financial grounds for the role of Man of the House like my soon to be divorced friend. So If you are a high earning woman, look for …
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/22 08:36 PM
20

You have to find something masculine and respectable about your man. If you have a guy who doesn't have any masculine qualities other than his income, then dating someone who makes less than you do has a high risk for failure. But money isn't the only (or best) definer of masculinity. If you make more than he does but he makes you feel safe and cared for and you respect him to lead, then money doesn't have to be a necessary qualification. Dating "up" or "down" isn't the best way to think about i…
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/22 07:35 PM
14

When u/rubywootoo wrote about coming late to the red pill, she talked about women who swing between extremes after a failed relationship. That is what your attitude reminds me of. Now obviously there will be variety from man to man as to his preferences. That said, taking such a backseat in your own life that you allow someone else to run it into the ground, that's not RPW, that's something else. Men strive to be more to a large degree because of women. Look at how a bachelor will live and then …
/r/RedPillWomen01/01/22 10:07 PM
8

Is this all the reality of your marriage or is it your guiding aspiration?
/r/RedPillWomen01/01/22 07:35 PM
8

If you haven't seen much, how can you make such a definitive claim? You can't count celebrities because they live in a different world (and Beyonce doesn't seem like a rpw role model). In my family, there have been long marriages and divorces followed by a long second marriage. If my husband has cheated on me then I am blissfully ignorant. And if my husband cheated, he stands to lose more than I do. Your perspective is unhealthy. I'm sorry you are surrounded by poor role models.
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/21 01:06 AM
1

This is a pretty dreary outlook on life. How old are you that you've seen this so much? Do you plan to marry?
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/21 10:41 PM
7

Don't pick men with unrealistic expectations. In our house we both "do it all". His "all" is different than mine. When one of us has taken on too much we cover. Having a job and house and kids is tough and there are days that I'm exhausted from the minute I wake up. I don't think that he somehow does less. Sometimes keeping up the pace he sets is exhausting. I think that these complaints either lack perspective on what he does do or you are picking men who don't actually do a man's jobs.
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/21 05:18 PM
3

I'm going to play devil's advocate a bit here. Overall, I think that it is a real shame that most cannot raise a family on one income. And I'm not offended by what you are saying but I don't think that it is an easy or obvious decision for a lot of families. I never got why a woman would choose to put a large portion of her paycheck to daycare and the gas it takes to get to work and daycare but then validate it with making an income. Daycare and gas are expensive no doubt so you need to earn ove…
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/21 12:42 AM
15

My oldest is now two and a half. We look at pictures from a year ago and she's a completely different kid. It is so cliche to say that it goes so fast but it goes so fast. I think we all have naive notions of what you can do with kids and what you will want to do with kids. When Kaos was a baby I took her to work with me. I thought she would sleep and I would work. Instead she cried and I went crazy. I brought her to client meetings where, luckily, people thought it was adorable that she crawled…
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/21 10:03 PM
13

You only appreciate the people who agree with you. Someone at some point suggested that you were a guy larping to bring up these topics because your posts and comments are so over the top. I don't know what to think. And every time you get into discussions that you don't like you delete them later so no one can see the stuff you have said. Personally I do not trust you. I don't know what you are trying to accomplish in your life and I'm suspicious that you are actually a good partner. I think yo…
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/21 06:20 PM
24

Don't include us all in your self deprecation. Relationships are partnerships where both people bring something to the table. To work, the partners must consider what they do reasonable relative to what they get. My husband does a lot but so do I. If he thought that I didn't reasonably contribute then he would be with someone else. The idea of " what do you bring to the table" is a result feminism teaching women they are owed but do not owe. You are exhausting. I don't know if you have issues or…
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/21 05:52 PM
2

Go to married red pill and get advice from men. Women can't help you to be a better man. Realizing that is the first step.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/21 03:13 PM
23

And you haven't grown or changed since then? Your kids will be a reflection of what they see you doing. Possibly the name is the only vestiges of your teen years. But the point stands. Work on being a person who will not send your kids mixed messages. Then work on building a community that you want to raise them in.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/21 02:48 PM
31

I think that there is a disconnect between a username "pm me nudes" and "I don't want my daughter's to have overly sexual (bp) strategies" You don't have kids yet so not only do you have time before you have them but you have years before they hit dating age. Use that time to build communities and contribute to a world you want to raise them in.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/21 02:08 PM
12

Not sleeping is just miserable and there is no way around it in the early days. Even now (#2 just turned 1) I never wake up on my own. It's always when someone is crying or calling me, and the incomplete sleep cycles are killing me. Is there anything your husband can do? The standard RPW answer is "bring your husband your problem" but sometimes I think you need to ask for specific help. And when you told him that you were exhausted and anxious, did you get vulnerable or was it matter of fact (as…
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/21 03:43 PM
1

There are probably people better suited to answer this because our kids are too young for school yet but... There are a variety of ways to do homeschooling. You can link up with groups of other homeschoolers and pool your skills. You can do online school where there are teachers. You can do online programs for specific subjects. You can hire a teacher to teach a group of kids (but maintain control of the curriculum). You can get tutors for subjects you are weak in. In college I leaned on Khan Ac…
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/21 09:14 PM
6

It is said that there are different levels of learning and you have truly learned information once you are able to teach it. And no one, teacher or parent is expected to whip anything out at a moments notice. You can (should) brush up on any missing knowledge before you teach it. But I do think that it is a failing of the school system if you can't teach a child what you've been taught (with review of course). It means you only learned it well enough to get by. I don't believe that teachers are …
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/21 07:44 PM
4

Ok fair. Then the bigger issue is compatibility. I'm not trying to rain on your parade, just give you things to think about. There isn't a "right" way to RPW and this topic is going to have a lot of variability. It all comes down to what is important to you. If he's the best guy for you, are you willing to follow his vision for your future family. Or does working the way he suggests go against your personal values in a way that you can't see changing. I could not imagine being a sah wife prior t…
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/21 06:18 PM
3

It doesn't matter what we think about a guy like that. It matters what you think of a guy like that. No one here is living your life for you. What he's suggesting is fairly normal. It's not a red flag. It is one way of handling life and kids. But if it doesn't work for you, if you will be miserable going down this path, then this isn't the guy for you. The way you phrase this... coupled with your recent post about jealousy... Makes it sound like you are with him for the social proof not for the …
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/21 06:06 PM
10

You may end up needing tutors as the math/science components of the curriculum increase substantially in difficulty as you approach the higher grade levels. Counterargument - if you yourself have made it through the school system without the ability to understand/ teach these skills, it is not exactly an endorsement of the school system.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/21 05:56 PM
2

I'm a fan of your idea of pre or post commitment risk. We shouldn't be advising women to go all in or to be cautious (IMO). It's mostly about (getting them to) understanding the risk/reward for a particular path. I said elsewhere in this thread that I'm watching post commitment risk play off right now with a friend of mine. She did everything "right" except for the fact that she didn't want to have sex with her husband forever. And fwiw, I don't think of myself as someone with particularly good …
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/21 11:16 PM
3

Again, I never suggested women to be “all in”. This is probably my fault because I talked about being all in with my husband from early on. We did a lot of things...fast ... I also knew him for a while as a friend before we dated. Thus a lot of the vetting was different than it would be in a OLD situation. And everything was reciprocated. All in doesn't mean one sided. I was all in but so was he. And we were still testing each other out to see how we behaved in a relationship. Many increments we…
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/21 11:10 PM
6

I did misunderstand you apparently. And I did make assumptions because usually people are speaking for a group that includes themselves. My apologies if I snarked. am saying that for many of your readers here, marriage is very important, and we should be concerned with helping them achieve THEIR goals I'm unclear how anyone is dismissive of the goal of marriage. I put out there what I did to get the man that I wanted to marry me. I can only speak for myself and to a lesser degree, what I see aro…
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/21 09:11 PM
11

If you are broken up then it's not really your responsibility any more to comfort him. Are you sure you are not jumping through these hoops so that you can stop feeling guilty for the damage you caused? It's understandable that he doesn't believe you. He's still waiting for that final shoe to drop. And he can't know that he will put it past him once you "tell the truth". He may want to but that doesn't mean he can forgive. Advice: tell him that you didn't sleep with the guy and you aren't going …
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/21 04:23 PM
17

Yes you do. If he's given no indication that he's inclined towards cheating then you are punishing him for this girls behavior. That's really not fair and it will mess up your relationship. My two cents is to wrap your head around the fact that the problem is her not him. He can't control her and neither can you. Apologize for getting crazy and blaming him. Be vulnerable and tell him that you are scared of losing him to her. See how he handles it. Because you are still vetting him. You are still…
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/21 03:07 PM
3

But I am married and have been for a lot of years now. It was what I wanted, particularly with the man I married. Saying "a man at any cost" is dismissive of the man in question. I think you mean it to be. The perspective you are coming from is "a marriage at any cost" and the implication is that the man is a secondary concern. I didn't want a man at any cost. I didn't expect to fall for my husband at all. When I realized how much I was drawn to him I decided that this was the man and I was not …
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/21 02:49 PM
4

Are you still together? Have you asked him what it would take for him to believe you?
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/21 02:41 PM
5

Why dont you trust him with other women? Does he have cheating in his past or has he acted untrustworthy? Is he insecure and easily led astray or is he overly promiscuous? You do better with honey in most cases (when you have a good trustworthy man). But if your fears are well founded then that is a different situation. So which is he? A good guy and you need to get a handle on your insecurities or he's a risky bet and your fears are legitimate?
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/21 02:39 PM
5

Because you've vetted for a man who values marriage and knows that it is important to you. Everyone gets hung up on this forever girlfriend thing. The women I know who are girlfriends at a late date are girlfriends by choice. Some women understand a man's hesitation to marry and would rather keep that man rather than have a legal document. Some have their own reasons that matter isn't a benefit. If you must be married then don't date men who aren't "hell yes" on the idea of marriage.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/21 12:59 PM
-2

And I think that is why the OP talks about taking an internship with a decent company. You have to know that your values align early on and that you have the same desires outcome. If we want to push the metaphor, there are plenty of companies that offer a "temp to perm" path, dangling a carrot of a permanent position with benefits year over year. If you find yourself in one of these companies then get out. They wont hire you. Likewise, as OP says, if you have a guy who repeatedly demonstrates th…
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/21 06:15 AM
3

In a Laura Doyle, you have already married this man and are a decade and 2.5 kids in trying to fix an unbalanced dynamic, yeah view it as a collection of a certain type of action. In the early stages of the relationship, your actions should be inspired by feelings of love and respect. You should be eager to jump into bed. You should follow his advice because you think it's brilliant advice and he's a guy with a plan. You should cook for him because you feel moved to nuture and build a home with …
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/21 06:09 AM
3

I know it’s anecdotal but when I dropped OPs advice (I would have agreed with this 4-5 years ago), I FINALLY found commitment That makes it A strategy not the be all end all. I was all in early on with my husband. I decided that I was going to stay with him forever and set out to make sure that happened. While I did get the ring, more than "finding commitment" (ie: someone to agree to legally bind himself to me), I have a man who is devoted - the kids and I are his mission and what drives him. I…
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/21 06:00 AM
7

The employer needs to know he won't have you for free forever, or that's exactly what he'll do. I don't understand this mentality. If a man wants to keep you, he will keep you. Put out there that you'd like to be married sure (and this too is a vetting test) but ... Well don't get too caught up in a metaphor?
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/21 05:50 AM
12

Anything you do in a relationship should be genuine actions made from genuine desires. (Now long long term is different because you have responsibilities to the unit but that's not where you are right now.) You should not withhold sex (or insert wife privileges here) because you think it will make him love you harder for making him wait. You should also not have sex (etc) that you do not want to have. Don't fake submit, or do his laundry because you think you have to, or whatever. Act out of tru…
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/21 01:54 AM
5

The part about no one having any responsibility is a sad statement on people. No one cleans toilets out of the kindness of their hearts. Life and relationships are full of things you do because it's the adult thing to do. Doubly so once you have little people in the picture. "Sorry honey, you can't go to the potty again today because daddy hasn't fixed the toilet yet. Go use the litter box instead"
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/21 04:23 PM
2

My husband once told me that in his experience, bisexual women preferred more feminine women and more masculine men. Take that as you will, I'm sure someone will come in here to argue with me 😛
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/21 10:14 PM
20

I'm old and married but my general practice was to assume I was splitting the bill when we went somewhere. Reach for the check or my purse and if he said "I will get it" smile really big and say "thank you so much" Sometimes that meant I paid. Most men paid for me. One guy wanted to split everything when I was broke and I stopped dating him after my bank balance couldn't take it. In retrospect I probably should have told him I couldn't afford to go out with him but I probably didn't like him tha…
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/21 11:09 PM
1

There are men out there for whom sex is not a motivator. No argument. That some men are motivated by a comfortable life with a woman giving them regular sex ... Not automatically simps and hardly a controversial statement. There are some men who derive their purpose in life from family. This does not make them simps. They are doing what gives their life meaning. You can disagree but don't be certain that you are better than those men In this particular case, the commenter is right and not overin…
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/21 03:03 PM
16

I have to ask, are you here with an open mind? If your husband, who you love and have a child with, cannot sell his needs to you then I'm not sure why he thinks internet strangers would be. I don't know how to say this gently and without sounding like a bitch but it's not intended that way. I see you pushing back in the comments and you have a lot of hesitation. The hesitation over something new is reasonable. I just get the impression that you are here to say you did it rather than because you …
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/21 10:46 PM
1

Sigh. It's one of those weeks. Fixing that 😛
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/21 09:20 PM
10

Hi u/miac4 ... I wrote the doormat v deference post that Sunshine linked. I don't have time now to respond to your post (and Sunshine hit on a lot of what I would say) but if you have any questions, feel free to PM me.
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/21 07:35 PM
11

I would suggest a couple things: Read (or listen to) For Women Only and something Laura Doyle (Surrendered Wife probably). Do this to make sure your head is in the right place. We are going on the assumption that he is the one who changed and that everything was great before. Those books should give you and idea of reasonable "submission" and what most men want out of a relationship. Now if you feel good about your role in all of this then you do need to talk to him. One of the things we say her…
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/21 07:22 PM
6

How old are you guys? How long have you been married (/together)? How long has his immersion in RP been going on? And what does he say that he wants from you? I get that you are confused but what is it specifically that he claims to want from you? How long has he been asking these things of you?
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/21 02:33 PM
13

You have to evaluate the man in front of you. But a few points of guidance: When you are evaluating for potential you must look at what he is doing to work towards his potential. I know a guy who is very very smart, fun, outgoing, has the ability to work hard. He is an EMT and it took him to 35 to get that far. He could have been a college professor or a lawyer or any other number of high level fields. He's not. And it has been obvious for a long time that he would not fulfill his potential. He …
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/21 02:17 PM
10

Forget about buzz words like "high value". What do you think about him? I don't see you saying anything positive so it sounds like you have already made up your mind to move on and just want internet approval. Do you have reasons to stay?
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/21 01:44 PM
7

I don't entirely disagree. It sounds like she doesn't know what she's looking for. I was just surprised to see someone suggesting ONS on RPW. Usually that's considered pretty antithetical to the subs ideas 🤷 I'm more against it for someone (OP) who can't bring herself to write the word "sexual" or "whore" 🤪
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/21 10:10 PM
10

You can do whatever you want. The question is "what is the best strategy to accomplish my goals"? So work with me here. What do you want (relationship-wise) now and over your lifetime?
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/21 10:01 PM
4

This is not exactly RPW advice. Are you sure you are in the right place?
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/21 09:59 PM
3

This all started because I didn't think that you had said anything wrong. Apparently I said something wrong in the process 🤪. And I don't genuinely believe that but gosh sometimes it's exhausting to spend so much time doing stuff for the sub only to be lectured and downvoted. This wasnt a super empty threat. I'm doing some thinking about what rpw has become and if it's for me anymore. If "men are bad and you can't do anything about it" (another comment) and "don't hurt people's feelings" is the …
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/21 06:47 PM
-7

You are right. Perhaps I have outgrown RPW and this is a sign. I will leave it to the younger ladies here who know better than I.
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/21 05:53 PM
2

If I were talking down to her, I'd be telling her how proud I am of her for asking a question.
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/21 05:41 PM
11

It is something that has been talked about before around here. Beauty and youth are only a foot in the door. If that is all that you bring to the table then yes you should worry he will leave you later. But most men are not going to trade a good deal for an unknown just because she's young.
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/21 04:41 PM
3

Do you trust anyone or is it just men that you assume lack character?
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/21 04:37 PM
4

You came to an adult space and asked questions about adult relationships. If you want to be here then you get to be treated like the adults asking questions. If you want to be coddled like a child, then stay on the spaces reserved for such things.
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/21 04:32 PM
1

This doesn't feel correct to me but you are talking about something that would be so deeply subconscious that it's hard to say whether it is true or not.
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/21 11:35 PM
2

I won't make the argument that western Christian values have no influence, obviously that is the culture that we are steeped in so it will have an influence. I'm not sure what you do with that information from a practical stand point though. In the instance I mentioned above, I was still a bit scared after giving birth so I was giving BJ's left and right to keep from having intercourse. Guy was probably right to push me but he didn't do it because he wasn't having enough orgasms. Don't know if t…
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/21 08:48 PM
1

I have found this to be so true in my own life as well!
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/21 08:28 PM
1

Right! It's not a problem that you even realize exists (your ex) until you have a relationship where it isnt a problem (your current). Ive seen young women on here argue that they just have a low drive and I wish I could convince them that you should want sex from your man!
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/21 07:46 PM
3

I agree that not all sexual acts need to mutual. I did run into an issue postpartum baby #1 where my husband put his foot down and said no more blow jobs, he wanted to have sex with his wife. I am pro-bj but I don't think it's the ultimate fix to every sex question.
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/21 07:44 PM
1

Did you just recap my post in your own words?
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/21 07:40 PM
1

It is very interesting to hear how you view yourself. You think quite highly of your value and impact.
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/21 02:41 AM
3

I'm not saying that my definition is the be all end all. I do think that it's an are where we need to agree on a definition though. The more I thought about my interactions this week, the more I felt like we all had a different concept of duty sex. Well for the most part. I did run into a commenter who believed that starfish sex was the way things were supposed to be. What she was describing was a kink though and I don't think it reflected reality for most people. And yes, I believe that my rela…
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/21 12:32 AM
1

You are incredibly off putting every time you comment. I can't put my finger on what it is exactly but your activity here is ... unlikeable.
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/21 01:35 AM
4

I have been pregnant, nursed, been stressed, have responsibilities. Disagreeing with you doesn't make me young and unburdened. You list temporary things and act like they are consistent across a lifetime. I never said that women think about sex in the same way that men do. I wrote this post to address how to meet your man halfway so to speak. You are acting as though because we are not men, we should just get to lie there and no be engaged or move. Unless you don't know what starfish sex means? …
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/21 06:50 PM
2

How do you know what most women go through? For myself I find that having (good) sex results in wanting more sex. I also find that after a few days without I will get cranky and snappy. Men are different yes but that doesn't mean that starfish sex is healthy behavior for women either.
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/21 05:08 PM
2

It was not nearly as ubiquitous and accessible as it is in the smart phone era. I'm disagree that women are never enthusiastic about sex. I honestly can't even begin to wrap my head around your views on sex so we may have to agree to think each other are wildly wrong ... 🤷
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/21 05:03 PM
2

It's porn culture that promotes that women must always be eager and enthusiastic for sex to happen So most of what I have preached on rpw about sex comes from the book For Women Only. It talks extensively about men not liking duty sex. Since it was written in the early aughts after surveying men of all ages and religious persuasions, I don't think you can blame porn for men's desire to be desired.
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/21 04:51 PM
5

The thing is, the advice came from the book. The book got it from asking men's opinions. No duty sex may be unrealistic, but you are arguing against the average man's desires. I dunno what you do with that🤷
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/21 12:33 AM
6

It hasn't been my experience either. I was hesitant for a while after my first but with my second I was ready as soon as the doctor gave the ok. I know a woman who gave her husband a bj in the hospital after her first (her desire, not his). There is a lot of variability in postpartum sex drive.
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/21 10:17 PM
3

Can someone write a post on sex and passion for the old(er) married/LTRed women with kids? Yes...maybe...yes... children permitting 🤪
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/21 02:14 PM
4

Remember that when dealing with people, it's rare to have results that are 100%. My husband has quite masculine features and I was on the pill when we started dating. He also smells right to me. IMO it's all information that is worth having. Having switched prescriptions over the years for supply reasons, you never know when you will find yourself on a different drug.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/21 11:50 AM
4

The thyroid is fixed with another pill. Even when I kept telling them that I didn't feel better, I was told that my levels were good and I was already on the pill so it shouldn't be a problem. I think the medical profession doesn't have all the info on the pill or are hesitant to criticize it. But yeah, it was crazy when I stopped. I tend to do more of my own research before I go to the doctor in recent years.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/21 11:43 AM
4

I'm jealous that your gyno even hinted at anything. My doctor's have always done the "you just have to find the right pill" thing. I was finally on the lowest dose you could get and getting no period and my doc was like "well you don't really need your period". It's also really interesting that your experience matches the research. My husband is particularly masculine so I (thankfully) didn't notice a different over the years. He's not the type of man (physically) that I'd have picked out of a c…
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/21 11:38 AM
1

I will see if I can dig out the links later today. At one time I had everything bookmarked but I delete those after a while.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/21 11:27 AM
12

My husband smells wonderful. He says I smell good but obviously, I do not have a smell so he's mistaken. We have had an easy time having kids and I attribute it at least in part to him smelling right. I have a thyroid thing and I spent years asking if the birth control had an impact and was brushed off. Felt a hundred times better after I went off of it. Still makes me frustrated. Plus ovulation sex.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/21 01:05 AM
3

You keep arguing back against u/sunshinesundress when she is suggesting at least attempting to see if this is or is not "normal" for you. So it seems more like you want to be assured that the status quo is ok. When was with my ex, I never felt proactively sexy. I could have easily given up sex. I was not attracted to him (but would not have viewed it that way because I loved him). With my husband that is not an issue. You should consider that your lack of drivecould mean that he isn't right for …
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/21 01:01 AM
4

It's beginning to seem as though you ask questions about sex so you can virtue signal how submissive you are. If he doesn't care and you don't care then there is no issue. Strong chance one of you cares or will care eventually. When that person does the relationship will end.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/21 12:44 AM
4

What about...what about...what about.... There is no indication that her children's safety is on the line. She worked through two other pregnancies so there is no indication that her health is on the line Have you been pregnant? Are you married? The first trimester is pretty rough. You are exhausted and feeling crappy. You also are inclined toward volatile emotions. It's a terrible time to make big decisions. If you've ever fought with a partner and then gotten your period the next day, you have…
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/21 04:47 PM
3

If you can do that, we are going to go through hell and fire to keep you safe, we will give our life for our family. But...you didn't. You've only realized her value in retrospect. This post would be helpful if you can tell RPW how to vet against men like you (were). Because you wasted your ex's time/fertility, resulting in a divorce that will make you both less appealing on the dating market. Perhaps she is partially to blame but that is not how you framed this post. If you really want to be he…
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/21 02:53 PM
4

Hypergamy is not bad in dating up to a point. We should save long term relationships when possible but move on quickly when a short term one shows obvious flaws. Further, he involved her in his money situation when he asked for a loan at the checkout counter. You want to defend this guy so badly but you are wildly missing the mark. My husband asked me to add this: when people hear "old money" they think of people like Anderson Cooper and George W Bush. It's not the positive attribute that you th…
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/21 02:05 PM
6

Whether he becomes a success or not, this is a noteworthy incident from a vetting perspective. He didn't plan his own time well or respect hers. He didn't plan his money well and there is a strong indication that he lied (if he was looking at bank statements then he likely knew he had no balance). He has done this more than once. These are not strong qualities of leadership. A stem degree doesn't mean anything. My husband has a stem degree and had contempt for a lot of the men around him because…
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/21 01:17 PM
38

It sounds like you made a unilateral decision, yes? This is an area where feminism and RPW sort of agree. You really should have involved him in the decision making process. I understand that you are pregnant and stressed with the load on your plate, but why didn't you talk to him first? Are there other problems in your relationship? Do you not trust him to have your back if you told him preemptively that you needed help? The trad cons here will tell you that you shouldn't have to work and he's …
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/21 05:02 AM
4

You are right and everything you said to her is right. But the attitude she has is going to keep sane men away so she's unlikely to every realize it. You are nicer than I am 😛 it's good, someone needs to be.
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/21 03:24 AM
5

You are being too kind. She will be forever alone with these attitudes towards men and relationships. Let her wallow in her self pity.
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/21 03:03 AM
10

I hope you don't have expectations that he will do anything for you either then. He won't run out to get you a snack if you are hungry, Mom stuff. No compliments, Dad stuff. He won't handle the bills, Dad. Won't snuggled you when you have cramps, Mom. All that is like, so much being your parent why would your partner do any of it.
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/21 03:00 AM
5

I'm curious what Guy would say that my strengths and weaknesses are and maybe I will ask his feedback later. Personally I think that at this moment in our lives he's my morale officer more than the reverse. I'm excellent at reporting stuff because I have a fierce need to relay every moment of my life to another person (it's not ideal but 🤷). I'm mostly ok on maintenance except that The Tornadoes follow me around destroying as we go. That is just the season we are in. Oh and it's possible that th…
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/21 11:55 PM
2

I'm looking forward to the brawl.
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/21 11:06 PM
3

Are you saying that I'm not old and wise? Married or un - I've long believed that it's more important to understand the trade offs than to have a strict set of guidelines. I also think that chastity is overvalued here but u/Sunshinesundress has a post in the works on that so I'll leave that soapbox to the RPW youths 😛
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/21 03:05 PM
7

Sometimes, what works in my very traditional marriage to a very traditional man, is very un-RPW behavior And this is what I hope to get at. The strategies are great. They simply aren't the be all end all and there is room to use your own brain and judgement. It's hard because we want to keep RPW, RPW. Still, for me, it's more about understanding how men tick and then using that information in a way that gives you a solid relationship. It's not about wearing a dress and never questioning him.
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/21 02:45 PM
5

I am familiar with the concept and it is referenced in advice from time to time. More often than not though, advice is "as long as your man is high value and you keep him fed, life will be grand" So of course if there are problems, he isn't high value and you should find a better man. No covert contracts here 🧐
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/21 02:38 PM
6

First, don't call me "dear", it's condescending AF. Now, I'm not sure what the point of this comment is, please enlighten me. The point of the sub is to improve ourselves and our relationship. We have to work with what we've got, sure. This sounds like a lot of hand wringing and blaming men so you don't have to try. The idea that everything has been sunshine and roses until the Gen Xers were kids is sort of laughable. Life has challenges. That has always been and will always be. Money does not e…
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/21 02:27 PM
5

😁 you are welcome. Us old ladies need to stick together.
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/21 01:29 AM
7

The children have the ultimate say in that 😂😂. And thank you. It's nice to be writing again. Hopefully I can eek out the time.
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/21 12:11 AM
3

😁
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/21 12:10 AM
8

As I said above, I didn't intend this to be about Laura Doyle so much. It's simply that she served as the base for early RPW. Perhaps it is that I came to RPW with an interest in anti-feminism and Evo psych but a solid marriage. Laura Doyle never spoke to me in a real way. While I like the stuff about staying in your own lane, there wasn't a lot that I found life altering. My reason for writing this was less about The Surrendered Wife or FKATMC and more that I see women who treat the sub as a ch…
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/21 12:10 AM
14

Congratulations! And thank you 🙂. We need an RPW "blessing", something like "may your ship always be straight and your decks easy to clean" 🤪
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/21 12:02 AM
12

I didn't necessarily mean it to be an indictment of Laura Doyle. RPW uses Surrendered Wife as a jumping off point which is why I referenced her. I'm speaking more to the idea that RPW, if followed correctly, is the one time fix for all relationships. Like, if you can just do it hard enough: submit enough, stfu enough, give enough BJ's, etc, then you will have a relationship that is ideal from that point forward. I want women to understand that they won't always feel bliss there is no "do this an…
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/21 11:53 PM
5

You wouldn't happen to be girlwithabike from a few years back? Yes ma'am. But girlwithabike had a lot more time to Reddit than I do 😂 the other 15% that can be hard to defer to. There is no gold star for being the submissivest in all the land. We have had women like that through here and, well if they get off on it then good for them, but I don't get anything out of cleaning the floor while he walks on it with muddy boots. There are some things that I don't love but I recognize are not really my…
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/21 07:24 PM
3

I am back for now. I promised to help defend and explain my posts this month. Except that responding was so much easier when I sat at a computer all day for work, these babies have seriously cut into my Reddit time. Life is all good here though. Parenthood is always a challenge but Guy and I are getting by. The bikes don't make it out of the garage much and he wants to build a cage for the kiddos. Still no complaints 😁
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/21 06:12 PM
3

There are different focuses for a healthy RPW marriage and RPW dating IMO. I've mused on these same things that you and u/wewearmirrors are talking about here. You can't RP your way out of everything and I firmly believe that a backbone is a necessity for a woman. For my part, I will tell him if I disagree. Then I will tell him that I'll yield to his decision. I ask questions to understand his perspective. And I don't hide my feelings when I'm upset. None of that sounds RP when I say it (and I c…
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/21 04:29 PM
16

It's also so much more relaxing to not have everything on your plate. There is this ongoing line of questioning between me and my mom: "What's going on with x" (her) "I don't know, that's Guy's job" (me) "You should really be aware of these things for these reasons" "meh" You know me, other people don't so I'll say this to be clear: I'm pretty competent. I work in a professional field, know how to handle money, generally take care of myself and the kids, function as an adult in the world. If he …
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/21 11:53 PM
10

You still act like a sane person living in 2020. You say "oh that restaurant that you picked sounds amazing, what do you recommend" but you also say "you don't need to pick me up, I can meet you there" when we are talking about early dates. But I'll be honest, in my dating life, I didn't go out with men who made me feel unsafe. Do you? And if you do, why do you?
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/21 10:22 PM
33

I've always viewed submission as a strategic choice. I don't know how to get that point across to women but it's no different to me than wearing a certain outfit or listening intently to his monologue. If you want a guy to like you, you do things he will like. Not things that are outside of your value system, but wearing a dress that he likes, hell yeah. And you pick a man who you can respect and defer to. Then it's not really even "submitting" because you trust his judgement and share the same …
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/21 10:15 PM
4

But why do you read this as "submit or be mistreated?". It's not really a radical notion that women are people. Men do believe women are people but the core of RP is that we are different and want different things. We have different strengths and weaknesses. Recognize and accept that and a relationship can flourish for both partners.
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/21 10:07 PM
19

I don't think your post is entirely coherent. I don't mean that as an insult. First you say that you don't understand the interest in sex. Then you say intimacy is when you feel the other person moves in the same way you do. That is when you unite in sex and it becomes so much more meaningful and pleasant So you do understand sex in the context of an exclusive relationship where you have feelings for a person (I think anyway) The you say I do not understand the obsession our society has over sex…
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/21 09:47 PM
10

I have seen (with my husband) a change in preference over time. This has always been a critique of AFBB. TRP views AFBB as women settling for a lesser man as she loses her market value. Women view it as maturing and having a better sense of what a relationship requires. It's probably a little of column A and a little of column B. Further, our hormonal balance changes over time and that has to impact what we find attractive in a mate. So with that said, my husband has always had taste that one wo…
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/21 02:25 PM
11

Presumably there is a father/husband who is contributing as well. Look, everything has trade offs. What he said was a fact, there is a time limit on kids that doesn't exist on a career. Everyone should go into their career/relationship/family choices with open eyes. You aren't old enough to have watched your best friends struggle with fertility because they waited too long. Or see women realize that kids are never in their future. My Career Womantm bff says that it would have made more sense for…
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/21 09:36 PM
5

He said that you can have a career after you have children because there is no time limit on work. There is a time limit on children. Neither of these are disputable.
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/21 08:45 PM
6

Don't be naive. And really don't laugh at someone when you are being naive it makes you look foolish instead of just young. It is a lot of work to have children and it is a lot of work to have a career. The idea that you can do both and do them both well AND still put time and energy into your marriage ... Well that has caused burn out for many women. Something has to give in that situation. Either you aren't a full time parent and give up on some of the experiences you want for your kids or you…
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/21 07:28 PM
1

I have. I've been married since I started posting on RPW many moons ago. He used to comment here as well but to a large degree we have both moved on to other things.
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/21 07:14 PM
1

Well, as you say, it is possible to decouple love and respect in other types of relationships. The least controversial would be parents to children. Parents love their children but respect doesn't enter the picture. So we can accept that it's not necessary to have respect in order to have love. Likewise, you can respect a person and not be attracted to them or love them. I think an obvious example of this would be an employer / employee relationship (the ones with the "good" boss). You can respe…
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/21 06:55 PM
13

5'4 and 115 here (105 before the babies). Sunshinesundress covered all the big stuff but I just wanted to chime in that you aren't alone and your size will not prevent men from being attracted to you. Accentuate what is feminine. For me, I have long legs and a small waist. I could wear tighter tops (that showed off a narrow waist) without looking trashy because I had no boobs to speak of. Small and dainty is a definite way to be feminine. I once had a girl complain to me that "men want girls the…
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/21 01:55 PM
3

I wish someone had explained this to me when I was younger. After we broke up (and time passed) my ex and i admitted to ourselves that if we had ever gotten married, we would have been divorced by 25. That doesn't mean we didn't love each other but love isn't all there is. My mom taught me that marriage isn't all sunshine and roses so I thought as long as I loved him then we could get through whatever. As it turns out, I never respected him and the writing was probably on the wall from day one
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/21 08:05 PM
6

People should be responsible for themselves. If you can't read about weight issues, then don't read posts where weight is an issue. Trigger warning ask other people to be responsible for your feelings and don't belong on an RP sub.
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/21 06:35 PM
8

Obviously you don't know what you are talking about Sunshine. It couldn't possibly be that OP is asking all the wrong questions. It doesn't matter if the guy can get a hot 20 year old. There are plenty of women younger than he is that could find him attractive. If she doesn't lose the weight the 35 year old who is thin and well kept will look better and be a breeze for him to attain. And as far as who younger women will date: we can't assume that most young women act in a deliberate rpw fashion.…
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/21 11:48 AM
20

You are basically asking "can he do better" (or can I?) Do not hang on to a man you do not get along with or respect because you think you can't do better. Also Do not borrow trouble with a man that you like and respect by comparing him or questioning if you are an unbalanced match. If we tell you that he could do better, will you lose the weight or will you still resent him. If we tell you that you could do better will you push back and say "no he's worth losing the weight for" or will you drop…
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/21 11:54 PM
3

I can't tell if you see this as a good similarity or not. I view it as a lack of understanding and acceptance of what the opposite gender wants. The result, imo, is like yelling at the rain. It's a part of nature that serves it's purpose. You'd look silly standing in your yard yelling at the sky. Or as the article says about those men: Those who remain angry may never find that balance in their understanding of the differences between male and female mating strategy. . with the descriptions of t…
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/21 11:34 AM
6

Do you not want men to be attracted to you? I'm not being flip. This is a genuine question. What you are saying reminds me very much of the men who complain that they are "success objects" or a wallet to women. I suspect that you do want a man who thinks you are beautiful but you want him to be with you for more than your beauty. The good news is that men do want more than beauty. Beauty just happens to be the first thing they will be drawn to. If you are a beautiful but empty vessel, there is a…
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/21 08:32 PM
2

I can't see the appeal of what's been described here. What do object to specifically?
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/21 02:44 PM
8

I don't think the 20 something women can answer the question either though. All around we have been misled as to what men find attractive. Then we mistake our own desires for his and it's a big old mess. I have been able to cook and keep house since I was a kid. My mother made sure we all had those skills. It never occurred to me (when dating in my 20s) that those were attractive qualities. I thought cooking as a hobby would be viewed as lame and never once mentioned it to a prospective date. So…
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/21 02:42 PM
4

I'm married and have been for quite some time. I do believe that more people, men and women, are eschewing marriage and that is a valid choice in modern society. Some women will face the choice to keep the man without marriage or cut bait and move on. That's a highly individual choice and all that can be offered from reddit is guidance and information. Beyond marriage, when to have sex is a complicated question with different answers based on the people in question. I've never been a trad con go…
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/21 01:30 PM
7

Its hard to tell if you are self flagellating or if you genuinely need to put in more effort. Do not over extend yourself. Don't give and give and give to feel worthy of your relationships. Do add things in one at a time. If you want to make the bed, make breakfast and send him off with lunch every morning, start by picking one and working on that. Get consiatent. Add once it's an easy habit to accomplish. I'm not sure what selflessness you wish to extend to friends. Thats a bit different than l…
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/21 11:52 PM
3

What is your goal in the relationship. Are you sure that self sacrifice is the appropriate tool?
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/21 09:21 PM
3

What needs to be addressed? I'll gladly speak to that but it's thrown around without support most of the time. What ideas make it plate school in your eyes?
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/21 08:56 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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