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MonkeyBranchBuster Archive

View 1 post and 1,418 comments by MonkeyBranchBuster on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
17

MonkeyBranchBuster/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 06:10 PM
Showing the 1,000 most recent of 1,418 comments.
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
6

First situarionship post divorce hurts more than the divorce. Now do it a few more times to desensitize yourself and become more rational, less emotional.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/26 01:50 AM
0

Yeah, nobody asked me and she had no problems fucking the other married guy - I guess she healed enough.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/26 04:26 AM
1

Yes, it happened a year and a half ago, and it broke me. Mental health is still not good but due to other factors, combined. The kid is fine, sweet, happy and we love each other.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/26 04:22 AM
7

You can't live like this, it will eat you up from inside.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/26 09:54 PM
1

Nobody is screwing me but the fact I have kids with this person. If I get my money back my kids will have an awful life since she doesn't have the money to pay me out and kids will suffer the collateral damage. I don't live in the US, and mothers with small children are given primary custody by default. I could easily ruin her life but won't as she is the mother of my children, and a good one. This again does not fit with your opinion of men being the problem.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 01:19 PM
1

No, I had significant inheritance money and she was disowned by her father, bringing only herself. I was the one that saved money for the future and she was the one that never had any savings. We didn't have joint accounts. And she lied about her income. Try reading this sub for 3 years like I did and maybe you notice patterns or learn something about men before pulling biased opinions out of your ass.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 01:09 PM
1

She brought nothing, I did, she acquired nothing but debt, half of which is now mine. Try again.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 12:15 PM
1

She needed my resources and she got them in the end.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 11:17 AM
1

For every man I know that is a cheater I know 20 women who are doing it. Men who are in positions of power (politics, business, medical doctors) have multiple affair partners.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/26 11:06 PM
2

I live in a small town and I know many that are cheating, in fact half the town knows, but husband always finds out the last.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/26 11:02 PM
2

This one didn't get the alimony she expected.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/26 10:59 PM
5

I can smell a divorced woman on a men's sub a mile away. Btw those men aren't on support forums, but that would require some basic logic you females often lack.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/26 10:57 PM
5

No, we're all complete monsters over here. Ruminating over ruined lives of our childen is just for the love of the game, later I'm going to beat a puppy.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/26 10:54 PM
3

I have one based friend that sees the world for what it is, the others are either delulu, suffer from hubris or just don't want to open up at all and quickly change the subject.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/26 10:51 PM
2

Driftwood mellow pebble unbelievable juniper walnut peach noodle unbelievable nutmeg This post was anonymized with Redact.dev
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/26 10:20 PM
1

Orange yarn maple quilt grasshopper tangerine walnut harbor hammock umbrella This post was anonymized with Redact.dev
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/26 10:12 PM
4

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/r/Divorce_Men26/07/26 10:10 PM
10

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/r/Divorce_Men26/07/26 10:07 PM
3

Pillow quilt lantern satchel ginger otter feather feather nutmeg This post was anonymized with Redact.dev
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/26 02:44 PM
5

Meadow otter ginger almond cinnamon otter meadow paddle waffle vanilla This post was anonymized with Redact.dev
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/26 01:39 PM
2

Is this just a " get fucked, be miserable, time will hopefully make this bearable" Pretty much this. There will be ups and downs.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/26 12:56 PM
18

Umbrella otter tangerine tangerine pillow copper harbor This post was anonymized with Redact.dev
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/26 12:54 PM
2

Like with anyone here, she was never yours it was just your turn.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/26 10:37 AM
1

I still seek my next narcissist. Was married to one for 18 years and she ruined me in the end but best of them all, they can at least be consistent for years if you are their only supply. At least you can manipulate them and know what to expect. Far better than any other personality disorder that are completely unpredictable, chaotic and disfunctional, uncapable of commitment and insufferable in their behaviour. 2 years of dating after my divorce and I'm starting to appreciate my ex wife more. S…
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/26 08:32 AM
1

Was it a cold approach? It's a good sign but don't get your hopes too much, she might leave you on seen or whatever. Some women just want the validation. I don't do cold approach and always know who I am giving my number to, so it always worked and led to something, usually a month long situationship (good luck with scoring a real relationship with a woman nowadays). By giving my number and not asking theirs I give them the chance to think if the really want to contact me.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/26 08:24 AM
3

Pebble velvet zephyr meadow zephyr walnut hammock pumpkin This post was anonymized with Redact.dev
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 10:33 PM
4

Amber copper tangerine cucumber pumpkin hammock saffron This post was anonymized with Redact.dev
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 05:45 PM
2

Nope, you're internalizing it as your fault again. Go get a nice haircut, buy a leather jacket and bang some younger hottie. Then next time you see your ex be in a cheerful mood, maybe even whistle a tune. They hate that shit more than anything. A woman's primary motivator after a breakup is seeing you mope around crying and being a little bitch as that means she was hot shit, something you'll NEVER AGAIN have. No go prove her wrong you can do way better.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 05:40 PM
4

Sparrow unbelievable compass willow copper trumpet ribbon pillow ginger This post was anonymized with Redact.dev
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 06:43 PM
3

Saffron raindrop ginger lantern pinecone marble feather pinecone This post was anonymized with Redact.dev
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 09:56 AM
4

Cobalt mellow cucumber biscuit teapot coated raindrop unbelievable satchel juniper This post was anonymized with Redact.dev
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 09:52 AM
3

You're doing great, I wanted to blow my brains out for the 5 weeks it lasted.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/26 12:56 PM
5

Europe, 228$ for 2 children combined, no alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/26 07:21 PM
7

What exactly would you try to salvage here and what makes her a good mother for your possible future children? A serial liar and a cheater (you just caught her this time) that doesn't have sex with you and doesn't want kids (with you). Bro, what advice here would you give to a friend if he told you this?
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 08:57 AM
1

Let me guess, like mine she didn't have very good relarionship with her father?
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/26 10:00 PM
2

Had this exact thing happen many times, after what you would call a perfect day with them and them getting emotional how they can't imagine losing me. The switch was the next day/morning, the slow replies, the "busy with something to meet up", then comes the breakup for some insane reason not a week after. Like wtf man, seriously, wtf. If I was a woman and had to live like this, in this chaos of emotions and hormones I'd rather off myself. What's even funnier I have female friends and their go t…
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/26 09:58 PM
1

Go and have fun, but don't attach.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/26 09:53 PM
4

Date but remember to use for recreational use only, I have given plenty of women a chance after my divorce and every single one has proven that they only bring chaos and drama. Not a single day passes when I don't wish I was either gay or asexual.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/26 03:36 PM
1

Wherever, mostly through work and going out to alt places, bars, concerts. At a gas station. It's not so much important where but how you need to look and act to pull them. And despite what most men think your gym muscles or money are not very important, and there is no manipulation or lying needed as women tend to think. It's enough to be yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/26 10:13 AM
2

In a small town where everyone knows everyone and you can't really hide anything. Have friends that had their fathers kill themselves so pretty sure they know what their mothers did and do. Had young widows hit on me plenty of times. There's a thing called Widow's fire, no woman grieves for long, even if she didn't cheat and dump you beforehand. I'm sure they're devastated inside while posting thirts traps on social media and jumping on dicks they met at the bar after drinking and dancing and ha…
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/26 09:36 AM
14

Well, let me tell you how I've met plenty of women that have had their husbands die or kill themselves (after finding about her cheating) and none of those women were particulary shaken. In fact, they continued to date the AP. The only one's permanently scarred were the kids. I've met a woman who lost a baby and a husband in an accident and not month after that was partying in a bar I frequent very skimpily dressed. You will probably care about your ex until you sleep around enough to fall for t…
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 11:18 PM
3

I'm actually more depressed when they are with me than when they aren't. Everything is sub par now compared while we were a family, she kept the big house, all the "family" friends with little kids to boot, we used to take a month long family seaside vacations, visited family, took trips. Now it's just me and the kids, with little to no money, in a shitty place, alone.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 07:02 PM
2

I get you, hard to make friends, or make connections with women while you're down and out. Everyone expects you to be the life of the party kind of guy, or to listen to their problems. And you can't will yourself to be that guy while feeling all alone, Catch 22. I often feel like you, one bad day away from the psych ward, but it's just a feeling, anxiety, being overwhelmed by life's issues. It too tired for gym do at least some body workouts at home, try to cook healthy meals. I'd suggest being …
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 06:16 PM
5

Yes, start smoking like a chimney and buy a killer leather jacket and put on a metal band tshirt you listened to in college. Bars and concerts and wait for the daddy issues alt girls. You'll also be needing the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition. But if you're looking to find healthy women, I'm not the guy to ask. If you do find any in this day and age, ask her is she has a single friend, I can travel.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 06:05 PM
1

I learned that bitchez be crazy, old or new.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 05:54 PM
2

They'll listen to me? Why didn't anyone say this sooner?
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 05:51 PM
3

You need to have sex and some affection from a woman. I can do everything right but get touch starved - childhood wounds team represent!
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 05:50 PM
1

The problem is I don't like myself that much as a company. Everyone say exactly this - love yourself. Ok, but those people aren't spending 99% of their day completely alone in silence.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 05:47 PM
0

I don't even like me and if God does he sure has a funny way of showing it.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 05:43 PM
2

Good luck, my relationships post divorce last 3 weeks median.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 05:43 PM
6

Bro, I wasn't even loved ever before.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 05:41 PM
3

Well, 18 years here and met her when she was 16. It all started to fall apart like ecactly this, mountains out of molehills, never happy, never content, sex like 2x a year, flinched when I touched her or got angry I saw her changing. Little did I know women do this on purpose, trying to stress you out so you say you had enough and leave so they can claim victim status. And yeah, she was cheating while accusing me of it, and gave her AP 1000x more energy than she put into me. Working out, lingeri…
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 08:36 AM
12

What do you mean 'second marriage'? Are you crazy?
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 08:24 AM
3

Normal between you and the wife? No. Normal for you if you let it be, yes.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/26 11:10 AM
8

None for a guy, never use the apps. I have female friends and they have 100x the matches the guy that looks way better than them has. You'll be jestermaxxing to impress a mediocre woman, competing with at least 20 other guys. Also, not a single normal woman has any problems of finding a guy offline, so what's there is single for a very good reason. Also, at least in my area, women the apps show to me (due being in mid 40s) all look like they could be my mom.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/26 06:12 PM
11

Biscuit grasshopper ribbon almond lantern yarn meadow This post was anonymized with Redact.dev
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/26 01:51 PM
2

You need to find a new woman asap to heal the ego, it's been 18 months. Already the first girl after my ex healed my self confidence. Of course it didn't work out and she was batshit crazy like all of them, but the compliments were unreal and I got more of them in a month and a half than in 20 years with my ex that witheld them. She even complimented my handwriting ffs.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/26 09:04 AM
3

Also, on the other sub you wrote you were a bad boy like myself used to be and returned to it after my divorce and am now slaying with girls at unbelievable levels while having an almost dead bedroom for 7 years with my ex. It's comical how she treated me like shit all those years sucking my soul and now I am showered with compliments by women half her age. You, like myself applied yourself and became an actual good husband and a dad, doing all the chores and blah blahs and contrary to what wome…
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/26 11:20 PM
5

Dual mating strategy, they want kids, find a guy who's good to be the provider, stable, caring and loyal type - the safe guy. Once they pop up a few children then they go to bang the exciting guy - Chad from work and blame it all on you (whatever she thinks it'll stick knowing your insecurities) or rewrite the whole history how they were never happy. This is like 9/10 stories here on this sub.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/26 11:05 PM
5

It won't. But at least you will have better sex or possibly fall for one of those and get hurt and realise your ex was nothing special - other women can get bored of you too. Works out for me, new girl drama overwrites old drama.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/26 09:58 PM
10

The easy way - sleep with other women. The younger and hotter, the better.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/26 07:59 PM
1

Lived like this for the last 3 years of my marriage and wish I left befire she cheated and took all my money. Long story short - for whatever reason she is not happy and she's about to make it your problem.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/26 07:54 PM
0

Not worried, I live in one of the safest counties on the planet. But that was a half joke post.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/26 10:35 PM
2

Sex is ok but unfulfilling as it seems impossible to find a real emotional connection nowadays. Dating is just a distraction, yes it gives you some confidence and validation but fixes nothing real, nothing long term, no core issues. Also brings emotional rollelcoaster if you get your hopes up and more drama into your life. But being with no sex for a long time makes you into a depressed doomer that scares off women, kind of a Catch 22.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/26 11:31 AM
1

What about massages? Non sexual but a woman's touch will make you relax a bit. Being touch starved is real.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/26 10:42 AM
1

Yup, feel free to.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/26 09:41 AM
3

Can you share your dating profile in private so we can check it out for tips?
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/26 08:00 PM
1

Yet! I myself have been offered to be pegged lately, lol. So where's the update thread? I didn't sleep last night out of excitement for the bro that is gonna smash like a king.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/26 07:19 PM
1

Everything, from the techinque to their enjoyment but most importantly the passion that was turned up to 11 every single time. My ex wife was not a prude and considered we had a great sex life.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/26 07:15 PM
2

She's coming over in 20 minutes guys, should I open the pillow from the plastic wrap? And then it's just the picture of an empty room with a mattress on the floor and a cardboard box for a nightstand. The divorced dad life 🔥
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 08:19 PM
7

If he dies, he dies.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 08:17 PM
2

Listen to this guy!
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 06:05 PM
1

YES!!! Never do that, never tell them the exact number especially if it is VERY low. Women are drawn to experience and men with options. Don't lie and exaggerate either.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 06:04 PM
1

I haven't had this feeling, idk why. Semi dead bedroom and lack of passion last year maybe? Had some performance anxiety the first few times (I hate that I have this with all the girls I actually like, always had probably always will) but all of them have been extremely patient and understanding and came for more.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 06:02 PM
1

Zoomer girls are something else, get ready for gonzo porn man.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 05:52 PM
3

Rest and hydrate, and have a good excuse when it won't go up. Remeber you have a face and 10 good fingers on your hand. Please come back and update us how it went.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 05:17 PM
8

100% this. Op, don't fall for her bullshit.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 04:38 PM
3

Same, mine did the same a year and a half after we finally built some real stability. 20 years down the drain.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 04:02 PM
1

Which country? A lot of Phillipina, Ukranian and Nepalese women here and I'm entertaining the idea as Western women are ruined from the get go.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 08:37 AM
6

No, you can bring her back but everything has to be in your mom's name and she gets shit only after you die. You also switch the food plates when she's not looking.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 08:33 AM
22

Yeah, passport bros are completely wrong, women are all the same, no matter the race or culture. Usually when they change overnight you have outlived your purpose and/or they have met another. Fix their shit a little too well and now they're gone. Google Briffault's law if you have the chance.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 08:30 AM
3

Slay queen, you're in your healing era! 💅
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 08:04 AM
7

Yes, you will probably never again love so foolishly as we all did, young love is different. But you will fall in love again, this time with more experience and get your heart broken anyway a few more times. Try not to hate your ex and move onto indifference, new women don't like when there are strong emotions present about the ex, and it's not good for you either. Hate eats you up inside, leave the hate to her. That said, dating can be fun, but I don't use the apps so I never got rejected. Suff…
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 08:01 AM
2

Not is the US, it's just parenting plan, child cupport and assets are always split 50/50. Almost everything is predefined by the government so no lawyers needed for an ordinary middle class person.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/26 09:30 PM
7

One and a half hour, and month of waiting for an appointment. Total cost was about 20$.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/26 08:56 PM
2

Haha, every single time, they just live by peer pressure and fomo. Then her algorithm on TikTok changes so there goes your life you actually took seriously.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/26 09:00 AM
6

Men are the romantic gender, women think they are but they only want to be the recipients of romantic gestures. Is she being romantic towards you or you have a 4 yo child that needs to be constantly entertained and stimulated? Would she provide for you while showering you with attention and listening daily your emotional rants? Doubt, as I've yet to meet a woman like that. Also, there comes a point in every relationship where a compliment from a random stranger has 100x the weight of a comolimen…
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/26 08:43 AM
3

No.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/26 08:29 AM
3

For the small price of 50k I will send a good morning/evening beautiful personalized message for a year.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/26 08:17 AM
7

Exactly. I stuggled mentally and financially. Had some medical issues. I still do, she never showed any concern. In fact she was attacking me at my lowest, like she wished for me to die. Refused to talk at all, this woman chose this, chooses this every day. I am at the point where I won't attend her funeral if she dies.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/26 08:05 AM
5

In my country there's a saying that goes - The one who fucks you, let him write you poetry.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/26 07:55 AM
3

I'm also broke, it's the emotional maturity and being safe and calming. Cool under pressure.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/26 08:51 AM
10

Yes, man in his mid 40s here, the oldest woman was 14 years younger, youngest 24 years younger than me. Don't worry about it, women don't care and are attracted to older men.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/26 08:49 AM
3

Don't take anything from your wife that lost attraction to you seriously, the quality of sex is in their head. I felt like shit too for a while and then women 20 years younger than my wife showered me with validation and compliments. Apparently I am the best lover on the planet and the most attractive guy living. Just start dating and don't use the apps because you'll feel like shit by constant rejection as women there have too many options. Talk to women live, where you notice a hint of chemist…
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/26 08:46 AM
11

Always assume the worst. If no sex at home you can bet sex is happening somewhere else.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/26 08:38 AM
1

Well, I am the same as you internally, I just consciously decided I do not want to show this side to the dating world anymore. I got married and changed, I became a domesticated man and put my ex wife on a pedestal and everyone's needs before mine. I got zero interest from women for 18 years while married, then a fuckboy serial cheater asshole fucked my wife I believed was different from other women, I maybe had a mini mental breakdown and said fuck it - I had enough of being a nice guy that did…
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/26 08:16 AM
0

I have to mention that I don't live in the US, the culture here is much more relaxed, there are no HR strict rules like in the US, where talking to a woman can get you fired or arrested. I installed Tinder out of curiousity once and deleted it that same day as women my age range look like they could be my mom and I believe chemistry has to be felt live, on the spot and time shouldn't be wasted on going on pontless interview dates with online women to see "if we click". Chemistry comes before the…
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/26 11:47 PM
1

Yes, nice stable guy is extremely boring to women except if they are looking to settle down with a sucker (and then they don't like men who already have kids as they take resources). I believe you when you say you get no interest - there's probably nothing seriously wrong with you apart being frustrated with repeated failure. If you want to date for a fun time, sex, etc. you have to be a bit of an asshole, a bad boy, interesting, confident and mysterious. Hanging with my nice guy married friends…
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/26 11:23 PM
1

Not true at all, 45, 2 small kids and I'm killing it. Dated a ton of girls 21-31. Have to date younger (no single moms, no girls settling down, no job interview dates, no apps) and have a bad boy attitude. Give zero fucka. Nice stable guy pesona doesn't work at all in dating.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/26 10:26 PM
3

It's the apps. Meet women in real life, success rates go up to 100%. Notning can replace real world face to face chemistry, saves a lot of time and money.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/26 10:18 PM
1

My current gf is 20 years younger than my ex wife and if you can believe it a much more mature person. Yes, this relationship probably has no long term future, but as a short thing it's the best thing ever for self confidence, masculine energy and mental health. Even developing feelings (always a bad thing) and getting hurt is not as bad as it shows you you are not yet dead inside after a bad marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/26 12:03 PM
3

It's great, but 100% percent she's got daddy issues. Sex is going to be out of this world. 🙏🍻
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/26 11:56 AM
3

I'm 45, been told I look 28-30. Dated younger exclusively. Current gf is 21, just go for it man.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/26 10:59 AM
1

What? That's the best combo possible.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/26 12:02 AM
3

Exactly. Lost her job and ended up commited for a month. But at least she wasn't evil and I didn't marry her. I married a very well regulated narc that cleaned me out after 18 years.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/26 04:44 PM
3

Good luck, I'm 40+ and all the women I've met post divorce, a double digit number of them, had daddy issues. Age didn't matter, even with huge age gaps. If she's single, she's single for a good reason.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/26 04:23 PM
5

I had a girl like that, stuff just "happened" to her, zero accountability. She couldn't change anything, "Oh, I'm just so chaotic, ooopsie". Yes she had BPD.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/26 04:20 PM
5

Yes. And I still do. Never met a sane woman in my life so what's one to do if still dating? 🤷🏼‍♂️ They were all very emotional, illogical, impulsive, had wild mood swings and some were just pure batshit crazy - psych ward institutionalized a few times. I'm with a girl now, and she's treating me better than any other ever did and I'm happy but she is very emotionally disregulated. But I understand this is all on me and always will be - I have my own traumas, including core childhood ones, the way…
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/26 04:17 PM
3

I don't know, I never feel lonely with women as I tend to pick them based on our intellectual connection. Sex always turns out to be better than I've ever experienced. So far only my ex wife made me feel alone together as I was stuck with her for a long time in a semi-dead bedroom and one side emotionally closed off relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/26 07:02 AM
4

Yes, every single friend has thesw kind od stories and I personally know a lot. Never getting bamboozled into a marriage agin.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/26 10:47 PM
2

I don't use apps, yet to find a woman that has a problem with it and I am 10 years older than you. I don't date for marriage and date quite a lot younger girls that don't look to settle down yet or have kids of their own for me to feed.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/26 10:17 PM
1

Why marry again? You already got the best thing out of a marriage - kids. And you are young so bother, enjoy your freedom. And you will date and fall in love again many times in the future.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/26 10:15 PM
1

No, not a single person cared in any kind of relationship, be it work, friendship or romantic. I thought it would be a major drawback, being 45, divorced with two kids but apparently women see this more positive than negative.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 07:23 PM
1

You should, and you should date. In a year I've met many women, two of whom were far better than my ex wife, and 10-20 years younger. Just have some fun and relax, doesn't have to be very serious.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 07:19 PM
10

You shouldn't feel guilt as women almost always leave with a specific man in mind they were at least emotionally cheating with while you were still married.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 09:18 AM
1

I really don't care, I've been called a lot of things but never a liar. Even women respect you more when you call them out on their good girl bullshit.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/26 10:23 AM
1

I was the one that didn't want to commit, as many of these these girls wanted kids, were talking about moving in and having a family. Maybe it's just me, I look much younger or maybe it's because I am outside of the US.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/26 09:35 AM
5

Dude, you have to stop believing her. It was not just emotional, and if you stayed it wouldn't have changed a thing. This is just the playbook move to ease her conscience of cheating and leaving. No kids no contact.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/26 08:46 PM
4

Let's be real here, none of our wives were exactly virgins. We just married for something others got for free. Or as they say, "One man's soulmate is another man's one-night stand."
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/26 07:59 PM
13

Men are the romantic gender. Always were, always will be. Stay strong and don't make the mistake of taking her back when she finds out what a shitshow dating scene is. There will be a lot of pump and dumping my bro.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/26 07:57 PM
2

Google repetition compulsion and savior complex trauma.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/26 07:50 PM
4

Make you feel better. It works. Ultimate heartbreak cure. Been doing that since I was 17. Subconsciously we stay for the free hugs and a round ass, telling ourselves she has great personality and how she is special - well, other women have that too.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/26 07:42 PM
1

Yeah, I was the same at that age and it's kinda considered normal in my culture. Though we had house parties when someone's parents were away. Alcohol, pot, girls, music. We are all parents now and became responsible (to a degree). She's playing the Fun Mom and you can't really win your kids over by being stern at this age.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/26 07:22 PM
1

I've had 8 relationships with 15-25 age gaps in the past year. None of them were advertised to the world. Yeah, maybe women don't marry much older guys, but they do sleep with them (at least with ones that look good or younger, or have money etc.), every single of my female friends, my exes after we broke up, girls I went to highschool etc. I couldn't ever land a date with a woman my age, always had to date 5-7 even when in my 20s. I live in the West. The same female friend that gave me shit dat…
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/26 07:10 PM
1

Yeah, my grandparents gave me very unrealistic view of marriage, they were 62 years together and I was always a romantic. Then you grow up and discover it's all a big show. Marriage is meaningless, divorce rates are brutal over here and marriages last 2-3 years Growing old together wasn't in it for me. Got to adapt to the modern world, I guess.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/26 06:01 PM
1

There's a huge difference what women say and what they do. And if you're a woman you should know women undermine other women due to intrasexual competition - they will be "shocked" by you, while doing the same. It's purely performative shaming. I could go in detail about my personal life and experience but it doesn't matter. It's never been easier to pull girls than now, past 40, and while I was a teen, girls were the same, daring older guys.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/26 05:56 PM
2

Yes, I felt like that for the last 3 years of my marriage, then came the cheating, divorce and complete loss of purpose and identity. I am still "finding myself" (like women say lol), and it's not easy but my mental health has improved immensely just by not being around her. Peace and quiet.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/26 02:53 PM
3

In reality it's to lay you down gently, so you can accept the split without many negative emotions, but it's not really honest. It doesn't matter what she says because you were good enough to have kids with. They change their emotional minds all the time. Don't worry about it what is real and what is not. I got the 100% negative closure and it bothered me for a few months, having self doubts as I thought I was a good man and did my best but then I started dating. Four younger women in the last y…
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/26 02:44 PM
1

Trust me, divorce is so normalised that nobody cares if you are divorced. I've yet to find a single person that cares if I am divorced or a father of two. In fact many younger women see it as a sign of maturity.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/26 02:36 PM
2

The divorce topic while you are going through stages of grief and having a rough time is an excellent way to filter who your real friends are. A friend I met three years ago offered more support than my whole family.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/26 02:33 PM
1

Well, most people don't care enough to have anything more to say or don't want to get involved. Only your true friends will say something deeper and meaningful.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/26 02:26 PM
4

You should go for full custody as you ex is clearly not making rational decisions.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/26 02:12 PM
3

Well, that's nice. Mine said she wished she never met me, as I "ruined her life", I was an awful father, etc. Yes, she cheated. At least you got some decent closure out of it, and maybe she is even honest - women have dual mating strategy. One type of person for fun, another to raise family with.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/26 02:10 PM
5

My personal demon thinks she is hurting me by ignoring the Father's day completely. If she thought it would bother me, she'd give me a card out of spite.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/26 02:07 PM
5

Nothing will fall apart, he will pump and dump her and move to the next one, having a jolly good laugh on the OP's account. Maybe he gives him a wink next time goes to pickup his kid after the practice. No, he didn't gave an oath but we used to have pistols at dawn for this exact reason so you could get some satisfation as a slighted party. We cannot have a functioning society (which is based on a nuclear family) if there are no repercusions for destroying someone's life, in fact the State is re…
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/26 01:32 PM
4

Don't spread rhe damage. You need some time for healing. And yes, you will find even better women.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/26 02:07 AM
2

I made financial concessions for the kids and she turned even more hateful. "Someone$ justa gwve her a brand new car while I am moving from one studio apartment to the next working 12h days. Keep that in mind, there won't be any plus points and kids might get alienated anyway which is common with cheaters - must be your fault, not hers.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/26 07:27 PM
2

Yup, it's his MO and people like that think they are unreachable.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/26 03:13 PM
9

I told his wife and she kicked im out. Saw him not long ago and he didn't look as cocky as before, I guess it's not so fun anymore when the stakes are your own family. Should have thanked him though as I am now dating a 21yo instead listening to my ex wife's endless complaints.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/26 03:11 PM
2

This is real life, not a Hollywood rom-com.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/26 10:51 PM
2

Things change, your brain will rewire and you'll get the energy back. You ARE only 28, it's a dumb simplistic and dismissive statement but also a fact. I spent ~20 years with my ex, we have 2 small kids, she cheated, is cruel and I am now piss poor. I am 45 and the women I've dated in the past year were way younger. My biggest issue is that I don't want more kids (and they mostly do - and soon). You will have the advantage if you want a family life in your future. You'll do alright, no worries.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/26 02:28 PM
1

After being 18 years married and loyal I feel like an innocent chalant boy in a world of hungry evil women. It's brutal out there.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/26 11:42 PM
1

Nothing, really. But good luck with that, I'm only finding increasingly younger and crazier ones and all of them were into choking. One day someone is gonna stab me. And I just wanted a peaceful family life.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/26 11:38 PM
4

This poor woman has suffered so much already and you have the audacity to stand up for yourself? Monstruos. How dare you!
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/26 11:28 PM
2

It's all a big joke. And all the married men were telling this since forever, all my married friends have come out to me with stories like these while every woman ever has had the exact opposite experience - it was all his fault. We just aren't built to stick together long term and I won't even try anymore. I gave my best for 20 years, I loved this woman truly and deeply and yet, here I am. You know what's even funnier? I have this same post divorce outlook on marriage and relationships in real …
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 04:57 PM
3

You nailed it. It's complete bullshit, and they know it. She doesn't want to show her hand as then you would be prepared and possibly leave her first before she gets her shit in order to leave you.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 03:10 PM
7

You women mix up one sided complaining and nagging for connection and communication. Feelings are also never openly discussed, and a lot of future faking occurs as the facade of family life normalcy and routine. This is what confuses the husband as I've never met a woman who does not complain about her husband or her life, many of them married still and possibly even staying married forever.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 03:08 PM
5

We know how it was, the guy who already had sex 4 times a year tried his best, then forgot what a hug feels like and started spending an hour after work parked in a car on his driveway wishing for a quick death.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 03:02 PM
8

Must be nice being a woman. You can just say "I'm not happy" on a random Tuesday and the spouse will bend over backwards to provide you with your princess era lifestyle. No sex for you though, she's not a very sexual person anymore. Sex isn't everything and you only think about that one thing. Her huge mental load can't fit your unrealistic expectations of marital sex, that's a you problem and you have to curb your expectations. Maybe if you did 100% of chores and paid for everything, she will r…
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 02:59 PM
5

I've never met a woman in my life that was happy with everything in her life, but all of them blamed the closest person for it - their husband. But what do I know, my wife was apparently never happy (18 years) despite having no problems with bringing another child in the world, buying a house, a car and going on an expensive vacation the year before. And for sure she isn't happy now. That's also my fault somehow in her mind.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 02:53 PM
2

Never been with a woman whom I was not physically attracted to and I don't understand how men do it. Would rather die alone.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 02:43 PM
5

Yeah, women don't really care about the age gap like the loud minority of butthurt leftover women on Reddit would like you to think. They care only if the younger woman you're dating is not them.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 02:30 PM
5

Not so sure, I never used the apps and meet women in the wild. My relationships post divorce have been with women 15-25 years younger than me, my ex wife was 5 years younger. Never had an awkward experience and I consider myself average in looks, maybe above average for my age. edit: This probably works because men aged as these girls I've dated have zero social awareness, I hang out with younger guys, seen younger couples on first dates and it's cringeworthy. Those men have zero game, while you…
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 02:24 PM
2

They always shit test and depending on how many previous shit test you failed before, she learns you are harmless and weak so she doesn't even have to pretend to be a good nice person. Next comes physical abuse.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 02:05 PM
1

You open the door and ask her for the ex's number so he can come and help her pack.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 02:02 PM
3

Not personally, no. Neither did I try to, at best I wanted us to remain friendly for the kids and I failed at that (she cheated and she hates me, ain't that funny). But from what I've seen in real life, people who stuck together (for whatever reason) where the one party cheated don't look happy and they are rarely seen together, in fact they look like they've aged 10 years overnight. My ex wife's affair partner's wife is one of those people and I feel sorry for her as she looks like a ghost. See…
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 12:22 PM
1

Nothing sus here. I trust this woman! /s That's the guy who was working from the inside, the guy she had an affair with long before she decided to leave you. He's not to blame as much as her as she fed him bullshit about you for God knows how long so his Mr. White Knight mode activated to "save her". She gave the go sign. And him taking your kid to the zoo and the park shows the guy is about to experience the same as you if he stays with her long term. Chad doesn't babysit other man's kids. The …
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 11:49 AM
1

It's because there is always stuff going behind your back (someone else) and the sight of you reminds her of her guilty conscience, you might ask uncomfortable questions, start getting emotional (which disgusts them at this point), so that's their only go to option - to turn cold and ghost. It doesn't matter if you were together 20 years or 2 weeks, it's always the same, the switch flips. That's why the manosphere instructs men not to take women too seriously, not to invest all into them expecti…
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 11:17 AM
1

Don't do this. She has someone else and the robotic mode is for you to get the hint and stop pursuing. She'll change the tune only when she finds out she was replaced with another woman, and not because she loves you or misses you. She'll be there to ruin it for you. Right now you have absolutely zero value in her eyes. She doesn't want you so that must mean nobody wants you and you are less than human. Trust me, had this happen many many times in my life, women will even share you with another …
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 10:54 AM
2

Had this happen 20 times in my life, but "I'm nothing like the other girls". Once you understand women life becomes so much easier.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 10:30 AM
12

Her main option didn't follow through.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 04:22 PM
1

Or malice, to sabotage your new relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 04:06 PM
2

It disgusts them, nothing is more of a turn off than a man without options. Women want to be chosen out of a gruop, they need to have competition, to feel special. If she doesn't want you, she thinks no one would ever want you and this will only stop when you have another woman in your life, then she'll be back to ruin it for you with fake promises and be gone the next week. Simple creatures really, they never outgrow highschool.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 04:05 PM
6

Start dating other women and you'll quickly see your wife is not unique. My ex is 40 and I've talked to girls as young as 21 and figured out they were more mature than my ex of 18 years. I was just blind or accepted a lot of her flaws and shortcomings because I loved her and had the sunk cost fallacy, or maybe even more stupid - scarcity mindset that she is "special". Once she discarded me like trash for another all the love I had for her died overnight. Just date and experience new things, you'…
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 04:00 PM
12

I feel like this vasectomy thing is just a big shit test by women.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 12:14 PM
13

I live in a culture where no one is getting a vasectomy. Read a few stories here where the husband was pushed into one (hoping the dwindling sex life will improve) and got the papers served or getting cheates on while he was still recovering from the surgery. I see it as a control mechanism, ensuring you won't have kids once she dumps you - your resources won't be going to another woman or your new child.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 10:08 AM
11

My autistic kid, my other kid that was just one year old, the big house we just bought where I sunk all of my money in and the hopium how her moods were only temporary. Hopium died in the last year so I almost had a mental breakdown from stress. Trying to get home after she is already sleeping upstairs. I can't imagine what the state of me would have been if she didn't cheat then leave (oh, so that's why you were a major bitch making my life miserable all the time).
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/26 07:23 AM
2

Yeah, I know. I dated a girl with BPD briefly, but she couldn't fake it for long. I also had the first impression that she was awesome.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/26 04:57 PM
2

Same. And what's even more crazy she has the body language/tone of someone who was wronged by me even after a year.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/26 12:37 PM
2

I married an NPD (undiagnosed, but 100% she has it due knowing her for 20 years and her family history - I figured it out during our separation) and I admit I ignored all the early relationship sighs some due to ignorance, some due to naivety that she had changed. We dated for some time then got back together 5 years later, under which time she got her act perfectly together and held it almost impeccably till she have birth to our 1st kid. Only after the breakup, 1 year after her 2nd birth she s…
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/26 11:51 AM
3

Did you know she had BPD beforehand?
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/26 11:45 AM
15

"I never asked you to do any of these things". or was it " I could have done this all without you anyway".
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 09:09 PM
3

Always are. Don't fall for it.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 07:36 PM
9

She just wants control, stand you ground and have fun.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 07:33 PM
8

"That's not dad, that's Steve, the new victim." Don't say it out loud.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 12:09 AM
2

Mine is being a major malicious cold hateful bitch every time I see her (about 3x a week) so that helps. Attraction has always started for me at the face, a smile, a look in the eyes, or a tone of voice. Idk, I guess I look good for my age or at least I'm doing something right to get many girls openly flirt with me or at least smile or look me in the eyes and be friendly and chatty on a daily basis. Each of them is more attractive to me now than my ex, even if my ex is objectively prettier than …
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 12:01 AM
2

Same, mine wanted to control my time and at the end even 100% wasn't enough. I haven't been out with friends for last 15 years of my marriage. But then the fights started if I had a coffee break with work colleagues during my shift. She on the other hand went out with her friends whenever she wanted, no questions asked.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 11:49 PM
6

No, women start fights with you because they want you to leave. The fights are not the reason, they are just a tactic. She got what she wanted - separation, you out of the way of her dating someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 11:12 PM
6

Also I have tried talking to these women as a friend to give them an honest male perspective on relationships and dating and I have only made them angry and offended by speaking the truth, or they have dismissed it, called me bitter, cruel, backwards, whatever. Sometimes even tried to undermine my confidence subtly criticising my looks, etc. Last thing a woman wants is someone being honest, they want total support in their delusions. They'd rather keep making the same mistakes than change a thin…
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 10:54 PM
10

Women really don't have real friends, they have frenemies, trying to sabotage one another due to intrasexual competition, by giving bad advice or supporting bad decisions. Yes, my ex got into a group of 40+ disatisfied women and I've seen their chats and was physically present many times in that girl group and the topic of conversation was always complaining about their husbands. One cheated on her husband, divorced and my marriage didn't last a year after that. I have some female "friends" afte…
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 10:45 PM
6

Slept with other girls. My ex is and aways was smoking hot but cheating turned me off forever. I wouldn't take a walnut out of her hand now, let alone sleep with her.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/26 10:19 PM
3

She settled for you as the others didn't want to commit. She'll keep on cheating on you for the rest of your life. Brutal, but it's the truth.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/26 06:21 AM
8

No, you are normal and do not need to get over it. These women are delusional.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/26 06:19 AM
3

I think your friend likes you more than a friend.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/26 08:00 PM
1

Women don't care if they find you attractive. I have my own place but we end up in the car, or they invite me over. Most sex I ever had was when I was living with my parents. Or was unemployed. Women are like animals, have fremale friends so I listen to stories. Turns you off from dating but if you want sex, go for it.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/26 05:51 PM
12

Take it all, just give me back my 20 years.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/26 05:28 PM
10

Same. I couldn't believe it.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/26 05:16 PM
14

My armor is contempt. My shield is disgust. My sword is hatred.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/26 05:12 PM
5

Don't. Really. I have met a lot men and women that had fathers that killed themselves - it changes them permanently. Really horrible stuff, some develop personality disorders. A lot of drugs, alcohol abuse. And have higher odds of killing themselves. I've dated women like this, it's very sad. You might be far away but you will be there if needed. I am not in a good financial situation either and I don't live in the US and the average wage is ~1500$ per month here, have 2 kids, one with a disabil…
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 10:01 PM
17

Just find a woman that hates you and buy her a house.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 09:49 PM
5

Same, it was a bonding experience for me. I did not seek them out, they found me or at least those are the ones that stuck with me for long term relationships. My ex wife for instance had a very psychologically abusive father and I thought great - we have something similar to bond about, it will be two of us against the world. She moved in at my place within a year. Her father hated me and I saw this man less than 10 times in 18 years, he never even saw our two children. He urged her to dump me …
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 09:45 PM
5

Same thing with my father, after I turned 6, he was always on some business trip and my mom had a handful with my younger sibling. Spent my teens depressed, jumping from one to the next failed relationship with emotionally unavailable women trying to just be loved for once. Had to reach 44 years of age to find out my taste in women is the problem - I was very succeptible to early relationhip love and sex bombing. My therapist told me I probably developed a savior complex trauma. I can fix her me…
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 07:34 PM
3

You can try what I did, fall for a girl you knew in passing in the same week that your wife left you. You'll learn a lot about yourself but those few weeks of infatuation and good sex will end up hurting more than your marriage falling apart. When it gets shot down in flames it will hurt like hell for months, but at least you will get over your wife quickly and learn all women are very similar. But seriously, don't do this. I made a lot of mistakes during my stages of grief.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 06:45 PM
4

The reason for validation seeking is probably due to a core childhood wound as you were possibly taught to earn love and was not loved unconditionally. I have the same thing, if you knew my parents you'd understand. It's not weird but it's hurting you and will continue to hurt you in every relationship (women with borderine personality disorders love us) until you put yourself first, stop people pleasing, develop healthy boundaries, lose the scarcity mindset and stop needing validation from wome…
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 06:38 PM
3

What you need to do is never ever show any emotions in front of her. You are in shock and going through the stages of grief, one of them being rage - and they can return and not come in order. Trust me, 6 months will pass and you'll feel like she did you a huge favor. Working out, music, hanging with your friends, helps a lot. Don't isolate. Spend as much time as you can away from her until she moves away. Once she moves you don't have to see her or hear from her again, as you have no kids. I lo…
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 06:27 PM
11

"Well I changed my mind". 💅
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 06:18 PM
7

Same bro, we went through it all together and I relaxed (trusted her completely) but it's not the hair or weight or zest for life, they leave anyway. To her it meant nothing, for me half of my life was an illusion, nothing was real, all my memories lost meaning. It changed me, I saw too much, heard too much, learned too much, I'll never be able to go back to the good guy I was before. Will never be able to trust a woman or give myself completely ever again.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 05:32 PM
13

The biggest letdown was spending 18 years with that woman and not deserving some basic honesty. Just miss me with that highschool breakup shit. In all seriousness, worse than the cheating itself.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 01:20 PM
3

This doesn't work as the other side has absolutely no romantic interest in you anymore. She doesn't want any of the things you listed, it actually bothers her and she'll be distant and cold, leaving ypu feeling like an idiot and depressed. Well, at least she doesn't want these things coming from you. Also, mature honest conversation with a woman who has lost feelings for you? That must be a joke. This has never worked in your favor - at best you'll be a better servant to her while she gives noth…
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/26 11:47 AM
3

The audacity of these women.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/26 11:31 AM
3

Classic. They really all follow the same playbook. I'll never understand if starting these idiotic fights to get a reaction and then blame you for it is intentional or not. Like, are they that manipulative or just completely insane and not aware of it.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 11:34 PM
9

3 years before it happened I started noticing little things, like her coming home from work and passing me by without a kiss when I greeted her at the door, if she was home and I was at the door, she'd unlock the door and leave before I came in. When she woke me up in the morning she turned on the lights and shook me by the foot. Noticed she had a selfish and ungrateful comments about my mom when she gifted us some money. I just couldn't leave as we had a kid with disability, divorce was not eve…
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 11:07 PM
2

Not here with the legal advice since I'm not in the US, but as a former stay at home dad of 3 years I'm sorry this happened and I wish you the best of luck in the future.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 08:11 PM
1

The only one that goes against the collective experience of men here is a 2 days old account selling a coaching program at 27$ a month. He failed to mention his wife was recently living and working long distance. Yes, she 100% found the other guy there but he is deluding himself still and seeking advice that will fit his delusion on other subs so you may still get a customer. Some people just like to suffer when the truth is obvious - his ex was a fair weather wife. Or he can just take the free …
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 02:50 PM
1

Obviously nobody (including me) would find a job if you paid them 5k a month. Great incentive to never get married or get a job again. Bizzaro world. Consider retiring in Eastern Europe, with 5k you could live like a king here, beachfront with 3 live in maids.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 08:50 AM
1

What is USA retarded or what? Can't you just go to court and say - look, I'm paying 5k a month so this healthy woman living in a 1.6 mil home can play tennis all day. My European mind can't comprehend this lunacy. Dude, anesthesiologists, which is a higly in-demand job get paid 2.5-3.5k per month here.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 08:07 AM
3

Never negotiate with terrorists. She makes you feel guilty as you still care what she thinks. Also, don't do her any favors. Btw US is crazy, here (where people work for 1000$ per month) she would be told to get a job and fuck off with 0 alimony. Is she disabled? No? Get to work.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 08:02 AM
2

Mine is only two but so far I'll give him the talk - no marriage, have kids earlier so when it breaks down you are still young and kids grown, don't have anything in your name. I plan on leaving him everything when I die anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 07:38 PM
2

I'm not in the US, so marriage was just a formality (9 people) as we already lived together for 12 years before we had a kid, and the divorce was not expensive or a major impact in my life any more than a regular breakup at this point would be. Civil union laws apply after 3 years or if a kid is born. We had two. I always wanted kids so... kinda hard to have kids without a long term relationship with a woman and cohabitating with her. I'd do it all over again if I could for my kids. Would I get …
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 07:28 PM
1

Waffle almond acorn waffle biscuit otter This post was anonymized with Redact.dev
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 11:37 AM
7

It's not bitterness, it's being fed up with all the women on the planet defendind the Sisterhood with "You must have done something". Can you accept that sometimes you can do everything right and still lose and how not all women are good people? I see men like that all the time, I don't defend them or associate with them and have trouble understanding why women struggle with it when it comes to their own sex.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 10:21 AM
13

If I were you, I wouldn't listen to her reasons as soon you will find out about the other guy (usually it's months before you know) and realize she is just gaslighting you to shift the blame completely on you. Yes, there always is another guy and that guy provides nothing but dick and validation. He just had to show up and dish out some compliments.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 12:57 AM
20

So, after reading all of these stories where women cheated, made false allegations against the husband who provided for decades your go to reason for it is how men weren't "vulnerable" enough due to patriarchal upbringing. Gtfo. Yes, the sex was good, I'm sure nobody would stay with me for 18 years if it wasn't, yes I had her back at all times, yes I was vulnerable but she showed no empathy and left me at my lowest (caused by her malcontent), cheated just after I put my entire inheritance into t…
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 09:45 PM
3

She lost attraction (if there ever was any and she didn't settle for you as you were good on paper) and everything that comes out of her mouth is a post-fact rationalization of a feeling that has no logic behind it in the first place. Desire is not rational, it's subconscious, and relies heavily on physical traits and an illusion of who you might be, than who you really are. Love is a temporary feeling meant to have you in a chemical bliss until you have kids reach some independance. Men underst…
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 02:19 PM
9

The warning sign is the cohabitation with a woman as they all eventually get tired of you (science says 5-7 years max), no matter what you do or don't. We got women over here living the dream lives and cheating on their husbands with some loser at the bar she met 20 minutes ago. Every argument that follows is "the God of the gaps" - well did you do x or failed to do y. It doesn't matter. There really is no recipe for keeping them happy as biology trumps everything. Marriage is a man man institut…
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 02:04 PM
5

It's normal, your brain is rewiring. Try to socialize as much as you can, and if you don't have friends be a regular somewhere and you'll meet people. Second hardest thing is going to hit when you get really sick and there is no one that cares or to help you.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 01:00 PM
5

Yes, goes on and off, a year into divorce. Taking some time off just for yourself helps. Working all the time, focusing on other people's needs led me into anhedonia - but when I stopped and focused on my mental health and did absolutely nothing for a while, the boredom started all my previous passions and interests returned. I think I haven't experienced boredom for last 7 years of my marriage, just the feeling of being burnt out. And for some reason I'm getting a lot of hate for it from other …
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 12:56 PM
3

It means she needs space, to find herself as she's never experienced being single, right? She can't heal while in a relationship but wants to remain friends while you go through the divorce. I trust this woman.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 12:41 PM
2

Griffin is great, he has that calm father figure energy. I find myself in all of his videos and we have a good chuckle at my own expense.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 12:38 PM
10

Love you but not in love with you is female code for I've met someone else. Cancel that cruise and get your money back.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 12:35 PM
1

A lot has happened in 6 hours, I see.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 12:31 PM
2

I'd suggest he looks into John Griffin Life 2.0 on Youtube as he deals with restarting a single life in a non jaded, quite optimistic and humourous way. Sometimes you have to take a step back and laugh at yourself how naive you were.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 12:11 PM
6

Briffault's Law is bigger than gravity.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 12:07 PM
2

Well, that was excpected from you and just the bare minimum, as she is the prize /s
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 12:02 PM
9

Like I had, you also have a savior complex trauma. I'd bet as a child, you learned from your emotionally distant parents that love should be earned, and craved validation from someone to tell you that you are a good man. You are a good man, I'm telling you this now. But good men get taken advantage off, as good men have weak boundaries, surpress their own needs, give everything while expecting nothing back or being satisfied with scraps. A tap on the head from the woman we gave everything just t…
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/26 06:36 PM
2

I really don't know, she fell for a married guy, her friend's husband - a father of two. But I'm sure she is a narcissist and suffers from magical thinking. Once I caught her cheating her story changed many times. Trickle truth more than a story that is. She got some much needed validation from a serial cheater and I guess it was enough for her to nuke our lives, having a baby and a special needs kid. Everything I'll inherit is in my mom's name and I'm not rich, paycheck to paycheck now so she r…
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/26 01:13 PM
1

I work every day of the week, 8-12 hours. Also have kids (one is 2yo) and no help from anyone. Ex wife has a retired mother near with nothing better to do. I've had mostly financial, but some mental and health struggles post divorce and sometimes saw them 2 days a week or even skipped a week if I was very ill and in bed. The kids love me very much and their attitude hasn't changed even when I was a SAHD and with them all the time. What's best for the kids is what is best for you, now, to stand a…
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/26 07:36 PM
3

Same here, up to 30% of my income but thankfully it's not (for now).
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/26 07:24 PM
10

They really never get over their exes. Mine went nuts during the 2nd half of her last pregnancy. God knows for how long she has cheated on me and with how many people during our 18 years together. Might be just that last guy she fell for an made it obvious or it might have been forever, not like I could get one truthful sentence out of her now. I'll never know really the full truth and better to not think about it too deep, but it does erase your whole history knowing your dear wife was a socopa…
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/26 07:23 PM
5

I knew it was over as soon as I found out it was cheating. The feeling of betrayal and anger let me go after 4 months, I completely detached when I fell for and slept with another girl, some 8 months into our breakup. That one turned to be an even bigger nutcase but she taught me some valuable lessons about women and myself. I've been living the volcel life for the past 4 months and I'd say I'm feeling better than ever, a year into my divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/26 07:13 PM
3

I've read your post history and it seems like your ex lived a cozy slacker lifestyle people would kill for. No stress, no chores, just chilling at home, and yet she got bored anyway. Does she really expect to have it that good in the next relationship? And an ex from 12 years ago? She may be in for a rude awakening.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/26 07:07 PM
9

I guess I'm not the only one with a wife cheating within 1 year of having a baby. I really didn't see that one coming. Was a hard thing to wrap my mind over, since it made no sense whatsoever.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/26 03:57 PM
3

Mine is an undiagnosed covert narcissist, we were together for 18 years and she started devaluing me in the last 5 years, last 2 really abusing me psychologically. I was a mental wreck and at a point where I had panic attacks daily and had to sedate to get through the day. I was borderline suicidal, thinking I would have a heart attack any minute now, considering checking myself into a mental ward as I couldn't bring myself to come home after work and endure her contempt or weeks long silent tre…
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/26 01:19 PM
9

Almost as if they don't have a real concept of honor, duty, loyalty and lifelong commitment. Ever tried having an open conversation with a woman about the motives behind her decisions? "Well, I've changed my mind." - it all comes down to this, discussion over.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/26 12:52 PM
21

They live in the moment of their current feelings, once her biggest wish was to get chosen, married and have kids (all of her friends are doing it!), now she's "changed her mind". And she might change her mind again and try to get back in the future once the delulu passes. Once you understand women operate with a maturity of a 4yo it all makes sense.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/26 12:46 PM
2

I hope you stop with the concessions and go back fighting for giving her the minimum you are required to by law and nothing else.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/26 11:36 AM
1

I'm in Europe and it's far simpler and cheaper here. My divorce cost me 13€, no lawyers and it was done in hour and a half, after a month of waiting for an appointment at Social Services Centre, the alimony is 1 year max but all women work anyway so rarely if ever anyone gets it, only child support which is 200€ for 2 kids - no other expenses, far less than the government minimum (246€ per child up to 6 years of age). Even if I earned a million € per year, the CS would not exceed 846€ per child,…
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 12:25 PM
4

When they lose desire for you the marriage is already over. You could stay and put up with zero intimacy, leave, cheat, whatever - she is on her way out and will leave you eventually. She won't be sexless for the next man, quite the opposite.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/26 10:02 PM
3

Yes, they surround themselves with really awful people. Mine used to gossip about them and told me how they get on her nerves, are annoying or how she dislikes them, but they are now her core group as they support her fully and without any questions asked - similar 40+ married/divorced women complainers who spend all the time bitching about their husbands. I've met those men an they are all solid. None are abusive, just dads grinding. Firm handshake loyal type of men eager to step in and help yo…
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/26 05:01 PM
9

Communication for months had been purely kids/chores related, no affection, your affectionate messages have been reacted to with an emoji. No basic affection in rl, physical avoidance or irritation if you initiate. Doesn't want to spent time with you, is always busy or tired or has to to somewhere. Is increasingly spending time with other people. When the cheating starts, she had already upgraded her looks, wardrobe, started working out, is openly annoyed with you and is making mountains from mo…
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/26 12:35 PM
1

They weren't grieving, in fact the opposite happened - they used us for stability and resporces faking everything was OK as they were searching to slide into the next relationship. To "upgrade" and "get the man they deserve". And then they celebrated their "freedom from oppresion of marriage". When they started to get openly mean, the cheating had already started. If they really grieved they would have tried everything in their power to save the relationship, but the reality is that all of thr m…
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 01:20 PM
1

Kids of modern women better start saving for therapy.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/26 05:06 PM
1

You can skip the bill and assume the worst, once you get the gut feeling that something is off, she is acting different, cold, argumentative, dismissive, the warmth is gone, she is going to places alone (or with "a friend"), and on the other hand started worjing out, taking graeat care about her appearance - yes, they are cheating. And if she is asking for separation/divorce the cheating has been going on for a good while.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/26 03:41 PM
3

Not giving compliments and always bringing you down when something good happens to you is a major narcissistic trait. Not all women are like this, but yours and mine were - I lived the same life. Now, when you start dating again, you'll be very vulnerable to love bombing from similary damaged women, so have that in mind.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/26 09:50 AM
1

Sucks to see good men (like I was once) getting completely blindsided and walked over. This sub saved my life but is also one of the most depressing places on the planet in a way. Makes you really question your whole perspective on life and relationships. Yeah, I believe women don't really love men as we love them, they use men to better their own lives. When you are in her sights in the beginning - she's thinking of you as a prospect. What can he offer me, how can I mold him into something that…
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/26 10:18 AM
10

You fucked this up as you obviously gave it too much importance and attention, and not just dismissed it as nonsense and hung up the phone. You recent gf got the whiff of you still caring too much what your ex wife thinks and she was probably right. The new woman wants to have complete control over your mind, that's how it works. They can tolerate you simping for them, respect you if you establish healthy boundaries but they never tolerate simping for the ex.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/26 03:23 PM
3

Let me guess, she had a troublesome relationship with her father?
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/26 01:29 AM
0

If it makes any better, all of our exes are like that, so yours is not special in that regard and you shouldn't take it personal. It's what women do, the movies lied to us. You can accept it and move on or ruin your health obsessing over it. Also remember the next one you fall for will have the capacity to do the exact same thing to you once her feelings fade.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/26 07:53 AM
2

These are all just excuses for their shitty behavior due to loss of attraction and built up contempt - they are not without agency or mentally ill, just being a bitch to the husband and husband only, the safe emotional punching bag, the loser she lost respect for as she knows the system has him by the balls. They don't treat their friends or their boss the same way. And none of the ex wives here had problems with intimacy and sex with the next guy. These are all made up problems for the guy she …
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 03:27 PM
2

I wish I left 3 years sooner before I started noticing things and before she cheated and then discarded me woth no remorse. But I was a fool thinking this is temporary and found excuses for her until I just couldn't anymore and it completely wore me down mentally - if this continued further it would surely start to affect my physical health.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 03:21 PM
3

As someone who has gone thought this exact thing word for word, and I'd bet most of the men here - your marriage is done. You can stay but she won't, eventually she'll be comfortable to cheat, monkeybranch and clean you out. You have served your purpose as a husband and it never gets better past this point. Since you are aware of what is happening, it's years too late to save anything, when you start to notice things and browse the divorce forum - she is waaaay ahead of you.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 01:17 PM
1

Exact same situation but with younger kids, and I'm 5 years older 🥲 Their smiles when they see me keep me going. I'm a year after divorce and not sure if I will ever rebuild.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 11:00 PM
1

Hashtag believe all women /s
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 07:40 PM
2

Summed it up perfectly 👑
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 10:15 AM
1

I agree, my kids are still very small and the divorce fresh. This is going to be a hard task for the future, and I want to be normal but she won't. Or can't. Thank you for the link.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 06:48 AM
2

r/AWDTSGisToxic
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 07:49 PM
17

The only woman post divorce that really understood me and gave me a hug (despite being my ex wife's friend) was a lesbian. Just sayin'. They know what we deal with 😅
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 01:38 PM
1

Both dismissive and avoidant. We somehow find each other, no matter who initiates. My dating life is the source of perpetual entertainment to my friends. The recent fearful one (I learned too late she had BPD) really set my mental health back, took me 4 months to recover from it.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 01:20 AM
2

Told his wife when I gathered enough evidence. My wife was painting me as insane to her and continued to visit her or call her and her kids over while still having affair with her husband. She kicked him out but decided to stick it out for the kids, as their older kid had a severe reaction to him being kicked out. She looks like she aged 10 years overnight while my narcissistic ex looks better than ever - she's titanium. Gotta hand it to her, as the whole town knows now and she has a public job.…
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 11:18 PM
2

Yeah, I found out I have 1 true friend in the whole world, and it was the last guy I befriended just a few years before my divorce, ironically. Not even my own mother is supportive, as a typical woman - everything is her problem and a burden, even my emotions or mental health. But I pulled through within a year, 6 months maybe even emorionally. This shit opens your eyes really, makes or breaks you. You got this, you'll find new people, but in the end we have to deal with all this on our own.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 10:21 PM
2

There's a whole men's sub on Reddit explaining this problem.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 04:22 PM
6

Location turned off and separate phone because of the messages, are you sure it was just emotional in her head? They don't leave if they are not sure the other side will go through. Mine had sex in the parking lots, was never absent for more that an hour or two.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 04:09 PM
0

I've had this a few times in my life, I thought it was love. They tried really really hard and every time I developed some feelings, the switch flipped and they turned cold overnight. I guess I was conquered, my mystery gone and illusion broken, went from alpha Chad into the simp mental compartment. My own ex wife did this, pursued me, lovebombed me and the more I loved her back the worse she became. They really just want the fucking chase and being unhappy.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 06:59 AM
-1

I've had women accuse me of seeing them excusively as sex objects and trying to hook me in with sex at the same time. It's like internally they think they have nothing else to offer, my magic pussy will make him fall for me. As long as I am emotionally unavailable this works for months, some even DM me years after to hook up. I've also had women who ghosted me the minute I showed some affection or expected some warmth or affection back. I've been labeled as needy and bothersome for being human. …
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 06:49 AM
2

A very good insight.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 08:52 PM
2

Unless she has a narcissistic personality disorder and has a fake persona since the early childhood Then nothing was or ever will be real in her life.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 08:27 PM
8

Exactly the same situation like yours. Mine hates me now as I've exposed her affair - she cheated on me with her friend's husband then gaslit me and tried to ruin my image as a father and a husband to everyone. Reading this sub for 2-3 years have made me see most of not all women that are done fit this pattern - so it must be the female nature in this specific scenario. This transcends nations, cultures and religions. The negative aspects of this realisation is inability to see them as thinking,…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 08:25 PM
2

Sadly, it really is like that. I've pondered over this shit a lot and it seems you just can't win long term. Best what I've heard was - always be her best option. Easy to say, but life happens and eventually we all grow old.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 07:39 PM
0

I also had it good while younger, was never 2 weeks without a girl and was treated best by the ones I cared for the least. They really just want the unavailable chad to bang them, but if you end up in the relationship with them they'll grind you down and start the cycle again. This happened to me with my ex wife, she pursued me at the same time another girl pursued me, my ex won in the end by bending over backwards for me. She was stunning at 21 and couldn't accept someone wouldn't want her or s…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 07:37 PM
1

I have been that fuckboy that they want. I look good, way younger (15 years maybe, as I've been told many times), I am emotionaly unavailable and it fucking drives some of them crazy. Every time I showed a minimum of normalcy in a relationship with a woman, or God forbid I fell for her - I got completely obliterated. They are the problem.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 07:20 PM
2

I have female friends and you know that meme? "When you have to be supportive, but it definitely sounds like she's the problem". Yeah, they are the problem.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 07:18 PM
12

Yeah, first - never listen to what women day they want, and second - now you understand female nature better, which they don't understand themselves, as they are gomronal and live in the moment of feelz.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 06:38 PM
1

It was an honest comment, made me hungry. A lot of guys here have been cheated on (downplayed with trickle truth), the wife is remoreseful at first, then soon goes into - Oh, just get over it already. Went through something similar ages ago with my ex (just a drunk kiss, should have ended it right there), she never really said sorry, I ignored it and got full blown cheated on 12 years and 2 kids later (the one affair I can prove, that is). That's probably what triggered the comments. We don't kn…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 03:54 PM
5

The ball is always in their court to fix things. If they are done, they are done, getting back together on their initiative is almost always due to necessity, not out of love.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 09:10 AM
1

Sorry this happened to you. Yes, women like to marry up and them being the breadwinner is a ticking clock. Also, getting drunk was an excuse to paint it all on you, while having an affair on the side - if it wasn't for this she'd find some other reason, all the while choosing a lowlife sex offender. Something similar happened to me, her affair partner was a married guy with kids, a guy I knew but for the first few months her reasons for divorcing me were ludicrous. I didn't put the swing on the …
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 09:06 AM
3

Yeah, my spider sense also tingled at "hasn't gotten over it".
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 08:57 AM
1

With your cooking skills, you' be remarried in no time.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 08:55 AM
4

Hahaha, this made me laugh out loud.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 08:30 PM
3

This is why you never take them back after they leave once. It's a manipulation tactic, when guys still think in aspects of "love". Every man needs to read your story.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 02:54 PM
6

Peace, quiet and freedom to do what and when you want. Much less stress from the ex, but new problems (financial, kids) arise. Better to be alone than in a bad marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 02:52 PM
12

She won't be exclusive, this is just keeping you as a backup using sex.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 02:50 PM
12

For all the guys that are getting these mixed messages - they always leave for another guy. When something goes wrong with their plan, the guy doesn't commit, they try to come back, or use you as emotional tampon or validation. That's why they NEVER admit there is another guy and use the playbook phrases like "finding myself", "learning to be alone", because they need a plan B - which is you. It's just manipulation and playing with your feelings, there're notning real here. You don't leave the p…
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 12:39 AM
1

If you are asking yourself if you are, then you are not. If you have ever experienced shame, guilt and felt these emotions without blaming them on someone else, you are not. If you have non-performative empathy for other people's stuggles, without the motivation to look like a saint to the public, you are not. If you are not a perpetual victim, can say an honest sorry and thank you without a "but", you are not. Women (especially narcissistic women) like to throw that word a lot, as a projection.…
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/26 11:33 AM
3

Therapy like in the US does not exist where I live, we have free healthcare and you can go to a psychiatrist for meds, and since he had cleared me as completely sane just in acute stress, I only went 4-5 times during the hardest parts (cheating, my anger outburst towards the AP, divorce). Very Soviet style approach to mental health - you suffer? Good, that means you are alive. There are only a few CBT psychologists in the whole country, none in my town and the price for 45 mins is what a regular…
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/26 08:03 AM
2

"That one was wild and way more in your face. Narc was more behind the scenes, BPD caused public scenes with absolute meltdowns." Yes, that one was way more obvious but fucked me up for 3 months even though short lived. Narcs are the masters of the long game.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 07:28 PM
3

And mine, it's a classic.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 03:28 PM
5

I had a girlfirend like this, gave my best, was patient and understanding but got - this is leading nowhere and ghosting. She decided getting blackout drunk and banging married guys, town drunks and losers was more her style. She deeply hated herself, thought the "love of her life" (some guy she was into but fumbled years ago) was forever gone, considered herself a whore, had abandonment issues due to her absentee father and lost her job due to drinking. What's worse is that she was intelligent …
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 07:27 AM
2

I only attrack those type's of girls (yeah, I am the problem I know, and the alt scene I am a part of does not help - saturated with those types). 7/7 last ones have had dads that were dead, drunks, abusive, or absent. All of them have had severe mental issues because of it. It's a trope but in my experience, it's very very real and they never get over it and all have unhealthy coping habits. Somehow I have both mommy and daddy issues but didn't develop a personality disorder, although I have a …
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/26 11:26 PM
2

Mine too. When the kid came, she actually resented me more for loving him and constanly undermined me as a father. Insane.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/26 11:21 PM
5

After my divorce I dated a BPD girl so I also had to learn everything about that one too, first a narc then a BPD chick. I sure can pic 'em.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/26 11:17 PM
4

I believe you. Living with a narc is being constanly devalued, with ever changing goalposts, her needs are always first and they never stop, alwats chases some new high. Everything is taken for granted, stuff you do loses value fast. She's never wrong, never an apology, always the victim, deep insecurity (mine was very vain but insecure about her looks though very attractive), silent treatments and witdrawal of intimacy as a punishment. It's hard to explain to people that haven't been though it …
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/26 11:15 PM
10

She was always emotionally closed off and I was a people pleaser, we never fought but I carried the relationship until I couldn't as she stopped giving anything back, which greatly affected my mental health and made me very burnt out. She got bored I guess and started having affairs well before I knew, I cought her at her last. She had it all, a big new house, 2 adorable kids, a husband that was loyal and loving, but rather craved shallow validation and excitement of other men (and women). I wil…
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/26 11:03 PM
4

When a BPD person gets a psychology degree. Brutal story.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/26 01:27 PM
2

Total silence and ignoring her like she is a ghost. Though mine found a way even around that, leaving me with the kids when I had to go to work so I would be late. Put a rubber band on your hand and snap it every time you want to say something. Don't.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/26 08:10 AM
6

Anger is a better motivator than anxiety and depression, use it to hit the gym for the gains while it lasts. Also no contact with the ex, no walls of text.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/26 08:00 AM
11

Oof, another classic statement from the female playbook. I'd tell her - when you finally find the person you are, you're going to be extremely disappointed 😀
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/26 07:54 AM
2

Yeah, was in a dead bedroom where I tried initiating all the time, had the "talk" many times but nothing, the AP got her working out and buying insane amounts of sexy lingerie, hooking up in parking lots. Expect to be in shock for a month, at least and don't make any big decisions in that window until you cool off and get through the stages of grief. Yeah, I know it's almost impossible to be normal now - I couldn't do it myself but I wish I did now.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/26 07:26 AM
2

You will be gaslighted and DARVOed, so it will be useful when she tries to make you look insane, to your face and to everyone else that know you. Ask me how I know, lol. But if you confront her with evidence now, she'll go nuclear. Alwaya best to let them lie and leave not too confrontational.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/26 07:22 AM
1

This is true, even in Europe where I live. First consultation is free, that lawyer can't be hired by your stbxw after that.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/26 07:17 AM
7

I know this is hard for you now but it's one of the female classics, don't take it personal - thay all do this when they cheat. They are the one initiating and signaling to the other man that they are available (no, they aren't seduced, they are the one's doing the seducing), and they shit on you dumping everything they can and painting you as weak, and also conspire with their female friends against you. Mine did exactly the seme, I was devalued and discarded. After divorce I've had many women,…
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/26 07:13 AM
8

Dead bedroom for 5 years? Yeah, she was sleeping with someone, too. Probably even that colleague. I wouldn't blame myself too much.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 09:40 PM
6

No kids? Don't show your hand. She'll get very very malicious and complicate the divorce once she is out of the affair fog. Tell her later, after you're divorced.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 09:37 PM
5

Just a warning to not read too much if you think you won't be able to handle it as it will haunt you for a long time. I wish I never learned what I did but I had to because she was gaslighting me and painting me the villain. Export if you can and save.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 09:35 PM
8

I am in the exact same situation. Not with worthlessness as with loss of identity, purpose, drive and unable to form any new meaningful connection with anyone for the last year. I have one supportive friend to talk to, and that's it. Completely alone in the world, in a financial situation that will keep me living paycheck to paycheck forever. I just exist. Need to change something soon but unsure what.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 01:10 PM
5

She went from a person that would adopt a stray kitten or urge me to stop the car and give some grandma a lift to a person that's openly mocking me for threwing out my back and having to go to the ER.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 12:53 PM
5

Yes, went though the exactly same thing a year ago. She turned very mean, cold and argumentative. My gut feeling activated, and soon I found out she was cheating. This smart, competent, professionally succesful woman was sucking her friend's husband dick in parking lots before work. Unreal. We had a second kid not even a year before that. Like a switch had been flipped. Now it's a woman I don't even know anymore, and her refusal for any meaningful closure has made me discard all the memories fro…
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 12:49 PM
3

They always sell a sob story many men fall for and play the role of a white knight until it's their turn to be discarded.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 09:53 AM
12

And they're totally fine if you end up in prison, homeless or hanging from a rope. The empathetic gender.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 06:31 AM
17

Right? Once when there's another dude it's like the switch has been flipped. Your wife poof, gone. All the memories? Meaningless. Humanity? Missing. It's almost like it's all a big act and nothing was ever real.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 06:29 AM
4

Sometimes they need a green light from you "sure honey, it's ok" that they use retroactively to ease the guilt as they did something behind your back. And there are always a lot of things going behind your back. She's not your friend anymore and honesty went out of the window. It's best to mentally prepare and assume the worst. There is a good reason for every divorce and reading this sub for 2 years and in my personal experience and what I've seen from RL friends and people I know - 99% of the …
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 10:45 AM
13

Most of the things they say is to lay you down softly, to make sure you are calm and non confrontational. So whatever she says now I'd take as a form of manipulation and woth a grain of salt. The truth is almost always the opposite from what they say.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 10:12 AM
2

Crime agaist humanity 🥲
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 09:52 AM
23

You should at least push to get visitiation rights every other weekend.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 09:49 AM
4

The question is what if I snapped during the shock phase and really became a villain. There are guys on this sub who are active military, guys who have a drinking problem, guys with an arsenal in the house. Why would someone brutally cheat on you when we have a 1yo at home and then scream at your face and insult you or primp herself in front of you joyfully to get her back blown by the AP? The things she was saying to me during cohabitation were insane. I mean, wtf man. How did this person decid…
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 07:48 AM
9

I kept every picture from our 18 years. Most are on my hard drive and the last 4 years on my phone. I can look at her/us and not feel a thing. Even the old erotic ones when she was early 20s. Not deleting - I had game to pull that baddie, I earned that. Recent pictures with my kids on the other hand, where we were still a family can sometimes make me cry. Rarely, but it still happens after a year.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 07:32 AM
3

The worst 5 weeks of my life. I couldn't stay in the home and watch her being cold and mean and get ready to go out meet her AP, leaving me with the kids. My mere presence annoyed her, she snapped at me cruely. She still found fault in evertything I did. I just couldn't. Kudos to everyone who made it. Many times during the 5 weeks I wondered what is happening in her mind, how can someone be that brave or stupid to have a man in shock, man who lost everything overnight in the same house and still…
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 07:17 AM
2

Mine had her mask slip as soon as she came from the hospital with the first kid, I thought it was normal after giving birth. Then 4 years later she got pregnant again and lost the mask during pregnancy. I should have left after my 1st kid was born and something was off, but what kind of man leaves a woman with a child. I was willing to suffer forever for my kids but she cheated and discarded me when the 2nd kid was 1yo. Now I see it as a blessing. Sadly, I am 45 and not 34.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 05:38 PM
2

Yes it does. A lot of red flags here, defensive, argumenative, personality shift, hiding the phone. You already know the answer.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 05:33 PM
5

This movement does not exist beyond social media. Also, what I told you in another reply - those "single" women are not celibate, in fact, the biggest man haters (hurt by their Chad ex they couldn't land) are the best in bed - a lot of practice.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 02:23 PM
2

That sisterhood gaslighting does not work here, sister. The single moms/divorced women put out the most and are the most desperate to land a man after their initial affair they left their long term husbands for collapses. Source: I'm an attractive man dating. Hope this helped. edit: Also this is you in another sub form your post history, proving me right: "No. Many of us have active libidos. If you aren't getting any there's probably a good reason"
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 02:19 PM
2

Those "single" ladies have the highest bodycounts.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 02:16 PM
2

I just used another phone with Google location sharing in the glove compartment of my own car. For legal purposes if the local PD is reading this: it's not illegal to track your own vehicle for theft prevention.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 01:57 PM
7

"I never asked you to do any of those things!". Sorry brother, but this thread keeps on giving the best of female classics. I wish we men could swap brains and handle each other exes when there's no emotions attached. Mine was the same, 18 years of support and not a single positive word about me. Silence. Year later - every negative word in the dictionary. Women are so much fun.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 01:48 PM
7

No, no, have her come over but make sure there's a younger prettier woman in the home wrapped only in a towel. Let's get nuts!
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 01:43 PM
7

Just look at this "women are always interested" guy over here - my lobster is too buttery, my steak too juicy. The audacity of this guy! 😅
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 01:40 PM
5

Come here, I'll give you a good kick in the ass to snap out of it.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 01:38 PM
2

They have to, to make it easier for them to leave. They have to detach fast, flip the switch to survive. Simultaniously they gaslight both themselves and you. Don't take it personal. Mine hates me with a passionate malice, and yet I still wish her the best as my kids need and love her.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 01:30 PM
4

You are still in denial phase where you accept everything she says to you as a fact. Even the laying you down gently highschool style - I just need time and space to "work on myself"/be alone. Let's be friends. I'm just telling you - not a single woman on the planet is separating/divorcing her husband (and if you leave the house, she'll make sure you don't come back) to be alone. Does she work? Goes out of a house at all? Goes to the gym? Visits relatives? Goes out with friends? Travel for a job…
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 01:09 PM
4

The answer is always another guy. You know how that "space" is going to be used. Separation is to get you out of the way and always leading to divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 10:51 AM
6

Love? Nothing. I couldn't even make myself have sex with her, I'm disgusted by her and my ex is stunning.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 05:39 AM
3

The exact thing you described happened to me, my kids were 5 and 1 at the time. It was the worst thing that ever happened in my life, and I've had a lot. Sorry this is happening, I can't imagine anything worse except the death of a child. Prepare for the rollercoaster of emotions, and to be in denial and shock for a while, also rage. It's been a year for me and I still can't fathom how stupid and selfish she was, but after 5-6 months I accepted the "new normal". Our relationship has deterioirate…
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 11:32 PM
3

Same. This changes you permanently for life.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 08:18 AM
3

Op, please listen to this guy.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 08:13 AM
3

Brutal truth every man needs to hear but won't be able to process without hard evidence. I knew this was happening but her gaslighting was so good that I needed to catch her in the act for my brain to fully process the reality.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 08:07 AM
9

Classic gaslighting - I have deep resentment to you because you left that cup in the sink overnight, you are the sole problem and should jestermaxx to win me over again while I go and bang this other guy I am attracted to. The audacity of these hoes. Sadly, almost none of the guys in their first marriage see the real truth who their wife is and like myself will still love her, have a completely delusional view of her (But I KNOW her, she's not like that at all) and the full realization will come…
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 08:00 AM
10

The time she needs is the time to see if the other guy will commit or not - and she'll try her best in bed to persuade him, while keeping you as an option B. You're cooked, brother. Sorry this is happening.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 07:54 AM
1

It's happening, just behind your back. Once the D word is dropped they start looking for a replacement. Don't get blindsided like I was, being a fool thinking we'll work this out.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 07:46 AM
1

Exactly the same situation/age/time spent together by my kid was 1yo at that time, and even that didn't stop her from cheating and leaving. Take her seriously that she wants out and start preparing.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 07:33 AM
2

If you ever lived with a narc, you'd understand they would never in a million years agree to seek professional help, let alone agree to get a diagnosis from a psychiatrist. Maybe 1/1000 are diagnosed and even then they went for some different problem - severe anxiety or depression most probably. Narcissits are fully functional and their personality disorder is not a disability to them in any way - they are everyone elses problem. And yes, NPD is as real as BPD is, and I've dated both, and girls …
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 07:16 AM
4

Yeah, sadly monsters fits too well. I still can't believe what she turned into (or better said revealed) when I found out she was cheating. Went from perpetual victim to malicious sociopath. I swear to God her eyes turned black and demonic. The veins on her forhead popped up. The person I loved more than life itself at a time now wants me ruined completely and possibly even dead. She can't even stand my kids loving me.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 06:54 PM
3

@SurvivingNarcissism @LiseLeblanc @DoctorRamani @samvaknin - self aware professor with narcisissm Some of the channels on YouTube I found that were insightful about the topic. And be glad you didn't have kids with her like I had with mine, she would never let you have peace.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 06:48 PM
12

From what you described, the "avoidant", the devaluation/discard and selfishness without being accountable points to your ex being a classic narcissits. She isn't ever coming back in a meaningful way you are wishing for. There will be no emotional closure. If she ever reaches out, she will be back for your supply, to use and discard again if needed. I'd suggest you study up on narcissistic patterns ans I assure you, you will find your ex fiting that pattern. Source: was in an 18 years long relat…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 03:00 PM
6

Yup, 100% performative. They can do it easily as they perfect this with their female frenemies.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 01:14 PM
4

Women never outgrow highschool.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 12:46 PM
2

There is always another side guy they left us for so they push away and turn the cold shouder to the husband but if the husband gives up, they come back for the much needed validation. They need you to cling on and beg so in theit mind they can remain the prize, and watch you suffer without them. Awful, vain creatures.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 12:44 PM
8

Same, we never fought. She just withdrew intimacy and I was finding excuses (work, kids, chores, perimenopause) for her until I didn't - then the discard came. She is not finding you more attractive, she is seeing you again as her safe option B to fall on. It's very selfish and calculated and does not come from a place of growth or love. And once she's cozy again, you'll see the pattern repeat. You marriage (and for all of the men here) died when she lost attraction to you and withdrew the intim…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 12:32 PM
1

My whole life, or at least since I was 8yo was a complete disaster. Not much to want for me, and even less so now after the divorce completely ruined my future. I don't live in the US, the economy is cooked here and I'm more or less unable to restart at this age. Not looking for love anymore but some companionship would be nice. The kids love me, are very affectionate for now, they make me happy so this is my driving force.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 11:37 AM
2

I've never seen my ex sad or crying. The only "talk" she ever initiated was the one talk where she came with elaborate plan for the divorce. She later backed down as it was just a manipulation tactic to get out of me what she wanted and assert control as I was starting to set some boundaries and had expectations from her. She cheated less then a year after. I was getting more sad and neglected and lonely in marriage for the last 3 years before separation. I tried to communicate, I tried to pleas…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 10:02 AM
4

You can't be friends. Friends are honest and wish the other party well. You need to detach to polite acquaintances, as she did a long time ago.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 09:54 AM
6

Until I found out her affair was physical and the extent of it - about 5 months in. The gaslighting, the lies, the manipulation, the fake reasons were exposed and I saw the real her, what she is capable of. For months, before we separated she made my life hell for no reason and I was feeling like I was losing my mind or would die from stress. I was falling apart. Then I had a funeral for her as a person I thought I knew in my mind. And I started to eat, sleep and work as I used to do before agai…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 09:51 AM
1

I was ignored as a child and can't get past needing an emotional and physical connection. I gave up on emotional after many disappointments but still the have physical need of closeness, and if I am alone too long I get so touch starved that my whole body hurts and I feel like I'm 90yo. My highs in the past year were all involving women, I get the zest for life and the energy boost to do stuff. Yeah, I know it's not healthy but can't seem to fix this childhood wound. Tried everything and nothing…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 09:45 AM
9

The person that breaks up a family then goes singing and dancing has the maturity of a 4yo. When she told me I completely broke down seeing my kids' future in a broken home, while she was singing and getting primped up to go out drinking and on concerts (and being a side chick to a married guy). I deeply regret ever taking this immature idiot seriously and "mature" just because she was succesful professionally and was 40yo.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 09:33 AM
23

Dead bedroom, she discarded you to have some fun and give randoms what she denied you for years and now the dancing delulu has stopped - Ooops who's gonna pay my bills now? Don't be the guy that gets all the responsibilities of a marriage without any of the benefits.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 09:25 AM
1

Brutal. Time to replace emotional pain with physical pain - pushups till failure.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 08:04 AM
1

Sadly, I'm not that type of guy. I wish I was.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 08:01 AM
2

It's not just you dude, we've all done stupid shit we're not proud of, but life sadly is not a rom-com. I've put way more patience and love into a girl that didn't deserve it even after my divorce. You dust yourself off and carry on. Stumbled upon an Insta reel - Why do I always regret being a good man, but never regret being an asshole?
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 07:57 AM
13

Emotions, honesty, vulnerability, "love" don't work on them, the more that you are needy, the more she sees you weak and confirms leaving you was a good choice. The opposite works, she'll be back when your life is far better withouth her than with her, and when you don't need her, especially if there is another, younger or prettier woman. But then, once you understand they are driven by the lizard brain - you really don't want them back, and never really trust a woman again.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 07:41 AM
6

None of them were ever grieving. It was a calculated discard when the time was right and something better in her mind came along. Sorry, not buying the grieving while they pretend for years that everything is ok as they keep sucking your resources. I've yet to read one story here where woman communicated something was off, and was willing to work on the relationship. I's always cheating and cleaning you out in divorce with a sprinke of playing the victim while she presses false DV charges and al…
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 11:39 PM
1

You are young, I used to be like that at that age, it will pass. Stay strong, King!
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 12:19 PM
8

They never really realize the mistake, they just double down.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 12:09 PM
2

It was a fucking family "friend", her friend's husband, with little kids of his own, very frequent guest in my house and at my kids' parties. It's an understatement that I went completely ballistic when I saw them. 8 more months of probation, no regrets.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/26 11:46 PM
3

I decided not to jestermaxx and use the apps.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/26 11:42 PM
5

Mine was cheating for months, making my life abolsolutely miserable at home so I ended in an ER a couple of times for extreme anxiety while taking my kids to her late night hookups, leaving them in a car. Caught her and here I am with a felony.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/26 11:37 PM
2

"If the non-working party has enough to keep them off the streets for 6-12 months, then the responsibility is on them to keep themselves after that point..." It's like that in my country, a year of spousal maintainance max, and still the divorce rate is 50%+.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/26 11:37 AM
7

This. As they fake at their jobs with their colleagues and their boss, they fake at home. The real woman is the one who divorces you when there are no more stakes for her.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/26 07:53 AM
19

They are all like that at the beginning. They all had the capacity to become what they eventually did. They are not good people but very calculated, manipulative and performative, their moralty bends to their current needs - expect no honor or loyalty and their word is worthless. I have female friends and I see them fake their whole personality when they want to settle down. Get a female friend, you will learn a lot about women. It's brutal.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/26 07:50 AM
6

Girls nights out, shopping, working late, making mountains put of molehills, lashing out. When you confront her with proof - DARVO, gaslighting, fake crying, tricke truth, super sweet if she thinks you have leverage over her social status, malicious and hateful if she don't. Then false DV charges, slandering, rewriting of complete history. Monsters, every single one of them. Something in me died that day a year ago. I could never do that to my worst enemy. Nothing makes a woman more angry than c…
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/26 07:32 AM
13

You're cooked bro. I'd check the phone for changed pins, wardrobe for newly bought lingerie, condoms in the purse/wallet, the works.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 10:07 PM
1

Not in my experience, all of them as they are not used to rejection. If she likes you and you're not interested she'll do anything to prove herself she can change your mind.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 04:44 PM
3

Reverse the situation. How would any woman act if you said you were struggling? I have yet to find a woman that wouldn't see me as a burden. My own ex of 18 years bailed as soon as my issues started, and they weren't even financial, never got any support or empathy. Now, post divorce, my troubles are mostly financial. Nothing serious, no debt I just have to work a lot and live wage to wage. A few women will sleep with me here and there but none are rushing to have any meaningful LTR with me. Eve…
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 04:38 PM
6

From personal experience women who haven't been in (at least a few) LTRs or married and are past 30 have insanely high bodycounts and have been single for a VERY good reason.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 02:27 PM
9

The classic - you get BS gaslighting reasons how it's all about you, you work on yourself and the relationship while they have a guy on the side for months or years before you find about it. And they only want to reconcile for saftey if the other guy bailed, until they find another guy, which will 100% happen again. Nothing left to save but your dignity.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/26 08:29 PM
2

O'd say she is exactly that woman, just without her social mask she wears for everyone to appear a good person.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/26 08:10 PM
3

Sleeping with other women helps to break the illusion of her being that one special person for you in the Universe.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/26 08:09 PM
2

Did your relationship improve after that?
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/26 10:25 PM
8

There are none, exactly because what you described happens a lot.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/26 10:23 PM
1

I have 2 kids, but I often feel the same when I'm not with them, even after a year. Like my whole past was fake, and my imagined future forever taken from me. I just wanted a family peace, and stability. Didn't imagine myself renting at 45 and starting from nothing. Often feel like just existing, surviving instead of living and many thing I enjoyed to relax while married don't have the same effect anymore. But hanging out with people and pushing myself to be out of the house as much as I can hel…
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/26 10:17 PM
2

I also look quite younger and get this a lot. You're missing out on daddy issues girls, brother. They always end up batshit crazy but they are very fun and energetic. And healing in a way.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/26 10:09 PM
1

Your wife is highly manipulative, that "friend" is more than a friend and she's faking being nice and normal as she is waiting you to slip up so she can blame you for the deterioration of your fake "friendship". Fake people who do shit behind yout back are often obsessed with leaving a positive image - so they don't have to look inward and self reflect why they hurt you. Also when she told you she thinks you are handsome and all that - it was another lie, she's just laying you down gently. At th…
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 09:23 PM
6

She was estranged from her dad for the last 7 years, he never even saw my kids and he now reappeared to help her fuck me over by lawfare on marital assets split. Mom, who I had a very close relationship with for 18 years disappeared almost overnight and broke off contact with my mother. I told her about the affair and even though she was initially shocked, soon after she took her daughter's side, downplayed the affair and made fun of my mental health/initial shock state behind my back. Her exten…
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 09:10 PM
3

Next comes the new skimpy lingerie she never used to wear before.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 07:39 PM
6

It's tiresome how they are all the same, using the same playbook.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 07:01 PM
6

Women sabotage their frenemies, if they are unhappy they can't stand someone having a better life than them, so they convince them to implode their lives for the free drama, convince them to cheat especially if they also cheat on their husbands so they cover for each other. Mine had an F in her life, an absolute idiot that cheated on her husband with a 20y younger guy, husband found out and her only regret was not deleting the incriminating messages. 2 young kids, one special needs, exactly like…
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 06:07 PM
5

They all say it's not but it always is. They will swear on the lives of their children. They never leave to be alone, and lie and send mixed signals so they can come back if the option A doesn't work out, until they leave again. Once you understand how they work, you can't unsee it. They go from host to host, and if there's nothing better will latch back onto you for safety and security, resources, validation, etc. They never emotionally outgrow highschool and are highly manipulative and calcula…
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 01:23 PM
3

Never be someone's option B just because some dude saw her as a easy lay and didn't commit.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 01:13 PM
4

The guy is already there but hasn't commited yet.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 01:11 PM
14

"Friend", sleepover with "phone not charging", what is this, highschool all over again? Brother, she is sleeping with someone and feigns everything being normal because of her guilty conscience.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 01:10 PM
8

Always another man.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 09:51 AM
6

My ex won't, she turned from a covert to malignant narc. She burned so many bridges and continues to do so daily that I can't fathom what she would have to do to undo all the shit I have seen and heard.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/26 07:07 PM
7

Same.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/26 07:04 PM
2

When they are done, they are done. At this point you can only save your dignity, accept and not chase. Also be prepared for the high probability of another guy being there before you knew.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/26 07:03 PM
2

Now you learned women react more positive to rejection and not genuine interest.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/26 03:17 PM
6

The most important question, how hot is she?
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/26 03:16 PM
1

PC, I have a time demanding job so usually 00-02 am, strategy games, RPGs. Had a long period after my wife's betrayal and brutal discard where I couldn't enjoy anything and I just existed, but forced myself to go out, sit for hours in coffee shop at least. Met a lot of people, a lot of girls, had a few flings, discovered I still have some zest for life after divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/26 09:12 PM
3

Kids, work, friends, drinks on weekends, younger girls, gaming, working out. I met at least 20 new people I can hang out with in the last year alone, and before that I haven't been outside for 15 years.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/26 07:47 PM
9

The shock is blinding you to even ask this question.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 09:25 PM
3

I really should step up my game.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 04:43 PM
7

I was ready the same week.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 04:42 PM
9

Yes, you don't owe him anything but I'm sure you told your version of the story to many people after divorce (friends, family, etc.). Most people ask just to gossip, this man asked for a good reason - and women really do sell a good victim story. Many of us didn't leave when we were in doubt and many of us were cheated on. Even after cheating we needed the proof of it. My ex faked the whole 18 years and even after the split, one year ago I am finding about the affairs. Everything was fake but th…
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 08:40 PM
15

He did the smartest thing a man could do - doubt her shit and ask the ex directly. You overreacted and possibly fucked him over for no reason. If she didn't cheat on me with him, I would have talked to him bro to bro.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 08:23 PM
3

My ex is a narc, also cheated. Life vastly improved when I found a spine and learned to tell her to fuck off and stopped caring about her tantrums. A few months of this and she learned I really don't give a fuck anymore. She's still a hateful malicious bitch but the manipulation has completely stopped. Not saying you should do this but you can't reason, can't win with a narc by being nice.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 07:18 PM
2

I'm killing it. The key is to just not care, not give a single fuck about the outcome. Flirty, funny with a bit of nonchalant works wonders.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/26 09:42 AM
4

Ignore all the gaslighting shit she says or will ever say. It's always another dude and post fact rationalizations and rewriting of history.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/26 12:50 AM
2

Mine started cheating before our 2nd was 1yo. And we were 18 years together!!! They don't bond like we do, they don't have any honor or loyalty apart to their own fickle feelings and selfishness.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/26 08:48 PM
3

Oh yes. Making mountains put of molehills. In retrospect now I know when the affair started.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/26 08:38 PM
5

The amount of emotional damage should be a felony and eligible for compensation from the parties involved. People kill themselves over this shit.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/26 07:09 PM
4

Yeah, we've all thought that. Mine is different - I KNOW her. There's a life lesson in there.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/26 07:04 PM
6

Nobody becomes a bigger malicious bitch than a woman that has been caught cheating. Mine is not as unhinged, but a year has passed and she still hates me with a passion, just because her lies were exposed.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/26 12:36 PM
11

Mine took my kids on her dates with her AP before I even knew she's cheating. God knows what my kids have been exposed to for months (5 and 1 at the time). Caught her at his job on a night shift, while kids were left alone in the car. Completely lost it, and got a felony for a death threat. Fun times.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/26 02:33 PM
3

Mine were 31, 28, 26, 25, 24, my ex is 40, all with daddy issues. It doesn't stop with age, it forma in early childhood. But the problem is me, not them.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/26 11:15 AM
5

Lucky guy, I used to pull these kind of shifts all the time 7 days a week and she never let me rest. She fucking hated it if I came home mid day on a weekend and wanted a 1h nap to be able to work in the evening.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 11:29 PM
14

I hummed sometimes when I was concentrated on something. Think that was the pettiest one of them all. Her sucking a dick of a married guy in an empty parking lot on a Sunday morning while I was watching kids at home - not a big deal.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 11:26 PM
1

Well, the question was how to forget - her. I also gave him a joke answer. How to fix oneself, that's a whole other thing, still working on it myself.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 05:04 PM
4

Because she's lying, that's why. Once you don't take them seriously and imagine talking to a 4 year old, life gets a lot less complicated emotionally.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 03:36 PM
2

This. Company is more important than setting. If they like to be wined and dined at fancy places, I know she's never gonna be satisfied with anything as they always expect you to outdo yourself each time. My ex was like that, always chasing another high. I'm too old to bother with chasing and impressing a woman.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 12:30 AM
1

I'm ok with that but I like the gesture when they offer to pay, at least it's polite even though we both know it's fake and they prefer we pay. I like when they show some effort and bring some food or drinks to my place when I invite them over. If they never do I know they don't care.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 12:25 AM
10

You have made a bad decision 5 times. At this point it's not about the money but self respect. And never call her your wife, as these 5 times she left you she was everybody's wife. Get a grip, man, she's gonna destroy you, there's no happy end here for you.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 12:20 AM
2

Because you still have hope. I knew I wouldn't take mine back after her affair, but still hoped we could have a normal relationship as two human beings and parents. Took me 6 months of trying and maximum daily exposure to her cruelty to wake me up. We still parallel parent in the family home after I moved out, so I saw her every day during divorce. Maybe if I didn't see her as much I'd still be delusional about her. Overthinking, hoping, waiting. Proximity had the opposite effect.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 12:13 AM
3

I think I've read my exact story here down to the marriage lasting, our ages, kids ages, etc. at least 20 times. Their patterns when they start to stray are almost always identical, from what they do to what they say. Like they have a playbook. Even most men react the same when they find out. I sometimes wonder if we all even have free will or are just controlled by evolutionary mechanisms.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 12:03 AM
2

She doesn't feel the same. None of them do, not a single one on the planet that initiates the divorce. Not even widows - they get the widow's fire (very blackpilling thing to learn it exists). Once I found out she had an affair, my loyalty went out of the window.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/26 11:59 PM
3

Find a woman that will spit white monster In your mouth. Pleased to meet you, fellow man of culture 😎
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/26 11:55 PM
4

Develop feelings for another woman. The relationship doesn't even have to be healthy, in fact the crazier the new one is the better. You just don't have time and energy to deal with two insane women at the same time, lol. That's what did it for me 😅
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/26 11:54 PM
3

I got divorced last year as she cheated. Should have known something was very wrong as she suddenly started working out for the first time in 18 years, and she wasn't overweight. The insane amount of new lingerie she never wore before woke me up.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/26 11:51 PM
3

Listen to this guy 🎯
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/26 05:27 PM
3

I pay for everything, they offer but I don't like the feeling when a woman pays me anything. She's not my wife, we don't share a life. Gifts and homecooked meals are ok. Food and drinks are cheap here so it doesn't matter anyway. I do low effort dates, and prefer them to come to my place where they are a guest. If she treats you right and you earn more, where's the problem? You always pay in some way.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/26 04:58 PM
5

Call her. I didn't "wait" a day, just wasn't as lucky as you. Had a few hookups a few months later, they pursued me, impolite to decline, right? Didn't call them the next day - no deeper attraction. Then slept with the first girl I actually liked and completely forgot my ex. Down the road, the girl turned out to be very damaged with a lot of issues but she did help me out to move on, more that anything else I did and tried in the months before.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 01:02 PM
7

Maybe even women are sick of getting marriage advice from other women. The nature is healing.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/26 12:23 PM
30

She found someone else and is too big of a coward to admit it. That's the whole story, every single time.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/26 10:51 AM
7

Lesbians have the same problems with women. The only woman that ever understood me and hugged me after my divorce was a lesbian. All straight women fed me the same bullshit - at least the parents are happy (meaning her happiness/selfishness comes first).
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/26 10:49 AM
1

These trips have one purpose only, to cheer each other to cheat then cover for each other. It doesn't matter of they are 18 or 50.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 10:28 PM
1

The always buy the fucking lingeire. They always mysteriously find their libidos for the other guy. They always start working out. And the new guy never has to do any dishes. They're all the same, every single time.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 08:30 PM
2

Also 18 years here. Be prepared that the dating pool is saturated with women with personality disorders, traumas and insane bodycounts. Single ones, especially those "single" for years are in fact never alone and probably single for a good reason. After 18 years of marriage, and dating from 17-26, I'm basically a virgin compared to women 15-20 years younger than me. Fun times.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 07:03 PM
1

This, 🎯. I stayed for 6 mkre years, biggest mistake.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/26 08:36 AM
7

What made me into one is having girl friends. Once you see and hear the shit they do while dating, you can't go back.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/26 09:58 AM
13

Unapologetically chauvinist over here 🙋🏼‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/26 09:56 AM
4

Becauss she got bored of him, there's nothing wrong with him as they have been together for 16 years, I'm pretty sure he knows how to have sex with his wife. And him wanting sex was not borhering her when they met. Women aren't retarded and they very well know men want and need sex. That's why they try to look attractive in the first place. Desire can't be negotiated. Once your wife starts saying - you only think about sex and she puts out 10 times a year, witholds any other type of intimacy - y…
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/26 12:38 AM
1

She lost the desire for you, it's probably biological - I've never heard a married man not live like this after X amount of time/kids. No man ever has turned this around past this point. She is not asexual, trust me. Watch for signs is she gets protective of her phone, starts to work out, changes appearance, goes out "shopping" for hours or out with the girls, business trips, visits family away etc. Usually it's the boss or a coworker.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/26 12:31 AM
0

Yeah, I lived like that for 6 years, heard all the bullshit excuses. Someone else was getting that sex.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/26 12:25 AM
4

My Sean was a husband of her friend. Guy used to come with his wife and kids at our house a lot. Confrontation turned spicy - convicted felon here now 🙋🏼‍♂️ It's useless, there was or will be Sean 2, 3, 17. Move on.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/26 12:22 AM
5

Missing companionship. I like women, I like a different perspective, the zest for life of younger girls, and they are pretty to look at, smell nice. Had a woman hang out and sleep over for a month, it was nice. Very relaxing, my physical aches stopped, I was more energetic, slept better, more optimistic. Sex was very passionate. Not rushing into a serious relationship or cohabitation and never again into marriage. I was very lonely and touch starved for the last 6 years of my marriage, plus I'm …
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/26 11:10 AM
2

If there is no abuse, the answer why is almost always another man. Don't break yourself from trying to fund and understand reasons as chances you'll get a real one from her are nonexistant. Nobody just leaves like that if they are not hiding something. Also, she'll make up a story about you to everyone so she can look like a victim. Mine didn't leave, but she asked for separation when the kid was only 1, and yup, there was another (married) dude, even though she swore on the lives of our childre…
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/26 02:13 PM
6

They always need to get railed on the apps asap. Have a female friend like this who initiated her divorce, broke her man and had to be ran through while her husband was battling depression. Lost all respect about the sex that can't sit at home and read a fucking book or watch tv for a week after the divorce with multiple small children involved. Hello kids, your mom is for the streets.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 11:34 PM
1

Nerves - perfomance anxiety. Remember to eat well, sleep, no drinking (kills sensitivity), and work out.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 02:15 PM
3

And after all that she'll call you selfish.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 01:19 AM
2

Learned that the hard way.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 01:18 AM
4

This is quite normal. It goes away after a while with the same partner. Or becomes worse if they ghost you after, lol.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 09:45 PM
4

18 years here, too. 10 months single. I get more attention than in my 20s, much younger girls so far, few hookups and situationships. They all had some major mental health issues though, even more insane than my ex. I have a certain vibe that acts like a magnet for those types, even before marriage. Gave up on hope something will ever change. What's new? Nothing, work, eat, sleep, repeat. Not lonely, just bored out of my mind by the routine. Maybe I'll larp as an asexual gay so I can get some gu…
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 09:19 AM
10

Mine broke that contract when she caused the dead bedroom then cheated. Women over here in my part of Europe are very attractive, you have your eyes open and biology takes over. Don't get fooled into thinking the next woman is/will be different from the last after the X amount of time together, they're very similar to one another in many ways.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/26 12:29 PM
6

It's not you brother, it's like that for many of us, it's society that allows it that's upside down. The family has been cooked, and we live in the end time collapse now.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/26 12:24 PM
2

Yeah, I get it. After I found out about the affair, and heard the talks of possible others before - she shat on all those memories. I feel like a man without a past, but it stopped bothering me, I feel zero emotions looking at then now. But one day, maybe my kid will be interested in what we did or how we looked like (I took 99% of all pics), and he is only 2yo. By the time he grows up to be interested, most of the memories will fade (and did).
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 07:38 PM
4

I kept all the pics from 18 years, including the last few years of them on my phone. Including the OneDrive and Samsung gallery stories that pop up here and there. I am titanuim, unbreakable, nothing can faze me. Also, keeping it all since she is 100% going to rewrite history to alienate my kids and paint me how I was abusive and she never loved me, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 10:34 AM
2

Hahaha, omg. This made my morning.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 10:30 AM
3

Same dates here. It stops when you have sex with a new woman.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 01:24 PM
2

Same. She hates me seeing her for what she is.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 10:15 PM
3

They will, took me 6+ months to normalise. Gym helps, find a good friend to vent when you need, and you will. Since you have small kids together, like I do, the shit is just starting.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 03:39 PM
5

Yeah, sorry but assume the worst, and move on. Easier said than done, I know.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 03:37 PM
8

You're in shock. The depression and rage come after. Sorry this happened to you, like many of us.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 03:35 PM
3

Once they think they no longer have a reason to be with you anymore, their true feelings about you are revealed. Oh yes. How the mask slips. I was loving and living with Satan himself. It's unreal.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/26 12:22 AM
9

Yeah, mine turned into a hateful, cruel and malicious monster (because I found out she cheated) - every bit of attraction I held for that woman for 24 years has died forever. She's always been beautiful and looks great for 40, but I don't even want to look at her anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/26 12:19 AM
2

Don't be naive. She didn't want you at these events as she had her eyes on that guy for a while and 100℅ something happened way way before she asked for divorce. There is not "your part" in this as this is on her, being calculated in monkeybranching from you. And when Mr. New Possibilty Dave doesn't work out, she just might be back to you with somw bullshit sob story - remember to not ever take her back and that everything she says will be a lie and manipulation.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/26 03:58 PM
12

A woman you'll eventually find. A loyal woman? Well, that's a whole other thing. Tell me when you find one. This shit's been happening since I've been 17 and I really had enough of these backstabbing bitches. It's always cheating or "taking a break" to fuck someone then trying to cry her way back in.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/26 12:36 PM
4

Yes, the same. It was unreal. I'm always so fucking tired from work and problems, and she made me feel energetic like I was 17.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 11:48 PM
6

8 months later I fell for a girl, 14 years younger. She was fantastic in every way, sadly an avoidant, with a lot of traumas. When she left out of the blue, it really shook me up. I experience a great feeling of loss still, beacuse she left with no clarity or closure, but she did heal me in a way as I completely stopped caring about my ex. Showed me I can care about someone again. It was nice having a pretty, very passionate woman fall asleep next to me and wake up in the morning with me for a m…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 11:46 PM
1

Lived it. Seen it everywhere around me.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 08:59 PM
1

I'm avoiding all women over 40 but agree with everything you said.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 08:57 PM
3

They're all retarded like that. Mine also lost the baby weight after pregancy and jumped on a married serial cheater. You can guess, it's all my fault, and her life being harder now is also my fault.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 05:37 PM
8

I've tried every type there is and they're all disloyal, selfish and batshit crazy. Also marriages around me are falling apart left and right, so I guess it's not just me with bad taste.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 05:29 PM
2

It's unreal. Why are they all the same?
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/26 01:37 AM
2

My life down to a t.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/26 01:32 AM
4

Well, my ex was beautiful, so my body standards go a bit lower now. But a beautiful face is still a must.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 01:39 PM
2

Like every ex ever, when she didn't get a better life she imagine, she tried to fall back to the sucker that once loved her. That's not growth, that's a very selfish survival mechanism. Dad was smart to reject her.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 12:59 PM
1

Most affairs happen at work and especially in the medical field that has the highest ratio of infidelity.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 07:56 PM
20

You're being played. Be prepared.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 01:50 AM
1

They always lose desire for you and you only. With the next man or men she'll again be hyper sexual to hook him up then revert to her old habits after a few years if he commits. Mine also did this and it pissed me off how lazy and full of bullshit excuses she was the last 6 years of marriage, but the stressful job, kids, chores, whatever didn't stop her into putting so much fucking effort for the affair guy. Superhuman efforts. And it's very obvious when they change. Never ever fucking listen to…
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 01:36 AM
1

Yes, scientific studies have shown women in general lose desire about 5 years into cohabitation, kids or no kids. Men lose the burning desire slower. Some women will know this is normal and continue having sex (reactive desire), others will think this means she does not love you anymore and that will lead to her feeling trapped and unhappy, withdraw all inrimacy, then cheat. Marriage is a choice, expecting feeling butterflies in your stomach is idiotic.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 01:27 AM
1

Ok, now I read this after my first message. Classic avoidant. No good will ever come out of this. I am separated since last April, divorced late October, not 4 years like him and I don't have these patterns of behavior and can be consistently normal with a new woman, so divorce excuse is just bullshit.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 09:47 PM
1

Well, most men that ask for support in here are victims of their wandering spouses. Not all divorced men are the same and yours might be an avoidant. At least the push pull dynamic indicates it. More details is needed about the situationship to really understand what he is thinking. Situationship instead of relationship in the first place - not looking good for you.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 09:45 PM
3

The best therapy is banging a new woman. The ex you have no kids with will become completely irrelevant. I have 2 with mine and see her 3x a week and barely remember she exists. Last year she told me to hurt me how she barely ever thinks about me (she had an affair that ended our marriage), I now understand how she felt, as I feel the same about her.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 11:25 AM
19

Like I told you on the other sub, she's already gone. She's doing the same thing my ex wife did before I found out about the affair.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/26 05:44 PM
2

Kids are small and they don't talk. Nobody else cares, or people exclude or avoid you, some even make fun of you and gossip if you even try to connect with anyone. And I've tried connecting with everyone. Wifeguys (and most men are) avoid you like a plague, younger people are dumb and immature. A few friends have their own lives and lack time. My job sucks, I'm financially ruined. Dating sucked and made me feel worse. Sex doesn't do it for me, I need a hug. I want to watch a movie with someone, …
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 11:31 AM
2

Not really, there's a lot of divorced men who fit the description, me included. Maybe try some 40+ singles event, or a group hobby with men in it.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 10:49 PM
3

I'm mid 40s and post divorce have only dated women 15-20 years younger than me, who never married and had no kids. Too immature. Would I date a woman in her 40s? Probably, I'd prefer a divorced woman with one longer relationship than a woman with a hundred hookups, but only if her kids were older, and would never marry again. Personality, is she nice, loving, caring? Looks play a part in it, rarely women (and men) look good past 40. My ex and some of her friends look great, but that seems to be …
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 09:12 PM
2

No PIs here, I just had another phone with Google locarion sharing in the car. I just had to know for my sanity's sake. She was trying to make me believe it was all my fault, and that I was abusive when in reality I was a good husband and dad. I figured she had at least an emotional affair (later gaslighted me although she had shown me the texts when I threathened to call his wife, then deleted the chat)., but once I knew it was physical I gave up on trying to reason with her, told his wife and …
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 04:45 PM
1

Women (especially with kids) never leave to be alone. Voice recorder did nothing for me, but GPS busted her. They never talked on the phone, they always texted.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 04:28 PM
3

I have tried to get her to see my point of view which is all factual between her and I Tried to reason with her calmly for 4 months, never pleaded or begged, it's a dead end. Emotions beat logic every time.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 03:37 PM
3

Oh, and forgot - their husband and their baby being killed in a car accident, and them partying a month after in the club and posting thirst trap travel pics on their social media.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 11:48 PM
4

Hoeing around, huge roster of men in DMs, literally another guy mentioned daily but looking for a husband to settle down and have kids with, unprotected sex with everyone, STDs, cheating on their unsuspected long term boyfriends then getting engaged a few days later to them. Every single ex boyfried of theirs I've met has had "obvious asshole" written on their forhead. No accountability, things just "happen" to them, nobody ever "treated them right", every ex was " abusive" even though they stuc…
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 11:43 PM
5

Sometimes just a dick. But good luck finding love buddy, I'm 45 and can't say a woman ever loved me for who I am, not sure about my mother either. I could be a fuckboy if I wanted but I'm not that type of man and I refuse to be. I can't even talk to let alone invest energy into someone I don't respect and dating post divorce plus having female friends and listening to them talk openly, I'm just done.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 11:16 PM
4

36, no kids, a house and a good job. Stigma? Wait till you see the shitshow that is the dating pool.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 07:13 PM
3

If you want to get left on seen or get a thumbs up, go for it. Always a bad idea, they don't care.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/26 07:42 PM
10

There's no karma or if anyone higher up is watching, he's not acting. Those people will continue to ruin marriages and enjoy the safty and comfort of their own relationship. I blew his marriage as he blew mine. Old Testament eye for an eye. So far, 6 months later I still have no regrets, and her bullshit narrative she fed to everyone was shattered. Very healing.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 09:07 AM
2

I also heard this bullhsit. Yeah, it didn't work out for me either.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 10:52 AM
7

Past a certain age the avoidants (childhood and ex trauma, BPD women) make a considerable part of the dating pool. They get overwhelmed with anything a normal person would crave, and they run as they avoid conflict. I look and attract younger women, and even at that age they are already broken. It's sad. Made a mistake and tried to fix this one girl that was very intelligent and somewhat self aware, but you can't help other people make a change if they don't want to/are scared. Not all are avoid…
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 10:49 AM
8

I had a month and a half long situationship that made me completely forget my wife of 18 years. She was great, never had a connection like this in my life, I was at peace and relaxed. I was also ghosted and this fucked me up, showing me I am far from healed - I still shelter the romantic delusions in my head and the little boy in me just wants to be loved. Though I am grateful for feelings I experienced again after decades, I now feel unwanted and abandoned again and will probably need therapy a…
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 10:36 AM
6

That's modern women for you. Going back 100 years in the past fixes this problem. Plus the birthrates would skyrocket.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 06:51 PM
1

Prisoner's dilemma. You have to go selfish, too.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 03:03 PM
3

If you do the "right" thing you'll end up like me, financially ruined for life.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 03:01 PM
8

Tell me when you crack the code. It's brutal out there.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 10:34 AM
3

How old were you? At 45 I think I don't have the luxury of waiting 10 more years.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/26 12:28 PM
6

It will happen, you now yearn for this, but when you do you'll probably get hurt again. It's a bittersweet feeling. I'm 45 and found out I can fall in love again, which was a big surprise I'm not yet dead inside.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 01:10 PM
9

Getting over my last situationship with an avoidant. Stay away from women, guys.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 11:12 AM
2

You have just described my life post divorce. Hang in there.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 03:44 PM
4

Women with small kids very rarely leave non abusive relationships if there is no one else. At this point they need safety and security and they usually have someone in mind to provide that better than you (at least that's what they think will happen).
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 03:42 PM
2

No therapy over here, not in US. It's just suck it up and keep grinding, Soviet style. I takes time to move on, about 6 months for me to shift my focus from emotional pain to economic struggles. Working out helped a lot, a best buddy with a big ear and hard facts - no bullshit attitude, and very very loud heavy metal/rock music (self ironic Divorced dad playlist on Spotify).
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 03:37 PM
5

0/3 so far, after a year. Go go 2026. Can't be worse than the last.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 03:31 PM
1

It's a stupid internal joke for me. She wanted to monkeybranch to our married family friend. It backfired when I told his wife, and they are "saving the marriage". Good luck with that. At this point I'm glad she is no longer in my life (except as a parallel parent), I just feel bad for my kids, they're so young. Other women are giving me a headache now, which probably shows I am not ready to date, or the world is not ready for me - a hopeless romantic.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 03:26 PM
1

Sadly, yes. That phase doesn't last long. It was magical, I would have given anything for her to stay that way. And after that point, when she reverted to her old ways I started to lose respect for women, when I loved her with all my heart, she was being a major unreasonable illogical bitch. When she felt fear because I stood behind my boundaries, she was the sweetest most loving wife ever. Their behavior animalistic, primal. You stop looking at them as people, more like walking suits of hormone…
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/26 10:21 AM
2

Sadly, it's primal, hysterical bonding. She will resent him later for putting her through that fear and become even worse. That phase lasted a month and a half in my marriage. She paid me back with interest. And she was the one that wanted a divorce, I just called her bluff and said - OK, then she freaked out and became like his wife is now. I was suspicious about it, turned out I was right.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/26 10:14 AM
2

Google hysterical bonding. It does not last.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/26 10:10 AM
2

Can't help you much, I am the same, but 45. Not into hookups, dating is awful. Very hard to find someone you like, and even harder if not impossible for someone to like you back. 20 years ago it was very easy to get a relationship, now it's one situationship after another. All drama and mental problems. Nobody is single, and the ones that are are single for a good reason. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/26 10:08 AM
1

My kid's therapist told us 80℅ of marriages with kids with disabilites end up in divorce (she was divorced and had a kid with autism, too). At the time I thought oir problems made us closer, they didn't. I hang out mostly with people with kids on the autism spectrum and most of them are divorced, before kids hit 7 yo. Personally, I didn't feel that effect on myself, I could have been a great husband, but my wife on the other hand cheated and now is the primary parent of 2, and she's having a rou…
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/26 06:26 PM
7

Malicious narcissism. Nothing more.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/26 10:50 AM
4

Been there, got the T-shirt. Being alone is easier, no expectations from anyone. Alone while in a marriage is soul crushing.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/26 10:45 AM
1

I have two kids, one with autism so I get how hard it is with just one child with develepmental issues. My ex divorced me because her friend who has a similar situation gave primary custody to her husband so she can party and she thought she will do the same. Buy due to my self employes job and not having my own place, I coulsn't do 50/50 so I have 3 afternoons per week, no overnights. Over here, kids split comes before asses split that can take years so I couldn't commit to something that would…
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/26 09:37 AM
4

There were months of tearless sadness where I wanted to cry but couldn't. Then my kid had a Christmas recital and ex was with her mother and our younger in the crowd with me staying apart. I just couldn't watch my kid up there with his parents being strangers, when not so long ago we were a family, doing everything together. Broke down like a child on a park bench. Pics of my younger one on his first day in the daycare, alone in the pic, in his little formal suit, looking like my ex father in la…
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 03:05 PM
3

Mine is doing the minimum contact and excluding me from everything and even when I try to be there more for the kids, she tries to sabotage it. Very critical and dismissive, won't even say goodbye. All this because she can't face herself and breaking up the family, cheating and lying. I've suggested she should go to therapy and open up to someone as this is harmful to her and the kids, but this will never happen. It's quite sad how people will paint you as a csrtoon villan just so they don't hav…
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 12:33 PM
1

Probably, and mine too. That's something better to not think about and move on, like they did.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 04:02 PM
1

We were together for 18 years, after 7 the kissing and making out stopped. Sex died (apart from a few times a year) as soon as she gave birth to our first, 6 years ago. She would ingnore me for months, show no affection then expect for me to be super turned on and perform the second she showed up. C'mon, I'm 45, everything works still but you gotta give me some affection or touch me, seduce me a bit. I started losing erections during penetration as it started to feel like a job with a person who…
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 03:44 PM
2

I know the feeling of feeling like being the least wanted man on the planet. The next few women will give you the masculine confidence we all crave, and heal your insecurities your wife inflicted upon you.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 03:12 PM
2

It's fantastic. 10 months post separation/divorce I found a girl that can't get enough of me. So much passion that I don't think I ever experienced this in my life. Had a few hookups/flings before her and it was the same, puppy eyes and very passinate with a lot of compliments given. My ex, even though we had 7 years of hot n heavy browbeat me into borderline ED, just because she couldn't be honest about losing attraction (I looked and contlinue to look better than we started dating, in fact, be…
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 03:10 PM
1

Gentlemen, we meet again! 👑
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 11:13 AM
1

My hairdresser is gay but my female dentist provided the intimacy I craved in my marriage, lol. You could try perving (or spicing) it up with some added pain.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 11:12 AM
6

One thing I learned from my divorce is to walk away when she makes your life harder, not easier. Stayed for the kids, like an idiot. Took all the mental damage being miserable for years and overthinking while she denied intimacy and companionship because she screwed around, which I found out later. Don't get married again, protect your assets in your next relationship. Focus on your kid.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 11:06 AM
3

Yeah, don't get married. It's not the weed or the booze, it's you. You are the symbol of all her unhappiness and life's disappointments. Attraction fades, resentment and contempt start to build up. It ends like having a roomate that hates you. About the vaccines - my older siblibg is not vaccinated due to being alergic, 0 shots. Went to daycare and wasn't homeschooled. Nothing happens, you can relax about that a bit if you live in a 1st world country where herd immunity protects you.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 10:56 AM
6

Sex, you'll find that easily. Love? Now, why would you want to get hurt again?
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 10:04 AM
-1

Sorry, that's complete bullshit. I know a ton of older women that look and act feminine. Funny how they are almost all divorced. A lot of them just resent their husbands are lazy and don't care but they will for the new man.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 07:56 PM
17

She's not your friend, she just likes you calm and docile during her transitional period to another man.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 12:25 PM
5

Working out and having sex with a new woman do wonders.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 09:51 PM
6

Codependancy, scarcity mindset and anxiety about uncertain future. 18 years together, 2 kids, as soon as I slept with another woman I liked I saw my ex for who she is - just a woman, one of many. Woman who I am seeing now is also just a woman, it's quite sad to lose the "soulmate" outlook of the relationship aspect of life but it is what it is. Always use logic and reason over feelings. Feelings change.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 01:31 PM
3

You know. The gut feeling is telling you the truth. Bro, you are in separation. They lie to your face as easy as they breathe.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 10:51 AM
2

The marriage of my grandparents pushed my own expectations into unrealistic. They really were happy 62 years together.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 01:14 PM
1

In cohabitation you'll never sleep well, and it's still VERY early for you. After moving out but coming home every day to take care of the kids in our house, I still slept like shit (woke up in panic after and hour or two). There was a lot of cheating trauma, though. What helped: working out at home till exhaustion every day before sleep. After some time I was able to sleep through the night and waking up mid sleep or unpleasant dreams never returned. What helped the most: sleeping next to a you…
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 11:23 AM
2

Yes, you'll feel like shit on your own for a while, but if you have money, you'll be in the husband zone, and even if you don't but are attractive you'll be in the fun zone for a lot of women. No woman will take care of you if you get old or sick, that's a fantasy. You go find 10 years younger woman than your wife, never marry again and hope you die way before her, with a better than previous sex life. Be there for your kids, and that's it. Be a man mafia. Source: I have no money, and I'm way ha…
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 11:05 AM
11

3.5 months is still too early to feel normal. Give it time, I started feeling better past 6 months. 10 months later, I have a younger girlfriend and things are still tough financially and depression sometimes hits me after being with my kids, but it's way better than it was. Intimacy helped out a lot in feeling like a wanted man again, gives confidence and more will to live when feeling comoletely alone and discarded. Remember, it's fine to be a little bit selfish and enjoy your new freedom and …
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 12:04 PM
7

Wtf is with women ending the marriage with such small children, mine also bailed when ours was barely a year old. Insanity.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 11:34 AM
15

She completely lost the respect for you and sadly, this can't ever be fixed. It's not a you problem, whatever you do it will never be enough past this point. I puy all of my inheritance money into our house, worked 12-14 hours a day, 7 days a week to provide as much as I could. I was "never at home" or "didn't help her enough", so I was home more and took care of the kids and more chores, then I was " lazy". Little did I know the other guy provided the dick. Sorry this is happening, man. Read up…
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 11:15 AM
2

You have to accept at least a bit of the ideology (the general female psychology part) just so you don't make the same mistakes over and over again. Also I think you can't become an "alpha" late in life, but you can be a non pushover romantic with firm boundaries. I'm not an alpha, though I wasn't a beta either. I was just naive about women and how they percieve us, our dedication, loyalty and love. Call me relationship realist now.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/26 04:56 PM
5

It's been over for 5 years, sorry. Been in the same spot. If it means anything, 9 months post separation I am with a woman 10 years younger than my cheating ex wife and she is the opposite of what my wife had ever been even at her best. The passion and true desire are something out of this world. I was a fool for staying 5 years in a almost dead bedrrom marriage, last 3 of those severely impacting my mental health
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/26 04:42 PM
1

Only if they fear losing you, yes very much. It's called hysterical bonding. But it doesn't last long. It's just postponing the end.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/26 04:35 PM
2

Also mothers. "Don't involve me, fix yourself on your own and don't be a burden".
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/26 03:59 PM
1

Nice in theory but if it happens and if or when you find out then the rewriting of history, claims of abuse come as they need to preserve the saintly image to the public - you and you only must always be the reason for the marriage failing. In her mind, now you have some knowledge that can ruin her false story she'll feed to everyone you know and her reputation so she will absolutely loathe you for it. If you find out it's best to just divorce and don't tell her you know, once they know you know…
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 04:46 PM
6

And god forbid she sees you relaxing, as there's always something to be done.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 04:32 PM
7

I saved for a new house just from buying less toilet paper.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 04:30 PM
3

Haha, this is gold!
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 04:26 PM
2

Kids will grow and pick up on things and it will fuck them up for life, just like my parent's issues overshadowed my best years, made me depressed, suffer academically and in future relationships by choosing toxic partners. Married: both you and the ex will end up damaged people Divorced: at least there is a chance your life will be better, and as a happier man, you'll be a better, non jaded or bitter dad
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 04:20 PM
1

As someone that was where you are at, also for 5 years - is she secretive with her phone? That's the most important question of all dead bedrooms.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 04:10 PM
2

Spicy. I stopped watching a few months ago when I needed a pause from the daily divorce content but looks like I have some catching up to do.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 03:56 PM
7

Trust me, they know. The know very very well.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 03:45 PM
9

What's funny is how I have divorced female friends who all tell me they were not attracted to their husbands, held resentment, witheld sex then after the divorce jumped straight to the apps and after the carousel found some guy that they now have sex with 6x a day. Yeah, she's not either stressed out or tired, just a leech. I also have been sold that bullshit excuse then saw how much energy she put into her affair. Just 1℅ of that effort would have saved our 18 years of marriage with 2 little ki…
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 03:44 PM
1

The day after she came home from the hospital with the kid she was changed. Just 5 days before, she was a different woman I would have died for with no thinking. 6 years later, she became a heartless monster. Something only I have seen, it's my own private monster, everyone else in the world gets the perfect her. Sad.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 03:27 PM
3

Trust me, man. She is not bored with all men. Just you. I know it's hard to hear but once sex is gone, the attraction and love are gone. She's on her couch when you come home, annoyed with you, not greeting you at the door with embrace and kisses. It never ever gets better after this point you are at. Never. And it can't be talked into them, with logic, reason, appeal to emotion, therapy, once the switch is off it never goes on again even if you won the lottery and gave her the world. I'm sorry.…
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 03:14 PM
2

Mine are 6 and 1, one is autistic, I stuck around for my kids. There will come a point where nobody will care why you stay, your usefulness will expire, and you'll find yourself discarded and replaced anyway, continuing to be nothing more than a financial slave for many more years. There comes a point when you have to, possibly first time in your life start thinking about YOU. What is best for me. Do I want to have some sort of normal life or risk staying no matter what then trying like hell not…
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/26 05:26 PM
3

Let me tell you how this ends. She ruins your life completely. I was married to that same exact woman. I did not plan for the divorce, I was in hopium mode, this will get better when X happens or passes, then blindsided by the sudden discard. I have now lost everything and am trying to rebuild from nothing, but it's hard to find the motivation. Don't be me.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/26 05:17 PM
3

Maybe I live in a different culture, but all relationships are presumed to be exlusive from the get go. This is not even discussed at any point. I'm talkiny about women in the wild here, not app dating. One of the reasons I don't use apps and don't date women who have a roster, you are either into me from day one or not, I'm not here to compete and outdo the world.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 12:30 PM
6

Major signs: She makes mountains out of molehills, everything is a huge problem and there is a feeling of her making up fights. She doesn't share her day with you, or asks anything about yours. Seeks constant outside validation, frequent girl's nights out, all others have priority over you. No enthusiasm whatsoever, no intimacy. Very protective and secretive with her phone. In the honeymoon phase, you usually don't have to worry at all, if your gut is not telling you somenting. Always trust your…
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 12:27 PM
1

I always wondered why my ex-wife never took pictures of me with the kids. She must’ve only taken 7 pictures of me total in some fashion. She also never said please, thank you, or I’m sorry. Who are you and why did you have the exact same marriage experience as me, lol?
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 12:19 PM
1

I had a recent experience with a gf where she wanted to spend time with me while I had the flu, make out while I was having a mild fever, severe caugh and a painful sore throat. I had to chase her away after a few hours as she is working crazy shifts on her feet all day. Like, are you crazy? Why would you want this? Wanna feel like shit for 5 days? Was a complete shock for me, having someone act like this, after being treated like I have a plague for minor sniffles, being married for 18 years.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 12:15 PM
5

Relatable. Made 2x more than she claimed, for years. Unfortunately, she spent it all on herself.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 12:10 PM
1

I had the same feeling about deleting myself, and the same reasoning why not to + kids that are very young and I want them to know and remember me. I had a chaotic childhood followed by a string of chaotic relationships. Same. Have you thought about how your childhood impacted your choice of partners or even women who are narurally drawn to you?
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 07:56 PM
2

It is a true that revenge only brings more negative impacts to your life Not to me, ruining his marriage and getting him kicked out of his house then beg and plead to be taken back to "save the marriage" was my turning point in a healing journey.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 05:20 PM
8

Nuke it, maximum damage. The guy is smug and relaxed and deserves some heat.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 05:18 PM
1

Europe here, from the day she filed and we signed, it took a month and a half, with 2 underaged kids. Assets is a separate process.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 05:13 PM
3

sit here every night broken hearted and she just mocks me This brings back memories, you sit on the bathroom floor shattered, unable to get up from the shock and she is just annoyed with you having a "problem" with finding about her months old secret affair with a guy that was in your social circle. Also, she needs the bathtoom to get ready for their hookup so she is stepping over you like a turd on a sidewalk. Really man, sometimes I wonder how little violence there is. We really can take a lot…
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 05:01 PM
2

I don't want to bum you out but narcissists cheat a lot. Nothing you ever saw in her was the real her, and you were long in a devaluation and are now in the final discard phase. You have zero value in her eyes, and she does not love you. Was married to one for 18 years. There is no wife you know of, it was a mask. All fake.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 02:15 AM
3

Men want to feel wanted, loved, respected and valued. And they want peace and routine. Not every man is the same, but I'd say every man wants to be loved for who he is, and not for what he provides or just how he makes you feel. Nice that you are trying and want to work it out. How do I find a woman like this? I was 18 years with my ex wife. A lot of shit that happened over the years, everything could have been fixed with some simple, spontaneous affection from my ex. A woman's touch is very hea…
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 05:11 PM
12

Similar, my marriage blew up in April. Come December I am waiting for my thick goth girlfiend to finish her shift and come celebrate the New Year with me. It does get better and we deserved it. Happy New Year, you magnificent bastards and thank you for saving my life with all your stories and support.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 10:22 PM
4

The bitch will not win. And I don't know you and I love you. Now make this new year the YOU year.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 10:18 PM
8

No, bro. What you will do is give it 3 more months for the emotions to calm down, hit the gym and then find another woman, 10 years younger and more attractive than your ex. Then you will come here with an update so we can cheer you on. Was where you are at. Was considering it. You are strong, you existed before your ex and will continue to exist after her. And you will be happy again.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 10:14 PM
6

My father, who was 63 when he died, unfit, balding and diabetic had an 15 or more years younger woman on the side. I met her at his funeral. A complete opposite of my choleric mom, a very pleasant and kind woman. At 56, only 11 years older than me, you could still be happy. I'm 45 and dating a 31yo woman, and I wish I met her earlier, as she is nothing like my ex, nothing like my ex ever was. I spent my youth with my ex wife and never even knew women can be like this, actually normal and kind an…
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 12:02 AM
1

No kids, no problems. I have 2, very little boys. But I was reading this sub for a year before I found about her affair and from the experiences fo other men I've read here decided to end the relationship immediately. Smartest move I've ever done in my life. I did try to talk some reason into her for a few months to get some closure from her, and tried to be friendly for the sake of the kids and it was a huge mistake. Everything that came out of her mouth or everything she did made me respect he…
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 11:54 PM
1

Low self respect, gaslighting you into insecuritues of not being good enough or fear of dying alone. This affair is the fuel for your turning point into a new you else it will continue to happen with her or any other woman.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 11:42 PM
7

I am 9 months separated (now divorced) from my ex of 18 years. Please, do find another woman you care about, don't have to marry ever again. The moment I found that person, the one I am seeing now, I finally understood how my wife saw me for months while she was with her AP. It was not evil, just complete indifference, an afterthought, because I also see her now like that. She was special, unique, mine, only in my mind, it was not real, any of it, it was what I wanted her to be, not who she was,…
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 11:36 PM
5

They do far worse things, like if it doesn't work out for her, expect her to be back with "you are the love of my life" story. Please don't fall for that bs if it happens. They really are built different, always loyal to their feelings. The man is just a replaceable tool to acheieve their own selfish goals, sucks hard after 35 years.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 11:27 PM
6

Yeah, it's normal. I'm alone, down with the flu in my shitty little room. Watching Netflix and smoking in peace. This is my first Christmas alone, and I don't feel bad. Last few I always had this feeling she was fake and forced for the holidays, while being emotionally unavailable rest of the time and I was feeling under pressure I HAVE to be happy while feeling alone and miserable in the marriage for years. Now my mood isn't tied to her anymore, so it's good. Missing my kids, but they are littl…
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 08:22 PM
6

Saw your other posts. I didn't listen to be alone and heal advice. I healed and did a lot of stuff to get better, but not pushing women away. My wife moved on before she told me (or better said I caught her), so I moved on too. Met this girl the same week my marriage imploded, I just talked for months, old fashioned very slow courting, and recently we hit it off. She's 14 years younger, polar opposite from my ex and helped me a lot to see myself normal and desireable. I'd dare to say I am happy.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 06:49 PM
9

Yes, sadly you cannot count on anyone for support or understanding and usually have to ride this through alone. I believe we all went through this same thoughts at some point. I think this is the lowest point, the feeling of isolation. I was cheated on and discarded after 18 years and 2 kids, one still a baby and completely alone for 6 months. When I tried to talk to my mom on the phone, she spun it around how this affects her and told me to stop upsetting her and to man up in our 2nd conversati…
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 06:35 PM
7

I hated that shit, mine would turn on the light and shake my foot. Never respected the peace and quiet when I was sleeping. Really bothered me since when she slept, I tiptoed so she can get some rest and always woke her up gently or with a kiss. This was the biggest inricator she stopped loving me.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 02:07 AM
5

I’m a good-looking, fit guy, A lot of men like this here. But we are known territory and no longer exciting enough. A new woman will take notice of this, old one won't.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 01:26 PM
9

There is someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 01:22 PM
5

Don't tell the kids details at this point in their lives. They have their own lives and problems and don't need the detailed drama of their parents. Source: I was a kid and my parents used to draw me in in their shit constantly and it probably fucked me up for life. They never divorced in the end but I wish they did. I am 45 now and only now do I understand their marriage better, once I had my own similar problems, I was not ready for this shit as a teen.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 12:26 PM
11

You can't force someone to be attracted to you, love you or want to be in a relarionship with you. You can only control yourself. Fixing or maintaining the relationship requires both people. You should absolutely quit trying to fix unfixable and try to get your wife back else you will just keep on hurting yourself. Ok, you tried for a bit, like every man here. After some point, the sane thing is to give up. And yes, there is probably another woman for you oit there, and you had a life before you…
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 11:55 AM
6

It's not even important why, relationships are temporary. There are plenty of other women out there. Once you start dating again your perspective that certan women are special and unique, my person, whatever will change. Women don't see us this way, so we also should not have the scarcity mindset. Find another woman. Honeymoon phase ended? Not happy? Leave. Tired of women? Be alone for a while.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 11:48 AM
19

File harassment charges. Some people only learn the hard way.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 11:42 AM
2

Had the same life, but wife worked and there was no physical violence, but everything else down to the sleep deprivation. I moved out and that fixed my mental health, but now other problems have arisen, financial constraints due to 2nd household and not much time to see my kids as I would want to. I'm missing out a lot. I am self employed and living paycheck to paycheck with no end in sight. Compared to the US standards, I live in poverty. It's very draining to live like this, but at least I hav…
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 10:58 AM
2

No, I'm a giver, not a taker.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 06:35 PM
1

What do you mean if you were a worm? I thought you were a worm this whole time.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 06:34 PM
5

Yup, been there. With the same thoughts. Was a tough period for a while. Dating fixed my perspective. Now another girl is affecting my mood and bringing chaos and drama in my life, so I don't have time to think about my ex. 😀
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 06:17 PM
23

The man machine has malfunctioned, time for a new machine. Many such cases. The empathetic gender, our best friends and the love of our lives, supposedly. It's all a big sham.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 08:55 PM
2

Never play Captain Save a Hoe unless you want your sanity and life destroyed. Some people can't or don't want to be fixed and only bring chaos and destruction in your life.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 01:49 PM
2

Awesome 6 hours for a first date, but she's probably already broken by someone who got to her before me years ago. I feel sad for her as she is really beautiful and smart. But I'm looking to see her again as looks like I'm also broken. Or everyone is maybe broken in today's world. I can fix her (no, I can't), and this will probably be a good post divorce learning experience. First time I feel like I am not dead inside. Double the trauma, double the red flags, I'm ready, lol.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 11:29 AM
1

My appetites have changed. I am less interested in commitment. Less interested in sex. Just as ready to forgive, but far more ready to express annoyance. hilariously post-divorce and plus a few years I found myself far more attractive to far more women than prior, some more than a decade younger than I. I would like a LTR but as you said, less interested in sex looking for a deeper connection, but I now have way more success with women 15-20 years younger that want to bang me on the first date a…
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 11:17 AM
4

2nd date with the girl I had an awesome night this weekend. She's probably crazy but very fun and a total smokeshow.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 01:36 AM
4

Same story, 18 years, 2 kids. This is depressing.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 11:45 PM
4

Sold it for rent after 8 months into a separation.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 10:12 PM
4

I had my kids at 39 and 43, but we were together for a long time before that. Once divorced I recovered emotionally pretty fast, but I can't unlearn what I did ever. This sub also opened my eyes I was not the exception or just unlucky. I'm never getting married again.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 10:09 PM
2

6 months.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 02:32 PM
1

Trust me, you're gonna be fine. I was a wreck, thought I would die ftom stress, but your brain rewires. Just give it time.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 01:35 PM
2

Last Christmas was my last, and last pictures I have of us as a family. This year I'll probably be alone, probably out at a bar Chrostmas party. Take the kids next day to my mom's for a lunch. I'm 45, rented a room with a bathtoom in a house. She and the kids kept the huge new house, exact same situation as yours. The rest of the people there are students, mostly female, or waitresses as young as 18. Nobody cares I'm a 45yo man, we get along fine and talk here and there while smoking outside. I …
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 12:54 PM
3

We have small kids, I deleted nothing, everything but the last 3 years is on the hard drive, with backups. Kids might want to see us young one day. I'll have to go through them one day to delete anything innapropriate. The pics on the phone don't trigger me. And I have to see my ex 3-4 days a week anyway. I threw out a bunch of boxes with various mementos I kept over the 20 years though.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 12:46 PM
1

It's like that by default in my country.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 12:06 PM
2

I also would like to know the answer to this question. 18 years married, brutal divorce and not a year later I have fallen for a girl. I know the risks but can't help myself.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 12:03 PM
1

With 10-15 year younger girls 💪 No ex wives will be missed.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/25 09:13 AM
2

That I should blast Whitesnake's Wine, Women an' Song in my car while driving to a bar on a weekend night. Women become mothers, divorce then regress into teens, and start coming home at 4am. You know how they write those stupid dating app descriptions like "mom by day, find who I am at night". It's ok to be a little immature, a little dumb and just have fun.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/25 09:10 AM
6

I studied the enemy. I read a lot of stories on their subs. I watched their Instagram reels. Analysed their TikToks. Learned about their "healing journey" and "finding themselves". I went - wait a minute, these broads are onto something... So I followed the advice. No regrets.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/25 12:33 AM
2

mocked my trauma and tried to compare it to the depression she has because of her choices The playbook. Why are they all the same!
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 03:56 PM
6

Like I wrote this describing two last months of my marriage. She had anotger guy. They tend to become obnoxious so you leave or react in some way she will use agains you as a reason. They can never be honest or a villian in their own story. I lost all respect for women after this happned to me, and I read every day the same story. Ffs, her reputation was far more important to her than me, the father of her kids who spent 20 years with her. She was ready to destroy my mental health completely and…
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 02:29 PM
15

Chad is smashing, and you are the gay friend she goes shopping with. Cut that crap at the root.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 09:13 AM
6

As someone who was cheated on, you will probably forgive (stop caring) eventually, but NEVER forget. You cannot do this while still married though, or living together. Mine also gave me PTSD (undiagnosed, since I didn't want it in my file due to the nature of my work), but it went away once I decoupled. Damn, I was a wreck, but after 7 months of living alone, I sleep like a baby.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 07:49 AM
3

In my country you are not allowed as a man to file for divorce before the baby is 1yo, and just by being married every child born in marriage or 300 days after divorce is assumed to be yours (you don't have to sign anything). You can dispute the fatherhood only before the child is 7 years old. Another example how women are "opressed".
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 07:31 AM
1

Don't confront the dude. I'm now a convited felon over a false report.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 02:11 PM
3

Went through the same shit for 5 months, but she clamed nothing was or is going on (it was) and asked to not ruin her "life", nuked her reputation and his marriage. Very satisfying and a great leap for my mental health and healing. This was my turning point from a depressed and moping victim into a completely new man.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 02:07 PM
1

Marriage has been in her hear at least 2 years dead then.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 02:04 PM
2

The only reason she's not divorcing you is because the other guy(s) is not yet ready to commit. Once one is, nobody will wait on any decision from you. Your marriage is done, she has already decided she does not want you. Divorce is now just a matter of time and technicality.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 12:22 PM
7

Yup, nudes are always send after the fact.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 11:55 AM
1

Are joint accounts in the US a legal thing? Can't you just split accounts, get money into your own and just take out your cash next payday? Develop a "gambling problem". Kids? If none, you should have stopped doing anything around the house that's not kid or yourself related.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 10:09 AM
2

Haha, Anti Nowhere League, this brings memories form my youth. Saw them live in 1997.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 08:26 AM
1

Remember, you are improving yourself for you, not for any woman, that's just a bonus. You're 30 years young and have a project - be the best version of yourself you can be. I've seen people lose weight and look fantastic, it's a life changer. One guy that works with me was where you are at, and he hit the gym and now looks like a beast, smokeshow of a girlfriend, and all. Dude almost broke my hand wirh a handshake and I'm not that weak. I'm waiting for that glowup pics of you in a few years.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/25 10:09 PM
2

You need to get out more and communicate. It's been 3 years and I'm sure there are plenty of women you find attractive. Now go talk to them. If you're not extremely ugly odds of staying alone forever at this age are next to none. Odds with moping around and still loving your ex that has moved on way before she told you so - significant. edit: You broke up with your ex at 27, I just started dsting mine at 26 and we were 18 years together. You are just starting, bro.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/25 09:27 PM
4

Yes, we all have. It's a classic. Ignore her, accept you will lose friends, many will never contact you to hear your side of the story. You don't need to defend yourself to anyone or buy into her rewriting of history. You move on and focus on the important, kids if any and rebuilding your life. After a while nobody will give a shit about your divorce, now it's free entertainment to people who know you.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/25 05:09 PM
7

My what ifs are what if I never gave her a chance 18 years ago. I would not have kids now, and I love my kids. Even if I would have had kids with some other woman, these wouldn't be the same kids, so no point in too much thinking. During marriage I did nothing wrong that would warrant a divorce. Just a guy, with marriage issues that could have been fixed with one conversation or if she ever cared to give something back, and not just take.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 10:18 AM
6

Mine just needed some friendly support. It was all friendly. She needed to vent, I was horribly abusive. He was there for her. God bless than caring man. A saint. He took the time away from his own family to selflessly listen to her marital problems.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 10:07 AM
13

Son got redpilled early. That little bro will make less mistakes than I did, for sure.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 10:00 AM
36

By now you should have been crawling, crying and begging for her back, a homeless drunk or hanging in the garage, something ain't right?!? Delulu shattered and she is melting. I love to read a happy end story like this.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 04:21 PM
13

I'm pretty sure I saw this exact post a few times before, always from a young account. I believe it's and ad for that DoTheySwipe service.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 10:22 AM
12

This gets reposted over and over again, it's an ad preying on divorced/separated men.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 09:57 AM
2

I'm just joking. No worries.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 11:21 PM
5

As someone who is forklift certified I am now fearing wrath of my future girlfriend's exes.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 11:12 PM
11

This hits hard. Being broken from lack of affection for years then seeing her bending over backwards for a total loser.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 02:24 PM
40

Hardest? Learning she's a completely different person than I thought, a monster. Never could I do things like she did to me to my worst enemy, let alone to the mother of my children. That led to throwing all my memories into the mental trash, completely fake and worthless. I am now a man that woke after a 20 years long coma and with no past.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 09:54 AM
2

Choose yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 09:42 AM
10

Yeah, no way. She just leaves you with the kids. When I moved, 5 weeks later, yes. While in cohabitation, no time for women with work and kids. Plus she is 10 steps ahead of you with a guy ready. A guy that was there for months before you even knew. Now, the situation is reversed and she's fuming.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 09:38 AM
7

This was hard. Like, can't you at least wait until I am out of the house? No wonder men have 6 times higher chances of deleting themselves in the first 30 days of separation.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 09:34 AM
6

Nerves of steel, man. Now, I'll never understand why anyone would leave a good man like that. Far better than I am, for sure. I lasted 5 weeks like that.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 09:23 AM
9

Even Muslims are cooked, another blackpill for today.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 02:48 PM
2

Sounds exactly like the last months of my marriage, a year ago.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 01:27 PM
3

Being a romantic is only good for getting kicked around emotionally and writing banger love poetry. I hate myself for being a stupid romantic that won't die already. How many times do I have to get hurt to learn, like seriously. At this point I am convinced I am either stupid or masochistic and have to work acrively to rewire my brain.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 01:23 PM
6

Listen to this guy, OP. It really is like that. That "I love you" or even "You're a great X, Y or Z" is never ever coming.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 01:14 PM
2

I made it a priority to engage in small talk with cashiers, waiters etc to get those social muscles back into shape. YES! That's the way, chat up everyone. I talk to every single person I have opportunity to. Young, old, male, female. Met some really cool people this way.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 01:02 AM
1

I have 2 and they are a chick magnet. I show pics of them as a joke to deter women and they want to jump me that same night. It's crazy. This hasn't been tested yet on single moms, just childless women in their 20s. No apps though, 100℅ women in the wild.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 12:57 AM
3

I'm an introvert with good social skills but I recharge and prefer to be alone. I'm doing bettter than ever interracting with women. Sometimes if feels surreal. It's 100 times better than in my 20s. I guess surviving divorce and moving out gave me confidence women notice.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 12:53 AM
4

I believe we all went through it. Crying alone, or just sitting numb unable to get up from the bathroom floor. I really thought I will die, or perhaps go crazy. I had zero support, was completely alone for 6 months, couldn't sleep and if I did it was for an hour or two and I woke up with heart racing. Cheating was involved and she was heartless and cruel. But good thing is your brain adapts to anything and one day, for me it was about 6 months it completely stopped and it's been 3 months since I…
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 12:40 AM
14

Because she's a garbage person, as is he. Nothing deeper than that. We judge others by how we are and think if we're good people, everyone else must be. Well, they're not. Stop ruminating, if you're fat - go get jacked. Small penis? A lot of us aren't porn material either. Go find a petitw woman with small hands. Good luck buddy.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 10:45 PM
4

I'm gonna be that asshole that ruins the big day by refusing to shake hands with guys that fucked my ex behind my back.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 12:28 PM
6

I don't shake hands or talk with cheaters/guys who fucked my ex behind my back. I've got nothing against the next guy/victim.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 12:23 PM
3

Apart from the location even the microphone and the camera can be accessed with certain kid monitoring software, that's a spying device in your home.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 12:07 PM
6

Cheating, probably already physical since she left. Sorry, but women with kids don't leave over this nonsese issues. You have a kid that loves and needs you, so stop with the wishing for an accident. Women come and go, kids are forever. Depression and other phases of grief will last at least 6 months, after that you should be good.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 03:42 PM
8

Ex has moved on, you shoud too. Go for the "oh shit" squeeze and the schoolgirl eyes girl. You don't have to marry her today, or ever. I had a girl, 18 years younger that looked at me that way and was in the same boat as you, was thinking it was way too early, and now I'm regretting I fucked it up and let her go. You'll get some validation as a man, feel more confidend and won't be moping around thinking about the ex and her new guy.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 11:07 AM
14

Don't make the mistake of breaking no contact.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 10:11 PM
12

This sub woke me up how similar lives we all had. Taught me that my experience is not unique but probably universal across continets, race, religion, culture. They just don't love like we do, and while keeping me from past delusions and future mistakes, it's kind of a blackpill I will never have a life I imagined, never again be able to fully relax and trust another woman.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 12:58 PM
5

I miss the time women made me nervous and not just give me a headache, lol.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 12:34 PM
3

A classic. My life but without pleading. Hang on buddy, you'll be better about 6 months after moving.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/25 07:04 PM
1

Mine are 6 (mid autistic) and 1.5, they've become more attached to me as they see me 3-4/7 days a week, and more loving. Yeah, I worry. No negative behaviors yet, but I'm sure there will be as my ex hates me with a passion. Who knows what's in our future.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/25 12:27 PM
3

Don't leave us hanging. Save that mug for target practice when the rage phase kicks in.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 09:11 PM
2

Nooooo, third time's the charm! 😀
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 05:47 PM
3

Real life, bars, being a regular anywhere. Met two 26yos in the same week my ex "broke up with me".
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 12:30 PM
1

Recording without permission is also not allowed in my EU country. Low chance you get prison for recording your wife (pre separarion or digorce filed), but it won't be taken into account in divorce and you could get a probation sentence for illegal recording.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 05:19 PM
6

Just remember that once you file you absolutely keep the communication to a minimum and child related only, and document everything, save messages, take pics of you with your kid at every opportunity, don't talk shit about your wife and don't beat up her AP. Be a model citizen and keep a cool head, which is very hard to do as she will surely try to provoke you by rewriting history, claiming abuse, living in fear, financial abuse, gaslighting, slandering you, triangulating you with the other man/…
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 05:15 PM
5

I am also in the EU, but not in Poland. Infidelity is meaningless and mothers get 92℅ cases of primarty custody. Social services will decide how much time you will spend with your kids, and it's a mutual agreement that goes to court for approval. There is no reason to get less than 50/50 if no domestic violence, I asked for less for now due to my job and restarting from scratch - I agreeed she will stay in the family home and I move out with her paying me out, eventually. Government subsidy for …
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 05:09 PM
13

Women lie, my brother. They will look you in the eye and swear on the lives of their children and lie. Never fall in love again, it's a mental illness, or at least never marry again. Take it from someone that lost everything, because he trusted that people can change, grow, learn and deserve a second chance.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 10:01 AM
9

Never trust what a woman says, look at what she does. Women don't leave to be alone.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 09:46 AM
1

Not in US, very small town, everyone knows everyone, I don't need to tell my story - it's out there. Apps are dead, my sister. Women 30+ are not going out, are married or vanished from this Earth. Women my age look like they could be my mother. Some fine women sometimes found in the wild but married, with kids and I'm not a homewrecker. Everyone that is stable is already in a relationship. 99 /100 girls have a boyfriend. My own ex wife started dating me at 21, similar situation all around me. Sl…
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 08:04 PM
3

That's abuse. I was living like this for y years after the first kid came in this world. Was a nervous wreck and had intrusive thoughts about deleting myself. Sat in the car for an hour so she would go to sleep or sonetimes couldn't even make myself go home as I would get a panic attack. Divorced now and I have my peace and quiet. Kids are so far doing ok. You can't live like this forever, it eats you up from inside and you crash.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 05:50 PM
1

Therapy for people without serious mental illnesses does not exist over here like in the US. We have socialized healtcare - take you meds and off you go for the minor issues. I have been declared completely mentally heathy and stable and am unmedicated. There's no one to talk to or anything to talk about, in a "go to therapy" sense. Think Soviet style therapy - you suffer? Good, means you're still alive. Magnet for the broken is probably because of the way I look and dress, they say I look much …
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 05:05 PM
1

I can't find a woman who has had a stable home if my life depended on it. It's become a thing for me now, a running joke. Magnet for those types. I guess the normal ones are all taken, very little of them are ever single. I meet normal women also but they are all in 5+ year long relationships.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 04:31 PM
2

Ooof, that's not better my man. Just some.recent ones: 19 yo - has a boyfriend 23 yo - parents divorced and both abandoned her, tattoos, a complete narcissist that turned malicious after I've shown interest after months of her flirting and teasing. 25 yo - alcoholic dad, divorced parents, tattoos, bulimia in the past, claims she was raped by ex, wanted sex fast 25 yo - parents divorced, tattoos, depressed, in group therapy, drugs and alcohol, has a FWB situation, claims she was raped by ex, want…
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 04:21 PM
3

I am now the dad she hated all her life. Never be Captain Save a Hoe.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 08:46 AM
3

Loves and respects her dad, is a homebody, no external validation, can say sorry and I love you, openes up about her emotions, not just her problems, saves money.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 08:46 AM
1

I got like 10 of those. Sometimes with pics.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/25 10:46 AM
3

This describes both of my parents perfectly. Spent money on useless expensive shit for "status". Made a killing by buying real estate cheap and sitting on it, expect the next generation to do the same in this economy. Neglected the kids and left the State or the street to raise them. Won't babysit even though they foisted us to their own parents. If they manage to leave anything at all, when they die they are butthurt you get to keep on living, spending their "hard earned money".
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 11:03 AM
8

I want grandkids, and CS in not that bad, but getting married and sharing assets is brutal and idiotic. I had a kid, than had this idiotic idea to put all of my money into a new house, guess who is in that house now, and who is renting and lost it all. Should have had a kid with some random chick I met at the bar, and I'd be in my own house now with at least 50/50 custody and just hired a young Filipino maid/babysitter.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 10:51 AM
8

Church marriage is legally the same as State marriage over here, as is 2 years of cohabitation, or as soon as you get a kid. We're cooked.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 10:43 AM
6

Movie material right here.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 04:33 PM
2

Another thing, I have this friend group where many guys are 45+, never married, never had kids. Women hit on me, a divorced guy with 2 little kids, rather than on them. Very strange. I've never had a negative experience when mentionong my kids, quite the opposite, I get negative experience from men - "What did you do?", women seem to be very "supportive" and react to kids like they see a cute little puppy - "I want that!". I don't like in the USA though, there are no dating apps here, just women…
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 10:40 AM
1

No, I've found it to be opposite. I live in a small town, parade my kids around all the time. Women have seen me in a husband and a father role. Women want what other women have, and in my experience the women who want kids want a man who has proven himself already to be a provider. My ex wife is very attractive so this may have played a role. Now, when divorced I am open about my situation, I mention my kids in the first conversation, show pics, etc. Id doesn't seem to bother them. Women imply …
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 10:28 AM
7

Define relationship... I have 2 small kids and have no trouble having sex with girls 20 years younger than me. The other thing is finding one that I would want to be in a relationship with. It's been one trainwreck after another. Red flags parade. Comedic at this point, it's either - dad bailed, some ex ruined them or both, bodycount I can only imagine. You, as a single dad will be a million times more stable than the women out there in the wild. You are the prize.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 09:42 AM
2

Completely ignore this bs and don't let it faze you. It's the playbook move of laying a narrative to her friends and family and future victims. You don't care now. You are moving on. You are a rock.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 11:09 AM
4

It happens, my brother. I also found out my fuse is somewhat shorter now. Own it an apologize, bro will understand. Be glad you are financially ok and no kids. I love my kids but seeing them every time makes me depressed they will never have the life I thought they would, it's a perpetual reminder of a failure. Whatever people say, the best way to forget one woman is getting under another one. Just try not to unlearn what you have learned about women with this latest life lesson. And with no kid…
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 11:01 AM
2

This used to be a thing in the past, but at least they waited until the husband was dead.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 01:28 PM
0

Then he's selfish, as I would do anything to be able to afford to have my kids sleep over in decent conditions and not be so financially constrained now so I have to work myself to death just to escape homelessness.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 07:20 PM
1

If I knew I would be a single parent of 2 little kids I wouldn't have kids at all. Also, now that I have to restart my life from literally zero at 45, doing all the things I did when we were a family that I sacrificed for would impoverish me, and due to child support send me to prison eventually. And if my wife is inconvenienced I'm not taking my kids overnight into a shitty room I'm renting so she can get railed by randoms in peace, I frankly don't give a fuck. This is what I tell people, and I…
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 06:23 PM
5

If she wanted to (cared), she would. That's all you need to know. And trust me, women VERY WELL know men want and need sex, love, intimacy. She just stopped caring and is going through the motions, making up the excuses because he is useful, until one day he isn't, nothing more to it. No big mystery.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 04:21 PM
9

And yes, I went through the exact same thing. Ok, this is fine... she'll snap out of it, maybe it's the death of her grandma, maybe it's the kid, her work, maybe it's perimenopause, 2nd kid, maybe it's postpartum, maybe maybe maybe... but it was ME. She just lost the attraction and fucked her friend's husband. Had a serious glow up (she was already looking great), bought like a 1000$ of sexy lingerie I never had the privilege to see on her in 20 years. And this is all when I gave my best, just l…
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 12:51 PM
6

I did that experiment and can tell you outright it could be either never or years, if lucky. Lucky in a way you finally find out about the AP (coworker, her boss, "just a friend", your best buddy, neighbour going through a tough divorce, her ex for 20 years ago she reconnected on Facebook, gym guy, take your pick) and file for divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 12:41 PM
9

If you're telling the truth, it's probably projection. Only a crazy person would serve her husband divorce papers on her birthday, have a party then throw your stuff out. Perhaps you should not miss her.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 12:23 PM
4

I felt this post, except I loved her still, and wanted her to love me back again. What you wrote, I knew it, I've felt it, but stuck for the kids. It's very hard on mental health, all hopes and dreams crushed every single day. Anxiety before coming home, sitting in the car alone, being a ghost in the house. Why can't they ever be happy and content long term, it seems so simple.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/25 03:35 PM
9

Similar situation. Finances tanked, living in a shitty tiny room, scraping month to month working like hell, trying to see kids as much as I can, touch starved. Youngest is not mine, but by choice because of heath concerns. I love him the same as my older, I forget I'm not his biological father. I have peace and quiet but I'm always tired and lonely as fuck when not with kids. All new human connections I've made are pretty shallow, nobody really has time for anyone, and I'm mostly alone. Nobody …
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/25 06:56 AM
3

Tricke truth shows there is no real regret, just continued manipulation. A man can cheat and be sorry, because he was lonely, or felt unwanted and neglected but he could still be attracted to his wife, care for her and want to provide for her (as she is the mother to his children). Not all men, some are narcissists or in positions of power and do it because they can and it feeds their ego. Women usually cheat when they lose the attraction and respect and are only sorry if they are caught before …
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/25 10:05 AM
6

Like the song says: If I go, there will be trouble And if I stay, it will be double
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/25 08:48 PM
4

Same thing, I didn't delete a single pic. She claims she was never happy over the last 20 years so my kids one day will need to see them as she will surely try to alienate them. I threw out full trunks of mementos though that I saved. The pics stopped bothering me, I can look at them with indifference, they made me cry sometimes before. That I why I know I have moved on from her.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/25 03:45 PM
7

Also I have a very similar story to yours, felt the same way about my wife, put her on a pedestal, now... I don't know who this person is anymore. It's all been a huge lie. I'm sorry this happened to you, it's very hard, harder than the death of a loved one, but it gets better. Give it 6 months and your brain will adapt to anything. Come back here with updates, this sub saved my life.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/25 04:44 PM
14

Sorry but her sister is getting divorced, so you're cooked. This blindsided you and, of course you are finding all the faults and regrets you did or failed to do, but the hard truth is your wife is a active participant in your marriage and all the issues she had woth your marriage, she could have brought them out and tried working on them, instead bailing with little kids in the mix. Also, when intimacy stops, it's a red flag, but when the intimacy returns more passionate that before - that's an…
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/25 04:36 PM
4

Food and drinks are cheap here, a non fancy dinner for two would be like 30€, drinks are like 2-3€, coffee 2€. Movie tickets are less than 4€.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 02:20 PM
3

You never should have. Made the same mistake.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 10:43 AM
1

I'm also 45 and have only one bro, he's supportive but married with kids and his own shit to deal with. Apart from that, I'm completely alone. Nobody cares, checks up me, not even my mother. Have 2 little kids that don't talk yet and having them 3 days a week with no help can be exhausting, especially when outside. Can't be two places at once. But women I talk to don't react negatively when they hear about my divorce. On the contrary, and I live in a small town and am seen with my kids often. Yo…
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 08:13 PM
2

An old friend of my ex stumbled upon me a few days ago on the street and first thing she gave me a hug and asked me how I'm doing. It felt good, after 7 months of fake family friends ghosting me, and my friends ignoring me or telling me to man up. Maybe because she's a lesbian and knows how women operate.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 05:36 PM
1

She was being very secretive and sleeping on her phone Maybe she is seeing someone else. She claims she wasn't but who knows. She is, an that is the sole reason for the divorce, gaslighting, rewriting of history and slander. It's their playbook.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 12:21 PM
2

Trust? Finding a sane woman who loves you for you not "for now" but forever? No guarantees there. Does that even exist? But you'll make a baby or two, no problems there, plenty of women 28-40 who desperately want a kid. I see it in my social circle all the time. Not many marriages survive, but kids are made.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 12:27 AM
6

Same age. I live in a small country and a very small town where apps are completely dead. I get attention in person a lot but only from 15+ years younger women with ton of red flags. Almost none of the women are single. I look younger (people sometimes give me 30), very little grays, full head of hair and tall, in good shape, I dress ok, have a heavy metal vibe and get compliments daily from men and women. My face is idk, a 7. People 30+ barely go out anymore and I haven't and will never meet an…
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 09:21 PM
1

Idk. I don't use Apple products. I watch him on Youtube.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 03:14 PM
2

At this point in life I can't say if it's manipulation from the start or just feelings in the moment. If I had any truthful closure from my ex, I'd be more at peace. Just tell me the hard truth, I can handle it, stop with the fucking gaslighting for a second. Then I'd maybe adapt somehow in the future. This is just madness, chaos. To spend my future thinking wtf just happened and see women as ticking time bombs. Sometimes I wonder why am I doing this to myself and want a woman in my life at all.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 02:24 PM
14

That's like asking my ex that hates me with a passion for advice. edit: Sometimes I've been downvoted to hell for posting pure facts without any commentary. It's crazy. I suppose it's 90℅ women on that main divorce sub.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 02:15 PM
4

One of the best posts I've read here. 🎯
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 02:12 PM
1

You said love. That's very dangerous thinking.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 02:09 PM
2

Lol, I went through the same with my ex wife. Captain Save a Hoe, thinking with my dick. But I was young and she was stunning and 21. 2 kids later, putting all of my savings into a house - she bailed.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 02:06 PM
18

I only use this sub as it's impossible to not get banned or downvoted to hell anywhere else on Reddit if you're a man with marriage issues.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 01:53 PM
3

It's also on Youtube, and similar channel but with a humourous and a bit religious twist - I's God's plan. Both run by women.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 01:51 PM
3

I had a kid at 44, first at 39. You're good man.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 11:06 PM
2

It got better after 5 months for me. They I truly stopped caring for her. It was already somewhat better after the 1st month, but still with a lot of ups ane downs.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 10:37 PM
2

John Griffin Life 2.0 is like a dad I wish I had.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 10:32 PM
2

Her "new friends" (single/divorced probably) and a new guy she has eyes on is into this shit. A classic.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 09:43 AM
10

Getting this a lot - "What did you do?". Small town, and getting into dating, women assume I must have been the problem since we have 2 small kids, while she had a married AP months before I found out. Can't possibly be the woman's fault!
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 06:57 AM
3

It was that good, huh? edit: Why is this downvoted lol? I'm going through the same shit of dating again in my 40s and it's awful.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 03:33 PM
1

I've got nothing against religion, or God. I'm not an angsty teen anymore. Even now I see it has/had an important part in history and society, and even relationships. My gradparents were religous and they had a loving life lasting marriage. I wanted that, but they don't make people like that anymore. Kinda blackpilled what it has come to, maybe it's different in the US, but Europe is done. 92% Catholics, and I live in one of the most corrupt places in EU and divorce rates are nearing 60℅. Sorry …
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 02:20 PM
1

I live in a 92℅ Catholic country, and I interract with self proclaimed highly religious people on a daily basis. I know the difference between atheism and agnosticism, but I do know the catechism of the Catholic Church since I had the religious upbringing and education and can compare my lifestyle to it, and judge others based on their actions vs. their declarations. Modern religion is performative only, it died with the generation of my grandparents.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 02:01 PM
3

Same situation, 7 months in. Ups and downs. Hopefully it gets better.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 11:31 AM
1

I used to think - Maybe she's disrespecting me like this because I'm not masculine enough. I'm not exactly feminine looking or small but always wondered what the fuck do I look to her since she has the audacity and boldness to treat me like this. Then I come here and see the ex military guys write the same shit. Mindboggling. We men really are the extremely peaceful gender, all things considered.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 11:21 AM
7

Women don't date down. The emotional connection they crave is the excitement from a man of higher value than them. This Mr Wonderful with many options picked me out. Even if attractive and piss poor, you'll get women, but once you settle down with her, she'll grind you down if she's better off than you. No way this works long term.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 10:51 AM
3

Demon possesion is something I can relate to. You can't wrap your brain around it.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 10:35 AM
3

Interested in what was the reason she gave you.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 10:29 AM
6

You want to hear - you're a great guy and I am sorry, I really fucked you over. Here's what I thought at the time and why I did it, but I made a mistake and hurt you in the process. Yeah, that's not coming. There is no closure with these people. She'll just double down on the bullshit and blame you, rewrite history, paint you as trash to everyone, etc... It is what it is. I fucked up my back a while ago in front of her, a temp injury and she mocked me, didn't even help me get in the car so I can…
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 10:20 AM
7

This. Mine wanted me to give random old grannies a lift when she saw them on the street carrying bags, came home with every kitten she found, then became something that gave married men (her friend's husband) blowjobs in the parking lots when we had a baby at home while still pretending to be her friend and hanging out with their kids, trying to kill me by stress and niot letting me sleep, put me in prison and ruin my job. The mistake I made is I believed she was the person she faked to the worl…
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 10:01 AM
2

Special needs kid, CS is forever. Till 26 if the other goes to college.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 07:41 AM
1

Same but with my 2nd.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 07:57 PM
12

Good people don't mock their ill husbands while they fuck behind their backs. She had a mask, in fact her whole persona is fake, he's the only one that met the real her now.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 05:58 PM
6

She's a narcissist, selfish and what you saw was never real. The real her is in those chats. Hard to accept, even for me after 18 years together.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 05:56 PM
3

I'd prefer the Church over leaving them in the car on her hookups with her AP.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 12:41 PM
2

My granparents took me to Church every Sunday, I had Catholic classes till high school, I had 3 sacraments and considered myself an atheist for my whole life. Odds are the kids will be bored, and even if they listened to the odd mass here and there they really won't hear anything problematic. The Churches now are the bastions of liberalism anyway. And the AP? The Church is full of performative religious people, and I as an atheist live closer to the God's commandments that they do, by following …
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 12:40 PM
2

I remember the Christmas dinner guy. 🥺
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 09:03 AM
4

I could try this if I wanted to end up in handcuffs on false DV charges, probably that same night. Or she would just go out ane leave me with the kids, sabotaging my work (self employed) or made sure to never let me rest, the things she did while we were married.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 08:47 AM
7

It set me back forever, I put everything into a big house that can't be sold for many more years, and my kids are very little. CS for oldest is for life, 25 more years possibly for youngest. I came out with an old car, and a few bags of clothes and now renting a single room for the price of our mortgage.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 08:17 AM
12

I'm doing this right now, 2 rotating college students.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 09:03 AM
2

They love to spice it up, right?
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 09:01 AM
4

Like drowning, losing your mind, being stranded on a lone island, having extreme road rage - the one where you ram the other guy's vehicle and prepare for a fistfight, then like a funeral of a close person, then like waking up from a coma after 20 years and relearning to walk again. Very fun. You won't be bored.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 09:15 AM
2

We separated in April, that's when I found out about the affair. I moved put 5 weeks later and will be 2 months divorced soon. It's fresh. I'm good. I'm feeling way better mentally, healed and over it, but tired since she is in the house with the kids and I have to rent and work hard, I also have 3 days with the kids so I'm often tired from this routine. I have a romantic interest, a lot of validation from other women, a lot of freedom to do what and when I want, no nagging. I mean, it's great. …
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 07:10 PM
4

At that point in my marriage I felt she stopped loving me a long time ago and wanted me to win her over again without giving me any hints what that would be, and everything I did to show her I do love her was met with lukewarm response. Buying her 2 perfumes for Valentine's day, the day I was on a long trip through a snowstorm and almost got killed by a truck got me - Did you even try those before you bought them? - she "welcomed" me home by sitting on the toilet and went out with her female fri…
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 05:37 PM
4

Mine mentioned the divorce the first time when 7 months pregnant, I thought it was the hormones, we had no major issues. Less than a year and a half later she had another man.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 05:26 PM
3

Mine had the same mentality, and I warned her about that delusion but wouldn't listen. Now is pissed off even 26 years younger girls hit on me. They think if they devalued and discarded you, you can't possibly be worth anything to anyone.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 03:03 PM
2

What happened to the AP?
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 02:13 PM
2

Single milfs who like bad boys incoming in 3...2...1...
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 08:34 AM
4

Haha, I had a good laugh reading this. This is how my ex describes me to everyone but the kids somehow run into my embrace when they see me and cling onto my legs when I need to leave. When she comes and goes they ignore her and she's the primary parent. They must really love deadbeat dads.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 08:31 AM
1

Once you start browsing this sub it means you've been unhappy in marriage for a while - it was 3 years for me. I'm glad I found this sub before my divorce, opened my eyes to a lot of things.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 08:24 AM
2

Pleease change. For your own sake. Be the drama she so much craves.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 08:22 AM
2

I want to get married, puts in effort to trap a man, this is not at all what I imagined, stops putting effort, expects more effort from you, I don't feel loved, cheats, divorce. Welcome to manhood.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 08:21 AM
2

They thrive on having control over you and respect you less every time you bend over, no matter how insignificant the request is. You may think nice is appreciated or rewarded, but it never is. Leaning to say no, or better yet - You didn't say please, so no - is very liberating. Then wait for the tantrum, completely ignoring her. It's like having a spoiled teenage brat slamming the doors of her room, when she's told off. With consistency of saying no they will coldly hate you more, but eventuall…
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 08:15 AM
1

It gets better once your brain rewires from husband mode to - this is OK and I'll survive this. Took me 6 months to enjoy myself. What's hard is going through all the life's obligations, like work and kids while falling apart from the inside. It's a major existential crisis, anxiety about the future, loss of identity, purpose and meaning, and total lack of support and understanding from anyone. I took almost a month unpaid off work initially, and just sat by myself thinking.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 07:39 AM
2

My father was a narcissist, and I chose not one but two narcissistc women, one was a LTR, one I married and had kids with. I mistook lovebombing for love I always missed as a child, and I endured way too much shit trying to fix it as it was in the beginning. As them, he played the hot-cold games (berated me, then showered me with expensive gifts), and did the silent treatments, triangulating, then devalued and discarded and replaced me. I became aware of this only recently, some 6 months ago whe…
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/25 06:06 PM
4

Would we have listened if they did? Haha, probably not. I wouldn't have listened to my own father as I had the hubris to think I'll do better than him and fix his mistakes. And yup, was thinking with my dick, that people grow, mature and appreciate what you do for them. Luckily, us blokes have a much, much longer shelf life than women Got told yesterday by some 19yo I'm 29, 30 at most and I'm 45. I may be piss poor for now but I slept like a baby, it's gonna be OK. Looking at dating apps women m…
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/25 07:17 AM
7

Haha, I remember the phase, it came back a few times but it stops. Don't leave us for good buddy, drop in sometime to tell us about your glow up and upgrade.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/25 06:58 AM
1

Very blackpilling, I wish they thought boys this at school, and you wouldn't have to find out for yourself in your 40s.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/25 06:51 AM
13

I'm sorry my man, it always hurts when you find out how easily they glow up for someone else, and ditch you like an old shoe after all these years. Now just take it slow and enjoy the peace and quiet. See your at the gym.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/25 06:46 AM
12

In this instance your stbx is right - your suggestion would just hurt you more in the end, I think. I lived that life for 5 weeks and it was hell.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 04:01 PM
6

In my opinion, yes - until nothing has been filed or separation agreement signed. You are being lied to while still married, and probably used as babysitter while she has her fun and kept as a B option - she promises she won't fuck around to keep you hoping and not dating and finding someone else, manipulation at it's worst. Legally, in my country nobody gives a fuck.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 03:59 PM
3

That's probably a good relationship test. When she suddenly starts complaining - worry.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 03:38 PM
3

Same, then I went full throttle and one day shat the bed while having surprise explosive diarrhea. Trainspotting levels of shitting the bed. She still had a kid with me a year later, so all good.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 03:37 PM
2

Much much better for my mental health, I'm feeling superb compared to the last few years of my marriage. But the added cost of moving out in a new place, and CS force me to work a lot. I do get a lot more free time but I'm self employed so I push myself working to restart faster.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 01:37 PM
9

Never.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 12:45 PM
4

No, I don't want to get married again and have no expectations. Some of the 28-32 girls state openly they want that but I avoid them mostly because I don't want to waste somebody's time and don't want someone to settle for me or trap me in ther baby rabies phase, I already have 2 little kids. But missing the feminine aspect of relationships I don't get with my kids or my male friends. I'd be fine with a few drinks, flirting, a movie, a hug, a kiss. I've been very lonely for at least 6 last years…
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 08:53 AM
3

I get a shit ton of flirting and compliments even from inappropriately young women but can't seem to close. I'm confident and funny when in my element and have good conversational skills and communication is a breeze, but it stops there. Either they are married, way too young and just seeking validation from an older man, way older than me or maybe I'm just damaged and too cautious and closed off to pursue enough. I struggle to find somone who is interesting enough beyond the physical and feel a…
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 08:23 AM
9

She misses and prefers shallow external validation over commitment and stability, thus did you a favor. Be glad there are no kids and marriage was short, plus you are super young, younger than I was when I started dating mine, and she just left after 18 years. They tend to do this in their 40's and with multiple kids involved so blessing in disguise.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 09:01 AM
3

Sad but true.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 05:55 AM
2

Boyfriend is probably spending Christmas with his own wife and kids.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 08:26 PM
5

"Great, I'm also not in for a relationship right now but we can hang out at my place, let's say this Saturday night?"
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 08:11 AM
1

I pay for nothing outside CS. When I am with the kids, I pay for their wants and that's it. With all the added costs with me being in a separate household now, even that's hard. She has a better job with all the benefits and bigger pay, she'd just spend the extra money on herself.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 08:03 AM
2

Affair partner.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/25 08:43 PM
1

Similar, but my 1yo can be a handful after a long shift and I'm 45, that youthful energy to run after them is on reserve. My ex looks better than ever, but she's in a foul mood all the time so I guess it's not going too well with the AP. But I also uograded the haircut/wardrobe (was a metalhead before marriage), fitness was always solid, so doing quite ok. Sleeping like a baby.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/25 12:08 PM
2

Lovin' this! I'm so bad, baby, I don't care
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/25 11:46 AM
4

Be wary of people who never apologize, that's the biggest red flag I wish I haven't ignored.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/25 11:39 AM
3

This is the way. If it makes it easier to you my wife left me after I poured all of my life savings into a beautiful big new house, bought her a car and made 2x her salary. I was "working too much". Then when I found out about the other guy I hit severe depression and existential crisis so I was barely working (I took care od the kids while she went God knows where) and then it was - she was right to leave me as I was "lazy". Can't win man.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/25 11:30 AM
5

No tats, the trauma tattooed in my brain is enough lol.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/25 08:43 AM
1

Nobody sane, I have small kids and 40/60 now. Having two of them then woking to restart my life from scratch has been very tiring. It was hard even when married. But my ex thought getting rid of me would solve her every problem. Her life is much harder now, and mine is a bit easier since I moved out and can at least take a nap when exhausted. Make it make sense.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/25 08:41 AM
5

Masculine men are maybe 1/100, at least where I live and especially in my social group. I've always been a lone wolf, and it's working so far. I'm a confident introvert with social skills, but recharge when alone. I have no problem being alone, I like my own company. Easier to meet women too, when alone, and not in a group.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/25 08:35 AM
4

Went through the exact same after our second. Two months divorced now, I just laugh it off, often in her face. I don't care at all about her opinion of me, as I no longer have any respect for her.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/25 08:06 AM
8

I remember that one month of cohabitation during separation, it was hell, like you described. Also, stop blaming youself. If she left you because of your job, she did you a favor. They'll find any excuse they think it will get to you and blame you for their monkeybranching. If you weren't a drunk, a drug addict, violent or a cheater, it's bs. Seriouslly, you need to snap out of it.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 08:08 PM
3

You won't ever get these answers from her, at least not the truth. No closure is closure. I was there, with the whys. Gave up after 6 months and went full no contact. The simple answer is she is selfish, has no empathy, dodges accountability, and you were used, not loved. History has to be rewritten so she doesn't have to face herself and her actions - I have zero respect for people like this. Possibly a narcissist. That's enough to not want this person in your life anymore, ever. The question i…
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 02:08 PM
3

Their mother has convinced them that im selfish and horrible. Mine is going to do this probably. How did she do it and how come it couldn't be prevented?
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 06:05 AM
4

My 2nd is not my kid, but by choice, it was a donor baby due to health concerns. I love him the same as my firstborn, and he loves me, that is enough. I think you know the truth but don't need to prove it to anyone, and if you do, I'd wait till his life is stable and he is much more marture, and you not going through the divorce. You'll hurt yourself and your kid in a time when you need peace.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 05:49 AM
3

Yes, but she's probably gone, too much drama. Get divorced and move out, this as it is won't work with other women.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 10:53 PM
5

You fell for the oldest trick in the book. Next time you won't confide to your stbxw or if you will, when she shows up uninvited to your date you'll just tell her where the keys to the gun locker are. And no, she won't kill herself.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 10:46 PM
2

I wish I saved the reel, it was great. I still have those sometimes, just human nature. Wanting to have something I had before, at least for a while while young.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 05:03 PM
2

Don't leave us without the details 😀
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 10:42 AM
2

By talking to women with humor and confidence. And most important not being needy.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 10:41 AM
2

In my country therapy, especially couples therapy does not exist, and I'm glad it doesn't because from what I read it's a waste of time and money. It's Soviet style here - suck it up or fix it yourself. You can go to a psychiatrist if you have any serious metal problems, and that's it. And even that is completely useless if you don't like drugs, and I don't. I went maybe 4-5 times over a year mostly to prove in court if needed I'm still lucid and rational and can co-parent, since my ex started t…
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 10:24 AM
5

No and probably yes (but I have to remind myself not to). I saw an Instagram reel of Hans Landa with a caption "You are sheltering romantic delusions in your head, are you not?" and found it extremely accurate and funny.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 07:29 AM
2

Tried it, didn't work. She did exactly what her divorced friend did. Cheated on me. Can't use logic and reason with them. Appeal to kids, stability, finance, time spent together, family, nothing works once their mind is set that pure bliss with Mr New Possibility is there. It's like watching a trainwreck.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/25 01:40 PM
7

Tried this with her mom who is a good, honest woman but weak. My wife has nobody else and is estranged from her father. The bitter old hags won in the end. Now my wife is of course, unhappy after divorce as it's not like having 17 again and no responsibilities, and it's all my fault. I guess she thought I'll babysit at home in the cuck chair while she goes out partying all night with her divorced friends. Idiots, all of them.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/25 01:36 PM
8

Yeah, I was reading this sub for a year before my divorce so I was always 2 steps ahead of her and predicted every step and told her what will happen. She just went full retard and doubled down on rewriting history and painting me as abusive/shit dad and now it's down to insults. Currently and probably forever it's minimum contact for kids. She's a retard who will leave a 20+ year marriage for her single 40+ hags? Ok, here's the door. Best move for sanity.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/25 08:50 AM
2

The goal is to never trust them again. Doesn't mean you can't have a relationship. Leave all hope of being loved for who you are behind and be ready to leave in 30 minutes and no fuss when they start to get difficult, and they all will eventually.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/25 10:30 PM
12

You can't really make someone value you once they devalued you. It's the beggining of the end. Plan ahead. Went through this a year before my divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/25 10:28 PM
2

What helped me most are the youtube videos that explain female pshychology, what I experienced in all my previous relationships down to a T. I let hope and the romantic in me die, and with zero expectations for the futire it's easier to move on. The reality is brutal and blackpilling but I was blessed with solid genetics and have attention from other women so it def. helped. I just don't expect to be loved truly for who I am anymore and it's ok. I was a metalhead before I met my wife, I became a…
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/25 09:43 PM
3

No grief in the last 1.5 months whatsoever. My wife turned very malicious and hateful and so this woke me up. I just think of her as dead and this is some stranger I don't care about. Memories mean nothing anymore and I didn't delete any pics and can look at them without any feeling. I think I really moved on. Met a ton of women I am more attracted to than my wife, even though my wife is very attractive for her age and looks 10 years younger. The personality kills it. I don't care ehat she does,…
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/25 09:31 PM
5

Similar to you, was at same place at 4 months, now nearing 7 months, one divorced. Doing much better, not caring at all since I signed, it was kind of release for me. Coparenting is daily shit with her as she still tries to control and hurt me via kids and time management, turned malicious and started comparing me to other men and her APbut it doesn't faze me. Time heals everything. Moved into my crappy little room, just had a nap after I had the kids and it was peace and quiet. Working too much…
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/25 03:49 PM
3

I also said some idiotic things early on. I was comolpletely blindsided and in shock. No crying or pleading but still trying to understand WHY. As it made no sense whatsoever, and I never believed that she was capable of it. In retrospect, I should have been more indifferent. But the complete loss of my life as it was, the routine, I don't know if any man would have been a rock. But thankfully, it ended fast as I had to spend time with her because of kids and it was evil to the core. I don't und…
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/25 02:54 PM
9

In separation, many. Thought we could stay friends for the kids, that she is still human and not some thing wearing her face. Mistake? Maybe, but it woke me up very fast on women. Found this girl by chance I liked from 10 years ago. Thought we hit it off very well. Gave her my number and she ghosted me without explanation. So the feeling of being unwanted by two women at the same time was not pleasant. Post divorce doing well so far. No big mistakes.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/25 09:46 AM
8

Been there, but it was my grandfather and my brother, and then my own health scares. Divorced group of hags, peri, zero empathy. Walking away and a lot of trash metal helped. 🤘
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/25 06:57 AM
2

I'm willing to bet your anxiety has been the subconcious feeling of not being loved anymore. Once you have your life back, you'll feel much much better, as there will be no expectations from or obligations to her anymore. This was it in my case, and I found myself in many of your writing. You're a man, you have yourself, and that is enough. And you can't stay friends, they don't work like we do, they see it as weakness, and soon she'll turn mean to push you away if you try to cling on to some se…
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/25 06:41 AM
6

There was this girl A that I dated and she broke up with me (don't remeber the reason), then her best friend B reached out and I started dating her. Girl A immediately started heavy flirting when she saw me alone at a bar, sharing a smoke, would you walk me back home, I'd could invite you in etc. Another girl from their friend group, let's call her C started to chat me up on meseenger often and I played dumb until she openly stated "my parents are working the night shift and my little sister is …
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/25 07:37 PM
6

This. It's unfathomable how bored they are with stability. And it's not like never went anywhere, it's the opposite, she just always wanted more, no restaurant no matter how good it was was never good enough the 2nd time, no vacation was exciting enough no matter if it was a month ot longer. Me and my wife never even argued and in reality had no major issues. Well, enjoy the chaos now, I'll enjoy my freedom from your childish tantrums. Fully embracing my villain role.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/25 01:10 PM
18

Faithful devoted men get cheated and shat on, the ones who cheat on their wives, even multiple times have wives who are willing to "work on the marriage", including the wife of the AP of my wife. Multiple times in my life I had options and had 2 girls at the same time who knew about each other, sometimes they were even friends, and that's the time I had them most interested in me, the level of effort they put in was insane. The only mistake I made was I settled down because I wanted kids. Reject…
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/25 01:04 PM
10

A lot of providers on this sub, this wouldn't have saved your marriage. I was both "working too much or working too little" all in a span of a single year. It's probably just an excuse that she knew it would stick with you.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 09:53 PM
9

Kids complicate things, and she pulled the ole' bait and switch long game. New women - no problem, I never had any problems with women before marriage, won't have after. But never wanted to be a weekend dad, yet here we are.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 07:37 AM
1

I watched this whole channel, can attest it was spot on in describing my every relationship so far.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 07:21 AM
10

It's not peri, I've had girls aged 26 do this, they just drop the act once you're not useful anymore or you can't be manipulated. The mask dropped for you and you only to push you away, and this is who they are deep inside and their true face. Very few women are nice people deep inside. I've broken up with girls a lot of times but I've never once in my life acted like they do.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/25 12:54 PM
8

Some people just have a void in their souls nothing can fill. Sorry this happened to you.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/25 12:48 PM
1

But she also has agency in marriage and could do the same things, and I'm guessing here - didn't. I'm also pretty sure you didn't resent her because she didn't "date" you, gave you gifts and flowers. And pretty sure you paid for a lot of vacations that mean nothing and were seen as "the bare minimum". Women souldn't be put on a pedestal and worshipped or fought for every single day, marriage is a union and both people have an obligation do do their best to connect, not behave like spoiled toddle…
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/25 03:58 PM
2

This is the only exception where I understand women's point of view. Her father is pushing her to marry what is basically a stranger he picked out for her. In modern society these marriages are dead or arrival. Ok, I get the traditional marriages where your wife picked you out herself as her best option and you had the delusion this is forever and not only a temporary feeling, but in arranged marriages as a man, you should know she doesn't love you and won't ever learn to love you. Your marriage…
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/25 11:29 AM
8

Wish someone told me this a year ago. Listen to this bro, he knows what's going on.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 10:08 PM
1

Maybe it's just me, but I've been there a lot of times in the past and it never ended with just friends. Being recently divorced... idk, if this man is just trying to be your friend, he's a way better man than I am.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 08:08 PM
5

No she wouldn't. They rarely do. But if it walks like a duck, quacks likw a duck... I had to know, I found out. Traumatic, but wakes you up quickly.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 12:13 PM
5

I skipped the part 3 at least.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 11:53 AM
6

Yes, lawyer up and prepare for the incoming divorce because she already started. I wish I divorced when this exact same bullshit you described started, 5 years ago, instead I was tryng to find excuses for her obnoxious behaviour. It's not menopause or her new friends, it's her. Also, past this stage it never gets better, only worse.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 11:23 AM
9

A classic. She's hanging out with someone else besides a bunch of middle aged divorced women.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 10:33 AM
5

Mine hid my Stihl weedwacker and my Einhell drill. Goint to war for this.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 10:02 AM
1

Always another guy, always. Maybe it's emotional, maybe it's physical, but never in my life have I met a woman that didn't do this and was stupid enough to think my wife would be different just because we were together for so long and I thought I knew her. It's putting you down - gently. And she keeps the moral high ground. Shit from highschool never changes. Pretend you believe her and move on, the outcome is the same. edit: I read your post on this sub and had the exact same feelings about kid…
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 01:06 AM
8

Played captain save a hoe, ignored all the red flags, the difficult relationship with her father, self harming, awful taste in men, external validation (but that is all women) partying, alcohol (though I did the same at the time, except self harming if we ignore smoking and drinking). Was thinking with my dick as she was the most attractive woman with the prettiest face and best looking body I've ever had, and I had girls before her but she was strangely magnetic, and had a "unique" personality …
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/25 10:45 PM
2

Too young, the older is autistic, and the other one is 1.5 yo, but they hug me, and we tickle and cuddle, piggyback rides, and they run into my embrace when they see me. Worth it. Put 1000x more effort into my wife over the last 18 years, 24 if you count on and off relationship when we were teens and got - I wish I've never met you, you ruined my life, you're a shit husband, shit dad, etc. We had kids late, 13 years together when the first came and I was really a loving engaged dad, the happiest…
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/25 10:06 PM
2

You've guessed it. The thing is what worked before on her stops working after a time and starts bothering her - because it's coming from you, the person she is bored with. She wanted the butt slaps, then butt slaps became an argument. You can't win long term and whatever they say after a breakup or in therapy is just rationalization of their feeling for another man who is just a new mystery and more exciting than the guy she knows to the core.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/25 09:46 PM
1

They want something new. Trust me, the next guy is not talking to her about books or crying.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/25 09:42 PM
1

Dates are overrated if anything. Dates (or vacations) with your wife end up with her looking bored, the food was not as she would like, she ate too much, drank too much, you drank too much (according to her), she's tired now, etc. Fuck that shit. Chad is not dating, he's smashing her in the parking lot after 2 drinks.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/25 09:37 PM
2

Yeah, yeah, the classic mistake of assuming how they think. That's how we think - look how she is a great mom, I love her even more now. But I'm super glad now I put the effort I did into my kids and regret all the effort that I've put into the bottomles pit that is her soul and super regret every penny I spent on her and her never ending chase for satisfaction. My kids are too young to be grateful too, but at least they give me affection.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/25 09:33 PM
1

Tbh, I'm now also going nightclubbing every weekend night, not because I wanted to, but because she wanted to and does now herself. If you can't beat them, join them.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/25 09:24 PM
3

This doesn't really work long term, as your dates and compliments and attention have lost novelty and excitement over the years. If you did date your wife there would have come a time where she would not even be interested in those dates. Your "I love you's" lose to a random store clerk that says to her how she "looks nice".
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/25 09:15 PM
1

I don't wish her harm, I wih her the best as my kids need her and love her. I don't want to be a full time single dad, I can't be a mother. But... I've had bouts of severe anxiety, depression, PTSD maybe even, and a few health issues these last 6 months and she was very cold, and unfazed, made some cruel comments, even laughed about it. Very insensitive, almost gloating. She didn't care if I would have deleted myself initially. If I was eating, sleeping, stuck in bed in backpain for a week, coul…
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/25 05:58 PM
2

How do these mental facilities work and look? Geuninely interested, at the beginning I was not sure I'd make it without checking myself into one.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/25 03:14 PM
6

Men love romantically women love opportunistically. Hesitate to take her back. Hesitate a lot. In fact never take her back again, talk to her or even think about her. Thank me later in 1 year.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/25 10:53 AM
3

Don't you miss the rage cleaning that begins the minute you sit on a sofa or want to take a nap after a long shift?
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 08:44 PM
2

No way. She is just healing and needs to find herself, while being alone for a while. Also she loves him but is not in love with him, and wants to stay friends. Did I miss something?
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 08:41 PM
2

Yes, mine told me how this friend cheated, her boss, etc... Scorned cheaters, then did the same. What threw me off guard is we had a child recently so I thought her being a major bitch to me without a solid reason was just post partum hormones, you know the usual female excuses. It will pass, this is only temporary... Then the backstab I never imagined. I told her a lot of times during these 20 years, if you ever get sick of me, just tell me and we'll part as friends, just don't cheat on me. My …
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 08:31 PM
2

If you’re like me, you’ll think right away “no… that’s not it, she’d never cheat on me, we are different. Ive always said to her if she ever feels like cheating to just leave me first. Plus we have too much entanglement and have been together too long. No way is she cheating.” Same.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 05:07 PM
8

This looks bad right now but in time you'll be glad it happened. Enjoy your peace and quiet and your new freedom. And there is 100℅ another guy.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 02:13 PM
7

I kinda beat him up not long after I found out, nothing very serious but he ran away and embellished the story in the police report. Both him and my wife saw me as a nice harmless guy just because I'm polite and expected me to roll over in divorce and just disappear, die or whatever. She didn't belive me, even though she knows me since highschool. Then 4-5 months later I collected the recepits and sent her an essay with all the info. This time she believed me but decided to save the marriage, I …
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 08:05 AM
12

She ruined my life, and I was angry. The AP was a guy she frequenly brought into my social circle, in my house and my children's lives, he mingled with me. She discarded me after 20 years of providing like an old shoe, and they painted me as unstable, slandered me to everyone who knew me, tried to do it with my mom even, and they got away with their affair, kept cucking me for months in separationwhile I was watching the kids and she kept lying she's working. I had to move out of my recently bou…
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 07:03 AM
5

This is the real her, and what you had was her fake public persona.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 06:47 AM
10

I am at the point if she gets cancer, I'd say ok and woudln't come to her funeral. And I started wanting to be friendly post separation and this was the love of my life I would have died for a year ago.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 06:45 AM
11

I have to be the villain, so she can be the victim saint. She cheated brutally. It's like talking to a mental patient. After 6 months, completely gave up on any communication besides hi and goodbye. I don't even asks how the kids are anymore, I'll see for myelf when I come over, since she just replies "good" or with a thumbs up. Insane bitch. Sometimes I wonder how she lives with herself.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 06:42 AM
6

Yeah, depressing how we all have the same story. I could have wrote your exact comment. I read way too similar stuff on this sub every day to think "maybe this one's different" ever again in the future.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 05:02 PM
6

🎯
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 04:49 PM
13

My ex-wife said that "our marriage has been over for years!" Well, gee whiz. Thanks so much for letting me know! They all have the same script. You know, you might have told me this before we had another kid and bought a house and then you cheated, but well. I guess it wasn't a priority to inform me since you were deep into mourning by buying all that sexy lingerie and going out with "friends". When I mourn I struggle to eat, sleep and get out of the bed, women mourn differently I guess - by loo…
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 04:43 PM
12

Let me guess, you also never noticed her great MOURNING. It's complete bullshit.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 03:41 PM
13

Nobody mourned shit, and "everything was alright" until it wasn't then the complete discard came. Women don't mourn, they keep you in the dark, don't communicate and monkeybranch.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 03:37 PM
9

Similar story. Trust me, she was sleeping with him before you found out.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 09:28 AM
8

A week after initial shock of separation for sex, 6 months in and month after divorce not yet for relationships, marriage never again. The quality of available women is atrocious now, they all have some sort of damage even if they're 15-20 years younger, someone already broke them for good. Wasn't like that before as far as I remember, the hookup culture ruined them. Optimism currently at it's lowest. But I know there's a girl somewhere to ruin me again. Fingers crossed.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 11:41 PM
3

Bough her an engagement ring with a real diamond just a few weeks before I got fired during Covid. Spent a few month's wages. She never wore it, for idiotic reasons. Wedding ring she lost 6 months into the marriage (we married late in out relationship), as she was always taking it off at home. Didn't seem much bothered to think where she had lost it, and she got herself a silver as replacement. Righ there I knew she didn't love me anymore. It was like losing a hairclip for her. When we broke up …
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 10:20 PM
4

I was going to shoot myself this past weekend. Never do this brother. It will fuck up your kids for life and she'll feed them her side of the story of a loser deadbeat dad. I know a few kids like that, never recovered. Never ever have these thoughts again. You have yourself, and that is enough and if you're an engaged dad kids will love you more than any replacement "dad". Best of luck.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 05:18 PM
5

Yes, this is the final "reward" we get for providing. Ignore the irrational bitch whatever she says. She's gone man. You do everything what's best for you and your kids. When her replacement man fails to deliver she'll be singing a different tune, but by then it shouldn't be your problem anymore. Lawyer up.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 05:14 PM
5

Thankfully I got the I hate you and will never stop hating you.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 12:16 PM
1

The classic.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 11:19 AM
8

Congratulations. Nice. Happy for you. Also, fuck you 😂
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 09:22 AM
8

I don't need to go to the sub, I see and hear them plenty in real life. Bitter, ungrateful, malcontent delusional hags but... "Men date younger because they can't handle strong independant mature women!!!"
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 09:19 AM
10

No shared kids? You need to hit that block button brother.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 09:16 AM
5

Just by seeing women. You may notice they look pretty and smell nice. Semi-dead bedroom last 5 years didn't help either. Double the trauma, double the tattoos and nose piercings, double the daddy issues, double all the red flags - I am ready! I just have no appetite for relationships, though. It's too nice to get home and have 0 obligations to anyone, peace and quiet and complete freedom.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 09:09 AM
13

Yes, I am now previously known by the police. No regrets.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 06:31 PM
1

My divorce is not yet a month old. Noticed I typed 2x wife and not ex wife. Hard to make that switch in the head. I still have to correct myself in real life too. I moved on after we signed, I really don't ask or care what she does after we signed the papers, I just assume the worst. I still have to see her 3-4 times a week since she lives in our marital property house and we have 2 small kids. But I'm way way better than 6 months ago. I never really tried or wanted her back after I found out, a…
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 06:28 PM
1

Sad thing is she'll probably cheat on eventually as there is only low libido for you. They just can't bring themselves to have sex with someone they aren't attracted to. And they lose attraction fast. They know how to lure a man when they want to, very well.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 06:01 PM
2

What I learned from it all is that women are retarded. I told his wife two times they are having an affair (my wife pretended to be her friend, this was going on for months) and she's still with him. My wife probably, too. Wouldn't surprise me. So this serial cheating cowardly weasel hippie bum is more attractive to women than I am, who have been faithful, honest and dependable during my 18 years of relationship with my wife. Something to think about. They just don't want to be happy. Stability …
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 05:58 PM
6

Not the OP, but I did evertyhing. Being there for her and the kids always. Being a very good husband and dad. No vices. And the usual redpill advice didn't work. I'm mid 40s, have great hair, with no grays, fit, tall, people give me 10 years less or more, other women find me attractive. I'm outgoing, friendly, funny, can flirt, have "game" if you wan't to call it that way. She saw me in situations where other women flired with me. When we had sex it was passionate and great, I have no inhibition…
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 10:06 AM
9

She won't. I endured it for 5 years. Not completely dead, breadcrumbing me here and there. But soulcrushing for a man in early 40s. The things we endure for our kids.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 09:48 AM
2

This happens to me every day on mutiple cloud apps and Samsung gallery. I leave it as a reminder how all relationships have an expiration date, never to forget.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/25 01:03 PM
12

Yes, 100℅ all of this. Narcissist wife. 6 months later I understand why I was anxious all the time and falling apart. I never felt better in my life once she was out of the picture. There is no closure, and never will be. That is a closure in itself. You were used, not loved.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/25 11:11 AM
13

She didn't bother to tell me while we were married, so expectations on that are low.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/25 08:28 AM
5

Women destroying other people's lives out of jealousy.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 02:05 PM
5

During the last 6 months I have lost all "family friends" and got back with my highschool/college group I neglected while married. Met some new awesome people with this group. I have one guy I consider a great friene that hellped me a lot during this diborce process, and that it. Enough for me. Everything invested in my wife, her faniku and the social circle that came with the marriage was a collosal waste of time, money and energy. But the breakup wasn't really a surprise because those friendsh…
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 02:03 PM
1

I allways thought having a kid with a disability would make us tougher and help us work through things aa a team. Yeah, same. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined this life, and not that long ago. Life with a special needs child was exhausting as a couple, but now, 5 months separated and recently divorced I found out she was bringing all the stress into parenting. She made everything a problem, made everything hard and her negativity and complaining was taking it's toll on my mental …
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/25 08:10 PM
4

She is estranged from her father, so I never had much contact. Her mother is a good woman and we are ok, as always, and I hope it will stay that way since my kids love her. I have no issues with her family, and we always liked each other. But she's never going to invite me to extended family gatherings anymore so I probably won't see them ever again, which is a shame as they are all good people, and my extended lives far away so I saw her side way more than mine. What bs is she going to feed the…
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/25 12:40 PM
3

No essays, it doesn't work and it doesn't matter to them. No vices, they just numb the pain but cause more problems for you. Take a walk, work out, talk to people, or be alone and process it all. Minimum contact with her. No checking up on social media, block her on everything. First few months are the hardest, but it gets better soon.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/25 11:34 AM
6

Similar story, I worked long hours as we just bought a house, had an older disabled kid, and a baby. As soon as you slip up a bit (usually depression/anxiety from not being appreciated) they bail. They lost the tingles years ago and now they don't feel "safe" either. The man-machine has broken down! So they miraculously rediscover their libido hoping to lure another sucker who'll come rushing to save her. Good luck with that. I'm sure guys are lining up to bust their asses working for a single m…
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 07:08 PM
9

Marines get cheated on. Nothing matters, just novelty.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 10:53 PM
33

This. I would say I had been all the things listed, except into fitness maybe bue to lack of free time, but I am fit and in good shape, attractive to other women and look better than in my 20s. Was not enough. Left me for a married man, who didn't leave his wife for her. Oops. I was the one who wanted more intimacy, but she was "tired" all the time, turned into a a sex bomb for him. Well, fuck you. Asked her the very same question when she bitched about me not doing something she imagined I had …
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 10:49 PM
3

My divorce was very easy, coparenting is the real hell.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/25 03:49 PM
1

Yeah, went through the same shit. Been on this sub a year before we divorced, read a lot of what others were going through and when I saw the signs in her I knew she had an affair. She swore on the lives of out kids etc., tried to pull every thick in the book and yes, she lied. You described my wife and her relationship with her AP down to a t. It's so common that I've read at least 30 stories from guys who have the exact same life as me, down to kids's ages, years together, etc. I wish I knew a…
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 10:58 PM
7

There's always another guy. Always.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 05:37 PM
1

Don't tell the kids, maybe once when they are mature enough and independant. Last thing a kid from a broken home needs is more drama. I never cared because my father had affairs, I cared that he was not at all interested in my life and never there when I needed him in any way.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/25 09:07 PM
3

I's a huge blackpill for sure and you can't go back into the Matrix but at least you can know what to expect in the future relationships and accommodate accordingly.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/25 03:20 PM
2

I have a parental from social services pre divorce that is in motion plan she keeps changing every week and has turned into a malignant narc that hates me with a passion. She openly says she'll never stop hating me as I "ruined her life" because after 5 months of cucking I told her AP's wife. And the youngest is 1yo. This will be exciting for sure. Never will I get bored.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/25 03:04 PM
7

Mine is obnoxious too. But I'm only 3 weeks in, nothing human so far works with her. Here for the advice.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/25 01:36 PM
4

There's always another man. Advice? Women lie, don't trust them in the future.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 01:43 PM
3

Wait, you just wife swapped? How's that working out?
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 01:40 PM
7

Mine was happy before kids, as almost as she was jealous of the love I gave to kids, she started hating me.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 01:33 PM
5

It's the same exact woman, she just stopped pretending once you lost your usefulness yo her or she figured out you can't be controlled anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 01:28 PM
3

Once I learned about the widdow's fire and seen women move on quickly to another man when their husband died it was quite a blackpill.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 01:26 PM
8

If I consider the memories that have now been tainted by the realisation that she has never loved me and is actually an awful human being without any reedemable qualities, divorce is worse. People move on from death as it is closure, and I got no closure, just attacks that were meant to destroy me further. She's turned into a malignant narc from a vulnerable one and may yet permanently damage my kids or turn them against me so not sure which one I'd prefer, I'll update you in 10 years when I fin…
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 01:23 PM
4

Because you remember her from her best phase and cling on hopium this person can and will somehow come back. It won't.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/25 11:53 AM
10

Menopause won't be the excuse for her next man, just for you.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/25 11:50 AM
4

We men are always alone. Everyone relies - on us. Best sentence I ever heard is "There is no calvary coming, you have yourself and that is enough."
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/25 06:49 AM
21

Same as married men, jerking off, lol.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 10:07 AM
5

I want her to be happy and healthy as my kids love and need her and hope she will be a good mom but probably won't. She's a very attractive woman but I don't care about her physically or romantically.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 10:05 AM
2

Or you will hear something like I did and won't sleep or eat for a week. If you can move on forever without knowing, do that instead. Assume the worst and just let it go. edit: Hiding her phone is all the proof you need.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 12:15 PM
1

I didn't mention it. Neither did she.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 12:12 PM
1

GPS and a voice recorder in the car usually solve this mystery in the first few days.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 12:11 PM
3

She's not. You also dien't know she was "staying for the kids", aka for things you provide, but failed to inform you.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 12:09 PM
9

Sure she's not just hiding it better? Mine was the same, scorned cheaters did something way worse.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 08:59 AM
7

Mine did sometning similar, I feel you.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 07:12 AM
5

have some peace, and be able to have sex regularly Assumption is the mother of all fuckups.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 08:09 AM
2

Save this reel for future use 😀 https://www.instagram.com/reel/DIGJhRiTdNH/?igsh=MXE3NGZ1emxsbHllNQ==
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 08:07 AM
2

Mr. Unavailable slays every time. 😀 Make up a few felonies as a bonus.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/25 09:16 AM
3

I wish it was zero, it's negative credit - You ruined my life etc., lol.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/25 09:14 AM
7

They fall apart alone and we thrive alone, this is our biggest advantage, yes.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/25 09:13 AM
1

Another classic case. Yeah, it get's easier with time and eventually you'll be glad this happened. Enjoy your freedom.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/25 09:00 AM
1

You have an OnlyTribes? I'm a sucker for that red stripe warpaint. Book me up for 6 hours per week if you'll be an argumentative angry native girl and I can be Hernan Cortes colonising.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 06:29 PM
2

Master manipulators and liars and it's like boiling a frog. They sell a very convincing story of an exhausted mom so you live on hopium it's only temporary because that's "normal" with small kids and in marriage. And our useless, usually boomer fathers didn't teach us any valuable life lessons since they were busy buying meaningless shit to impress strangers.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 06:06 PM
6

Just stop. They are fucking like rabbits with the new man that does not do any of the husband shit and provides nothing. They are completely in control of their sex drive at all ages, just full of shit and lazy. They masturbate on the regular but sell you a story. Also counseling is for idiots because women never accept they are the problem and you can't negotiate desire in the first place.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 06:00 PM
6

My last sex with the ex was something similar he described. When I kissed her she barely managed no to say Ugh. Aaaand when we broke up (thanks to her affair) this was used against me as "she was trying hard all this time (read: every 3-6 months) but I wasn't interested or into it. I wish they had more tricks up their sleeve, this sub is depressing how they are all the same.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 05:56 PM
9

Classic case. Mr. NewPossibilty just has to show up, no chores, no bills, no vacations. Bonus points if he's a felon, married with kids and doesn't plan on leaving or a guy she met at 2 am at a bar.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 05:51 PM
1

Lol. I can attest to this.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 01:20 PM
1

Coming from a Brazillian hooker doing tours in Europe I can say this is hillarious. Send me a link, maybe I'll book you for 100€ next time if you're under 30.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/25 04:58 PM
6

10 days of complete shock.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 06:20 PM
5

2℅ sounds about right but they run in the families. I know about 15 of them. Grandiose ones are very easy to spot, covert not so much.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 06:18 PM
3

Sounds like it's time to develop a gambling problem.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 02:27 PM
6

There are plenty of nurses that will comfort you my man 😀
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 09:50 AM
1

Yes, working on getting my own decent place so I can have the kids sleepover. I miss my kid waking up at night asking for hugs, now he sleeps alone and she's on the upper floor. I do work a lot and come home dead tired at midnight so I kinda helps not think about it. I have 50-50 and I feel like she'd be jumping from joy if I took them 100℅ so this also works in my favor.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 09:48 AM
4

Congratulations on your mental fortitude. I barely endured a month of this.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 09:42 AM
2

You better start knowing fast, this is happening. Hit those pushups, stick to this sub and see you in a couple of months.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 08:52 AM
3

But that's abusive for her?! Who's gonna provide and babysit? 🤪
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 08:49 AM
1

I put up with it physically for a month until I managed to move out. Mentally not for a minute.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 08:49 AM
2

This sounds like what would happen if I gave my 6yo a credit card.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/25 01:42 PM
5

HOW are they all the same!!!
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/25 09:32 AM
3

The fucking lights and being loud on purpose just because you can sleep 2 hours longer. Waking you up for some minor shit by shaking your leg.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/25 09:31 AM
9

No. Reconnected with old friends. Went out bar hopping, danced for the first time in my life. Started gaming a bit after a 3 year long pause. Was always a codependant little bitch with a high libido but never felt so at peace alone. Give it time brother, and enjoy the freedom.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/25 09:28 AM
5

This reminded me how I busted my ass 12-14 hours a day as she was somehow always in credit card debt. In separation she stopped hiding and came home EVERY DAY with 3 bags of some shit she didn't need. And took 5 months later to find out her wage is almost double than she claimed it is. On the other hand I bought myself one pair of Converse and 3 band tshirts in the whole last year and it was a BIG problem. God, it's been 3 days since we signed and I can't stop singing.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/25 09:24 AM
6

Evety man on the planet has. They're insufferable after a while.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/25 09:15 AM
7

She wasn't into sex with you before, even less likely she is now.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/25 08:32 PM
6

Yeah, she's lying. And nothing you can do but move on.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/25 06:08 PM
4

John Griffin Life 2.0 Youtube could help.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/25 08:44 AM
7

After I caught her cheating I knew I coulrn't fix the marriage but still tried to fix her and our future relationship as coparents. Gave her some honest advice and insight how men (me or her current or future lovers) think. She never budged, stated she'll never stop hating me. Zero remorse, introspection, accountability. Eventually you have to give up. Someone here said it, we men are fixers.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/25 08:24 AM
6

Once I kicked her out and she realised life was hard without me supporting her she turned up offering unlimited enthusiastic sex whenever I wanted. Experienced the same thing after a huge argument (she stated it out of the blue while 7 months pregnant) where I was prepared to leave and stood my ground, hysterical bonding I believe it's called. It was 2 months of best sex I ever had and she was EXTREMELY into it. This was after 17 years together. Suddenly everything improved tenfold in the bedroo…
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 09:51 PM
29

Never getting married again. My kids are getting my assets.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 06:04 PM
4

Have a friend who dumped her husband, first thing she did is to get on apps and get railed by strangers. I'll never understand this. Can't you be like... a week alone and idk read a book or something?
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 05:44 PM
5

seeing the guy in this one very limited context — not real life, no shared responsibilities, not even seeing how he deals with conflict… a total fantasy. Something only a child should fall for, or throw away decades and a family for. They should tattoo this instead of inspirational quotes.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 05:40 PM
7

Mine was a fan of parking lots too. Ffs, you're both 40, invest 30€ in a room.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 05:36 PM
17

It's not so much about the sex, sex is just a weapon for them. A carrot and a stick. When she had everything her way we had sex and it was always great for both of us, she just stopped when she saw no value in me anymore. A breadcrumb here and there to keep me working and paying bills. She wasn't cheating at that time yet, she just saw no point in trying to please me. When they start really putting the effort into their looks, working out, losing weight, buying new clothes and lingerie that's wh…
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 05:34 PM
2

Had this before (mobbing at work 20 years ago) but quitting the job and physical activity made it history. During separation, a few times of major body aches, headaches and weakness, probably depression but it lasted 3-5 days max. Again, working out helped A LOT.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 05:21 PM
9

Haven't felt this, not the jealous type I guess. But often I see young guys clearly very much in love with a pretty girl and I feel sorry for them as I was this guy once and he died. Something broke and I can never get that hopeful, trusting, loving part of me back again.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 07:08 PM
3

Kids are younger but older is verbal but mid autistic. Any yeah, she cheated months before I found out. Looks like many have similar stories.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 06:37 PM
3

No. No regrets. I am already sad for her.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 06:12 PM
4

Something similar happened to me when my narc father (who I often hated) died. I cried the most on his funeral, for the dad he should have been and never was and now never will be.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/25 07:11 AM
4

Pushups, Motorhead then crack a cold one. 🤘
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/25 06:58 AM
3

Savage but true. Thankfully mine stopped kissing me or the kids a long time ago.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/25 06:56 AM
1

Well, that's just your opinion, man. Have fun with the old hags.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 04:33 PM
2

You got this, King. About the Ukraine, a lot of them here since the war started. Very pretty women, many widdows and young single girls. Mental note to stay away then, I thought they were more loyal and trad than our Western girls.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 03:53 PM
3

Like I wrote this. First 4-5 weeks I was in complete shock. Could't eat, work or sleep. Moved out. 3 months of relative peace, then followed with a week of hell when she started plotting with her AP to ruin my life. Now that I know she is pure irredeemable evil, I don't care about her cheating and I'm much better, as problems are now financial and custody matters.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 03:44 PM
4

my STBXW put me thru narcissistic abuse. She cheated, lied, gas lighted, manipulated and even plotted against me with another man. I am here but 10 years younger than you and small kids. I wonder where I will be in 10 years. Very difficult divorce with a baby. She'd doing the same thing, plotting with her AP to put me in prison, lose my job and custody. In the following comment you mentioned getting fit and no effect on women. My father was 63 and when he died I discovered he had a 10 year secre…
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 02:42 PM
0

Yes, nobody believes you a man can be abused.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 10:54 AM
2

Ain't they wonderful?
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/25 09:05 PM
3

If she's cryin' she's lyin'. I have become impervious to that manipulative techique.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/25 03:36 PM
10

Had those angry thoughts for a while, was shocked how I now think about the person I loved more than life itself but who is apparently capable of unspeakable cruelty and malice. I don't know this woman at all. Unfanthomable I thought I knew her well for 24 years and this person never existed. She surprises me daily how evil, manipulative, heartless and self centered she can be. I spoke my mind to her. She hit me in the face, I didn't flinch or react. Idk what would be if she wasn't the mother of…
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/25 12:09 AM
9

One thing you can be sure, they never watch anything to self improve, reflect and grow in a relationship, as they are perfect. They're always looking for a reason to leave. That's why on relationship issues reels and yt vids you have 99% men commenting "please send it to her timeline". I've yet to see a single woman accepting accountabily in the comment section even if the owner and creators of the content in the chanels are women themselves.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 10:36 PM
7

The projections are so wild that you wonder if they lost their mind, were always batshit crazy or just evil.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 10:28 PM
7

It's just evil. She knows his weak spots. My firstborn is autistic, I drove him 5x a week to early intervention that I paid out of my pocket even when I lost my job during Covid and spent 2 years as a stay at home dad. I stuggled with his diagnosis for a long time alone. I love this kid more than life itself. He has a life now I dreamed of when I was a kid. I am phisically affectionate and engaged dad and my kids love me. When she left me the reason she cited was that I was a shit dad and contin…
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 10:21 PM
9

Promise me one thing bro, never use the "love languages" bullshit again. In your next relationship you will never do "acts of service" to get some pity sex. Every morning you do pushups till failure, get a badass haircut and say to yourself in the mirror "I will never be gaslit again into believing I am the problem". People who love you don't leave you, even if you have flaws like all of us do, people who love you help you improve. Update us in 3 months. You got this King
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 10:12 PM
7

Crossfit + tattoos.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 10:04 PM
3

Yeah, yeah, same shit. Except it was already physical and she swore on the lives of our kids it's nothing. Always the same playbook.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 08:26 PM
5

Well mine said she resented me after she became a mother. Can't win. Dude, it's not you, she knows you, they all know our weak spots and will gaslight you because they have an affair on the side which they will not admit to ever even if you have proof. Hit the fuckin gym and thank God you didn't have kids with this woman. Good luck. Never take her back.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 08:23 PM
3

I am pretty sure my wife is a narcissist (I figued it out by her reactions following my awareness of her affair, before that she hid it pretty well and was in the devalue phase). I wanted to leave the same day but was unable to due to financial reasons, so I left 5 weeks later. I am now, 5 month later with every day even more sure she is narcissistic. No doubt about it, even my psychiatrist suggested it. She will never get the diagnosis as she absolutely refuses therapy of any kind, or counselin…
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 04:51 PM
8

It's a clusterfuck atm. Hopefully this will change soon with Court ordered parenting plan. 5 months of this hell is too much.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 09:57 AM
9

Sadly 2 little kids - hard mode ON 🤯
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 09:51 AM
2

No assets would be great, but they often have huge debt.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/25 08:04 PM
3

Yes, gone through the same, believe we all did. Time. Soon you won't crave connection as you do while still married. It's quite OK to be single and have no expectations, very liberating. I'd stay off the apps and find women in the wild after a few months when you get yourself together.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/25 01:38 PM
12

All these changes are for another man and you are an afterthought. Once she starts getting hobbies, or friends that dont involve you, doesn't want to spend time with you, doesn't care about your needs or stops the small talk, you can bet there's another man. Also you won't die withhout her, soon you'll realise she's nothing special, just a woman and find love again. No kids = ideal.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/25 01:33 PM
2

Every single time.The hubris of these deluded women is something to study. Never had an ex that didn't try to weasel her way back in at some point.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/25 11:12 AM
1

Matchmaking is a service I believe? You'll pay and have no better odds of finding a compatible woman than in the wild.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/25 07:58 AM
3

An arranged boxing match would do the trick now but I doubt modern men that sleep with married women care a lot about honor and reputation. She'll move him in the next week you're out of the house you paid for. Progress ❤ Somebody here said we're cucked by the sistem. Exactly.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 06:47 PM
1

Not in the US, so my case is different. Mothers get 90℅ of full custody cases, exceptions being abandonment or drug or mental problems. I'll get hit with CS since no way the court will give me the kids considering she has a better job and will probably stay in the house. So minimal visitation every 2 weekends or 50/50 would mean the same money I owe her and by having kids with me 50℅ of time, as self employed I'd probably starve. Kids can only have one residence and it will be her's, CS is paid …
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 05:34 PM
2

I understand but maybe she is waiting someone other to commit before leaving. And sooner or later some divorced woman from her social circle is going to get into her ear and coach her. I'd start preparing for it anyway, lawyer up and see my accountants.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 01:50 PM
2

Ok, so you tolerate her affair(s) and still provide, maybe even more. What's stopping her from filing?
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 01:20 PM
3

Depends how long was it, but you have to let go of anger outside of a gym where it's motivation. You don't want the health issues like cardiovascular problems and stomach cancer. Forgive, never forget.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 11:17 AM
3

Shinedown 45 and Simple Man, also a lot of the songs on this playlist https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7LquKicnvajT3mmPgkMnZ2?si=_2ER1AINSuWQZ9QCpFzV0w&pi=W7KGcmCmTMSNC But mostly I listen to same things as before, heavy metal, hard rock, keeps me out of my head.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 11:14 AM
2

Women fake a lot, and at a certain age they will present themselves what they think it's best for finding a safe guy. There really is no guarantees anything they say is real. In RL they get a whiff of a man they like and reinvent their whole personality to mirror what they think you'd like. You could find a girl in a Church and she could be the biggest whore in town, seen some stories like that even on this sub. As others have said, try meeting them in RL, it's all a gamble anyway, but at least …
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 11:08 AM
10

I don't hate her, she hates me, for being the only person on the planet who sees her really for what she is, and she's the one that fucked up. I'm pretty much the same person who I was before, just with more boundaries and a bit less naive relationships wise.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 11:01 AM
1

Well, I did. AMA.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 08:41 AM
2

No, bro. You got it made. Best thing that can happen to you. Bonus points if your ex is attractive.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 07:43 AM
5

Haven't you seen that Seinfeld episode where George is the bad boy? The defaming works in his favor, lol. As soon as Elaine told his gf he's a good guy that's when she lost interest.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 07:41 AM
4

Sadly I cannot block real life. Women are cheating left and right and I always knew this, small town, my wife who works high profile job told me many stories, all my friends, many of their girlfriends wanted to cheat with me, many married women during my life wanted a hookup after meeting me for 20 minutes. What I was clueless about was that my wife I trusted completely was capable of doing the same. My wife could never do this, I KNOW her, right? So, blocking the algoritm is like closing your e…
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 07:38 AM
4

They did you a favor. Just sat with those hags for half an hour yesterday. Someone mentioned my divorce and I gave them my unfitered opinions, "with all due respect but... ". Should have seen their faces lol, they're gonna avoid me like the plague from now on. And men who call you cucks are doing you a favor, it is the definition of the word and you're supposed to find a spine and put a stop to it. Knowing and staying does indeed make you a cuck. Since we don't have the option of pistols at dawn…
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 06:26 AM
3

Women are very competitive.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/25 10:01 PM
3

I'm 45 and get hit on by younger girls. Bro is gonna slay.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/25 07:27 PM
1

the grandparents on that parent's side are obliged to support him or her So, only my mother has to support my kids if I don't and her family does not need to at all, even if they are well off and my mom isn't. So it's just debt passing on to the prevous generation and does not seem very fair to my mother. If grandparents on both sides should support the kids, that at least would make some sense.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/25 09:54 AM
1

This is Google translated copy from the government site: Parents are obliged to support their minor child. If a parent does not support the child, the grandparents on that parent's side are obliged to support him or her, if they are able to do so. Parents are obliged to support an adult child while he or she is in secondary school, i.e. until the end of his or her studies and for a maximum of one year after the end of his or her studies, provided that the child regularly and properly fulfills hi…
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/25 09:48 AM
2

reduced his income Expenses are not considered, just income, for the previous year and there are government tables so you know beforehand what to expect. It can only go up, and there's a minimum per child, with age taken into consideration, as the kids age, the CS goes up as they needs increase. So... 0-6 minimum for one child is already 1/4 of an average monthly wage over here. And my older is autistic so it might be even higher, and is for life. She gets all the kids social benefits that are c…
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 04:06 PM
2

Time with the kid, expenses and income are the factors; any of those change, and the child support can be requested. But not retroactively, from the day of filing. Sadly, they don't care about that here much. Also nothing you spend on the kids on your own time is not deducted from CS. So when she bleeds me dry, when I have them we'll just watch other people eating icecream for fun. Sorry, dad doesn't have that money for that thing you want. Kids are gonna love me and my shitty studio apartment i…
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 03:14 PM
2

Yes, or by husband, but where I am mothers get 90% of custody cases (Courts favor not separating young children from mothers) and 50/50 shared is like only 3% of all cases. The parent that lives with the child (you cannot have 2 residences) is paid CS for all the kid's needs. I have a 6yo with special needs - that's increased support than usual by my income bracket, and for LIFE, wihle my younger one who is one year old is owed CS for the next 25 years, when I'll be 70yo. Also if she gets primar…
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 02:49 PM
3

Depends, if autistic, factors like early intervention, family dynamics, parenting effort and where he is on the spectrum, sensory issues or emotional regulation. Many are gentle quiet people, but if neglected or severely autistic yes, it could be just like you said. Seen it.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 01:12 PM
8

It have a special needs kid that is 6, and he's like having 3 kids, and he's a good gentle boy. I hope you're prepared.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 01:06 PM
2

I know but where I am at in EU the CS is the right of a child, paid to the parent that has the same residence as the child and is paid up until 26yo (if continues higher education). Out of court settlements are not valid since it's the child's right, not hers. CS can be asked for by wife retroactively up to 5 years (+5,15% annualy for accumulated debt) and doesn't stop even if you are unemployed. Maybe it's different in NL.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 12:59 PM
3

No child support? Is this a court order or some agreement between you two?
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 12:31 PM
4

We all married the same woman, huh?
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/25 05:40 PM
3

When they want the divorce it's way past just emotional. Months probably. She'll be back soon if Chad doesn't leave his wife for her. I made a mistake! Let's go to that counseling!
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/25 05:01 PM
4

Exactly this. The denial and the bullshit reasons and victim blaming and gaslighting that come after are worse than cheating. She'd rather rewrite the whole marriage and paint you as the villian than admit to cheating. This more than cheating burried her forever in my mind and I completely lost trust and respect for her as a human being. Ffs, mine even swore on the lives of her kids. Who doest that?
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/25 04:59 PM
4

Steve from accounting strikes again!
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/25 04:52 PM
1

Hope for the best but prepare for the divorce, trust me. 1st time she mentioned the divorce while 8 months pregnant, then 4 months after baby, before the baby was 1 she had an affair. I thought it was just temporary and hormonal and didn't take her threats seriously.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/25 02:29 PM
7

I'm not sure if I've ever not been cheated on. Sometimes I found out, sometimes I was probably not aware. Possibly some broke it off without cheating but with other men in their sights. It's just their way, secure another relationship while still in a relationship, they love the safety of having someone at all times. Nothing personal. But I was young and didn't care. Different being cheated on by your wife of 20 years or some random gf in your 20s you were 2 months with. And no, I've never blame…
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/25 02:22 PM
2

You wouldn't happen to be in Europe? I'm about to start my healing journey, lol
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/25 01:59 PM
2

I'm shocked the Disney prince didn't show up after all! Does she cook and clean and is she on her best hoovering behaviour while there? Enjoy the meals while she clings to the false hope she'll suck you back in. You sound pretty level headed and calm, so no worries for you there making a second mistake.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/25 01:20 PM
2

Can I ask you why you are single for a long time? I'm close to your age and going through divorce, but my kids are below 6.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/25 01:11 PM
6

Women understand women. Rarely an honest one will spill out their secrets. I've also had older women tell me some hard truths while men usually told me to suck it up or man up.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/25 01:09 PM
4

She's hoovering like hell, and it's up to you to decide if she misses you or there's a selfish motive because she misses the comfort of her old life. If I was in your shoes and single (no other woman drama), I'd let her visit if my kids wanted this, but wouldn't let her get too close. Expect it to turn sexual the first time you're alone and you have a glass of wine with dinner.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/25 09:07 AM
5

I coparent with my wife in our marital home, since it's very early in the process and I don't have a place of my own to take them. I moved but it's a temp thing and not suitable for 2 small kids. They are 5 and 1, and one is special needs and they don't understand what is happening. What hits the most is that she sees me daily engaging with my kids and how they love me and still textes me every day how the primary reason for our split was me being a bad father, and I continue to disappoint her d…
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/25 08:51 AM
4

Let's just say in polite terms so I don't get banned that when straight couples marry or divorce, we have certain expectations from the future or current mothers of our children your subculture will hardly understand.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/25 06:26 PM
5

She won't read this and give you a crumb of pussy.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/25 06:19 PM
6

Yeah, completely normal for a mother to "evolve" into a town bycicle. Nothing to see here.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/25 06:01 PM
1

With a small difference that she broke the marriage, not him.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/25 05:57 PM
11

Almost everyone here has been cheated on, including myself. This has nothing to do about you, how were you in the bedroom, what you did or did not do, you can't control other people. Maybe she's having a mental breakdown or who knows what and odds are you'll never know why, maybe even she doesn't know. You live your life as before, and ignore her, her actions will speak for her and how people percieve her, you have your own future ahead so don't do anything stupid.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/25 12:08 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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