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subtlecuttlefish Archive

View 0 posts and 96 comments by subtlecuttlefish on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
5

This has come up a few times, and counterpoints why I like OLD: 1) I find it a lot safer. If you stick to messaging via the app only until you've met in person, they don't have your number and you can't send photos through the app's messaging system. When I dated online not a single dick pic was had and no strangers got my number. You only use your first name or a nickname on your profile so if you have a unique combo like me they can't look you up on social media. And best of all: when I've met…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 01:50 AM
2

AMEN.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 10:43 PM
2

Hard boundary for anyone I live with (be it housemate or relationship partner) is "they must take on their fair share of the chores on their own initiative". An added boundary for partners is "they must cook normal meals like a normal adult". That includes meal planning, food shops and clean-up. I've had to move 10 times in the last 11 years and nearly always rented a room in a shared house with other adults, so I have experienced a lot of different housemates. I have lived with some extremely n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 08:40 PM
2

Just to fact check here, even if you don't have a prostate anal sex can physically feel good for women because there are a lot of nerve endings in the anus particularly near the opening, and much like touching other erogenous zones it can also enhance orgasm achieved through other means. HOWEVER. Just because the equipment is there doesn't mean you can use it. I have had boyfriends who have been very firm in their stance that they never, ever want to try getting pegged or try stimulating themsel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 04:36 PM
2

Don't even fight him on it, just smile and pay up. I'm always happy to split if he asks - like I can't afford my own dinner? He's just let me know he's not feeling it which has potentially saved me a lot of bother. If a guy goes on a date with you and is really feeling it, there's no way in hell he's going to jeopardize his chances by even asking lol. You know it. He knows it. Things that live under rocks know it. Instant pass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 02:40 PM
3

So much this. If you're that dumb I have to keep explaining everything to you, you're not going to be much use when life throws you some actual problems.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 02:04 PM
4

I LOVE that you are "unforgiving and prideful". Men getting the consequences of their own actions, we love to see it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 12:26 PM
4

So you are me from a year and a half ago. It's how I got into FDS into the first place - found of my boyfriend of nearly 4 years who I was living with was sexting/ sending nudes to another woman for three months. I'm very sure there was more but he was deleting messages so I'll never know the full extend. I ended it with him immediately. First of all block that guy on everything. You do not need to have him try and wheedle his way back into your life while you're going through the 5 Stages of Gr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 12:11 PM
1

Another vote for OkC. It was my first time online dating and it really was a pleasant experience. I like that you can't send photos through the messenger service, so not one single dick pic was received, and I only gave my number out once I'd met the guy and things were progressing and I felt safe. The questions are awesome. Because you can put as much or as little effort into the profiles as you like, it's a great way to sift out people that don't make an effort straight away. Yes you do occasi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 12:39 PM
5

The charity which makes old wedding dresses into gowns for stillborn babies is an absolutely beautiful idea.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 05:46 PM
2

Great advice. Also to second this from someone else who had a toxic dad situation - get your financial freedom asap. Work hard in school, get good grades and choose a stable career where you can make plenty of money. You do not want to be in a position where you're relying on someone like this financially. Your education is your way out!! I know it's hard to figure all this stuff out without parental support but I did it and it can definitely be done. It's great you are thinking about this at yo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 07:46 PM
2

I've got hypothalamic amenorrea which means my menstrual cycle gets suppressed by high levels of stress, undereating, lack of sleep and overexercising. I've been tracking my period for two years and I spotted that relationship stress was a major trigger. I would get late periods when we were having a lot of arguments, skip periods entirely when a big calamity happened. That happened twice: once when I was under huge job stress, the second time when (I know now) my ex was cheating on me. The week…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 04:54 PM
2

In dysfunctional families, trauma-bonding is a way of protecting a child who is dependent on an unsafe or unavailable caregiver. That's why even children that go through severe abuse are often still very attached to their parents. Dysfunctional families take on predictable patterns (see: pattern of abuse, problem spouse and the enabler) to maintain stability in the face of unstable circumstances. It's an adaptation to unhealthy situations a.k.a. trauma. While this is exactly what you need to be …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 04:39 PM
3

Lmao yessss. When I caught my ex cheating I told him the next day that I was moving out and we were done. No, I did not want to "try again" despite all his tears and promises it would be different, he was forever changed by this experience, he would do anything to go back and undo what he'd done blah blah blah. He looked super sad and said in a heavy voice: "I know that once you've made your mind up about something there's no changing it." You CHOSE to cheat on me. For three months. YOU torpedoe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 04:07 PM
2

I think also decent people take other's actions in good faith. We think "if I did that it must have been because I was really pushed for time/ struggling with something/ not in a good place and it would be a result of a temporary circumstance. I'd feel bad about doing it and would make every effort (and probably succeed) not to do it in the future". We apply this to others who are not acting in good faith and are using apologies, tears, pity, blame etc to get you to excuse the behaviour or even …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 01:52 PM
2

This. So much this. My friends don't cross boundaries in the first place. Very rarely there might be a small misunderstanding (again nothing major - more something like they interrupted me or forgot to bring a thing they said they would) but it's easily cleared up by mentioning it once and then it doesn't happen again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 01:45 PM
5

I love the phrase "self-selecting out of the relationship".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 01:38 PM
1

Yeah well, how about he miss you with that bullshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 02:40 AM
2

I love this!! Jokes every day. I'm a very silly person and love to laugh. All my friends are funny people I can bounce off, and I love a good workplace you can banter in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 11:50 PM
3

👏👏👏 LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE AT THE BACK. Financial independence, ladies. Maintain it always.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 11:25 PM
6

Although you weren't in a relationship for that time you were still dating. Instead of thinking about it as "nobody wanted me for 12 years" how about you reframe that in a way that is both positive and true? For example: You may have a strict definition of relationship which could be worth examining. It's interesting what people classify as a relationship - is it a length of time, the intensity of your feelings? Is it reaching a milestone such as when you say "I love you" or bring them home to m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 10:21 PM
39

This. I'd happily raise a kid that wasn't biologically mine but not under these circumstances. It's beyond manipulative that he brought the little girl home to stay with them so that his wife would get attached rather than take ownership of the problem, level with her and give her the facts and an informed choice. He couldn't even tell the truth when she kept asking him. Not partner or good dad material.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 08:56 PM
2

It's 2 dates, you need to chill as that is wayyy too early to think you know someone well enough to get attached. At this very early stage you should be still looking for other potential matches. It helps to be having 3-4 conversations going - at this point you're expecting them to fall through so keep looking and lining matches up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 03:17 AM
2

It really does bring so much peace. It's like the sudden quiet you get when you come inside your house and shut the door.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 03:04 AM
1

This. I'm not autistic and pretty good at body language and I can't distinguish between "nice because they want to fuck you" and "genuinely good person". Character always comes through though - just keep watching, as soon as you put a boundary in place, the tough situations hit or you argue about something you're going to start getting some valuable feedback. I also like to bring a new person round friends and family as they're pretty good judges of character (YMMV).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 02:51 AM
7

I was 23, he was 35 when we started dating. At the time I was surprised he was interested in me because I assumed if the age gap was reversed I wouldn't be interested. But he was and he seemed pretty great so we dated for 4 years. When I met him I was working an entry level job and couldn't drive. He had freelance work that paid well and a car. In the time we were together I went to grad school, graduated with my master's, kick started my career, got my license and bought my first car. He was ch…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 02:30 AM
24

Stop. Sending. Men. Paragraphs. Block and delete, sis, he does not deserve one iota more of your precious time. You did amazing for sending his wife the evidence though - now that is worth your effort (even if they don't heed the warning, at least you tried and they know now).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 12:31 AM
2

Paying the bill is an expression of interest and I've accidentally freaked out two guys by offering to split. I was raised Dutch and splitting the bill is normal, so it took a little while to accept this part of English dating culture. When you offer to split you are politely letting the guy know you don't see him in a romantic way. The two guys I went out with before this epiphany both told me later they thought the dates hadn't gone as well as they'd hoped because I asked if they wanted to spl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 03:30 PM
9

Dated a guy many years ago who I dumped because he didn't wash his hands after going to the toilet, which I discovered when he went to hold my face to kiss it 🤮 We were both pretty young and still learning key adult skills at the time but while I was figuring out job hunting, how to cook for myself and keep ontop of chores when I got my first full-time job he just stayed at the same level of incompetence. I didn't mind showing him/reminding him the first few times, but I was unimpressed when he …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 04:32 PM
4

Yup. Recently lost two male "friends" like that - their behaviour always lurked juuust under the boundary of acceptable. It's hard to explain but every woman I've spoken to this about instantly knows what you mean when you say "he didn't cross the line but you know when he's just liking your photos a little too much and you're getting those vibes??". They don't even have to say anything inappropriate - it's amazing how we can just tell from their pattern of interaction. By contrast I have one co…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 12:51 PM
3

Wow. Similar story to my ex. I had a few issues with anxiety&family problems when we first met but finished therapy and had resolved them in the few years we were together. I was also doing a really challenging degree and writing a thesis at the time. He was always great and supportive when I was struggling but once I got to a good place mentally, graduated and started my career he wasn't great at just enjoying a normal stable life. He started giving lots of attention to his female friends who a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 03:19 AM
4

Changing your mindset is a process so it will take time and a number of small steps. Bear that in mind and be patient while you work to change that! Like achieving any goal, it helps to clearly define it and break it down into smaller tasks. So in this case for you it might be: 1. Having a sit-down with a pen and paper and sketching out your independent vision for your career and finances - where do you see yourself in 5 years time? 10 years? How would that look if you're getting there entirely …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 02:00 AM
1

I really appreciate everyone's responses to this and I understand the reasoning behind it. At the same time it is a FACT that my last relationship ended because I caught the guy cheating on me. I'm not comfortable saying it's "because we wanted different things/ he treated me well". Because even if I lied and said that, at some point further down the line they will learn the truth about it from friends or family. If the guy is HVM they will a) understand abuse is not your fault and b) treat you …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 09:00 PM
10

But what if he did cheat on you? The whole 4 year relationship ended very suddenly because I discovered he'd been cheating. I left that night, came with a van and moved my stuff two days later. I won't bring it up myself but if someone asks "how did your last relationship end?" they get the truth. I'm not about to tell anyone he was "a great guy" or "we just wanted different things" - I'm matter of fact about it and just keep it short and present it as "yup he missed out" and using it as a power…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 11:32 PM
4

Same here, I'm your height and the neck-crick is reaaall. If the question of height comes up I usually go with "I like a man who can look me in the eye" because I mean it in both senses of the word lol. I would say though that I have definitely heard a fair amount about height preference from other women - more so than say weight. So it's not an imaginary concern. But so what?? Height is an unchangeable fact. I know plenty of attractive short guys who's height doesn't get in the way of finding p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 11:43 PM
3

This actually triggered off memories of an LVM ex which I hadn't given much thought to. My ex (who was weirdly enough not an outwardly aggressive person in any other aspect of life) used to get really wound up if for example someone cut him off or overtook dangerously, and then he would drive super close to the person to make a point. Which is completely dumb because not only is that unsafe behind a decent driver you are then putting yourself at risk for someone who has already been shown to dri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 11:11 PM
2

I'm so glad to hear it! I've had some really useful insights from FDS and want to pay it forwards so it's great to know it's helpful. Keep asking those sorts of questions! I hope you have a lovely weekend too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 09:55 AM
1

Lol. The "give it time" advice is useful - to confirm a HVM. Even if someone seems great and is treating you well you need to wait to see if it lasts and just to get to know a person's character. But "wait and see" doesn't apply to dodgy behaviour - that shit always gets worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 01:15 AM
2

Yup! If you ever go to fancy old manor houses you'll see the men and women both had their own separate bedrooms and if the house was grand enough they would have their own private sitting rooms as well, which kind of shows you that's the ideal layout when you have the money and space. Less well-off married couples (i.e. the vast majority of people) would share a room and a bed for economy reasons. In the Victorian times unmarried people often shared with someone of the same gender (look up 'bedf…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 01:06 AM
16

LVM-ex: Avoidance of issues. He would see discussions, conflict, problems etc as a bad thing. That in itself becomes a problem, because you need to be able to communicate effectively. As a result, I was the only one who brought things up, and whenever I did feel that we needed to talk about finances or housework or relationship stuff he would frame it as me always having problems because I wanted to talk about it. Tone policing - "It's The Way You Brought It Up". I always brought things up in Th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 12:01 AM
21

I was so proud of her for telling in him where to go when he suggested coming back "in two years". ie. after graduate school has finished, so he doesn't have to be a supportive partner while she's getting her degree!! Audacity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 01:09 AM
1

You did it! Thank you for being honest and saying you feel a little low even though long term you're actually reducing pain and opening yourself up to more happiness - it's great to show that even when you're feeling wobbly you can still do right by you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 01:04 AM
3

If he's not fulfilling you in bed, you need to let that mango
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 10:03 PM
1

About the kids thing, because I saw you mentioned it a few times and it is a really big deal and doesn't get talked about a lot: Firstly, do the kids need to be biologically yours? For me personally, being a parent is the most important thing, and whether the kids are biologically mine or not is a non-issue. So I'd be happy to adopt or foster. One of the best things about this is it removes the biological clock from the equation, so you have a lot more time to get yourself in a better financial …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 02:03 AM
2

I know you mean well, but when you discover the person you thought you knew was cheating on you, it taints everything. I've had regular breakups and that advice can apply when they were decent people - you can think of them fondly once the pain has gone. When there's this level of deception involved when you thought you were safe and loved it really fucks you up. There's lots of additional grief on top. You have a series of realisations where you piece together the timeline of what they were doi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 12:38 AM
2

Wait for him to text you and be enthusiastic/engaging when he does.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 12:06 AM
1

That...doesn't sound like a healthy dynamic. You should be able to raise and discuss issues in a relationship - if he refuses to have difficult conversations, you don't have to stick around. I get the feeling of guilt when you've done behaviour that you're not proud of. But if you've addressed the root cause, changed it, apologised sincerely and done what you can to rectify the situation then the next stage is moving forward together. If he doesn't see himself able to do that then it's time to e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 11:49 PM
1

Yeah, I have a story. Was with my ex for nearly four years, the last half year he started getting extremely distant and stopped putting the effort in or responding to texts and messages (despite being constantly on his phone). I ended it as soon as I found out he was sexting other girls. Same as you I had two long compassionate heart-to-heart talks after the breakup while we were sorting out shared assets. I wasn't going back and straight up told him so. He told me he'd had a porn addiction for …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 11:25 PM
3

Thank you for taking the time to write this, it's really good to read some examples!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 10:40 PM
1

This is really interesting to hear! Can you expand a bit more on how the tells you in more healthy ways? Also got love bombed by an ex and not sure if I know what the healthy type looks like.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 10:38 PM
1

Block and delete is just for LVM/NVMs. If they can't give you what you need but they're nice enough I find a short message like what you said is courteous. Well handled!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 10:15 PM
6

Taking my time to vet someone's character and updating my assessment as people unfold. I can still treat a new partner with care and respect and healthy level of trust, but my level of investment can only be increased if they earn their spot in my life gradually over time by being a consistent, loving person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 09:49 PM
5

Staying with someone because you're worried how they'll cope without you is not a good enough reason to stay. You aren't doing them a kindness - they will sense it and feel worse, and it prevents them from living authentically, delays their healing and their moving on. Don't waste someone's precious time or give them additional strife worrying/trying to save things when the die is already cast. Yes, it will hurt someone if you break up with them. You need to accept that all breakups hurt. But if…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 07:51 PM
3

Isn't that essentially an ultimatum?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 01:49 PM
3

Oh no, I'm so sorry :( I hope you are now creating/enjoying art without that bullshit going on
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 01:28 PM
8

Folks, I know these are meant as jokes but for anyone reading this please don't do any of these things. We are not these kinds of people. You do not want the legal or moral ramifications of destroying someone's possessions in anger. Just keep your head high and level up and out of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 01:24 PM
9

I actually really like that rule. Better for bedtime routines and sleep hygiene as well (switching off electronics, only winding down mentally before bed).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 09:52 AM
4

That's exactly it. If he'd have been polite about it, it's not an unreasonable request for OLD. But yeah, this level of rudeness? He's not genuinely concerned, it's a test to see if she'll put up with rudeness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 09:35 AM
12

Sorry but don't agree with this at all. When you're talking to another adult "so, what do you do for a living?" is one of the most basic getting-to-know-you questions. I'd be very concerned if a future partner did NOT show any interest in my career. One of the primary tennents of FDS (and imo the most important one) is financial independence. We need to develop our careers, get our finances in order and stand on our own two feet ladies. And a partner should encourage and support that goal - beca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 09:11 AM
49

But why bother hiding it? If what you do for a living scares them off then good! Filter them out faster.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 09:59 PM
2

🙌🙌🙌 so much this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 08:58 PM
8

Best comment: "Well now you're the kind of career oriented 30 year old he was bypassing to date 24 year olds at 37". This right here. Dated a 35 year old when I was 23. I wasn't making much in my entry level job and he was freelancing and doing okay for himself. Like this lady's husband he was very "anti-boring office job" and his work was very feast-or-famine but it always paid the bills so fair enough. I went to study for my Masters in a technical field (and had no money as I was a poor studen…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 08:02 PM
-18

...isn't Tinder the goto place for hookups though? Not really sure if this falls under "male depravity" if you're getting asked for casual sex on a site like Tinder and he's polite enough when you say no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 02:52 PM
3

This
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 09:26 AM
8

Of course he wouldn't have done that 😂 You ever argued with a guy who is in the right?? They would slap that phone down in front of you so fast like BEHOLD, THE PROOF! and another thing! And another thing! Damage control, 100%. They knew what they did is bad enough to make us leave, now they're doing us a further disservice by not coming clean about the fuck up and facing the natural consequences of their actions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 05:00 PM
19

I'd agree with what other people said about it feels a bit fishy if you're still at the talking stage and there's not been committment or a date. So some apps (Hinge, OkCupid) allow you to only send text not images. My personal rule when online dating is that until I've met them in person I don't want to give out my phone number or any social media access (all my accounts are private) for safety reasons. Until then I stay in the app which is text only. Not had a single bad reaction and I see it …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 02:24 PM
12

Well done for realising your worth. It's not about him doing a certain thing, but it's very much about how he blew up at you and told you were "making him feel like a bad boyfriend". Maybe you're feeling bad because you ARE being a bad boyfriend, Brad. My ex was the first guy to get me flowers and he used to do it frequently, which I loved. When things went south he stopped doing any kind romantic gestures. I also had the tearful "you don't get me flowers any more" convo and he too acted like I'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 01:54 PM
2

😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 01:07 PM
36

OH GURL. I'm 27, ex was also 39. I left him because I found out he'd been sexting another girl for months. He spent a lot of time on his phone and had a big social media presence because he worked in the film industry so followed a lot of models and actresses. I'm very secure and happy in myself and his social media behaviour just wasn't really on my radar because I don't put much importance on it in general - and as he was a very caring and attentive boyfriend I was getting my needs met and was…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 12:39 PM
35

My best friend and her husband both wear their rings on a chain rounds their neck as they hate having things in their hands but liked the idea of a wedding ring. Maybe that's a good alternative?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 09:56 AM
7

I'm told there's a Chinese saying that there's no such thing as an ugly woman, just a lazy one (which highlights the amount of work that goes into being attractive)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 04:45 PM
1

Honestly I just tend to rely on myself and my own judgement/ gut feeling because deep down you always know what's acceptable and it's that knowledge we need to learn to pay attention to. If I have a problem with my partner I would go and check in with myself to see how I was feeling and where the issue lies. Sometimes that's all I need to do and there's actions I need to take myself. Again you know this from your gut feel - when you are thinking it over and you wonder "is this because I'm feelin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 12:04 PM
10

That is like one of those cringey sitcoms where someone tells a lie and then they can't go back because they're "in too deep!" and the whole thing collapses as the lie unravels in a predictable and unfunny way
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 10:17 AM
29

So here's my perspective as a bi woman: There are a lot of misconceptions about being bisexual, such as people thinking we can't be monogamous (like we need one of each to be fulfilled or something) or that we're hypersexual or that we're secretly gay (for a straight partner)/ secretly straight (for a same sex partner). It's an added layer of difficulty when dating. Just because someone is bi does not mean these things are true any more for someone who is straight. That said I see a number of is…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 08:59 PM
5

LOVE this list of accomplishments, you're killing it!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 08:17 PM
12

So, so much this. We can't pick the family we come from, but if a partner can't recognise dysfunction and set appropriate boundaries with their families/friends then you need to bounce as it will affect you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 09:20 AM
2

I'm really glad to hear it helped. Wishing you strength and courage and above all lots of love and kindness ♥️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 09:24 PM
4

I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine that loss and how he could have responded like that to you in that moment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 10:50 AM
12

Girl, I was in a similar situation. I was with a guy for nearly 4 years. He was an amazing boyfriend for the two years and gave me no reason to feel anything other than lucky and happy. This is the guy I wanted to get married and have a family with - and moving in two years later, at age 27 I was right on track. When we moved in together things started to go South. Suddenly he wasn't looking at me the same way any more. He'd spend all his time on his phone but never had the time to answer jokes …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 10:19 AM
9

I really like the title of this - short snappy reminder that consistency is key and to trust your own responses. Can we add it to the FDS handbook?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 10:52 AM
28

So much this. As you sow, so shall you reap.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 02:51 PM
20

No, it's one of the best things!! Fastest way to filter out assholes which saves precious time and energy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 05:07 PM
26

"witness protection program" lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 04:54 PM
26

Boundaries are for everyone, including family members of they are not treating you with love, care and respect. Check out CaptainAwkward.com who specifically deals with lots of different social situations/boundary crossing behaviour and how to deal with them. She also gives scripts for setting boundaries which is very helpful when you're not used to enforcing boundaries. As with dating/relationships, we should strive for financial independence, focus on our careers and build emergency funds so t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 08:16 AM
27

This is really good. Just watched a bunch of his other videos as well and they all hit the nail on the head.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 11:31 PM
6

Girl, you need to sort YOURSELF out. Why are you waiting on someone else to "get their finances in order" for you to progress with your life? Especially when that someone is just following their own path and not actively working towards or thinking about a shared future with you? Right now - how can you work on your own financial circumstances, can you level up your career, can you do extra training, can you afford/apply for/save up for counselling? Suceedsocially.com. is a fantastic free site t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 02:36 PM
14

Yes yes yes. My last relationship he would get extremely defensive every time I (respectfully, directly, solution-focused, using "I" statements, with no shouting or name calling ever) brought up something around routine or household duties or behaviour that was bothering me. Apparently there was something wrong with the way I asked it every single time including my tone of voice or timing which would hurt him to the extent it would throw off his entire mood for hours. Also he would never address…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 11:56 AM
55

So I don't like facial hair past a certain length on guys. I don't feel the need to go up to clean shaven guys and tell them they look so much more handsome without all that hair on their face, unlike SOME guys who feel the need to grow out their beard. I also don't tell bearded men "you know, most women don't like beards" or "I bet you're really handsome under that beard, you should try shaving it off". If I see a guy with a well-maintained beard that suits him I don't go up to him and tell him…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 02:59 PM
3

Sorry, but at what point here is he "treating her like a fleshlight"? From the snippet posted this seems like a reasonable and valid concern (that his partner is masturbating and watching porn a lot and not showing a sexual interest in him) and he's not approaching it in a particularly entitled or unreasonable way. If there's more context you should probably add it as this a low quality post otherwise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 02:15 PM
7

I used to be in a long distance relationship with a guy who lived a three hour train ride away. Both of us had very little money at the time so we alternated seeing each other every two weeks. Of course when he came over to mine I'd make sure there would be suitable food in the house - he had some severe allergies and was also a picky eater. I was on a very tight budget at the time as I was saving up for my masters, paying for driving lessons and the sport I do twice a week and renting a room & …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 02:03 PM
3

Ehh. I'd rather be strong and get to where I want to be under my own steam.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 12:37 PM
12

I love the demon theory 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 12:32 AM
1

This.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 05:50 PM
3

Not my experience at all. I work in a male dominated field and train with a lot of guys through one of the sports I do, the majority of them have a lot going on. Maybe you're looking in the wrong place sis?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 05:49 PM
171

You deserve someone who enthusiastically and exclusively wants to be with you, don't settle for any less.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 08:54 AM
9

This is so important. My ex partner of nearly four years was an amazing boyfriend for the first two. He was genuine, kind, attentive, thoughtful, made a lot of effort. We waited three months for sex and he was always respectful around it. He was consistently very supportive of me doing my masters degree and cheered me on during the tough times. He was there for me when my pet had to be put to sleep. He introduced me to his friends and family who I liked and got on with, and who welcomed me. He e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 01:56 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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