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6StringFiend Archive

View 34 posts and 244 comments by 6StringFiend on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
54

6StringFiend/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 09:17 PM
38

Rant6StringFiend/r/Divorce_Men09/06/25 02:28 AM
37

6StringFiend/r/Divorce_Men21/06/26 07:15 PM
33

Need Support6StringFiend/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 10:57 PM
28

Rant6StringFiend/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 08:37 PM
26

Getting Started6StringFiend/r/Divorce_Men08/05/25 05:07 PM
24

6StringFiend/r/Divorce_Men01/03/26 04:40 AM
24

Need Support6StringFiend/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 06:32 PM
23

Rant6StringFiend/r/Divorce_Men25/05/25 04:35 AM
22

Need Support6StringFiend/r/Divorce_Men24/07/25 11:10 PM
21

Court6StringFiend/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 09:20 PM
17

Dealing with the Ex / STBX6StringFiend/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 05:02 AM
17

Getting Started6StringFiend/r/Divorce_Men18/07/25 07:13 PM
16

Getting Started6StringFiend/r/Divorce_Men17/07/25 05:21 PM
15

6StringFiend/r/Divorce_Men05/04/26 06:10 PM
15

Court6StringFiend/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 05:40 PM
13

Dealing with the Ex / STBX6StringFiend/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 07:46 PM
13

Rant6StringFiend/r/Divorce_Men02/05/25 01:43 PM
11

Court6StringFiend/r/Divorce_Men14/09/25 10:16 PM
10

Dealing with the Ex / STBX6StringFiend/r/Divorce_Men04/06/25 09:00 PM
10

6StringFiend/r/Divorce_Men25/01/26 05:20 AM
9

Need Support6StringFiend/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 03:47 AM
8

Lawyers6StringFiend/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 07:31 AM
7

Court6StringFiend/r/Divorce_Men16/09/25 05:38 PM
7

6StringFiend/r/Divorce_Men29/04/25 10:42 PM
6

Dealing with the Ex / STBX6StringFiend/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 08:36 PM
5

Dealing with the Ex / STBX6StringFiend/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 04:28 AM
5

Need Support6StringFiend/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 05:13 AM
4

Need Support6StringFiend/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 10:37 PM
3

Rant6StringFiend/r/Divorce_Men15/08/25 05:07 AM
3

Dealing with the Ex / STBX6StringFiend/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 08:19 PM
2

Rant6StringFiend/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 07:21 AM
2

Spousal Support / Alimony6StringFiend/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 07:18 AM
2

6StringFiend/r/Divorce_Men07/04/26 07:26 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
0

Went through the same thing a year ago. Your best bet is to see if she’s willing to seek a marriage counseling session of if she done. Either way start preparing yourself for the worst. I thought after 25 years married and a sudden exit on her part was tough but nothing prepared me for the person she turned into. When it first happened there were months and months of sleepless nights and messed up dreams about being back together, then waking up to the nightmare she no longer cared about me. I h…
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/26 04:46 PM
6

Mine was sweet to my friends and everyone else and when she flipped and turned abruptly against me and turned my family against me as well. Alot of people asked me “what did you do?” And “that doesn’t sound like her”. I was like she took money, locked me out of my cellphone after switching companies and didn’t tell me. Split our bank accounts, lied to my face, the gaslit me constantly, covered camera and took stuff, when I asked how she wants to split stuff up and she said let the court do it, t…
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/26 06:04 PM
9

Mine changed over a few weeks and 180 from the person I spent 35 years with. She just hated me for no reason. The more I tried to be nice and polite, the worse she became.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 03:11 AM
1

Thank you. Cheers 🍻
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 03:51 PM
1

My therapist keeps saying the same thing and it’s the best way to handle things. Even though I want to Text them and be like why are being like this, what did I do to deserve this. I’m trying to handle it with dignity and hope they see the truth about how this has been one sided.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 03:50 PM
1

Thank you. I’m sorry you’re going through that as well. All we can do is continue to reach out and hope it get better.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 03:49 PM
1

I hope they would reach out sooner than later but as time passes it only seems to put more distance between us.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 03:47 PM
1

I had to work so it was a nice distraction but I kept hoping I’d get a late text but nothing. I’m not surprised either but it hurt deeply.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 03:47 PM
1

Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 03:46 PM
2

Same. I would never and haven’t shit talked her. The only time I did say anything is when my son shared my location, I was at work and she told him that she was intimidated by me and asked him to give her my location. She then went to the house with a trailer and took a bunch of things. I told him what was going on and how she was covering or unplugging security cameras and taking things from the house and how she took money and it only seemed to put up more of a wall between us. I haven’t said …
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 03:45 PM
1

Thank you. I have 5 weeks to pack up and move and the timer has started. Apartment hunting sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/26 10:06 PM
2

Thank you. I definitely don’t plan on getting married again. Never wanted it in the first place being a child of divorce. I love her and never saw any one else in my life. I still don’t but I have to refocus and it’s a different perspective on things.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/26 03:12 AM
2

Cheers! I hope things work out for you. Let me know how it goes. Cheers!
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/26 03:11 AM
1

Hell yea. It’s hard to switch over and be like, oh it’s ok to put me first. It feels wrong but now it’s getting much easier. I still love to help and cook and be a part of a family. Now it’s friends that are my family.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/26 03:10 AM
1

Thank you. I’m hoping the same! But I always prepare for the worse
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/26 03:08 AM
1

Thank you. My buddy asked if I wanted to retire and move to a few spots there. I mean the living situation and food was amazing.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/26 03:08 AM
1

Yes. It’s tough. Drinking has always been a part of my life. Trying to balance it has been a big part of things the last few years. Love music and playing guitar so slowly getting back at it and going over to friend’s house when invited to get out. The holidays were the worse. It was brutal. Selling my house sucks. It literally my dream house, minus a beach or lake but a fresh start and moving out is a big part of moving forward. I keep telling myself it’ll get better and I have to try to “manif…
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/26 03:06 AM
2

Fuck yea! My life was pulled from under me like a rug. My family has all passed away and that side and my kids n wife were my world. To realize I wasn’t theirs was a hard lesson and if it wasn’t for my therapist and a few good friends that never left my side, even when in cried about the same bs every call, I don’t know if I’d be here. My therapist said what ever you do, do it with grace and dignity, and don’t change because of what’s happened to you and I didn’t. I lost both my parents to cance…
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/26 02:59 AM
1

Been working 60-70hrs, sleeping 5hrs, I wish I had some sort of social life. But my bday is coming up and I haven’t had two days off in a row in probably 5-6 months and I’m going to try to get off. Do something fun.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/26 03:51 AM
3

I’m sorry you’re going through that. Been there when things just seemed to keep piling up. Just over a year of our divorce separation journey and it sucks all around. The anxiety is some what not as bad as it used to be but I still get that “is this real life” it’s not where I wanted to be in life rn. Keep pushing through and keep busy that’s all that’s worked for me. I hope your eye is ok. I had a friend who had the same thing, a tear and then sleeping all weird and they put like a gas bubble i…
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 04:59 PM
2

I tried that after my wife said she wanted a divorce and we could work things out and things got worse. Had to lawyer up. I do know of two friends who got it done and just used a mediator. So its possible with the right couple
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 04:49 PM
6

Sorry to hear that. I would probably set up a dr appointment to get tested. Act swiftly fast. I wish I didn’t wait for things to get out of control. Still not sure if my x was seeing someone but all signs pointing to probably. She moved forward pretty quickly until I had to lawyer up after she took money and took a trailer load of things from the house. I only caught her because of my garage camera which got unplugged. She’s turned into someone I don’t recognize.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 08:08 PM
3

Same. Been almost a year separated and I still look at them from time to time. Definitely depressing.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 09:59 PM
3

Drank my fair share. Quit for 6 weeks while working at a bar. I needed to prove that I could do it for myself too. Then she said it’s weird when you don’t drink. Then say things like I was a mean drunk when I’m drinking and then go and buy me beer. I found out it was part of the problem but it wasn’t thee problem it was she never wanted to talk or listen to me when I was feeling depressed or upset about something. Now the more I look the more I see it wasn’t just those things. My therapist asked…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 12:06 AM
3

Same. Quit for 45 days then cut down. Then was told it was weird when I didn’t drink. Contradicting statements all the time.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 05:36 PM
1

Never again.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/26 01:18 AM
2

I feel this. House is for sale and it’s big and lonely. Miss my kids, miss the holidays. Just so lonely here by myself.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/26 01:48 PM
–

Very similar to me. Wife makes 3xs what I do and the talk of maintenance has got her all worked up. No one cared 4 months ago when I worked a manager position making shit money and no health insurance. Then she had the nerve to make me got a employment evaluation because I have a marketing graphic degree and run a small LLC doing graphics but took on a call center position that had great benefits and 401k match. It was insulting. I told the lady during the evaluation that if I could find a job m…
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/26 05:35 PM
1

Thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/26 07:02 PM
2

Next week is court and in two it’ll be one year since she walked out. The grieving process is a lot, exhausting and lonely. I keep showing up and doing what I can but needing to work two jobs, maintaining the sale of our dream home while it’s up for sale, eat properly, therapy, workouts…on my own is where I feel spent.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 02:00 PM
1

Pretty close to the same here. 25 years married and she hit me with the “I think I’m done.” It worked well for a bit but in the back of mind I was optimistic that we’d work on it. Till death do us part. She then got mean, lied, his money and a complete 180 from the women I knew. Start planning now. She’s thinking about it and it’s under the surface. Once my youngest graduated college it was close the end. Empty nest and she was looking to leave. Been almost a year of hell and we go to court next…
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 06:57 PM
1

Write it, let it out, pour your heart and soul into it…..then burn it. I felt the same way and then to have to feel that rejection, fuck that I will never open my heart to her again.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 05:34 PM
3

At this point it would take a lot but I don’t think I could ever trust her again nor forgive her how she’s treated me.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 02:16 PM
2

I feel exactly the same way. Going on 9 months and no contact. She just left and made me the bad guy. I lost her family as well. Which is the only family I had. My parents and sister passed away years ago. I think about my wife daily and WHO SHE WAS, not what she became and that’s the tough part but also makes me want to move on. I’m trying to move forward but it feels tough. I went out on a “date” with a lady that asked me go hang out for an afternoon, it was nice and I had a good time but felt…
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 08:02 PM
5

25 year marriage and she decided to do her own thing cuz we grew apart. She’s a dismissive avoidant and I finally figured it out. I asked for counseling and she agreed and we didn’t even make it one session and she wanted to leave. Told me she “wasn’t going back, There was no need.” I was crushed and still am. She’s a totally different person. At least my kids are older but it still hurts like hell. Seek counseling for yourself and find something to distract you from it for a while.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 05:02 AM
2

Been thinking the same at 50.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/26 05:52 PM
1

Thank you. I think she’s understanding and giving me that space with out pushing to hard.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/26 01:22 AM
2

Thank you! I met her a few times at work. She comes for the summer concert series. She came up to me and put her hand on my chest and said “do what you want with this but I had to shoot my shot” and it was her phone number. It’s been a long time since I’ve been approached. I texted her the next day and told her, no offense but I just got out of a 25 year marriage and I am taking it slow. She was like I get it. It’s been nice to have someone check in on me. Like you said nice and slow and low pre…
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 12:49 AM
1

Same was not my choice and I’m still a bit hung up on things but pushing my self forward. There’s someone out there for you as well. I think it’s gonna take time and a little more confidence. It was a great time and felt like it would have been more fun if I’d felt more relaxed. Still great company and we really didn’t plan anything but “hey I’ll pick you up tomorrow.” Kinda nervous to make any sort of moves or comments and come off corny or creepy and keeping it respectful as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 05:46 AM
3

Hello! Thanks for asking! Different just being out with another woman. Not gonna lie, I felt like I was cheating or something, which felt a big odd at first but I got over it and was like well we are just friends meeting up for the first time even though we’ve texted a lot lately, we are just hanging out. We took a ride and ended up grabbing some dinner at a local brewery. I wish I would have planned something better and looked for what was open on Sunday nights. She doesn’t drink so we stuck to…
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 02:01 AM
2

Definitely not over it. Trying to move forward and make new friends but it does feel good and bad at the same time
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/26 05:50 PM
2

I still feel weird about it. Not sure why but I feel guilty.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/26 05:49 PM
8

I started asking for help and it’s come through. Been a big help with emotional stuff beyond most people unfortunately
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/26 08:34 AM
1

I’ve used it a lot. From what things mean to how to cope with things. It’s been pretty helpful.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/26 09:53 PM
1

Not sure. My therapist said I’m In a survival mode. I started working out again 2 weeks ago. Now im just tired and sore. lol I’ve tried to work things out with her but she an absolute nightmare. I’ve tried to talk to her and she told me to talk through our lawyers. After confronting her on several things and finding out she hid money and took money. Then she came with a trailer and tried to clean out the house while I was at work. I had to call the police to make sure there was a witness. There’…
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/26 03:20 PM
2

Yes. Used to eat edibles and sleep like a baby for the most part. then the anxiety kicked in and looking for a job has lead me to not eat them. I sleep an average 4-5 for the last 9 months. Even when I’m dead tired over worked and haven’t slept. It’s been a tough road.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/26 12:39 AM
4

I would meet up and hold your guard up. Maybe theres something she want to talk about and you can choose how it goes from there.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 06:23 PM
5

I rationalize that taking my life would feel to my friends and family like when my friend took his life. It was a lot of pain and sadness. I feel like it would be better and that people wouldn’t have to care but those who actually did care would leave them sad that they couldn’t help or some how weren’t good enough to for support and it just ripples. Plus I remember as a child when I said to my mom, I don’t want to be here and she said when you die, every one will miss you and wish they had more…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 06:18 PM
2

Haven’t worn it since she filed
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/26 07:58 PM
1

Some thing that should had been done as adults and talked about later. I’m sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/26 06:05 AM
2

I’ve just been working. Rest of the time relaxing and cleaning house. Video games used to be fun. I still play guitar but not as much. Working out is my other hobby
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 04:56 AM
6

I was/am in those same feelings. Married 25 years and 35 years together. I lost my best friend and love of my life when she just decided I wasn’t worth it anymore. I did everything the last few months to keep it together and try to make things work when I felt she was slipping out of my hands. It was months of waking up with that heat flare of anxiety take over my whole body. I still miss her, the person she used to be not the person she is today. I’ve had the “my life is over” feeling and if it…
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 11:34 PM
3

Thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 03:03 AM
12

My wife did the same thing except the talking to someone….that I know of. Which I’ve suspected for some time. It took months to finally not wake up in pure anxiety and depression. Realized I’m the only one that can make things better. I have no other family, except my two adult children who feel like they have to choose a side. It sucks. Never thought I’d be here but I’m finally moving a bit forward. Thanksgiving and Xmas are the first alone holidays I’ve had in my 50 years. It was tough. I hope…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 06:31 PM
3

It’s been a rough one today the least. Sounds very similar. Got to spend a little time with my son and happy to see him. Im grateful he came. Daughter didn’t even respond. Moms turned her against me for some reason and my son said once things cool off, she’ll come around. Whatever that means. He left I cleaned up, poured some whiskey and thought about grabbing my acoustic as well! Just tough, music is such a wonderful but tough thing sometimes when emotions are high. Reached out to a few friends…
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 06:05 AM
2

25 year marriage just ended and this is my first Xmas in my 50 years I’ll be alone. My adult son was hopefully coming Xmas eve and I just had some friends invite me over for Xmas day. My daughter hasn’t even got back to me. It was my favorite holiday with my family. Mom, dad and sister all passed away and my in laws who’ve been in my life for over 30s stopped talking to me. I’m hurt, sad and depressed but I’ll put my happy face on and keep on, keeping on. Happy holidays and I hope you have a goo…
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/25 07:18 PM
7

Fuck that! I got called that and “sensitive” because I was vulnerable and willing to accept help…..she left me.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 07:57 AM
1

Thats good. Gotta get out. I was good hanging out and really missed the kids. Then going home to an empty house really put me in a depression. For sale sign was the yard this morning and they hit too. Just trying to get through to New years.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 10:50 PM
2

I’m waiting for this to happen but not looking forward to it either.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 07:04 PM
1

Thank you. Sorry to hear you’re going through that. I’ve been meaning to get to a new church. Raised Lutheran and with was catholic. With most weeks I work late Saturday and my only day off is Sunday. I would like to meet some new people and strengthen my faith. I went through a pretty rough spot this last week. Thanks for reaching out.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 07:04 PM
2

Thank you! Been hitting some bad lows lately. Like I’m just ready to give up. So appreciative that people reached out. Felt so good.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 01:55 AM
2

Right. I’m feeling a little less stressed and a bit more blessed! I had a lot of people reach out to me yesterday and it was overwhelmingly positive and I felt bad not being able to go over to everybody’s events. I literally felt humbled. Going from, fuck it, To shower, get dressed up a bit and go, was so worth it. I’m reminded that there are others that care.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 03:52 AM
1

Meet some peeps that turned me into a great group of people for the Xmas season. Hopefully it works out
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 03:48 AM
2

As soon as things settle down, I’m hitting the gym hard. Would love to do that as well. I used to workout 4-5 days a week, weights and cardio. Hurt my leg and foot and everything happening has slowed me down.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 09:19 PM
2

Thank you. 🙏 I’m hoping to keep busy and watch some football and take a nap.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 05:14 AM
1

Thank you! I appreciate that. 🫶
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 05:07 AM
2

That’s good to have that. I actually was thinking about doing something like that for Xmas. Which is gonna be the hardest Xmas. Take care.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 04:27 AM
1

Thank you. I keep telling myself, one day at a time and keep on moving forward
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 04:25 AM
2

They do. First major holiday and I know Xmas is gonna be harder. I’m trying to make my way through each day and there is just so much to get done. Ugh.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 09:21 PM
1

Thank you. It’s tough for me. I never really minded before but now that it’s all the time. I hate being alone
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 09:20 PM
3

I’m trying to take care of myself in the mean time but there’s so much stuff happening that I forget to do that. Take care.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 09:19 PM
2

Thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 09:19 PM
9

Divorce this year and turning 50. Looking to get it done next year.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 06:41 AM
0

That’s ridiculous. Some people lack empathy. I would never ask something like that. Sorry that happened to you.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 07:25 AM
5

I feel like me are always in doubt. Till You hear the story but even then.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 07:47 AM
2

Likewise, that’s why I had to move on from trying to make it work, to let’s look at this from an outside perspective, to maybe I wasn’t that bad or wrong. Maybe you just never wanted to take responsibility for your actions? I asked and pleaded with you and was left asking questions about what did I do?
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 06:17 AM
2

Yes, they want to see the reason why it’s all your fault.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 06:15 AM
2

YES! I tried to explain that after 50 she should have her self tested. It only made it worse! My therapist said the same thing. That the Mental state after this age changes dramatically!
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 06:14 AM
4

I’m there too! Like wtf do you want. I had to just move on. I have so many dreams about her. Sleep sucks and I wake up just shattered. Like I wish we just talked and could be friends. I tried and put my heart on the line. Needed to move forward before it broke me.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 06:12 AM
3

Definitely my therapist has helped me through so much. I actually see two. One that was through my health insurance and one that got to the root of a lot of childhood trauma. She’s an amazing therapist that works with children and veterans with trauma and I feel so comfortable and blessed to have her.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 02:46 AM
2

That’s so on the head. I still process it and still try to make heads and tails of it. Tell myself to not go into the depressive and darkness of it. How I feel alone and it was somehow all my fault. I’ve learned and am still learning it was not all me. I did try and asked to go to counseling together and figure it out. She’s the one that wouldn’t admit any fault and give me very little. I was begging for minimum.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 02:31 AM
3

Yes. I thought if I worked hard and went to counseling and confessed my I’ll never give up on us attitude, it would pay off and things would work out. But as they say it takes two…..
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 02:27 AM
3

That’s a great response.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 01:09 AM
5

I really like that answer but I also feel like, hey I didn’t do anything and they’re like…yea right. Then I’m like fuck off. Respectfully.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 01:09 AM
5

I guess same here.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 01:08 AM
2

That’s what I’ve been saying but it definitely throws me into a mode.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 01:08 AM
3

Dang. I’m sorry you went through that. Very similar. She went ice cold and just dropped out 35 year friendship like it never mattered. I was crushed. I just quit/started a new job to spend more time with her and work hanging out more than sundays with our work schedule. She was a workaholic and I should have seen it coming but didn’t. She was my everything. She told me a few months after her parents went through some shit and had no where to live. I immediately suggested they move in with us unt…
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 12:56 AM
3

I was taken aback by the fact they just asked it straight forward like, ya you musta did something. But I have nothing to hide and I’m a heart on my sleeve type of person. But then I feel defensive and bad, like yea there must be a good reason, wish I knew.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 12:42 AM
1

Hello! Thanks for checking in. Things are going slow but these next two months are gonna be rough. Next week go to court for maintenance before the divorce hearing itself. A month ago asked for her info to fill out forms and she told me to figure it out myself. I asked to go over assets and she said she didn’t want to get together and talk about it then came over a week later with a trailer and cleaned out a lot of the house items. I called the police to meet me there so I had documentation on w…
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 05:32 PM
4

Definitely need to reach out. I feel the same. I also feel like I cared my heavy heart in everything I did for a while. It’s starting to feel a bit easier after my wife moved out to her sisters. I am incredibly lonely but I feel like I’m able to heal a bit more and after she started to grow cold I was able to focus on me and not try to win her back or to find a common ground. She wouldn’t and didn’t try at all. So finding my own peace is a huge part of moving forward. We go to court in a few wee…
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 11:19 PM
3

I over thought all the things she said or didn’t say. I let my past traumas effect me for to long. I lost trust in her when she created space between us. I let my emotions get the best of me thinking our marriage and friendship would last forever. I tried and tried. I realized that I am humble enough to say I needed help but she wasn’t willing to meet me half way anymore. I still love her and always will even when she treated me like that enemy and showed no empathy when I was suffering.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/25 02:43 AM
1

Been a long week. Wife came over to the house, she’s staying at her sisters, She brought a friend and a trailer and started to empty out the house while I was at work. She left as soon as she knew I was coming home. My son gave her my location because she said she didn’t feel safe because I’ve been asking her questions and telling her she not allowed to split the bank account or come over coving up the security camera and taking stuff while Not telling me what’s going on. She’s Been pushing the …
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 09:48 PM
5

Wow. Just looked it up. That’s spot on. Especially me trying to figure out what I did wrong. I’m far from perfect but I also didn’t deserve to be treated and discarded the way I was. So many times I tried to get through.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/25 04:07 PM
4

I believe that more and more. She is very dismissive avoidant and narcissistic. She never can admit she is wrong or be empathetic about much. When I would try to say what you did hurt, she would say “I don’t want to argue”. So many times I would say I’m not trying to argue just tell you my point of view.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/25 04:02 PM
16

This is dead on for me. I tried everything and she was done. I tried every thing just to be friends and she had pushed me so far out. I hear that same thing “she was probably done a long time ago”. I never thought we’d be where we’re at today. It’s hard to imagine a 35 year friendship gone with in months. I’m finally starting to see she hasn’t tried for years but I kept thinking we’d get through it. It’s all I think about and it’s hard. She the only family I had left after my parents and sister …
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/25 03:15 PM
1

This is slowly happening
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/25 06:11 AM
1

I didn’t know that. I just found out via my lawyer that we can start this before we go to court.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/25 06:10 AM
1

This is the 3rd time her just taking things and 2 weeks ago took half the money from checking and savings. Then took more saying there was money in our safe that she deserved half of because I never deposited it. I talked to my son and I told him I felt betrayed by him telling her my location and that I can’t trust him anymore. He said he would have done the same for me. I was so upset. She’s pinning my adult kids against me.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 07:58 AM
1

She filed and I did see that there is mention of moving of assets or money without consent is not legal. She send me a text one day and it started out “Per Legal Counsel”. I assumed she got an attorney and it was legit. Then I ran to check the paperwork and it said that neither party was allowed to move money. I figured she moved the money to cover her payment to a lawyer but then when I called the attorney, she said she must have lied because she doesn’t have a lawyer listed on our filing. When…
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 10:19 PM
1

Thank you. Agreed I can’t trust her anymore or do I feel like she has my wellbeing in her best interest anymore. She’s out for herself and last week, once again she proved it, when she basically said figure it out yourself. I have no idea what she has going on. She’s cut ties quick.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 08:00 PM
2

Thank you for the advice. This is why I hired a lawyer. To be sure I don’t get screwed over. She’s been in control the whole time because I really didn’t know my rights or what she is hiding. I know she has a few other bank accounts and just cleaned one out because I see it on a bank statement. She also told me “Per legal counsel” that she was splitting up our bank accounts and taking an extra amount that I had saved in cash for our 25th anniversary vacation I was planning. So she decided that s…
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 07:57 PM
1

Just hiring one now. So far $4k. Hoping not more that $15k
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 05:39 AM
1

Lawyer up now
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 05:31 AM
1

Great advice. I agree.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/25 01:07 AM
2

You’re welcome. It’s not an easy road. Especially doing this by myself. My parents have passed away and little support, other than a few friends. Been talking with a therapist and trying to keep my self from getting more depressed and keep my eyes on life after. I miss her a lot. She was my friend for 35 years and now she feel like an enemy. I hate that. Take care and never give up.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 06:49 PM
2

I can say it’s not an easy path. 5 months in and 3 months away from court. It’s been harder and harder every day. Looking forward to not waking up in full panic anxiety mode. Also ready to just move forward
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 06:31 AM
2

Going through it now. 25 years of marriage and she just leaves. I lost my best friend. I feel so alone all the time but trying to work through it any way I can. I have a few friends but my only family is my two adult kids that live out of state. Just had a realtor over and trying to figure out where to live and what to do next has got me in a holding pattern. Sleep is non existent and I take what I can get. I know that eventually things will get easier but rn it seems impossible. Keep you chin u…
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/25 10:32 PM
1

Both for sure.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 05:26 AM
2

Yes. Not spending $1000s to get back $100s. I’m taking the high road. Until court.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 02:14 AM
1

I hope so. She said today “I took mine you took yours.” I said I had no choice and we are a community property state so you can’t do that until the end. She didn’t say anything
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 02:13 AM
1

Nope not yet. I didn’t pat the retainer yet and this is why.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 02:11 AM
1

That’s just it. Was told and hoping for amicable 50/50 and I am asking for maintenance. So I don’t want to let things get to out of control or get caught with my pants down. It’s not millions but it could be enough to help me live a better life.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 09:52 PM
1

In my 50’s this year. 25 year marriage and she filed a few months ago stating she wanted to do her own thing. I make 1/3 what she does and she seems to be happy to just walk away. Kids are out of the house. Should be an easy 50/50 split but she’s playing dirty now and I will be asking for alimony so I can figure out my next move and where to live after the sale of the house. She moved out and I’m currently in the house. She decided to split out bank accounts without my consent and took an extra …
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 03:30 PM
2

Thank you for the insight. What I’m thinking is it’s going to cost a lot in lawyer fees to get things settled. So I you think I shouldn’t get an an attorney and wait for mediation? When I talked to a lawyer last week he said he could look up her lawyer to file and she doesn’t have one and his retainer is $5k to start and then who knows how many hours he’s gonna put in. I don’t know how they looked it up but he said she can’t move assets without my consent and we could file an order to make sure …
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 01:31 PM
2

Damn, I am sorry to hear that. Good thing is is our kids are adults now so that’s out of the picture. Supposed to go 50-50 on everything else as long as I have the money from the house sale and our bank account she can have the rest besides a bed a TV And my guitars I’m just sick of fighting and arguing. I’m sick of all the stuff that’s going on behind my back as well. I just wanna be done and move forward, but I also don’t wanna get screwed.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 08:03 PM
1

Thank you for all that information. I definitely will look into this. I’m torn between having that representation and just figure it out myself. Although I don’t wanna get screwed I was told I can go through mediation after my first court hearing which might save me a lot of money I just don’t wanna get caught with my pants down, especially if there’s money being hidden and money being taken out of my account without my knowledgeit feels like it is a racket with the court systems and when the la…
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 08:00 PM
2

Wow. Team of three. This is what I’m worried about. Not sure if it’s even worth the fight.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 01:09 PM
1

Omg!? Why so high?
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 01:08 PM
2

It’s insanity
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 05:10 AM
1

Right. Greedy mf’s
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 05:10 AM
2

That sound tough. Our kids are adults but I make 1/3 of what she does and when I brought it up she could care less and even said “I took care of you all those years” I was like I did everything else and worked 30hr. I did 95% or the cooking, cleaning, shopping, laundry. She worked a lot and I was ok with my roll. I did break a few times asking her to help out more. Then she’d go on a streak for a week and then cut back. She’s a workaholic and then wanted to work another server job as her “social…
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 01:45 AM
1

Yikes. This is crazy. There should be some sort of guidelines that they can only charge up to so much.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 12:50 AM
1

Fuck sake. That’s insane!
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 12:08 AM
2

That’s crazy. Don’t know how I’m even gonna afford that
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 12:05 AM
1

This is what’s scares me. We were suppose to just go 50/50 But since she took money and assets out of the house, I’m asking for her to pay for fees and she sent me a text saying “per legal counsel” so I’m not stepping in court without one. I just want it to be over. Edit:I can see why suicide rates are that way as well. Been a lot mentally to deal with.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 12:03 AM
1

Ugh. That’s what’s scares me. Why so much, if I can ask?
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/25 11:49 PM
1

Yes. Plus found she has two separate bank accounts. One she shares with my adult daughter and helps pay for two horses and two dogs. Which I don’t even know how much she’s spend over the years on feed and boarding for the horses. She also has a separate credit card that I’ve never seen what’s she’s spending close to $1k a month.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/25 09:28 PM
2

Thank you. I’ve been working stupid late hours and have been trying to get back to the gym or just workouts at home. I’ve been very depressed and seeing a good therapist every few weeks. So many ups and downs. My kids live out of state and my parents and sister passed years ago. So no other family. Just turned 50 this year and trying to navigate what to do next. Feel locked in this holding pattern of anxiety, loneliness and depression and packing up the house. Trying to break through and felt pr…
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/25 08:41 PM
2

Wow. Sorry you went through that. Glad to hear things are better and the kids are well. My kids are out of the house. Can’t wait to feel like things are going to get better.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/25 08:16 PM
2

$60k!?! Why so much?
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/25 07:56 PM
1

I all want is half the house and her 401k and maintenance. I was the at home dad and recently quit my job to start a new one just before she told me she was done. She can have everything but my guitars, bed and tv.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/25 07:56 PM
1

Yes! All the time. All I seem to do is work and try to sleep. I do feel better after talking to my therapist. She keeps me motivated. All my favorite hobbies just don’t cut it anymore. I do like to go for rides to get out of the house. Take care
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/25 05:53 PM
3

Hello. We are getting divorced. Court date is set in Dec. I have a print out of all the money she took and her texts saying she took the money “that I was suppose to deposit” which was cash I saved up for 5 years. I spent a lot of it in the mean time and it was less than what she took. When I went to the bank and they did a print out of all transactions, I found there was a separate account as well that also made a $2000 payment to a credit card. So she had separate accounts that I don’t know ab…
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/25 06:55 PM
2

Yep. I have some friends that live about 30 min away
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/25 06:51 PM
2

Thank you for the insight. I’ll be talking and retaining a lawyer tomorrow. I just found another bank account while opening my own account yesterday. Seems she’s hiding more than I might be able to prove but the bank printed out the statement for me. I know she has been sharing an acct with my daughter to hide money from me. I just don’t know if I can prove it.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/25 04:50 PM
2

Was trying to figure out how to do this and don’t have a lawyer. Yet. Was suppose to be 50/50 equal and she also has been hiding money from her second server job. But the cash I saved in our safe, she took “her half” out of our saving acct.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 01:11 AM
7

She said we would split things until the divorce but after a blowout, she came over and doesn’t live here anymore, covered the camera and took a bunch of stuff out rod the house.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 12:35 AM
6

Thank you. Was hoping it wouldn’t go this route but she’s making moves then telling me we are still being amicable. Jokes on me.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 12:35 AM
1

My kids are out of state and my in laws just moved as well. I have no family around and now feel like I’m going to be spending it alone.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 08:16 PM
2

I’m not looking forward to thanksgiving or Xmas this year. So many good memories and now just that feeling of loneliness. Just almost celebrated our 25th anniversary and all the pictures and memories came up in social media and on my phone. Definitely was hard to deal with. I just cried a lot and then worked.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 07:37 PM
3

I feel this. It’s been about a month or so and I said that same thing. I feel Like a ghost in this house. The empty closet and I feel so lonely. Sorry you’re going through this. It sucks. My heart is broken.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 05:19 AM
0

I don’t but I told her “you’re forcing me into a corner” I know I should just to protect myself. Just don’t want to waste money and get no return.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/25 06:17 AM
2

There is no abuse. Just me standing up for myself. This is 95% why we are here because she is a dismissive/avoidant. Turning everything on or me.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 04:42 AM
2

Do I file a temporary order?
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 01:27 AM
2

I have no where to go yet and nothing is split yet.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 03:05 PM
1

We talked about selling and splitting but I was waiting for our court hearing
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 03:05 PM
1

Still in our cool off 120 days here and been waiting to talk. She just doesn’t communicate anything anymore. I have no where to go and she is at here sisters. So sell g right now is not a great option. I said I wanted to wait she wanted it sold a month after she said she wanted a divorce and even before we go to our divorce hearing.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 03:04 PM
4

What’s yellow rock?
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 05:33 AM
2

Mine was my best friend as well. Because we did so much together. It’s been pretty lonely without her. Just eating meals by myself sucks. It hard to understand to just it off. Most of my friends have been busy with kids as mine are adults. Taking it day by day.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 08:19 PM
1

I’ve been suffering all the long friend. I’m just hoping for something better.—-
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/25 04:24 AM
9

I needed that. Trying to find a routine and I just don’t enjoy anything and making plans only Makes me worry about my finances. I’m hating life right now. I hate waking up in this reality but I face the challenges and try to keep pushing forward.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/25 05:14 AM
1

So on the nose but so hard to live that rn. I know what I need to do but my stupid heart doesn’t get it yet. It just wants to be here and open and waiting for any scraps thrown my way. My Brain know it’s time to move forward and take care of me. It’s the switch of loosing my best friend and person I put absolutely everything into.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/25 05:41 AM
1

Thanks man. That’s the one thing there’s no real resolve. Just ended it and made me feel like it was all me. Then the gaslighting. I feel like I could have done more and sometimes less. I mean the few times she said I don’t need to get her flowers every few weeks and never wanted to plan things. Now I just feel alone. I’ve been taking care of my family for 25 years and then nothing. Just by myself. Kids live out of state and trying to make future plans when I don’t know the future and finances i…
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 10:09 PM
2

Same after 25 years. Ive tried therapy and she didn’t want to go. She said she wanted to remain friends but that had changed once I found she was doing some shady things. She’s done and she’s moved on. It’s only been 4 months now. It’s been tough. I just try to get through day by day and it’s sucks. Haven’t done a lot and hope to get out and go camping this weekend. First time without her.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 08:52 PM
9

I feel that. About same amount of time. I miss her and our daily/weekly routine. I hate being alone. I hate not knowing how she’s doing. It just got shut off. I think about her often and it really messes up most days. It’s one of the hardest things I’ve had to deal with.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 08:48 PM
2

lol. I actually dated her sister before her.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 06:14 AM
2

I feel like not seeing or talking is so hard. I’ve lost my best friend but it is healing to just move forward and try not to thing of the past and the what could have been
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 06:14 AM
1

Thanks. I wanted to and was told to find something else to do but working kept my mind distracted it was the day after that was rough.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 06:13 AM
1

I’ve done this once and it was a great release. To write what I feel is great but it also feels harsh to reread. I wish I could give it to her and hope she’d understand it and why.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 06:12 AM
1

Thank you. That’s how I felt. I just lay my stupid heart on the table and show my cards. I miss you but I’ll keep it simple. I felt it was ok but hated myself for leaving my heart open to be stomped on. Is what it is.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 06:11 AM
1

I feel that quote. No one wins. Reminds me of a song where it says “one just escapes, one’s left inside the well.” The one that leaves has already dealt with what comes after, while the one that’s dumped is left inside without resolving why. After this long I thought I’d at least have a friend
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 06:09 AM
1

I know. It’s hard for me to just shout it off. I still love her and she’s a part of my life but from here on out, I have to think about myself without thinking I’m being selfish
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 06:07 AM
2

Hello. Yes it’s slowly seeping in that I want to be friends and she doesn’t. It’s sucks and turning my heart off to emotions and empathy to her is a slow realization.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 06:06 AM
1

Hello! Ouch. It’s like how can you do that to me then act like you miss me???
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 06:05 AM
1

Well she took 90% of it and Xmas was one of our favorite holidays to celebrate with the family. The rest of the stuff is just mine from childhood or my mom’s stuff after she passed.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/25 12:00 AM
1

Yea we have 2 adult kids. I’m trying to be nice and respectful. She said she wants to keep things amicable but that feels lost. My therapist said do it with kindness and dignity. My heart is broken and I still love her but when she acts so cold I feel better not being around that energy anymore. Tough spot. It’s our 25th anniversary Saturday.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 11:59 PM
1

Sounds very similar to me but just afraid to waste money and find out the judge will favor with her.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/25 04:48 AM
2

Im in Wisconsin.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/25 07:41 PM
2

Please and thank you. How and when?
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/25 02:09 AM
2

That’s for the consultation and she told me if I get served papers to call them back immediately.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/25 06:47 PM
3

After her saying to me twice that day, that I was intimidating and then say I was threatening, I voice memo’d the last conversation we had. Where she said I was “intimidating” I asked how because I caught you lying to me and confronting you? How am I intimidating. Her parents lived here for almost a year they can confirm I’ve never done anything and she is the aggressor. I’ve never been abusive in any way.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/25 06:46 PM
3

That was how I caught her. Through our home cameras. She has access to it but today I changed the passwords so she can’t shut them off. When she stormed off and left, instead of telling the truth and admitting to going through my things and taking videos, she said she was leaving because I have cameras everywhere. Which is true. She knows of everyone of them. I have them in the garage, one facing our driveway, one in the kitchen facing the doors and one in the basement and door bell. all set up …
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/25 06:41 PM
3

She definitely has ramped things up after I caught her taking documents and I noticed she has moved her credit cards to be withdrawn out of a separate account that I don’t know about. What things should I bring up and how do I handle if she comes back and starts taking things?
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/25 05:42 PM
1

I took the file cabinet out of her truck and this morning after talking she got mad and took the rest of it out of her truck. There was something’s that she should have asked first before just taking it. Mostly stuff from when my sister passed away and my book for my motorcycle and tax papers from early 2000s. She lied to my face and said she didn’t go through my stuff and she got super pissed off at me once I told her she was lying and to show me her phone. She told me “I feel threatened” I was…
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 01:07 AM
11

My wife is the bread winner and i supported her career as I worked night and took care of the kids. After 25 years of marriage she wants out, saying she took care of me and she’s ready for her next chapter. She must of forgot I raised the kids during the day, got them to school, made lunches, did all the shopping, made 99% of the meals. I supported her and took care of everything while she worked 50hrs and went back to school. She did a lot to advance herself and I was proud of her. Now she’s di…
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 05:29 PM
1

I fucked up, I already confronted her via text, last night. She woke me up this morning while getting ready for work. I asked her what’s going on with her taking stuff out of the house. Her response was that she was taking it to work to go through it and shred it. I asked where is the stuff about our house and checking savings she said in a bin she packed up. I said how much have you taken to work she said “nothing.” I asked why she would even take it with out allowing me to look through it firs…
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 10:49 AM
1

Good to hear. Keep that up! Focus on you and your kids! Sounds a lot like me. I manage at a bar. Quit drinking for a 6-7 weeks after a blow out we had and dry January. Working at a bar it wasn’t easy and I wanted to prove to myself I could do it. She blamed my drinking, I blamed her avoidance of anything I had to say. It came out when I had a few beers, asking questions and questioning what was really going on. Found out she went out with an old coworker guy a few times after she lied to me and …
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/25 04:56 AM
3

This is going on month four.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/25 11:52 PM
9

In the middle of it now and my heart hurts and I feel so alone. Had some friends really step up for a minute now I don’t hear much from them. All the events are with families and I hate to be asked “where’s the wife?” “How’s she doing?” Then have to either say good and move on or have to explain. Which then leads me to feel like shit and self conscience about everything. Was it my fault no but I do take some of the blame. But also I hate the -I miss you and hate you at the same time. I feel like…
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/25 10:56 PM
2

We both turned 50 this year and kids are graduated from college. Once they moved away she decided to find another life. She has no friends or hobby’s. We got into an argument a few time when I suggested she stopping working 50+ hrs a week and find a hobby. I didn’t say out of a bad place, she’s just a workaholic and I suggested she make time for new things. Then turned it on me saying it was my fault she felt trapped. I was like family has been our main focus and now with the kids gone we can do…
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/25 07:28 PM
7

Same. 24years together. Some up and downs but all of a sudden ready to leave and not even try than work on our marriage. I said I never wanted to get married because my parents divorce was hell. I thought I had a partner for life. Like you said In sickness and in health, for good and bad…..I guess that only meant for me.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/25 05:03 PM
3

In the middle of all of it and this is one more thing that I honestly happens to me. Just feeling like my confidence and feeling like old me but better and wiser. Someone who actually cares. I’m glad to hear things are better and thanks for sharing. This sub has definitely been great and helpful. Even to hear the hard truths that I don’t want to hear but the honesty of it is something I need. Take care
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 05:09 PM
2

Likewise. I’m sorry you’re going through this as well. I do feel like those were the best times in my life and I’ll never get those experiences back, even holidays such as Christmas and Thanksgiving or Easter, just being together and doing the things, I guess I took advantage of them, thinking it would be forever. Maybe less with the kids because they’re adults but I never thought I’d be alone. I try to imagine what it’ll be like and all I feel is loneliness. I do hope that I would have the spac…
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 05:01 PM
2

I feel the same. Still going through the process and I feel pretty lonely. All the things we’d plan in summer or just sitting outside, fire pit, cooking on the grill, rides on the motorcycle. Plus all my friends families have younger kids so they’re pretty busy and seems like no one has time to do much. I really hope to get out of this slump but lately it all focuses around meeting out at a bar. Focusing on hobby’s is ok for like an hour then I get bored. I keep hearing how my new life is going …
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 03:35 PM
3

Cheers to all of You! 🍻
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/25 02:52 PM
2

Sorry to hear that. Sounds like my future. Looking at an apartment after living in a home for 20+ years. Dang we would be celebrating 25 in august. So similar. I have a hard time packing and she’s mad cuz I’m dragging my feet a little bit but I work nights she works days. If it was up to her we would have moved out within a month of her wanting to end things. Which was Literally a week after her bday. Spend about $1000 on presents and dinner and a sky diving package for her 50th. I got a few bee…
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/25 02:30 AM
3

First I’m sorry you’re going through this. I felt every word like I wrote it myself. I’m right there too minus the career. My parents passed so this is my only family. I did everything for my them and now it’s gone. I gave up my career to work nights and raise my kids while her career bloomed. The happily ever after of growing old and vacationing, visiting our kids is gone. I don’t enjoy much now, except loosing weight and getting in better shape. The only reason I’m still here is my adult kids.…
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/25 09:21 PM
2

It’s all I can do. Control what I can control. My thoughts, thats a little harder. Feels like one day I’m doing better then two days later, I feel so alone and depressed. Then I pick myself up and feel better and see a picture memory come up on my phone and the pain and sadness comes over my whole body like a heat waves and the anxiety just kicks in. Thank you. I appreciate that.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/25 03:14 AM
1

Crying sucks. But I’ll try it.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/25 01:05 AM
2

Thank you. Great response,On the button for me as well! Every song I play on my guitar is some sort of flashback of me playing those songs for her and her coming to shows. It’s heartbreaking. I’ve been expanding as well just trying to listen to music that’s fresh and new.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/25 01:05 AM
1

30 years friends and 25 years of married this year. She knew me at my best and worst. But rn I feel like is this worth it the same dismissal of my feelings. Like if I seen a stranger crying I would ask, you ok. I don’t get that last week. That makes me feel like really? No empathy whatsoever? Do I really know you anymore. Why so much hate?
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/25 01:02 AM
2

I’ve been trying to do anything that will make this easier and still be friends but it’s a lot harder beyond how I’m being treated.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/25 06:44 PM
2

Thank you! I appreciate it. It’s feels like a nightmare every morning. I just want things to be easier. Seeing a therapist to deal with this and one to dive deeper into my past trauma. This is right up there with it. No real family to turn to and I know my adult kids are going to be more distant because of what lies ahead. Looking for a new job and figuring things out as fast as I can. I feel like it’s going to get messy before it gets better. Not something I ever seen happening then boom. Life …
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/25 04:34 PM
1

Trying to do my best. It’s just so hard. And especially when she said she would go to couples therapy and then made the statement that she was only there to move forward and not rehash things. Like we need to resolve what’s going on. Which she doesn’t want to talk about. Slowly letting the air out of the ballon until there’s nothing left.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/25 04:28 PM
6

Thank you. It’s sucks. Definitely a humbling chapter in my life. Just trying to not let it turn me into someone I’m not.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/25 04:20 AM
2

Thank you. So true. Loosing my family has been a lot. she once asked if I’ll just get over it. I was like are you kidding?! She’s never been through it and I don’t wish it on anybody. But have some compassion or empathy. Cheers🍻
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/25 04:18 AM
1

Thank you! Exactly what I am trying to do. So hard when I still love her but there’s a lot of honest advice on here I need to recognize. Moving forward and working on me.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/25 03:52 AM
1

I felt that way for a while now and as much as that’s what I thought, she says she isn’t seeing anyone. Which I don’t know what to believe anymore. I have been open and working on me. She has been closed off and not saying much. I don’t want my kids to be the middle or avoid me because they don’t want to deal with it. My parents divorce was shitty and my sis and I were always in between and uncomfortable comments but we were much younger. I hope this pain eases up.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/25 03:16 AM
2

Thank you. It does. Every day is a step forward and 10 steps back.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/25 03:08 AM
3

All the love has turned. I don’t get it. How does a switch just flip in a few weeks. Obviously it’s been on her mind and she never once confided in me or sat me down or text me to say how she felt.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/25 03:07 AM
3

Seems like it. Just cold as ice. This I still want to be friends is getting harder and harder right now.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/25 03:05 AM
3

Thank you! I’m sorry to hear you went through that. She’s been wanting to tell our adult kids (23/24yo.) But when I asked about her family, she said she didn’t need to tell her family because it didn’t affect them. I was like it will affect the way they reach out to me. I lost both my parents and my sister so my in-laws are my other family. They lived with us last year for 9 months. We grew pretty close and still text a lot. Today I wanted to talk and she said she hasn’t had time and I’m said it…
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/25 03:04 AM
6

Thank you. I appreciate that. Big hugs! Just sitting here with tears streaming down my face. This is not where I seen myself at 50. Half my life with her, as we would be celebrating 25 years. She’s just gone cold and it hurts like hell.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/25 02:44 AM
1

Thank you. 1000%. It sucks that my release now is my anxiety and trigger. Music is my passion and I just can’t rn. Depression kicks in and makes the wounds feel fresh.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/25 02:24 AM
2

This sounds very similar to my situation. Tried to talk today and she just deflected and said we haven’t had time to talk. I said I’ve been asking and you been avoiding. I asked her if she was still going to our second therapy session and she “no, I didn’t like her or how she looked at me and didn’t listen to anything I said” I was like well she was asking about us for the first apt. It would be almost two weeks ago we went in but every time I ask “anything you want to chat about?” I get no. I’v…
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 08:50 PM
1

Thank you. Yep just the split of assets. Kids graduated college, are out of the house and out of state. My family mom dad and sister have all passed away and so no family. No prenup. Got a few good friends for support but nothing else here. Definitely would love to move somewhere warmer but tbh I just want a small home that I can live in and enjoy. I have a big finished basement now and if I were to move into an apartment, I would definitely have to get rid of a lot of it or get a storage unit. …
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/25 03:24 PM
2

Thank you everyone. With so much happening at once, I thought I was just doing the right thing to keep it about being fair. I don’t want to take her to the cleaners or do something to take advantage of the situation but don’t feel like she thinking about me anymore. Getting a lawyer feels like the money we spend out of the savings in less money we split but also I’ve been hearing that I could and should get at least half of the 401k. (I worked nights and weekends and took care of our children, I…
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/25 05:20 AM
3

Currently seeking a mediator. They run about $1000-$2000 if you can agree on everything.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/25 04:16 PM
4

Same turn 50 next week. I’ll be alone. I hate it.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 01:58 AM
1

As much as it may hurt, respect their wishes. I always went to see my dad as a kid. My sister on the other hand was scared of him and for good reason. (Not to mention we were always put in between my parents as kids) I suggest talking and texting to regain their confidence and trust and be able to understand why they feel like that and make small talk. At this age forcing them might also make them feel forced and they might pull back. Meeting with them on a neutral ground, going to lunch or a mo…
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/25 06:23 AM
5

Thank you. The echos of what was. The love we once shared. 100% it’s been 25 years. I’m gonna reread this like a mantra bc it’s so spot on. Seeing things a little clearer each day. Just can’t imagine my life after is something I need to face. If you love someone set them free……
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/25 05:50 AM
2

I definitely wasn’t the best husband but I also tried so hard. She made the money, I took care of the home and children. We agreed on that. I raised two amazing kids and as happy to give up my own career to do that. Not to have it held against me and realize how much I gave to my family willingly. I wouldn’t change a thing other than pursuing my career later after working 2nd shift bs jobs. Finding out she is a dismissive avoidant made me understand a lot more and opened my eyes to how I was act…
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/25 05:42 AM
3

Right. Yes I do. But I think the hardest part is letting go after all these years. Through therapy I know I can only control me and my actions. The rest is out of my control and I need to accept that. My heart on the other hand….
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/25 05:36 AM
3

She’s definitely checked out. Even more since we barely talk. Shes packed up and is ready to move on without me. I can’t trust she’s not with someone else just bc she says she’s not but not sure what to think. She said she hasn’t talked to anyone, 3 sister and her parents? She got mad when I said I reached out to a few friends bc I was depressed and needed to talk to someone. I know I need to just pack up and figure it out after but I love her. Shes been there for me when I lost my parents and m…
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/25 05:10 AM
2

Thank you. I feel that. I’ve been trying and trying to figure it out. And finally realized that yea I’m not perfect and I wasn’t the perfect person but I tried to be open, I tried to talk it out. Then realized I’m not a perfect person and I did try. I can hold myself accountable but she had to as well. And if she’s done with me how can I put love and effort into a conversation that has no empathy, no compassion, after all these years. I will never give up on my love and friendship for her and my…
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/25 05:05 AM
3

Thank you. All insight is good insight. And I’ve been taking to two therapist. One for my past traumas as a child and one to help my marriage. I’ve learned to be humble and respectful as I leave more about my behaviors and patterns. I’m an open book and always wore my heart on my sleeve. Thank you for sharing and I appreciate it
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/25 04:59 AM
3

Definitely still in the shock and wtf do I do next. Trying to piece it all together. Been leaning on some friends but hate the fact I keep talking about my shit rn. In the middle of things and not even sure what to focus on. It’s all at once. Figuring out my finances, wife was breadwinner and carried all the benefits. Looking for a new job with benefits. Figuring out a retirement plan with 0 401k. Plus the loss of my wife and best friend. It’s so exhausting.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/25 07:20 PM
3

I right there with you. Going on a month and I just can’t get it together. I try to keep telling myself. “Im gonna be ok” per my councilor. Trying to keep busy and distracted has only helped slightly. I leave a tv on or a radio. Just to feel less lonely I guess. I hope things turn around for you. Take care of yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/25 04:09 PM
5

Not knowing the full story and as an old ass Cub Scout. “Always be prepared”. I remember running into these tough guys and never saying anything and out in public I was like. “ Say what you gotta say.” Be prepared but also, as most situations stand your ground.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/25 06:07 AM
1

I’ve been looking at places and man it seems lonely. The thought of moving into an apt sucks cuz everything is expensive and small, not to mention loud neighbors. I’m looking at houses because at least I’m investing that money (?) but I can’t afford it and not sure if I’ll ever be able to. Tonight we talked about dividing stuff, selling stuff, and the rest in storage until we sell the house. My emotions are all over. Can’t really think about anything else and I hate it.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/25 01:41 AM
2

Well she’s want us to move out and sell the house asap.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/25 05:42 PM
4

I turn 50 this year (25years married) and with be separated soon. High school sweethearts. Two of my biggest fears is not being able to afford living some what comfortable (wife was breadwinner) and being alone. I used to be fine with long periods by my self but now, I hate it. I love to hear the stories of a good way of life after, it gives me hope. I’ve been working out but put more time into it, reconnected with a few good friends to talk to and working on my mental health.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 04:36 AM
10

23 years and she left and came back. We never broke up and just about to celebrate 25 years and she wants out. A lot of the “I don’t know who I am. Everything feels forced.” I kept asking her once we were empty nesters to find a hobby. Besides work. Not to say we don’t have our share of issues. She dismissive avoidant. I have trust issues since she never tells me what’s going on. I’m willing to put in the work. She said she does not.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/25 04:30 PM
1

(I like the tuning story.)I’m not sure what’s next. She wants out and I can’t control that. I can try and listen and give her her space for now. We work on the yard yesterday, it was nice to work together but I can’t help to think we won’t be here next year. I’d love for her to want to work together and see a couple counselor but she seems hesitant. I know either way I need to find out what are the steps and work towards that. It hurts so much.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 03:14 PM
2

I’m trying to see past it and look towards happiness. I have no other family and it’s hard to imagine starting over at 50. I never thought this is where I’d be. I worked so hard for the things we have and the relationship we had over the years. It was so much more than other relationships around us. She was my rock and I feel as if she’s gone now. I don’t have that person to count on in my life especially when I needed it.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/25 03:35 PM
1

I’m trying to figure out what my wife wants out. I don’t believe it’s all my fault but definitely saw some patterns more recently. Most recently she’s been really distant but then it’s good. She said this is the same argument we always have and it usually stems from my insecurities over the years. I ask more questions, inquiring where she going, how come she didn’t call me. I see how it made her feel. But I said you stopped sharing with me. When you use to call and tell me everything. She said y…
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/25 03:30 PM
3

Thank you. Been in shock because I thought things were going way better. Called a buddy to get back to the gym and not sure if was stress but had a mini heart attack last week?? Pain in neck then chest bad. Went into Dr (I normally don’t) they got scared and order test. So I’ve been a little hesitant to get back into my HIIT training. Which I’ve done for a few years, councilor on Tuesday (finally. Took two and a half weeks and is limited under my wife’s insurance) still need to talk to a lawyer.…
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/25 11:58 PM
2

It wild how positive thoughts can drive me.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/25 01:17 AM
3

Good advice. Ima screen shot this. I also shower, do my hair, lotion up. Put on a nice shirt. It makes me feel better and ready for the day. It’s some of those hard days where I just doom scroll and sit around that kill me.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/25 01:16 AM
9

I keep trying to connect with friends that I haven’t talked to in a while and do stuff. I went out to lunch with a good friend and it was cool. It also showed me I have more people that I can count on.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/25 01:15 AM
2

I got one for Xmas. Yes. The sleep tracking is amazing. It shows me my insomnia and tells me when to got to bed.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/25 01:13 AM
3

Thanks everyone for posting and commenting. It helps so much to know I’m not alone and to hear everyone different takes because it make me think of both side. And responding is better than sitting here in my spinning feeling
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/25 12:51 AM
2

I love hearing something like this. I am in for the long haul. I am trying I just want her to do the same and if she can’t, then I need to recognize that this is over. I still hold out. Hope that we can sit down and talk and figure things out and get to the root of our problem which is her communication to me and me not getting diarrhea of the mouth while I open up my heart for understanding, which is why we are here in the first place.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/25 12:49 AM
2

I like that I am not going anywhere as of right now until we know the house is for sale and we are completely done. I’m sleeping in my bed doing the same things. I’ve always done but I’m also being a little more careful on how I act so that this is not used against me.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/25 12:45 AM
2

I keep holding out that something good’s gonna come with this or that we’re gonna rekindle but at the same time I have to protect myself and like you said yes figure out detail details and move on
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/25 12:45 AM
4

She’s not kicking me out but I know to move forward we need to sell the house. I can’t really move before that. Trying to take it one step at a time but as an over thinker. I’m fucked, I’ll never give up. Like you said I made it this far. Loosing my family and best friend years ago, and now this the trauma is just crippling alone.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/25 02:23 PM
3

Yep. That’s all I can do. It’s hard not to be a little co dependent after 25 years of marriage. My friend said I could crash in his basement and I can’t do that to his family, nor would it help my mental health rn.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/25 02:10 PM
5

Thank you. I still love her and it’s a battle to be in love and also have to have you defenses up. I feel like I don’t know what’s she capable of lately. She’s just mean and she has never been like that. To anyone let alone me. It hurts more to see her treat a strangers better. I don’t even know what’s moving forward looks like. I’m taking it day by day but it seems more impossible the more I try and figure it out.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/25 02:07 PM
3

She’s the bread winner and I can’t afford this house on my own. She wants her space but we can’t do much until we sell this one. Honestly it’s to big since our kids moved out. If it was paid off or I could afford it I’d keep it. She said all she wants is her clothes and we split the rest. I feel like I’ll fold and not be able to do it alone. I’m a shell of who I was 2 years ago.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/25 02:03 PM
3

Thank you so much! 🫶
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/25 01:55 PM
1

I know my daughter can’t wait. I feel she is pushing the agenda. A few years back before my daughter kept saying things like mom and I are gonna move Into together. She gonna stay here for a while. Joking. Not including me in much.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/25 03:00 PM
2

I’m so scared of this rn. I just changed jobs and they cut my hours. I was working 35hrs at my last job because I’m not allowed over time, but it was every weekend. I quit with my wife’s encouragement and now I’m fucked. She wants out and I know it’s coming. My friend said since she’s the main bread winner that I should get half and she might have to pay alimony? I’m still scared as hell thinking of the hell I’ll be living the last 20 years of my life.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/25 10:28 PM
3

Sweep the leg Johnny.
/r/PussyPassDenied11/11/20 03:19 PM
20

Now she’s making a movie about robbing people. Oh the irony https://youtu.be/eG1l0fMCFVc
/r/PussyPassDenied18/07/19 04:04 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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