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Capable_Okra Archive

View 9 posts and 558 comments by Capable_Okra on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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71

I don't like confrontation with male strangers/acquaintances so for my own safety I usually come up with a white lie. Or I have a friend arrange to call me at a specific time during the date, and have a code word to say the date is going poorly and then be like omg I have to leave my friend is having an emergency. There's also websites that allow you to pre-schedule a robo call to your phone (just make sure your call volume is turned down so he can't hear the prerecorded message). In the past I'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/21 09:40 PM
117

I recently went on a date w a man who complained that his 9-5 working in tech support left him "no time" to clean or cook and he was considering quitting his job for that reason
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 01:19 PM
41

"Slanging pussy to fuckboys" is my Olympic sport 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 02:47 AM
40

This would almost work if like 3/4 of dudes didn't absolutely thirst after anal sex
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 02:43 AM
83

This is exactly what my covert narcissistic ex used to say. It's a ploy to get you to stroke their egos by telling them why they're so great and worthy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 09:34 PM
39

LOCAL MAN LOVES SOMETHING ABOUT HIS ROMANTIC PARTNER! MORE TOP HEADLINES AT 10!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 02:09 PM
29

I appreciate and agree with this sentiment, but I wanted to pitch in and say this can be especially difficult when you are diagnosed with anxiety and feeling these physiological signs every day. It also makes you trust your intuition less because you have evidence of when it's been a little too trigger-happy before. While it's possible to ameliorate some of the effects of anxiety with therapy and medication, it can still be a constant companion in your life for which there is no "cure." I agree …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 02:06 PM
569

I didn't understand this part... Is that a 12-16 inch waist? Which is... A child? Or clothing size 12-16, which I think would be larger than would generally fit a 5'6"/120lb woman? He's literally spitting nonsense
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 06:37 PM
74

It's like they see the "hot singles in your area are looking for YOU!" ads and take them seriously
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 03:34 PM
19

Idk if this helps and forgive me if this has already occurred to you, but I send my rejection text and then IMMEDIATELY block their number and block them on the dating app (if applicable). Some guys I'll even block on LinkedIn or Facebook (even if we aren't friends/connected). I just block them so there's absolutely no chance I'll have to see their nasty response or retaliation. Then you can just work on managing your own bad feelings about the situation but not also be sitting there worrying if…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 02:05 AM
13

Why isn't this mutual friend talking the guy into asking you out? Why is the onus on you?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 06:59 PM
23

I don't think we should be posting these kinds of private messages on the subreddit. We're just giving them a platform and stoking outrage which is exactly what they want.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 01:27 PM
25

It's a race to the bottom
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 06:04 PM
12

My ex used to do this thing when his male friends would call women "girls" - he would make subtle comments like "oh huh, you're trying to date a girl.. Seems a little young for you, but okay" or "wow, a girl is working in your office, you'd think that would be illegal" His friends never caught on, they just kept plowing on with whatever self-important monologue
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 05:36 PM
246

His penis's name? Nikola Tesla.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 12:30 AM
14

Just went through this, so hugs to you. I listed a few things I've done that were helpful, but remember the most important thing is nothing is gonna be a silver bullet that takes away all the pain. You've gotta get THROUGH this, not "over" it. So there's gonna be a lot of tough days and part of you will need to just accept that fact and focus on surviving the worst minutes/hours/days before you can see the big picture. Honestly, treat it like grieving (or complicated/complex grief) and follow so…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 05:19 PM
87

Why did you even respond after he dropped that line?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 02:01 AM
31

Don't judge yourself. We learn from experience, and you learned - you now have a new rule/boundary. So it sucks we need to sometimes experience this shit firsthand for it to stick, but hopefully you are less tolerant of time-wasters in the future 💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 12:48 AM
89

EXACTLY. Would we accept this kind of interaction with friends? Generally no. And same, I don't get ready for a date and I make other plans unless he chooses a date, time, location, and confirms beforehand. What's funny is he acted all eager to ask me out, but then he suddenly couldn't commit to a date/time. My instinct told me to block him the moment he starred getting flakey, but I tried to be open-minded... Look where it got me 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 12:45 AM
268

Good!! Tonight I had plans with a guy who had asked ME out but then was dicey about actually making plans. He agreed to tonight at 7pm but I never heard from him about location so I wrote it off and forgot about it. 7:10 rolls around and he texts me saying "7pm is not gonna work for me 😞" Like, what even is that?? Thanks for the reminder to block you, dude!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 12:35 AM
59

I think divorce registries should be a thing. Most couples in the US live together before marriage now so they're likely to have all the home items they need. But a divorce can be so costly AND you're dividing up your belongings in the split. So you're more likely to actually need items that would be on a wedding registry! Can we get rid of wedding registries and make them divorce registries instead?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 09:17 PM
126

Every descriptor of women has become a porn category
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 12:52 AM
84

Men don't understand the concept of a non-apologetic "sorry". Using "sorry" as a social lubricant is something we should only do among women (if at all). Men will ALWAYS take it as supplication and weakness, because they only apologize when they're 100% convinced they've done something wrong, and there's a study showing they rarely think they've done anything that warrants an apology. Save your apologies for women who understand the finer points of social interactions and relationship building.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 09:25 PM
19

Lmao this is literally every interaction I had on Online Dating. It's like they all study from the same stupid book.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 09:21 PM
13

YOU DID THE RIGHT THING!! My ex was a pathological liar like this - it does not get better. Congrats on getting out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 09:17 PM
35

Sorry but that post makes a big point about the woman touching herself and getting herself off during sex. If I am just going to end up touching myself then I'd rather do that alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 12:02 AM
3

I read the same article - a lot is thrown around about how you can just freeze your eggs and have babies at your convenience, but the truth is that many times those eggs aren't viable and there's a lot less success with this procedure than pop culture has us believe
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 04:08 PM
8

Thanks for this thoughtful discussion. I'm in agreement with you. I dated a guy who "knew" I was the one very early on and it creeped me out because I didn't feel that way about him. Now I'm dating a guy who is more similar to me in that he is thoughtful and pragmatic. He isn't the type to "know" immediately, but he told me a person should "know" by the first year of the relationship. I think that's more realistic, even though it's against FDS dogma. Marriage is the biggest decision you'll make …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 02:03 PM
38

This is obviously satire. Let's not make fools of ourselves by posting satirical tiktoks on here and calling them real.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 01:23 AM
28

What's that nail polish color though?! I need it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 04:54 PM
83

Some women prefer shorter guys. The important thing is that we allow ourselves to have preferences!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 01:40 AM
9

I know this whole video is ratchet but I love the reasoning "idk.. She's just so naked" lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 03:03 PM
7

I think the most important part is that you and your partner are both comfortable with the amount you communicate. I had a few conversations w my current guy where we checked in on "do we feel comfortable w the amount we text, do you need more or less" just to get an idea of what our needs are
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 03:00 PM
3

Omg hay neighbor, come visit sometime! 😁 Ahh a baking schedule sounds SO helpful! I'll check out the sourdough subreddit, too. The King Arthur Flour website has been my bible lately but it's good to have multiple sources.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 11:01 PM
1

Nice, I love creme brulee too. Do you have a torch?? I was going to try the Chef Steps creme brulee recipe but do it in a bag, and then fill it into a pie shell and make a fruit "tart" because I have a homemade pie crust in my freezer. I'm in Delaware, how about you? I just got a starter about a week ago! Very late to the game, haha. I am just absorbing all the information and literally am letting my dough bulk ferment right now. What have been your favorite resources for learning about bread ba…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 06:55 PM
2

I will definitely give it a try. Did you make the custard using sous vide as well? That's a huge reason why I wanted one and I haven't tried it yet. BTW not to be a total creep but I stalked your post history and we would DEFINITELY be friends. I need sourdough tips lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 05:30 PM
1

You dry aged your own beef? Hello new BFF 🤩 Huh, I had no idea you could do cruciferous vegs in the sous vide. I will have to try that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 03:12 PM
13

Why didn't you just block him?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 01:30 PM
1

From one cook to another - sous vide broccoli?? I just got a joule and I'm curious. Not sous vide prime rib? Looks amazing. I love charring my broccoli so I'm very curious what a sous vide does for it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 01:21 PM
3

That's how prime rib is supposed to look 😋
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 01:20 PM
36

ITs JuSt A JoKe
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 03:49 PM
76

"Build him up!" "wait, you aren't supposed to date men with money!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 09:31 PM
23

Shine theory - thanks for introducing me to that. We should be spreading the message that we need to build up other WOMEN, not men!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 08:02 PM
3

Adding onto this - there are psych studies that show that when someone does a small favor for you, it actually makes them like you MORE
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 05:32 PM
53

Honestly I never thought about it that way until you said that. I am 30 god damn years old and I still feel a bit too self conscious about my vulva to enjoy oral sex. And yet let me tell you how many smelly, unclean dicks have been proudly presented to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 09:27 PM
9

This woman wins pickme of the year. Count all the boys in her replies saying "lol wanna date"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 08:31 PM
3

Everyone just go to their profile and block this account so they can't harass you. From their comment history it's clear they are complete scum and not even worth interacting with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 04:03 PM
3

ThenPerishObama.jpeg
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 11:04 PM
50

The whole rating system is a way for the MRAs to convince themselves their way is "scientific and logical." It's 100% bullshit and we should not stoop to their level by even engaging with the idea that there's some objective 1-10 scale for attractiveness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 05:36 PM
4

Is it self awareness if you feel so entitled to women that you literally can't deal with the fact that you can't "have" one?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 03:46 AM
6

Why do men feel like sex is a need? Because they lack true intimacy in their lives since they won't share their feelings with friends and family. So sexual intimacy is all that feels "acceptable" to them and therefore they think sex is a need when in fact they're just starved for real relationships in their lives. Relationships are a human need, not sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 05:37 PM
18

YES I saw this yesterday on r/totalpieceofshit or whatever that subreddit is. Funny how whenever these stories are posted you see men RAGING and yet they can't seem to muster the same energy when actual assault occurs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 04:40 PM
25

This is the energy we all need to have
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 01:52 PM
7

Oh my god thanks for posting this. I saw this photo today and read the whole article waiting for them to tear into him for looking like that and having the audacity to date a 23 year old. Nothing!! Of course, only women are held accountable for our appearance in the media.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 08:43 PM
11

This reads like copypasta
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 01:57 AM
4

Sorry, this is not the sub for asking advice on 2nd chances with fuckbois you don't trust. Try r/relationship_advice
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 11:11 AM
1

Why would you even want to be friends with someone you can't trust?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 11:10 AM
101

This is sooo lovely! And thank you for proving a point!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 12:21 AM
1

Lol I love this show. It's Reality TV. They literally cast people by finding them on Instagram. The producers intentionally mismatch people for drama. They edit the crap out of it so we get our villains and victims. The bad couples remind remind me of the kinds of behavior I won't tolerate in a relationship, and the good couples remind me it may still be possible to find love.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 07:51 PM
10

Tbh this is probably just some depraved guy playing out his cucking fantasy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 01:18 PM
25

This happened to me. I live on my own in a nice apartment. I was dating a 30 year old dude who literally lived in his mom's basement. He stayed at my place for most of the week and talked all the time about how nice my place was, how he could concentrate on work better, felt more at peace. And he knew it was because his alternative was a dingy windowless basement, and yet it never motivated him to get out of the basement. He could just leech off of me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 01:17 PM
17

You don't need to accept this kind of behavior in order to have male friends - or friends of any gender.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 08:06 PM
14

No. Bumble hides your account from others if you're inactive for a few weeks. I know this because it's happened to me several times this year.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 04:18 PM
74

90% of them complain about how much "work" sex is for them anyway
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 05:02 PM
65

This phrase makes me gag and idk exactly why. It's just so.. Animalistic? It is so disgusting, it makes me not want to touch a man ever again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 04:00 PM
87

"with the girl"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 12:01 PM
20

Can confirm. I dated a "CTO" of a 4-person, unprofitable "startup". He lived in his parents basement. And I know every startup takes some time to get off the ground but they had been unprofitable for 6 years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 05:31 PM
21

Chatting on Hinge is absolutely no way to determine if a guy is a HVM. That's the kind of thing you don't know for a few weeks, if not months of dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 05:30 PM
73

"a bunch of bullshit arguments that come whenever I'm honest and truthful with my statements" lmao he means "people hold me accountable for being a jerk and now my fee-fees are hurt"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 01:50 PM
7

Of course they fucking don't
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 03:46 AM
30

That's because it's not even a sexual thing for them anymore. It's about power. They get off on pushing women's boundaries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 03:30 PM
24

Yet if you posted "most women don't like your pube beards" you'd be trashed to oblivion...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 08:21 PM
6

One of the replies to that tweet is a man saying "men don't apologize because a woman had unspoken expectations that we didn't know about, and therefore we did nothing wrong so no need to apologize" This is the most telling response. Men simply don't think they've done anything wrong most of the time (this is backed by scientific research). Women are more likely to apologize even if we felt justified in our behavior, because we understand that hurting someone else's feelings - even if unintentio…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 05:25 PM
4

This is a troll account. Report and block.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 07:16 PM
50

So he can groom her and convince her that being in pain is hot
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 06:41 PM
30

This is totally a way for them to ask for pics to "prove" yourself. Good riddance
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 01:38 AM
9

To be fair, being some guys girlfriend is most of the time an unpaid job for many women!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 12:00 AM
73

For real, why do men think that having hot women in their profiles will make women swipe on them?? I see women telling men everywhere that having a woman on your profile is a big no-no, and yet as always, men assume that they know better, don't believe what women say, and assume everyone else thinks the same way they do so how could they possibly be wrong
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 11:59 PM
70

Read the handbook. You won't make this mistake again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 05:14 PM
15

My fave part of this is how he offers this to you like you should be grateful, like you were out looking for this! Wtf. Disgusted but not surprised. The worst part of porn sick men is that they assume everyone else's brains work like theirs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 04:57 PM
253

This is why we don't cook for men. Because they'll gladly accept whatever you do for them and fuck you while having no feelings for you whatsoever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 06:50 PM
15

I can vouch for this. He will not put in the work. Spend your money on therapy for yourself instead and work on getting out of that relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 05:33 PM
121

This checks out. Snaps under too much stress, eventually gets crusty and dried up...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 05:51 PM
68

Yeah she's not like those other insane, unreasonable women who expect to actually enjoy themselves during sex! 🙄 /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 03:07 PM
71

Yeah, what are the benefits here??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 03:04 PM
97

Isn't it insane that men can get off when they KNOW their partner isn't into it? Raise your hand if you've ever had sex with a guy when he knew you were reluctant or not enjoying yourself. Explains a lot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 01:12 AM
32

This is such a funny line to me and I avoid it too. Like of course I take myself seriously! If I don't, who will??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 12:47 AM
5

The biggest red flag here for me is that he was LYING to you. I dated a liar for 4 years, I finally got him to go to therapy and even couples counseling. I thought things were getting better and we were about to get engaged... And then I found out he had still been lying to me that whole time. He was even lying that "things were getting better." My advice to you is to end things. Liars lie because they feel JUSTIFIED doing so. Think about it, we are all taught lying is bad in kindergarten. So th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 06:52 PM
1

I just don't think it's funny to even joke about. Kids deserve respect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 06:42 PM
7

While it's funny to think about getting back at an ex, I don't think we should condone using kids as tools for revenge. They are her children too, and why would she want to feed them a bunch of junk food if that's not how she would normally care for them? Kids should never get in the middle of a parental dispute.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 06:39 PM
11

Classic. They always say that with no plan on how to afford one. And I can say as someone who was raised by nannies, it does not make for a healthy upbringing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 04:31 PM
39

To be fair I have met my fair share of manchildren who say they want kids. What they really want is a woman to pop out some of their babies to "carry on their legacy" and she does all the childcare while they sit on their asses. I had an ex who thought he could be a stay at home dad while working full time on his startup business, as if childcare is a 1-hr/day occupation. None of them plan for a life with children or have the faintest idea of what kind of work is involved in raising a healthy hu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 04:19 PM
8

I fucking hate this reddit propaganda that men are bumbling idiots who are most often thinking about "which video game character would win in a fight." Try asking them if men are so daft, why is there still a pay gap? Why are more men in government? I thought men were logical and smart??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 11:20 PM
10

I mean, I do think they also seek sex because they crave intimacy and don't feel comfortable seeking it through other avenues (like talking about feelings). It's sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 03:50 PM
19

Because men are socialized to think that having a meaningful relationship with other men is "gay" so they spend most of their lives feeling really lonely because they don't have the connections that humans need. They seek out those connections with women without realizing all they need is a decent friend but god forbid they share their feelings with another guy because "no homo"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 03:37 PM
3

I'd cheer for those brows any day
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 12:20 AM
14

Kuvira was such a boss. Too bad she was also evil
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 10:16 PM
7

Oh my god yes!!! I forgot about that. I had to beg and nag my last 2 exes to trim their beards, meanwhile I was shaving my legs every day!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 10:14 PM
31

Whenever I've been in a long term relationship the men don't even get haircuts anymore. It takes $15 and 15 minutes of their time and yet all they do is whine and complain and procrastinate and look like slobs
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 10:02 PM
2

I would stick to your preference of wanting to talk first before meeting IRL. because your post makes it sound like their time is more valuable than yours. Plus it's a way of weeding out guys who aren't interested in a date unless it could lead to sex. If they can't be bothered to have a video call before a date, which is super normal these days, then they aren't worth you dolling yourself up and driving out to who knows where to listen to them yammer about themselves for an hour.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 08:10 PM
3

The only time I felt excited for a date recently is when we had skyped a couple times before the IRL date and I felt a connection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 08:04 PM
15

Yet he has enough time to send paragraphs on a dating app.... 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 05:59 PM
30

Funny how they are always like "I only trust numbers" and "I need to see the data" and then suddenly the data "doesn't count" when it threatens their toxic masculinity
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 04:14 PM
44

"I'm not ready to settle down, at least not now".... Ah, the ol' "I'm 45 and just decided I want to continue my legacy, time to find a woman to pop out a couple of my children and do all the caretaking"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 12:58 PM
27

Isn't it so inspiring to see women like that? I love having female role models! I am lucky to work with a lot of female executives that I admire.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 02:09 AM
37

The League is a fucking joke. Men literally never message first because they all think they're the prize on there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 12:00 AM
3

This is the goal for sure! I'd rather be single than be someone's unpaid maid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 10:21 PM
3

Thank you! 💗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 06:41 PM
3

Do you remember which video this was in?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 05:52 PM
28

Amazing that I've been going around all this time thinking I was difficult, when I'm actually just competent!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 05:32 PM
74

Why did you even respond? You're just fueling the dumpster fire.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 05:23 PM
15

Yeah I dated a "CTO".... He lived in his mom's basement and had 4 people in his company, which hadn't made a profit since its inception 6 years ago lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 01:25 AM
76

This is fucking beautiful and so well-put. This should be pinned.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 08:37 PM
49

I also swipe left if he: is "fluent in sarcasm" has anything on his profile complaining about people "getting offended easily" wants someone who "doesn't take herself too seriously"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 07:37 PM
8

Disappointed (but not surprised) by my most recent date. We went out on Monday and on Tuesday he asked me if I was free this Saturday...... and after that, silence. If he really wanted my time, he would have secured it. In addition I had told him my cat wasn't doing too well health wise this week and the fact that he hasn't asked about her (well, he hasn't texted at all) shows me he isn't interested. It's annoying because he seemed to be eager to make a 2nd date, but I am sure as hell not 'check…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 06:57 PM
17

It's funny because this is already happening. We have "trash" and "not trash" and it makes them CRYYYYY
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 01:38 PM
9

It's how they convince themselves that PUA is based on "science and logic". Even though attraction absolutely doesn't work like this at all. They think if they ascribe fake numbers to things, it looks more like science and they can convince themselves it's real.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 01:37 PM
30

Holy cow.... This is.... Something
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 11:20 PM
56

How about "if you truly love someone, you won't find it difficult to show them how much they matter to you"?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 11:05 PM
-4

What's the point of this post? Are we now body shaming other women?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 07:11 PM
15

Idk, my ex totally talked "when" and complained when I said "if," and it didn't stop him from bullshitting me. If someone is lying to themselves, they can say anything they want because they believe it. It's really a matter of looking toward their actions and not analyzing their words.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 06:33 PM
8

Idk why but this comment made me laugh most of all
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 01:58 PM
15

I thought it was just me. I tried dating someone I wasn't 100% attracted to and it made everything harder. I was constantly questioning how I felt about him. Didn't help that in addition to his questionable looks, he also still wore the same clothes he had when he was 14 and they were ratty as hell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 01:18 PM
14

Yep they've convinced themselves that women love dad bods and beards and therefore they no longer need to exercise or shave. It's pure laziness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 01:14 PM
36

Agreed. She's only listening to the men in the thread who are telling her she's overreacting. The fact that men are saying "well you guys already had sex, so this should be expected" is EXACTLY why we don't sleep with someone til the 3 month mark. Because most men willingly ignore consent and boundaries, and think that just because you agree to one thing means you open up all the doors to being disrespected and harassed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 10:13 AM
100

"he didn't rape me, so he's a great guy!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 10:00 AM
82

My favorite comment is a dude who says: "You already had sex with him so this is reasonable behavior, he was just a little clumsy. Men have it so hard because we're expected to make the first move." And in the SAME COMMENT he also says "men get a bad rap, we aren't all mindless horny bastards" Sooo...it's "normal" for a guy to say something disgusting like this to a woman he barely knows, but we're also not supposed to label men as pornsick zombies.. Right. This poor woman keeps saying " I think…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 09:58 AM
23

Right???? That's the most appalling thing about this whole interaction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 01:14 AM
5

It's so predictable, sadly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 08:45 PM
126

Same, I totally used to get my dating advice from reddit and therefore was super aggressive and forward with guys. I thought they would love it and think I was special, per all the comments I saw encouraging this behavior on reddit. Turns out I either turned guys off for being too forward, or ended up with men who were only with me out of convenience. Anyway thank you for this post - it's a good reminder for me to not text the guy I'm seeing. He can text me. Edited to add: my patience paid off a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 08:43 PM
17

I don't get this. Isn't your location listed at the bottom of your Bumble profile?? I get asked for my location all the time too, including on Hinge where it's at the TOP of your profile.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 07:06 AM
12

They allllways think it's a misunderstanding
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 02:02 AM
1

Oh god, this is too real 😓
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 12:11 AM
14

Girl you KNOW he's lying. It's not like you're overthinking anything...you already know for a fact he is lying to you. There's no question here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 07:17 PM
13

This is so validating because even as a total outsider, I have no idea how they think they're going to make it work. I've listened to enough stories on NPR and documentaries that make it clear what a difficult way it is to make a living. I'm sorry people think it's just something they can do for funsies or in their retirement. And it's always always the doughy couch creatures who think they're going to pull it off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 06:46 PM
30

It's almost insulting to actual farmers, like they think running a farm is easy! I wish I had the confidence of a mediocre white male.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 06:33 PM
32

Omg, thank you, I thought I was going crazy because I keep encountering the farm guys. I also see a lot of men say they want to "retire on a farm." I really don't get that one... These men think they're going to live a life on a steady diet of beer & Chipotle, and then have the physical ability to run a farm at age 70? The moment I see "retire on a farm" I swipe left lol. It's the perfect way of telling me you're an impractical dreamer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 06:26 PM
43

Piggybacking on this to say a good tip I learned from therapy is to notice when the thought comes up, thank your brain for its attempt to protect you (because that's what it's trying to do - remind you of your mistakes so you don't repeat them) and then remind yourself you're better and smarter now. And then focus your mind on something else or the activity you're currently doing. You may have to do it a million times in a row but you'll get better and better at it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 06:09 PM
12

And yet they think they're all the special exception and they're gonna make it big and have it all. Meanwhile I'm out here busting my ass just to have a mediocre and comfortable life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 05:26 PM
13

100% this. I'm sorry they're wasting your time too. Their audacity to think they can just waste someone else's life makes me rage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 05:09 PM
31

Yes, I learned this the hard way!! It sucks because I'm only swiping right on guys who appear to have a good stable white collar job, and then they hit me with the "I'm quitting my job to start a farm" later on in the conversation. I'm incredibly practical and have built a life to support my dream of having a partner, house, and family. It makes me mad that I keep encountering men who think that stuff will just happen to them with zero planning on their part.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 05:08 PM
12

I have a lot of similar regrets about my last relationship, but I know that if I hadn't gone through that, I wouldn't have found FDS and would have kept making the same mistakes over and over. So in a way I had to go through that situation to become who I am now and break the cycle. I think about who I was and my behavior when I started dating my ex, and compare it to how I am today and am certain I will not make the same mistakes. It sucks and I'm angry about the lost time and money, but some o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 04:51 PM
3

Why not just block them?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 04:33 PM
73

Things that never happened. Every single time a man has comforted me, cuddled me, or given me a massage, he has expected sex in return.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 02:47 PM
10

Don't want to give a woman the wrong idea by writing in full sentences or anything - she might go crazy and try to baby trap him! /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 03:03 PM
25

I don't think we should even post shit like this here because it's exactly what they want
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 01:43 PM
2

Lmao I just peeped the watermark and it says RATIONALMALE hahahahhaha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 06:09 PM
7

Thank you for reminding me why I'm only subscribed to like 4 subreddits lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 04:27 PM
10

Good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 04:15 PM
30

This shit makes me laugh so hard. They literally made up numbers and put it on a graph and called it "science". Men love calling themselves the "rational and logical" sex because of shit like this...and it's literally their own fantasy that someone cobbled together in excel. It's no better than fanfic. Same reason they ascribe the 1-10 rating system to women. It's how they trick themselves into thinking TRP is based on "science" and "facts" and sell their snake oil bullshit to poor sad men with …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 08:19 AM
19

Next time don't send a guy paragraphs in the first place. It's over explaining to a guy who is just going to deny, gaslight, and make up excuses. Block and delete once you get the urge to write novels to him because that should be a sign to YOU that you're not feeling understood and taken care of, and writing long texts that he's not going to read or respond to is a losing game.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 08:16 AM
19

I mean I'm not gonna waste my time by coming onto this sub and debating every point in the handbook, because it makes excellent points and the bottom line is to see your own value and understand that you deserve to be treated well. I can quietly live my life in a way that works for me while taking what benefits me from FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 06:32 PM
61

I personally love FDS but I don't take it as a bible. I generally use it to improve my life and maintain my standards. The biggest thing I take from it is to ditch a guy as soon as he crosses a boundary or detracts from my life. It's also helped me greatly come to terms with being single and seeing that as a huge improvement from being stuck with a LVM. One thing I don't strictly stick to is the dinner date thing. Certainly I wish men would ask me on dinner dates, but given that my country has d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 06:26 PM
16

Cool, we definitely needed yet another male voice making it sound normal to pressure women into sex acts that make them uncomfortable
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 05:44 PM
15

I thought it was like the Good Guy Greg meme and was wondering if this guy had his bio from 2015 lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 05:31 PM
12

My old cat was really sick and in the hospital for a week, and whenever I told him about it he kept saying really dumb shit like "hopefully it's just old age and nothing too serious."... Bitch she was in critical care, of course it was serious. Every response to my very trying situation started with "hopefully [insert unrealistic optimistic thought here]". The final straw was when my car got hit in a parking lot a week later and his response was "well the silver lining is now you know how to fil…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 05:22 PM
19

Thank you! Wtf is up with this? We should not be championing witty comebacks. There is no winning when you argue with a LVM. Blocking & deleting is the only way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 06:25 PM
10

Holy crap where was this during before my last relationship? I need this framed on my wall!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 02:03 AM
33

The other thing they love saying is that women just chat with men on online dating for the ego boost (with no intention of actually dating). Sorry but it is actually an insult to my self confidence when someone way below my league "likes" me on those apps.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 02:01 AM
29

I love "one of the reasons I'm gay" as if I could put together a well-reasoned PowerPoint presentation to make me not attracted to dick
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 09:50 PM
60

What really drove this home for me is my best friend. She is truly a dream woman - gorgeous, sexy, emotionally intelligent but not very emotional, rational, smart, amazing cook, domestic, stable career, well educated, feminine, always caters to her partners' likes and dislikes etc etc etc. She was actually into red pill women for a while so she was doing all of this while letting the man feel like he ran the show. I've watched her date down in every respect - those men are lucky to have her and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 02:31 AM
122

I can't tell you how many relationships I've stayed in way too long because I kept trying to communicate... And when it didn't work, I just thought I wasn't communicating properly. And the men told me I wasn't communicating properly. I have been going to therapy for the last 10 years.. There is no way I don't know how to communicate by now. But we're fed this dangerous idea that we just need to communicate better instead of finding a partner who actually LISTENS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 07:54 PM
21

Lmao I love this. It is so telling of their OWN lack of standards. They can't comprehend that you would turn down ANY dick no matter who it's attached to, because they'd fuck a hot pocket if they weren't too lazy to microwave it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 05:30 PM
61

Whenever one of these threads pops up, the top answer is always "I hate when women play dumb. I like a smart woman" Who tf plays dumb anymore? Are women really still out there pretending to be stupid? Because I've never met a single one who does that in the company of men Hahahahhaha. They like a smart woman until she's smarter than them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 01:14 AM
25

"but you like doing it" "but you care about it more" The list of how they justify it to themselves goes on and on
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 01:07 AM
62

I want kids, but having them with a LVM would definitely be a fate worse than not having them at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 01:04 AM
6

A guy who literally lived in his parents basement with tens of thousands in debt and no income did the same. They're really all out there drinking the same Kool-aid, it's hilarious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 08:18 PM
6

Yes, and yet they've all separately expressed their worries about me being a gold digger lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 08:15 PM
2

How do you phrase this to men?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 04:05 PM
48

$100 says there isn't a second woman - he's just dangling that to try and get you to compete with this made up person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 04:36 PM
2

I like Hinge because you can remove people from your stack of cards that you swipe through. Whenever I see someone dusty, I tap the 3 dots in the upper right corner and click "remove." and supposedly the app won't show them to you again. Also if you narrow your location preferences down to 1 mile, swipe thru everyone in that stack, then widen your preferences again, you'll be presented with better options. Idk why but something is funny with the alogirthm where after a while it just shows you th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 02:19 AM
6

Sooo well-put!!! Exactly this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 01:35 AM
11

Agreed. This guy was worse in a way, because he had a "startup" that hadn't been profitable in the 7 years he was involved. He was tens of thousands of dollars in debt and living in his parents basement. But since he had a company with his name on it, he could convince himself that he was gonna make it big one day. As long as his company had 1 gig booked for the whole year, he would tell himself he couldn't quit yet because they might get more business. And even when the pandemic hit and his pro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 09:38 PM
27

From the first date, he talked about all the things he wanted to do and accomplish. I got really swept up into his self narrative where he had all these ambitions and plans. I mistook his potential for a man with "goals and ambitions." He was also very into me early on and eager for commitment, and I had ever had that in any relationship so it was refreshing. In the end he was just a loser who hadn't actually accomplished anything and likely never will because he will always blame others for his…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 09:28 PM
11

So glad "makes me want to be a better person" is being recognized more and more for what it is. Ladies, this is a huge red flag always. Most people cannot be extrinsically motivated for long periods. If he doesn't want to be a better man without you, then he's just going to see you as a nag. I have been with men like this and they just grew to resent me for expecting anything of them. I never see women looking for a man to make them a better person but it is a common refrain with men. Also bewar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 05:54 PM
12

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Men don't question you for the purpose of better understanding you. They do it so they can turn it around on you, argue with you, manipulate you, and gaslight you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 05:48 PM
3

Omg I had no idea that was a thing. Definitely explains my ex!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 02:06 AM
12

But like, god help a high net worth woman who wants to find a man of the same status. Still labeled gold diggers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 01:51 AM
8

Haha iT's JusT a JoKe
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 01:49 AM
10

I'm sorry you can't show what you're passionate about on your dating profile due to disgusting men!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 01:48 AM
42

EVERY DAMN TIME. I was dating a guy who works in my office and one day I brought up our mutual friend in the context of telling him how much I admire her, and he blurts out "she's got a big butt". I was so appalled, and I told him I don't date people who feel entitled to comment on women's bodies and he had the nerve to say "I wasn't trying to be mean, I hope you don't think I'm an asshole" and like... YES of course I think you're an asshole, dude!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 01:47 AM
12

Idk if it's just your age - men are all like that regardless of how well off they are. I have dated someone with a butt load of money and he was so afraid of gold diggers even though I have the same net worth as him. And I also dated an incredibly broke guy who was working on a "startup" and was worried that someone would only like him for his money/success when he had neither. They all buy into this myth that women are only attracted to men if they have money, because they can't fathom the idea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 01:01 AM
51

Yep. Once a man starts questioning your boundaries or reasoning, it's time to move on. They rarely ask out of curiosity or to understand you better.. It's pretty much always so they can challenge you, gaslight you, and manipulate you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 08:09 PM
1

I can't find the article unfortunately!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 08:08 PM
9

Does anyone have covid self date ideas? I need some things to look forward to in the immediate future. My list of post-covid activities is so long but I want things I can try in the current world we live in. Thanks! ☺️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 02:46 PM
38

Plus the assumption she hasn't confronted him about this Men will never believe women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 05:38 PM
36

And this post shows that if he even asks for one, he already has someone lined up at that point
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 05:09 PM
9

Ahh the classic "age: 30 / wants kids: someday"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 05:07 PM
48

Love it. Whenever women have kids out of wedlock it's "well you shouldn't have sex if you're not ready for the consequences!" but when men do it, it's "child support payments are UNFAIR and all women are golddiggers!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 01:07 PM
23

I would never tell my best friend that they disgust me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 05:08 PM
21

Isn't it sad? He has a living breathing caring wife, and yet he needs to escape into a fake world and knowingly hurt his wife for his sad little penis
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 11:28 PM
13

No most people do not write like this, thankfully!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 08:58 PM
11

I'm waiting for a discount offer. Once I finished the questionnaire it was fairly accurate except for one thing where I remembered answering the question wrong. My friend met her fiance on there and I just am ready to meet someone serious about dating because I have had no luck finding someone like that on the other apps.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 07:09 PM
27

This is the biggest one for me - and "I don't take life too seriously". What the hell does it mean? Yes I take myself and my life seriously.. You think this is all a joke?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 01:00 PM
21

"Looking for friends" = I put this here so I can gaslight my wife/gf when she finds my online dating profile
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 12:59 PM
14

I love you guys!!! This subreddit is the first time I've felt like I had a safe spot on the internet. Thank you for all of your hard work mods!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 12:45 PM
12

The handbook outlines how to keep a man interested while in a relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 03:45 AM
15

/r/femalelevelupstrategy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 03:43 AM
59

Typical love bombing followed by controlling behavior. This guy is an abuser. He's making your head spin on purpose. Beware.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 02:44 AM
8

Why are you getting emotionally involved with someone when you aren't ready for a relationship?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 02:42 AM
66

Do you really want to be with someone who you have to convince to propose? I have BEEN THERE (years of arguing about it, couples counseling, etc) and the guy ultimately started ring shopping, but then admitted in couples therapy that he only did it because he felt pressured, and he resented me for it. Do you want to be with someone who reluctantly enters into a legal agreement that binds you for life... Or do you want to give yourself the chance to find someone who is ecstatic to have you as the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 02:37 AM
8

Give yourself a time limit for using the app. Maybe limit it to 1-2 hrs a day. There are apps you can download (or it's baked into some UIs) that will stop your app use after you hit a specified limit. Only engage with up to 9 people at a time. Don't engage with other matches until you have a "vacancy" in that roster. The 9 is because I read an article that interviewed a psychologist who suggested we limit our matches to 9 people at a time to avoid the way these apps play our brains.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 02:31 AM
11

You're missing what you thought you had with him. You said it yourself - he didn't treat you the way you deserve. Imagine how you'd feel telling the story in 5 years when you're more mature... Would you feel like you had any dignity saying "this guy left me on read for days, but I crawled back to him just to be treated the same way"? Don't give a guy a 2nd chance when he ONLY makes a change in behavior after losing you. Because it means he's going to get complacent once he wins you back and do t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 02:13 AM
3

I actually just got a Google voice # today! I'm still not gonna give it out til I meet up with a person, but now I have a "burner number" to use for dates that don't turn into a relationship, just in case bitter men decide to retaliate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 01:43 AM
3

Yeah, it's expected when it comes from men, and downright disappointing when it comes from other women
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 08:42 PM
4

THIS. my favorite thing is a guy who constantly checks his phone during your date and yet takes days to respond to your texts. As always, the trash takes itself out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 07:14 PM
18

Question for all: how do gym acquaintances actually work? Do you meet them in classes? Every time I have joined a gym, no one has ever struck up a conversation with me. And I have done weightlifting (mostly male space where you do have to interact sometimes to ask if someone is done using a machine).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 06:14 PM
58

I can't tell you how often I get this exact line - "I'm not on this app much, heres my number if you ever want to hang out" and then they disappear forever. These days it's an immediate nope from me. Anyone can get app notifications if they want to, or check the app if they're really interested in someone. And if he wanted to schedule a date with you, he would. I know you know this, it's just bullshit and I wanted you to know this is super common. It's the predecessor to "I'm not looking for com…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 03:19 PM
74

"Loyal" = puts up with his bullshit no matter how bad it gets, including when he cheats // OR, he's controlling and won't let you have male friends
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 02:44 PM
3

Why did you respond to him? The moment I see a message or chat invite I block and delete. You know you're not gonna get anywhere with these fools. There's no argument in the world that trumps "but muh penis." Block, delete, and move on. Engaging with trolls goes against the fundamentals of FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 02:12 PM
7

It is when they have no other close relationships and don't know how to feel intimacy in other ways
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 11:34 AM
16

Exactly. I'm seeing too many posts on here that are outlining "red flag #1, red flag #2, red flag #3..." and I'm sorry but we need to stop giving men the benefit of the doubt. I see too many people give men excuses when you won't even give yourself the same treatment!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 09:48 AM
15

That's funny, I thought the male reddit popular opinion was "hur durr men's brains are empty 99% of the time, we don't have emotions we're just imagining whether a T-Rex would win in a fight against a Megazord" so they can get themselves off the hook for any kind of thoughtful emotional discussion
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 09:45 AM
19

Stopped using it because men swipe right on every single woman and then just don't respond to messages. In fact I'm finding this on every platform - men will swipe right on anyone and everyone and may respond to my first couple messages for the ego boost, but there's just no way to tell if they're interested because their main priority is "keeping their options open" so they're more likely to get sex from one of their matches (doesn't matter who, as long as it's a warm body to put their penis in…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 09:30 AM
27

Sometimes I fret about this but then I remember if he couldn't change for me after all we went through, he certainly isn't changing for anyone else. Plus most men will just go through the motions and do the bare minimum to keep you around. They're not invested in making actual change in themselves unless they wanted to from the beginning, and even that's not likely because men are raised to be complacent with themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 09:23 AM
29

A neg
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 01:52 AM
112

Men find blowjobs erotic due to the degradation of women factor Edit for male lurkers: if that's not true then explain the prevalence of porn featuring a woman choking, gagging, or crying while she gives a blowjob
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 12:48 AM
13

It's funny bc white men are the fucking champions of saying "why isn't anyone pointing out the fact that bLaCk PeOpLe commit all the crimes" and refuse to acknowledge any context or history of crime statistics, and yet when we point out that THE VAST MAJORITY OF VIOLENT CRIMES ARE COMMITTED BY MEN we get #notallmen'd and a big sob story about how men are victims of modern society
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 04:43 PM
17

Very nice. And definitely a good indicator because it's a situation where he has to be selfless and many men are incapable of that. I got a UTI over new years and my ex whined all night about how he was missing his family's new years party because he had to make the very difficult decision to stay with me for the night.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 04:40 PM
6

/r/rejectedsuitors
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 03:53 AM
65

"going through some stuff personally" = his first choice dumped his ass and now he's backpedalling desperately
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 03:48 AM
24

This is why I don't give anyone my number on online dating. There's just no reason to. If he's serious about dating, he'll check his app for messages. Most of the apps have built in video or phone call features now due to Covid. I don't need to give out a piece of personally identifying information just so the guy can inevitably ask for nudes. Bonus is if a guy acts like he doesn't understand or you're being ridiculous for not giving out your number, you can tell that he's a boundary pusher and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 03:44 AM
61

Hahaaaa he's so bitter, I honestly love to see it. Apparently to him sex isn't something for two individuals to mutually enjoy - it's a transaction, something you give in order to receive a relationship. This is the kind of guy that would be so HURT and APPALLED if you ever accused him of checking out other women or being involved with some girl who is "just a friend". Because how could you ever get the idea that men are only pornsick zombies?? /s Thank you for the entertainment but never let th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 03:36 AM
23

Next time a guy asks to 'reschedule' a video date, I am going to pretend like I want to meet up with him in person instead and then stand him up. I take an hour to get ready for these video calls so if they're gonna waste my time, I am gonna waste theirs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 02:09 AM
75

Good luck. Half the men I've asked for video calls need to "reschedule" last minute including the one yesterday who asked me to reschedule 5 minutes after the call was supposed to start. They have zero respect, especially when they can't get sex out of the situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 11:38 PM
103

More like he knows the bar for men is so low it's in hell, and he's trying to bank on that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 09:00 PM
5

The handbook isn't a bible - you get to determine what high effort gestures mean to you! But the most important thing is the knowledge that you DESERVE to be treated well. You can decide what is meaningful to you, as long as that doesn't involve lowering your standards or telling yourself you only deserve the bare minimum. Every woman on here is a beautiful individual and we should celebrate our differences.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 08:42 PM
20

Lol they're visual creatures until it's time to recognize their messy living spaces... Suddenly they "don't notice"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 01:29 PM
22

My god I can't upvote this enough. It's so true, the moment you throw this back at them they're appalled that we think all men are sex-obsessed zombies. And then they cry about how no one takes men's mental health seriously.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 01:27 PM
26

Oh good, haha. I was about to send in the FDS swat team on you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 01:18 PM
16

This sounds like low self esteem on your part
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 01:14 PM
22

Agreed. Do you want to be with someone who treats you well all the time? Or only treats you well after you've kicked him out? Speaking from experience, he'll only grow complacent after he "wins you back" and you'll be stuck in the cycle again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 01:13 PM
65

Not sure if this is your screenshot but the issue here is the woman is arguing back. Once a man tries to push your boundaries, you block and delete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 01:07 PM
1

Yeah, I love data science too and was sorry to have to unfollow that sub. There's truly no safe spaces on reddit other than FDS. That's so ridiculous... I have never seen a single post on this subreddit that was a woman complaining she can't get a date due to her looks. In fact, it's a common topic on here that you can literally be Beyonce and a LVM still won't treat you well. Men are so good at projecting and blaming others for their issues SMH.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 06:32 PM
2

I had to stop following r/dataisbeautiful because I found it overtly sexist and racist. Glad I stopped following it! Just goes to show that any space on reddit can be misogynistic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 06:13 PM
8

So very true. My friend has cooked every single meal for her husband since they started dating, and she paid for their house by herself. She does all of the grocery shopping by herself. She says she feels confident that he wouldn't leave her because she has increased his quality of life, and yet he can't even be bothered to apologize when he stays up all night playing video games and therefore can't help his wife with errands. He absolutely takes it all for granted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 04:02 PM
35

I saw a tweet (from a woman!) the other day that says playing video games boosts empathy bc you're exploring a world as a different character. I'm sorry but LOL NO. I have played a lot of video games and I have a very imaginative mind, but I've never while playing tried to imagine how the characters feel and put myself in their shoes. Even in an RPG. The only entertainment that has strengthened my capacity for empathy are books and acting in theater.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 03:40 PM
3

Good book!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 12:50 AM
7

Corollary to this - I've often been told by men that I expect "too much" from them. I used to take that really personally and went through a lot of therapy trying to "fix" that part of me. Now I realize it only means I was expecting too much from that particular man. HE was incapable of rising too my level, and therefore I should keep my expectations high and seek elsewhere. If you know what's going to make you happy, don't settle for less just because some dude is too lazy to meet you there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 12:44 AM
78

Frankly I find men to be their own class of brain-eating amoeba
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 12:27 AM
39

Take photos so you get your security deposit back
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 12:06 AM
9

I only use Hinge. I am all about showing rather than telling and I like to use prompts that say a little something about myself while inviting the other person to share info about themselves (not that men ever take the bait lol). So for example if you like cooking, you could invite people to share a recipe with you. Or podcast recommendations. Both show that those are your interests, but they also open up the conversation and don't make it all "me me me." I also have a stupid joke in there to sh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 11:42 PM
8

This subreddit is not about manipulating people. That's for red pill PUA types.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 11:22 PM
25

Yeah I agree with you. The moment they act like my reasonable needs are stupid, they're out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 06:59 PM
53

Love how they always act like we're crazy when we ask for very simple basic things. I get "lol ok" a lot when I set very easy boundaries like "I'd rather not give you my number til we meet up". That "ahahah geez" just makes my blood boil.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 06:47 PM
11

"Watching Netflix" only doesn't mean sex when you're in a committed relationship 😩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 05:06 PM
119

The biggest thing that gets me is he doesn't think it's safe to eat in a restaurant...and yet he is comfortable being in a car with a stranger........... ....... ........ Does he know how covid spreads? Because I'm pretty sure we should all know by now. Had a guy pull this on me too yesterday. "Oh I don't feel comfortable going out yet, but you can come over to my place for Netflix! I promise I don't have covid!" that shit made me rage! Insta blocked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 03:31 AM
9

Wow, he's going to have an interesting time trying to fit in with his social class as a doctor...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 02:53 AM
119

I miss when cuddling meant actually cuddling lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 02:51 AM
1

This is the kind of thing where actions speak louder than words. And what I mean is a guy can talk about how communication and trust are important to him til he's blue in the face. But it will take some time dating him to see just how good he is at communicating. And as far as trust - see if he is reasonably trusting of you, and whether he builds an environment that grows trust in you. People often spew a lot of hot air about their values but you'll find people's actions often don't align with t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 02:43 AM
3

Ask him why it seems like every year his audacity gets 1 size larger
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 02:11 AM
9

Can you get the diamond(s) taken out and have them installed in a new setting of your choice?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 10:30 PM
9

I would snoop just to confirm, but when you find something, don't confront him about it. It only opens you up to potential manipulation and gaslighting by him. If he feels comfortable lying to you then he's definitely not going to care about anything you have to say. If he's lying to you, of course he knows how it would hurt you. So you don't need to tell him because he already knows, and he just doesn't care. Make your exit swift and keep your dignity intact.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 05:38 PM
79

On the contrary, I dated a LVM who dressed impeccably. He spent more time on his hair than I did. He always looked great, but he was a pathological liar. No one believed it because he presented so well. While it's important to me that my partner dresses well and takes care of himself, I no longer see it as a definitive sign of his high value personality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 05:33 PM
2

No, it drives me nuts. I had an ex who wanted me to tell him when I was going to bed so he could text me goodnight. It felt very controlling that he wanted to know when I was going to bed every night. I want to share my life with someone but if we don't live together, they don't need to know when I go to bed and wake up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 04:13 PM
11

Unfortunately I don't think so. I unmatched someone the other day who said the same thing and I wish I had reported him too. But now you know for next time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 03:07 PM
17

Yes, you can report ppl who aren't looking for a serious relationship on Hinge. It's in their terms of service.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 03:05 PM
27

Very good reason to always make them answer that question first!! You did well. Also you can and should report guys looking for fwb on Hinge. It's literally in their terms of service that you can only look for a serious relationship on Hinge. I don't remember the exact process but choose "inappropriate content > inappropriate messages" option when you report them, and then I think it gives an option for "not looking for a relationship." I don't know how effective or immediate this is, but it's s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 03:04 PM
4

"Hey, I'm married right now but it will (probably) end in divorce. If/when that happens, would you be interested in talking?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 02:58 PM
3

Thanks for this 💜 I hope things get better for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 09:36 PM
2

My friend and her partner each have their own bedrooms. They decide when they want to sleep in the same bed. It's definitely harder & more costly to rent a 2 bedroom apartment, but it has been essential to their relationship! Same with my parents, they have been fortunate enough to always have space for their own "offices" in their house.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 07:08 PM
19

Lol I used to say things to my ex when we shared an apartment and he'd ignore me and be like "oh, I didn't realize you were talking to me" ??? WE LIVED ALONE ???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 01:50 PM
3

I totally feel you on the bitterness. It makes me not even want to date some days.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 06:25 PM
3

Most of us have pickme pasts but we're all here to get better!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 06:19 PM
1

Also, if they say they want your number to have a phone call or video call, most of the apps these days have a built in call function due to Covid. Or you can get an app like Telegram that allows phone calls but they don't get to see your number.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 06:16 PM
5

1000x this! Men and women use apologies differently. Women use them as social lubrication. Men only apologize when they absolutely think they did something wrong, and surprise, they rarely ever think they did something wrong (a recent study confirmed this). So when you apologize to men it has a very different effect than when you do so with women. I can't count how many times I threw in a casual "sorry" and a man says "it's okay, I forgive you" like some kind of benevolent God and I'm like wait,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 06:15 PM
2

I do this all the time but I put it more positively: "I'd love to keep our conversation on this app til we meet up if that's okay!" (of course I'm not taking "no it's not OK" for an answer lol. I just say that to appear friendly). It's a fantastic way of testing whether they're actually interested in you and whether they'll respect your boundaries. I've actually never had a guy question it. They either say "oh sure yes" and then disappear completely, or they are accommodating and we continue the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 06:12 PM
31

Yeah my two most recent exes told me they were jealous of the friendships I had in my life. I was always like "you know, I work really hard to maintain these relationships. You have some friends you could spend more time with" or "why don't you text so-and-so to ask how they're doing?" and they would just be like "hmm I dunno, maybe" and never do it. They love acting like victims when it's their own damn fault!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 05:17 PM
3

Lol I have gotten this line too! That I think too quickly for him. He made me feel bad for being smarter than him. So many men shut down when they're called out on shit because they can't even comprehend being argued with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 01:39 PM
6

Also regardless of "who's the prize," don't disrespect yourself by settling for less than what you want. Don't compromise your goals! There are a lot of things that are reasonable to compromise in a relationship but your LIFE GOALS aren't one of them. Don't gamble your future on someone who may never make you his girlfriend - don't kid yourself that he just needs more time or whatever. Knowing you're the prize doesn't mean you're gonna teach him a lesson by withholding or whatever. It means that…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 01:21 PM
28

He can't even commit to the time of a phone call lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 10:00 PM
2

💯💯💯💯💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 06:20 PM
7

"I'm sorry I didn't live up to your expectations" is such a bullshit apology, oh my god it's making me so angry to know he said that to you. That's the kind of statement where you can say GOOD RIDDANCE because it shows exactly how he thinks. It's the perfect passive aggressive way of telling you he thinks it's all your fault for having "expectations," and he thinks those expectations are unreasonable - while also making it look like he's apologizing so you can't object. Good on you for ending it…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 06:19 PM
7

GIRL DON'T DO IT. I dated a guy just like this!! He never apologized because he'd always say "well I didn't mean to hurt you". In his mind, I had no right to be upset with him ever because he didn't intend to upset me. I spent the entire relationship trying to teach him how to apologize. I explained why "it wasn't my intention" made me feel bad, I explained why I needed a real apology, hell I even researched "apology languages" (same BS as Love Languages) and tried to just accept that he couldn'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 06:14 PM
40

Yeah, it was really weird and he never acted embarrassed or like he was aware that it was a weird move to pull. And I had spent weeks texting him about this pot that I wanted and how I was waffling on purchasing it! I totally agree, I'd be super embarrassed to be like "here's this thing we both needed for our apartment... Happy birthday!" Birthdays are about making someone feel special, but he was really incapable of giving gifts that didn't benefit himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 06:09 PM
6

God forbid she got breast cancer or anything
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 05:55 PM
148

Love it. My ex used to constantly buy nice things for himself because he made 5x my salary. In the beginning of our relationship I was truly broke and wishing for this cast iron dutch oven that I couldn't afford, and then he quietly and unapologetically bought one for HIMSELF (we didn't live together at the time). For my birthday he always got me kitchenware that we would both use in our shared apartment. I love cooking but it would have been nice to receive a gift for ME instead of him only spe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 05:49 PM
2

To me it depends how he uses social media. If he posts about every other thing in his life EXCEPT me, then I'm suspicious. But if he hasn't posted on Facebook in a year, then I don't have the same expectations. If he is keeping you a secret from friends and family, then you are a secret. I don't post on Facebook or Instagram, but I still send my family/friends pics and mention my SO in conversations/texts. I dated a guy once for 2 years who refused to tell his friends and family about me because…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 01:43 PM
16

This is because men lack the capacity for empathy, so they can't even comprehend that women could have access to sex but refuse it. Men would fuck a hot pocket and studies have shown that the vast majority of them would say yes to a random woman approaching them on the street and asking to have sex. Men are entirely driven by sex and don't understand that anyone might operate differently. So it's inconceivable to them that women would be voluntarily celibate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 01:40 PM
20

It's funny because this stuff trickles down even to online forums like Reddit. All of the mainstream "female" subreddits are moderated by men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 01:19 PM
169

This is exactly why "communicate with him and let him know he hurt you" does NOT WORK! I've tried it for years in my relationships, thinking that if I just communicated the exact right way or showed him how much he hurt me, he would finally understand and change. I never understood why when a guy told me I hurt his feelings, it motivated me to change but not the other way around.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 01:16 AM
4

Lmao what's a YouTube log?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 04:20 PM
4

Fucking laughed out loud at this, it got 2k upvotes and reddit gold. My god these men have a victim complex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 12:54 PM
7

That's right, time to let this one go. This is your fresh start. Study the handbook and know your worth moving forward. You already know the care you deserve (you called it out in the post), you just need to stop doubting yourself. You can do it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 12:52 PM
4

Lol every single guy on OLD has a dog so the pickings would be even more slim. I'm a cat person and not interested in having a big smelly dog in my bed so I get it, but it's not a deal breaker for me because otherwise there would be NO ONE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 03:59 PM
4

I'm happy if a guy is hot but anyone showing a shirtless pic I assume he's only interested in sex. Same reason I don't have a bikini pic in my profiles.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 03:50 PM
9

Serving "Mindy from Married at First Sight Season 10" realness
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 07:24 PM
59

Right, she gave consent to other men so therefore he automatically gets consent! /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 07:20 PM
5

So true. Back in my pickme days I found out my live-in boyfriend was on online dating sites. He promised to get therapy but he actually just lied about seeing a therapist for 8 months. Even went so far as to fake an email from the "therapist" to support his lie. And he had the audacity to blame me for his lies and complain that I didn't trust him!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 03:30 PM
8

Love that you recognized him!!! 💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 02:14 PM
16

Ah of course, we communicate with them nonstop and yet they "never know" why we left or why we got angry
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 02:12 PM
7

YES. It's hard because asking a guy out gives you a sense of control over the awful dating process, but you hit the nail on the head that men will say "yes" to anyone, even if they aren't interested.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 02:02 PM
7

Yes, back in my pickme days I had sex with 2 guys where I heavily initiated, offering no strings attached sex, and both of them wanted nothing to do with me after sex. One of them couldn't even get hard and flat out told me I came on too strongly. The other one either came prematurely or lost his boner (it was dark, I never knew what happened) and never talked to me again. I was so puzzled because I was following all the Reddit advice of women asking men out, women initiating sex, etc! Now I am …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 01:43 PM
7

Yeah, there's a difference between having to ask your man to do ANYTHING for you, and having a conversation that's like "I really appreciate all you do for me but so you know, I really prefer flowers over chocolates" If you have to ask someone to do the bare minimum, they're not going to do it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 01:32 PM
42

Men: dress up, put on lingerie, send me nudes, suck my dick, cook me dinner, do most of the housework, buy me gifts, put up with my family.... And then maybe I'll consider making you feel more appreciated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 01:30 PM
13

Funny how it's never occurred to men that if they want women to be more "progressive" in a relationship (paying half, working full time), that maybe they should work on making the societal changes that would support and promote such changes. Instead they're complacent declaring "sexism is over" while they split the bill with their wife while expecting her to do 90% of the housework while she works full time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 01:17 PM
27

Sounds like a red pill fanfic where he actually has 2 interested matches
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 01:10 PM
34

Stop following him on social media too. You don't need anyone's permission to move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 08:25 PM
2

I definitely feel this way when I have only gone on a few dates with someone and don't really like them enough yet to put in the emotional effort of keeping up text conversations. But I think it's also possible you might just want a partner who isn't big on texting. There are lots of people like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 03:18 PM
7

It's their issue if they perceive it as rude. You're not unreasonable for setting up boundaries around unwanted romantic/sexual attention. Something I've learned about boundaries is that it's not about changing someone else's behaviors, it's about changing my own responses to that person's behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 02:57 PM
7

Yeah, it's definitely not your fault and I don't think you're flirting or leading anyone on at all! There's no crime in having a lovely personality. It's just crappy that men are more likely to think a woman is flirting with them. Please don't change who you are though. If you're anything like my friend then I am sure you light up any room you step foot in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 02:51 PM
17

My friend has this issue, and I wonder if it's because she is a cheerful, easygoing person who gets along with everyone and is fun to be around. I don't think it's her fault or your fault. I think that bubbly, laid-back personality type attracts married men because they feel "trapped" in their marriages and that fun personality type represents the opposite of all the things they're feeling in their relationships. That is NOT your fault of course, it's the guy's fault for feeling like he's a vict…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 02:47 PM
11

Some of these things are legit accomplishments but saying he traveled to Machu Pichu (along w every other person on OLD) and North Korea are weird things to list as reasons to date him. Like, I have been to Machu Pichu and I don't stare at myself in the mirror every morning telling myself that is gonna make me a great romantic partner some day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 02:33 PM
10

THANK YOU. Men who act like traveling makes them a Good Person are such a turn off. It just means you spend your money on traveling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 02:30 PM
5

That desire is totally valid.. Of course we want to make people feel sorry when they hurt us. Otherwise it just feels awful and makes you doubt your self worth. I just remind myself in these situations that people like him are never going to feel sorry no matter what I say, because they are experts at crafting internal narratives where they're always innocent/the victim. There's nothing you can say that will make him value you more because he doesn't value anyone other than himself and maintaini…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 05:45 PM
41

Yep because men have zero negative social impact from not getting engaged. But everyone looks at the woman and wonders what's wrong with her
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 05:41 PM
12

YES. This is a rapist in waiting, ladies and gentlemen. Pressuring someone to give in is NOT consent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 03:52 PM
10

Literally every single time a man has offered to give me a massage, he tries to turn it into sex. You said it yourself - you don't want to take your shirt off for him. The fact that he argued with you when you said no is a HUGE red flag. You aren't disagreeing about where to go to dinner, he is trying to break down your boundaries over your own body. He is clearly a man who is so steeped in rape culture that he thinks he can turn a firm "no" into a "yes." He absolutely is a creep and has no idea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 03:52 PM
53

Yeah he definitely blamed you for your reaction and there's no way in hell he feels guilty about what he did or he wouldn't be trying to contact you. I'd never have the gall to do that. Don't even give him the time of day, it will honestly be better for your mental health. Just write a nasty note on your phone and never send it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 03:36 AM
154

He is NEVER going to learn, will NEVER change, and will NEVER feel sorry for his actions. I am certain you've expressed your anger and hurt to him before. Don't fall into the mental trap that if you just explain yourself properly he'll finally get it. It only leads to more hurt and disappointment and self doubt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 03:30 AM
6

I am not joking. Too many men believe false rape accusations are a bigger deal than actual rape, and we don't need women agreeing with them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 11:03 PM
21

Please don't further the narrative of false rape statistics.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 08:16 PM
52

I'm not gonna check the post but will just assume this woman is getting slammed in the comments. Why would you ever post an opinion like this on the regular subs? I feel bad for her, she needs to find us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 08:12 PM
27

"I'm not apologizing because I didn't mean to hurt you. My intentions were good."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 10:47 PM
2

So..... You WERE playin!!! 🤔🤔🤯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 07:26 PM
8

Ah the old "get defensive and gaslight" response. Regardless of his "intent," do you really want to even entertain a guy whose immediate reaction to you getting upset is to get defensive and tell you you're wrong? Or someone who doesn't feel the need to apologize for anything because "his intentions were good"? Men can do ANYTHING and think it's fine because they will just tell you their intentions were good. I dated this kind of guy and I do not recommend it. Find someone who wants to impress y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 06:56 PM
9

Omg, I have a line in my Hinge profile asking for podcast recommendations and literally every guy recommends Joe Rogan. Are you kidding me??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 06:50 PM
10

It's always the dudes who think women are just having the fucking time of their lives on OLD. As if we aren't spending years of our lives sifting through these trash heaps.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 06:45 PM
20

This is so spot on that I saved this comment for future reminders to myself
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 06:24 PM
39

This is why I don't feel "okay" with my partner talking about other women he finds hot. They take it as license to put you down. Wanna call me insecure? Fine, enjoy listening to your bf wax poetic about how he wants to fuck the spin instructor that he sees every week and try to reassure yourself that he won't pounce on her the moment he gets an opportunity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 06:22 PM
9

Yep. My ex "loved" how smart I was and yet threw a hissy fit every time we disagreed on something because he thought I was acting like I was smarter than him. Well.. Yeah, I am when I had a much better education than him...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 11:20 AM
51

He gets the best compliments! Nobody gets more compliments than him!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 10:52 AM
2

Oh my GOD hahahaha seriously??? Just wow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 10:36 AM
2

Absolutely. My ex was 5'7" on a good day. I'm 5'6" and even when we were standing next to each other, eye to eye, he would tell me he's 5'9".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 10:47 PM
31

Omg, I thought this was just my partners lol. Men do NOT get regular std tests!! Always ask and ALWAYS get proof. They will lie.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 10:42 PM
41

Where were you when I needed you 1 year ago? Lol this would have saved me from my ex!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 06:25 PM
78

Oh of fucking course it's HIM
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 04:58 PM
2

/u/cartnip linked our post over there. Hello lurkers!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 02:04 PM
12

There is NO reason why you can't buy your girlfriends flowers. Just bring them over to her place when you see her! I did this recently.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 10:10 PM
2

OK thank you, I am on The League and even when I match w someone NONE OF THEM message me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 07:57 PM
25

Idk, fucking at least implies you might get some pleasure from it. This guy just wants a free blowie with no reciprocation. Who could refuse?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 06:18 PM
8

Yeah the fact that he suggests something so disgusting as the first date and then PRESSURES HER after she declines screams rapist to me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 08:26 PM
256

Stop texting him. You are trying to convince him to show that he cares. Just leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 08:17 PM
17

That's exactly why he thinks it's a great idea. He gets to see her almost naked with no effort on his part to entertain or plan anything. He doesn't actually want to get to know her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 08:11 PM
12

"guys who make an effort to meet you" lmao didn't realize the definition of "making an effort" now includes demanding a stranger meet up with you outside with zero notice
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 08:07 PM
17

It's because of the male narrative that women just want to "trap" men and deprive them of playing Peter Pan through their late 30s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 02:26 PM
5

Sure if men took women's pain seriously
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 08:51 PM
2

fuck that, I am an amazing cook AND I can hang up my own shelves in my apartment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 04:16 PM
11

Glad it's not just me! They won't even do a video call.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 09:53 PM
11

So much tranquility in these images 💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 09:37 PM
3

True, a lot of this stuff is second nature to me now but it took a lot of learning from this subreddit! I'm just so disgusted with unpopularopinions. My reddit is a very tailored safe space and I hate being reminded of the fact that I'm in a little island in a cesspool 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 09:33 PM
5

My ex was literally looking for his MacKenzie Bezos or Justine Musk. He was broke, in loads of debt, and living in his parents basement, but had a "startup" that would "surely take off any month now" and he always talked about how he was glad we met before he became rich and famous so he'd know I wasn't just with him for his money lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 05:04 PM
6

Lol! That was my ex. He complained about being broke while doing nothing to remedy the situation, and yet he was able to somehow buy enough weed to smoke all day every day 🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 05:02 PM
8

Can we stop posting BS from r/unpopularopinion? We all know it's just a cesspool of incel misogyny trash. Nothing on there surprises or shocks me anymore, it's REDDIT.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 04:58 PM
11

I get annoyed too, but I literally haven't had a single dude ask me on a "date" on these apps. It's always "meet up", "hang out" or "let's get together next time you're in my part of town". If I wait around for the word "date," I'll be 80 before anyone takes me out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 03:02 PM
7

Ah yes, another misogynistic opinion on r/unpopularopinions that has almost 30k upvotes. Reddit is so predictable. There was just another post like this yesterday or the day before supposedly also coming from "a woman".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 02:40 PM
51

I do, thanks for challenging my negative thinking. I'm just not sure what to do with messages like this. When someone says "you're not worth it to him," my immediate thought is "what's wrong with me that I'm not worth it?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 07:37 PM
44

Yeah TBH I get sad about this too. I feel like if I were just hotter/thinner/prettier, men would feel like I'm worth the effort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 07:30 PM
112

I recently bought my friend flowers after she suffered a miscarriage because I knew her husband wouldn't do anything like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 07:28 PM
14

Isn't it crazy? You think that dating an older guy means he knows what he wants and is ready to settle down - hell, they TELL you they're ready to settle down - and then they turn around and want to act like a 20-something until they're 40.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 07:16 PM
23

Yep, my ex was 35 and "wanted kids someday" and yet also talked about how he didn't want to be older than 40 before having his first kid.... And he had zero time line for getting married or moving out of the city and buying a house. They think they can just get a woman to pop out a baby whenever it suits them. Meanwhile women plan their entire lives around when they're gonna have children. Starting a family should not be an afterthought and yet so many men treat it like it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 05:50 PM
3

Any man that makes things sexual before you've even met IRL will NEVER STOP BEING THAT WAY. Even if you become exclusive with him, you can bet he's gonna be sending the same flirty texts to other women. He's only in it for the sex and ego boost.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 05:36 PM
82

So much clownage going on here.. Including "age: 37 / wants kids: someday"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 05:25 PM
3

YES YOU DO DESERVE THE EFFORT!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 05:06 PM
11

I never give out my number til we meet in person. There's just no reason they need my phone number when the apps provide a perfectly adequate means of communication. Now you can even have phone calls and video calls in the apps (due to Covid) so they really don't need my number for any reason. I also use it as a test to see whether they'll respect my boundaries. It's a pretty quick filter for LVM in that way. Usually a guy will give me his number in the app and say "feel free to text me" and I'l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 04:59 PM
16

Adding onto /u/avoiding_existence 's excellent advice, I would say keep your social/personal life full. Don't clear your calendar for this guy and don't wait by the phone for him to ask you to dinner or whatever. I've personally been the WORST at this and being constantly available for your partner is really a husband privilege. Keep your life full so that this guy doesn't become your whole world - he's just a cherry on top of an otherwise fun and fulfilling life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 04:39 PM
5

I always want them to have a good excuse too. But something I try to remember is "ok what would I do if I liked someone and for some reason had to blow them off for days/weeks?" and I know from experience that I would try to reach that person ASAP to explain and apologize. Last year I was supposed to have a first date and then my grandma suddenly went to the hospital, and I cancelled the date so I could go visit her. I actually called my date to apologize because I really didn't want him to thin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 04:13 PM
23

Unfortunately this is apparently just a male thing - see this article
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 03:27 PM
10

My ex used to express his disapproval over the medications and supplements I take, telling me it's bad to take so many medications, he's worried about me etc... Meanwhile his dusty ass didn't have health insurance and hadn't gone to the doctor in years...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 02:16 PM
102

This was my ex too!! He got so mad any time my feelings were hurt because "he didn't mean to" so therefore I had no right to be upset. So by his logic, he was never responsible for apologizing or changing, because he would say he didn't have bad intentions. Apparently the only time you ever need to apologize or acknowledge someone's feelings is when you are acting maliciously.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 02:08 PM
10

Which video is it? I just scrolled through his YouTube page and couldn't figure out which one it is
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 01:00 AM
12

Sounds like he has a girlfriend or something...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 05:00 PM
29

It's so disrespectful too!! Just because they have nothing going on in their lives and roll out of bed and go to dinner in the same clothes they slept in.. I need to plan my day around when I'm going to wash my hair and do my makeup. They have NO idea (they actually do though, and they think you're just gonna drop everything and get dressed to the nines on their command).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 04:59 PM
32

Had this happen with a guy too. We planned a date last year and minutes before I was about to depart for it, he sends me a video of his car not starting. I am like OK whatever that sucks, and when he doesn't reschedule the date I was like huh that was a pretty stupid lie just to bail on me. We matched again recently and I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt, because he said he never rescheduled because he figured I thought he was lying about his car troubles. I'm like fine, I'll let him…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 05:07 PM
14

Wtf did I just read? I went to couples counseling because my ex had a problem with lying and the therapist focused on how it was all my fault. This guy says therapists never paint women as the villain. Really? Because my ex got all the empathy in the world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 09:15 PM
31

I was the white forever girlfriend lol. Wouldn't be surprised if my ex is now engaged to an Indian girl, he had a serious complex about disappointing his parents.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 05:36 PM
22

They love the "numbers" rating thing because it plays into their "men are logical and unemotional" self-narrative. It allows them to spout their seduction bullshit and make it sound legit because there are numbers, and we all know that numbers =science. Apparently acknowledging that attraction is subjective is for pansies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 02:28 PM
13

SO true - especially men that you're close with (friends and romantic partners). Friends and romantic partners know when you feel uncomfortable saying no, and then they always have plausible deniability because "how could I have known she was uncomfortable?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 02:14 PM
21

How do you not take the bait when they gaslight? In my experience if you disagree when they try to gaslight, it turns into a "that happened/that didn't happen" argument
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 11:14 AM
46

I like the idea of making a statement but... reddit would LOVE for us to leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 06:19 PM
48

Last chance to cheat before they're "locked down"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 04:44 PM
43

Lol I had the same thing happen a few days ago. Was chatting with a guy who lives in a city about an hour away from me. He was like "well if you're ever in [my city] let me know, we can wander around" and I replied "I don't have any plans to be in that city soon, but we can make plans if you'd like" and surprise surprise... Radio silence!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 06:15 PM
39

A big lesson I've learned is that even if it's because they're shy, that just means you're going to end up with someone who is not assertive and doesn't know how to get what he wants. I'm an ambitious, goal-driven person. Why should I settle for someone who is "too shy" to even ask me out on an ONLINE DATING APP? you're gonna end up with someone who is just with you because it's convenient and he's too scared to go after what he really wants. Been there too many times.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 04:23 PM
3

Right? It's like they either completely lack empathy or they decide they can get away with not practicing it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 03:49 PM
8

My ex did something like this and it made me feel the same way - really bad, but also questioning if I had the right to feel that way. I'm super into cooking, and at the time was making VERY little money. I wanted a cast iron Dutch oven (a type of pot) but the one I wanted cost $60 and at my income level I couldn't just drop that kind of money. I was deliberating over it for weeks and kept texting my bf about my decision making process. Finally I settled on a less expensive pot, and didn't end u…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 02:20 PM
18

I really could have used this when I lived in NY. Funny the lengths men will go to avoid touching thighs with another man on the subway, but while sitting next to me they would manspread as if they had a beachball between their legs. And don't get me started with how they will never get out of your way on the sidewalk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 04:47 PM
11

Oh my god, I am so sick of men "looking for a girl who can make me a better person and call me out on my shit"... In my experience they do NOT want that and they will only resent you for being that girl!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 12:26 PM
16

Ah yes, a list of all my ex boyfriends
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 12:15 PM
36

And yet they're all out there begging their women to buy them a PS5...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 10:37 PM
37

Imagine accusing women of being controlled by their hormones, and then asking this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 11:41 PM
3

Very good advice! I love that this sub practices tough love but also encourages kindness to ourselves. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 10:37 PM
6

Ha, I thought the same thing when I read your post. And I am all about Vit C & chemical peels!! I love The Ordinary skincare line for great inexpensive options. We're gonna come out of this quarantine looking 10 years younger :) I'm proud of us for not lowering our standards, too. And for working on ourselves. Cheers!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 09:43 PM
6

I usually can't stand any kind of armchair evolutionary psychology, but I'm all for using this argument against men!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 08:33 PM
8

I'll commiserate with you, lady. I don't have anything in the way of advice because I think you're doing everything right. The dating pool, especially at our age, is terrible! I have the same drive to have a partner and family but I've been going on the dating apps less and less during Covid. I guess it goes in phases, some weeks I'm obsessed and other weeks I don't log in at all. Definitely give yourself breaks like that, it helps. It sucks to be a goal-oriented person who has been able to achi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 08:27 PM
5

Thanks 💜 I wish I had just said no to sex, and accepted him doing me a "favor" (the massage) without feeling the need to compensate him. But he absolutely knew that about me, that I feel obligated to people when they do something nice for me - it was a thing we talked and fought about many times. And he clearly knew I wasn't feeling into having sex because he kept pointing out that I didn't seem into it. And yet he proceeded to do it anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 07:49 PM
13

The very last time I slept with my ex, I was not feeling it but I did it because I felt obligated (he had just given me a massage and was clearly trying to turn me on, even though I had asked for the massage because I was having an anxiety attack). He kept asking me "are you sure you wanna do this?" and I kept saying "yes" even though I didn't because.. You know how it is. It's gross that a man can get off and be into sex when he CLEARLY recognizes you're not that into it. If he even has to ask …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 12:40 PM
5

I dealt with this and wrote a list of all the things from our relationship I'm glad to be rid of (basically everything I disliked about him + things I love about being single) that I'll re-read when I'm feeling particularly lonely. I also remind myself that I'm only thinking about him because I'm feeling lonely (due to Covid isolation) and that I don't necessarily miss him as a person because there were so many things about him that I couldn't stand.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 02:48 PM
6

This is exactly my approach. I'll be sad if I don't have the opportunity to have a family, but I know I'd be sadder to be trapped in a life where I'm doing all the physical/emotional/financial work to support a family while my supposed "partner" doesn't contribute. I don't want kids badly enough to give up everything else I want. It's possible I may never find the right man for me, but I'd rather be alone than saddle my kids with the emotional trauma of having unhappy parents.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 02:07 PM
18

Make your space comfortable enough that moving in with a guy will be a downgrade. That will help you make a better decision for yourself when the time comes. I have moved too fast with guys because I was in a shitty living situation that I was eager to escape. As a result I've always made it a goal of mine to live by myself in a comfortable bachelorette pad. Goal accomplished 😊 Now I won't feel motivated to move in with a man until we're engaged.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/20 04:22 PM
21

And then they come on reddit and complain that they aren't always interested in sex, why do women think that men just want sex all day, men have just as much pressure if not more than women, etc
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 09:02 PM
15

Yeah, I dated someone based on their potential and was very understanding about all their reasons for why they werent meeting their potential yet or achieving goals. I really recommend you don't do it. Find a man who is at your level. It's not unreasonable to want things in a partner that you've already achieved yourself. If he needs to become a better person to be with you, then he's not ready for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 09:28 PM
14

Is this Hinge? You can report anyone looking for casual sex
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 10:06 PM
36

Sooo... The answer is either let him watch other women get raped, or let him rape you..... Got it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 09:56 PM
91

something something evolutionary biology Porn is totally natural! It's natural to only get hard when watching women be abused! Everyone should just accept it because men are un-evolved primates that can't reason with their conditioned desires! BTW you should listen to me because I am a smart and logical man. Now where's my larger paycheck?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 09:54 PM
25

Not even, sadly. This guy was a "tech startup" type except his business hadn't started making a profit in 6 years and he was perfectly content to live in his parents basement and accused me of only caring about money when I was like "how are we going to afford the house and kids you say you want?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 04:29 PM
20

That's EXACTLY what it is. "not looking for something serious but that could change for the right person..." it's manipulative as hell. Perfect way to keep a naive girl strung along, doing all sorts of things for him, in hopes that she'll get picked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 03:00 PM
54

My favorite thing is hearing conservative men say "my body my choice" over having to wear face masks for covid
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 02:37 PM
66

And do NOT give up those assets for a man!! I dated a guy who's choice of "career" (aka not having one) would mean I would need to financially support the first 5-10 years of our marriage. House, kids would all be on me. I felt obligated to do it "for love" (Yay ingrained female martyrdom) but that would have put me in a position of such risk because what if we divorced before he could start earning a living, and then I've poured all of my income into a dead end? Now I'm celebrating my singledom…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 02:12 PM
23

If they can't meet you in person, then they can't manipulate you into sex. I'm facing the same thing trying to date during covid. Men are absolutely not interested in video dates because there's no chance of them getting in my pants.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 01:06 AM
17

Ahh the ol' "you care about it, so you should do it"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 12:43 AM
5

https://www.inc.com/amy-morin/women-really-do-apologize-more-than-men-heres-surprising-reason-why-and-it-has-nothing-to-do-with-self-esteem.html A study showed that men simply don't apologize because they don't think they're wrong. I used to get in constant fights with my ex because he would insist that "he didn't intend to hurt me and therefore he doesn't need to apologize"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 05:50 PM
18

Thanks so much for bringing up the last part, about how the user is blamed for their shitty experience. The "you're the only common denominator" idea that holier-than-thou reddit users looove to trumpet has honestly fucked me up over the last few years ESPECIALLY in my relationships. I've taken my rejections on OLD and my failed relationships very personally as a result. It's really poisonous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 01:24 PM
15

This made me cackle
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 11:49 PM
27

Men invented "the wall" so that women in their 20s would desperately settle for whatever scum they're dating. It's all so that men don't have to try harder or deal with smart women in their 30s who have finally leveled up
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 05:08 PM
3

I have also been on amazing dates where the guy was giving me ALL signals that he was interested, and they still ended up rejecting me. I don't understand it at all but you're not alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 11:30 PM
29

Honestly if I had a daughter, I'd much rather buy her one of these than have her chasing after shitty middle school boys
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 08:51 PM
46

I got in a fight with my ex because my best friend had sent me a gift of art supplies and I didn't want to share them. He felt entitled to my birthday gift.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 06:53 PM
35

I got these texts too - "I miss your cooking" "I miss sex" You don't miss me, you just want another mommy gf
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 11:35 PM
16

Wtf.. your text was perfectly composed and he just flat out ignored it. This shit drives me nuts because this is how women get gaslit- we communicate directly and the world says "well have you talked to him about it? Did you communicate the RIGHT way? Can you make him understand better?" As if what you said wasn't good enough, and it's on you to fix his ignorance and boundary violation. Whatever you do, don't question yourself about this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 03:50 PM
20

"but I only watch amateur porn" is the line that EVERY GUY uses. I am so tired of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 12:05 AM
22

And yet you can bet your ass this guy is going to turn around and wail about how expensive child support is
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 04:38 PM
34

Are you me? I've been trying something new where I respond to every single message (or unmatch if I'm really not interested) and I leave the conversation open (asking questions etc) just because I was tired of complaining that there are no good men - I wanted to take myself out of the equation. And yet here I am, on a pile of open conversations where the guy decides he's too disinterested to respond back, but not enough to unmatch me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 01:17 AM
24

Everything else aside, this saying grosses me out so much. It makes men sound like actual pigs
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 11:25 PM
5

THANK YOU. this is my reaction! It's a nice way to weed out guys who have no qualms about lying to get laid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 11:17 PM
2

Yeah, I'm the furthest thing one can be from a sports fan so I didn't recognize either of them as athletes 😂 but man, the dating pool down here is soooo bad
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 09:24 PM
-7

It's my bad, I didn't know that was Michael Phelps lmao. But those photos are really unflattering to him if he's trying to look tall!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 08:31 PM
2

¿Por que no los dos?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 08:11 PM
19

Once you start noticing it, you'll be appalled at how many men blatantly lie about their height.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 07:48 PM
12

Omg that's Michael Phelps?? I had no idea haha. Is the other one also a famous athlete? If so, the guy gets a pass... But if I were a dude I would never use a photo with someone who is way taller than me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 07:47 PM
15

When I lived in Brooklyn, I wouldn't even date someone in Queens because that would be a long distance relationship lol. I wasn't ready to sit on the train for 1-1.5 hours just to see a guy. It wasn't a socio-economic thing for me, just a time issue. Ironically now I live in the suburbs and am willing to date people who live an hour away because the dating pool down here is like picked over, week-old produce at the grocery store. I'm willing to go the distance out of necessity. In NY there are s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 04:58 PM
19

Lol this guy sounds like one of the dipshits who responded to the "why don't men wear sunscreen" post on r/askmen
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 04:18 PM
80

Spontaneous is "I planned a day trip for us - you don't need to worry about a thing, just come along!" not "u up?" at 10pm 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 01:28 AM
1

Lol literally every guy I've gone on a "virtual date" with has shown up in his jammies and unshaven. Meanwhile I plan my entire day around when I'm gonna wash my hair.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 06:20 PM
16

Number 10... Is it just me, or do the majority of 28+ year old men still live at home? It's an epidemic. I have zero girlfriends my age who still live with their parents but it seems like 3/4s of the men I know IRL and through dating still live with their parents. It's a huge red flag to me because they never deemed it necessary to learn how to cook and clean. I'm looking for a partner, not a child.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 06:14 PM
19

And you'll be seen as the "evil girlfriend" who is always trying to pull him away from his family
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 06:12 PM
30

Hope you got that makeup back though. It's worth more than this man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 06:23 PM
29

Age: 39 Looking for: Not sure yet Wants kids: someday
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 03:49 PM
1

Thanks, but I already exercise 7 days a week
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 01:45 PM
2

This is amusing but if people find out about this sub through posts like these, it takes away from the sub's value 😕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 05:31 PM
16

If he actually cared about how you felt, he wouldn't need to be told which websites to stop following. You would have stated your feelings and he would have understood that Twitter specifically wasn't the problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 09:31 PM
3

This is why I love this sub - I feel called out but in a loving, supportive way! I totally struggle with social anxiety so I've been dealing with a case of "what the hell do I do with my body" for most of my life. I appreciate your suggestions!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 09:23 PM
59

Poor baby! He has to prove to women why he's worthy of dating! The one facet of life where he can't just succeed without trying by virtue of being male! Life is too cruel!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 01:38 AM
5

I could definitely use a confidence boost - you are not wrong. I would love to present as more confident. But it's funny because I'm getting this idea to "present as more feminine" from a lot of this sub's celebrated YouTubers such as Shera7 and Anna Bey.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 01:12 AM
12

I've been told it by various people since middle school. But most recently, by one of my best friends because I was complaining that men never approach me in public Edit: my friend is a woman. And the people who told me I was stiff were generally all female friends. An ex told me I came across as reserved on our first date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 01:06 AM
7

NO. And louder for those in the back: NO.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 08:33 PM
9

Jeez, and usually men use that prompt to humble brag
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 08:29 PM
9

Meh, I had this conversation with him and he twisted it to blame his parents and me. He was raised w really strict parents so he developed the coping mechanism to lie all the time because then he could avoid their wrath. And he knew how much I wanted to get married so he "didn't want to disappoint me". He always saw me as an extension of his parents because he didn't have the emotional maturity to realize the world won't treat you the same way your parents do. I am absolutely not excusing him. I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 01:29 PM
94

Oh god, I was that woman who brought up marriage and made concrete plans, and my ex later admitted that he felt pressured into it. Always remember: IF HE WANTED TO, HE WOULD.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 01:17 AM
54

Amazing that the so-called "brilliant" Elon Musk needs to be educated by "his woman" to understand these issues. I'm not trying to downplay her intelligence at all - just commenting on the fact that men can claim to be super smart and yet there is always a woman behind the scenes toiling away at the emotional labor. I was this woman, too. Had to talk my ex Elon Musk-wannabe out of believing his white trash family's coronavirus conspiracy theories.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 01:12 AM
45

Poor man, chose to make a lifelong commitment to someone and now he's TRAPPED because his meanie wife won't let him have sex with other women! He has no choice!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 01:08 AM
3

This pisses me off to no end. I've been to 23 countries and I've somehow not made it my entire personality. Traveling a lot doesn't make you a good or admirable person, it just means you have money (or parents with money)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 02:00 AM
1

🙋‍♀️ Yes, I'm a stuck-up, frustrated, feminist bitch. What's the problem?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 08:45 PM
1

BABY DADDY
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 06:52 PM
4

Girl STAY PICKY. It's amazing that you have learned to keep your standards high at such a young age. Don't waste your precious 20s on LVM. So many of us here made that mistake. Keep your head held high. Women who expect more tend to get what they want.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 05:28 PM
20

It's just another way for men to expect something completely unreasonable and unattainable for women. We're always supposed to be in battle with our own bodies for them. It's how they keep us down, because we're spending all our effort trying to live up to unattainable standards rather than becoming powerful women. And then we're just thankful when one of them is attracted to us even though we aren't a blow up doll.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 04:29 PM
9

The worst part is people in the comments saying "well it's YOUR FAULT cuz you left him on READ why did you have to do him dirty like that?!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 10:56 PM
7

Sadly it was me - I was a pickmeisha. I've only leveled up after that relationship. He was the best sex I had ever had, very affectionate, and was very good at TALKING about all his supposed values and goals... til I lost attraction to him due to the fact that he couldn't be a partner in the future I want to build. It's very easy to want to believe someone when they're passionate about something and they clearly believe in themselves. He told me early on his business was viable, they were so clo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 10:43 PM
7

Yep. His business is in live events (read: large crowds) and when the pandemic hit, he was like "it's not that bad, I still think I'll be earning income by the end of the year"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 10:41 PM
18

"girl in the pic is my sister"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 06:11 PM
5

Why do men grow beards? Because they're too lazy to shave every day. Source: all of my exes who stopped shaving once we shacked up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 04:51 PM
139

Oh god, I dated this guy. He was literally tens of thousands in credit card debt due to playing "entrepreneur" with no income for 6 years, and yet he told me all the time how he wasn't gonna give me any share of his company (lol no thanks) and was happy we met "before he became successful" so he'd know I wasn't just with him for his money. Let me repeat, he had zero income, no health insurance, thousands in CC debt, lived in his parents basement.. Meanwhile I have a great corporate job and enoug…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 02:48 PM
5

I used to be this way (even treating men sometimes) and I ended up paying for dudes who ended up rejecting me anyway. Meanwhile, I spend hours getting ready for dates. All that time shaving your legs and doing your hair and makeup? Time is money, right? Men spend 10 minutes getting ready and call it a day. Given our reduced stature in society (fuck the patriarchy) and risk we put ourselves through to date, I no longer feel guilty about men paying for me. Plus I am very financially stable and am …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 03:17 PM
3

I am this way too, and I have been trying to remind myself a guy will expect something even if you pay your fair share
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 03:03 PM
23

Lol I broke up with my boyfriend 1 week into quarantine because he couldn't be my teammate and partner. His response to the pandemic was very telling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 01:26 PM
18

I thought that sub was gonna be rants about immature children but 9/10 posts on there are about lazy husbands! Thank you for the continued motivation to stay single and keep my standards high. If I'm gonna take care of a child, they better be under the age of 18.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 04:54 PM
6

1) always trust in actions, not words. Anyone can say "I never lie" til they're blue in the face and you're under no obligation to believe them unless they prove it to you through actions 2) A man can believe he's the most honest guy in the world but it means jack shit if he lies to himself. Because in that case he really doesn't believe he's lying - he's telling the truth from his skewed perception of himself. Again, this is why it's important to trust in actions and not words. Example time: I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 04:52 PM
4

These are the same assholes that complain that mens mental health issues aren't taken seriously Yeah, if you spew all over reddit & popular culture that men are sex-driven dimwits, then people may just take it seriously...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 03:57 PM
9

You bet it's getting posted here!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 01:30 AM
18

It's honestly GREAT entertainment. I'm currently putting together a collage of men who blatantly and poorly lie about their height
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 12:01 AM
71

I think the word "crazy" is also very telling... anyone who has had a relationship with someone who suffers from mental illness usually won't just slap the "crazy" label on there and call it a day. Odds are you tried to help the person, tried to understand them, listened to them. It's hard to call someone "crazy" when you've actually made an attempt to understand them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 09:37 PM
46

/u/Ka_Tetof99 Linking because I found this blog incredibly helpful when I was dealing with my relationship with my parents http://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/missing-missing-reasons.html
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 09:36 PM
5

Just goes to show if a woman makes more than her male partner, he WILL resent her and find any way to tear her down
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 06:31 PM
4

Thank you. If he can't plan his day around a first date, then he clearly isn't invested in making a good first impression.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 04:28 PM
4

Very true, and I had been flaked on 3 times this week so I was definitely attacking him because I wanted to take back some "control" over these men who have no regard for my time. So that was unnecessary and I could have played it better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 04:13 PM
4

Thank you!! This is such good advice & a good mindset shift
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 03:13 PM
6

Putting all the initiative on them to reschedule is a very good idea. In my experience when I have done that, the reschedule never happens (indicating what they really thought of the original date..) but as much as that makes me feel like a fool, it makes the whole process a lot quicker
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 01:59 PM
3

Totally agree with you. In my experience, unfortunately, men will give a bs excuse and cancel a date, and then ghost me or continue to waffle when I say things like "bummer, when do you want to reschedule?" and it always makes me feel like a fool. Obviously that's the trash taking itself out, but I am not sure how to maintain my self respect when I keep giving off forgiving, pickme vibes like "sure, no prob, I'll just wait by my phone for you!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 01:54 PM
12

Agreed - I had planned out my day and accounted for this date, which is why I called him out on time management. If he was so "excited" for the date like he said he was, surely he would have calculated his time better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 01:08 PM
8

I see what you're saying. My fear is that men will really take it to heart that you're "cool" with it when you keep your response lighthearted. I want to avoid being walked all over and set the expectation from the beginning that he shouldn't feel comfortable cancelling/rescheduling with me. He was so casual about it when he did it and I am tired of being the "cool girl" that gets ready for a date and then is like "oh don't worry, I'll just wait around for your call!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 01:07 PM
3

Quick! His dick is shriveling up and disappearing before your very eyes! This deal should not be missed!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 12:45 AM
3

Sorry but I'm CACKLING at "very mysterious bio" "why?" "because there's nothing there" Way to fucking land it 👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 12:44 AM
18

Bruh he's just collecting data to reap that sweet, sweet karma on r/dataisbeautiful
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 11:57 PM
19

If he calls his ex "crazy," you can bet your ass he's gonna be calling you "crazy" one day too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 07:21 PM
72

I just declined someone on OLD because he told me he was going through a difficult divorce with an "increasingly crazy ex"... Divorce aside, the fact that he called his ex "increasingly crazy" told me all I need to know about his opinion of women
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 04:18 PM
13

I've had the same exact experience. Even for video dates which I've been trying to do - the most LOW EFFORT (for men - I still wash my hair and do makeup) date imaginable, they will ghost/flake/cancel. It really does make you take it personally even though you know you shouldn't. I guess I just wonder why they even bother agreeing to a date if they're clearly not interested.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 01:37 AM
6

It is exactly, exactly the scenario you described lol. Can't tell you how many times I've done a full face of makeup, washed and styled my hair, wore contacts, etc only to have a guy show up in his ratty PJs sipping a beer
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 01:23 AM
3

Same, it's like now that they don't have the opportunity of getting sex after going out for a first date drink, they don't even wanna bother. I've had many guys ghost me after I say let's schedule a video date. They say "sure! What time?" and then disappear
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 01:20 AM
40

I'm for real going to start making a collage of all the men who blatantly and poorly lie about their height
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 05:44 PM
7

My ex used to completely ignore everything I said during arguments but get hung up on ONE DETAIL of what I said that was irrelevant to what I was asking him to do, because it was fAcTuALLy iNaCcuRate and he was an ENGINEER so therefore he values SCIENCE and LOGIC and his perception of the world is 100% accurate!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 07:05 PM
103

PS4s are expensive... Dick is low value and replaceable
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 05:41 PM
13

Love when you literally GO ON A DATE WITH SOMEONE and they don't even remember you. I had that happen too - went on a really bad date with a guy, we never spoke again and then he "liked" me on an app just a few months later with a comment that made it clear he had forgotten we already met
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 01:19 PM
5

Thank you!! I changed my lock and keep my deadbolt fastened at all times.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 12:56 PM
2

Nothing wrong with wanting to date someone who prioritizes their health!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 11:13 PM
19

Incels promote violence against women. The biggest threat from FDS is that some women will choose to remain single.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 09:26 PM
43

Any man who is "tired of being the good guy" is 100% guaranteed to have never been a "good guy"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 09:24 PM
27

Yet if you ever suggest to a guy that you want to be careful because homicide by partner is one of the leading causes of death for women, they get sooooo offended. 2 days ago I mentioned to an ex that I was feeling concerned for my safety because I know he has guns and I couldn't tell what his emotions were, and he was like "not all men" and "I thought you knew me" and "you have nothing to worry about"... ALWAYS TRUST IN ACTIONS, NOT WORDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 07:28 PM
6

I've said it before and I'll say it again: don't make excuses for men that you wouldn't make for yourself
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 06:38 PM
10

I can't wait for the male outrage on this post, as if women should expect nothing from jewelry that is supposed to last 50+ years and is THE symbol of a lifelong promise you're making to another person
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 03:23 PM
39

I have that standard because I could afford a $1-5k engagement ring. I have worked hard to have my shit together and I am allowed to expect the same of my partner. As a recovering pickme, I was last with a guy who was so deep in debt with no prospect of getting himself out of it for the next 5-10 years and I hard started convincing myself it was totally ok for me to buy my own ring... Fuck that shit. I'm allowed to have standards in my partner to which I also hold myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 02:30 PM
54

His lil baby shark dorsal fin! 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 06:14 PM
58

THIS. I'm tired of making excuses for men. I don't even make excuses for MYSELF!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 03:17 PM
40

Sooo.... Relationship_advice, dating_advice, askmen and askwomen?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 02:53 PM
5

This is amazing - I'm so sorry you dealt with this, but it's amazing that you're taking these steps while you're so young. I can see myself in your experiences and it's so painful. I was that girl, too. Good for you for taking a step back and making changes. I wish I did this ten years ago!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 12:49 AM
14

It was dating an "entrepreneur" man-child for almost a year when I was almost 30, watching him make zero income and be $10k in CC debt while making no moves to leave the "company" he founded that hadn't been profitable for the 6 years he's worked there, living happily in his parents basement... And I was telling myself "it's okay, I'll just pay for everything for the first 5-10 years of our relationship. I'll buy my own engagement ring. I'll pay the hospital bills when we have kids. I'll buy our…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 08:45 PM
20

Seriously - missed opportunity!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 05:49 PM
24

HaHa JuSt KiDdinG why are u so sensitive??? 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 05:48 PM
13

Whew I thought it was just me. It's like no one ever taught them to ask other people questions to keep the conversation going. It's insane.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 02:38 AM
6

They don't read books because rEaDiNg iS HoMo so they learn how to speak English but not write it 🤷‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 02:30 AM
17

Women live longer than men. So women age better. End of story.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 09:32 PM
13

Notice how his first reaction is to get defensive and make excuses...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 07:41 PM
17

My old, pickmeisha brain would have said "but you have to praise him because he tried to help, otherwise he will never help out again!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 05:30 PM
57

My best friend was recently going through some hard times and felt like she couldn't ask her husband for emotional support because she's always tried so hard to be self sufficient, and her husband has said it's one of the things he loves about her. So she felt like if she relied on him, he would love her less. Don't trap yourself like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 04:13 PM
37

How dare you call out my last 3 relationships so accurately!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 01:24 AM
37

Only 👏 trust 👏 actions Please PLEASE do yourself a favor and move on from this clown. Men looove talking about how great they are and how they're gonna treat you well. Believe me, I fell for a guy based on his words alone. A man who talks big doesn't ever act on these promises, in my experience. A real HVM doesn't need to tell you this shit because he's too busy ACTING ON IT.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 06:09 PM
1

Has anyone re-created the FDS official playlist on Google Play Music?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 05:43 PM
5

Forgive yourself. We all make mistakes. You learned and won't do it again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 06:40 PM
78

I love seeing these beautiful, strong faces!! It makes me feel even better about this community.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 08:12 PM
61

As LoNg As He CoMeS hOmE tO Me 🤡🤡🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 01:32 PM
9

Don't ask "am I being needy" because everyone is different and every relationship is different. Some people want to chat all day every day and others are fine with contact once every few days. Anything along that spectrum is ACCEPTABLE as long as both parties are getting their needs met. It's more important to ask yourself "is this the kind of relationship that works for ME?" If you've communicated your needs and he isn't meeting you there, then I wouldn't consider him a HVM if communication is …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 09:41 PM
31

Yeah, my fat friends get way more male attention than I do and my BMI is 18. I read somewhere that way more men than we realize are attracted to fat women - they just won't admit to it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 08:58 PM
66

"But nOt aLL mEn!" lol sure but nearly all of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 08:52 PM
3

Yep, I had an ex who had lost a bunch of weight before we got together, and immediately after we started dating gained all of it and more. It took me so long to build up the courage to talk to him about it, and I ended up having to talk to him about it several times before he actually understood that I was losing attraction due to his lack of caring. Meanwhile I had been stressing over the thought that I may have gained 1 or 2 lbs throughout our relationship, and his response was to say "yes you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 07:43 PM
10

Oh my god. This is why I'm not dating men who already have children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 10:56 PM
10

At least all the swiping left burns calories, lol. It is really disappointing how much men don't even TRY on their dating profiles. 5 terrible car selfies and that's all you got? Sometimes I am offended that they even try to shoot their shot with me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 09:12 PM
22

The difference is that women preemptively think about how we want/need to stay attractive for our partners, and men think they can just let everything go once they are in a secure relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 09:08 PM
32

Lol they use beards to mask their poor jawlines and yet it's women who are "lying" when we wear makeup.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 09:06 PM
26

It's literally because men are too lazy to shave every day. Yet we go one day without shaving our legs and "ewwww"....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 09:05 PM
24

Every POS guy thinks he's a "decent person". Life must be easy when the bar is set so incredibly low 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 01:00 AM
11

I mean, he ended up being a pathological liar so I definitely didn't admire him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 12:07 AM
14

I just got out of a relationship like this. I was promised so many "somedays" and "in the future"s. I kept waiting for him to get his shit together. As someone older and wiser than you, DO NOT fall for the sunk cost fallacy. You are so young and you have the whole rest of your 20s and beyond to find yourself and find love. Focus your energy on figuring out your own situation (esp moving out and finding your own identity separate from your family - again, I spent my 20s doing this too) rather tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 12:05 AM
41

SAME. he said it like there was absolutely nothing weird about it. He later proved himself to be entirely incapable of introspection, sooo....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 11:57 PM
110

Yep. It was a big red flag when I was telling one of my exes how much I had changed and grown between the ages of 20-25, and when I asked him if he felt the same way about himself he was like "nope, I feel like I have been pretty much the same person over the last 5 years"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 10:45 PM
45

This kind of post just makes me grateful I'm single and not parenting a manbaby
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 02:24 PM
42

Same! I deserve to be the protagonist in my own story. My ex didn't lie or cheat but he expected me to be his one-dimensional cheerleader and sacrifice everything I've worked for to be with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 02:12 PM
28

Mine told me "I'll do literally anything for you"... Turns out he won't actually do anything for me that doesn't serve him lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 01:56 PM
7

I also experienced this when dating someone from a lower socioeconomic class. He resented me for being better educated than him and didn't listen to my thoughts or opinions even though he thought I was "so smart". He wanted to skate by on being underemployed and be a "stay at home dad" (aka working on his fun projects) while I birthed his kids and held down a full time job. Men only want you to be better educated and higher paid in ways that benefit them, but they also still want you to "know yo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 05:49 PM
10

Several times I've made the first move and men told me I was too forward and never wanted to talk again. In relationships I ended up with guys who had commitment issues. And overall it left me with the question of "does this person actually want me?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 02:20 PM
78

Yeah I used to follow this advice. I always made the first move with men. Finally found the light after my last breakup!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 11:17 PM
13

Modern Love - essays are written by actual writers and they have random celebrities read them for the podcast. The podcast also will have a section at the end where they have the celebrity personally connect with the essay blah blah but it may be possible to find this essay on the New York Times website without Laura Prepon involved
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 02:54 AM
21

Not OP but I personally found Attached by Amir Levine to be a very useful book in learning about attachment styles
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 02:59 PM
28

You owe yourself some compassion. You didn't know better. It's human to want to feel a connection with someone and to turn towards someone who makes you feel wanted, even if logically you know they're no good for you. You learned a lesson and you can turn towards the future and do your best.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 08:00 PM
55

The biggest question to me is where does he live that he can be paid $200k but find a nice apartment for $1800?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 11:01 PM
14

"It’s great you’re realizing all that now, but you should have realized it all when I was saying these exact same things to you while in the relationship, explaining how hurt I was, etc. Not six months later after I’m moving on. It’s incredibly frustrating to have basically begged this guy to realize the value of our relationship when we were in it, and now, well after the fact, NOW is when he finally realizes it and how much hurt he caused. Or maybe he doesn’t and it’s all an act" Meditate on T…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 10:13 PM
20

Love it. I was with a guy who worked for a "start up" and made no income for years, tens of thousands in debt, but he would always be like "I'm glad I'm with you now before I make it big". Meanwhile I have tons in savings, investments, side income, and a good career... I was paying for everything and financially stable, yet he was so concerned about this fantasy future where he's somehow rich lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 07:52 PM
28

Honestly I've done that to so many men, I'm just waiting to find one that some other poor girl fixed first
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 02:27 AM
75

How come mEn aRe StuPiD and don't know things until you literally tape it to their foreheads, and yet society is supposed to respect and pay them more than women??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 01:32 AM
5

Because men will eat like shit and drink every day and then won't work out, don't wear sunscreen, don't have any semblance of a skincare routine, and still expect women who have treated their bodies like temples to come running
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 06:34 PM
17

Yeah my friend is a vegan health nut and has been for years, yet she also has awful periods due to PCOS AND endo.. Sooo about those burgers she isn't shoving in her mouth...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 05:29 PM
0

What videos or channel? I'd love to watch and learn!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 02:59 AM
3

How do you say no and get them on a more creative track when they say "let's video chat"?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 12:48 PM
25

That's so weird, I almost wish the men near me would make profiles like that. Instead the men in my area "brag" about how all they do is watch sports, get takeout, don't take themselves "too seriously," and wash their lights with their darks (seriously I keep seeing that last one on so many profiles. I think it's supposed to be charming).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 12:26 AM
56

I wish the "UPGRADE NOW" button meant you could upgrade to better quality men 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 05:23 PM
6

It was a Facebook ad for one of those fancy bidet toilets.. But there was absolutely no reason for it to be in a living room on a rug!! Just straight up bizarre. I get such a kick out of Facebook ads.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 09:59 PM
26

My attraction to men even after seeing shit like this is evidence that sexual attraction isn't a choice
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 04:19 PM
11

When Beyonce got cheated on, I realized that being beautiful and successful was no guarantee that you wouldn't be hurt. It's not a woman's job to "keep" a man by being beautiful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 01:42 AM
22

I was just thinking about my ex who was perfectly OK with being financially dependent on me, and when I occasionally got stressed out about it and said that I wished he were more of a partner, he got OUTRAGED because how dare I accuse him of not being a partner when he helps with some of the household chores?? Meanwhile I was working full time, bringing in the only paycheck, AND doing half of the housework plus meal planning and grocery shopping for us. But how dare I say he isn't being enough o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 10:16 PM
35

I hate that the question is always "have you tried communicating with him"... Maybe if someone is shouldering the uphill battle of recovery, the very least her partner can do is Google "how to support my partner with an ED"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 09:44 PM
5

I've been with a couple men like this. They "think" they want a family but don't want to put in any of the work or sacrifice in order to have one. They think because they're men, they can say "I want kids, I'm just not ready yet" until they're 40, and then find a woman who will sacrifice her career and bear their children. They "want" kids but haven't made a single step towards building a life that can accommodate children. These men are walking red flags because they clearly have no idea what i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 02:42 PM
3

What's your tactful way of asking whether a guy has kids when you're still in the messaging phase?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 01:39 PM
2

Thanks for this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 10:10 PM
7

Aww, poor butthurt babies. Now I know I'm doing something right!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 04:05 AM
5

Thank you! Re: approachability, any pointers? I particularly struggle with that because I'm a pretty reserved person by nature. But if there's any way I can fake it til I make it, I can try.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 02:00 AM
3

They spew this bs all the time and every time I've been more forward than a date, it has backfired. I keep doing it but I really need to learn to not ask men out and especially not to text about a 2nd date. It's a bad sign every single time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 11:07 PM
3

Question, how do you deal with the scarcity mindset when you get post date anxiety? Especially when HVM are actually scarce in my area?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 10:40 PM
11

Are you me? I dated a guy like this for 4 years. He was everything I wanted except for the fact that he had deep psychological issues and was a pathological liar, and his issues were so deeply routed that no amount of therapy or couples counseling would fix it. Thanks to the couples counseling and my own therapist who insisted on identifying all the reasons I was driving my ex to lie, I worked so damn hard on myself for those 4 years thinking if I fixed my own issues, I'd fix the relationship. T…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 11:19 PM
1

Thank you, I really needed this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 11:31 PM
2

LESSON LEARNED!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 07:20 PM
17

Don't find yourself trapped with someone who makes you feel bad. Being alone is really hard, but so is being confined in a space with someone who sends your stress levels soaring. I just made the decision to break up with my bf while we were quarantined together. The idea of being alone is scary but it's also a relief to not have to take care of him during this time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 04:43 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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