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Lemon-law Archive

View 8 posts and 69 comments by Lemon-law on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I was threatened early in the process and accidentally caught it on a recording by chance. I had a gut feeling something was going to happen that evening and it did. From that point on, I knew I had to protect myself. She came close to losing 50/50. She refused to sign the agreement. Once the judge knew there was a CPS case against her. He wasn’t happy. Her options were to sign the agreement as we drafted it or we go to trial and the judges words “you’ll be lucky to get every other weekend.” She…
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/22 02:46 AM
1

You’ll hate me… I bought it site unseen and ‘running.’ Well, it was blown up when it got here. It’s getting a 1jz swap now
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/21 07:53 PM
1

93 Rx7
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/21 12:58 PM
1

I don’t think I can answer that. I was told that if we both wanted the house and couldn’t agree, the judge would make us sell it and split the profit. But my scenario was she couldn’t afford it. So we Never had to address that issue to the judge
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/21 05:54 PM
1

I guess it depends on how bad the credit is and if a bank will loan the money. I know my ex tried to get the house. But I know that she didn’t make enough money to qualify. That’s what’s funny. She manipulated her income down to get more child support and that screwed herself out of getting a loan for the house. Keep in mind that keeping the house isn’t always the best option. Depends on what you can afford. It made sense for me to keep it.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/21 05:15 PM
1

Correct. We bought the house together before being married. The house builds equity. I had to buy her out of half of the equity. I refinance the house for what I owe on it and the equity I owed her. Good news is I got a killer rate. Bad news is I’m back to square one on paying the house off. All things said, it was cheaper for me to keep the house than to sell and buy another one.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/21 03:44 PM
1

You nailed it and was my attorney’s argument as well. But she knew what the judge would do as long as we were 50/50. It makes no sense to pay full support on 50/50 custody.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/21 09:53 PM
2

It’s been sitting for 2 years. 1993 Rx7 restoration.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/21 07:46 PM
2

I never needed to married. I did it for her. I felt like I was providing. I also ignored red flags along the way. While I don’t regret my children, marriage is outdated and I’d likely never do it again.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/21 07:45 PM
3

I can totally appreciate that and yes, I absolutely lucked out on the judge. My attorney told me I have a 1 in 4 chance of getting that particular judge and I did. I have heard stories from my attorney about the others. I totally agree it’s a rigged system. Keep fighting. It will work out.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/21 07:21 PM
3

I fully understand that feeling. Do you have a support group? A therapist or just anyone to talk to? I did a lot to maintain mental health. Noise canceling headphones when I was in the house with her. Lots of long walks alone. I’m a regular at the gym. Anything you can do to get your frustrations out. This was helpful to me and a good metaphor. https://youtu.be/z9oEFtXOqh4 You WILL get there. You will. Just keep riding that river/rapids
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/21 07:00 PM
2

I checked your posts. I am not in NYC. County was Monroe.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/21 06:56 PM
1

Maybe location has something to do with it? My attorney was great. About $300/hr. Like I said she didn’t nickel and dime me on every email, question etc. I believe my exes attorney did, which is why her bill was higher
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/21 06:55 PM
1

Thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/21 06:24 PM
4

All in, near $8k for me. My attorney was very reasonable and didn’t nickel and dime me. My ex paid more in attorney fees than I and her attorney literally did not do anything. Mine drafted all the paperwork and made all the offers. Ex was likely near $12k last I knew.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/21 04:11 PM
1

WNY
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/21 04:09 PM
4

Take it a day at a time. Do what you can to keep your mind occupied. You are on a boat with no paddles. Just along for the ride most of the time. That said, you can still fight for your/your kids needs. Don’t let go of those and don’t give up! Good luck to you!
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/21 03:28 PM
1

Thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/21 03:26 PM
3

I’ve been dating for about a year. Actually just had a bad breakup a couple months ago. That sucked. But laying low since. I’m trying to get over that relationship. The marriage relationship was dead long before that and not a issue.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/21 03:26 PM
5

I filed in feb 2020, final on 10/21/21. It was dragged out by her. She wouldn’t accept any offer we made and she never made any counter offers. Until a judge was involved and came up with child support numbers that were lower than we offered. Then she countered with one of our previous offers (the highest one) and we told her to pound sand as that offer was now off the table. We were one step away from trial. The judge essentially threatened the ex and her attorney. Saying sign the agreement or …
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/21 03:25 PM
2

She had income but it wasn’t reported accurately. She runs her own business and manipulated the books. It wasn’t enough to fight over so I had to swallow it. I had her w2s from a prior office job and they imputed her income to that level.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/21 03:19 PM
1

At a minimum, take the child support. It’s exactly that, support for your children.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/21 04:46 PM
18

I’ll keep it short. Always go with your gut. Always.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/21 03:17 AM
1

Not a camera, but I ran a digital recorder with me 24/7 for a year and a half. Backed up the recordings on a computer. I also logged everything. It’s amazing how you can actually see the gaslighting now that you have record of what really happened. My ex tried to use the police, my kids against me and threats of CPA to get her way. None of it worked. Exes lie, recorders dont
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 07:09 PM
2

Start a log and document every.single.detail. Also a pocket recorder if you’re in a single party recording state. Tell no one that you are recording. Back it up often. I used a digital recorder with a 32gb card. Almost enough room to store a month worth of recording every day. It has saved me a hand full of times when she tried to accuse me of anything. Get out. It is toxic
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/21 05:23 PM
4

This sounds all too familiar. Get out. No kids and you own the house, this should be easy. Good luck to you sir
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/20 01:20 AM
7

This man speaks the truth
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/20 09:43 PM
10

Going to be a lot of ups and downs. Making the decision to divorce is the hardest one. Remember what got you here in the first place. You have to do what’s best for you.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/20 05:47 PM
2

I read through the shitty husband post and don’t agree. Maybe because I wasn’t that guy and I was the one that left. I would say that my STBX was a shitty wife. That said I am reading “no more mr nice guy” and some of it resonates with me, some doesn’t. I am trying to make some changes that are pointed out to me. That said, it hasn’t been long enough yet to see if it’s working.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/20 09:48 PM
3

Oh so much truth to this!
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/20 03:16 PM
1

This is what I did..
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/20 05:03 PM
1

Thank you. Taxes filed last night. Nice point on the 50/50, I’ll keep that in mind. Waiting to see what STBX comes back with before deciding to do what’s next.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/20 10:26 AM
1

Well, not sure my post was meant to be inspirational, but you def aren’t alone. It appears this behavior is par for the course as a few people have the same story.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/20 10:24 AM
1

Thanks for the reality check
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/20 10:22 AM
3

Thanks for the response. I’m in the US, NY. Kids are both under 6. We tried mediation, just the two of us and a mediator in the past and it failed because STBX was uncooperative. The mediator shut it down. I don’t know if mediation with our attorneys is an option. More on that below. Rather than spin my wheels, I hired an attorney at this time and I filed. From my understanding, we will send 2 offers before my attorney will say enough and lay out my options of what happens from there. Thanks for…
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/20 09:01 PM
2

Wow! That was a great read. Thank you. Saved for later as a reminder.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/20 09:30 PM
1

Neither are you. You aren’t alone either!
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/20 02:39 PM
1

Wow! I felt this in my gut I did let her go, but wish I did it sooner
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/20 02:31 PM
1

I’ll say that again. Do not move out.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/20 10:40 PM
2

It’s not a failure I’d you’re making the change. Take control of your life! Good luck to you!
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/20 11:56 PM
2

Thank you! Stories from people that have turned this into something good are so helpful. There is hope. I do agree I wish I started this earlier
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/20 11:55 PM
3

Ugh, sorry to hear of your situation. I have no intention of leaving the house. We are only in pause due to covid-19. My lawyer says she is working on the settlement agreement, but courts are closed until next month. Hang in there! We will all get to that light at the end of the tunnel.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/20 08:43 PM
7

Thanks for your comment. The support is very welcome! It’s amazing what I catch as gaslighting now. She will say one thing and completely flip it or lie that never happened. I refer back to my detailed logging and it shows what really happened. You start to become immune to the games.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/20 08:33 PM
1

I checked redpill out. It’s awful
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/20 02:46 PM
1

Thank you for this. This perspective is very helpful for someone that still in the middle of the battle
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/20 09:26 PM
8

Absolutely. I wished I listened to my gut on the red flags
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/20 02:55 PM
1

That won’t happen
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/20 09:38 PM
3

This was my understanding. The child support would be based on last years income. Not my potential in the next few months. There is no way we can get this finalized before the promotion kicks in. If I get it..
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/20 09:29 PM
1

Nothing yet. I paid my retainer. Gathering some docs and will get them to the attorney soon to file. I did have the discussion that I hired an attorney with the STBXW. Nothing was shocking to her. Pretty sure my STBXW has a meeting with an attorney this week.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/20 09:54 PM
26

My red flags before marriage all came true. I wish I listened to my gut more back then.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/20 06:13 PM
3

I shopped around. First 2 I met with were all about the money and I didn’t feel comfortable. I had some recommendations from friends and family and met with all of them for about an hour each. My advice is to go with you gut about who you like. Edit: who has the approach you like best. The one I picked had a good record for returning phone calls. Doesn’t nickel and dime. But is also competent.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/20 12:00 AM
1

Honestly I wouldn’t be surprised either way. Nothing after the last two years, post failed mediation, comes as a shock anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/20 11:16 PM
0

Good for you. I set a password on my phone long ago. I think she was snooping at one point. I can’t be sure though
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/20 10:31 PM
1

Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/20 03:57 PM
1

What is ‘AP’? Sorry I have seen that a few times.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/20 03:50 PM
1

Nothing has turned out for me yet. I have one more attorney meeting this month before I pull the trigger and get started. I’m anxious to get moving but can’t get an earlier appointment.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/20 12:31 PM
3

Although I’m not in the midst of it yet. I was told by an attorney to document all your time with the kids. I use a diary app called Daybook. You can document from your phone and access it from a pc. If you need you can export and print it. Also allows you to add photos. My wife has said in the past she wasn’t going to share custody. Any evidence you can build in your favor would help.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/20 12:05 AM
2

It really is reoccurring in many stories. I’m shocked to read how many stories are similar to my own.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/20 09:22 PM
2

Good make that solid decision and follow through with it. I haven’t gotten into the midst yet. I have one more attorney to meet with before making a decision on one and getting started. Good luck to you!
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/20 06:22 PM
1

I see your point. Others have said the opposite. I guess the search continues for right now.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/20 01:11 AM
1

Primary Custody. Maybe my research is wrong? But these are the type of things I am coming across. Domestic Violence As It Relates To Custody Determinations Traditionally, the court, in making determinations of child custody, did not consider instances of domestic violence. However, after a modification in the Domestic Relations Law Section 240 (1) in 1996, the court now considers the effects of domestic violence on the best interests of the child when making decisions about custody and visitatio…
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/20 01:11 AM
1

That is one of my biggest fears. She was not agreeable in mediation. I don’t have much reason to believe she will be in collaborative law. I don’t even know if they will handle it because the domestic abuse issue that was not brought up in mediation.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/20 11:38 PM
1

I answered some of the info in the post above yours if you can check that out. I have 2 more attorneys that I am meeting with this month. Just trying to widen my search. Thanks for responding. Edit. I am meeting with a collaborative law attorney next week.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/20 08:53 PM
3

We tried mediation 2 years ago. Our mediator put an end to id because my wife was overly emotional and could not be reasoned with. Our mediator sent us to collaborative law attorneys. However, we didn’t go through with it and reconciled. Things were ok for about a year and a half and here we are again.. We do have 2 children under the age of 8. My issue is with a domestic issue in which she threatened to kill me. She struck me a few times as well. As mentioned, it is documented
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/20 08:51 PM
5

I know I’m not the op, but this gives me hope for my situation. Thank you for your words
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/20 06:33 PM
3

Are you paying child support? My understanding is if you are paying child support, those expenses should be included when it was calculated. You owe nothing extra. YMMV.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/20 05:16 PM
1

Thank you!!
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/20 05:00 PM
1

Ugh it isn’t as easy as it sounds. Today we are playing nice and I am questioning myself. But I took notes on our last conversation to remind me that she said she loves me but isn’t in love with me. She doesn’t like when I touch her. Says she cringes. Also we hugged after the conversation, I could feel she wasn’t there. It wasn’t a real hug. This all in addition of it is me that is trying to make it work. I saw little to no action on her part. Re the suicide note. While my stbxw hadn’t written a…
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/20 05:00 PM
5

Thank you. I posted here because it seems like so many can relate and are going through something similar. The support is much appreciated!
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/20 12:43 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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