~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2 | Wow ! New here, pretty certain this sub saved my lifeDITCH every single friend who encouraged you to give him a chance. They are dangerous! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/08/21 03:32 PM |
| 4 | guys quizzing you on datesThey're trying to put you down. What they really want to say to you is "You think you're all that huh" I went on a date with a man today who is 8 years younger than me. That didn't stop him giving skeptical looks at things I said, and even telling me I shouldn't be saying the word "Interesting" because its "too diplomatic". At one point I said straight up "Look, I don't like people trying to change me". 🙄 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/08/21 05:47 AM |
| 33 | I loathe to sound vulgar but #toomanymen see dating apps as free prostitution websites…without any of the stigma of seeking out a prostitute. 🤭 Thank you FDS for helping me delete the dating app I was trying.The funny thing is the majority of people your age are NOT on dating apps, unless you're LGBT. Here are the stats: https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2020/02/06/10-facts-about-americans-and-online-dating/ We need to be careful about limiting beliefs that keep us trapped in a cycle of trauma. If I tell myself that everyone is on the apps, I'd keep signing up for the apps. If I tell myself that while some people have met a great lifelong partner online, most people haven't, then its easier to d… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 03:41 AM |
| 2 | VaginismusHi OP. I have a similar condition. I'm 38. I agree with you that it has been a fantastic screener for bad sex and low quality men. I don't even tell men I have it. They get screened out because I require someone I feel emotionally, financially and intellectually safe with in order to have sex. That said, I'd encourage you to find a good, thoughtful pelvic floor physiotherapist to treat the condition. You're holding a lot of tension in your pelvis without even knowing it. It affects your bathroom… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/04/21 08:53 PM |
| 18 | Black women of FDS (mixed-race women can chime in too): How do you feel about the "swirler" movement?This is where I stand too. My standards apply to all men regardless of where he is from. I do NOT grade Black men on a curve. Anytime Ive tried to do that, my sense kicks in and we dont make it past the first couple of dates (eg. the man I recently commented on who was an underachiever with delusional fantasies, he was Black). I date all kinds and no one is put on a pedastal. I have a list of qualities I screen for and everyone is compared against that list, Black, White, Korean, Trini... it doe… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/21 03:09 AM |
| 7 | Why FDS is Crucial if Motherhood is a GoalDamn! thats exactly it 😀 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/21 10:11 PM |
| 68 | Why FDS is Crucial if Motherhood is a GoalWoah at what you said about men with daddy issues. I literally just got rid of a man who said many of those things!! Id never encountered such before and it made me so uncomfortable. - his Father cheated on his mother and had a child from the affair when this guy was a kid. I felt bad for him . That part isnt his fault, but then.. I asked him about his career goals (because at 39 frankly his Linkedin is unfocused, and he was definitely exagerrating some things. He told me his career vision and g… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/21 06:57 PM |
| 5 | I cancelled a ‘date’ last minute. It was the right thing to doI understand the instinct, but it is a bad idea. He has already shown that he is at the minimum unfocused, has poor executive skills, and lacking in communication skills at 35 years of age. Trying to teach him what he did wrong is me investing my own energy and time for a man I don’t like, with no benefit to me and lots of downside. Because I know exactly how he would respond: “LOL you women are something else. You’re not all that. Because you are [insert my positive traits] you think your shit … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/11/20 07:48 PM |
| 5 | I cancelled a ‘date’ last minute. It was the right thing to doIt was helpful to me, which was the intended audience, in the context of cognitive therapy, and my background . 🤷🏾♀️ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/11/20 08:11 PM |
| 14 | I cancelled a ‘date’ last minute. It was the right thing to doNot Canadians. I’m originally from an African country. Canadians tend to be more your typical LVM. African LVM tend to be even more predatory and deceptive. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/11/20 08:09 PM |
| 6 | I cancelled a ‘date’ last minute. It was the right thing to doHe said I’d attract a mixed bag. really meant that I’d deal with a mixed bag of HVM and plenty LVM. For one thing, African men of all classes and status will always be attracted to articulate, accomplished and decent-looking African women with good manners. That’s just a fact - they like possessing women who are “out of reach”. A lot of African men try to marry up. I’d explained this to my therapist. I date interracially too, so I have to filter a cross cultural array of low value interest. The … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/11/20 05:26 PM |
| 3 | I cancelled a ‘date’ last minute. It was the right thing to doOh definitely! I don’t know why I keep relaxing my standards if he’s from my country. This is a weak spot that I’m nuking from now on. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/11/20 05:20 PM |
| 2 | I cancelled a ‘date’ last minute. It was the right thing to doThank you! 😊 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/11/20 05:19 PM |
| 2 | I cancelled a ‘date’ last minute. It was the right thing to doVery true. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/11/20 05:19 PM |
| 8 | I cancelled a ‘date’ last minute. It was the right thing to doIt was a compliment 🙂. He used even starker language. He said lots of people are attracted to women like Angelina Jolie, Kerry Washington, etc. Losers will ALWAYS be attracted to winners. But winners aren’t attracted to losers. Winners like someone that’s on their level. So Kerry Washington has to vet even harder than average. But she’s more likely to find a “winner” in the end because she herself is one. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy can be fun. 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/11/20 05:16 PM |
| 20 | I cancelled a ‘date’ last minute. It was the right thing to doOh shit 😂. I haven’t even said some of the things he did on our first phone call. Making conversation, I asked how he came to Canada, and he told me “I’m a hustler”. And then tried to deflect on me for asking. I asked if he’d ever been married and he paused for 5 seconds and said “No”. NO MORE DATING DOWN. Honestly, these things pissed me off so it was easy to cancel on him. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/11/20 05:07 PM |
| 48 | I cancelled a ‘date’ last minute. It was the right thing to doAll that happened on one date?? Jesus. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/11/20 12:33 AM |
| 30 | I cancelled a ‘date’ last minute. It was the right thing to doOh this is a good point. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/11/20 12:33 AM |
| 121 | I cancelled a ‘date’ last minute. It was the right thing to doOh definitely! I’d never have done this if I wasn’t also reading FDS. 😅 I’d have wanted to do it, but been too self-doubting to. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/11/20 11:25 PM |
| 2 | Scrote trying to move in with HVW.She’s not a HVW if he’s her FWB | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/11/20 04:45 AM |
| 54 | Female hypergamy is a lie. The reality of the "80/20 rule" is that 80% of women are quite literally equal in value to the top 20% of men. This is why we are seeing so many single high value women, and single low value men.Oh hell yes. I spend a lot of time on Dating subreddits (using my non-FDS account 😏) and every single day, when some woman suggests not having sex until you know the guy well, some scrote will WAIL that “withholding sex” is manipulative and childish and toxic. Not sleeping with a man who hasn’t proven himself to you is WITHHOLDING sex? Not letting a stranger insert his body parts into your most intimate places is WITHHOLDING?? The entitlement, the misogyny and the manipulation is so pathetic. Fu… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/11/20 04:35 AM |
| 5 | Career success is a good indicator of a man's drive. It is no guarantee of a HVM but is a good guarantee of his ability to push himself/take risks/be assertive/negotiate/delay gratification. Men have always had an advantage over women to build a career so proceed with caution if he doesn't.Absofuckinglutely. As an immigrant and a black woman especially, I now have zero sympathy for men older than 33 years who have no solid career direction. Funny enough I somehow went on dates with three men in a row who worked in the film industry. Two were unemployed due to Covid (I’ve now begun filtering those out. No more dates with unemployed strangers). But one guy in particular lied about his job. He was super vague (media producer, podcast & works for himself ) but when we met he says he h… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/11/20 01:29 AM |
| 3 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered November 1 2020🤣 this is brilliant! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/11/20 04:33 PM |
| 15 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered November 1 2020My gut has been questioning the whole time! Time to listen! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/11/20 08:37 AM |
| 9 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered November 1 2020Yup. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/11/20 07:20 AM |
| 20 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered November 1 2020I think the guy I’ve gone on two dates with is trying to avoid paying for me or to get me to pay for him?? The first date after the dishes were cleared, he went to the bathroom and was there for so long I actually started to wonder if he’d ghosted me. The bill came out and I left it there until he returned. And I asked “how do you want to handle this?” And he said he’d pay it “this time”. I realize now that there was an undercurrent of dissatisfaction when he said that. But I didn’t pick up on i… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/11/20 04:51 AM |
| 5 | are British men actually gentlemen?Random observation about online dating (OLD) in Canada. British men (and Irish men) will always say in their profiles that they are British or Irish. You’ll never be surprised to hear an accent when you have that first phone call, or see it mentioned in a message to you. Oh no, brits shout it from the rooftops like it’s a personality. It annoys me, especially when there’s nothing else they have going for them in their profile. You rarely ever see Vietnamese men listing “from Vietnam” in their pr… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/10/20 04:55 AM |
| 15 | Married At First SightThis is such a great point and cuts to the heart of it. Even the few times the man turns out to be decent, it’s pure luck. It’s such a bad idea. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/10/20 05:03 AM |
| 3 | I feel like OLD is not for me, & I think I'm honestly okay with that.I’m starting to come to this point of view. And I have done online dating off and on for YEARS. At least eight years of going on for 2 months then quitting and trying different apps. I start to get frustrated when I see women say “I persisted and it finally happened for me and I found my HVM online”. Because I’ve been “persisting” for several years. At what point do I get to give up? At the 20th year? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 11:23 PM |
| 8 | “What are you looking for?”Match has gone down the drain and really is the worst app now. You’re paying for the privilege of receiving “Hi beautiful” openers from a hundred greasy men dressed in shorts. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 12:22 AM |
| 8 | Is it strange that potential date sent me an unflattering photo?I have. Thank you. 🙂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/08/20 10:04 PM |
| 6 | Is it strange that potential date sent me an unflattering photo?Good point! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/08/20 07:51 PM |
| 13 | Is it strange that potential date sent me an unflattering photo?LOL. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/08/20 04:05 PM |
| 44 | Is it strange that potential date sent me an unflattering photo?Sigh. And he couldn’t even just say that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/08/20 03:59 PM |
| 2 | How can I date older men while still maintaining my power?You keep mentioning that you’ve lived in different countries and got multiple degrees. Do you live in a major city? Because there are plenty of women like you in their early twenties. I’m an immigrant who by 25 had lived in three countries and was working on my masters. Many of my friends (also immigrants) had had similar or even more harsh life experience. In America, especially, plenty of Black and Latino women grow up in poor neighborhoods, hustle and graduate from Ivy leagues and have all ki… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/08/20 03:12 PM |
| 6 | Unconventional red flagsWas the first man Ethiopian? Sounds very familiar 😅 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/08/20 02:38 PM |
| 11 | Struggling to follow through with psychological therapy due to the overarching gender/societal influences on women that impact on individual agency or 'self-efficacy.' What to do?I have had several therapists for over a decade. None gave good advice on dating. All of them - male, female, black, white, indian, old, young - urged me to lower my reasonable standards. The vast majority of psychotherapist are useless when it comes to modern dating - especially optimizing modern dating for women. They have undermined my gut instinct about men, pushed me to 'just give him a chance', etc. At one point, I decided I would never talk about dating with a therapist and I haven't sinc… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/08/20 04:38 AM |
| 8 | Cultural differences in what you consider low/high value dates?Yup. It definitely goes both ways. I can learn from an 18 year old as much as a 70 year old. I think age becomes most helpful when it comes to giving advice. I’d say most of FDS applies regardless of age, but there are always outliers. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/08/20 04:19 AM |
| 35 | Cultural differences in what you consider low/high value dates?I completely agree. I’ve lived in four countries as an adult, including the US. I’m also in my late 30s and have life experience where I know what a HVM looks like (they just tend to be married already) and have a great father who is a high value person. Where I need help has been in trusting my own intuition that someone is low value. Yet I got chastised for a comment I made based on the wisdom and exposure I’ve been able to gather over my lifetime, and even got a message that “no one cares abo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/08/20 08:44 PM |
| 6 | When a date is lying about SOMETHING. AKA you don’t need to wait until you have all the infoOh shit.. that would explain a lot!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/08/20 12:18 AM |
| 10 | When a date is lying about SOMETHING. AKA you don’t need to wait until you have all the infoYeah. My intuition is telling me to be afraid of him. There seems to be an underlying anger or control I must have picked up on. At first I thought I was just excited because we had such great conversations. But I now think part of me finds him threatening in some way. Like there’s a hidden darkness underneath. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/20 11:47 PM |
| 3 | When a date is lying about SOMETHING. AKA you don’t need to wait until you have all the infoLMAO | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/20 10:00 PM |
| 28 | When a date is lying about SOMETHING. AKA you don’t need to wait until you have all the infoI wonder honestly. He seems really close to his “family” and talks about his sisters and brother a lot. I’m starting to suspect they may be his children 😅, or perhaps one of them is the wife. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/20 09:59 PM |
| 8 | When a date is lying about SOMETHING. AKA you don’t need to wait until you have all the infoIt’s all contextual. Are you a man in his 40s for instance? Because at that age, that salary is too low to be high value and live in a major city. I’m actually in Canada so it’s Canadian dollars. $55K Canadian is $US 42,000. Making that much is fine in your 20s. But if you’ve been out of school for 2 decades, something is wrong. Unless you’re changing careers where you had a good income but recently switched. But people who have earned good money in the past tend to hustle in their new careers t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/20 09:54 PM |
| 2 | Dating in your 30s - men with roommatesI recently went on a date with a divorced 43 year old man. Found out he has roommates (they share a house). I honestly was disappointed about the roommate thing. His housemates sound young (I’d say 20s-30s) which makes it even more odd to me. The thing is, it’s rare that the roommate situation is the only flag with a man past age of 35. With my date it’s certainly not the only thing that gives me pause. That the housemates sound young, and that his job title seems a bit junior for his age, and t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/20 12:37 AM |
| 4 | Beware of men who date ONLY outside of their own cultural/ethnic groupAww thank you! It's from hard-earned experience. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/20 02:49 AM |
| 24 | Beware of men who date ONLY outside of their own cultural/ethnic groupI briefly was talking to a man like this - he is Asian (Taiwan), I’m black. At 38, he had never dated an Asian woman, only Black women. It was refreshingly new, but I have very clear written-down criteria that I apply to EVERY man that tries to date me. Applying those standards will always weed out the LVM. It doesn’t matter what package they come in. You don’t even need to talk to other women to figure out his deal. Asking him questions in a disarming way gave me all the info I needed to conclu… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/08/20 06:26 PM |
| 25 | Just got back from a first date where the guy have some sort of eating disorder and made a whole scene about splitting the bill. So awkwardThis is an important point. The whole point of dating is weeding out hundreds of men who are wildly inappropriate for you until you find the one who is right for you. You can do everything right and still have experiences with LVM. I don’t think it’s possible to predict who will be a terrible first date - that’s the whole point of the date . OP handled it well so long as she blocks him. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/08/20 05:49 PM |
| 9 | Living with a “High Value” single man: the observations of an FDS noviceHe isn’t. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/08/20 05:27 AM |
| 26 | [PSA] STOP assigning HV status to people you have known for under 6 monthsThis is my biggest pet peeve on this sub. That statement “He seemed high value”. “He seemed like he was my future husband”. Think how silly that sounds when describing a man you’ve been on 3 dates with. It’s the same thing as claiming some stranger was high value because he took you to an expensive restaurant 🧐 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/07/20 11:55 PM |
| 97 | If he doesn't cook and clean, he puts you at net negative.No joke, this is the reason I’m not married. Some women are terrified of being cheated on. I am scared of having to do more housework. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/07/20 11:59 PM |
| 13 | If you marry a low value man, it doesn't matter how rich he is, you'll still end up fighting in front of a Wendys like all the other low value couplesThis post title 😂 You’re absolutely right. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/07/20 05:45 PM |
| 3 | Updates on The Real Female Dating Strategy's Official Website!I think I have enough post history on reddit. I’m probably caught up in the backlog? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/07/20 05:42 PM |
| 3 | Anyone else bad at reading off PDFsYeah. I’m not a bitch. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/20 11:04 PM |
| 1 | I think it’s hilarious that this dating app is using one of the most douchey lines guys have in their profile to promote their app.This is it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/20 12:19 AM |
| 2 | Here is the follow up to my post from last nightOk. I 100% Absolutely Approve. You win. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/20 12:14 AM |
| 2 | Online dating strategy to find a HVMThat’s interesting! I’d have expected it was a dealbreaker. I find that sort of message irritating. But you do say you’d unmatch in 2 days if it didn’t progress, so maybe they end up filtering themselves out eventually if they’re low value. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/20 12:08 AM |
| 2 | Online dating strategy to find a HVMThis wasn’t mentioned in the OP. But did you respond to “Hi how are you!” First messages? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/07/20 10:59 PM |
| 32 | Pre-FDS me would have been chasing this loser LOL “ur really weird”Block at the first “lol”. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/20 05:37 PM |
| 9 | girls are out here with standards lower than the 9th circle of hellFor me it’s low value. It’s so generic - has absolutely nothing to do with me as a person. And tells me he doesn’t care to understand me. The men I like have way more interesting things to do with their brains. You know what’s a good text in the morning? “I had a strange dream. It involved Pringles” Way more fun and self-confident. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/20 05:21 PM |
| 13 | Dating in college - a waste of time?Im going to go against the grain. I honestly think college is a good time to have a decent boyfriend, not to “date”. It’s the only time in your adult life when you’ll be surrounded by thousands of people doing the same thing you’re doing. Once you leave school it’s harder to form new connections. I say don’t ‘date’ because in my opinion college is when you should be having great male friends that turn into a boyfriend. My college BF was a friend who wrote me a long email after he graduated (befo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/07/20 03:48 PM |
| 10 | Exposing a cheater - Muslim Fuckboy versionOP, be careful. You’re putting all this info on Reddit. Your profile picture, names in the screenshot (even if it’s a nickname they can find you on the dating site), the city you live in, your age, your ethnicity and your religion in the comments. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/20 08:14 PM |
| 17 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered June 26 2020It’s amazing how many men disappear off the face of the earth before the pre-date phone call. I’ve decided to just take it as a good sign that they don’t mean me any good. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/20 01:11 AM |
| 10 | First dateYou have to ask? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/20 07:24 PM |
| 9 | HANDBOOK TO DOWNLOAD - Protect your knowledge.Wow. Thank you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/20 02:03 AM |
| 22 | Advice for dating religious men?The majority opinion isn’t avoid them. A few vocal commenters don’t form the bulk of FDS. You need to find a HVM that is a match for you. If religion is important to you, then screen for religion. But the qualities of a HVM don’t change because he is religious. I think a lot of women put that as their number one thing then ignore all the other concerns (eg. His take on gender roles). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/06/20 03:50 PM |
| 49 | Remember how everyone was feeling all bad for Mark from ‘Love Is Blind’ because he got rejected by Jessica? Turns out he’s a cheating scrote!I never liked him. I knew he had some sort of scam going on. No high value man hangs around a drunk woman, begging her to love him. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/06/20 03:44 PM |
| 31 | My father on men who wait because they ‘have no expiry date’Thing is, I can’t think of any HVW I admire who had children before 25. I’m in my mid 30s and have been fortunate to live in different countries. I’m racking my brains and can’t think of one. It’s totally possible, but not common enough to make me accept that it’s a good idea compared to the alternative. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/06/20 10:29 PM |
| 5 | I would rather swallow a jean jacket than make a GROWN ASS MAN a schedule like this 🤢The heart emojis are particularly irritating. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/06/20 10:22 PM |
| 10 | Thank youKeep reading everything in the handbook (sidebar), then come up with a list of 10 traits in a man that are likely to lead to a supportive, mutually beneficial and peaceful relationship for YOU. Then come up with a list of common red flags you now observe in the men you date, and write down for each one how you will handle it when it next happens. Basically you need to read a lot, you need to believe internally that there is a clear difference between a decent or HVM and a LVM. And you have to be… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/06/20 01:12 AM |
| 1 | BuT hAvE yOu TaLkEd To HiM??? - Btw, if he's not helping with the cleaning he's not "wonderful", you're delusional!Good for you. So long as he is HV and treats you well. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/06/20 12:50 AM |
| 52 | Black men have the fucking audacity to say this shit after decades of putting down black women and leaving them single mothers? Anyways...This is an excellent point. I’m in my mid 30s and dating quite heavily. Across the board, the most disrespectful and laziest behaviour I’ve experienced from LVM has been from black men of all origins (African, Black American, Caribbean). It is misogynoir plain and simple. I continue to keep an open mind, because I don’t want to exclude my race from my own dating pool (I date all races). But I’ve had to start being more brutal in screening them because it seems to be that they don’t respect me or… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/06/20 02:22 PM |
| 18 | The AudacityThe funniest thing about this is nothing is stopping him from ceasing to be your “friend”. If he doesn’t like the terms being offered he can bloody well leave like any adult. No, he prefers to wheedle & manipulate and shame women in hopes that they’ll start sexing their male “friends”. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/06/20 02:10 PM |
| 2 | Sometimes I think to myself “It would be nice to be married” but then I see stuff like this and say to myself: “nah.”Link please? 😅 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/06/20 04:12 PM |
| 12 | Sometimes I think to myself “It would be nice to be married” but then I see stuff like this and say to myself: “nah.”I'm confused. Is this a skit or for real? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/06/20 12:39 AM |
| 45 | Gay men are proof that men are perfectly capable of understanding how to groom themselves to be more physically attractive, it’s just that straight men don’t give a single fuck how women feel and figured out its easier to just collectively bully us to lower our standards.What season or episode was this? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/20 07:23 PM |
| 8 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered June 17 2020Working out 4 times a week makes you fit. Do not use “average” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/20 07:20 PM |
| 16 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered June 17 2020This exactly. You can’t figure out someone is high value from one date. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/06/20 09:24 PM |
| 4 | Do not let men with bad intentions play devil's advocate with you. Most of the time, they're hiding behind a facade of being "rational" to cover for their sexist, ill-informed opinions. Call them out everytime!I actually had a first phone call with a man from match.com last night who behaved like this. This grown man had such a huge chip on his shoulder. After exchanging greetings, he started telling how he doesn’t need online dating 🙄 , that he’s not a stereotypical [insert ethnicity] man, blah blah. It was almost funny he really thought he sounded smart. Then for no reason, he said “let me ask you a question “ and invented a scenario where if I’m in a bar having a martini after a hard day at work an… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/06/20 12:28 AM |
| 2 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered June 8 2020lol thanks! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/06/20 05:56 AM |
| 85 | What FDS lesson was hard to "unsee" now that FDS made you aware of it?Recognizing that low effort is unacceptable. FDS put into words the frustration I was feeling from men who want to just text, who don’t initiate, who send one word messages online, who avoid paying for dates. Once I understood that a lot of men - in fact most - are trying to minimize the time, effort and money they have to spend to get sex, I became more confident in declining to engage with any of them from the jump. If he seems like he has potential, he might get one correction from me - and e… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/06/20 11:57 PM |
| 18 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered June 8 2020I nexted a man I was video dating with. He keeps texting me and the messages are full of emojis 🙄. The last thing I told him was that I wasn’t interested in video dating anymore and our next date should be in-person. He kept lamenting about the virus, and it’s honestly now a turn off. A month ago, we were wise to quarantine. But now - with things opening up in Canada where I live, and with testing widely available (I literally booked an appointment and got tested within 24 hours, no referral nee… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/06/20 11:24 PM |
| 7 | Love is....To be honest, I cringed reading this because it’s more mushy and hyperbolic than I like, and I’m guessing that’s why it’s being mocked . But I don’t think it’s wrong to find it inspiring. Don’t lose heart - sometimes commenters can be unnecessarily harsh here. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/06/20 02:22 AM |
| 1 | Hinge’s “most compatible” algorithm is totally wrong and racist. It doesn’t seem to be based on your usage data as they claim to be.What is the ‘Inner Circle’? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/06/20 03:02 AM |
| 3 | What are some orange flags you’ve learned to watch out for?That's an interesting perspective. I'll have to think about it. It doesn't feel like I'm talking myself out of acting, personally, but it's definitely possible. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/06/20 07:23 PM |
| 3 | What are some orange flags you’ve learned to watch out for?This is it. Tbh If he made $150,000 a year in an exciting field, and was really handsome, caring, a leader in other aspects of life, I would give him a pass and watch how committed he is to improving. Now for an average looking, average-earning man who has an average boring life story, telling me he's only now willing to learn to cook? Fuck that noise. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/06/20 07:10 PM |
| 4 | What are some orange flags you’ve learned to watch out for?There are women in this very thread telling me different. So, it’s clearly not straightforward. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/06/20 06:58 AM |
| 0 | What are some orange flags you’ve learned to watch out for?Again, that’s why it’s an orange flag? The point of orange flags is that there are women who would be perfectly ok with this exact scenario - I’m not one of them. I feel my post outlines this. Besides that, Telling a woman you just met that you don’t yell or hit doesn’t protect you from being abused by her. Any more than telling a guy on your first date that you hate cheating will stop him from cheating. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/06/20 06:55 AM |
| 4 | What are some orange flags you’ve learned to watch out for?I agree - and that’s what made it an orange flag - not something I’d block him over, but something that causes me pause. It’s especially an orange flag because of how he said it - this is our first phone call ever. If he’d said “I believe in remaining calm in relationships”, that would be different I think. He said “I don’t believe in yelling, calling names, and I never hit”. One is positive and hopeful, and the other raises unpleasant questions. All of those things (yelling and name-calling inc… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/06/20 02:45 AM |
| 4 | What are some orange flags you’ve learned to watch out for?That’s a good one. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/06/20 12:10 AM |
| 13 | What are some orange flags you’ve learned to watch out for?Possibly. I think some women may be perfectly happy to teach a man how to cook, for instance. They might be personal red flags for me, but not for others. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/06/20 12:09 AM |
| 16 | What are some orange flags you’ve learned to watch out for?LMAO. That was the last conversation we had. The funny part is I only asked about dinner. He proudly volunteered his entire diet. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/06/20 11:42 PM |
| 6 | What would happen if all women using dating apps... stopped? 🤔I agree with you. OLD takes a level of skill and strategy that comes naturally to few women. Since I worked with a coach on it, I’ve found myself better able to detach from outcomes, and I have multiple conversations online with men. The interesting thing is, I can think of a number of married women who are dating coaches who have FDS philosophy yet advocate online dating as a tool. I know of women in their 40s - 50s who remarried to decent men they met online dating. I suspect that OLD is here … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/05/20 02:25 AM |
| -1 | Dealing with someone with no car?I feel like this is the sort of question you have to answer for yourself. In a country like the US there is such diversity in terms of geography, culture and economy, there shouldn’t be a rule on cars IMO. For instance, there is a whole movement of people who say you shouldn’t buy a house because buying is a poor financial investment and owning makes it harder for you to move when you want. There are wealthy men (and women) who purposefully rent and refuse to buy a house. If we came up with a ru… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/05/20 01:24 AM |
| 1 | Dealing with someone with no car?Yeah.. I’m not getting this debate at all 🤦🏽♂️ I lived in DC, including Friendship Heights, in Capitol Hill, and in NW (16th street heights). Never owned a car. There are whole parts of DC one can live in without a car - and I knew men in their 20s-30s who had great salaries who didn’t own a car. They take the metro and on the weekend rent a Zipcar. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/05/20 01:10 AM |
| 3 | Pickmeishas be likeWhats up Basie Skanktified. Greenleaf is my jam 😂 We say NO to struggle love. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/05/20 12:40 PM |
| 18 | Pickmeishas be likeAhhh, this is my favourite topic. I have time today. This Pickmeisha is Nigerian and I presume lives in Nigeria. Nigerian men do NOT do housework or cook etc. It is so rare for a husband in Nigeria to see household chores as something he should share even 30-70% with his wife. Which means you the woman is trying to earn as much money as him, working the same level of hours, then coming home and doing 75-100% of the cooking, cleaning or household management. Then being subject to the emotional an… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/05/20 12:37 AM |
| 2 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered 5/6/2020LOL. I’m a programmer. This probably reflects in my dating approach 😌 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/05/20 05:44 PM |
| 26 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered 5/6/2020I am online dating during the shutdown, and started as about 5 weeks ago. So far it’s been my most informative OLD experience. And that’s even though 95% of the men I’ve chatted w have been immediate horror shows and haven’t transitioned off the site. But I’ve found it really informative because for the few men who I transition from OLD messages to phone calls, I glean so much info about them and vice versa without the distraction of meeting in person. Since we can’t meet for now, if they pass t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/05/20 03:35 PM |
| 18 | I would change this to say “how to vet a guy to see if he really likes you” versus “how to get any guy to like you” (convincing someone to like you is PickMe behavior) but the overall message otherwise is in line with FDSI am an old and I love this. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/05/20 01:41 AM |
| -6 | Bernies *1972* essay criticizing rape fantasy culture. Americans don’t want a HVM as president, not this year.An article he wrote in 1972 does not make him a HVM. Voters (especially black Americans over age 30) rejecting him as a candidate has nothing to do with their interest or lack thereof in HVM. Didn’t Bernie Sanders have a child with a woman and not marry her? I don’t think Biden is a HVM either for the record. But I’m not trying to date or marry either candidate. 🤷🏾♀️ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/05/20 01:23 AM |
| 3 | My lessons learned from attempting to spark conversation using online dating while blocking bad behavior using FDS style basic standards to vet messages.Same. I've been wanting to do a post about online dating for a while. From the perspective of a woman 35 years plus, one who has online dated off and on since 2009 and HATED it until recently. I now know several older women who have found second husbands through online dating. Heck there are 70 year old grannies finding decent men online believe it or not. Not only do older women have to deal with all the issues we younger women complain about (dumb opening lines, pervy photos, "not looking for … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/04/20 05:20 PM |
| 7 | HVM and HobbiesI agree. I couldn't care less if he makes furniture or gardens. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/04/20 05:00 PM |
| 2 | I was beaten for having confidence last night.I am so sorry for what is happening to you. I pray you're able to get out in a way that is safe for you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/04/20 04:46 PM |
| 4 | Is it just me or...The vast majority of single men out there are inappropriate matches for me. It's my responsibility to weed most men out until I find the one who is as intellectually and emotionally intelligent as me. A lot of men online lack emotional intelligence and it shows in their "hey cutie", "how are you?" "I'm from texas, u?" basic ass messages. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/20 06:52 PM |
| 15 | A Washington Post article subtly warns about the dangers of building a manAmen. :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/04/20 02:53 AM |
| 7 | Men that you're talking to in quarantine are lonely sacks of shits and/or they are the dregs of society.Tbh I disagree with this post completely. There are a lot of single women on this board. Are they lonely sacks of shit? There’s nothing HVW about these sorts of posts. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/04/20 03:33 AM |
| 4 | I had a phone screen with a LVM — always ask if he has kidsI think they will lie if given room to do so, and if you do it by text. Disarm him in a conversation- pretend to be Cool Girl, then ask. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/04/20 09:16 PM |
| 2 | I had a phone screen with a LVM — always ask if he has kidsjust fyi. there are porn videos on that website. Please take down. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/04/20 05:44 PM |
| 9 | I had a phone screen with a LVM — always ask if he has kidsExactly. Its not about being discreet. It's about faking neutrality. Ask in a way that communicates its not a big deal, so he feels safe telling you the truth. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/04/20 04:39 PM |
| 4 | I had a phone screen with a LVM — always ask if he has kidsWoah. Didn't even think about that. I suspect his leading photo was several years old too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/04/20 04:38 PM |
| 3 | I had a phone screen with a LVM — always ask if he has kidsYIKES. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/04/20 04:37 PM |
| 10 | I had a phone screen with a LVM — always ask if he has kidsI haven't figured out how to do it in messaging yet, because I want their guard down so they don't have time to figure out a response. After exchanging messages for about 4-5 days, I have them call me. On the call I flirt with them and ask where do you live etc. And Ill ask "do you live alone, do you have kids?" all while smiling. Im finding that to be effective. Get their guard down in first 10 mins of call, then ask the 1-2 questions you really care about while he's still laughing at your litt… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/04/20 04:34 PM |
| 3 | I had a phone screen with a LVM — always ask if he has kidsLMAO. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/04/20 04:29 PM |
| 4 | I had a phone screen with a LVM — always ask if he has kidsYikes. Talk about bad decisions all around. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/04/20 04:28 PM |
| 9 | I had a phone screen with a LVM — always ask if he has kidsUnprompted, he rambled on about how he's not looking for a mother for his kids blah blah. Im like is this MF stupid? The youngest is THREE years old. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/04/20 04:26 PM |
| 6 | I had a phone screen with a LVM — always ask if he has kidsLMAO | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/04/20 04:19 PM |
| 7 | I had a phone screen with a LVM — always ask if he has kidsOhhh good point! I asked if his kids lived with him and got the most roundabout answer. Not yes or no. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/04/20 04:18 PM |
| 17 | I had a phone screen with a LVM — always ask if he has kidsOMG. So true. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/04/20 05:44 AM |
| 87 | I had a phone screen with a LVM — always ask if he has kidsNo need to mention them 😂😂 Can you imagine any woman thinking this about her own children? I was speechless when he said his children don’t define him so you know why mention it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/04/20 05:26 AM |
| 11 | I had a phone screen with a LVM — always ask if he has kidsI get what you mean. Lesson learned! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/04/20 05:21 AM |
| 46 | I had a phone screen with a LVM — always ask if he has kidsI swipe right on men with kids occasionally. And be gone on dates in the past with one. I will say it takes a few points off, but isn’t a complete dealbreaker as I know it can depend on the guy. I want one kid and I screen for guys who also want children. But I love to travel and have a few interests I want to share with my partner. If he has 2 or more kids, that changes the kind of life we can have. It affects me financially because it means he can’t spend money on or with me on certain treats … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/04/20 05:17 AM |
| 31 | I had a phone screen with a LVM — always ask if he has kidsTo me that’s a little gaslight-y. If someone doesn’t answer that question, it’s not because everyone knows it means he has kids. I want to be careful not to blame the targets of those lies for not reading LV minds. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/04/20 05:06 AM |
| 14 | What does a HV relationship looks likeIt literally is one of the most disgusting things I can imagine a father say. Completely sick. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/04/20 10:04 PM |
| 7 | Ladies, level up and go to therapy....I agree with this. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/04/20 03:23 AM |
| 8 | So ladies, there has been a lot of focus on LVMs but what is your definition of a HVW?Lauren from Love Is Blind is a high value woman. She gives the vibe of someone who is very picky, but when she meets a HVM she's not afraid to be vulnerable, while being completely open about her wants and needs. She had her own career, took great care of herself, and has an interesting life that Cameron seems completely mesmerized with now.I know a lot of people are cynical about reality TV. But it is incredibly rare to see how a real life HVW handles a relationship. You normally don't get to k… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/03/20 02:06 AM |
| 8 | Experiences of having pick me friends?There's one that I've been ghosting, but she keeps popping back up. So I've started just ignoring her. She is a pickme for a lot of reasons, but I'll focus on the things that affect me in particular: - she constantly talked about how "we" need to go to "high-class" places like restaurants and fancy hotels to meet classy men.. - anytime we'd meet, she was way too interested in my dating life and in telling me about all the dates she is having or not having. It started to feel like humblebragging,… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/03/20 04:16 AM |
| 3 | Confession TimeI haven't been in a committed relationship in over a decade. Yet, you know what I don't feel as bad as I used to. Because I have a narrative. My narrative is that for all my life I have KNOWN that I would only be comfortable loving a certain type of man (HVM), yet for much of my adult life I haven't been the kind of woman that sees herself as ready to attract or deserve such a man. Now I do, and it's only in the past few weeks I've discovered this. So now, I'm ready. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/03/20 04:59 AM |
| 19 | Is anyone here watching Love is Blind on Netflix? Interesting from a FDS perspective!Mark is certainly not a high value man. He and Jessica are a match made in low value heaven 😁😁. *note, these are observations made from episodes 1 - 6 The minute he took her back after Barnett lost interest, he became at best Mid Value. HVM don't let themselves be played and certainly not on global TV. Even though she clearly has alcoholic tendencies, he is still there Mark is poor! He is living with roommates and in episode 6 his roomates describe him as someone who doesn't pull his own weight … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/02/20 06:52 PM |
| 1 | So... giving this one personal information (that he claims to not care about) would make me REAL aka a Pickmeisha! He can miss me with that BS.A guy I was talking to after reluctantly admitting he was in a relationship, decided to ask me 'when was your last relationship?' I refused to answer and told him that I only discuss that with people who are single like me. Then I blocked him. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/20 02:35 AM |
| 50 | Ladies, can we talk about Love is Blind on Netflix!?I'm just finishing Episode 3. I HATE Carlton. Withholding information about his sexuality, gaslighting Diamond in the hotel. I disliked him from the first episode. He kept talking about (in the confessional) how much he "deserves" a wife, and that he used to only date supermodels. Blah blah. And I noticed immediately that he said to Diamond that he thinks she would accept him like he is and love him unconditionally. WTF?? She isn't your mother. Trash. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/20 09:39 AM |
| 30 | 50/50: When did you realize it was a sham?Im proud of you for not having children with that bum. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/02/20 08:11 PM |
| 4 | How do I find a man in his late forties to sixty who still has an open mind/heart and actually likes women?You're right. Ignore the downvotes. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/02/20 07:36 PM |
| 2 | How do I find a man in his late forties to sixty who still has an open mind/heart and actually likes women?I have to agree with this, especially about looking feminine. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/02/20 07:31 PM |
| 2 | Ya love to see it 🗞 💁🏼♀️I also read Baggage Reclaim religiously for years and bought a few courses. But it's more theoretical than I need right now. FDS is practical and written by women who are currently navigating the dating scene. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/02/20 07:07 PM |
| 2 | He told me his intentionsJesus. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/20 01:59 AM |
| 26 | 500+ comments of women talking about how their bfs/husbands have anally raped them. "An entire generation of men have been ruined by porn"Hard agree. This doesn't sound high value tbh. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/02/20 08:20 PM |
| 2 | This CAN NOT be real.Ill bet they are Nigerian. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/01/20 08:07 PM |
| 25 | Does being with someone less intelligent make you a pickmeisha?intelligence does not equal brains or intellect. I feel like the first sentence 'Im more intelligent than my boyfriend' doesn't match the rest of the post. The things you mention dont show more intelligence. It just shows you're more intellectual. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/01/20 02:51 AM |
| -5 | I guess it's better to be cheated on, pickmeisha 🤷Explain how she is narcissistic? Especially compared to any other singer or musician as famous as her. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/01/20 02:35 AM |
| -5 | I guess it's better to be cheated on, pickmeisha 🤷Have you watched Homecoming? And you believe all her songs sound the same. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/01/20 02:35 AM |
| 14 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered (Jan 29th 2020)I agree. I think there needs to be a stickie about why people are assigned flairs and what they mean. If it's determined by the whims of individual mods, that's not good. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/01/20 02:29 AM |
| 24 | Pornhub gave American-Pakastani actor Kumail Nanjiani a 10 year subscription for being physically fitIsn't this guy married?? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/01/20 05:55 PM |
| 6 | The men in my city are trash so I hired an elite matchmaking service to set me up with men in better cities #levelupbitchesThe tagging on this sub is a bit unusual. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/01/20 04:24 AM |
| 4 | The Case Against Online Dating For WomenThis is immensely useful advice, looking at your hobbies that are a bit more competitive and gender-neutral | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/01/20 10:27 PM |
| 7 | The Case Against Online Dating For WomenAre you above the age of 35? There are many beautiful women in their upper 30s and 40s seeking a mate. I've heard a lot of valid criticism of online dating. But if you're thinking it's easy for mature women who are attractive to find a mate offline, you'll be dead wrong. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/01/20 10:22 PM |
| 2 | The Case Against Online Dating For WomenThis is absolutely brilliant. If I had gold, you will get it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/01/20 08:35 PM |
| 19 | Romance movies without obvious LVM romanticizing?Any true adaptation of Jane Austen books. Sense and Sensibility, Northanger Abbey, etc. There was a recent one called Love and Friendship thats available on Amazon Prime. I find movies aren't likely to go indepth the way TV shows are. I also noticed my favorite shows tend to be british. For some reason, they're more willing to write unusual story lines. There's a show I watched recently called Golddigger that was quite hilarious. Its about a 60 year old divorced woman who starts dating a 36 year… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/20 07:13 PM |
| 6 | How can I use the "single until married" strategy effectively?I don't think this is an official FDS principle though. Its one strategy that a few women on the internet (unconnected to this forum) say worked for them,but it is highly unusual. I honestly doubt that most HVM will go for this outside of unique cultures, eg. muslim etc- they have boundaries and they don't like being manipulated, just like we don't like it. The women who say it worked for them, do we know for sure that they are married to worthwhile HV men?. Thats my two cents. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/20 06:40 PM |
| 12 | What are some “boyfriend privileges” that you shouldn’t give a guy before you’re officially together?Here's a new one: WhatsApp!! I have decided that I will not let any man I'm dating casually add me on WhatsApp. It is faux intimacy and encourages low effort behavior. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/20 06:35 PM |
| 2 | As a woman who has really benefited from the this sub, I have some advice I've been nervous to ask at the fear of sounding overly materialistic.This is the most important question. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/20 03:04 AM |
| 1 | As a woman who has really benefited from the this sub, I have some advice I've been nervous to ask at the fear of sounding overly materialistic.Are you standard shaming? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/20 02:37 AM |
| 4 | As a woman who has really benefited from the this sub, I have some advice I've been nervous to ask at the fear of sounding overly materialistic.Interesting. the philosophy PhD is a bit of a yellow flag, but it's a subtle one. I'm yet to meet a man studying philosophy at the graduate level who isn't arrogant and quite sexist underneath. That he can't explain what his life work is to you in a way you'd understand is also a bit side-eye. But again, its subtle and may be nothing at all. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/20 02:36 AM |
| 6 | Of Course You’re Confused. You’re Clear.This is amazing and is exactly my problem. I actually think (and it seems she agrees) it's ok to mention that you're looking for a relationship when dating. A man who is looking for the same can recognize you then. It does require that you're someone who ruthlessly screens men. If your standards are high, you're emotionally clear, and you live in integrity (doing what you say you value), it is impossible for a LVM to try to fool you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/20 05:15 AM |
| 31 | As a woman who has really benefited from the this sub, I have some advice I've been nervous to ask at the fear of sounding overly materialistic.Have you actually asked him why he chose philosophy, what his plans are post-graduation, and how he sees the market for his skills? I feel like it's important to have these conversations directly, then make a decision. EDIT: Ok, given your follow up, I do commend you for thinking about these things now. One of the marks of a HVM is ambition, but it is tempered with being financially responsible and having the capacity to be a provider. It also includes being forward-thinking and having the capac… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/20 05:13 AM |
| 17 | Kobe Bryant Died......People feel sorry for his family because along with raping someone, he had a positive impact on the black community and by all accounts was raising strong and successful daughters. He also is someone A LOT of black men looked up to and grew up on. It is entirely possible to be upset about what he did and be saddened by his death in a helicopter crash. One doesn't actually even have to feel sorry for him to understand why others might. I understand the folks who don't care as much as I understand… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/20 05:04 AM |
| 2 | How do you Respond to those men saying "Women Working is a Capitalist Scheme meant to Lower Wages"?I don't need to respond because he won't get near me enough to utter such trash. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/01/20 04:46 AM |
| 1 | Last night, my coworker and her BF wouldn’t stop fighting in front of our friend group and I can see she’s breaking all of the FDS rulesI agree on being careful about off-hours socializing. Especially in this case because everyone's boundaries are out of whack. OP - if someone is jealous of you and asking her partner if he wants to go home with you, neither of them is your friend. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/01/20 04:24 AM |
| 21 | What are your thoughts on PIA?Reserved for marriage?? I hope you're joking. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/01/20 04:18 AM |
| 3 | Woman marries seemingly HVM. Then he turns into a LVM . A tale as old as time......did she say he seemed like a HVM in the comments? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/01/20 12:09 AM |
| 2 | this may be controversial - should FDS members re-post from MGTOW ?ooohh. You just made me realize Im like you. I don't watch horror films partly because Im chickenshit, but also because I don't enjoy seeing people abused for no real reason | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/20 10:30 PM |
| 11 | this may be controversial - should FDS members re-post from MGTOW ?Its definitely a balancing act, as I see the importance of dissecting the psyche of the LVM. There are a few different options I can think of: (1) extreme - ban all MGTOW, TRP posts 2) harsh - use peer pressure and downvote 😖 3) medium - have a flair for Misogyny and any post that includes screenshots from specific subs should have the flair so ppl know to avoid. Maybe we can also blur the OP so he doesn't get famous 4) light - include in the sticky something about this There are probably other … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/20 05:18 AM |
| 3 | this may be controversial - should FDS members re-post from MGTOW ?Ive linked your post in mine. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/20 05:08 AM |
| 5 | this may be controversial - should FDS members re-post from MGTOW ?lol I would love to see a content warning. NSFS - not safe for sanity 😉 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/20 05:03 AM |
| 12 | this may be controversial - should FDS members re-post from MGTOW ?I agree! Id rather see posts showing HVW and HVM behavior. I feel like the numerous posts about LVM just keeps us angry and is counter to the long term goal. If, as the wiki says, the majority of men are not going to be good partners for a HVW, its counterproductive to keep harping on things lvm do. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/20 05:01 AM |
| 9 | I was suggesting ways for my male friends to make his gf forgive him for something stupid he did, like surprise her at her place with a nice dinner or meet her when she leaves work with a bouquet or something, this was his responseThis | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/20 02:23 AM |
| 21 | What about me gives him permission to talk to me like this??? Just started texting this dudeYou're entertaining it. By not shutting it down once he mentioned butt, he took it as a sign that he could continue. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/20 02:21 AM |
| 7 | PickMeisha proposed to boyfriend and he literally runs away. 😭LMAO | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/01/20 04:10 AM |
| 11 | How do you find meaning after building your whole life around one day settling down with a man?I'd caution you that everyone needs to work on self-improvement. It takes decades and doesn't end. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/01/20 03:48 AM |
| 8 | LV dad doesn't know anything about his children, but of course Mom does. Read the comments for even worse stories about LV dads NOT EVEN KNOWING THEIR DAUGHTERS' NAMESYup. This is why from the get-go you have to screen for HVM. My father was really a high value man growing up. He would remember my friends' names for YEARS. It got to the point I'd have to tell him "I'm not friends with her anymore dad!" Even now I'm in my 30s, he still remembers the names of my high school friends. All I have to do is go "hey dad remember Fanta? My friend from school? She's a professor at MIT" and he'll be like "wow! that's a great school - Is she married?" 🤣 Important to note… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/01/20 03:33 AM |
| 6 | Don't send nudes. EVER.I had friend who took some 'tasteful' nudes a photography studio. She sent one of the photos to a guy she just met - they weren't even in a relationship! He started sending her porn in return 🤣. She actually complained about him only talking about sex now. We're no longer friends. This isn't even LV behavior anymore, its f*cking idiotic and not behavior I will allow around me, ever. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/01/20 02:57 AM |
| 13 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered (Jan 20th 2020)I feel like in the absence of more information, its hard to say cut him off. I'd be careful dumping men immediately for being human. If this is the first disagreement, its a yellow flag not red. just my opinion | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/01/20 12:07 AM |
| 6 | The “Hinge” dating and relationships app (among others) is bullshit.Hinge is trash. I like OKC the most because I can screen for intelligence better. I only swipe right on men who take the time to market themselves to women, without any immediate red flags like negativity. Even so, I end up rejecting 90% of profiles. OLD suuucks. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/20 10:24 PM |
| 6 | 21F who owns her own house is doing her 53 year old boyfriend’s homework (they met at Uni) and is now paying his rent after she convinced him to move out of his mom’s house. She’s also admittedly smarter and more mature.Exactly. She is on his level. Stop playing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/20 10:16 PM |
| 8 | Where's the lie? Tyler Perry movieshttp://imgur.com/gallery/tbQi1vb screenshot | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/20 09:47 PM |
| 1 | Parents expectations: race, culture, religionThis is an excellent point! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/20 07:25 AM |
| 2 | Asked me out for dinner and drinks and then told me he wanted sex. Was offended when I sent him a link to local escorts. Told me to apologize to him and then called me an as*hole 😂 didn’t screenshot the rest of the convo cause I reported him. Men think Tinder is a vending machine for sexLMAO! But i would have told him off once he demanded an apology and then blocked him. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/01/20 10:02 PM |
| 6 | Am I crazy of is this type of thinking extremely pathetic? Maybe she's a housewife, but damn. She's posting in the cooking sub praising her husband for eating her food. Slurping up the compliments from male posters.LOL. Ill eat it once in a while. And remember why I don't eat it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/01/20 05:20 AM |
| 10 | How long do you wait?20 mins max. Was this the first date? He really shouldn't be picking you up! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/01/20 07:06 AM |
| 3 | Freinds with benefits is over!Could we please stop with the graphic sexual descriptions? It's disturbing and unexpected. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/01/20 06:56 AM |
| 12 | All men are cheatersThis is low value thinking that causes women to settle. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/01/20 01:52 AM |
| 6 | He did something thoughtful for me.Yeah - I find it oddly infantilizing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/01/20 10:59 PM |
| 21 | If my husband doesn’t shower me with this amount of love, adoration and appreciation into our 50’s and beyond, I DON’T WANT HIM.How many items on the list of HVM qualities is Barack Obama notably deficient in? Give concrete examples. https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/e2gjzi/the_characteristics_of_a_high_value_man/ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/01/20 10:56 PM |
| 7 | i fOLloW cHriSTiAniTy - seen on OKCYeah - I don't think he's a real christian. I wouldn't be surprised if he believed he was though. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/01/20 04:28 AM |
| 11 | i fOLloW cHriSTiAniTy - seen on OKCThe text in the image - man in his late thirties (can't remember his age - was too distracted by the hypocrisy) decries 'anyone who changes their religion to suit their personal needs'. Then ends with his openness to poly and fetish. Do they even read their own words? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/01/20 03:29 AM |
| 2 | FDS Newbie, date was sneaky about being soberHaving self - control doesn't make one a narcissist. If you don't do drugs because you don't want to change your state of mind, are you a narcissist? Narcissism is about trying to control others and lacking empathy for others because you think you're special. Trying to control your own behavior for whatever reason isn't related. I think saying otherwise illustrates why the OP's date might worry about judgment | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/01/20 07:55 PM |
| 2 | Friendly reminder that LVW can be just as toxic to your life as a LVMJust seeing this. Im in a WhatsApp group of low value women. Ive been thinking about how to extricate myself for months. I think it's time to just do it. They will hate me. But they are making me feel bad about myself. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/01/20 08:35 AM |
| 17 | How to to weed out any LVMTo be honest, this seems a lot of unnecessary machinations that distract you from preparing for a HVM. The only worthwhile strategy is to swiftly identify and cut off low value men quickly. You cannot outwit a LVM. Its like thinking you can handle a narcissist. They are EXPERTS. You are just dabbling. Im fortunate in that I know a lot of decent men, but they're either married or not for me. But I'll tell you that the proverbial worthwhile man is turned off if you have a harem of dusties trailing… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/01/20 11:25 PM |
| 6 | This shit is honestly why OLD turns me right offI agree. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/01/20 11:21 PM |
| 1 | Advice needed : first two dates with what seems to be a HVM. I'm a recovered pickmeisha, fighting old reflexes.I apologize - I know I'm being impatient. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/01/20 09:25 PM |
| 7 | Advice needed : first two dates with what seems to be a HVM. I'm a recovered pickmeisha, fighting old reflexes.Could we please sticky the description of what makes a High Value Man? Its getting to the point I'm automatically skeptical when a poster refers to a guy she's recently met at HVM. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/01/20 07:21 PM |
| 40 | Has anyone noticed their pick-me friends hold the guys they're dating to a different standard?One of my 2020 resolutions is to remove from my life women who entertain toxic low value men and then whine about it. I'm sick of the lack of responsibility. A friend sends some risque nude photos to a stranger she barely knows, then complains that he only wants to talk about sex now. I feel myself getting dumber and shallower the more I listen to such. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/01/20 07:14 PM |
| 4 | For single women over 30 and up - how do you handle friendsDEAD @ church people. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/01/20 06:48 AM |
| 3 | For single women over 30 and up - how do you handle friendsOMG 🤣 She told him to marry her?? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/01/20 02:04 AM |
| 3 | LVM now targeting high value women..I think one of the easiest tells is how they talk about their last relationship. He cannot resist over time putting down his ex and telling you what she did wrong. If you believe that like attracts like, you will know that he is telling you "I recently put up with laziness, apathy and 'crazy' because that is home to me". One misconception a lot of people have is that they just need to find a partner that's better than their last fuckup. In reality, you need to become better than who you were and… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/01/20 06:38 PM |
| 10 | 7 Signs He's A F*ckboyThere was a fuckboy in my life briefly. I think he was interested in me to an extent, but I made it difficult for him to seduce me. He was really into cars and clothes and wore a fedora 🤣. The man was GORGEOUS - as in he looked like a model with the body to match. He was from Sierra Leone and had grown up in the UK. We were 'friends' briefly and made out once. Its weird, you'll think I would be all over him. But I kissed him out of curiosity and after that realized I didn't trust him. He was 40 … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/01/20 06:23 PM |
| 1 | Lisa Bonet (51) and Jason Momoa (40) together for 14 years. He said he’s been in love with her since he was 8 years old.Editted. The term "spring chicken" is derogatory towards women. It is a term used to shame women in their 30s and 40s into settling, by telling them (wrongly) that they are too old and not youthful. Amal was 36 when she married George. If you told a 36 year old woman to her face "you're not a Spring chicken" she will give you a well-deserved tongue-lashing. This sub is followed by women of all ages (including women in their 50s). Words matter. Its actually highly unusual for a 41 year old woman … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/01/20 05:52 PM |
| 2 | Share your goals for levelling up in 2020I'll try to keep this brief. My intentions in 2020 are to: Put everything bad that happened in the 2010s behind me. It's done now. I'm also investing time and energy in cultivating a positive and self-compassionate mindset Exercise at least 3ce weekly for 20 - 60 minutes. Got a gym membership already, and will also start walking when I don't feel like going to the gym. Lose body fat around my waist, shoulders and chest. If my current weight goes down by 10 pounds, that would rock, but the main t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/12/19 05:38 PM |
| 19 | Female Redditor describes her disgust at frustrated women who vent about unhelpful lazy husbands, instead of being disgusted by the men who act this way.This is my read too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/12/19 06:21 PM |
| 3 | Punishing LVMNow this I can get behind! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/12/19 01:32 PM |
| 1 | Raising kids is the easy way out?What is the evidence that stay at home moms (instead of working mothers) lead to high value men? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/12/19 10:45 AM |
| 11 | Male-Centered Dating Advice Directed at Women - A CompilationI would love it if you could post and extrapolate on your approach to online dating. I keep hearing conflicting advice, even here on FDS. Side note: I showed some new friends my online dating profile and they said my photos were TOO NICE and were intimidating men because I looked too put together??? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/12/19 11:16 AM |
| 3 | HVM to LVM in 3 days.Fair enough. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/12/19 02:21 PM |
| 12 | HVM to LVM in 3 days.I thought HVM was about more than gifts or expensive dates? I don't think its possible to know within one week of meeting if someone is high value or not. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/12/19 09:51 AM |
| 14 | Nice Guys, Here’s Why You *REALLY* Got Rejected.You forgot to add drinking coffee. Liking COFFEE is not a hobby, not a personality, not a value!!! Knowing the best coffee spots in town doesn't make you interesting . You're trying to attract a woman and of all the things you decide to write about , you choose to focus on how you have to be "cafeinnated". | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/12/19 03:06 PM |
| 9 | If a guy likes you, nothing will stop him from trying to connect with you.I wish this would happen for me 😢 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/12/19 02:59 PM |
| 18 | My male ex-therapist had some disturbing suggestions and I need feedbackIn my view women therapists can also be pickmes or be completely delusional about the dating landscapes. Ive had female therapists that were great to talk about work, friendships, family, bit when it came to dating they were completely put of touch because they themselves haven't online dated in recent months. They don't usually know what we're facing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/12/19 03:16 AM |
| 10 | My male ex-therapist had some disturbing suggestions and I need feedbackI have found that no therapist I've worked with values FDS. They excessively sympathize with men and imply that you'll be alone forever. I have had a lot of therapists - more than 10 - because Im so introspective and worry a lot. Any time I decided to dive into dating woes, I was prodded into ignoring my instincts, giving mediocre men a chance, dismissed as judgmental. Ill never forget one male therapist excessively sympathizing with a guy I liked who wanted to just have sex casually. Ive had ma… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/12/19 03:15 AM |
| 17 | My profile stated my love language is “receiving gifts”Don't communicate your 'love language' until the person being told has a reason to care. In actuality, Gary Chapman created the concept for married couples who are fighting and about to divorce. It really isn't a tool for checking compatibility with someone you just met. To me, telling a stranger (or someone Ive recently started seeing) my love language would be like telling them my favorite sex position, or what they should do if I seem depressed. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/19 11:53 PM |
| 3 | Letter reporting a loser to his churchWTF!! He deserves to be reprimanded. The letter is fantastic and communicates the issue well. Go you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/19 11:46 PM |
| 5 | What are your dealbreakers?You're not damaged. Most people aren't judging children of divorce. This poster is unique. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/19 06:38 PM |
| 9 | Changing what you’re attracted to changes the gameI love this! I'm not attracted to flakiness and indecision, therefore Im not attracted to FuckboiNo5. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/19 10:45 PM |
| 3 | I am learning so much from you all. How do I handle such foolishness?I disagree, and that's fine. I don't have to do things exactly the way you would. Not trying to be argumentative, but this is an important issue for me. It might not be intricate to you, because its an approach you're used to taking. For me, it would be incredibly disempowering. I would be ignoring my own non-negotiables (eg, every man in my rotation must be emotionally available / single) and my own values (every man must show himself acting with integrity in real time) to follow your own rules… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/19 12:35 AM |
| 2 | I am learning so much from you all. How do I handle such foolishness?To be fair, I don't think I caught 'oneitis' and I haven't lost anything of value by asking. I asked because I sensed something was up - and wanted to put him on the spot. Sure, some men lie about their status, but High Value Men don't. And I don't completely agree that he is honest - a honest guy would not ask for my number while in a relationship. Asking him doesn't give him any power - in fact it makes HIM uncomfortable, not me. If he had been single, it only would mean I was ok with him cont… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/19 05:53 PM |
| 3 | I am learning so much from you all. How do I handle such foolishness?You know it! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/19 05:40 PM |
| 41 | I am learning so much from you all. How do I handle such foolishness?I love this. Especially the part that some woman out there THINKS he's her boyfriend, which is not ok. He may even be married for all I know. 😨 Anyway, he's blocked. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/19 01:17 AM |
| 21 | Thought bumble would be a better alternative than tinder but never mindAh, so that's why Hinge has been disappointing me. A lot of the men choose the most boring questions that tell you nothing . "What's your love language?" 🙄 Guy1: Physical touch. Guy2: Physical touch. Guy3: Physical touch. Guy4: Im totally unique because I enjoy Physical Touch AND quality time. 🤣 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/12/19 04:02 PM |
| 73 | Thought bumble would be a better alternative than tinder but never mindHilarious! He really asked why!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/12/19 02:01 AM |
| 6 | 🚨Warning to all my immigrant/cultural/ethnic sisters in the western world: FOB men need to be strictly VETTED🚨I agree. I wouldn't date a FOB man. They are too sexist. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/12/19 01:21 AM |
| 1 | I shouldn't follow up, right?Thats what I thought. But I was smiling when I offered him my info, and I said "let's connect later". Im not an Instagram or snapchat user. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/12/19 01:15 AM |
| 1 | I shouldn't follow up, right?Ohhh. My undergrad was in Economics. I feel this in my SOUL. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/12/19 02:28 PM |
| 2 | Advice for recovering domestic violence victims?Im sorry you've had to deal with violence. Personally, I don't think FDS is the solution that will help you avoid abusive men. Think of it like regular exercise. Exercise has been known to improve some types of depression. There are lots of people who swear exercise is what cured their depression. But It would be wrong to tell everyone that is mentally unwell to just exercise. Further, some people may have a thyroid issue or iron deficiency causing their depression, which exercise won't solve. S… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/12/19 02:19 AM |
| 21 | I shouldn't follow up, right?I couldn't come up with anything else! 🤣 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/12/19 11:47 PM |
| 37 | Don't end up a starter wife.Im a developer. Worship for Elon Musk is a huge red flag. Its exactly like you say: unoriginal, and quite shallow. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/11/19 02:06 AM |
| 2 | Just FYI, not all dating strategies work the same way for all women...You were sociable and engaging. He told you to ask him out. I feel like your original post contradicts this scenario. You didn't ask him out first if he verbally told you to ask him! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/11/19 04:42 AM |
| 10 | PicturesHere's my view. If someone slaps a queen, she calls the police and makes sure the person never sees the outside of a jail cell. She doesn't jump on the person and get into a muddy brawl so that they BOTH get arrested and onlookers assume both were at fault. Also, consider that some of these men get off of disgusting & degrading you. By engaging further, you are playing his game and giving him exactly what he wants. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/19 06:03 PM |
| 9 | Queen Sh*t MegathreadFor me, this sub has been more of a realization that at my core I have been a potentially high value African woman who has let randoms in the Western world define for me what my standards should be. I have been reading the Dating Over Thirty sub for a year and initially thought, wow this is an opportunity for me to learn the best way to date, living in North America. The final straw for me was a thread where an unsuspecting woman talked about best way to enforce her new rule of no sex before 2 m… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/11/19 05:49 PM |
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter