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Malaine1 Archive

View 14 posts and 88 comments by Malaine1 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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5

Some will not date you because of your height, most won’t give a shit. Women that won’t accept you based on a metric like height aren’t worth dating anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/23 03:25 PM
3

Agreed.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 06:52 PM
3

My ex left me the house that I paid for (she is a good human and did not ask for much) Kinda tied in to 1 Yes and no. It’s a long , painful process going through divorce. You can try and skip stages but ultimately the process is the process. I think it varies depending on how long the marriage has not been viable. No children. I don’t think it sounds “mean”. Parents give their everything to kids and the job doesn’t stop when they are “adults” so there’s that. Always let yourself revaluate what y…
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 06:33 PM
1

Thank you. I appreciate this very much.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 04:38 PM
1

I just started sertraline again 3 days ago. No drugs, and don’t really go out of my way to drink. Tks for the response.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 03:59 PM
1

I am feeling sorry for myself. Wishing I did more with my life. You know how it can go.. My career is nothing great but provides and has a good pension (and in a lot of ways I really enjoy it at times!)Own a home. Gf. Dogs. I feel very lonely right now.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 03:58 PM
3

Thanks for writing to me. Much appreciated on what I perceive to be one of the lowest days in my life recently.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 03:06 PM
14

I’m sorry and know it sucks. It’s part of the process sadly. So give yourself some slack and allow yourself to be frustrated/pissed or whatever. Try not to drink as your go-to or use drugs. Coping.. coping.. Hobbies, workout, friends? I picked up pickleball with a random dude off Reddit and he turned out to be awesome! Take care of yourself in this time.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/23 11:22 PM
7

She moved on a while ago which I’m sure you’re aware of. I’m sorry you’re going through this. She isn’t worth getting back now, try to focus on your kid(s) (if any) and when you’re thinking of her journal about your feelings. Everything you’re feeling and thinking is very normal so try to recognize this is a long.. shitty process.. it DOES get better. This shit sucks and is the worst. We’re all here for you.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 12:11 PM
23

Hey there. I poke around on this sub and comment sometimes. You sound a little like me in that you acknowledge the end is here, but it is really difficult. You are thinking about how she could believe it is this bad, and you go through phases. Glad to hear you are going to therapy. What kind of hobbies do you have that are just for you, do you have a friend group, support system? I find oftentimes as humans were constantly trying to problem solve, figure things out, “why did she just leave?” The…
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 03:58 PM
1

Jesus Christ man.. sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/23 04:15 PM
3

The abrupt “adopt” with no context got me.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/23 08:45 PM
2

🤣
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/23 08:15 PM
7

It’s normal - they will subside though over time. Used to have really intense dreams in the beginning.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 06:06 PM
1

🤣
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 04:50 PM
6

Depends what you’re looking for. When I was first divorced I went to bars looking for intimacy only. I took bachata lessons (for me) and danced with women to live music and ended up getting numbers/dates. Then I dated for more connection. For this: Bumble, hinge, tinder. Have good pics (that aren’t selfies, 1 of you alone with a genuine smile, 1 with friends, 1 with your animal(s) if you have any, 1 doing a hobby) have a good bio. Finally I was looking for a ltr.. I suggest hinge as I met a wond…
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 03:36 PM
7

You got this - we’re all here rooting for you. And we all know the pain in some way you’re experiencing. I almost killed my self 2 years ago and glad I’m still among the living. I promise it gets better, dm anytime I’m sorry you’re going through this.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 06:06 AM
1

Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 06:28 PM
1

What kind of tea was it?
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 01:53 PM
1

Sorry brother - I think I represent all of us when I say you’re in our thoughts and are here for you.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 01:02 PM
20

I’m not trying to be rude, but this is a subreddit literally titled “r/Divorce_Men” is there a chance you can respectfully bring this elsewhere, there’s plenty of places you can go on besides here surely? Thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/23 06:14 PM
3

It’s an audio book I listen to every 1-2 months. Life. Changing. Of course not everything in that book is true about each man, but there is sooo much amazing information.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/23 11:43 AM
4

I never read the rational male. On this subreddit I did end up asking about the book and why it was important and got some mixed reviews. I strongly dislike polarizing belief systems (like I interpret red pill to be) as well. A good practice (post divorce) I recommend to individuals and something I love by is to try everything once. It brings you out of your comfort zone and helps you interact with the world better. The belief system I try to practice each day stems from books, podcasts, and a c…
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 05:05 PM
2

Yep!
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 04:29 PM
5

Your job is to have good boundaries and know what you will and won’t tolerate in a relationship. I’m also assuming you have your own hobbies/goals that will prevent you from focusing all/most of your energy on a relationship? To your second paragraph. A coupe of things pop up for me.. it’s more like what do you want in a partner? Because they’re all gonna have issues.. I think the important part is.. are they working on them? I’m dating an amazing woman right now who’s smart, sexy, funny, and ju…
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 01:59 PM
3

You are separated for a third time. Honestly man that’s all I need to read to tell you it’s time to move on. The woman I knew for 13 years (married 3) and I separated once and we both dated. We got back together and her needs/wants in life changed drastically. People think they know “woman code”. In my opinion after spending a lot of time dating different people… you gotta have value for yourself. It’s a mindfuck, but her respect for you drops when you are willing to take her back. Stop listenin…
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/23 04:34 PM
9

You are not fucked. You have a say in this and voice. It sounds like you’re unhappy in the marriage. what do YOU want to happen next? You will be okay no matter what. This is the first step in a potentially very long and difficult process. If you have close friends try to lean on them for support, and of course on here there’s some helpful stuff. Feel free to dm me.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/23 11:54 PM
2

Try to focus on other things, no sense in worrying about it. Easier said than done, but with time everything will heal. I don’t have children, but try to focus on your kids and yourself. Make sure you’re taking care of you so you can show up fur the kids. As far as what she’s doing- does it matter? One thing I will say with 100% certainty.. workout, read, go to therapy, get good sleep, and engage in a judgement-free hobby. Mine is gaming. I also lift weights, run, and go to therapy. You need str…
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/23 02:59 PM
6

It takes time to heal, don’t be too tough on yourself. Also, a good partner will be interested and want to listen/help not get upset. Make sure you’re cutting out porn, eat healthy, and workout. Do some hobbies you really enjoy. When it comes to the bedroom try not to think about outcome, just let the experience unfold for the both of you. Don’t focus on anything specifically. Savor your partners body, feel your own body and notice what turns you on. You’re a sexual being, and clearly your partn…
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/23 04:59 PM
3

Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 02:42 PM
2

It’s just maintenance to me. I used to enjoy running a lot more, but it’s lost the charm. I have a dog, play video games which I love to engage in. The truth is I love/hate living in my house post-divorce. I’ve made it it my own over time with decorations, repainting, etc. but it still feels like this place that was bought to house a family in a life I haven’t been in a long time. It’s enjoyable at times, but can be overwhelming. I’m dating someone and she is really cool, intelligent, sexy, and …
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 02:41 PM
2

Over a year now
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 10:00 PM
3

Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 01:36 AM
5

I got a dog and regret it - get a cat. Already had a cat before and wish I only had the cat instead of both. Dogs are a ton of work, and if you adopt (like I did) you can end up with one that potentially had special needs (mine is a 50/50 cattle dog lab mix so insane energy). On the flip side.. it is nice having a dog if you go for long runs like I do, and they’re very loyal/need you if you enjoy that.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/23 08:32 PM
5

Without any context I would say no.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/23 07:22 PM
2

I went through this. It gets better (and harder, lol) with time. Trust me. Divorce fucks you up really badly mentally. Try and be understanding with your body. Time will heal. Obviously the other men in here have some good insight into health concerns I have no idea about your physical health. And… I’m sure you may not want to hear this but maybe take some time before introducing a partner.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/23 02:17 PM
1

You need to have a big toolbox. Therapy, educate yourself on emotional intelligence, learn to embrace being alone before being in relationship, go to the gym/workout 3+ days a week, HEALTHY DIET, be with close male friends, and find hobbies/jump into them! There’s a lot more, and recognize you’re going to have ups and downs. This subreddit I’ve actually found has a lot of polarizing content, but is generally quite helpful. A lot of good men on here that have solid advice. Take care of yourself a…
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/23 06:02 PM
4

So… yes and no. How old are you, are you working out, do you have a therapist, how long has it been? Is the ED present by yourself, with a partner? I experienced ED for a bit after divorce, but I also was watching porn to the point it was incredibly destructive so there are so many factors. In terms of overcoming it. Divorce is fucking stressful. You question a lot of things about yourself. Be kind with your body as well. Make sure you’re eating well, working out, reading, try to just overall be…
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/23 09:32 PM
2

Everything in life is a risk, marriage is no different but can cost you huge. A lot of what the men on here are saying is true, the women we marry change over time.. could be years, decades, but they do. Isn’t that with everything/everyone though? In my opinion what you should do is get a prenup if you are set in divorce. This will assist with financial concerns. Anyway, my divorce was not rough… well mentally it was more tough than financially. Marriage is tough. It’s a lot of work, and doesn’t…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/22 09:49 PM
2

Thank you. They made it a point to isolate her while trying to reach out to me. Hard to create that boundary with them. It fucks with your head. Am in therapy on Tuesdays. I’m feeling a bit better after reaching out to close friends, and seeing your msg. Life moves forward and I’m right here for the ride. Sometimes it’s nice to be seen by other men as we have these intense struggles in life. My heart has moved on a long time ago, guess I’m just feeling the holidays a bit.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/22 02:56 PM
1

A month, nothing serious, stated what my wants were and met off tinder. The person was very nice, but I wouldn't do it over again I'm not really a one night stand type of individual. Some are.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/22 04:15 PM
4

First, I'm really sorry this has happened. It sounds like you have taken a step in the right direction by going to therapy as well. I guess it's really about what your expectation is in a relationship right now? What are you looking for specifically and perhaps question if you can give that to yourself in this time of grief. The other piece is.. you need to let people be them, and you be you. Sometimes things simply end and it sucks.. it succkkksss.. but it happens. You expressed you may pull ba…
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/22 04:09 PM
3

Hi there! Coming from a 13 yr relationship 3 married. I don’t know your guys situation but there is a reason she moved to a separate room. Make sure you understand the exact reason as to why you feel the want to reach out. I pushed my ex away more by “checking in”, and it just made things worse. You ultimately know what’s best for you guys, but as someone looking in I want to offer that piece of advice. Also - what are you doing to work on you as an individual? I found it’s sooooo easy to get ca…
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/22 08:09 PM
1

I WANTED TO SAY THANK YOU TO EVERYONE ON HERE (even the negatively loaded ones). I feel my confidence returning upon reading a lot of different posts, comments, replies, etc. thanks all. Looking forward to more.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/22 07:48 PM
1

I’m dating because I do want a long term partner, and I want my own children someday. I had dated casually for a while. Had a one night stand, dated someone more seriously but also going on dates with other women, dated for several months knowing I wouldn’t be in it long term. I actually feel like my confidence is almost tied to looking at relationships like they can and do fail? Does that make sense? And so now that I do care about outcome more.. I feel my confidence dwindling. I also have been…
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/22 07:08 PM
2

100% this man.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/22 04:53 PM
2

I’m glad to be reading your posts here. You sound a lot like me. Searching, understanding things can end but new beginnings can happen. Relationships are an investment, a risk, and can hurt you all at the same time. It’s crazy honestly.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/22 04:50 PM
2

Thanks for this. I’m just not engaging… I get there is a lot of individuals here from different walks of life. Jaded or not. I just don’t engage because it does nothing for me except feed into being defensive.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/22 04:49 PM
1

Thank you, this was really great to hear today. One thing I can feel myself doing is recognizing the desire to put the relationship on a pedestal. But how do I still communicate while trying to fight putting the relationship on a pedestal? I want to get out of my fucking head. I was out of my head for so long with this.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/22 04:45 PM
3

I want to write a longer response here. Just. Thank you for this. I really appreciate it. It’s a breath of fresh air honestly and just thanks. We are not perfect at this, but we do need good boundaries. I can feel my own boundaries being tested from time to time and will continue to work on them. It’s difficult feeling depressed I think while navigating a relationship. I hear you about the future as well. Thanks so much again I appreciate the response. Best of luck to you as well.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/22 03:37 PM
1

Okay.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/22 03:09 PM
1

Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/22 03:07 PM
2

That’s crazy though they have a kid on the way wow.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/22 02:57 PM
5

I don’t want to date casually anymore though. I enjoy the connection with another human very much. Closeness, sex, a friend, someone to go over your day with. I want children eventually. The only way that’s going to happen is if I date more than causally. I didn’t want the divorce from my ex, but understood why. She was unique in the sense that I kept my house (I paid for) even though she had rights to 50% of the equity for the duration of our marriage. The only thing she asked for was a very sm…
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/22 02:56 PM
8

Hi! This is really tough, and you will hear a lot of opinions/what you SHOULD do. Sometimes it’s good to talk with someone about these things, therapy, users on here, etc. Without knowing the full scope of your situation it’s hard to weigh in.. but I can agree with a lot of men on here… and you may not hear this fully for a long time. Try to focus on yourself as much as possible. Really think about the why’s of looking at her social media. The whole process SUCKS. It SUCCCKKKS. But there are a l…
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/22 05:59 PM
1

https://mensgroup.com You can create an account, pay for a month then cancel and still have access. There are a lot of really caring men on there that compliment all walks of life. There’s tons of support groups for divorce, anger management, etc. I’m in the New England area, and met a guy on the west coast that has been a life-altering friendship. Really great individual. Feel free to PM me as well, always lurking here to support!
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 12:29 PM
4

It’s really hard to say. You’ll get a myriad of different opinions. The general consensus seems to lean towards “stay away” if you’re looking for a short answer. If you haven’t already, there are a ton of threads on this specific question. If you’re looking for a more in-depth explanation.. from what I’ve seen/experienced marriage does not favor men.. especially men that earn large wages… so what’s the point, right? It’s a numbers game. I stay in my own lane usually, but post-divorce Ive learned…
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/22 05:55 PM
1

Really glad you wrote this up.. Been on and off 6 months out of divorce. Nothing feels right if that makes sense? Probably been on 20-25 dates with different individuals and I still feel like I may need to heal? Together for 13 years, married for 3. My therapist said it best though. He said “how long were you with your ex?” I answered, then he said: “ how long have you been dating this woman?” I responded “a month” simple, yet powerful. Anyway I digress, I don’t think I waited long enough despit…
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/22 04:29 PM
5

Tinder works for me. Just make sure you have a couple of really good pictures. Have someone else take your photos in a well lit area doing something you like. Smile! Feel free to PM me if you need any advice. I’ve had a good amount of success on tinder over bumble and pof.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/22 12:47 PM
3

Thank you all. I’ve been reading through your words through the day. Just.. thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 02:29 AM
6

I’m here. Thank you for the support.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 02:28 AM
2

Vermont
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/22 09:39 PM
2

I’m in bed trying to take enough Valium to work up the courage to end the pain. We have to want to help ourselves, right?
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/22 03:45 PM
1

I keep trying to believe in everyone except myself. Thank you for sharing your story, truly.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/22 12:29 PM
2

I'm in therapy currently, and he's trying to work with me. I'm having a lot of trouble accepting where the current life situation is. Any sort of nice thought I have is immediately ground down to a nub by my stupid thoughts. I want to be around stronger men than myself to learn from. A mentor of some sort, a friend, you know?
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 03:30 PM
2

I'm here. Sorry for my behavior. just in a lot of pain and dont know what to do next in life.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 12:59 PM
1

my cat stayed with me all yesterday and it was just so comforting having something warm next to me in bed. I tried to take all the valium but here I am again I guess. I just want the fog to lift.. and the only one who can do that is me.. im literally the only one. I don'tw ant to be alone.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 12:58 PM
2

The shameful part is I want them to help me, to live my life or tell me what to do next. I feel like I can't tell myself what to do next in life. I want someone to take care of me and that just makes me want to bawl. Why? Why do I want anyone to take care of me. 2 legs, 2 arms, a functioning brain.. I"M CAPABLE BUT BEING SO FUCKING WEAK ABOUT IT.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 12:57 PM
2

This applies to my mother when she passed. It is crazy how those waves continue no matter what. Thank you for posting this.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 12:56 PM
1

I don't believe in anything. Does that make sense? I believe in nothing. My wife was almost what I believed in.. that feels so fucking shameful to say. I don't believe in god, but I would like to believe there is something larger watching out for me, for us all.. is that enough? Is it really enough? I feel so alone right now.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 12:55 PM
2

I want to value myself but don't have any right now. I just don't want to hurt my family with me being gone either.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 12:54 PM
2

I wish it wouldn't but im here again today. At work. trying.. you know?
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 12:53 PM
1

Why are the thoughts this horrible though? Like why are they so intrusive and untrustworthy? It feels like the world is coming apart at the seams.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 12:52 PM
1

after 12 years.. she feels like my life, and then wasn't and then was.. and now this time I know it's over because I won'ttake her back even if she asked to try again. That feels so final and horrifyingly scary. How do I trust anyone else?
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 12:51 PM
1

What did you do mentally? Like each day what did you do to help yourself? This seems impossible to get out of the mind..
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 12:50 PM
2

I'm here. Sorry for my behavior. I'm scared.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 12:50 PM
1

What do you think is next though? This is really scary.. I'm like legit terrified of the next chapter in life. My thoughts are not trustworthy right now, and that scares me. I don't want to feel like I need someone, but damn this life is hard to navigate without a partner.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 12:49 PM
1

I'm still here. Sorry I am this way.. I made it into work today so I guess that's a small win. Just looking for something to look forward to you know? Seeing her stuff around the house is so painful.. and then what do I do? What is next? It makes me want to end the pain.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 12:48 PM
1

How did you do it? Like each day what did you do to change that mentality? I feel so weak like I can’t stand up to the world.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 12:24 PM
1

The divorce has to happen, I can’t keep doing this. It’s not right and has to stop. It’s the mental shit ya know? Sometimes it feels like a 1000lb fog has settled and I can’t see out of it.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/22 01:47 AM
2

Thank you.. I appreciate this. Part of no more mr nice guy seems to highlight a lot of things I was doing. Trying not to feel shame from that currently.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/22 01:46 AM
1

Thank you for this, I really appreciate. Sometimes I feel so damn weak in the face of the world. It feels like having an absent father figure looms heavy when things get tough. Started no more mr nice guy which is good so far. External pressures are really tough.. and can leave shame/guilt right on the doorstep where you have to sit and decide what to do.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/22 10:50 AM
1

Honestly this made me tear up a little. Thank you so very much.. thank you. Therapy is helpful, along with exercise and being able to talk on her with you all.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/22 10:19 PM
3

Thank you very much - would you be alright with me PMing you?
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/22 06:21 PM
2

Thank you for this.. I really appreciate it very much. It feels hard to trust again after this, and it's almost like it could have all been avoided. I was so sure there were no expectations from my end, and now here again ya know? I feel like a fucking idiot. Sadly, in the current state I don't feel like I can trust women anymore.. (I know this is just a feeling in the moment) but she was my best friend. And yeah I do feel really fucking used. Like I changed all my shit around and thinking and s…
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/22 05:55 PM
4

Thank you so very much for this response. It's very level-headed and as of right now it feels like I can't trust my own thoughts. I need to figure out the accountability buddy piece, do you have any suggestions for an online group? My best friend is amazing.. I feel bad bothering him with this shit again though. Honestly though, thank you very very much. I'm feeling quite alone right now in life, and feel like I want to just grab some whisky on the way home from work and play games grab the gun …
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/22 05:52 PM
4

Thank you for this. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/22 06:23 PM
8

While I don’t have children, please feel free to DM me if you just wanna talk. I’ve been on this subreddit for a while, and there are a lot of genuine folks on here with similar stories. You are not alone in this.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/22 10:32 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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