Shame and death

MNCPA · 2022-03-29T22:33:34+00:00

credit to /u/askingforafreddit

Talk it through with someone.

Text CHAT to 741741 to reach Crisis Text Line

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

r/SuicideWatch.

There are folks out there to help you through this. The biggest shame would be in not asking for that help first.

pegleg_legal · 2022-03-29T11:54:38+00:00

1-800-273-8255

Don't.

tygar2 · 2022-03-29T12:08:18+00:00

Don't do it man. Death is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Please call a helpline.

Basic_Advance7627 · 2022-03-29T12:42:08+00:00

I felt the same way. Everyone would be better off without me. I almost did it. NOT TRUE! For all the pain, I gained a life at 50. I gained a new beautiful wife who loves me completely. Hang on, this will pass!

Mister_Cranch · 2022-03-29T12:43:42+00:00

Every man going through a separation has had these thoughts, and those who’ve made it to the other side are glad they did, myself included. Your wife isn’t your life. You are not a failure.

Raul_Bloodworth · 2022-03-29T12:26:19+00:00

If you don’t want to use friends/family, use us on this sub. We got your back. These thoughts you’re having are dark but do occur often with men in our shoes. I guarantee many here have felt the same feelings you have today. They didn’t listen or act on them and you won’t either. Don’t do it. Killing yourself is not a viable option. I’ll be thinking of you today.

And tell that bitch to hire movers.

lostcanuck007 · 2022-03-29T12:42:39+00:00

:). You seem not to be able to see the opportunity you have. It's ok, not most people do. There is a special 4chan thread that has a special place in many people's heart. https://imgur.com/hixcG I have personally intervened in over 20 suicide attempts. This little 4chan thread gets to everyone and makes them see the light. I would sincerely advise taking the words to heart and thinking about them. Also your family and friends wont abandon you, they might end up making a few jokes about it, but honestly its them trying to get over the shock and make it seem normal to you and them. I would advise getting some prostitutes with the girlfriend experience, hug, cry, laugh, bang, who cares? she's paid to comfort you in any way you want and if you get a good repertoire, you can even ask her for some feedback and tips. It has always helped the people iv told to go through with that. And kindly don't bury yourself in work and video games, go to a few orgies, team sports, netball, rollercoasters, something that stimulates the limbic system. Take a month off work for your mental health, enjoy the summer, travel. Quit if they make a fuss, who gives a shit, you were about to end it all anyways. go to exotic beaches as a single man and see the sights, do all the stupid local stuff that would be illegal in your country. who the fuck is telling you that you need to sit in your house, in your state, country or in your current predicament? I would advise doing all this before you go through with your suicidal wishes. I however would say don't kill yourself, but you know you better, no one on a random forum is going to be able to stop you. Good luck and i really hope you figure it out without having to end it. There is a better reality, you just need to let yourself accept it.

monster_dutson · 2022-03-29T13:11:12+00:00

Please do not underestimate the hole your absence would leave!

Fin4llyBre4thing · 2022-03-29T12:23:53+00:00

Call the number. Get help. The pain is temporary even though it is consuming you right now it will get better. Praying for you

thefudmaster · 2022-03-29T13:24:16+00:00

OP, get help. No woman or person is worth your life.

Adiesel25 · 2022-03-29T14:06:43+00:00

Please know that grief and sadness come in waves. You’re going through a big wave right now, it’s going to get better soon. Just keep your head above water. Please read the below link, it can help you.

https://thelossfoundation.org/grief-comes-in-waves/

askingforafreddit · 2022-03-29T14:40:53+00:00

Talk it through with someone.

Text CHAT to 741741 to reach Crisis Text Line
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
r/SuicideWatch.

There are folks out there to help you through this. The biggest shame would be in not asking for that help first.

throwsadaccountxxx · 2022-03-29T12:48:45+00:00

I feel this in every way. Keep fighting! Stop shaming yourself. A lot of men including myself are in this process. My ex did the same. I moved her out after she shattered our family, you'll learn from that, you'll stand your ground.
There's always gonna be someone here to talk to you, hold on mate.

orcapuca · 2022-03-29T13:05:38+00:00

which country / city are you in, rn?

don't give up. We are all on the same boat and we shall overcome this shit someday. dont let them win. Death isn't the solution.

Your friends and family are there with you. Dont hesitate to reach out to them, even if it's your 100th separation - that's what friends are there for.

CropCircle77 · 2022-03-29T13:40:24+00:00

Spend some more time petting your cats and spend less time thinking about your gun.

shortda59 · 2022-03-29T13:55:15+00:00

don't do it brother, plz

Background-Street416 · 2022-03-29T14:41:31+00:00

It really does get better bud. I’m a year and a month out of my second and most painful divorce. Things are not perfect, but I am starting to get myself together and I feel better from month to month. It’s just right now, you’re in the shit. Be strong. It’s like Rocky said, “It’s not about how hard you can hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and still stand up.”

Federal_Cry_1146 · 2022-03-29T15:31:21+00:00

Dude I went through this and felt the same way and it passes I promise you! You haven't failed in life. But failure itself it part of life. Everyone fails in something. Look at it as an opportunity. Focus on you and explore what makes you happy. Reach out there are so many people willing to help and help you realise there so much more to life than 1 woman. Please call and resch our literally anyone.

warrior_up · 2022-03-29T15:40:10+00:00

Bro. You’re talking to hundreds of thousands of nice guys that went through the divorce machine. I’m sure there’s a lot in life you have to be grateful for that many people don’t.

Just a moment in time, not even a chapter - it’ll pass and you’ll come out stronger like the rest of us. Don’t quit this early, you’ve got more to do

Classic_Dill · 2022-03-29T15:49:34+00:00

Sooo, you think you're all the trouble in your marriage? look, maybe your a nice guy..but SHE chose to take advantage of you, you were the same person before the marriage, she knew that and hung onto you to use you like a slave. That's not your fault, she was a massive user. You're lucky my friend, you know your bad habits, now go learn to correct them and you will do much better in the next relationship, but you cant take all the blame, she married you to use you. Killing yourself ends your book before you know how its supposed to end! you may have a great future in the next couple of years, lets finish your book, lets see what the next couple of chapters have to say.

Third_Eye78 · 2022-03-29T16:08:38+00:00

Please call someone to speak to. Divorce sucks but life definitely gets easier and better.

textredditor · 2022-03-29T16:43:32+00:00

I can tell by reading this that you're a smart, capable, and introspective man. You have all the elements you need to get yourself out of this. With your mom dying and shit you've been through with your father, you've got the strength to pull yourself out. Dig deep C, it's there, I promise. I'm here to talk if you want to talk. Just DM me.

Remarkable-Potato21 · 2022-03-29T17:38:35+00:00

This group is here for you. This post is a step forward in your journey. Life is never easy. It is worth the pain to get to feel the joy. Everyone that commented has either been there or felt what you have felt. Dm me if needed. I know I've felt shame, guilt and lose of purpose strongly recently. Do not give up!

Mavik52 · 2022-03-29T18:33:39+00:00

A majority of the men on this thread have been where you are right now. It's a darkness that is hard to describe. Try and step back for just a moment and shift your perspective. You have an incredible opportunity right now. It's hard work being a provider, but a patient and loving father, an attentive partner. Most of these roles we engage in can be very demanding. Satisfying when everyone is happy and things are running smoothly. Depressing when the family is unhappy and things are rocky. By the time you are on this sub, it's a low you didn't know existed. But real strength, the strength that matters, is being able to sit where you are and recognize you are more than enough. That no matter how many mistakes you have made you can correct them. Real strength is taking a step back from where you are and stopping. Take some time to recognize where you are and just accept it. Feel it. Embrace the pain. Embrace your failures. Stop thinking, just feel. Drop into it. You will quickly realize that you can handle it. You are strong enough. Then you can get to work with coming up with small steps to start making your way out of the hole.

SuspiciousMeat6696 · 2022-03-29T22:31:52+00:00

She's not worth it. I briefly felt the same during mine. I had lost my job, my house, my wife, and to top it off, my dog died. All happened at once.

I felt like ending it as I was left homeless relying on the kindness of family & friends. Living on couches, sleeping in basements while she bought a new house.

I had thought of doing it, but then why give her the satisfaction. I vowed to live & rebuild my life to spite her. Then decided to do it for me.

Got an offer from a friend to move out of State & start over. Sold my car, bought a truck & moved 1,000 miles away.

It's taken a while to get over 30yrs of marriage, but I seriously don't care about her anymore.

Don't do it.

fewdo · 2022-03-29T23:06:52+00:00

Hugs How are you?

DJWG · 2022-03-29T22:37:26+00:00

Mate. Stop. Dont be that guy.

https://alphacodetraining.com/landing

This will turn you around brother. I was were you are and I'm now I'm helping men like you see the value and esteem they really do have.

Weedwillmakemerich · 2022-03-29T23:40:37+00:00

I know it's thought, we all know what your feeling. It's good to look into yourself and see wear you might be at fault. But you can't stay there. Talk to someone, get help, work through the issues. This sucks, you can't change it, I know you want to, I want too, but you can't. All you can do is build yourself into person she thought you were, or maybe the person you forgot you were.

live_long_n_prosper · 2022-03-30T08:30:34+00:00

dont kill yourself, kill the ego, the ego is what is trying to convince you, please read the power of now, and never underestimate the hole your absence leaves

dc080 · 2022-04-03T06:52:54+00:00

Hey man my wife left me and I was almost at that point. I’m now at the point where her leaving as made me the best man I could ever have wanted to be. There is hope. You got this and keep strong. You wanna talk?

OchoZeroCinco · 2022-03-29T16:40:25+00:00

At least find a good home for the cats first!

bacon-wrapped-steak · 2022-03-30T06:15:22+00:00

Hey brother, don't do it please. Time heals all things. My ex destroyed my family and permanently took my children away from me about a year ago. I still resent her, but I am perfectly fine on my own and things keep getting better each and every day. You've got this!

I would highly encourage you to attend to church, learn about God and His creation. The support that you will get from a strong church community is unlike anything else, as well.

Historical_Hornet594 · 2022-03-30T10:43:47+00:00

Not worth it man. Get yourself some professional help. It's not about the life you had it's about the life you want and you now have that opportunity to make it what you want. Your stronger then you realize and ending it doesn't help anything and will just cause more hurt to those around you.

OraleEse13 · 2022-03-31T11:42:29+00:00

I was always the nice guy, to, and my ex abused the fuck out of it. She would never reciprocate favors, etc. Now, I am anything but Mr Nice Guy. I'm pretty ruthless now, actually.

Title	Shame and death
Author	Malaine1
Upvotes	26
Comments	65
Date	March 29, 2022 11:52 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/tqy0rw/shame_and_death/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/shame-and-death.1109610 https://theredarchive.com/post/1109610