~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 267 | On "Roasting"I found this comment on the internet that is on point, too. And I thought it would be good to post here because they mention the pressure to be a "cool girl" that is often talked about on this sub. "Have y'all noticed that narcissistic men are calling insults, verbal abuse, and degrading language 'roasting' now? They are looking for a woman who will 'roast' them they say. They roast 'each other' they say, as a joke or bonding activity. I see this is becoming popular, and I wonder if women are fa… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/22 02:31 AM |
| 1 | What are warning signs that the man may become physically abusive?-Jokes about hitting you, fighting a woman, punching her, etc -In the same vein, men who feel like constant "roasting" or insults disguised as jokes, should be a normal part of a relationship. Many of these men have underlying hostility towards you and women in general.. This is way beyond a little witty banter or lighthearted teasing. They're telling you how they really feel about you. Please listen. -May seem like a stretch but liking or sharing those immature tik tok/instagram/youtube videos … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/22 01:56 AM |
| 2 | Men Who are Still Friends With their ExesI agree that those are some scenarios where it may possibly be ok but he was married to this woman just a year ago, as far as I know they had no long term friendship before they were married. It isn't a childhood friend or gf..he was around 30 when he married her. Also I think it's more of a red/yellow flag for men than women. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/10/21 02:03 PM |
| 8 | Men Who are Still Friends With their ExesFor context: They were only married for a couple of years..and have only been divorced for like 1 year. As far as I know, they weren't friends before their marriage. He also told me that anyone he dates has to be ok with his friendship with his ex. It seemed pretty demanding and like she would a priority. He was pretty upfront about it..which I appreciate his honesty I guess but I still don't like it. I got the vibes that he was not over it...the way he talked about her & the "friendship". He ev… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/10/21 01:04 PM |
| 30 | Men Who are Still Friends With their ExesYes that's one of the (somewhat) exceptions I was thinking of..I personally don't date men with children but if I did, I would expect them to have a regular amount contact with their child's mother. Even then I'd prefer them not to be best friends, though...and would still need appropriate boundaries...but I'd expect them to be closer or more involved in each others' lives than exes without children. Also I'm sorry for your loss 😔❤ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/10/21 04:02 AM |
| 58 | Men Who are Still Friends With their ExesYeah whenever exes or random guys I've dated text me "Happy Holidays" or something like that out of the blue (meaning we haven't been talking recently), I roll my eyes. Definitely minimal effort mind games or attempts to string you along. But I don't care because I probably already deleted their number anyway. The same guys do the "just checking on you" "Long time no see" "Hey stranger" messages...They do similar things with "good morning" texts too. They want something for their "effort". So mu… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/10/21 03:51 AM |
| 194 | Men Who are Still Friends With their ExesOmg yes the ones who say "I'm friends/close with all my exes" always gave me the creeps. Immediate red flag. Are they trying to build a harem of women or do they always need a backup supply? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/10/21 11:58 PM |
| 35 | "WIFE 💍"This is a very good point and made me self reflect a bit. I didn't mean for my post to come off like that. I am a soft hearted person and I think that's beautiful that women care so much for others and am not saying that it's bad to have your family be a priority in your life or ONE of the things you define yourself by, but for many women it's pretty much the main or ONLY thing and that can be quite dangerous and also lead to burn out. I can tell that some women cling to the wife and/or mother t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/10/21 03:52 PM |
| 15 | "WIFE 💍"I'm not even a woman who puts her career above everything. I'm just saying every woman should have passions, hobbies, qualities, unique characteristics, SOMETHING that makes them...them. Having a husband or children should not be your whole personality or the only way you define yourself. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/10/21 03:37 PM |
| 10 | "WIFE 💍"It's a bit bizarre to me sometimes, y'all. Some women could be a New York Times Bestselling Author or a world record holder and they'd probably still put "WIFE" first. 🤔. I think love can be a beautiful thing (if he's not low value) but the conditioning runs so deep. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/10/21 03:34 PM |
| 260 | "WIFE 💍"🤣🤣🤣 I really laughed out loud at the bible verse and baby emojis 🤣. Spot on. Edit: I can't say I'll never do the baby emojis though 😆 just not first. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/10/21 06:39 AM |
| 7 | Stop calling women girls!I hate when people use female in certain contexts. If it is an adjective ( "female entrepreneurs" "first female Olympian" etc) that's fine. But if they talk about how they were hitting on a "female" the other day or they posts memes about how "Females always say/do XYZ" then it's a no for me. For a lot of people (mostly men and pick me women) it's another way to call someone a bitch and be misogynistic. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/21 08:25 PM |
| 13 | Stop calling women girls!I admit, I say "girl" when referring to other young-ish women sometimes (under 40 or so?). Honestly sometimes it's interchangeable to me because I use woman/women just as much. I call men "guys" a lot too and I consider that the same thing. Sometimes they're men; sometimes they're guys. Also a lot of women use it as a term of endearment when speaking directly to other women. Example: "GIRL, that dress looks amazing on you!" "Girl, you can do way better than him", "Hanging with the girls/my favor… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/21 04:17 PM |
| 21 | They always tell on themselves on Twitter … VileNot to get too off topic, but how do you know if someone who is not approved replies to your comment? I thought we just couldn't see it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/09/21 05:26 AM |
| 383 | There’s no way these ladies are serious…🙃Ew NO. Wtf. I saw a meme that basically said: "Men think that jokingly asking us to do domestic tasks for them is flirting...example: 'you gonna cook for me'?" This is not flirting. It's not cute. It's definitely not a date. The idea of cleaning, washing clothes, cooking, etc for a man does not turn me on... I get turned off by the man's entitlement to even ask that or think I should be honored he asked that 😑 Chores are not sexy..they're just something you have to do in life...but I'm definitel… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/21 02:48 PM |
| 4 | Can we talk about men who act like they are doing women a favor by objectifying them?I disagree that boudoir modeling and photography in itself is pornography. I legitimately know women who it helped get back in touch w their sexy side (esp some moms or older women..though others never lost touch with that side). I also know actual models who enjoy embracing that side of themselves. It can make you feel sensual, and like a Goddess. There are women boudoir photographers who do a phenomenal job. It does have to possibility to be pornographic or predatory if a male (be it your sign… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/21 12:34 AM |
| 22 | When he says you're out of his league... time for you to tell him bye.Ahhh, yes. The classic "I'm an asshole". I have a love/hate relationship with this one. On one hand, who told them this was a badge of honor? Men will seemingly brag about this, even in their dating bios. On the other hand, I am glad they are telling me who they are upfront, so I can run the other way immediately. The problem is many women (especially younger ones) will think it's cute, appealing, funny, or they can change him. No. He really is an asshole...well, probably something worse. The se… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/09/21 02:44 PM |
| 117 | When he says you're out of his league... time for you to tell him bye.Oh yeah this could also mean he's just not that into you and is making excuses for why it won't work. Either way you should avoid. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/09/21 10:47 PM |
| 394 | When he says you're out of his league... time for you to tell him bye.Yep! Learned this from experience. I used to try to make men feel better or soothe their ego after they said this. Other variations may include: "you're too good for me", "I don't deserve you", and sometimes "It's not you; it's me". When someone shows or tells you who they are, believe them. Stop trying to rewrite the story to what you want it to be or trying to prove him wrong. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/09/21 10:36 PM |
| 12 | Be careful out there with these hobosexualsYou should have seen the range of emotion on my face as I was reading this. 🤔😬😑🤣🤢🤮🤔 Like...what? I am genuinely confused as to how someone would ever allow this or think it's a good idea. I mean, I've been a pick me before, but not like this. Wow. Talk about lack of boundaries. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/09/21 07:40 AM |
| 15 | How much will having a low value father affect your chances with a high value man?Thank you. That's exactly what I do...talk about my father in a neutral way....I don't praise him and I don't trash him. Even if I open up later, hopefully it will shine through that I've worked on myself and it's not something they can use against me. A long term partner will find out some parts of my backstory eventually, whether I like it or not, but I just want it to be known that I've made an effort to break free from my upbringing and build my self worth. I've dealt with predatory men (nar… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/09/21 03:02 AM |
| 63 | Bad... But not unexpected... 💔😞 Ugh. This is heartbreaking. For her, her family, and all the women like her whose stories were never told. Some people were saying maybe they had a fight and he just left her in the middle of nowhere, so I still had hope that she was alive, even if I knew it was unlikely. It's blatantly obvious, now, that he murdered her. Why else would he refuse to talk to police and then go on the run/ into hiding? I hope he lives a miserable existence for the rest of his days. It's especially chilling to th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/09/21 01:52 AM |
| 40 | How much will having a low value father affect your chances with a high value man?Ok so it's not just me! I was worried this question was too oddly specific and I was overthinking.. but then again it's probably a common concern. It seems most of the women I know of with high value men also have high value fathers and supportive families...and that can be discouraging. Hopefully someone can help us out here. We need answers 😄 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/09/21 01:40 AM |
| 27 | How much will having a low value father affect your chances with a high value man?I meant more along the lines of if you (the woman) are the one with the low value father or family...if that will affect how will a high value man sees you? (Due to how your father treats you). Both of my parents are problematic but my dad isn't that harmful now that I'm an adult and have put the distance between us (My dad usually leaves me alone except when I see him occasionally..my mom is another story..she's more actively harmful/toxic and attempts to get attention/narcissistic supply). I d… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/09/21 01:23 AM |
| 7 | Female psychologist wants to normalize Stay-At-Home DadsDamn; THIS. Excellent point that I've never really thought of. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/09/21 06:51 AM |
| 17 | Female psychologist wants to normalize Stay-At-Home Dads1000% Facts. I'm disgusted at the thought of stay at home dads becoming a common thing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/09/21 06:49 AM |
| 163 | Anyone notice guys get uncomfortable if you want to stay at home after kids?This may just be me..but I'm not going to lie; I get a little jealous when I speak to women who don't even have children and their husbands are ok with them staying home, pursuing their passions, and/or doing part time or flexible work...all because they love them and just want them to be happy and fulfilled 🥺❤. Where do they find these men? A lot of men are so selfish and hateful they'd rather a woman who was making significantly less than them still pay 50/50 and stress herself out, just so th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/09/21 06:29 AM |
| 167 | Anyone notice guys get uncomfortable if you want to stay at home after kids?THIS!! They don't care about the fact that you need to be emotionally and physically available for your child. Dads like that are why so many people are messed up now. 🙃 And the part about they just hate women and don't want us to have anything. Even if that thing is a difficult job like raising a human...just without the added stress of working outside the home. Men like that do see it as a privilege for a woman and they are generally selfish and probably should never get married or procreate. … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/09/21 06:24 AM |
| 99 | Anyone notice guys get uncomfortable if you want to stay at home after kids?YES!! Ugh. I am still unsure about children but if I do have one (or two) it is very important to me to stay home with them for the first few years, at least. I want to be able to bond with them,, make memories, teach them things, and do enriching activities with them. I don't want to be burnt out from a 9 to 5 or missing out on valuable moments (I despise corporate America anyway though lol). I know myself and if I try to do it all at the same time, something/someone is going to suffer. Plus ch… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/09/21 06:14 AM |
| 11 | Avoid using OLD to meet menI hate that women on OLD are stereotyped as leftovers, desperate, or unwanted by other men. Honestly it's kind of hurtful and infuriating. The way men treat you as if something must be severely "wrong" with you just for being on OLD especially if they consider you attractive. There are many reasons someone could be on OLD sites/apps. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/09/21 06:46 AM |
| 2 | You Don't Always Have to Hold Yourself to the Same Standards as MenTHIS!!!! People pretend they don't understand the deeper and simply practical reasons some women desire these things. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/09/21 10:18 PM |
| 17 | You Don't Always Have to Hold Yourself to the Same Standards as MenThis is exactly what I meant. You summed it up. I feel that it's extra important to reconsider men w mental illness if you have one or more yourself. I prefer my significant other not to ( I'm open to mild anxiety or something along those lines) because as cliche as it sounds, honestly I need someone who can be my rock during tough times. I'm not saying all men with mental illness are unstable, but two people with at least moderate mental health issues could be a recipe for disaster. I am super … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/09/21 04:25 PM |
| 43 | You Don't Always Have to Hold Yourself to the Same Standards as MenI agree but I'm thinking more along the lines of long term mental illnesses that don't just go away. Even if my mental health is something I'll have to manage for the rest of my life, I personally wouldn't date/ seek out a new relationship if I was in a particularly bad place. I don't feel that would be good for anyone. That's why I made it a point to say I believe in self awareness and self improvement...I also believe in getting these issues at least somewhat under control before seriously dat… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/09/21 07:05 AM |
| 39 | Scrotes really think they are entitled to do whatever they want in public spaces no matter how annoying it is to everyone else.The worst is the people who don't even wear earphones. People will literally blast their music, youtube videos, etc on their phone or even a speaker, on a train/bus, at the gym, a quiet hallway, or even a grocery store for everyone to hear..some people said they do it inside the bank, too! Wtf? Grrr. I hate this with a passion. This behavior is truly bizarre to me. Seems to be anti social, mal adjusted behavior.. I notice a lot more men than women do this. They can't be that clueless...it strike… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/09/21 03:26 AM |
| 182 | Why? Just why?Ugh. This has happened to me before. When I was doing Online Dating, a guy told me about all the things women did with him on or before the first date. He would slide it into the conversations in the most subtle ways and make it sound like they were just so eager to sleep with him and he keeps meeting girls who just want sex. I should have cut him off right then, but I eventually cut him off because I could tell he was losing interest after the 3rd date with no sex. LOL talk about projection. HE… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/09/21 03:13 AM |
| 9 | Saying "I love you"I think both are ideal, though...well, necessary for me..He should be able to tell you he loves you AND he should be to show you as well. A lot of us need, or at least appreciate that verbal reassurance, and just to hear kind, loving words from our significant other in general. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/09/21 09:10 PM |
| 89 | Saying "I love you"I usually wait for him to say "I love you" first, and strongly believe in this for women. That's not to say you can't be warm and loving towards him til then if you feel he is deserving, but I don't think you should clearly state that you love him until after he says so...and after you mean it. (And of course don't do "wife things" as a girlfriend) I know one woman who said I love you to her bf and he didn't say it back til months later (I think a year into the relationship?). I can tell he's no… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/09/21 02:53 PM |
| 22 | Men Who live With Parents or RoommatesIt's also a compatibility issue for me. I moved out at 18 (toxic home but also went to college)..and except for a couple of summers and a brief stint in my early 20s, I haven't lived with my parents since. I doubt I'd be compatible with someone who never left their family home. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/09/21 05:01 AM |
| 30 | Men Who live With Parents or RoommatesYeah that's my thing. I'm not dating right now but when I do/am it's for a serious relationship (with a HVM) that hopefully, eventually leads to marriage. That type of situation does not seem sustainable or conducive to the type of relationship I want. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/09/21 04:46 AM |
| 8 | Men Who live With Parents or RoommatesYeah California is ridiculous and more expensive than most. I don't automatically look down on men who have a roommate (or multiple) as a terrible human or anything lol because I know what it's like to need roommates or at least one...most of my adult life (so far) I couldn't afford to live alone. I just look at it differently when it comes to men I'm dating, due to the possible negatives mentioned and I like men who are able to provide if things get serious (even if I'm making my own $ too) I'm… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/09/21 04:28 AM |
| 78 | Men Who live With Parents or RoommatesWhat about men who can more than afford to live by themselves but choose not to? Not even to save money for something important, just because they don't want to live alone. I kind of side eye that because I met a guy like that and the reasoning just seemed kind of immature/not what I prefer in a man I'm dating. I don't really like men who aren't independent/can't do anything alone. But yet he was still trying to date and sleep with women, and had the nerve to be be mad that after dates I didn't … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/09/21 04:19 AM |
| 23 | Men Who live With Parents or RoommatesGeez, 2 million for that?!! I mean I've lived in some cities that definitely weren't cheap and it seems most of the U.S. has a housing crisis as well..but most cities here are not THAT bad where that's the only thing you can find. In that case, I feel it's generally more understandable to live with family as long as people are doing something with their lives. Cities like San Francisco, CA in the U.S. are extremely expensive like that where to buy even the smallest house anywhere in the city its… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/09/21 04:07 AM |
| 3 | Stop telling these men what your idea of a HVM is, LVM/NVM love to pretend to be HV and you just gave them to blueprint what HVM is to you.Sometimes they still try to get me to elaborate or ask a more specific question about what kind of guy I like. I'll either reiterate my original statement of "I'll know it when I see it"/"it's hard to describe" or something along those lines..or I'll give a vague answer that doesn't give instructions on who they should pretend to be. For example, my favorite vague but truthful answer to this is: "I'm hoping to meet someone genuine who I connect/mesh well with" lol But they don't know how I can t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/09/21 08:23 PM |
| 3 | I hate how "similar" men on OLD platforms areOh God, yes. THIS. I don't even like that type of guy. They're so boring and generic. This is even worse depending on where you live. I live in a city full of a lot of "basic bros"...Ex frat types whose interests include the gym, beer/breweries, and being a crazed sports fan. They're the ones who post photos of them doing something stupid at a party on their OLD. Loud, extroverted, showing off their abs etc..(I really don't care about abs or how much they can benchpress..though I prefer them to … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/09/21 08:06 PM |
| 3 | Why are so many men on OLD “just passing through?”Online Dating | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/09/21 07:44 PM |
| 12 | It's peak PUA season. Be on alert at all times!🤣🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭 This made me laugh so hard because my mind went there, too. It kept going back to that but I had to remind myself of the original acronym. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/09/21 09:41 PM |
| 74 | I feel that I’m always walking on eggshells with you.These comments were spot on and helped me to realize the only people who ever said this to me were highly narcissistic. My mother and one of my exes. They hated when I put up a boundary, or even simply had a reaction and showed emotion. They wanted to make me feel unreasonable, "too sensitive", like I was a stick in the mud, "can't take a joke", etc. Instead I was just having a normal reaction to their BS. They just want to bulldoze all your self preservation attempts | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/09/21 05:33 AM |
| 87 | Stop telling these men what your idea of a HVM is, LVM/NVM love to pretend to be HV and you just gave them to blueprint what HVM is to you.When they ask me what I want in a man or my idea of the perfect man, I say something along the lines of "I'll know it when I see it" | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/09/21 05:12 AM |
| 91 | People will try to pull you back down to your old pick-me self. Don’t let them. Level up anyway.Love this. I experience it quite often and it's difficult when people keep trying to pull you down. Also, some people (men and women) try to keep your standards low because they don't think you deserve to have high standards. Your "audacity" makes them uncomfortable. This especially happens to women of certain demographics, groups that face heavy discrimination in the dating world. Example: black women, women over a certain size, women over a certain age... They think you should just take anythi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/09/21 05:05 AM |
| 32 | Where is the lie, tho?I'm not going to lie; I'm somewhere in between both of these groups when it comes to style/aesthetic lol...closer to the ones on the right 😄 and I know a lot of other people with this style, too. A large percentage of them do engage in low value antics 😆 but some would surprise you. I'm not offended by the post...quite the opposite. I laughed. It's mostly true. Either way the poly lifestyle is terribly problematic, manipulative, and sometimes exploitative. I'm just thinking out loud. Just wanted… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/09/21 03:28 AM |
| 86 | Where is the lie, tho?😭😭😭 I'm sorry; this made me laugh so hard. I usually don't pick at people's weight but yeah there is a difference between being a little overweight and just letting yourself go/being nasty and sloppy...Men have less excuses since they tend to lose weight faster, and don't have their hormones or, for some women, pregnancies making it so much harder for them. I feel justified being grossed out by that or not sexually attracted to it. In all seriousness, though...why was he showing much younger and… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/09/21 03:10 AM |
| 18 | Where is the lie, tho?Online Dating | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/09/21 03:02 AM |
| 3 | Where is the lie, tho?It doesn't show as an option for me anymore, either ☹. I was thinking maybe they made it so that only people with certain flares can post images? Not sure if that's a thing on reddit. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/09/21 03:00 AM |
| 2 | #JustHVMThings: A bridesmaid couldn't come to the wedding thanks to Covid restrictions. So the groom paid for her to appear at the wedding via hologram! 💕 | Source: "A Hologram Delivered the Toast" from The New York Times 🥂I love this because it shows that he actually cares about her, the people important to her, and their special day. It seems a lot of low value men could not care less about the wedding and just leave it all up to their fiance. They seem totally checked out and uninvolved in the preparation. I understand some women are more interested and/or skilled in event planning than their fiance, or they like a level of control over how the day goes. I'm not saying it always has to be completely equal with … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/09/21 08:05 PM |
| 3 | Other Women distancing Themselves from Single WomenI don't avoid completely avoid women in relationships for friendship, but most of them end up being eliminated anyway due to pick me behavior/their life revolving around their lackluster boyfriend. Or I end up having to distance myself. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/09/21 06:00 AM |
| 2 | Other Women distancing Themselves from Single WomenOccasional double dates are ok if planned but that friend who has to make everything a double date or make you the 3rd wheel by dragging her man along to everything, is a no go for me. I much prefer one on one activities (dates and friend hangouts) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/09/21 05:58 AM |
| 23 | Dodged a crafty LVMGod just reading this made me so angry but also happy that you cut him off. I can't stand sneaky, manipulative, pathological liar men. Most are no match for FDS women, though. I dodged a bullet last year with a guy similar to that. He would pretend he agreed with me on certain topics. He would even try to dig by asking me what happened in my last relationship. I didn't take the bait. I was vague and surface level, but eventually he STILL tried to nit pick and twist the story to fit his sick narr… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/08/21 04:31 PM |
| 12 | Why his music taste is extremely important during the vetting process.What? How does someone not listen to music at all? How do they get through life? Does not compute lol.. Immediate red flag 😆 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/21 08:56 PM |
| 10 | Why his music taste is extremely important during the vetting process.My favorite topic! I love music. I am musically inclined myself (trying not to give too much identifying info) and it's a huge part of my life. I listen to a very wide variety of music, from a variety of genres, time periods, and artists...mainstream and lesser known, hit singles and deep album cuts. My music taste has been shaped by all the places I've lived, the people I've met, the experiences I've had, and all the different sides of me. I am open minded but I have my limits. Some songs I jus… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/21 06:23 PM |
| 7 | Why his music taste is extremely important during the vetting process.Damn, same. Or a big one for me is if they introduced me to music I ended up really liking or listening to often...and that is a special thing for me so it would keep us bonded together longer than we should have been. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/21 06:12 PM |
| 12 | Why his music taste is extremely important during the vetting process.Music is a huge part of my life, too. Same as far as compatibility. They don't have to like everything I like and vice versa, but we should have something in common musically. I listen to a wide variety of genres so it shouldn't be that hard. If someone only listens to one genre it's a no for me...or if they are extremely big on genres I have little interest in..I personally don't want to listen to a bunch of EDM on a 10 hour roadtrip. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/21 06:08 PM |
| 24 | Why his music taste is extremely important during the vetting process.Yes I find a lot of men are very smug, arrogant, and condescending towards women regarding music, and I don't like it. I love music and my tastes are personal to me. It's those same guys who ask you to name three songs when you're wearing a band tshirt or want to quiz you on your knowledge of an artist you say you like. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/21 06:00 PM |
| 20 | Why his music taste is extremely important during the vetting process.I find most metalhead men I've met to be super misogynistic and also gatekeeping a**holes. I'm also a lover of many genres and they look down on my music tastes. Many of them claim to be so knowledgeable, yet they only listen to one genre. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/21 05:55 PM |
| 44 | Why his music taste is extremely important during the vetting process.I admit, I think he makes really good music (sonically pleasing, has a lot of emotion) and has since his mixtapes...but the majority of his themes are extremely toxic and low value. The difference is I don't know if most men who listen to him regularly recognize or are willing to admit that, and are more likely to truly believe in his message/align with his lifestyle, so I'd proceed with caution. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/21 05:52 PM |
| 3 | I'd say any super common/basic/unimaginative chain restaraunt is a no *for the first few dates*, with few exceptionsI don't exactly consider fast food a date either, it's just spending time and grabbing food together. All things people do in long term relationships.. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/21 05:23 PM |
| 2 | I'd say any super common/basic/unimaginative chain restaraunt is a no *for the first few dates*, with few exceptionsThat's definitely another sign of a low effort date, if he doesn't take dietary restrictions, preferences or food allergies into consideration. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/21 04:00 PM |
| 12 | I'd say any super common/basic/unimaginative chain restaraunt is a no *for the first few dates*, with few exceptionsI am actually one of those people who grew up thinking Red Lobster was nice and fancy lol; I mean I guess I technically knew there was "better" but I had never had it until a certain point in my life. I grew up lower middle class most of my years...and largely in the suburbs where there are a lot of basic restaraunts. I still go to those places sometimes, just not on first dates with men. But yes honestly I am a bit classist against men I'm dating, and I do look at late 20 and 30 somethings diff… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/21 03:44 PM |
| 23 | I'd say any super common/basic/unimaginative chain restaraunt is a no *for the first few dates*, with few exceptionsLOL that is definitely ok to me! I've done that in an already established relationship. Sometimes I'd go to those places with my exes even when when we didn't have a gift card. The longer you're together you'll probably end up eating every type of food together, even fast food. Sometimes you're just hungry or want a predictable night at your favorite chain restaraunt. So I'm not trying to say people can never eat there. I actually like Olive Garden, Red Lobster, and even gasp Applebees (less tha… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/21 03:27 PM |
| 3 | I'd say any super common/basic/unimaginative chain restaraunt is a no *for the first few dates*, with few exceptionsExactly. There are a few exceptions. If that's the case then he can show he is thoughtful in other ways. But most of these men live in or near a place with plenty of other options; they just don't want to put effort. Even many small/medium towns have more than Applebees and Red Lobster. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/21 03:15 PM |
| 5 | I'd say any super common/basic/unimaginative chain restaraunt is a no *for the first few dates*, with few exceptionsHaha I think I was thinking of most of the food trucks I've been to having some type of table nearby! But if they don't then I'd be annoyed too lol. And that's why I said it depends on the individual too. He needs to pay attention to you. If you don't seem like a girl who would like a picnic or an outdoor date then he shouldn't try that. I consider a well thought out picnic romantic. I don't mind if it is technically a park date since the park wasn't then main event/attraction and the picnic was… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/21 03:12 PM |
| 6 | I'd say any super common/basic/unimaginative chain restaraunt is a no *for the first few dates*, with few exceptionsLOL It depends on who you are and what you like. For me I don't mind stopping there occasionally once in an already established relationship. In a long term relationship you'll probably end up eating every type of food together, including fast food. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/21 03:04 PM |
| 18 | I'd say any super common/basic/unimaginative chain restaraunt is a no *for the first few dates*, with few exceptionsI understand; I've lived in medium to large cities but I've also lived in small towns and rural areas, briefly. Sometimes people will plan a date in the nearest/next town over...but sometimes the next town over is too far. There were a few local or even unique places scattered throughout the area. I'd take something less "nice/fancy" but more creative/thoughtful. So I just hope whoever I date would pick up on that and plan accordingly. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/21 07:56 AM |
| 29 | “I know it’s weird but”🤣🤣🤣🤣 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/21 07:44 AM |
| 33 | I'd say any super common/basic/unimaginative chain restaraunt is a no *for the first few dates*, with few exceptionsIt's more about effort, creativity, and thoughfulness than anything for me. There are usually local places that aren't fancy or expensive, but show that he is more creative than the big chains (and I actually like Olive Garden and Red Lobster, just not for a man I barely know to take me on a date there). It just seems very generic and not like he took the time to plan an evening a specific woman would like. Those are the exceptions I was thinking of, though.. small towns or rural areas where the… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/21 07:35 AM |
| 140 | “I know it’s weird but”Guys like this are always so desperate to turn the conversation sexual. It's so trashy and far from smooth or natural. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/21 07:05 AM |
| 102 | “I know it’s weird but”Ugh. He is someone who actually does need to stop believin'. I'll see myself out | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/21 07:02 AM |
| 53 | I'd say any super common/basic/unimaginative chain restaraunt is a no *for the first few dates*, with few exceptions🤣 Oh no. I've never experienced this before but I've heard the horror stories. That would be our last date for sure. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/21 06:40 AM |
| 65 | I'd say any super common/basic/unimaginative chain restaraunt is a no *for the first few dates*, with few exceptionsProbably; because it's "nice" enough to seem like they put effort into the date when they really didn't 😄😑. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/21 06:39 AM |
| 10 | Anybody following the Fresh and Fit situation?"When the manosphere looks up to you and even Kevin Samuels is showing you love in the comments, that’s probably your sign to step back and look at your choices." LOL exactly. I don't even know much about this situation or these particular youtubers, but if Kevin Samuels endorses it, you're on the wrong path for sure 🤣 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/21 05:17 AM |
| 1 | Staying safe whilst travellingThank you for this! So much valuable information. I just got back from a solo road trip and would love to travel abroad by myself in the next couple of years It also makes me feel less weird for traveling alone. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/21 04:46 AM |
| 16 | I have never met a HVM in the context of dating… how common is this?Yep; I don't envy most womens' relationships. I do not want what they have. Women put up with a lot just to say they have someone. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/21 04:43 AM |
| 10 | I have never met a HVM in the context of dating… how common is this?Yes!! That's what I was going to say. The only HVM I know are already in relationships or married. 🥺 Especially past a certain age. And I don't know of that many HVM in general. It's discouraging to be honest. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/21 04:42 AM |
| 3 | I have never met a HVM in the context of dating… how common is this?Wow it's sad that this sounds so unrealistic to me and different from my experience 😭😔. I only wish to have witnessed so many HVM in my life but it's nice to hear about them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/21 04:34 AM |
| 3 | Sisterhood is resistance!!Oh no this is incredibly upsetting to read. 😞 I hope your friend finds her way out of this, even if it may take a while. Abusive relationships really can involve a form of brainwashing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/21 04:29 AM |
| 3 | Sisterhood is resistance!!It seems to be working. I have actually heard a few women repeat this rhetoric. I definitely know some who seemed hesistant or completely uninterested in being my friend due to the fact that I'm single for now (and childfree). They see every single woman as a threat to their relationship or a bad influence. Or sometimes they just think your "lifestyle" is too different. It can be hurtful but ultimately I'm better off without such extreme, insecure pick mes around. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/21 04:24 AM |
| 14 | Small wins!! OF to ban porn.Yeah this is what I was thinking. Only Fans originally started out as platform for any type of exclusive content, not just sexual. It then became popular for porn and nudes. I was wondering how this would end up for other creatives or content creators because of the stigma of OF. I'm not sure if non sex workers would want to sign up anymore after all this so it will probably go down the drain soon. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/21 04:14 AM |
| 34 | Small wins!! OF to ban porn.Exactly. People have a right to feel how they want to, but I think we should be careful not to hate the sex workers themselves while rallying against the sex work industry. I've seen a lot of contempt for these women and it makes me quite sad. I'm more concerned about their well being. I'm not interested in berating them for their choice. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/21 04:10 AM |
| 15 | Podcasts to screen forNow I'm curious as to what Fit N Fresh is and why it's a red flag. I'll have to look it up. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/21 04:02 AM |
| 28 | Podcasts to screen forI can't stand the idea that if a woman critiques men then she's just sexually frustrated/not getting enough sex. It's actually pretty childish and offensive. Some LVM imply lack of sex is the problem anytime a woman is upset about anything at all. Yes orgasms can boost your moods but 1) It's temporary. It's not going to solve systemic issues, or even longterm personal issues. One can have plenty of orgasms and still care about serious issues. The two are not mutually exclusive 2) Most of these g… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/21 04:01 AM |
| 33 | Podcasts to screen forGoodness, that podcast is so annoying. I tried listening to one episode to see what all the hype was about and couldn't get through it. They were heavy on the "cool girl" antics. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/21 03:52 AM |
| 38 | Men nag for sex. Your job is to not reward it.God I can't stand whiny men. Especially when they're whining about sex. This man was practically begging me for sex after the 3rd date and it was just the biggest turn off. If they have to beg for it that means I don't want to do it (either because I'm not ready/don't know them well enough or something about them is turning me off/not attracted) so it won't be good anyway. It's also a sign of a selfish or just plain bad lover. I did not go that far with the man I mentioned, but the things that w… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/08/21 11:37 AM |
| 67 | LVM who share their relationship trauma with youYep; I don't fall for their sob stories anymore. If it's something that's legitimately affecting them, they need to work it out with a therapist and do their own healing work. I'm a compassionate person, but not to my own detriment, and definitely not to manipulative LVM. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/08/21 03:28 AM |
| 12 | Saw This Story. First red flag was coffee date and the rest are in the post. Glad someone was looking out for her!Yikes! Disaster avoided. About Kevin Samuels though: Far too many black women care what random black men on the internet think. I don't watch his videos, but from what I know, lots of black women follow/support him, and even call into his shows. Why are they seeking validation from him? Why does his opinion hold that much weight? Women with higher self esteem do not value what he says. I'd never date him or his followers anyway and it's a good way to weed misogynists out. The only reason I may c… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/08/21 02:33 AM |
| 23 | Saw This Story. First red flag was coffee date and the rest are in the post. Glad someone was looking out for her!Yep! Even watch for if a guy you know follows him on Instagram or other social media. Red flag. I have a couple of old high school or college classmates who act as if they're crushing on me but based on the fact that they follow Kevin Samuels, as well as some of their own posts, I can tell they're misogynistic. They can never touch me. I know some other men who follow Jordan Peterson. I don't know much about him, but but I don't think that's something I want to associate with. None of those men … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/08/21 02:23 AM |
| 16 | Saw This Story. First red flag was coffee date and the rest are in the post. Glad someone was looking out for her!I have never watched his crap. I can't stand to sit through a whole video. Nor do I care enough about those manosphere weirdos opinions to watch. The only thing I've seen is clips on social media and on videos women have made as a response, and even then sometimes I skip the part with him talking lol. Like I really don't give a ____ what he thinks...but I hate that he is becoming so influental and so many people listen to him. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/08/21 02:14 AM |
| 73 | Yikes....... I mean.. at least he admits what 90% of men won't (scroll)It's scary how many men will date, and sometimes even marry, women they are either are "blah"/lukewarm about, or straight up hate. I can feel his contempt for her through his words and photos. I mostly attribute it to the fact that these people are codependent, emotionally abusive, and seriously hate themselves, though. They wouldn't be good with any woman. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/08/21 02:08 AM |
| 279 | For The Lurkers And FDS Members Who Wonder Why Men Are Banned Here....Sorry that you had to deal with that. Facebook can be a cesspool when it comes to that kind of thing. It's honestly so refreshing that men cannot post here. No gaslighting. No monopolizing the conversation and drowning out womens' voices. I see their bs EVERYWHERE. It's nice to have one space where I don't. They have no idea what it's like to live as a woman, and many of them lack empathy, so how can they act like an authority on this subject? I'm sure some men slip through the cracks, but the o… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/08/21 02:01 AM |
| 12 | Tired of getting ads for cheap engagement rings and society telling me I have to lower my standards for essentially costume jewelryHaha that was a while ago and we don't talk anymore. It was largely because her pick me antics as far as saying we would talk or hang out and then not because she ended up hanging with her boyfriend that night. (Same bf with the string ring). Then she tried to flip it on me. Luckily we weren't close, but still..that ruined a chance of us ever being so. I never commented. I'm not a mean spirited person but it's like why even post that? And for him why even "propose" if you have no ring yet? Possi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/08/21 01:58 PM |
| 7 | Tired of getting ads for cheap engagement rings and society telling me I have to lower my standards for essentially costume jewelryIt's mostly about effort for me, too. Part of that effort means spending a decent amount, though. Like you said a few thousand...ok...doesn't have to be super flashy. I'd like something that fits my style and personality. Something customized and special..I love colorful gemstones..(various kinds) $200 is too cheap for him to have put enough effort into something I'd be wearing for (presumably) the rest of my life. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/08/21 07:08 AM |
| 54 | Tired of getting ads for cheap engagement rings and society telling me I have to lower my standards for essentially costume jewelryThat's unacceptable but an acquaintance of mine literally posted an "engagement" photo with a piece of string tied around her finger because her bf "can't get a ring right now" and several people were saying congratulations. Lol the bar is in hell. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/08/21 07:03 AM |
| 23 | Tired of getting ads for cheap engagement rings and society telling me I have to lower my standards for essentially costume jewelryI hate how when you express that you want a decent ring you’re accused of being this vapid, shallow person Yep. I'm tired of seeing those dumb a** photos on Facebook along the lines of "What would you do if your man got you this (tiny/super cheap) ring?" And all the pick mes and LVM in the comments bashing women for being "shallow" or saying "that's why you're single" if you would not be happy with that. It's not about being shallow. It's about effort and having standards. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/08/21 06:54 AM |
| 28 | When scrotes ask what women bring to the table 🤡 block & deleteYep. I've noticed. Not that other men are perfect but I've NEVER had a non black man ask me what I brought to the table..Black men generally have very feminine relationship energy and want to be spoiled, pampered princesses. They are jealous of women. They don't think of all the ways women enhance the world and think all we can bring is sex, cooking, cleaning, and a paycheck (for the 50/50 men lol). They also think we SHOULD bring all those things (and more) because they feel entitled. I have a … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/08/21 11:38 AM |
| 11 | "Activity dates are best for first dates because they enable you to get to know each other better and in a lower-stress manner": solid dating advice or liable to make women lower their standards?Maybe it’s because I tend to be on the introverted side or something, but I easily get overstimulated and I think I’d actually have a harder time gauging a man’s character if there was too much going on. Maybe a light activity that doesn’t require too much concentration would work for me though. This. I'm introverted and this is overstimulating for me too. I'd get distracted, flustered, and annoyed. I need to really sit down, talk, and get to know someone. Activity dates are best for people who … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/08/21 05:48 AM |
| 15 | Very much in light of the recent tragedyI think I was just going off of the literal meaning of celibate meaning abstaining from sex since these men want to make it all about sex. Most women can get someone to have sex with them much easier than the average man. Men will go so far as to date you or even pretend to desire a relationship for sex and other benefits, whether they consider you desireable or not. I don't doubt that there are women who struggle to find a date. Also, a lot of women struggle to find an actual relationship and a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/08/21 01:00 PM |
| 18 | Very much in light of the recent tragedyI knew what incel stood for but that's a really good point. These men are not truly involuntarily celibate. It's another way to make themselves out to be victims. Their choices are why they don't get dates/girlfriends/sex. Maybe if they were more committed to self improvement than hating women then they would see better results. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/08/21 12:38 PM |
| 13 | The "Rising Threat" of Incels - Daily MailEvery day I am amazed (not in a good way) that incels, red pill, men " going their own way" (yeah right), etc, have been allowed to thrive or even exist for so long. There have been countless youtube channels, subreddits, etc that are a breeding ground for hatred and noone is seriously doing anything about it? They're just allowed to be online spewing these dangerous messages. It's frightening and incredibly disheartening. I don't watch their channels or read their garbage because I don't want t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/08/21 11:47 AM |
| 79 | Very much in light of the recent tragedyYeah there's probably no such thing as a female incel. It's very easy for women to get sex if we'll accept it from just anyone. Men don't even have to like women to have sex with us...and men who do like us would have sex in a heartbeat. If women aren't dating or sexually active, it's usually a choice. In the case of FDS, it's a choice made to avoid LVM. But even if there were female incels they'd be nothing like these men. The two aren't even comparable. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/08/21 04:41 AM |
| 1 | I Avoid Men Raised by Single MothersThank you! You're exactly right. I usually do ignore or stop giving my energy to people like that but it was hard to do that today for some reason. I expected some to disagree just didn't expect this much negativity, downvoting, aggressive language, denial, and people taking this personal. I actually received a message that my post was removed earlier for being "low quality". I usually don't argue with people on the internet but I love an honest discussion. I am relatively new to reddit in gener… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/08/21 02:54 AM |
| 21 | Breakfast first date?I'm personally not a morning person but if you are I don't think it's necessarily a pick me thing. I think if some guy you're just dating wants you to go to breakfast and it's inconvenient for you that could be a bit pick me. Also, breakfast may make them feel like they're a priority too early and entitled to your time first thing in the morning. I feel like brunch is safest. Late morning/early afternoon. Maybe 10am-2pm. It could possibly create a false sense of intimacy, though. I can't quite e… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/08/21 02:35 AM |
| 2 | I Avoid Men Raised by Single MothersThis is a really good point. Nothing against LGBTQ families. I feel like that's a different dynamic. Usually the two people are bringing a child into the world who is planned, wanted, loved, and supported. I do think a boy with two female parents should have a strong male role model though (not to pressure him to be heterosexual or anything lol just to learn some healthy non toxic masculinity) Usually women in heterosexual relationships don't explicitly choose to be single mothers, though, so so… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/08/21 02:16 AM |
| 1 | I Avoid Men Raised by Single MothersYes, I've definitely had this unfortunate experience, and know many others who have as well. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/08/21 02:09 AM |
| 2 | I Avoid Men Raised by Single MothersThank you. This was my exact point. I'm not sure how people aren't getting this.. I'm not willing to sort through that group of men to find the gems. There are other groups of men I'd rather not take my chances with either not just men raised by single mothers. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/08/21 01:58 AM |
| 1 | I Avoid Men Raised by Single MothersI'm not sure why I'm expecting white women to be able to see anything outside of their own limited worldview. Of course not all but many are this way. Somehow Becky who only dates millionares is ok but me avoiding men from single parent households is a problem 🤷🏿♀️. I guess they can do what they want and I'll continue to do what I like. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/08/21 01:50 AM |
| 2 | I Avoid Men Raised by Single MothersExactly...the surrogate husband thing is one of the main problems..the other being men raised in that environment not putting in the work to heal from it. Just because it's FDS I don't have to pretend that single mothers have no responsibility to not coddle their sons....even if deadbeat dads are a bigger issue. My original post was focusing on the men raised in these situations, not the parents themselves. That would be a different, much longer post. and I grew up in a dysfunctional two parent … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/08/21 01:46 AM |
| 1 | I Avoid Men Raised by Single MothersOk, but those are literally two different things Women raising sons to be decent human beings in general? More likely Women teaching a boy the ins and outs of manhood? (So he can be a high value partner to a woman) Probably not This post is more about men than single mothers so I'm unsure why women are taking it as an attack on them (if they read my entire post). I have a right to my opinion and you have the right to think it's trash, I guess. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/21 10:39 PM |
| 0 | I Avoid Men Raised by Single MothersWhat does you being with a non white man have to do with the way you react and respond to non white/ black women? And how little or much you empathize with our views and experiences? That's where the white feminist part comes in. Some white women who date men of color are the worst offenders. They think that absolves them of everything. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/21 10:32 PM |
| -1 | I Avoid Men Raised by Single MothersThank you. It's so refreshing to have someone understands. You summed up everything I was trying to say. I never even said all!! It's just so many that it's not a group I'm willing to take my chances with. Some people refuse to truly comprehend what I'm saying because it may differ from their personal experience, or what they want to believe. They refuse to see beyond their limited reality. The are statistically a lot of disadvantages to being raised by a single mother...and the post was more ab… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/21 10:31 PM |
| 1 | I Avoid Men Raised by Single MothersAs far as I know, FDS is not a cult. Therefore, someone having a different opinion does not mean they're a redpill, pick me, a troll, a man etc. You have a right to disagree but if you read and truly comprehended my post you would understand that it is not the same as whatever those redpill guys are saying. (I don't follow them, the manosphere or any of those type of subreddits/youtubes closely....so I don't know all the details..but I know some of their rhetoric and basic idealogies) My post wa… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/21 10:15 PM |
| -4 | I Avoid Men Raised by Single MothersI'm not buying into anything. I'm aware that many men are abusive and oppressors. I'm just saying that some men are protectors and that does offer a benefit to women from time to time. I never said the system was perfect or I agree with every aspect of it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/21 05:03 PM |
| -7 | I Avoid Men Raised by Single MothersMostly the men who are protective or providers. The times when women are in danger and men come to our rescue. Men who are physically stronger protecting us from harm. A man walking you to your door or waiting outside after dropping you off, making sure you get inside your home safely. The (few good) police officers helping you out of a domestic violence situation, certain systems in place. A father in the home warding off low value boys...not throwing his daughter to the wolves. Not allowing bo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/21 04:32 PM |
| 9 | I Avoid Men Raised by Single MothersI appreciate you being open to this discussion. Of course I don't know your personal situation so not all but I think it's good for single mothers to know what other women are experiencing with many of their sons. Well, some know but are in denial. I only wish men LVM and deadbeat fathers would take heed as well. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/21 04:22 PM |
| 0 | I Avoid Men Raised by Single MothersI didn't mean that it's better to have a LVM dad than none at all. What I'm saying is that in my dating life, I automatically eliminate men rasied by single mothers. Then I vet and eliminate the men I'm dating who did have a father (this usually takes more time to figure out if his dad was low value and how that affected him) I didn't see why this was so offensive to women. It was vetting advice I gained from my own wisdom but I did say I won't tell someone how to live their life. If anything I … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/21 04:20 PM |
| 8 | I Avoid Men Raised by Single MothersThis, too. So much this. It really depends on the reason for the divorce, the parents' actions during and after the divorce, and if he still seems heavily affected by it today. If for some reason there was an amicable split, or at least one with minimal drama, his father stayed active in his life, and he's processed his emotions regarding it, that's a different story. It MAY be something we can work with. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/21 03:24 PM |
| 23 | I Avoid Men Raised by Single MothersYes, to be honest I find most men who grew up without fathers to be sorely lacking in true masculinity. They may try to overcompensate by being overly "macho", aggressive, misogynistic, but when it comes to being dependable, a leader, protective they are clueless. I've also had the experience of (briefly) dating men with zero life skills and/or who were coddled by their moms. It's the worst. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/21 03:05 PM |
| 15 | I Avoid Men Raised by Single MothersYes, it's very unfortunate but many men, especially in previous generations, never dealt with their trauma in an appropriate manner, so the cycle just keeps continuing. 😕 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/21 03:01 PM |
| 26 | I Avoid Men Raised by Single MothersOh God yes...my last ex had a pick me mom and LVM dad. I'm so glad they didn't end up being my in laws. disaster avoided | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/21 02:57 PM |
| 18 | I Avoid Men Raised by Single MothersLol no. Read the whole thing and check my other posts. I'm not a troll just because you disagree. We can't teach men how to be men because we don't have the lived experience of being a man. Men and women are not exactly the same. That in no way makes us inferior. To be honest, as a black woman (a group who has never had large scale protection), I'm not trying so much to dismantle the patriarchy (since that's how we get some of our protection), moreso how to work within the system (yet somehow st… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/21 02:43 PM |
| 28 | There is no reward for sufferingI love this! It was poetry. Thank you for the reminder. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/08/21 09:15 AM |
| 48 | Notice how men that claim to want an “independent woman” usually just don’t want to help you with bills. Or they will call a woman needy if she asks for emotional support.THIS. It's extremely selfish and off putting... Whenever a man emphasizes he is looking for a "strong" woman, I avoid or run for the hills. Many times they're prepping you for abuse. They know they are going to put you through BS and want to see how much you can take. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/08/21 09:12 AM |
| 2 | Dababy makes some (really stupid and uneducated) verbal comments and gets “cancelled” by a ton of companies/sponsors. Chris Brown beats the crap out of women and no one cares. The most (painfully) ironic thing was that news outlets were publishing “Chris Brown’s reaction to Dababy’s remarks.”You make a good point, but I actually don't know if this is the case. Chris Brown WAS cancelled by the mainstream society . If you can remember, he was a borderline popstar in the late 2000s..he was on his way to becoming super mainstream...He had the gum commercial (doublemint? I think), and had some techno-ish pop songs. After the Rihanna incident, he lost a lot of oppportunities, and now mostly hip hop and r&b stations play his music. He is usually only a topic of conversation on black media … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/21 03:43 PM |
| 3 | Found online. It seems sensible enough.I personally have no desire to disclose those things to men I'm simply dating or first getting to know. I am 100% for protecting myself in this way. There really is no benefit, plus it's too much negative energy for a budding relationship. However, if we've been together a while and/or are headed towards marriage that is going to be more of a challenge...hopefully like you said if they're a HVM they'll accept it as part of me and not something to use against me...even though I suppose there is a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/21 02:41 PM |
| 60 | Found online. It seems sensible enough.I struggle with that..like knowing when, if, or how much trauma to disclose when a relationship gets serious. I know not to disclose much (if any) of those things when you're first getting to know someone..but how realistic is it to be with someone a year, several years, or decades without them knowing what may be years of your life story or for some, formative experiences? I'm thinking maybe I'll just give an overview but not go into detail? Or frame it in a way where it's clear I've grown from… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/08/21 03:24 PM |
| 8 | tHe MeN YOU ChOoSe ArE tRaShMaybe many, many years down the line, women "choosing better" on a large scale could help change things to some extent (breed most low value men/dysfunctional families out of existence) but maybe not, seeing as there is so much pushback from men who don't actually want to be better and so many women who have been conditioned to fight against their own best interests...so in this lifetime, we have to do the best we can with what we're up against. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/08/21 12:38 AM |
| 8 | tHe MeN YOU ChOoSe ArE tRaShI definitely agree with that! That's why I wrote a couple of sentences about what I believe we are responsible for and elaborated in one of the comments about it. Definitely think since we have this knowledge we should do what we can to repel them, and protect ourselves. Boundaries and knowledge are probably our strongest protectors. I'm just saying that men being trash on such a large scale is not our fault (though in some cases women make men feel more comfortable being trash by allowing too m… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/08/21 12:36 AM |
| 26 | tHe MeN YOU ChOoSe ArE tRaShThank you! And exactly. Some men are extremely deceptive. You described it perfectly. People act like most women are just happily running into the arms of abusers or even just f*ckboys. Like we're just begging to be abused. No. These high level manipulators only seem to become more common, unfortunately. Trying my best to stay one step ahead! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/08/21 09:39 PM |
| 17 | tHe MeN YOU ChOoSe ArE tRaShExactly...and I used to be one of those people, too. I internalized it sooo much. It cut so deeply to think about and I felt defective. Now when it comes to dating, I'm more along the lines of " What matters most is not who you attract, but who you entertain". I've learned that abusers, jerks, bums, NVM are opportunists...they're attracted to everyone..they just throw sh*t at the wall and see what sticks....but if they see what seems like an easy opportunity to prey on you, they will. Certain tr… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/08/21 09:26 PM |
| 39 | tHe MeN YOU ChOoSe ArE tRaShYesss and that's ridiculous. I literally studied sociology in college, study psychology related topics in my free time (including personality disorders) and I STILL didn't pick up on everything. I do have a strong intuition but I'm just now learning to listen to it. It shouldn't be rocket science, take a literal college degree, or years of experience with high level manipulation to date or just interact in the world with men. Ridiculous. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/08/21 09:07 PM |
| 34 | tHe MeN YOU ChOoSe ArE tRaShI wasn't completely clueless but I'm in my early 30s...it took years of observation, experience, my own trauma, and just living in the world before I got a real clue. I didnt start truly waking up until a few years ago. I found FDS late last year and it opened my eyes so much more.... It's not too late for me, but it's so nice that my Gen Z and younger millenial sisters have this resource at an earlier age. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/08/21 08:58 PM |
| 14 | tHe MeN YOU ChOoSe ArE tRaShAnd hahahaha I actually had that American Girl hygiene/body guide!!! We need that version; totally on board with the title too 😆 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/08/21 08:55 PM |
| 32 | tHe MeN YOU ChOoSe ArE tRaShMy dad said the same thing and was not specific. Not saying he didn't care about us at all, but he was emotionally abusive, though, so maybe he was just saying that to be overly controlling and strict....However, most fathers say that out of love and concern. I think having a good dad helps a lot, but I'm learning from other women that even the best dads can't always fully prepare their daughters for what's out there. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/08/21 08:53 PM |
| 19 | tHe MeN YOU ChOoSe ArE tRaShExactly!!!! They don't care that most men are trash or about fixing the issue. They're just mad that we're saying something about it. They want to continue to be trash in peace. So many people benefit from women having low standards, unfortunately. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/08/21 08:29 PM |
| 76 | “Girl, you got a good one! Hang onto him!”God I hate this. It is embarrasing and sounds so desperate. It definitely makes men seem like the prize and the woman should worship him like a king for wanting to be with a lowly peasant such as her. sarcasm It is similar to when someone says, about a woman who is single, or has had a few breakups, that she "can't keep a man" 1) Why is all the responsibility on the woman to keep the relationship going? 2) Some men don't want to be kept. You can't make someone stay or treat you well. 3) Some men… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/08/21 04:46 PM |
| 5 | Location- How much of a factor in finding a HVM?That makes total sense and those are really good points. They definifely both have their pros and cons. As a westerner, as a American (US), and just as a person, I am very much an individual. I value being unique and I march to the beat of my own drum. I am not much of a follower. I just have empathy and I'm not completely selfish like some people here. Also being more introverted, I appreciate the option of ananoymity sometimes. I feel like more of a collectivist mindset is good for situations … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/08/21 10:26 AM |
| 5 | The Female Dating Strategy Podcast: EP. 20 - The Queens Respond to Listener Feedback + Future Plans for FDS!I love the "back to basics" approach. Even as someone who has read the handbook and been a part of the subreddit for some months now, I would appreciate more discussion on the broader/more general topics. Some of the topics felt a little too....intermediate? specific? to start the podcast off with .That gave it a bit of a disorganized and confusing feel (though I still enjoyed most episodes, I think it's easier to engage people when they can follow from the beggining). Thank you so much for list… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/07/21 03:06 AM |
| 2 | When they lie about their ages on dating apps and think we won't notice 😂I personally don't care about them having sharp abs/a 6 pack as that look really doesn't do much for me (but of course everyones physical preferences are different and that's ok!). HOWEVER thank you for posting this because the beer bellies are gross and I'm tired of seeing them. Most people don't truly want to date a man with twigs for legs but looks like he's 8 months pregnant. Come on. For me I don't mind if they're not in top shape (as I'm not myself but I still exercise regularly) but they … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/06/21 09:44 PM |
| 13 | It's not kink shaming; it's refusing to buy into the bullshit. It's calling out depravity that serves men while destroying the lives of women. It's rising up against a system of oppression every woman on earth is laboring under, due to no fault of our own.THIS!!! Some of these people call you a prude/kink shamer just for having boundaries. Sorry but I'm allowed to choose what I want to do with MY body. I don't need people pressuring me to do things I have no desire to. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/21 07:38 PM |
| 3 | Attractiveness won’t get you respect! Women need to stop believing this lie -Wow. One of the most relateable posts I've ever read. This whole thing just sums it up. This hits deeply... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/01/21 01:03 AM |
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