You Don't Always Have to Hold Yourself to the Same Standards as Men

otroniveI · 2021-09-15T04:37:04+00:00

Isn’t it interesting how society allows men to want certain qualities in women that they themselves don’t possess but if roles were reversed, she would be labelled a hypocrite and told she’s entitled.

BasieSkanks · 2021-09-15T08:38:15+00:00

Well said. Men expect to date supermodels who earn six figures whilst they are basement dwellers with no job. Men have double standards when it comes to women all the time. They are selfish yet they expect women to be selfless. They are greedy yet expect women to never ask for anything. They are underperforming yet they expect women to be exceptional in every area. Another thing to remember is that generally most people do not want to date carbon copies of themselves. Bringing different qualities and skills to a relationship can be a positive thing.

BashRunes · 2021-09-15T06:50:27+00:00

Men are allowed to ask for whatever they want. They want a woman who goes to the gym 5 days a week, does an hour a day's worth of prep before leaving the house, coordinates outfits every day, pays for various beauty treatments when they themselves roll out of bed, sniff-check a holey tee shirt, spray some Axe, and do nothing else for themselves. If they can get away with that shit then women can set their standards wherever they damn well please.

pickadaisy · 2021-09-15T13:36:35+00:00

All the newbies NEED to read this.

2340000 · 2021-09-15T05:29:19+00:00

It's helped me to change the rhetoric from "What I have to offer" to "What I'm willing to give". Women shouldn't make sacrifices..

We are raised to believe we're naturally inferior to men. Our worth is tied to our utility, so we forget to acknowledge our needs too. We forget because we feel guilty.

Guilty about expecting a man (or anyone) to invest in us/ease the burden of everyday life. It goes against the standard that women should give but never receive.

So yes! As a disenfranchised woman and POC, I stan!❤

ChocoBananza · 2021-09-15T05:46:36+00:00

Thanks to FDS, I was able to apply this mindset, and I’m thrilled with the results.

As a kind of a recruiting tool, I ask these libfem/pickmes will they also do 50/50 on pregnancy. I love the little lightbulb moment they get 💡

Platipus6 · 2021-09-15T04:56:52+00:00

Precisely. Don't discount yourself, don't amplify your flaws and convince yourself you have to settle because you don't bring this and that.

Simply having a woman on his arm raises his social standing and makes everyone around him relax and trust him. We bring social proof.

My ex liked taking me out only because baristas and waitstaff finally talked to him, because I was nearby. Every other time he was out alone, they clocked him for who he was - a creepy sociopath they shouldn't make eye contact with.

sexualfoodpantry · 2021-09-15T06:41:19+00:00

Redditors are quick to say that women demand attributes they don't have themselves, when everyone knows many men are pickier and worse. All the way to the altar and beyond they wonder, maybe I could have done better.

What's good for the gander is good for the goose, too.

lightcobaltblue · 2021-09-15T05:59:03+00:00

I agree so much. We don't have to be exactly equal to be of equal value. I desire a man who is very different from me in certain regards because men and women ARE different. I love FDS for seeing differences in men and women and calling fake equality out. So many people nowadays try to hold women to the same standards as men and that is just not how biology works.

pickmieshaexorcist · 2021-09-15T12:12:32+00:00

Mental illness is a big one. Nearly every woman I know with mental illness is doing something to help it and make her life better. Whether that’s as big as therapy and/or taking meds to the little things like keeping a journal or practicing mindfulness.

Men don’t seek help for mental illness, as a class. Then they turn around and blame women or society for that lack of help when it’s men who do not avail themselves of resources.

Men with untreated mental illness are often a danger to their intimate partners. Very often the relationship is shitty for her as she desperately tries to get him to seek help and gets rage and abuse in return. These stories are all over Reddit.

In fact, if you are a woman with mental illness, it’s probably safer for your partner not to have it too.

serenity-art · 2021-09-15T04:53:12+00:00

These posts are life changing! 🙌

ButterfliesHurricane · 2021-09-15T07:01:55+00:00

Really good post! Although a little sad this needs reminded as it makes so much sense.

Libfem have shot themselves in the foot on so many topics sadly not realising their rhetoric has been manipulated and completely used against them. That’s you have the 50/50 tablebringers men chanting from their hymn sheet.

thicctoria · 2021-09-15T14:58:41+00:00

You're completely right, women are not men. For example, men with mental health issues are statistically more likely to abuse various substances and be aggressive. Women are statistically more likely to seek help. I'm bisexual and I would be open to dating a woman with these issues, but not a man.

From what I've seen, women who live with their families tend to take care of them - helping out their parents, working and actively contributing to their household. Men tend to shout at their mums, play video games and spread cheetos dust everywhere.

My husband makes almost double my salary, mostly because I work reduced hours and spend the rest of my time on my passions. I wouldn't have it any other way. He thrives on the fact that I'm happy and doing what I love. I didn't have to ask or force him into this, I just found a man who's generous and passionate about his job.

arnezuara · 2021-09-15T04:31:02+00:00

Love this post. Liberal feminism is yet another tool to gaslight women into compliance. Any disadvantage or flaw in a woman, oppressed by default, only adds to her struggle.

It puts her back in the hands of tyranny she was born into.

Our vulnerabilities create windows of opportunity for fucked up men. Our disadvantages advance these men.

So, no, it’s never the same.

jenaemare · 2021-09-15T06:16:41+00:00

I'm overweight and I am not attracted to overweight men... I never was and I was called an hypocrite and having double standards for it. I will never apologize for what I am attracted to. There never was a shortage of ottermode /built men that were into me, so...

mru597 · 2021-09-15T06:17:39+00:00

Every adult should know how to cook. And I think it is better not to date while dealing with a mental illness. Personally I like to hold myself to high standards aswell. It doesn't have to be exactly the same but still.

cookiemonstergirls · 2021-09-15T17:58:55+00:00

This reminds me of that Jubliee video called 20 vs 1 Speed dating 20 guys where this woman literally just said she wanted someone older than she is and tall. The incels went wild. Multiple scrotes on youtube who resemble bridge trolls attacked her appearance and character just for having like one physical preference. There was another girl who said she liked brown eyes and a man who would be down for vegan food. She git ripped to shreds as well by incels and scrotes. Most of them calling her “a pump and dump” But of course when a man in one of those jubilee videos says he want a girl who looks a certain way nobody cared. The comments were even praising him. The internet makes it so hard not to dislike men.

JadeBaby2211 · 2021-09-15T14:01:25+00:00

This is true. My motivation to seek a high earner isn't to gold dig, it's to make sure that he can pay bills on time, is good with money and spending, and can provide a safety net if need be. My motivation for dating a mentally well man is because then I don't have to be a therapist or beg for someone to have empathy for me. My motivation for dating an attractive man is because I want to feel good and I want to know that he has healthy habits.

Men have VASTLY different and more nefarious motivations for dating women with the same qualities. My end game is a stable, happy relationship and home life, their end game is to use women and their resources.

Specific-Composer300 · 2021-09-15T10:28:29+00:00

I completely agree! Men and women are complimentary, not exactly the same. And if I'm going to be having and raising children, he needs to be earning the majority of the money. There's nothing unreasonable about this, in fact it's highly logical.

womenarealwaysbased · 2021-09-15T16:03:09+00:00

Women need to be selfish.

Feministtiktok · 2021-09-16T04:07:28+00:00

Translation: women deserve to be attracted to their partner and not feel like they are settling on a man they don’t really fully even want 🌈

sleepysiri · 2021-09-16T09:14:07+00:00

Especially about mental illness, the way men handle theirs is different to women. First of all, they externalise their issues meaning they will use it as an excuse to either the abhsive or a general asshole. And they probably won’t be working on it the way you are. They probably haven’t taken any effort to even understand their issues by reading a basic article on Google.

Title	You Don't Always Have to Hold Yourself to the Same Standards as Men
Author	PetuniaXo
Upvotes	451
Comments	39
Date	September 15, 2021 4:05 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/poipa8/you_dont_always_have_to_hold_yourself_to_the_same/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/you-dont-always-have-to-hold-yourself-to-the-same.1070368 https://theredarchive.com/post/1070368

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