Judging women for loving animals

katiekat0214 · 2021-11-07T23:56:18+00:00

Loving animals more than humans, preferring the company of animals, specifically over the company of men, is used against women because it's an easy jab. Animals are way less complicated, humans infinitely more so. Animals are easier to be with; humans not so much. I'd say that anyone, especially a woman, who makes it clear that she prefers animals to humans is simply being SUPER honest about her revulsion toward drama, forced servitude, and the patriarchy, and on some level, everyone gets that. So yeah, call me "crazy cat lady" all you want, I'll own it, and immediately fess up to my love of a quiet, calm, stable life with only healthy, calm, stable people in it.

thewetdog_ · 2021-11-08T00:21:46+00:00

Your sister told you you “have no one”? Lmao good thing you have that dog then because yikes

I’m an only child and once my parents die I’ll have no one.

Loving animals is used to put down women because it means you’re not doing labor for men or other women. Physical, financial or emotional labor.

They know you’re not giving another man kids and raising them. You’re not 50-50ing a man. They know you’re not beat down with exhaustion and exploited that’s why they can’t stand it.

They know you live a peaceful life for your self, you make your money take it all home, to a calm peaceful house for your own damn self where you answer to no one but your boss. Men and women hate to see it.

aburke626 · 2021-11-08T00:38:41+00:00

I’ve talked about this here before - I’m very into animal rescue and I’m very happy with my life. I have a great career, a lot of friends, and I’ve had great relationships with men who love animals as much as I do. But the way some people treat and talk about women like me, as though I only have pets and rescue animals because I have no options, is so exhausting. I choose to open my home to animals. I choose to do this with my life. My home is clean and well-decorated, my pets are happy and healthy. I make an awesome difference in the world. Why would I ever be ashamed of that? If I wanted children, I would have had them. If I found a man I was interested in, I would spend time with him. The dating pool around me is thin and my time lately is spent doing other things.

I refuse to be painted as some pathetic single woman sadly clinging to her cats in a filthy house, pretending her pets are human children. I simply have no time for nonsense.

I think men are intimidated by women living whole, fulfilled, loving lives without men. Unless you’ve come to help clean cages, we don’t need you here. I have a happy, healthy little family all my own, no men needed. Low value men know they have nothing to offer here. I have love and companionship. I’m not lonely. I don’t want babies. A man would have to prove his worth to show me why I should let him into my life, and that takes effort. It’s easier to just talk shit than make that effort.

toothfairyyx · 2021-11-08T00:09:50+00:00

This is a very interesting topic. I have been subject to this as well and I too do not understand what is wrong with being a single woman and owning a cat or dog. Sounds like solitude to me.

As always, there is no male equivalent for this insult. Nurturing and socializing an animal is a sign of high empathy, yet somehow it’s used as evidence that we’re not fit for a relationship. The implication is that we couldn’t “secure a mate” so we had to adopt a companion instead. I want to roll my eyes anytime I hear some suggestion that I’ll be “forever alone with cats.”

Anyway, I completely relate. Keep on doing your thing. Everyone else can mind their own business.

apommom · 2021-11-08T00:16:17+00:00

It goes without saying that people put a ton of value into having a romantic partner and children, as if you can’t be lonely even if you have those things. To be honest a lot of people who do have those things are miserable, and invalidating your choices is a way they validate their own. Point being, it has literally nothing to do with the dog.

Serious_Papaya8615 · 2021-11-08T00:25:08+00:00

I’m really sorry she said those things to you. I think a big part why men use loving pets and animals as an insult and why they hate women who do is because they cannot be a part of that. It’s something they’re excluded from because the bond between a pet and its owner is something unique.

Just today I had the misfortune of coming across a comment on a post about cats where the man started spreading misogyny because he somehow saw an opportunity to. Anything that makes us happy LVM and NVM will find a problem with.

aurelia_86 · 2021-11-08T01:48:30+00:00

It sounds like your sister is massively projecting. She clearly feels the need to chase crappy men for companionship, which means that she's not secure enough to be content on her own and is scared that she too will 'have no one'. So she looks at you with pity and unwarranted concern, assuming that you're unhappy - because she would be, if that's how her life turned out.

And hey, viewing you as the friendless/unhappy one means that she doesn't have to face up to her own fears and insecurities about winding up alone.

If you were an educated single man with interesting hobbies - a dog would be a plus, and would even improve your social status and desirability.

MsEastEnder · 2021-11-08T03:47:20+00:00

My music references in this comment are from a UK pov, hope I’ve explained myself clearly🖤

Our patriarchal society will take ANY interest/trend/genre of music/hobby that a number of girls or women enjoy and belittle it until those things are labelled as vapid and worthless. See how the (mostly girls) Taylor Swift or Harry Styles fandoms are treated; depicted as brainless, ‘basic’ and over the top while the (mostly boys) fans of grime/drill are respected for sharing their interests via reaction videos/podcasts, something that would be deemed as pathetic and obsessive if the aforementioned ‘girly’ fans do the same about their favourite artists. This BS extents to careers and even types of coffee but I’ll end my little rant there.

Re. your sister - I’m sorry, that sucks. I see why you’d be disappointed in her and you’re right. I get the feeling that she’s struggling with the life she’s made for herself and is turning that discontent on you cos that’s less painful for her. You keep looking after yourself and maintaining those aspects of your life that make you happy and don’t be shy about taking a break from your sister (telling her why or not as you see fit) if you need to. You’re not her personal punching bag.

Ps I have a wonderful little family of my own plus much loved extended family but when my little dog injured herself I was in bits, I was so scared of losing her. You’re SUPPOSED to love your pet, regardless of how many family/friends you have. And you’re spot on that we get waaaaaaay more of a return on the love we give our pets than we’d get from some guy we only settled for due to fear of being alone.

alpinepunch2021 · 2021-11-08T05:00:10+00:00

I get that a lot about my cat, though I've never had anyone tack on 'you have no one', which made me think it wasn't a malicious comment and more a comment on how (admittedly and openly) obsessed I am with her. Animals can bring a lot of emotional connection and long-term companionship, so whenever women are fortunate enough to be satisfied by them they basically get to 'opt out' of perpetually chasing men. It's funny because every now and then you'll get the 'independent woman girlboss' variant of a pick me who's professionally successful and willing to go 50/50 or have a house husband or something. You don't see people saying she'll die alone (even though a life dedicated to work alone seems pretty lonely to me), since there's still this streak of 'trying to appeal to men' that simply isn't there amongst disheveled cat ladies.

I also think the reason this criticism is often targeted at cat ladies more than dog ladies is because cats are basically the purest expression of FDS (okay maybe this is a stretch and my obsession's getting a bit out of hand but bear with me). They have strong boundaries and a strong sense of territory and what they're owed, they're content with themselves, and they can be open and affectionate without being exploitable. Only the worst kind of people - i.e. ones that can't tolerate someone with less power than them acting as if they're entitled to their own space, autonomy, body, and rights - hate cats and usually it's for exactly these reasons.

Averyhvw · 2021-11-08T02:02:19+00:00

I got negged at a party one time when I was in school for a job working with animals. “Oh, that makes sense. You totally reminded me of my little sister and she really likes animals.” Tf these clowns think? I’m mingling at a party I do not want you, scrote! 🤡

StarbornDancing · 2021-11-08T05:24:07+00:00

It sounds like she's projecting how she feels onto you given your description of her. She puts men as her highest priority so for her a dog or cat would just be a stand-in for a man.

People who have other priorities look at women with animals as if they have them as some kind of coping strategy. I saw a post around a month back where some armchair evo psych dude proclaimed that it was some maladaptive coping strategy for not having kids.

That animals can be companions, interesting to be with and play with, and teach you both about yourself + the animal just doesn't occur to them. They've never had the pleasure of earning a wild animal's/rescue's trust. They don't see how much they can learn by observing them about things like body language and boundaries.

Three same people don't "get" animals because they think if they own them then they should exist to serve their pleasure like a slave rather than as creatures that coexist in the same environment with you. They have their own thoughts, desires and boundaries and when the animals act in accordance with that then they get angry, surprised or try and force their will on the animal.

As for why loving animals is seen as a bad thing - anything where a woman is not pouring her energy into pleasing men or serving his legacy is seen as something bad.

Thesseli · 2021-11-08T12:59:00+00:00

Women who don't have a man at the center of their lives threaten the worldview of those who do.

brylm92 · 2021-11-08T13:57:05+00:00

Animals aren't going to cheat on you, demand anal, or constantly gaslight you about their porn addiction. True unconditional love.

I believe most men can't understand a woman's love of her pets, because they are devoid of empathy and only have love for their own peen feelz. That or they feel jealous or threatened that having a pet (in my case, a rodent gang) is genuinely preferable to having a man around. Because ultimately having a man is like having all the responsibility of an aggressive, unneutered, untrained dog - that'll mess up your life and leave you emotionally scarred - except without any of the perks of having a cute dog around.

"Crazy cat lady" is an trope that men invented to neg women into settling for shit men, and sadly many a pickme is still programmed to believe it's a fate worse than death. It's probably a big fear of your sis, and she's projecting it onto you.

iguanidae · 2021-11-08T10:36:20+00:00

I avoid people who talks down about animals or other people who love animals tbh.

Those who view animals as their "lessers" or "subservient" always rank human males as #1 and I have no patience for it. It's especially a red flag if they don't like cats for being "aloof" or "bitchy".

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2021-11-08T08:49:35+00:00

She's jealous and attacking you

throwawaynevermindit · 2021-11-08T16:51:12+00:00

Energy you expend on an animal is energy you're not expending on a man and/or his progeny so ofc it's to be discouraged. They feel shortchanged.

_mooness · 2021-11-09T02:01:38+00:00

Your sisters projecting because she feels alone in her relationship probably, and doesn’t know the difference between being alone and being lonely. I wish you the best of years with your puppy!

Optimal_Grapefruit_5 · 2021-11-11T21:28:42+00:00

Your sister's misery loves company. Don't internalize someone else's negativity.

You raise good points and are giving some food for thought, but don't let your sister's bitterness about her own circumstances make you feel like you have to justify yourself in any way. You're nurturing a pet by choice, she has no choice but to nurture kids sired by deadbeats. Neither judging her nor defending her, it is what it is.

Title	Judging women for loving animals
Author	PetuniaXo
Upvotes	396
Comments	23
Date	November 7, 2021 11:52 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/qp15o5/judging_women_for_loving_animals/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/judging-women-for-loving-animals.1085338 https://theredarchive.com/post/1085338