TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

Salty-Tomorrow Archive

View 1 posts and 371 comments by Salty-Tomorrow on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
166

THINGS SCROTES SAYSalty-Tomorrow/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 06:23 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
81

That's not how crime statistics work lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 10:34 PM
298

It might not be all men, but it’s not women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 09:09 PM
1

PM me :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 07:30 PM
1

PM me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 05:39 PM
1

PM me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 05:39 PM
1

PM me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 05:39 PM
1

PM me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 05:39 PM
1

PM me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 05:36 PM
1

Could you PM me?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 05:35 PM
1

Please PM me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 05:35 PM
1

PM me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 05:34 PM
2

PM me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 05:34 PM
1

PM me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 05:32 PM
18

PM me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 04:23 AM
8

Off-topic but it was your username that kicked off my peak. Hope you’re with us on Ovarit. PM me if you need an invite!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 03:15 AM
16

We have Ovarit! It’s a reddit knock off by and for women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 03:10 AM
32

You might check out Ovarit. It’s women-run, women focused, and honestly such a relief from the hellhole that is reddit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 03:01 AM
13

Ovarit!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 03:00 AM
65

Join us on Ovarit! edit: wow, so much interest overnight! I’m trying to respond to everyone, but it will take some time. If you want a code, please PM me and I will do what I can.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 02:56 AM
9

Just because something was “consensual” doesn’t mean it wasn’t traumatic, also.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 09:09 PM
34

New strategy: only have sex with men who do REAL work to change rape culture. Not just men who don’t rape or who think rape is wrong—men who are actively stopping rapists.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 04:54 AM
41

Yes. The way men will stop raping is to see the consequences of their actions. Only 1.1% of rapes are prosecuted and only half of those result in incarceration. Punish men for raping.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 04:52 AM
3

It’s small and pretty political (radical feminism), but I enjoy it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 03:22 AM
12

And an alternative Reddit for women called Ovarit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 06:35 PM
126

You had me for a second there 😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 07:12 AM
18

Twitter is being sued for doing nothing about the child porn shared on their platform as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 12:50 AM
5

This is handbook material. Great post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 05:18 AM
30

Yuppp haha I was diagnosed with ADHD at 21 and in researching it, realized I should be diagnosed for autism as well. It’s been several years since then and I’m still unraveling the trauma of decades spent undiagnosed, blaming myself for my symptoms and my inability to behave to neurotypical standards. I hear about women getting diagnosed in their 40s, 50s, and 60s. It’s ridiculous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 03:07 AM
43

Definitely look up how autism and ADHD present differently in women, too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 01:07 AM
15

He said it himself: he liked that he was making her uncomfortable! He knew.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 09:01 PM
13

There is also the Fawn response, which I think is even more fitting here. Where you appease your attacker.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 08:58 PM
8

Also, “science proves it”= found one biased study to back me up
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 04:47 PM
2

wow, disappointed in FDS today. Let’s not celebrate men for less than the bare minimum?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 03:52 PM
-3

Yeah, this still feels gross. Like he’s inviting others to engage in such a way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 06:39 AM
52

Yes! Don’t play this trick. If you don’t offer, most men will pay no problem—but a lot of them will also split it if you insist. Just let him pay!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 06:30 AM
60

How much do you want to bet she’s 10+ years younger, too?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 12:47 AM
19

They’ve done so little internal mapping, and we’re so uneducated about our own bodies, especially women. I honestly believe the majority of women are capable of orgasm, that most of the time the problem is psychological, not physiological.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 08:20 AM
6

LMAO. I checked it out and some scrote said our sub was nothing like theirs and maybe FDS should change its name. We should change our name because they stole our idea. Wow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 03:04 AM
41

They’re starting to believe even vaginal orgasms are just orgasms stimulated by the internal structures of the clitoris.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 02:43 AM
56

My thoughts exactly. This is a standard trickle truth situation—it’s ALWAYS worse than they’re telling you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 06:08 PM
8

You don’t need a hysterectomy to get sterilized. They have done studies that show removing the uterus increases chances of dementia, never mind all the other things the uterus does for our bodies that science doesn’t understand because we don’t study women. I’m not trying to talk you out of sterilization—good for you, if that’s what you want, honestly—but there are safer options than full hysterectomy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 12:47 AM
8

Yeah, I know there’s a demographic of young people who use it for normal communication, which I don’t understand but pass no judgment on. It’s the grown men on dating apps, or who already have your number, that just want to exchange nudes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 07:15 PM
29

Grown men who use snapchat are low value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 04:39 PM
12

I was just wondering this too... I’m not dating right now because I have no desire to date a man who is dating during a pandemic; but when this is over, how will we know who took it seriously?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 04:37 PM
28

every time I read a post on there, it and the comments are misogynistic garbage haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 12:19 AM
22

ew at those flairs omg. what sub is this from??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 12:14 AM
7

I have codes. PM me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 04:14 AM
18

Come join us on Ovarit!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 01:40 AM
25

professionally trained to never lose an argument This is a perfect description for why I won’t date lawyers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 10:50 PM
93

FDS is basically the only truly feminist sub left in this misogynistic hellhole of a website.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 10:42 PM
22

We all want to be treated as we treat men. This. This is why this sub isn’t misandrist. All women have been taught to be caring and generous, put other’s needs before their own, etc. It goes without question that we are treating our partners well, and it isn’t unreasonable to expect the same treatment in return. Great post OP. I do sometimes worry I won’t be able to find my HVM, but like you say, I believe he must exist. Because why wouldn’t he??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 06:47 PM
3

I loved everything about this video: her accent, her attitude, her hair, her incredible body... thanks for sharing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 05:50 AM
29

Either way he is both condoning and perpetuating the abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 05:42 AM
124

He wanted the warning from his mom and sister, not the girlfriend, but still. He wanted a warning that his mom and sister were going to be cruel to his girlfriend, when it’s clear to everybody that they are regularly abusive to her. What an asshole. Don’t be with men who don’t stick up for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 05:38 AM
23

Autism isn’t a mental illness, it’s a neurological condition, but your point totally stands. It doesn’t matter what the reason for his bad behavior is; if he’s not treating you right, get out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 10:30 PM
10

relevant username. thanks for sharing. Horrifying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 03:46 PM
88

Love this. Say what you will about his politics, they are couple goals.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 04:27 PM
24

Clymer is a misogynist and not really the type of person I think we should be giving attention to tbh. Could have just shared the Elle link...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 05:09 AM
3

Male therapists can unknowingly, without intending to, gaslight you into doing things against your own best interests, because they don’t realize what it like to exist as a woman in this world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 03:56 AM
90

And pregnancy is the most vulnerable time in a woman’s life. I’m scared for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 05:25 AM
62

Yuppp. Between the title and the age gap I have all the information I need. The fact that she’s also pregnant? I’m horrified. I hope this woman can stay safe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 05:23 AM
25

men commit more suicide because they use more “reliable” methods, like guns, than women, who tend to choose less dramatic options, like pills, which are easier to reverse than a bullet to the head.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 01:40 AM
11

That’s fair, and I believe every woman should do what works best for her, but just because something is culturally done doesn’t mean it’s the best way. I live in a progressive part of the US, and yeah, most women move in with men before marrying them, and I see all the time men saying they would want to live with someone before proposing—but that doesn’t work for me, and it doesn’t mean I have to accept it. If I’m going to give up my alone space, complete control and responsibility over my home,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 09:13 PM
25

Absolutely. I think it works in rare cases where the woman is the one holding up the marriage or something, but in almost all situations, he has to put his money where his mouth is before you can count on him sticking around.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 09:08 PM
39

I hate to see women talk about “we’ve talked about marriage, he says he wants to marry me some day,” and build a fantasy from a hypothetical conversation. Don’t lay hopes in what could be future-faking. You don’t know for sure he wants to marry you until he has proposed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 09:05 PM
13

If you move in together without a promise of marriage, there is no promise of marriage. I often see it framed as a trial run. Don’t let men “try you out.” He can either commit to our life together or I’m not changing up my life to suit his needs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 09:00 PM
231

Don’t move in with men you’re not already engaged to!!! The relationship is “perfect as it is” because he already has everything he could want. Someone to have sex with, do the chores, contribute to household expenses, and he can leave at any time (when he meets someone he does want to marry) without consequences, because he hasn’t committed to you despite you thinking you’re building a life together.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 07:14 PM
5

Beautiful, thanks for sharing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 04:35 AM
1

Thanks!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 05:03 AM
2

me please :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 04:36 AM
29

Definitely. Unfortunately I believe most progress women gain against men/the patriarchy is because men decide it’s in their interests to grant it, not out of selfless concern for women :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 04:55 AM
51

I 100% agree with you buuuut.. if the outcome is fewer women and children trafficked, I’ll take it. The less men are rotting their brains and perpetuating the objectification and degradation of women—for whatever reason—the better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 04:49 AM
36

someone down thread found more posts from their history and 100% this is a man LARPing lol whoever downvoted you is just butthurt he doesn’t pass
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 10:07 PM
15

A man wrote this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 10:05 PM
9

I hate that she thinks asking him to respect her perfectly reasonable boundaries is potentially “asking for too much.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 03:14 AM
5

me too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 03:13 AM
66

The left has abandoned women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 10:47 PM
63

I do not believe that single women’s dating “horror stories,” as we charmingly call them, should ever be used as entertainment. These are our lives, our very earnest pursuits of partnership, and we’re not your fucking court jesters. And stop telling them to men you’re on dates with! Anyway, great article, thanks for sharing. I’ve already deleted all my apps because of COVID (and FDS), but this is the kick in the pants I needed to know I’m never going back. ✌🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 08:13 PM
4

I agree. Posts about this kind of stuff should be moved to the FDSSuperFans or something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 07:56 PM
9

He is my first boyfriend, we started dating just over a month ago...and I love him. 💀 edit now that I’ve read the whole thing: I feel like society needs to do better by young women like this. Girl, you can’t love a man you hardly know, and if you’re already having problems this soon, it’s not a good match! Poor girl, blaming herself for his low value behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 07:09 PM
20

And women are the desperate ones...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 05:18 PM
14

Two dates is not a budding relationship; it’s two dates. If a guy is showing red flags that early, just drop him and move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 10:11 PM
16

after my lifetime of living the life of the narcissistic predator Girllll. He can’t help himself, he has to share what this is really about: that he’s a narcissist preying on this poor woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 08:38 PM
17

Whomp there it is. They ALWAYS tell on themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 08:36 PM
15

punish all men Because having standards and keeping yourself safe is “punishment” to men 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 06:44 PM
6

No, pretty sure he worked at a smaller firm... But my ex before him was in law school and my abusive father is a patent attorney so I’m admittedly a little biased against lawyers by now haha One time I told this guy about an abusive situation I had just been in with my father, and he basically made it into a deposition instead of empathizing with me. And that’s when I swore off lawyers haha I don’t want a man that always has to be right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 03:43 AM
16

Civil rights attorney defending people who were fired based on discrimination? Tell me more! Dated one of those and he sucked too. Maybe it’s just me but lawyers are a no-go
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 03:26 AM
27

I feel like it’s a joke. An intended gotcha. It got me at first, and your analysis is otherwise spot on, but I don’t think it’s his actual fetish. (not that making jokes about/normalizing incest is ok.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 04:39 AM
6

I had this problem too until I got an IUD. The hormones are localized and consistent, and it basically tricks your body into thinking you’re pregnant so you don’t menstruate. It’s honestly improved my mental health drastically to not have a cycle (aka monthly mood swings) It’s messed up how little we understand or care about how women’s basic physiology affects bodily and mental health.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 06:38 PM
19

If they had a good argument...the gaslighting wouldn’t be necessary 100%. It’s the people that are screeching the loudest about how great something is that know deep down it’s not so.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 06:26 PM
5

“I want to deal with it as a Team” : I believe my tantrum has been valid and you will have to compromise yourself to appease my feelings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 04:47 AM
6

This. This is the only answer. How do I get my boyfriend to understand my boundary? By upholding it. Dump him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 01:14 AM
64

The two main ones are Spinster and Ovarit. Spinster is a twitter knock off and anyone can join. Ovarit models after reddit, but requires an invite code. Both were created (coding-wise) by the incredible MK Fain, who advocates for making technology accessible to all, and are moderated by only women. The discourse skews primarily radical feminist, although most other women-specific topics are welcomed. edit and of course the FDS website
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 06:36 AM
19

A few radical feminist subs still exist, but yeah the remaining mainstream ones are mostly trash. Grateful for FDS 🙌🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 05:18 AM
20

Your comments are amazingly informative. Fuck that guy. I don’t suffer from this but I’m grateful for your perspective regardless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 05:14 AM
7

Love this energy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 05:12 AM
138

Feminists are creating entire women-led websites instead. Reddit hates women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 05:09 AM
3

I just read Rebecca for the first time last month, and yes I was thinking of that book too! When I read it, again Maxim didn’t seem that bad (except the age gap, he never told her he loved her, and he haphazardly proposed over breakfast while calling her a fool! If someone posted their proposal story on FDS we would tear him to shreds—ok, so maybe not that great...) but the movie made a point to portray him as angry and abusive and I appreciated that at least. Maxim and Rebecca remind me of the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 04:25 AM
3

My biggest problem with him is when I first read the book, I had no problem with him. I loved Jane and she deserved a nice life. But like, wtf! That’s why I think this is such a great thread, because we do, as a society, just gloss over how shitty all these male characters are. I mean, there’s actually nothing wrong with being ugly, but Jane was put in an lose-lose situation, and to top it all off he’s unpleasant to look at! Why do we celebrate these kinds of stories as great romances??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 03:54 AM
3

Great thread, OP. Your take on Edward/Bella is spot on and hilarious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 01:29 AM
2

I didn’t pick up on this the first time I watched it as a teen, but watching it back a few years ago, I totally agree with you. (I recently read a reddit thread full-on blaming Jennifer Garner for his behavior 🤮)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 01:27 AM
4

This is probably ranked #1 on worst books for me—I could not get through it. And I’m a big fan of 19th century romance so that’s saying something. Speaking of Brontës though, Rochester from Jane Eyre too. Dude kept his wife chained in the attic, manipulated his much younger employee, and he was UGLY!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 01:24 AM
21

Except don’t. Nobody ever fuck this guy again haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 09:32 PM
45

This is beautiful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 07:35 AM
22

I will never understand how “sex work” is empowering and “gold digging” is shameful. Wanting to be paid to have sex vs wanting to be financially supported for your time and emotional labor. Idk. Misogynistic is right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 04:58 PM
1

There are men that try this BEFORE even deigning to take you on a walk lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 04:26 PM
41

Literally the only thing you have to do to plan a first date is pick an interesting place to eat dinner and tell her when to meet you there. If a man cannot do that, he is not worth dating!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 06:11 AM
9

It sounds like he’s just not all that interested.
/r/askFDS05/12/20 06:01 AM
11

It’s not about playing mind games with him; it’s about changing your mindset for yourself. An FDS woman is only interested in men who are actively pursuing her. If he wanted to see you again, he wouldn’t wait a week to make that known. You shouldn’t not text him as some sort of game to make him interested; you should not text him because YOU’RE not interested.
/r/askFDS05/12/20 05:59 AM
67

The other side of this is that no one is afraid of women, either. People are afraid of men—whether or not it’s from experience, whether or not it’s justified, whether or not it’s hateful. With women, it’s just hate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 05:23 AM
114

Women technically hold all the power of creation—every human alive was created by a woman’s body—and as much as men bluff and bluster about how powerful they are, deep down they know they aren’t shit compared to women. They hate us bc they have spent millennia trying to control us, and we STILL hold this position of superiority.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 01:33 AM
44

TwoX is like half men lol not much of a feminist sub imo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 01:29 AM
156

It’s so inclusive it excludes women who don’t toe the party line
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 01:24 AM
21

This didn’t need to be a big deal, but I think you’re right that his response to it was a red flag. He could have said, I was having an off night, sorry for frustrating you, let’s figure out how to work through this for the future, but instead he’s sweeping it under the rug and expecting you to just let it go. It’s not a good sign that he cares so little about your feelings. I think you should go ahead with dumping him. You can just text or call him and say, this isn’t going to work out.
/r/askFDS01/12/20 07:44 PM
37

My mom and stepdad are 16 years apart, and met when she was in her late 30s. I don’t think I would want a man THAT much older than me, personally, but he does treat her well, according to FDS principles. I do think the older you get, the more wiggle room you have with age gaps. Ten years older in your late thirties matters a lot less than it does when you’re early twenties. Obviously, HVM are the exception and not the rule. Keep vetting him, and if you find that the age gap DOES make you uncomfo…
/r/askFDS01/12/20 06:32 AM
84

He even says so: “a man could be thinking the same thing about, this isn’t the right girl for me.” But instead of thinking, hey these two people aren’t right for each other, he considers it an affront and believes women should change. A lot of this incel logic is based on the premise that every man deserves a woman. So when a woman won’t get with a man, it’s not about him or his behavior; she’s the one who needs to make herself more available.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 04:37 AM
223

Also like, what’s wrong with thinking I’m the main character?? It’s MY life. Fucking men, thinking women should be in the sidelines in their own lives lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 01:28 AM
200

Men are just sooo afraid they won’t be able to gaslight and abuse their wives, yep, that’s totally her fault.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 06:43 PM
24

Don’t move in with a man on the promise of an engagement eventually! Never breaking up is not commitment!! It’s the bare minimum. He already has the exact relationship he wants, why would he propose?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 03:28 PM
24

I want to read this, but the definition of sexism as “prejudice based on gender identity” is pretty off-putting. Sexism is prejudice based on SEX; it’s right there in the name! I do not have a gender identity, I am simply a woman, and I am discriminated against because of my female sex. Regardless, thanks for sharing! Seems like a pretty comprehensive list of subtle, abusive male behaviors and a valuable resource for this community.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 03:23 AM
96

The bar is in hell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 01:54 AM
15

So much this. The idea of consent being the be-all-end-all of an acceptable sexual experience minimizes the conditioning women face in our misogynistic society.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 11:10 PM
33

That one speech Frances Conroy makes in AHS: Cult, about the dam of female rage waiting to be broken, was my feminist awakening lol (and FDS of course)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 09:32 PM
60

She should leave the cats, take the kid, and go live with her mom. It’s never going to get better, she’d be doing less labor not having to take care of two man-babies, and maybe she could get back to work even part time. She’s doing herself and her child no favors staying; her excuses are just that—excuses. Rip the bandaid and be done with it. He’s a negative-value partner and she deserves so much better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 06:01 AM
5

Preach 🙌🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 06:01 AM
26

Also “girl” and “man” 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 03:44 PM
11

Wtf?? Why does she still live there?! I’m easily startled and this would be a big fat “never talk to me again”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 12:39 AM
15

Barf 🤮 Big Tech is inherently misogynistic. Disappointed by not surprised.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 12:22 AM
67

This is the natural conclusion of pro-BDSM/“don’t kink-shame” ~”feminism”~ It’s toxic and gross and actively harmful to women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 12:14 AM
5

Great advice. I’m not in this situation, but I see it as widely applicable 👌🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 12:10 AM
2

geez louise. what sub is this from?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 09:18 PM
16

Maybe men should stop masturbating in bushes.....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 06:55 AM
20

hahaha there’s an old joke that goes: “women are bad at distances, because they’re made to believe that this 🤏🏼 is 6 inches”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 01:17 AM
41

How can someone expect to get away with a lie of SIX INCHES??? It’s not like you can hide your height in person omg
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 11:26 PM
2

Because I am also an autistic woman with trauma, and I want to believe there exist men who support their disabled wives without taking advantage of them. If she is able to go to the hospital in a crisis, and he is supporting her in doing so, I don’t believe she is currently actually trapped, just in bad circumstances. I’m not denying the dude is the asshole. And I fully believe she needs to get her situation in order to not be under his power the way she is. But I personally don’t believe most p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 11:04 PM
15

I’ve read this twice now, it was posted earlier, and I’d like to think all he’s saying is that if he wanted to keep her trapped, he could, and she is realizing, I need to get my mental health in order to prepare not to be in such a situation. I’d like to think a man who’s been with his autistic and traumatized wife for nine years, who takes care of her completely while she heals, would not actually do such a thing were she choose to end the marriage. Hopefully he loves her and can support her ge…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 05:30 AM
61

Even if the guy really did lose or break his phone, he could still find a way to message you if he really wanted. My college boyfriend (LVM but still) had a broken phone for weeks and still managed to keep in contact with me every day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 04:38 AM
35

That line killed me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 05:31 PM
81

I agree and all, but this guy takes it to a whole new level
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 03:08 AM
14

This guy knows he’s taking the piss.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 11:32 PM
56

They blame women for not coddling them, but not the men who didn’t help them either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 11:29 PM
7

Yeah, I think there’s a difference between being emotionally closed off and purposefully not sharing things going on in your life, and not depending on a man for your emotional needs, if that makes sense. Even a committed boyfriend should not be the first person you go to to vent, in my opinion. But I don’t think we’re saying you shouldn’t share your emotions with him at all. Just be wary and take your time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 05:27 AM
16

I think the general logic is, don’t explain your vulnerabilities to a man you are still vetting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 05:12 AM
122

Love this energy. If you don’t like FDS, don’t read it. If you don’t like me, don’t date me. Women are not obligated to change themselves to suit other people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 04:17 AM
12

Ladies don’t you dare decide for yourself who is worth your time or not. Freely give away your time to every man who asks, or it’s discrimination. /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 09:06 PM
64

scrotes gonna sctote ✌🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 08:30 PM
6

This guy doesn’t really seem like he’s worth your time. Good for you for getting out of your comfort zone, but for now I’d say focus on your studies and wait for a guy who is clear with his intentions and meets your dating expectations. You do not have to adapt to men’s behavior; let them work for you.
/r/askFDS17/11/20 06:04 AM
17

It doesn’t matter if you’re ready or not, you can always say, thank you but I want to get to know you more. But he needs to be asking you out, or he isn’t going to and you’ll be stuck with pen pals.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 03:20 PM
12

Yes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 03:07 AM
188

I wish I could upvote this as many times as there are clowns
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 01:55 AM
54

Yes! I just said this in another comment. Just because it’s socially normal doesn’t mean you have to accept it if it doesn’t benefit you! You don’t need therapy just because you don’t agree with porn use. You’re allowed to set your own boundaries. Great comment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 07:18 PM
76

Additionally, just because something is “socially acceptable” doesn’t mean it’s ok, or that you have to find it acceptable for your own relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 07:12 PM
16

https://medium.com/@radfemfatale/immaterial-girl-d400f6c454c3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 06:14 AM
26

13 attempts. THIRTEEN. How about none, thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 04:30 AM
43

Yes!! We deserve more than “trying” from the people we decide to call PARTNERS. Was it Yoda who said “there is no try, there is only do or do not”? Ladies, pick a man who DOES.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 04:15 AM
47

I just read this essay too! The whole thing was amazing. “That women are the sole creators of material reality is a truth men are unwilling to confront.” Men think they run the world but where would any of us be without the creations of the female body?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 04:08 AM
16

If those are my options, I’d be proud to be a prude. Indiscriminate tolerance is not a virtue.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 03:55 AM
107

ONE thread? I’ve seen so many versions of this same story hahaha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 05:46 AM
44

This is absolutely unfair. He is 5 years older than you, making more than FOUR TIMES as much as you and demanding an even split? No way.
/r/askFDS01/11/20 06:05 PM
8

Hard agree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 12:01 AM
37

I wouldn’t marry him. You want a man who provides for you, and he does not. Also he tells you that you overreact? Honestly that was my number 1 red flag from your post/comments. I don’t get the sense this man respects you the way you deserve from the man you make your husband.
/r/askFDS25/10/20 11:05 PM
2

100% a woman’s handwriting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 04:38 PM
10

“She doesn’t overcompensate for how socially inappropriate I am”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 06:31 PM
5

You have concerns. They might seem relatively minor, but they are legitimate concerns to have because you have them. The real red flag here, however, is his response to you addressing your concerns. Don’t date someone who cannot hear your out. How do you think he will react when you have a bigger problem you need to discuss with him? Given that this was his response to something minor, I doubt he would welcome the discussion and work with you to come up with a solution you can both agree upon. T…
/r/askFDS13/10/20 12:02 AM
7

wow
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 01:04 AM
8

Great comment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 03:26 AM
2

what is this sub omg
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 05:16 PM
10

porn sick. next.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 05:50 AM
230

This is spot on. Not only is it ridiculous for a grown man to get grossed out over periods, the crying and expecting her to comfort HIM is so telling. It’s upsetting she’s still considering a second trash can like that was ever a reasonable solution in the first place. She’s so close to seeing it, I hope she gets out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 05:46 AM
14

But Shai wasn't deterred from exploring connections or opening the 'monogamous eyes' of women he's dated 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 04:32 AM
1

wow I’m sorry I didn’t educate myself more on experimental physics before commenting on a thread about astrology
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 10:24 PM
39

Pretty sure they’ve done studies that show the opposite. Engaging with pedophilic content actually makes someone more likely to offend, not less.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 05:21 PM
13

He can be manipulative and also still be stupid haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 06:32 AM
4

Yeah, I can’t imagine not getting to know someone sexually before committing to them for life. But I learned from FDS: no sex before commitment, and he’s not truly committed to you if he’s not putting a ring on it, so it makes logical sense... I think for me too, though, “vet, vet, vet” wins out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 03:44 AM
81

It seems very strange that he doesn’t realize he told her she could have an affair. He’s “butting in to her sex life” because they’re in a (previously) monogamous relationship and he’s too stupid to realize it’s not really about Delilah but him and his girlfriend. edit to add: I’m willing to bet she doesn’t have many other friends because he IS controlling. Delilah being manipulative is just as likely as if he is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 02:34 AM
0

Like I said, I don’t know a lot about physics, but you say yourself about colliding particles, and we know that chemical particles like pheromones, or things like viruses and bacteria, are shared between people in close contact, and I think, even further, people and communities can share energy (take FDS for example: I come on here and read positive words and stories from other women, and from their energy output, input positive energy toward my own growth). We have yet to prove planetary influe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 02:10 AM
1

I think this is an unfair characterization. I don’t believe science and spirituality are mutually exclusive. I’m not defending basing major life decisions on astrological predictions, but to say that someone who finds solace in astrology must have zero understanding of science and critical thinking is simply untrue. Yes, astrology and its devout believers can be a little hokey at times, and people complaining about those who use it as an excuse not to better themselves have a defensible position…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 12:32 AM
8

Hmmm this is a really interesting take. I wonder if there is a middle ground— I definitely don’t believe you need to have penetrative sex to discover kinks or limp dick, and maybe exploring the sexual relationship without PIV is enough to counteract what you suggest about a man marrying you FOR sex? I don’t know. Saving sex for marriage is also something I ponder but don’t think I could/would choose, and I’ve never thought about it like this before.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 11:52 PM
14

Omg. I might have to start doing background checks now....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 11:25 PM
5

Great post. FDS has helped me own my shit. I don’t need to accommodate everybody (esp. men) in order to be worthy, I just am. And I’m not ashamed to say it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 03:23 AM
7

Loving this energy 👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 03:15 AM
10

Spot on. I can feed myself, I don’t have to sit pretty and listen to some boring man for two hours just to eat a meal
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 03:09 AM
18

Don’t have her message him. He’s shown himself as LVM, just block and move on. I know it hurts, but engaging with him further, even through her, is like adding salt to the wound.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 02:06 PM
9

I don’t think it’s a failure of feminism so much as something we still have to talk about and do better at. Women’s health care is woefully understudied! Instead of putting women on more pills to counteract side effects of other pills, we should be improving our options for reproductive planning.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 06:30 AM
10

Reproductive health care
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 06:23 AM
7

I love mine, and I think it has a lot of benefits that are overlooked when discussing birth control + mental health, but I absolutely agree about more options. We should be educating women about their health and encouraging self-advocacy. 100%
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 06:16 AM
10

I think it’s the combination of the two. Birth control fucks with your cycle, thereby your hormones, thereby your emotional regulation. Then we pathologize women’s emotions and any amount of distress (like from trauma and stress, like from sexism, etc.) is medicated away; and on top of that, anti-depressants are formulated for men’s bodies, and dosing doesn’t take into account women’s cycling, so they aren’t even as effective, because again, sexism. Not understanding women’s bodies, not caring a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 05:04 AM
3

This was my thought as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 07:54 PM
5

Definitely not HVM; I counted at least five or six red flags. I also vote dump him and kick him out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 04:27 AM
1

I think then it should be on him to get better friends. It’s not her responsibility to lie about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 02:48 AM
14

I understood the question just fine. Sorry you don’t like the answer.
/r/askFDS12/07/20 01:06 PM
25

You can have whatever standards you want, but no woman just magically knows what she wants without dating a few duds first. If you want a woman who has never dated anyone, then you should examine why you think there’s something wrong with women having life experience. edit: and yes, in my opinion, it is wrong to have apathy for a woman you are thinking about spending your life with.
/r/askFDS12/07/20 08:38 AM
14

Oof.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 07:56 AM
76

I think your understanding of why women “choose badboys” and then “settle” fails to take into account that women are human beings who learn and grow, just like you. It’s not that women get all their fun out with the men they actually like and then choose some boring stable dude they don’t genuinely care for just because now they’re ready for babies; it’s that women have different needs and views on the world at different ages, and they’ll put up with shit in their teens and early twenties (or be…
/r/askFDS12/07/20 03:08 AM
49

RIGHT? This was heavy in misogynistic stereotypes to begin with, but that stood out to me too. Never mind that girls deal with acne and awkwardness TOO, they also deal with fucking grown men talking about their full breasts and full lips and bullshit—and do you think 13 year old girls don’t KNOW men think of them that way??? Oh they absolutely do, and it not as fun and empowering as he thinks, let me tell you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 01:53 AM
6

I was looking for this comment. So weird! It would definitely put me off if a man was rubbing my shoulders after a couple dates 😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 03:54 PM
22

Yeah, this is reasonable... but arguably, we should be fixing our education system and our social safety nets, so that women don’t have to be in that position in the first place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 05:19 AM
18

this is my favorite comment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 04:49 AM
10

gagging 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 12:02 AM
26

Yeah, I relate, but I think it’s about mindset. You have to believe there will be another man, to not take shit from the one in front of you. Because if he were really that into you, he would nail down a date; he wouldn’t allow that another man might come in and sweep you away in the meantime. Like you said, you and I both know, there isn’t always another man ACTUALLY waiting in the wings, but there ALWAYS will be another man, at some time, and why would you settle for a man who’s not eager to m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 02:45 AM
20

I think it doesn’t matter. There are so many men in the world; you don’t need to give them the benefit of the doubt or second chances.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 01:39 AM
15

I clocked that too. I absolutely do not believe it. He probably saw it on one profile once and felt so attacked he’s repeating it forever 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 04:48 PM
57

you learned your lesson and are leveling up! good luck with the move 💪🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 05:13 AM
22

I’ve been following this, and the women fighting back are glorious. Eloquent, emotional, RATIONAL arguments, and it’s ridiculous and saddening women are losing their spaces. So many women lose out on finding support when reddit makes thing private or disappear. Thanks for sharing this here. I love this community, and I think a website it a fantastic idea, but we need spaces on reddit too. I‘ve received so much good advice I never would have found on a smaller platform. We need to keep talking ab…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 04:20 AM
66

This is one of the most cringe things I’ve ever seen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 09:33 PM
3

👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 12:27 AM
8

After four months and he says you’re “exclusive,” you should say something, but I’d say you can do it however you feel most comfortable communicating with him. You guys haven’t spent that much time in person so you definitely can do it virtually, but call or text is up to you and what your standard is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 03:46 AM
9

It’s definitely the gym! lmao that headband though
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 04:24 AM
26

I don’t believe it but I totally could believe it hahaha I get troll vibes here though. It’s too spot on
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 06:18 AM
16

stay safe ❤️❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 06:16 AM
120

Great post. I for one love FDS’s “politics.” It’s very pro-women and women’s interests (which like you say, do include things like make-up, fashion, and, let’s face it, high-value men).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 03:27 AM
26

Wow. That essay was on point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 03:18 AM
152

He’s also entirely missing the point that, even under the assumption that men won’t pay full price for “mediocre pussy” (which, vom), a man who won’t pay for you is TELLING you he thinks you’re mediocre, and WHY would you want that???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 07:45 PM
81

that first picture is fucking creepy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 02:55 AM
2

Yes! That’s what I thought when I replied, that it could be okay if he just said, “oops, bad joke.” Certainly wasn’t expecting the response I got 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 01:21 AM
17

Great idea but I can’t stand to see that stuff on my feed. Keep fighting the good fight 💪🏼💪🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 04:45 PM
3

Anti depressants are more effective in conjunction with talk therapy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 08:56 AM
58

Love this! New strategy, not doing anything with/for a man he didn’t explicitly ask for first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 04:54 AM
18

Disgust.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 04:27 AM
9

Damn. So true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 04:26 AM
41

He literally says even further down he just wants to fuck out of curiosity. No joke. They out themselves every time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 04:24 AM
38

Yes! C’mon, girl.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 04:16 AM
1

thank you for sharing that, it makes me smile :) I’m sorry you’ve been sick! Mine has been rough, but only mentally so haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 07:39 AM
85

How do I even communicate with that? You don’t. You leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 05:26 AM
114

or you give them advice about something and three months later they tell you about how they have this new perspective on it like that perspective didn’t come from you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 09:57 PM
42

this goes to show abusers look like everybody else. they’re not all ugly and old. also that it can look “normal” from the outside...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 08:33 PM
7

I was tired of seeing everyone complain about how terrible it is to be in quarantine, and I want a man who’s default attitude is positivity, not nihilism. But I don’t disagree haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 02:51 PM
3

okcupid
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 02:22 PM
7

his other photos were better looking than his thumbnail, but I don’t deny the second part 💁🏻‍♀️👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 02:21 PM
26

😂😂😂😂 He was cute! I think he thinks it’s just a good joke....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 08:07 AM
18

It’s so gross. I showed it to my OT and she couldn’t believe it was real 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 07:31 AM
74

I know! His profile was totally my type too. Thank you kind sir, for allowing me to block and delete you right away with no remorse. (And thank you FDS for teaching me! haha)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 07:28 AM
52

the latent misogyny dripping from this message is astounding, no?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 06:45 AM
18

100%. And put you down further for being “emotional”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 02:16 AM
15

Yes, he could sense your confidence!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 02:11 AM
23

Can any of you imagine announcing this on your dating profile??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 01:54 AM
8

Men hating on women (an oppressed group) is nothing like women hating on men (their oppressors). again for those in the back
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 01:11 AM
54

wow, assuming he spends $50 on a date once a week for six months, that’s barely more than $1000. I’d never thought of it that way. Even if he takes you out twice a week, or to a fancier $100 date, it’s chump change for a financially stable man who’s actually interested in you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 01:02 AM
3

I love this energy. Keep it up 💪🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 12:29 AM
4

I think one key is to not stop swiping after you have found that one. You have to keep putting in the same amount of energy into finding men as you did before you had one “on the hook,” so to speak. It is hard. But from my experience, it’s so true that it’s necessary. It’s a mindset about where you’re directing your energy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 12:24 AM
8

One time my ex, in anger at me, slammed the door open so hard the door knob put a hole in the wall. He also told me once that he used to date women he perceived as less intelligent than him so that he could manipulate them more easily. I was smarter than him, but as a then undiagnosed autistic libfem five years younger than him, close enough. Man was manipulative. The doorknob was the closest he ever got to physical abuse, but damn if he didn’t teach me the hard way, “When someone tells you who …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 11:59 PM
6

“the conversation” = him monologuing with no care about the person he’s speaking too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 08:20 AM
9

that analogy though 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 07:59 PM
68

Hope you’ve blocked him now. Sorry you’re having to deal with this 🙄❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 05:53 AM
7

Yes 🙌🏼 We deserve men who treat us right on the first try.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 05:27 AM
25

girl, he’s already verbally abusive. That word is a slur.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 05:17 AM
9

He’s great. It was truly eye-opening reading about the four trauma responses. OP, I’d also look into reparenting, or how to heal from emotionally unavailable parents. You have to learn to give yourself the love your parents can’t.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 07:37 PM
15

haha funny, cause I think that one’s the worst
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 01:24 AM
13

It sounds like fake/forced intimacy. If you guys know the same person, maybe he thinks you’ll vet him less.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 01:04 AM
30

Lots of red flags here. Don’t waste more of your time, sis
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 05:41 AM
19

Imo, these are all things that will likely get worse as time goes on (the last one is just pure gross). I like to think of it this way: what if you could have a man who was all the things this man is—caring, generous, communicative, etc.—who also matched your active lifestyle, could cook, and didn't double down on his victim blaming when you called him out on it? You won’t be able to find that man if you stick with this one. I think you know in your heart/gut, this guy ain’t it. Don’t settle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 11:02 PM
13

Amazing. I love how his disability is that he’s just so darn good at everything everyone hates him, and how ALL of his family is dead except... you know, his nuclear family.... Thanks for sharing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 04:39 AM
32

I noticed that too!! Literally my biggest pet peeve
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 07:02 PM
12

wow, what a loser. To tell you you can’t talk about your sexual assault bc he cares more about his image than you speaking your truth—and it’s not even about him!! The audacity! Glad you’re rid of him and improving yourself, girl, you got this 💪🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 03:08 AM
16

Don’t tell him or he’ll know to hide it!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 02:52 AM
27

I’ve inadvertently dumped several men this way over the years, and I used to feel bad about it, but clearly they weren’t that into me either, or they would have reached out...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 09:16 PM
63

lol it’s not ghosting if you never texted them either good riddance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 07:38 PM
17

Exploring your sexuality does NOT have to include assplay and you are NOT a chicken for not wanting to do it. OP I think you need to work on your self-esteem and spend some time learning to listen to your gut. This all gives me a bad feeling and I think you are better off without this man. Please don’t blame yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 07:19 PM
6

This was infuriating to read. Good for you OP, not taking any of his gaslighting bullshit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 04:31 PM
29

girl, you don’t even need to wait and see, you have FOUR YEARS of evidence!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 04:18 PM
112

It’s like the term “daddy issues” ie victim blaming
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 04:34 AM
10

gotta get those internet points. I enjoyed reading it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 05:48 AM
2

Fuck that, I’m sorry they did that to you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 10:51 PM
9

I can too Get that mentality out of your head! It doesn’t matter what you can do, if you can chase a man (or pay 50/50 or whatever else), it’s about him showing you what he can do, how he can add value to your life. The first time he didn’t respond should have been enough for you to call it off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 01:36 AM
38

Girl, you gotta read The Rules by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider. You are giving this guy waaaay too much leeway. A HVM who is actually into you would not put you off in this way. He would communicate promptly and nail down a date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 01:19 AM
9

thank you for sharing this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 04:12 AM
23

I FELT number 8 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 04:09 AM
16

too truth
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 03:41 AM
113

Notice how he says, she won’t try these things FOR me, not WITH. He doesn’t view sex as something they do together. Gross. (also LMAO at anal and threesomes being “little” things)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 07:59 PM
12

stay safe ❤️❤️❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 05:42 AM
70

There are so many people in the world, there will always be more single people to befriend, and I bet you’ll find married people who have time for you, too. Gotta stay strong and remember your value ❤️❤️💪🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 05:40 AM
9

no!!!! definitely never ever go to a man’s house the first time you meet! You have no idea who this guy is. Never mind that it makes it 100x easier for him to manipulate you into bed, worst case scenario he could do you some serious harm! I don’t care if he seems nice over the phone. You don’t know that he is a “regular nice guy” after one week. Do not go to his house! If he can’t come up with a SAFE, public date idea, he is not worth your time, I promise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 01:12 AM
5

Gambling is a dealbreaker (for me). You should trust your gut and walk away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 12:18 AM
28

most of these men who spin this crap would not DARE make this clear pre date in real life because that means the woman could opt out so much this lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 12:07 AM
17

This is great advice. I’m an introvert and have been using apps for year (obviously not during the pandemic, it’s been great to take a break and invest in myself instead). After reading so much FDS I’m not sure I want to go back, but I’m worried I’ll never meet anyone! I do think joining communities is the way to go....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 09:15 PM
8

That text is 100% audacity. You gave him a soft brush off, that he was perfectly capable of interpreting as you weren’t that interested, and here he is trying to make you feel guilty about it. I agree in this situation, with the mutual friend, it’s probably best not to be rude about it, but you don’t owe him ANYTHING.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 05:23 PM
1

This is what I was thinking! Already had her lined up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 03:04 AM
1

great comment!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 03:02 AM
9

Instant dump. Hell, I’ll dump a guy for telling me to relax or calm down, never mind “shut up” or cursing at me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 09:40 PM
29

He didn’t ask you to dinner; that text sounds sarcastic— “You don’t want to walk, you must expect a fancy dinner date, huh? 🙄” Idk, imo the trash took itself out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 03:49 PM
6

preach 🙌🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 03:17 PM
76

Horrifying. Great strategy, I will definitely be remembering this one!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 04:08 AM
15

It’s my favorite one! Thanks for the reminder that caring men still exist ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 03:10 AM
2

Aw, OP, I just want you to know I’m here reading and listening to you and sending support and positivity ❤️❤️ ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 03:05 AM
5

great comment!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 02:36 AM
16

Everything is women’s fault and requires women’s energy to fix. It drives me bonkers!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 08:49 PM
7

He sounds like a dud, girl
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 08:45 PM
5

As someone who has been in her shoes, it’s really hard to get out of an abusive relationship for good. I think the best you can do is be there for her—keep reaffirming that he sucks and that she doesn’t have to put up with it, and remind her that when she’s ready to get out, you’ll still be there for her. But other than that unfortunately there’s not much you can do until she decides for herself she’s done with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 08:36 PM
15

A fair number of screenshots around here show women engaging with them after they’ve showed their true colors, but I think the general FDS mindset discourages that, and I know I see women calling out other women for doing so. Also, welcome! lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 08:32 PM
16

They want women to do all the work, all the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 05:20 PM
13

It’s my #1 pet peeve
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 10:57 PM
21

I see your point but people call 30-year-old women girls all the time...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 10:24 PM
12

A response like that shows no commitment to bettering himself, and if you’re not bettering yourself you’re getting worse. If he’s not actively trying to stop a daily habit, he’s not going to stop a daily habit. You do deserve better, sister.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 05:57 AM
8

This makes me think of the book Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood. Maybe you could recommend/give it to her and if she likes it tell her you found it here (the Handbook recommends it). She talks about women who use love with bad men as a drug (a lot of women who enable alcoholics also have binge eating disorders). It’s a really thorough explanation of why/how women become enablers and how they can enforce boundaries and even move on from men who take advantage of them. It was the book tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 04:42 AM
47

Shaughna is the kind of PickMe who like, recognizes she’s a PickMe, but thinks it’s an acceptable character trait and that she deserves to be walked all over... Her behavior was infuriating to me haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 11:42 PM
25

If he’s abusive he’s not LV, he’s negative value. Focus on getting yourself out of that house as your #1 priority. I moved out of my emotionally and mentally abusive father’s house 9 years ago and I’m STILL unlearning the negative self-talk and low self-worth he instilled in me. Also, therapy helps, and admitting you need some professional help working through years of abuse doesn’t mean you need to be institutionalized. Stay strong, we’re here for you ❤️💪🏼 edit a word
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 11:37 PM
71

I’m sorry but I just can’t with young women calling men a decade older than them “my partner” y’all ain’t equals
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 11:33 PM
105

men are so gross
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 09:51 PM
3

Like all those commercials weren’t written/directed/produced/paid for by men in the first place 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 08:17 PM
20

The way I see it, men expect us to do the majority of the emotional labor, I expect to be compensated for my time/effort
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 06:44 PM
4

This happened to me recently too. Dude was the most boring man I’ve ever met.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 06:25 PM
2

I think you should be going on the same number of dates after he is your boyfriend as you were before. Just because you’ve made it ~official~ doesn’t mean he’s allowed to stop taking you out. Maybe now you also “hang out” once or twice a week, in addition to date night, but hanging out shouldn’t replace dates. (This is what The Rules says, too. Great book for raising your standards.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 06:19 PM
16

They want to make sure you’re not catfishing because they are 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 06:11 PM
12

When you come home from your day job and then do all the work of running the household
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 12:23 AM
27

You’re basically saying, I’m ok accepting the bare minimum for the rest of my life
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 06:02 AM
103

The other thing is that the ring sets the standard. If he can’t even start your engagement out right with a decent ring, you can’t expect him to step up any further down the road. An engagement ring is arguably the most symbolic material item a woman ever owns, and that’s the best he can do???? Men benefit from women’s low standards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 05:06 AM
30

Opal is actually quite soft, which wouldn’t be a great choice for a ring you’re supposed to wear every day for decades
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 03:01 PM
2

The first time a man says he will call and doesn’t, I’m out. He can pay all the lip service he wants, but if he really valued talking to you, he’d text/call you first and not put you off or forget about you. I think the pandemic is making everyone a little crazy, and maybe he does want and is all the thing he says he wants and is, when he’s on his best behavior in the beginning of a relationship, but he’s also showing you how he will treat you when things get real. I for one have taken this situ…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 12:37 AM
6

It is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 11:21 PM
2

😂😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 10:51 PM
12

You could also just send a quick message, if that makes you feel better, “This isn’t working out for me. Take care,” or something equally basic—though still just block right away bc you don’t need to hear whatever manipulative bullshit he might spew back lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 09:51 PM
4

I’m reading this thinking, “go live your best life, little table!” and that’s it right there: I have more empathy for a fucking inanimate object than most men do for women lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 09:24 PM
5

Anytime I see a man making a face like that I assume he has bad teeth 🤭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 09:18 PM
13

Society is so mean to women and we internalize it so easily if we’re not careful
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 09:09 PM
51

God, the level of controlling, that you can’t just date blonde woman, you have to date brunettes and manipulate them into changing their hair omg
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 05:11 PM
6

I feel like autistic men are worse than NT men when it comes to entitlement. They think they’ve had it hard and want to be praised for the minimum human effort they’re making, while autistic women are going undiagnosed and unsupported for literally decades, and then we’re supposed to give them our emotional labor and help them navigate social situations we’ve had to put tremendous effort into understanding all by ourselves??? Idk as an autistic woman I want to be inclusive and not judge fellow N…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 09:23 PM
5

Women are conditioned to give chances to men they aren’t that into. No need to beat yourself up for it; just realize it’s a pattern for you and do better in the future ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 08:55 PM
2

Literally, yes. They know firsthand how poorly men treat women, and they don’t want someone doing it to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 08:43 PM
21

“is it just another failed “feminist” experiment where everyone is pretending things are equal but men are still coming out on top?” It’s this lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 04:46 PM
6

Just want to add to the chorus, that there WILL be another man who is understanding and makes you feel safe, who also thinks you’re the most beautiful woman in the world, but you won’t be able to find him if you’re stuck wasting your time with this guy instead of investing your energy in yourself. You got this girl 💪🏼❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 09:16 PM
22

Men that much older than you want someone they can control, or otherwise squeeze you into the woman-shaped box they have imagined you should fit inside. They don’t want equal partners, whole women with their own thoughts and opinions. If they wanted someone who called them on their shit they’d date women their own age.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 10:22 PM
8

I’ll gladly do none of those things not to end up with a guy like him 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 07:08 PM
3

I think this just goes to show that equality of treatment isn’t necessarily the way to achieve equality. You were not raised differently by your parents as girl, but society teaches you and your brothers different things (so much male entitlement), and it seems like your parents did nothing to counteract that... Anyway, thanks for sharing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 07:06 PM
44

you don’t need to be dating men that much older than you (trust me, I get it, I was at your age too). Also I know you know this but just don’t engage! As you can see all you got back for your effort was shame. You don’t need that in your life. Just delete right away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 06:40 PM
4

Let’s shut down the rude woman yelling at everyone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 06:37 AM
1

you literally take one women’s words and twist them for your argument against another woman, it’s amazing to watch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 06:36 AM
1

wow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 06:24 AM
0

Because there is a difference between the words in the Koran and the lived experiences of Muslim women around the world. Those women have shared their experiences, as women, as Muslims, with you, and you are telling them that they are wrong and ignorant. That is not the kind of women-uplifting I wish to see on this sub. For the record, I upvoted your original post. I don’t agree with Islam. But Islamophobia makes me nauseous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 05:47 AM
1

You are putting words in my mouth. I did not say you hated Muslim women, I am simply asking that you respect all voices in the debate. You wrote what I considered to be a mean comment to another woman who took the time to explain her position as a Muslim woman to you, and now you are accusing me of not caring, when clearly I also care enough to add my perspective. FDS should not be a place where we attack other women for disagreeing with us. That is my opinion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 05:30 AM
1

I just want to say thank you for sharing and I’m here for you!!! I’ve been in that place, noticing all the little thing you let slide, so I just want to remind you it does you no good to beat yourself up for this! It is 100% his fault, and you have successfully removed yourself from the situation. You got this 💪🏼❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 04:56 AM
7

Don’t initiate it either. Let him set the pace (unless it’s too fast in which case, state your boundary, and if he doesn’t listen, NEXT)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 04:41 AM
8

If you’re going to have a relationship with him, y’all need to start from the beginning. He needs to court you as if he were any other man off the street. Follow FDS and vet, vet, vet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 04:36 AM
6

Ouch shots fired. I let this happen to me with a male friend once before I found FDS. Never again 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 04:32 AM
7

“Remember that if a man really had the same values as you sexually, you don't need to be giving him instructions and teaching him how to be good to you.” Yesss I’m sure this holds true for all values. If he doesn’t value the same things as you, he won’t act in ways that reflect your values, and why would you want that in your life???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 04:28 AM
7

I think there’s a difference between respecting someone’s faith and rejecting systems of oppression. There are faithful Islamic women who hold nuanced views of their religion and who fight the patriarchy, etc. In my opinion FDS shouldn’t be a place where we bring down other women, and it’s important to recognize that they exist in this space as well. You’re entitled to your opinion, but so are Muslim women in this sub.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 03:38 AM
12

I am not Muslim but would be disheartened if FDS became a place with such hate (so reddit 🙄) that you felt the need to self-segregate. I’ve been lurking long enough to recognize your picture/username, I just want to say don’t go! lol All women should be welcome in FDS. I for one appreciate the varied perspectives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 03:24 AM
2

as a non-Muslim woman, I appreciate your detailed, passionate and nuanced response to the oc, who I believe is the one showing her ignorance. just saying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 03:16 AM
9

Facebook is gross. Their hate speech policies are ass backwards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 02:56 AM
101

That’s a lot of words for “no (but I’d have sex with you anyway)”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 04:43 AM
15

Say something vague “just seeing what’s out there” and punt the question back to him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 04:08 AM
28

This is disgusting. If this is how he talks about her IN FRONT OF HER, imagine what he’s saying behind her back. He hardly sees her as human.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 08:47 PM
8

I’m at the point where I apologize AND block and delete hahaha baby steps!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 04:06 PM
2

Those are all red flags. He’s “up all night” thinking about what he did wrong but still manages to puts all the blame on her??? yeah ok. And honestly, if he’s not calling out his dad’s behavior, he’s condoning it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 10:42 PM
1

Nope, dump him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 10:31 PM
1

This is goals 🙌🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 09:52 PM
2

That’s so gross, not even “can I swing by” —“should I?” like wtf, like you ~need~ him to do so or something..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 08:01 PM
2

I hope you have her chipped!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 07:38 PM
3

You don’t need to beat yourself up for it, we all make mistakes! Just learn from it and don’t do it again ❤️❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 07:34 PM
3

4 minutes hahaha truth
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 01:11 AM
2

All the more reason not to fake it IMO
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 01:07 AM
33

I think yes, if you’re into that type of man and he treats you well... A HVM is someone who adds value to YOUR life, and that’s probably a little different for everyone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 12:27 AM
1

This doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship. It doesn’t really matter who started it; if you’re both engaging in toxic behavior, it’s probably time to call it quits.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 09:26 PM
6

You shouldn’t have to feel like you have to prove yourself. He can either take you at your word and your actions, or it’s his loss. There’s no reason to change your behavior or the dynamic in the relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 01:05 AM
0

You ask him why he’s engaging with someone who’s not interested, but if you’re not interested, why are YOU engaging with HIM???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 06:47 AM
2

Yeah it seems like it’s mostly the opposite—careers LVM flock to lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 04:37 AM
8

Dump him. Your mental health is sooo important for your physical health, and him potentially causing issues with your neighbors—not caring about your anxiety—is detrimental to your health. You’ve broken up once already, kick him fully off the curb lol You got this!! You’re stronger than you know ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 04:20 AM
14

35 year old men don’t change.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 04:09 AM
9

Every time you catch yourself thinking something positive about him, remind yourself of a time he treated you poorly. It gets easier eventually, I promise ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 04:07 AM
3

also don’t go on a second date if he didn’t pay for the first one!! It’s not going to get better lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 09:00 PM
1

amazing 🙌🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 07:52 PM
7

You won’t find another person you click with so well who DOESN’T make comments that make you uncomfortable if you stick around wasting your time with this guy who does.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 05:52 PM
14

I’m not crying, you’re crying
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 04:28 PM
5

thank you I needed to hear this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 03:48 AM
20

also no societal pressure to get married??? yeah right
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 03:26 AM
14

motto 🙌🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 03:13 AM
5

“You need to know you will not be alone if you involve yourself in the world around you.” Love this, thank you. great post ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 11:30 PM
3

they’re also super misogynistic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 11:18 PM
6

TIL “serious business inquiry” = asking non-sex workers to do sex work for you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 11:12 PM
5

yuuup
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 11:09 PM
3

it’s so cringy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 05:27 AM
3

Also, Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 10:05 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter