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SingleISuppose Archive

View 22 posts and 155 comments by SingleISuppose on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
137

SingleISuppose/r/Divorce_Men26/05/20 03:04 PM
51

SingleISuppose/r/Divorce_Men10/01/20 02:58 PM
42

SingleISuppose/r/Divorce_Men19/09/20 03:50 AM
42

SingleISuppose/r/Divorce_Men10/06/20 01:48 PM
40

SingleISuppose/r/Divorce_Men12/06/21 09:34 PM
40

SingleISuppose/r/Divorce_Men28/12/19 06:52 PM
38

SingleISuppose/r/Divorce_Men26/02/20 05:00 PM
28

SingleISuppose/r/Divorce_Men14/02/20 08:12 PM
26

SingleISuppose/r/Divorce_Men24/01/20 03:14 PM
23

SingleISuppose/r/Divorce_Men19/03/20 08:49 PM
14

SingleISuppose/r/Divorce_Men26/12/19 03:48 PM
12

SingleISuppose/r/Divorce_Men06/04/20 03:39 AM
11

SingleISuppose/r/Divorce_Men02/12/19 03:33 PM
7

SingleISuppose/r/Divorce_Men31/12/19 04:35 PM
6

SingleISuppose/r/Divorce_Men09/01/20 04:32 PM
5

SingleISuppose/r/Divorce_Men16/12/19 09:21 AM
4

SingleISuppose/r/Divorce_Men21/01/20 02:37 PM
4

SingleISuppose/r/Divorce_Men18/02/20 04:55 PM
4

SingleISuppose/r/Divorce_Men24/12/19 01:46 PM
2

SingleISuppose/r/Divorce_Men29/12/19 06:35 PM
2

SingleISuppose/r/Divorce_Men19/12/19 03:47 PM
1

SingleISuppose/r/Divorce_Men11/01/20 05:11 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

yup... same for me, it's horrible and I am losing my shit about it.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/21 03:05 PM
6

#5 !!!!! ​ Apparently taking the kids to band practice and sports is an inconvenience and just not worth her time... it's just infuriating
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/21 01:07 PM
3

Don't do these things out of revenge... do them out of respect for yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/21 11:04 PM
2

"the procreation and education of children is the primary purpose of marriage" and "So now we are about to get divorced because she doesn't want to have any more children." ​ That sounds a bit controlling and I'd want out too. The primary purpose of marriage is to spend your life with your best friend. Sorry you're going through this but I definitely can't relate. Hope you make it out the otherside with a better understanding of who you are and who you want to be going forward (because I truly b…
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/21 09:56 PM
3

It's still a journey, take time to heal. Congrats on your new adventure.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/21 02:57 PM
3

if you don't have kids, feel happy.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/21 04:03 PM
9

I wish we could co-parent. She left me for a coworker and now acts like I abused her or ruined her life. She can't be bothered to respond to ANY texts and insists that we only respond through an email account that her controlling boyfriend has access to. It's really sad, all I want to know is if she's available to take our kids to piano lessons on her days if I sign them up and pay for them.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/21 02:23 PM
1

My advice is to really take the parenting class to heart. They'll talk about working together with the other parent to do what's best for the kids and I couldn't agree with that more. Good luck to you.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/21 04:26 PM
1

We had the same experience. Whether or not you were cheated on is irrelevant. You feel the way you feel and that is what matters. Do you need confirmation in order to move on? What good would it do? You may as well assume that she cheated if that will help you move on. Obviously don't spread rumours, don't send those assumptions out into your family and friends... but internally, if that will help, then use it. In my situation, I am not sure what came first, the emotional affair, the actual affa…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/21 02:36 PM
8

Oh, for sure... and I will. It's just that I hate the times when they're away.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/21 09:58 PM
1

I feel that, divorced after ten... and two kids. All her. Now she treats me like I fucked her best friend.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/21 04:08 PM
4

The obvious answer is to start exercising, a lot. And I would agree with that. It worked for me, it did wonders. Start getting a good night sleep. Stop snacking. Start stretching or doing yoga in the morning. Eat better. You're going to have new freedom that you never had before, be sure to use it to your benefit instead of using it to drink yourself into a spiral of depression. ​ You need to do these things for you. You're not trying to win her back. Your personal journey is just beginning. Emb…
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/21 03:12 PM
7

Our marriage was struggling and she wanted a divorce. Turns out she was pregnant with a coworkers baby. Gave birth 3 months after the divorce was finalized. My son is taking it all with a broken heart and in turn, so am I.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/20 02:01 PM
1

my wife got pregnant with some dude's baby and decided she should probably live with him.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/20 12:47 PM
3

eat healthy. get in shape. excercise does wonders for self esteem.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/20 05:08 AM
10

hey man, take some deep breaths. you don't need a divorce. you need some time to yourself. talk to your wife. join a gym. set aside two hours a day to exercise and have a little personal time. small children can be overwhelming but that is no reason to run away. you need to learn to manage it. talk to someone. talk to your wife. tell her you're losing it. in a few years when you have everything figured out you will be incredibly relieved that you didn't make a giant mistake.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/20 01:23 PM
2

I appreciate that. I would if I could afford it. got let go from work two weeks after the divorce was finalized. I'm strong enough to know when I'm struggling... this is that time. now I have to pull myself out the other side with friends and family. it will happen soon. When I posted this I had only known the info for a few minutes. 24 hours later and I'm feeling a bit better. still stings, but it doesn't change my situation at all. I'm still not married to her, now I just know how much more sh…
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/20 01:23 PM
1

Uh huh, sure.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/20 11:22 PM
5

Nope, divorced a month ago... she lied to the judge about being pregnant obviously.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/20 07:10 PM
9

Because we were not sexually intimate. I frequented dead bedrooms a lot...
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/20 04:49 PM
15

Yah, I'm only 30 minutes into knowing this. I'll recover quickly.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/20 03:17 PM
4

My son used to sleep with mine when he was 3-4 to comfort him, he's 6 now, it's in his secret special place with his other treasures (like marbles and crystals, etc).
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/20 07:42 PM
9

She's totally up to something... like being a selfish person that doesn't care about her kids. Sounds like you should take her up on the offer and then see if she'd like to give you full custody and just disappear... ugh. Hiw could anyone want to see their kids less?
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/20 05:32 AM
7

Are you me?!? I just turned 40 four days after my divorce. Started dating a girl 3 months before that (our first date was because my ex-wife introduced our kids to her boyfriend... I didn't know she had a boyfriend, when I found out I said "fuck it, lets go on a date") ​ Just to add to what you said, not only do I have a new girlfriend that's younger, much more attractive and just a better person than my ex, but she's opened my eyes to how terrible my wife was to me for so many years. She is sup…
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/20 08:13 PM
3

Yah, I feel bad for the guy dating my ex as well. Go meet some women... with a 6-foot buffer distance, of course.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/20 06:50 PM
0

For me, the divorce was mutual. Nobody was heartbroken, we both were looking forward to making an actual romantic connection again and so dating for me began as soon as paperwork was filed. (and we're both in really good relationships right now and the divorce isn't even finalized)
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/20 06:49 PM
2

We decided to get divorced in October. My sock day will be April 6th. This all happened with little to no custody disputes, property disputes or financial issues. Dobby is free!!!
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/20 12:22 PM
4

I know!!! I absolutely didn't want to sit in that courtroom and face her, no doubt she'd have the "man" she left me for with her for support.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/20 03:37 AM
4

hopefully they don't send out those rumored quarantine checks to every family until my wife and I are officially not married.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/20 10:37 PM
1

yah, I mean "unstable to have two homes"? How about "unstable to not see his father as much as his mother"?
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/20 03:11 PM
1

I was fortunate, in that my ex and I were 50/50 from the get go. Does she have a reason for wanting more of your child's time besides... just wanting it?
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/20 02:45 PM
2

happy to help. I've somehow landed on my feet WAY too soon after seperating. I don't know how it happened. I secretly worry that it's too soon... but I've lost nearly 30lbs (down to 183 from 211) and I've found a wonderful woman who is kind and thoughtful and LOVES me for who I truly am. I didn't know I could be this happy. Last night was a night where we both didn't have our kids. We met at the gym after work, got our workouts in, went and got sushi, had a bottle of wine and sex before bed. My …
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/20 06:25 PM
1

wow, I was doing this and didn't even know it.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/20 03:13 PM
22

Hey man, you're not alone. Welcome to the subreddit. Most of us had some low times.. get ready for some rambling.... I've found that exercise helps... I mean, it really really helps. Your (possibly ex) wife is still in the house with you? Awesome! Go to the gym and hit an elliptical for an hour while she sits on the couch after the kids are asleep. Do cardio for A FULL HOUR. If you're like me, you won't think you can do it. You'll sweat your ass off and 10 minutes in you'll be ready to quit. Don…
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/20 02:42 PM
1

Right to first refusal, that is, if it's her weekend with the kids and she's being selfish and would rather go away with the new boyfriend... (it will happen) She is court-ordered to offer the kids to you for the weekend before looking elsewhere. (Our agreement is if you can't be with the kids for a 4-hour period or longer, you have to ask the other parent).
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/20 03:41 PM
1

why do you think this has something to do with hypergamy? just curious.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/20 05:39 PM
6

Same thing happened to me. It's been a few months and I'm still furious about it. It was the thing that made my divorce go from amicable to shitty. My poor kids, I love them so much... I don't know why she doesn't put them first.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/20 05:38 PM
4

isn't it fascinating how empowering a divorce is? like, I am so fine being alone... so if things don't work out with a woman, that's fine.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/20 03:01 PM
4

yah, the kicker is that I'm just about the happiest person you'll ever meet. I'm a people person, I am kind, I am just very likable. I've realized since she left how much she was holding me back over the last few years, always being concerned about putting her in places she was uncomfortable (but I wasn't)... so I'm really feeling good about my outlook going forward. Now I'm making a lot of progress on forgiving her, it's only making me stronger.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/20 06:58 PM
2

I think you're right about most of this. Not positive that she wanted me to find her diary. She hadn't written in it in 3-4 years. But it really has helped me with closure. I just wish I hadn't been so upset with her, I feel like I burned a bridge that I didn't want to burn. Our friendship has been trashed... and our children and our own lives will suffer because of it. I wish there was a way to communicate all of this stuff with her without bringing up the diary aspect of it, but I feel like th…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/20 05:36 PM
5

I mean, they ask your salary. you answer with your salary.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/20 09:52 PM
8

his boss put him in for a promotion... he hasn't gotten a promotion. He's not suggesting that he lie in court.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/20 09:24 PM
3

I knew my ex left me for an old guy... I saw a video of him and thought "wow, that guy looks older than his age". Turns out that video was from five years ago.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/20 01:18 AM
8

I would say that you're a stronger man than I am, but my perspective is that a stronger man would leave. LEAVE. HOLY SHIT LEAVE. Leave for you kids' sake. Leave for you. LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/20 08:44 PM
5

Holy shit, I'd love to be in your position. No kids, no home to split up. Things may seem overwhelming right now but that's to be expected. Now you get to focus on you. Find some hobbies. Find a new job. Live where YOU want to live. She's taking the dog? That sucks... but now you get to move and get a dog that's all yours. You get a new start. ​ THINGS WILL BE FINE!!!!!!!!!! Be thankful that you get this chance now and not 10 years from now. ​ I don’t want a divorce, but she is done and is not i…
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/20 03:27 PM
5

She cheated on you with her boss. Fucking run. ​ Hit the gym, hit the weights. Eat salads. Slim up. Date cute younger women. Enjoy your new found freedom from a woman who doesn't give a shit about your feelings.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/20 02:27 PM
3

you said it... lawyer up.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/20 05:58 PM
1

Noice.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/20 12:36 AM
2

I mean, she is a joke..
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/20 12:31 AM
2

Oh, it was literally a "oh! Hey, how are you? And her saying "I'm good, how are the kids?"
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/20 12:07 AM
1

No, she literally had them 24 hours earlier. That was kind of why I was annoyed. Like, you KNOW how they're doing. You clearly don't care how I am doing.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/20 07:12 PM
1

yup, that's weird.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/20 06:08 PM
1

yah, I'm sure that's great. Are you in the same house you were in when married? Like, is she returning to the neighborhood and the daily but staying down the street?
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/20 05:36 PM
11

If I didn't have amazing kids, this would be such an easy answer.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/20 03:22 PM
2

I'm a month from 40, for me she is 32 and incredibly sexy and horny... I stayed at her house this weekend. It was a crazy weekend and I'm exhausted.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/20 03:54 PM
9

Exact thing happened to me. There was someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/20 01:45 PM
1

I don't think that matters. I don't think she can dictate where you live. Not to mention, if she really had a problem with it for some unwarranted reason (congrats on leaving that headcase) you could always tell her to pay your rent somewhere else. I'm guessing if you moved into a crackhouse she could have the courts reassess your custody situation... but it sounds like you just want to live in a nice place to raise your child. That's where child support comes into play. I know that in my state …
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/20 07:59 PM
3

That's where alimony/child support comes in. The idea is that the money gets split so that neither of you provide an environment that better or worse than the other. Your mileage may vary... but you should definitely be pursuing some sort of financial assistance from her to even the playing field.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/20 04:21 PM
3

It's possible that you could have a discussion with him about being two decent human beings. A "look, I know this sucks. This is hard for you, it's hard for me... we're both going through this. Does yelling 'idiot' at me make this better for you?" type of talk. It's possible that he feels like he's going through a lot emotionally and you do a good job of looking like this is easy for you. He says these things because he wants you to hurt as much as he does but doesn't think this is hard for you.…
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/20 04:33 PM
5

What kind of comments is he making? For me, in the time between the divorce talk and the moving out part of the situation I finally felt like I could say the things out loud that I had always wanted to say but tiptoed around. Things like "you couldn't even rinse out the sink?" or "why did you leave the garbage can in the middle of the kitchen?". I wasn't even saying these things to her, they were said quietly when she wasn't even in the room. It was like I had a newfound freedom to do a little b…
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/20 04:09 PM
6

you've got this man. your marriage was abusive, and toxic. It wasn't healthy. Use today to motivate yourself to become a better person. Join a gym! work out! you can do better for yourself. ​ you know it's the right thing.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/20 06:41 PM
1

It's a damn struggle. That is for sure.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/20 11:45 PM
1

I mean, the kicker for it is that her mother did the same thing to her dad when she was 20... and her mom ended up marrying the guy and they're still married 15 years later. So she's seen this work before. I'm sure her dad is thrilled about how this is playing out. The guy? He's a divorced man with no kids who is 8 years older than her. He's insecure (he's still insecure about me of all things, like she's going to come back to me... and like I'd take her back). He's keeping my kids full of ice c…
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/20 07:04 PM
3

I mean, she's not going to listen... even after she introduced him to them as "her friend from work" I suggested NOT continuing to have him around them. That lasted 3-4 days. There is really no point. Not to sound all vindictive or angry, but I really hope that relationship dies quickly. ​ EDIT: I'm just happy I got it in writing that they can't move to a different school district without my approval.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/20 05:31 PM
3

I tried... she didn't listen. That's part of why I think she's a piece of shit. She introduced her boyfriend to the kids before the kids knew we were getting divorced.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/20 05:12 PM
1

How do I get over the angry feelings of this guy being in my daughters life and more then likely living with her? Believe me, I am living this right now. The truth is, I'm definitely not over it. I don't want to meet this "man". I want nothing to do with him. The only thing I can say that might help in your situation is that your daughter won't see these things the same way you do. What she will see is that Daddy is mean/angry. The reality is, all this man did is expose what a piece of garbage y…
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/20 02:43 PM
3

Absolutely your entire post is relevant to my situation. I hope you're right on all of it. (you are right on the younger, more flexible woman too!)
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/20 01:34 AM
2

My ex tried to tell me that I was never at the kids doctor's appointments. I was at nearly all of them. Honestly, 90-95% of them. I was at all of the scheduled ones and when I could be, I would be the one that took them to the unplanned illness ones as well. She sits there and says I was never there. It's like she blocked my presence from her mind. Totally bizarre. I swear she's trying to gaslight me about a lot of things. It's shocking... if she honestly believes the things she claims happened …
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/20 06:00 PM
13

really good advice. It's interesting that I always read things like "don't break up on bad terms" and I think I can absolutely be nice to my ex-wife and be friends with her... but then I see her an all of her lying bullshit just takes over my brain and I'm angry again. Any advice about that? The reality is that she didn't hurt me by leaving. She hurt me by lying. She didn't have the ability to respect me enough to tell me the truth when she left me for another man. I don't even care that there i…
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/20 03:30 PM
1

that is excellent advise. if you need to get away, take up a hobby.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/20 03:47 PM
5

Nice job! I'm almost exactly like you except I started at 210 and am now at 188-ish. I feel good, I look good... and the new girlfriend is super psyched that my ex-wife is a lying bitch because she's having a great time. ​ Keep it up, life keeps going, absolutely no reason why we shouldn't!
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/20 02:19 PM
2

I'm happy to hear that. I hope it sticks with you. Every time I think about sitting on the couch and eating a snack I think about my ex-wife eating cookies and watching TV. Fuck that. I'm getting skinny and fit, making my life better... and at the end of this I'm finding the woman of my dreams and living the life I deserve. When we had "the divorce" talk I thought I could win her back. I started improving myself to prove to her that I was going to be a better man. Then I found out she wanted a d…
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/20 09:29 PM
11

Listen man, I don't mean to sound like an asshole. But I think you need this. ​ You are in charge of you. Is this what you want? Do you want to mourn the death of your marriage forever? Your wife is a piece of shit. Seriously. She cut you off from your kids. FUCK THAT. What a piece of trash. You can't control the fact that your wife lost her god damn mind. Now here's the part you can control. You are in charge of what comes next. You run your own business? Run it better. Are you taking care of y…
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/20 04:26 PM
2

wish I would have... I'm tired of not being on speaking terms with my ex. Just because she's shitty to me doesn't mean I have to be shitty back.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/20 10:44 PM
4

When I was having a hard time getting over the girl... "Try to figure out if you are still in love with her, or are in love with the idea of being in love." Not with my wife, but with my first REAL girlfriend. It really put a lot in perspective for me. I realized that I just loved the idea of being with someone...
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/20 10:42 PM
5

The "throw her off" comment may seem angry or extreme... but it's good advice. Don't dwell, don't let your mind look back. Hit the gym. Get fit. Find old hobbies. Create new hobbies. Find someone new. Reconnect with old friends. Just be the best you you can be. You owe it to yourself. You ate in charge of you. You can't make her who you want her to be or who she once was. All you can do is make yourself better (or worse) and you get to make that decision.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/20 07:02 PM
4

fuck you :)
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/20 08:39 PM
1

oh yah... made it easy to let go of her, though. Now I'm just over it and over her. Really want all of her shit out of my house immediately.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/20 08:38 PM
5

I said "when do you think you should introduce them to a new person?!" and she said "I don't know? I have no idea" When do YOU think?" and my response was "NOT BEFORE WE TELL THEM THAT WE'RE SPLITTING UP FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!"
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/20 08:18 PM
3

yup... they met him as her "friend" two weeks before Xmas (and multiple times after that) and we told them about the divorce January 11th.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/20 08:16 PM
1

thanks for the kind words. I do my best!!!
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/20 07:15 PM
1

she's eight and in third grade.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/20 03:50 PM
17

Lawyer up, hit the gym, lawyer up, delete facebook, lawyer up. ​ If this is all about money for her, then it should be all about money for you too. Sorry you're going through this.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/20 04:32 PM
2

yup, that's how it's been over here. on my days with the kids we have a routine. on her days they eat out, go do fun things... and nobody gets their homework done.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/20 03:42 PM
2

yup, she's simply jealous that your daughter will have fond memories of grandma's house before and after school when she grows up. did I miss something? why is your daughter not on you address if she's with you the majority of the time and you claim her on your taxes?
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/20 03:37 PM
1

What is her reasoning for having her go to a different school system? It seems to me that your plan is MUCH better. But I'm wondering why she thinks her idea would work.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/20 02:54 PM
3

This was my life. Sex is important. We're 3 months into the divorce process and I met someone great who actually wants to have sex with me. I've had more (and better) sex in the last two weeks than I had in the last two years.. no guarantee on that, but you already know what you're guaranteed at home right now.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/20 07:22 AM
4

I still struggle with finding myself thinking to ask her permission on things or expecting to be criticized Just yesterday my mom asked me what time me and the kids wanted to stop by on Saturday and I found myself defaulting to my non-existent wife. I was then thinking "oh shit, I can just pick a time!" Such a weird moment.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/20 11:25 PM
13

When I realized that I had considered divorcing HER multiple times but was too chicken to do it so I just stopped trying.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/20 09:57 PM
2

Sounds like you hit the jackpot. I think I'm in that same process at the moment. My new relationship seems to be the polar opposite of my marriage. A person I have things in common with who actually likes being around me... crazy.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/20 02:53 PM
1

what is this parenting app you speak of? we started our child schedule two days ago, that sounds like that could be helpful.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/20 02:45 PM
1

Yah, she sounds like a moron. Hit the gym, and then go find yourself a nice woman that loves and respects you.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/20 01:48 AM
2

Oh that's a great idea. I am definitely fishing this summer.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/20 01:46 AM
1

Yah, she absolutely wouldn't take the lead on this conversation... even though it was entirely her refusal to work on our marriage that prompted the divorce (I asked for counselling, etc... turns out she had another man waiting for her). Very frustrating.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/20 02:57 PM
1

We're using a mediator and her guilt has her giving me practically everything.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/20 11:18 PM
1

Hell yes. Good for you too. I'm nearing 40 and lighter than I've been in nearly 20 years.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/20 06:47 PM
5

cheers, thanks. I hear what you're saying.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/20 05:35 PM
4

It could be. I'm not denying that. My therapist said that as long as I wasn't dating someone to hurt or get back at my ex, then I might be okay. I'm definitely not doing that. In all honesty, I was in a marriage with someone who I didn't have anything in common with and didn't have any mutual interests with... so meeting someone with a lot of shared interests is kind of mindblowing.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/20 05:27 PM
7

I've been eating/ drinking lots of protein shakes, salads, and fruits and vegetables. At first I wasn't eating a lot... but it turned into eating the right things. Now I work out because I get to reward myself with a whey protein shake afterwards. I reward myself with a damn protein shake. Who the hell am I?
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/20 03:18 PM
1

Well, unless she's 4 months along I would feel pretty safe that these medical bills aren't mine. 😂
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/20 01:00 PM
1

Solid advice.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/20 12:47 AM
1

oh yah, that would be interesting... for her.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/20 10:29 PM
1

Well, she is the mother of our kids... and we do still live together at the moment. As much as I don't want to be with her, I want her to be able to depend on me if she needs to. But yes, for the most part you're right.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/20 10:11 PM
1

good call. hopefully we get a chance to talk tonight.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/20 08:52 PM
3

yah, my wife started locking the door to the bedroom when she was changing... I'm like, you know I've seen all of that before, right?
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/20 04:21 PM
3

holy shit, I lived in a sexless marriage for YEARS. We filed 2 months ago. I feel so fucking liberated. I'm dating again, and I'm seeing someone who makes me feel WANTED. It's a night and day situation for me and I don't know why I waited so long to get out.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/20 04:19 PM
10

I like going to concerts. watching indie movies, listening to new music, going out with friends, trying new restaurants, following politics and internet culture. She likes sitting on the couch watching Greys Anatomy reruns. When we were in our twenties it wasn't like this. We like different things, we want different things. We grew apart.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/20 09:15 PM
2

As someone in SE Wisconsin going through the same thing, have you thought about buying instead? $1500 a month is more than enough for a mortgage on a three bedroom home.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/20 01:11 AM
6

I had the same reaction a few weeks ago when I learned something similar. You're not alone. It hurts, I get it... but give it a little time. I've been taking melatonin to help me sleep, it's helped.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/20 03:05 PM
3

Yah, the issue being that we want to keep our kids in the same school. I hear you though, I'd love to downsize.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/19 10:49 PM
2

That's just it, in theory I'm getting a better share of the stuff (by about 40k) but an extra $300 a month would make the mortgage so much more affordable.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/19 07:22 PM
11

In my marriage it meant "I'm in love with someone else".
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/19 02:32 PM
1

That doesn't smell like a bouquet.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/19 01:14 PM
7

Use her loofah to wash your butt.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/19 09:42 PM
1

My soon-to-be ex-wife is dating a cop who killed someone by shooting him in the back. It was ruled "not justified" but he got off because... well, you know. Between that and his multiple sexual harassment accusations, he's a total scumbag. You're not alone.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/19 07:03 PM
2

You are so right. I have things going in a positive direction and I really need to focus on that part. I can just ignore her until she's gone for good. The kids miss her though.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/19 03:26 AM
1

Yah, I'm just trying to move on now.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/19 11:59 PM
1

You're right in that I need to stop wasting energy. Now that xmas is over we won't have to pretend anymore. Thank you for putting it in perspective. As for the new woman being a rebound? I'm being cautious because I seriously hope not. She's everything I want in a partner. It's still very early, but I'm optimistic about this... she knows my situation and she doesn't want to be a rebound. We've kinda had that talk and have been hesitant about our feelings, but it's obvious that we're extremely co…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/19 05:41 PM
1

Oh yah... didn't help that I've lost 20lbs and don't eat a lot anymore. Alcohol caught up to me quickly last night.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/19 04:36 PM
2

Well yah, that's obvious now.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/19 04:04 PM
2

Cheers to you! Merry Christmas to all of you! My wife made the second biggest mistake of our relationship by leaving me. I made the first biggest mistake by saying "I do" in the first place. Let's all have a great day. Chins up fellas, there's a whole world out there ready to explore.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/19 04:21 PM
1

Yah it would.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/19 09:44 PM
2

You legitimately sound like me. She hasn't even opened the xmas cards from her old bridesmaids and college roommates. They just sit there on the counter. She hasn't reached out to old friends in years.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/19 05:12 PM
7

Within two weeks of our divorce process starting she was already telling another man that she was ready to have a baby with him. She was always the rational one out of the two of us. What. The. Fuck.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/19 04:54 PM
7

You're telling me. It really is something. Who the hell is this woman staring at me with no emotion? What happened to the woman I married?
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/19 01:00 PM
3

Your life doesn't suck, your WIFE sucks. Seriously, nobody needs that toxic shit in their life. You will be better without her. Get out. Run.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/19 03:50 PM
2

honestly, I just think she's depressed. She was depressed when she was with me, she was hoping that leaving me would make her less depressed and it hasn't happened.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/19 03:33 PM
2

this this this. Sorry man, your marriage is over. It's okay though. You have had a level head through it all. You will rebound, bounce back, recover... whatever you want to call it. Your life will be great. Just don't let her consume all of your energy. Use your energy for more positive steps. Join a gym. Pick up an old hobby. Go back to being the person you wanted to be before marriage took over. JOIN A GYM. Picking up women is easier after you lose 20 lbs. Trust me.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/19 03:08 PM
3

It's already happening over here. We're less than two months in and she is terribly depressed. Trying to date someone from work... but I can tell that she doesn't seem very excited about it... and the less it upsets me, the more upset with me she gets. Meanwhile, I'm doing alright and I'm looking forward to putting space between us.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/19 08:31 PM
1

Divorce started a week before Thanksgiving. Got a gym membership on black Friday and I'm literally down 20lbs as of this morning. I've cut so many calories out of my diet. Protein shake for breakfast. Veggie wrap in a protein tortilla for lunch. Half of what I used to eat for dinner. A protein shake after my workout (an hour on an elliptical and 10-20 minutes rowing) and bed. I feel better than I have in a very long time.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/19 08:09 PM
2

Yup, my experience as well. Grass is always greener, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/19 08:03 PM
1

He just added that first line.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/19 07:50 PM
1

Well yah, nothing in his post suggests that she wants a divorce
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/19 05:12 PM
2

If you want to save your marriage (and stay sane at the same time) consider marriage counseling. It could help you both. If she's open to it, that's a good start. If not, maybe explain how you feel to her. If your relationship is solid enough that you can explain your feelings to each other (mine wasn't) than you've got a good place to start... start with each other.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/19 03:55 PM
1

thanks for this. I will.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/19 09:13 PM
2

all good, I appreciate the honesty.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/19 06:08 PM
3

that's good advice. I appreciate it. if you follow my posts over the last few days you'd see that I've been through a roller coaster recently so I could certainly take some cues from your response. With all that being said, I've been alone for awhile. Alone and too scared to call it off with the ex-wife who gave me no intimacy in the bedroom or elsewhere. I am certainly taking what you said to heart though. I do still need time to heal (doesn't everybody?)
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/19 05:29 PM
1

yah, but I said it all wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/19 04:19 PM
1

I didn't mean getting back together. Sounds like that ship has sailed (probably for the better for you). I meant making progress on what went wrong and becoming okay with it. It sounds like you're making progress with yourself. Just fight everyday to make progress. Eat healthy. Smile. Say good morning to people. Just live.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/19 03:50 PM
1

Hey man, good on you to put your feelings into words. There are a lot of reasons that people split up and it sounds like you're making progress on your situation. Just know that things will get better. You will find yourself, then you will find someone who is looking for someone just. like. you.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/19 03:17 PM
1

I'll be in that boat next year. we're still pretending right now. I'm not sure if that makes it better or worse. hang in there. you're worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/19 08:35 PM
2

My only hope is that I'm not treating her like a rebound. She seems like more of my type than even my ex-wife ever was. More attracted to her, have more in common... but I'm sure I'm rushing into this way too quickly. Hopefully I can handle this and get out of my own head. When I talk to her I'm certainly never thinking about the ex. She's really something.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/19 05:59 PM
2

Thanks, I've been trying to respect her (since we still live in the same house) but the incident convinced me to ask out this adorable young woman I've been friendly with lately. We're going out tomorrow.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/19 03:40 AM
2

Yah... it's alright. Now I know where I stand, and that this isn't a divorce based on mutual respect. Now I mean business.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/19 01:44 AM
1

That was two days ago... so no. :)
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/19 12:06 AM
2

Mine introduced him to the kids 4 weeks after we decided to get divorced. I didn't even know he existed.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/19 09:54 PM
2

10 years and two kids. It sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/19 04:00 PM
2

Oh, I know... it was just a hunch. Now I know why she really left me. It wasn't a control thing. It's just that I didn't want to be right.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/19 12:09 PM
1

thanks! I even told her that. I said, all this stuff I'm doing now, it's not for you. It's for me. This has nothing to do with you anymore. I'm making myself the best person I can be because at the end of this I'm the one that will still live with me.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/19 05:46 PM
1

I don't think so. Everybody knows me as the happiest person they know... and all this situation has done is made me improve myself (I've hit the gym 4 of the last 5 days... hell, I joined a gym). I've been doing more work at our house. I've actually been putting the laundry away instead of folding it and leaving it in the basket... I've been making the bed (even on the days I sleep on the couch). Basically, I am happy and fun all the time, now I'm just improving my short comings. I just weighed …
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/19 04:54 PM
1

Thanks, I am such a positive person so I'm taking all of this so much better than people think I should be. It's really strange, when I tell people they think I'm joking because I'm not very sad about it anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/19 04:19 PM
3

we're working with a mediator together. it still might get ugly, but we both don't want that to happen.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/19 02:55 PM
3

You're telling me... she says we don't go out enough. She says we don't have enough special moments together. We have young kids, we love them, we spend as much time as we can with them. I said "ok, lets go on more dates!" and she said that it's too late. It's annoying, our future was secure, our retirement was planned out. When we're in public we're the best couple in the room. People like us, we're fun. Honestly, I was completely happy with what we had (if not in need of a little intimacy that…
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/19 02:46 PM
2

If it was me I would subtly introduce the idea of wanting to keep the kids in the same house and concern of not being able to afford the house on your salary only. we're definitely there. We need to refinance the loan and see what it looks like. the house is our only debt so it might not be too bad. We both agree that the house needs to stay with us to have any sort of normalcy and the idea is that since she is going to be making more money, she'll have a better chance at affording somewhere els…
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/19 04:10 PM
3

She's actually being really good about the financial situations. As a couple we've been putting $200 into each kids bank account every month (for college) and she's going to continue doing that. She's going to keep them on her health insurance (she has great insurance). But yes, in the perfect world $500 monthly would be about the correct amount of spousal support. I'd be happy with $300, that would help me out immensely... I just worry that if I start going that route things might get ugly betw…
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/19 03:54 PM
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