~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2 | Expectations from partner through a rough time?Yeah - not easy to do but I’m prepared for it. Do you think it’s worth it to consider that we seem to work better in person versus when we are doing long distance? | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/07/25 03:37 PM |
| 2 | Expectations from partner through a rough time?Thank you for your honest feedback. In this case I already have my answer. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/07/25 01:47 PM |
| 2 | Expectations from partner through a rough time?Would you mind taking a look at my post if you’ve got the time? I’m reading your comments and feel like they’re spot on for my situation. Our issues only resurfaced during this time where we have been long distance and under major stressors that prevent us from having relaxed time with another. I agree on how dating is supposed to be the easiest period, and I vetted thoroughly in the early stages, but it’s been 3.5 years and these problems have only surfaced now. I’m new to “re-evaluation” as yo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/07/25 01:24 AM |
| 2 | Expectations from partner through a rough time?OP’s situation sounds relatively similar to mine. The question you brought up in the second paragraph are really good questions. My question is how do you decide when to re-evaluate and when to work on it? I mean, my longest relationship has only been 3.5 years and if this is going to last an entire lifetime, evaluation checkpoints like this are going to be common, no? We can’t be crumbling at every major life struggle as similar to OP’s situation. What I’m learning is that a) I’m changing a lit… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/07/25 12:18 AM |
| 3 | My husband said he "lowered his standards" dating meHonestly this would bother me a lot too, and no one else here knows about the other aspects of your dynamic besides you enough to give accurate advice over a fleeting comment. It bothers me specifically because of the superiority and willingness to humiliate in front of someone else. Unless he was joking, but even so it’s distasteful. I feel like such a comment is obviously knowingly hurtful. I’d probe further if I was prepared for and could take the worst answer, to see if there are any underly… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/10/23 11:55 PM |
| 1 | Experienced RPW but need help with saving my LTR.Yeah I had that list from when I started vetting. But people change and I change overtime. My partner’s changed. Or grown. Or let go in some respects. Or it’s not consistent. And I’m trying to decide tradeoffs while in flux. Thought I had “vetting” down pat but sustaining a LTR is a whole different ballgame altogether, and probably marriage will be even more difficult. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/09/23 10:18 PM |
| 2 | How do you quell an adversarial view on men?I think it’s forewarned in a stickied thread here not to go into men’s spaces to see how they “think and act” because redpill for men is different from RPW. Redpilled men are RPW’s target. Of course I don’t know you personally from sparse text, but reading those threads is different from swallowing the pill when it comes to fundamental differences in what both sexes want. The limiting media advice still stands. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/09/23 02:04 AM |
| 2 | How do you quell an adversarial view on men?Of course accountability should be taken as having power over your own reactions. That much is a given and not part of the discussion. To even vet in the first place you need to have interactions and exposure to men. I’m not talking about picking the wrong partner or date, but experiences before that. This has to do with luck, and perhaps slightly “controllable” factors such as social circles, your looks that influences first impressions, the type of city you live in. You can do everything corre… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/09/23 01:41 AM |
| 1 | Experienced RPW but need help with saving my LTR.Just as an update, I took a mix of suggestions on here and we’ve stopped fighting and are good. We will have another vacation soon with a ban on work, and he will try being more romantic. If you have a bit of time though, I still value your answers and analysis since I do want healthy regular intimacy for the long run, and a healthy relationship in general. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/23 09:02 PM |
| 2 | How do you quell an adversarial view on men?Definitely agree. I was coming from a place where I remembered my own experiences in a bad time and was trying to break out of the same loop OP is describing. It’s not easy to do after a string of negative experiences, even if self-aware. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/23 08:44 PM |
| 9 | How do you quell an adversarial view on men?Well it’s not easy to stop hating men if you continuously have disappointing experiences. That’s something you can’t control though. What you can control is the media you consume and the friends you’re surrounded by. I found great comfort in developing close friendships with feminine women who were in relationships or had healthy ideas about men — even with their fathers or brothers. I find the most jaded women are those who have not been in a LTR / were scorned and they’re usually the most voca… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/23 11:54 AM |
| 1 | Experienced RPW but need help with saving my LTR.No forgiveness needed. I very much appreciate your detailed analysis, especially the part where I can’t see the emotional roots under all the desire make logical decisions. This is why I find comfort in RPW as a framework. And your observations are quite astute and I get what you’re saying. To answer your question directly: being INTJ I went to get proper help to recover and worked on myself really intensely before dating again, but of course things are never the same — in the same way people wo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/09/23 11:34 AM |
| 3 | Experienced RPW but need help with saving my LTR.Yes, exactly, I’m worried about that too and there’s so much on my mind. Our relationship has been going great, and I’m nervous sex will change things if it doesn’t go great. I’m not a virgin so this is irrational and stupid. Once we have sex, our dynamic will change for sure. I’m finally happy and it didn’t come easily. I should have more confidence in myself but two of my past relationships I’ve found out that the guy was cheating after I’ve had sex with him, so yes this should be simple but w… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/09/23 03:31 AM |
| 3 | Experienced RPW but need help with saving my LTR.Two months ago we both took some time off work to spend our annual leave together, rented an Airbnb and shared the same bed. Naturally the topic was on our minds even before the trip way before so we talked, and I told him explicitly I wasn’t bothered by it because I was comfortable with him and ready. So I knew there were some expectations on his end for that week and also from myself. That week was not great due to many factors as speculated in my post, but me pulling back had a kneejerk react… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/09/23 02:53 AM |
| 2 | Experienced RPW but need help with saving my LTR.I’m commenting because your perspective seems insightful and in case you give more accurate advice. To clarify I’m not making him wait the traditional way women usually do. We both preferred slower / he never pressured me until we both got emotionally close, then we progressively did sexual stuff just not sex per se. We reached a point where we were ready and talked about it - I initiated the talk. When it came down to the few days where it was supposed to happen, I couldn’t see it through for a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/09/23 10:52 PM |
| 0 | Experienced RPW but need help with saving my LTR.Those are thought provoking questions, but no, because if he’s manipulated by me in that way I would lose respect for him. I think I’m just not feeling safe because I want sex to be more romantic, plus stress. I’m not withholding it for any other reason. Thanks for the questions. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/09/23 09:43 PM |
| 2 | Experienced RPW but need help with saving my LTR.This is funny because it actually makes a lot of sense. I wrote in another comment that I felt that the relationship lacks sexiness, maybe that’s synonymous with the feelings of excitement and mystery. I get it now that men don’t need romance to be in the mood. However it’s such a foreign concept for me to internalize, still. He’s very blunt about seeing all the “romance scenarios” as me being ridiculous, and that in itself ruins the fantasy, if that makes sense. Can you clarify what you mean by… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/09/23 09:36 PM |
| 2 | Being cheated on - how do I go on w this heartbreakBig hugs to you. During the initial weeks when my anger and betrayal were still fresh, what I did was run on the thread mill for 1 hour each day to release endorphins. I don’t know if it works the same way for everyone, but within 2 weeks, my anger was vented out and I felt better. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/09/23 09:27 PM |
| 2 | Experienced RPW but need help with saving my LTR.I appreciate the candor, because I’m at a lost of how to move forward from here despite being self-aware of what you’re trying to point out. My honest answer (that I know some RPM disagree with) is while I waited a few months to half a year in past relationships, I only caved in out of fear. I grew up conservative with my head in the clouds on notions of romance. This is the first guy I actually love and want sex with. He’s also more conservative (I didn’t ask him to wait or hold back sex), and … | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/09/23 09:20 PM |
| 2 | Experienced RPW but need help with saving my LTR.Thanks for your thoughtful reply, and yes the original responder clarified it wasn’t sarcasm. I’m not a virgin and I usually go slower than most people when it comes to sex in relationships (although not so long). He also wanted to wait and didn’t pressure me before. This vicious cycle only happened recently because we both were getting more emotionally intimate, I thought I was ready but I was just too tired and stressed out physically, coupled with a fear of abandonment. My rejection caused hi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/09/23 08:51 PM |
| 2 | Experienced RPW but need help with saving my LTR.To add on, my libido died a little after past cheating incidents, so that’s why I haven’t been in a rush too and it’s been a while. On principle though, I disagree with sex after marriage. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/09/23 08:24 PM |
| -2 | Experienced RPW but need help with saving my LTR.Ah apologies for misunderstanding. Because I love him and feel / felt safe with him. I don’t really agree with the whole sex after marriage thing, it feels like holding something hostage and sex is the next stage of intimacy. While I don’t need to wait till marriage, I don’t see the rush either since we have waited this long. I guess as a man, he’s just worried because of whatever crap he has read. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/09/23 08:23 PM |
| 2 | Experienced RPW but need help with saving my LTR.I get this is sarcasm but like I said our pace is slower. We’ve obviously done other stuff in the interim, both of us reached a point where we felt like we were ready, yes I backed out when it came down to it. I’m under a lot of stress, am trying to fix it, but I need help on how to communicate with my partner in the meantime. Right now I sound like a walking cliche when it comes to excuses women give to reject sex, but really I’m just going through a lot of life circumstances. The pressure isn’… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/09/23 08:12 PM |
| 7 | Being cheated on - how do I go on w this heartbreakI have some posts from back when I was freshly cheated on, one of them has comforting comments from men and women both who shared their cheating experiences. Now of course I’m barely affected by it, but the biggest thing that helped me is deleting everything — even out of my mind or in my speech, like a magic eraser because they were no longer worth my time. I also poured a lot of effort into working on myself, and ironically RPW helped me understand my worth as a partner. I know it hurts now, h… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/09/23 07:43 PM |
| 2 | Cannot find most guy attractive due to hypergamy, my father and my secluded lifestyle.No need to feel shy. People do it all the time with their friends matchmaking them. If I were single right now and looking, the first thing I’d do is go to my cousins who have been happily married for years and are seemingly well connected for introductions. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/05/23 08:34 PM |
| 4 | Cannot find most guy attractive due to hypergamy, my father and my secluded lifestyle.An idea - why not ask your father or uncle / aunts to introduce you? They would likely know someone of matching calibre, and although they shouldn’t be the ones to vet character, usually such introductions have consequences if say, the guy is a jerk and treats you badly. Also if you ask to be introduced, make sure you ask someone who is happily married / in a relationship, and bide your time to get to know the person well. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/05/23 05:34 PM |
| 10 | Cannot find most guy attractive due to hypergamy, my father and my secluded lifestyle.Figure out what specifically you like about someone which makes them strong and powerful in your eyes. Is it financially ability? Being revered and respected by others? Being competent in their job? Or is it high status? Men with power come with their own quirks. I personally don’t like dating men with power as I’m ambitious myself and they tend to prefer subservient women. Personally I believe attraction and respect is something that can be worked on within yourself, as long as there is a bit o… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/05/23 06:38 AM |
| 2 | Difference in moral values in a LTRAgree on the last paragraph that you only get to know someone once you see them exposed to difficult situations. As this is my third LTR I’ve come to recognize it can be quite tough to vet everything upfront. There are no guarantees and this being the start of our third year together, there may be “unsavoury” traits that pop up and i need to decide if it’s a dealbreaker — that’s where I’m at right now. I find this an interesting list (my personal one from when I started dating again was similar … | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/05/23 06:29 AM |
| 1 | Difference in moral values in a LTRVery astute observation and you’re right, it is the root issue. As a disclaimer, I’m a very ambitious career driven person myself (which can be unusual for a RPW, I know) but over the years I’ve found ways to apply the ideas / system to suit my situation. For me I do not require ambition in terms of climbing the corporate ladder and actually I prefer being the more ambitious partner in a relationship. But your comment helped me realize that my base expectations are still that he sustains a decen… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/05/23 06:13 AM |
| 2 | Anyone have a shorter husband/boyfriend? How can I feel more feminine?Lol I’m so jealous because I’m short and can’t do this | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/06/22 05:37 PM |
| 13 | Dear Men - RPW is the women's subThanks for posting this pearl, have been seeing so many entitled male comments lately. This is a feminine space and completely agree if I wanted advice on commitment, I’d be taking it from happily married / LTR’ed / experienced women or men. In that order. Ignore the nasty comments. | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/05/22 03:49 PM |
| 18 | Dear Men - RPW is the women's subI second this. I have nothing against feminists - after all we have RPWs who are feminists and who make the two work for themselves… but the comments that instantly jump to break up as a solution for most LTR situations need to go. | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/05/22 03:43 PM |
| 1 | my boyfriend likes seductive posts and i hate it…“Severely cheated in the past and mistreated.” If my past has taught me anything, it is that I gravitated unconsciously to guys of the same demeanour. Like you, certain guys would trigger me to dig deep and analyse every action. But the key word here is certain, because I didn’t feel the need to when I met my current partner. In a healthy relationship, asking for more safety is not being controlling. If he truly likes you, he will grant you that safety if he knew it was hurting you. Question is,… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/05/22 12:09 AM |
| 5 | Feeling like boyfriend isn't serious about meI experienced this with my ex and for a time, believed I was childish for wanting to be posted on social media, since he was active on there. I’m my head, I made a lot of excuses for him and was also told by my friends that I am overthinking it. I ended up finding out that he was seeing multiple women. He had such a good cover, because one or two of his friends knew about me, so I thought that he was all in. I’ve also had an ex who didn’t post pictures of me, but whom I felt safe enough to not q… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/05/22 12:00 AM |
| 2 | BF has been texting a office colleague a lot and following exes on instaI can see why you’d be in a dilemma since you’ve spent a long time in this relationship, and this has suddenly happened. But like others have said, this is blatant disrespect and your boyfriend isn’t setting boundaries. That you have to ask him to set boundaries and police him, it’s a really bad sign. I usually disagree with most advice that involves instant breakup, especially one where you have committed for so long. But I can’t see how this situation can be salvaged if your boyfriend is clear… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/05/22 11:48 PM |
| 1 | I think I misunderstood what RPW means (not hating just confused)Perhaps they’ve become more lax. Did not say that it requires being married to participate, but I’ve been asked to add a flair when I post. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/05/22 07:13 PM |
| 3 | I think I misunderstood what RPW means (not hating just confused)Red pill wives requires flairing relationship experience / status and there are more married women there. This is still a much more active sub here, but if I’m going to take long term serious relationship advice moving towards marriage, I’d value the advice of those who are married much more. At the end of the day we all hope to be wives | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/05/22 04:48 AM |
| 1 | Struggling with initiating sex in long-term relationship.You can express that you’ll feel emotionally safer if he were to do X Y or Z, which makes it easier for you to feel more attracted to him. Be encouraging when he finally does X Y or Z and follow through to show that his efforts matter. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/05/22 11:09 PM |
| 14 | I think I misunderstood what RPW means (not hating just confused)I only just recently returned to this sub after a year, so not sure if it’s still moderated the same way. A lot of commentators to RPW are new and don’t fully grasp the concepts. To be fair, it took me more than 2 years, reading nearly all threads on this sub and books, then comparing with my experiences to understand it. Definitely the things you’ve listed are not really encouraged but then it’s a general list, sometimes there if there is context this would not apply. Those who are more seasone… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/05/22 10:47 PM |
| 4 | Much Older MenI’ve been in a LTR with more than a decade age gap, with 5+ years gap and someone closer to my age. If you’re specifically asking from a RP perspective I would say the life stage you’re in is more important than age. Not being in similar life stages (eg you’re a student and he’s a career man) could mean a big power gap. And I’m talking about a power gap that is toxic, makes it difficult to leave or be manipulated. At the end of the day, you vet a man for Captain qualities and mindset, not age. B… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/05/22 10:31 PM |
| 2 | Need advice: Send a closure text after being ghosted?I think you’re trying to rationalise and control an irrational situation, while on the flipside his actions have no meaning to it other than he doesn’t give a damn. I know because in my early 20s I was played multiple times. As women we tend to like to take the high road, show we are good people and reflect on our actions. And if you were anything like younger me, you would have hoped to be acknowledged for it, that he will come around and realise how good you are. Your blind spot is not realisi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/05/22 08:33 PM |
| 1 | Getting more attached to my partner and feeling out of controlHis closest friend doesn’t like me over a misunderstanding I wasn’t aware of and made disparaging remarks in private to him, along with another seemingly malicious action. I only know because he told me. My bf didn’t want to get involved initially in what he saw was between his friend and me (but i didn’t know he had issues with me since all the comments were made in private to my bf, so I couldn’t act). I have since worked it out with the bf and he agreed he should have stuck up for me.n | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/05/22 06:52 PM |
| 1 | Getting more attached to my partner and feeling out of control⭐️ | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/05/22 01:29 AM |
| 1 | Getting more attached to my partner and feeling out of controlYeah agree. He’s strong willed so he’s not going to listen to his friend, and I doubt I would ever have to (or want to) beg him to stay as I also have a level of self respect. It just doesn’t feel good to have his close friend not like me. But it’s not like I can fix that and that sucks. I just hope my bf realises eventually like your husband did. The more I talk about it, the more stubborn he seems to get. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/05/22 01:01 AM |
| 2 | Getting more attached to my partner and feeling out of controlGlad to know I’m not alone. Hope you find another love like that! | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/05/22 12:06 AM |
| 1 | Getting more attached to my partner and feeling out of controlThanks for your perspective. To me, him sharing is being honest with me — I know he really values that we can share a lot of things. But you’re right in observing that him sharing those texts would definitely affect me. I guess this is good advice because I’d rather not know unless he’s egging him on to break up with me, which is a fear. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/05/22 12:03 AM |
| 3 | Getting more attached to my partner and feeling out of controlHi, I replied you in Reddit message if that’s ok with you. I wanted to answer the question and get a second opinion, but didn’t want to share specific details publicly! | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/05/22 12:00 AM |
| 5 | Getting more attached to my partner and feeling out of controlYeah he didn’t like me so I relate to what you are saying. I tried not to come between them but it is difficult when his friend misunderstands me, and makes disparaging remarks about me to my partner in private. I know about it because he shows me as we don’t hide these things from one another. I had a sense this person did not want the best for him / care about his happiness from his actions, but my partner insists that they have a history I do not understand. Therefore I do not know how to dea… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/05/22 11:35 PM |
| 3 | Getting more attached to my partner and feeling out of controlThanks. I love the analogy you’ve given with the Tree of Life. Yeah he definitely thinks I’m sensitive as well and can’t understand my perspective, that he and his friend has more logical perspectives. How would you go about bringing up the topic of softness with your boyfriend? | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/05/22 08:38 PM |
| 2 | Stress is affecting my relationshipI definitely see how I’m used to nun mode and am still adjusting to being in a relationship. I never used to make so much time for self care for myself and now am realising I will need it just to show up. I’m still learning how to switch off after work. Does it make sense to only give up other commitments if I’m engaged or married? Maybe it’s just me but considering having sacrificed commitments in past relationships just to get cheated on, it feels too early to be at that stage and there is a b… | /r/RedPillWives | 28/11/21 01:55 PM |
| 2 | Stress is affecting my relationshipThanks for sharing this and you’re on the money in that I’m worried about causing resentment if I put things on hold. Just is it better than meeting him while still a bundle of stress? We both check in on each other daily. Work / gaming dates with him can be a bit of a pain though as he likes to talk a lot. I’m definitely practicing the part on not lashing out. Do you have any tips on stress hygiene? | /r/RedPillWives | 28/11/21 01:41 PM |
| 1 | Advice for juggling ambitious desires and feminine desiresYeah I love and am good with them | /r/RedPillWives | 23/05/21 07:21 AM |
| 1 | Advice for juggling ambitious desires and feminine desiresIndeed I am intj. That being said, RPW is just a toolkit, not a lifestyle. You take what is applicable to you. For me posting this was to figure out how I could apply it, as RPW is in line with my feminine desires. | /r/RedPillWives | 18/05/21 02:14 PM |
| 2 | Advice for juggling ambitious desires and feminine desiresJust saw this. Your mom sounds amazing. Yeah I’m definitely NT, very high T. I understand RPW very well, but am realizing it does not really fit me. I’m roleplaying someone else, despite craving such a dynamic. | /r/RedPillWives | 06/05/21 09:15 AM |
| 1 | He is not going to marry me or have kids with me for deeply personal reasons and I have accepted it. However, he doesn't seem to like the idea that I might be making more than him in the futureYou’re not the first person to come to the sub with the issue that your boyfriend doesn’t want to marry you, but the first I’ve seen where the reason is that your boyfriend can’t get over his past. It seems quite unwise to commit yourself to someone with deep baggage, doesn’t want to work on it, and on top of that doesn’t want to commit to you. Despite receiving no concrete security whatsoever (words don’t count), you are considering giving him even more commitment with your career. This is prob… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/03/21 05:12 AM |
| 2 | I'm trying to improve myself and need some advice on achieving that.I have made big strides in all of these things since discovering RPW and am also highly ambitious (more masculine energy), something I realized is a core personality trait. My advantage was that I started out with high SMV, conservative values and decent RMV traits, but didn’t know how to present myself so I came across low value. I thought my career achievements were the coolest things to attract a man — and they did, just the wrong sort. I was also incredibly naive. My advice is you cannot ach… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/03/21 04:24 AM |
| 5 | I’ve slept with 13 men in my life time. I’m only 25. Whenever I think about it, I feel suicidal.It’s not the number as much as the realization you were taken advantage of, the sense of worthlessness and rage that follows. My count is 3, and it all started out believing they cared for me. For a while I was like you, in a hopeless rut full of rage. Maybe it took me 3 to learn, maybe it took you 13, for others they may take even more, who cares — none of us can change the past and every other girl has a similar sad story these days. Rumination will kill you and self pity is the most useless e… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/03/21 06:00 PM |
| 2 | Is MGTOW a problem for us and why men judge us all by the worst women they've met?They’re just the vocal majority, not the actual majority. Men who do right by women have no cause to speak up, because they aren’t SJWs where everything has to be under the limelight. Just like how RPWs or aligning don’t speak up, but the “men are trash” women do. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/03/21 10:57 AM |
| 2 | Got married at 22 thanks to RPW: a painfully honest sharingPretty sure Whisper or whoever says to fuck within reason. It’s not so black and white. If a man strong-arms me into sex with the threat that he will leave otherwise... do you see the irony? What makes you think a man like that would stay after sex, if he doesn’t see any other value? The encouragement of sex before commitment for women is equally as stupid as a woman trying to get force commitment after having sex. The general advice here is vet well and have sex with someone you’re passionate a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/03/21 10:46 AM |
| 5 | Got married at 22 thanks to RPW: a painfully honest sharingJust like women don’t understand men, men don’t understand women. Most women here call people out on their shit and dish out harsh advice just as TRP does to their own people, but you don’t get to do that here. Male perspective is welcome when you have actual insight from being happily married, not finding red flags where there are none. Please remember this sub prioritizes women’s goals of getting married to who they think is an amazing Captain, which is what OP is sharing here. That being said… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/03/21 10:27 AM |
| 1 | Is there RPW approach to this?What are your boundaries? You must know them clearly and prioritize them over a guy you barely know. Asserting your boundaries and needs is not forbidding him from anything. When you do this, you find out you’re either compatible, or no. You ask for the RPW way because you’re worried of coming across insecure or jealous, but you have to be honest with your own needs because if this blossoms into something more later, there is no re-negotiation. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/03/21 09:51 AM |
| 16 | Encouraging boyfriends masculinityYou can’t - you will still resent him afterwards knowing you manipulated him. Submission is about picking a good Captain but also adjusting your own mindset. Read Surrendered Wife by Laura Doyle, when you become more feminine, he will become more masculine, but you have no control over “how”. That being said, what you can’t adjust your mindset for is physical attraction. If you’re not attracted to him, leave. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/03/21 09:43 AM |
| 3 | Am I being way too understanding or can someone’s past be forgiven?I’m not condoning anything but I know someone who sold drugs back when it was illegal to pay for his house and to get married. He’s now working at a Big Five company and married to a nice woman whom I’m sure knows. It’s up to your comfort level, really, to take the gamble. Two dates is too early to know or verify anything, and you probably already know you are asking for a guarantee that is impossible to know now or maybe even in the near future. Perhaps you can just make it clear to him your da… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/03/21 05:27 AM |
| 22 | He sent me a picture of a girl on his bed at 1am.This sounds harsh but this is one of the most delusional posts I’ve read on the sub. You start out wanting a relationship with this guy. You “love and trust him” although you guys have only flirted. Next, he moves states. He doesn’t follow through on his promises. He communicates with disconcerting spite over an accident (you falling asleep) and doesn’t just tell you — which is bad enough — but shows you who he has sex with. If at this point, you cannot see that this man has 0 genuine intentions… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/02/21 03:56 PM |
| 3 | New to rpw..are these strategies good for attracting male red pills?Have you read the RPW Wiki? The recommended readings? What are your goals? It’s a long journey towards understanding red pill strategies for women and is much less manipulative than what people who first stumble on the sub expects. A lot of it is swallowing hard truths and focusing on genuine self-improvement in attitude and appearance. As for strategy, I believe everyone develops their own due to difference in age, religion, political alliances, careers, dating history and the like (e.g. a coll… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/02/21 04:52 AM |
| 9 | How to show respect/ admirationGenuine compliments. I work in a male dominated field which puts me in direct competition with men. It can be something as simple as your coworker coming up with a good idea; be liberal with compliments as long as it’s genuine. Vocalize your thoughts and see the upside in people that’s all. I would caution against overdoing it at work though, it can be powerful as men are rarely complimented. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/02/21 06:06 AM |
| 2 | Feeling confused doing OLD with a guy. Should I let him go? Need dating adviceI agree with the vetting; you could say the same for both genders in 2021. Before I found my Captain, what helped me was to look for someone who has high expectations for themselves and simple to moderate expectations of others (healthy boundaries). Most people expect too much while giving too little, and being tested by these people made me resent them. I know my submission was motivated by my partner’s propensity for giving without a covert contract, and since I was also focused on giving by d… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/02/21 05:44 AM |
| 2 | Feeling confused doing OLD with a guy. Should I let him go? Need dating adviceYeah this, OP. Although there is a difference between men who never want to commit and men who have options. I disagree that high value men/women do shit tests. Testing comes from a place of insecurity and from being unable to communicate in a mature manner. HVW resent being manipulated. A man who is hesitant to commit and is still playing games after a substantial amount of time is also a red flag. Even Cristiano Ronaldo commits when he finds someone he is into. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/02/21 08:20 AM |
| 5 | Incredibly insecure about his first loveHow would we know any more than you from this statement alone? You’re the one dating him. But you do sound crazy by asking the same question over and over repeatedly to everyone who can only speculate about what is going on in someone’s mind. No one can give you the 100% guarantee you require. In love and in trusting somebody there is always a risk. Even if you date someone who never said that, there’s always such a risk. Be an adult and embrace that there is always that risk. Unless there is ev… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/02/21 01:48 AM |
| 4 | Feeling confused doing OLD with a guy. Should I let him go? Need dating adviceThis is harsh but something I wish I had learnt earlier: no man who is into you is afraid of commitment. If he tells you he is, either he is trying to keep you on hook, preying on your nurturing instincts to get sex, or it’s the male version of “it’s not you it’s me” followed by slow fade. People take advantage of those who are nice and generous at heart. I was a doormat before until a female mentor advised me to not show my nice side until I’d gotten to know people a bit better and they underst… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/02/21 08:37 PM |
| 7 | Incredibly insecure about his first loveYou’re afraid of getting hurt again and that’s totally normal. But you need to take ownership for your own healing without putting the bulk of the work on him - by putting yourself in therapy. At this rate, you may actually push a good guy away. Start focusing on being a valuable partner to him and less on why you’re not valuable to be with. | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/02/21 05:47 PM |
| 88 | Incredibly insecure about his first loveWhy would you keep asking him the same question over and over for something he said a long time ago? Sounds like self sabotage and your insecurity may actually lead to him thinking you’re not that great after all. You’ve been with this guy for 2.5 years, either you decide to trust him at this point or leave him alone. He’s not responsible for your past trauma. Unless he has been rubbing it in your face about his ex, keeping in close contact with her, giving you any other cause to truly worry, th… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/02/21 11:57 AM |
| 5 | How can I get out of this selfish mindset?From what you’ve written alone, I genuinely wouldn’t consider this selfish or non-traditional. As much as most men may face day-to-day disrespect, women also face misogyny and male entitlement (i.e. “you should know how to cook and cook for me because you’re a woman”). While this may not have been what the male member of your family meant to imply, you may feel frustration because you could have faced such sentiments before. And if you find such inferences childish, then all you need to do is be… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/02/21 06:51 AM |
| 8 | Feeling confused doing OLD with a guy. Should I let him go? Need dating adviceHe’s not interested in you. Yes, some men need more time, but for a LDR exclusivity talks and being on the same page about commitment are moreso urgent. You need someone who is open with communication and has concrete plans to break the distance. From your post you’ve written, you’re not gushing over him for [insert qualities], so I doubt you like him. In fact it seems like the opposite. It reads more like you’re hurt from the rejection and haven’t dated enough guys to know whether you even want… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/02/21 06:19 AM |
| 7 | Anxious attachment, my man on a trip and how to respond in a feminine way.The point of sharing the story was not to say it’s the same situation, but rather to illustrate that this is a situation where in the end she has to trust her own judgement rather than strangers due to the lack of context on our side. Hence the many questions I asked. Knowing when to use vulnerable communication / feminine strategy is dependent on knowing the right situation to use it, and may backfire / seem like manipulation if used wrongly. Your concerns are valid in that my observations may … | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/02/21 06:24 PM |
| 1 | Asking for advice.Read or google the summary for The Six Pillars of Self Esteem. It’s not necessarily that you don’t have a core personality, rather you may have issues with self esteem that you try to fill with validation from male figures. The ability to be authentic requires being comfortable with yourself, so your focus should be on building self esteem. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/02/21 10:02 AM |
| 9 | Anxious attachment, my man on a trip and how to respond in a feminine way.I posted something similar two years ago when my ex went on a trip. He said he went alone - I found out later it was with a female friend whom he shared a bed with and they had sex. Most of the replies on that post told me I was being paranoid. I also thought I was being paranoid, because I used to have issues, so instead I tried to “respond in a feminine manner”. Turns out I should have listened to my gut. Obviously, your scenario may not be my scenario, but my point is using femininity and bei… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/02/21 09:50 AM |
| 2 | Feminine vs Masculine energyThis is also covered in The Way of the Superior Man. Apparently it has its roots in Jungnian theories... On a separate observation I would say my outer life is heavy on masculine energy. I fit near 100% of these descriptions. My relationships and family life though are more feminine energy. Sometimes it takes conscious effort to switch modes, like using a playlist. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/02/21 04:52 PM |
| 2 | How can I improve this situation?It’s never recommended to be in a relationship with someone with mental health issues unless they already have coping measures in place. Then your job would be to support, not to fix. You can’t fix him anyway. Right now it doesn’t seem like he has coping measures in place and his own illness is affecting you. Probably you could talk to him about how his illness is affecting you and that he needs to find a way to cope. Don’t suggest the solution, just bring him the problem. Reaffirm your love and… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/02/21 07:33 PM |
| 6 | Is it just me or is there a lot of feminist viewpoints in this sub?It took me 3ish years to have a decent understanding of RPW, its accompanying strategies, and then to see results in my own life. In general I think everyone who takes advice from the sub needs to exercise critical thinking, see who’s giving advice on what topics (e.g. if you’re a married woman asking for advice, obviously a happily married red pill woman’s comment would have more weightage). And read the sidebar. While advice from likeminded women and respected contributors matters, I feel that… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/02/21 07:17 PM |
| 3 | How to stop being competitive with other women and overall insecure?One trick you can try immediately is to take on a leadership position amongst women. For example join a sewing circle or something and help organize events. Volunteer regularly. Or even amongst woman friends, take the initiative to invite them out for activities. This is so you can practice looking out for others, include those who feel left out, and make everyone feel comfortable. You will like seeing yourself in such a position and this will be self-motivating. And you will know that you truly… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/02/21 09:43 AM |
| 0 | Am I crazy?Sparks from chemistry is different from tingles. By tingles I refer to shows of dominance people use to game. RP terms which is what this sub is about. No one is saying emotional attraction is not important, moreso that women come to RPW because reality is unlike feminist movies that shape our expectations. Expecting a guy to be amazing off the bat and in every step of the way is ridiculous. OP’s expectations insofar as her post are ridiculous and if she gets the “ick” response so easily over so… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/02/21 09:32 AM |
| 6 | Am I crazy?My point is OP is judging a guy she does not know based on one thing he said that does not give her the tingles. Of course in dating or in a relationship if a man lacks decisiveness or assertiveness he will not be attractive, but OP does not know that without even meeting him. These are not the things to be wary of on a dating app, or even a red flag. Some people are great at first impressions and make a woman feel good all the way but do not have traits that make them good LTR material. Some wh… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/02/21 03:07 AM |
| 4 | Am I crazy?OP has only known this guy for a few days. It’s fair for him to ask what she likes to do and not be expected to read her mind. There are also other ways to communicate to give him the OK in leading more instead of just concluding “bad leadership”. Entitlement like this is why TRP men game to give women the tingles, because women focus on tingles. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/02/21 12:54 AM |
| 33 | Vetting vs TestingSeems like everyone has different opinions. To me, vetting is silent observation over a period of time. This is because people can say whatever they like, but only by observing over a period of time will you truly know if their action and person matches their words. Testing is generally frowned upon in RPW context. The assumption is that HVM, just like women worth their salt know when they’re being tested, hence the term was coined “shit tests”. Shit tests happen as a result of insecurity, fear,… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/02/21 08:52 PM |
| 25 | Am I crazy?You sound like you equate shows of dominance to leadership ability, and you may run into a lot of trouble with picking wrong men because of this. Doesn’t a good leader take into consideration your wishes? Perhaps before dating you should read up on the sidebar on how to vet. Yes, you want a guy who gives you the tingles, but not because he’s a narcissistic dude who tells you straight up where and when to meet accommodating his own schedule. Another thing you could learn is to communicate. How is… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/02/21 08:45 PM |
| 1 | I just feel very drained by society and got lost in bad thoughts.I’m commenting here to tell you you aren’t alone, and my story is a little similar to yours. I came to the conclusion many moons ago that I needed to forgive my younger self, even though sometimes I still struggle. Then, you need to find it in yourself to have hope again, every time you fall into this spiral of how bad the system is / how you feel taken advantage of. Whatever you do, don’t become jaded. Because if you do, you lose. Get depressed for a bit, then muster the determination to see th… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/02/21 04:06 PM |
| 2 | How to relax and be more playful and silly around men, in a way they will like?You may want to give Ellen Hendriksen’s How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic a read. I’m no psychiatrist but not being able to relax is one of the symptoms of social anxiety, which is just really heightened self awareness to protect yourself. There are theories it has to do with how “fight or flight” has evolved, since there aren’t tigers in the wild to eat us today, other problems such as social situations pose the same level of threat. Without reading the book, I can tell you it’d take … | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/02/21 03:59 PM |
| 3 | Your thoughts on MGTOWAll of us have been hurt before by generalised male or female behaviour. But if you compare the RPW subs to MGTOW/TRP subs you can see the difference in how most females/males react to being hurt. This may be unpopular but I see MGTOW in particular as very fragile. I have been cheated on twice and been in some very bad situations, but you don’t see me hating on the male populace or becoming jaded. It’s an irrationally defensive position. Most RPW on here don’t wallow in self pity either and try … | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/01/21 07:54 PM |
| 19 | How do you deal with “possessive” female friends?To answer your question directly: I don’t. I only date men with the same values who don’t tolerate such behavior in opposite sex friends nor allow themselves to be orbiters/be orbited around. Having been “that girl in a primarily male friend group” in my younger years, there’s no such thing as a completely platonic male-female friendship. In modern terms, one person “friendzoned” the other. You either make sure you’re on the same page during the dating stage or in your case you can only observe … | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/01/21 08:55 AM |
| 7 | Receiving feels wrong.I normally don’t comment on this sub but seconding other comments to still be cautious at this stage. Perhaps it’s because I’ve been lovebombed before via grand expensive gestures that convinced me it’s genuine. It also became too much that I felt guilty and gravitated towards listening to him more. Of course he could be a really genuine guy, but you can’t tell until you first set firm boundaries/say no to something see how he deals with it. Or just let time play out. | /r/RedPillWives | 20/01/21 08:49 PM |
| 1 | Advice for the “forever girlfriend”?Very briefly, redpill as a concept acknowledges biological tendencies/needs when it comes to the relational needs of men and women. That’s where the similarities stop. RP men goals are to game to plate as many women as possible (although from what I understand there are subcategories of men who carry this game into relationships/marriage). Whereas RP women goals are to secure commitment from a high value male, typically by improving themselves out of desire to be a good partner, with focus on tr… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/01/21 07:10 AM |
| 5 | Why do I like old men so much?You have a “traditional mindset”, want to date a “traditional guy” and have a contradicting profession you’re aware of. You’re attracted to “old men from old money” - a symbol of power, worldliness, and the ultimate fantasy to save damsels in distress. Not that hard to figure out. Although this seems more like a daydream self pity kind of rant rather than wanting real change. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/01/21 02:31 AM |
| 8 | Any advice for women who have never dated before?Here is the RPW Wiki from the sidebar. There are recommended readings on there. I suggested Surrendered Single first because it’s the reading with the least context needed and you can immediately apply it for dating. There are many tips in the forum with far more qualified women (usually flaired) and TRP’s Founder also posts some insights on how men may think. My advice is to not overwhelm yourself with the information, because some RPW concepts will only become clearer with experience. Using th… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/01/21 10:17 AM |
| 8 | Any advice for women who have never dated before?RPW don’t go for TRP men. We have different goals. TRP men look out for TRP men, just like RPW look out for RPW. Women can’t and don’t advise TRP because they don’t have the same agenda, as you have pointed out. You contradict yourself because this is a subreddit in which women want marriage with commitment-minded men — you should not be here. It makes no sense to heed the advice of a man who is inexperienced in such matters and gives opinion according to his preference. This is not protecting w… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/01/21 08:37 AM |
| 10 | Any advice for women who have never dated before?I would like to flag this comment right here because I think it’s harmful for the females reading it. Male perspective should be respected on RPW when a man is happily married or in a healthy long term relationship or even an experienced TRP man who looks out for women, not by someone who does not trust women when they tell him their body count and calls them sluts. Placing so much value on virginity for a young woman is harmful for her self esteem. Ideally, a woman should wait till marriage, bu… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/01/21 05:13 AM |
| 36 | Any advice for women who have never dated before?I had my first LTR back when I was 19 and had the same mindset as you. Same for some of the posts I’ve seen here. The situation usually reads rather similar. First when you’re in a committed relationship, unless you and your partner are both hyper religious, your mindset is most likely to be swayed by your partner’s actions. If you want to wait till marriage, you have to pick a partner who wants that from the start and has the character to see it through. Usually this can only be found in religi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/01/21 04:35 AM |
| 5 | Advice for the “forever girlfriend”?You absolutely can’t get pregnant and he brings up multiple times he would absolutely want to be an amazing father if you do accidentally get pregnant? Sounds weird. I think it’s down to opinion. I would never commit myself to a jaded man who does not trust me. The state can’t do shit unless I don’t act in his interest, so really I believe men who don’t trust “the state” it’s an excuse for saying I don’t trust women and don’t want to commit 100%. On the other hand, you’re not going to have child… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/01/21 11:22 AM |
| 3 | Advice for the “forever girlfriend”?Red pilled women don’t go for red pilled men. Common misconception. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/01/21 11:09 AM |
| 2 | Does mental illness bring my RMV down?Support meaning in the event of a relapse, what are your expectations from them. Calmness and rationality in a partner definitely helped me in my younger days grappling with depression. Being coddled sometimes does make it worse. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/01/21 05:13 AM |
| 7 | Does mental illness bring my RMV down?It will be a dealbreaker for some people but I don’t think it goes into overall RMV. It’s the associated behaviour patterns that may bring it down, but you mention having a routine to have it under control and for the most part you present as normal. Mental illness is more of a gradual self-disclosure subject than something you are required to declare upfront. The severity is also different for everyone. As long as you aren’t being deliberately deceptive, a good time to reveal may be before comm… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/01/21 12:55 AM |
| 5 | Does anyone else find that the chances of getting into a relationship are astronomically low?I second what someone else said about how being desperate to find the one puts you in a position to be taken advantage of. I think the harmful assumption most girls are fed these days is that men are no longer interested in relationships and that commitment-minded is hard to find. This is not true and operating on this assumption is what leads to girls writing things like “No casual no cheaters no blah blah” on their profiles, as though this will deter men. It just screams issues. What do you ha… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/01/21 12:23 AM |
| 1 | Being in love with a red pilled manOof this is awkward. My apologies and all the best to you! | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/01/21 05:17 AM |
| 11 | How much effort do you put into your outfits when going on dates?I make an effort always to dress but suitable for the occasion. First date is always a form-fitting dress that’s not revealing but gives hints of my shape, light makeup, strappy heels. At the same time it’s not my killer dress-to-impress outfit. It pays to dress nice always because first impression counts as to who you are and how you expect to be treated. Obviously that guy walking in looking like he didn’t care and you looking like you did is going to feel awful. But you never know who is goin… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/01/21 08:59 AM |
| 0 | Being in love with a red pilled manIt wasn’t meant to be “motivational”. It’s widely understood here that as women age there’s a wall that they hit and SMV begins to decline. The best time to find a HVM is from mid 20s to early 30s. As OP grows older and wastes more time on this manchild, her availability pool shrinks. It’s not just about relationship-minded men, but also quality. Horror stories rampant at u/datingoverthirty OP will also need time to repair herself after 12 years of addiction. Entering the scene with no proper re… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/01/21 08:26 AM |
| 3 | Being in love with a red pilled manWell from all your replies you know exactly what is going on. You have come here because you want to be absolutely done with this horrible situation, and to be able to move on. That’s not easy because you’ve basically been addicted for 12 years. So what you need to do is treat this person like a drug addiction and quit him cold turkey. You say you cannot resist his charms, so block him on every means so he cannot reach you. Change your number if you must. Don’t let him know so he won’t try to pr… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/01/21 09:41 PM |
| 1 | How to look more womanly?Coming across as mature is also about confidence and how you carry yourself. Physically, curling your hair and dressing more “classic”/formal instead of youthful would help. Invest in quality accessories that are small/don’t dwarf your stature - learn to dress well. But to be honest if you have both youthful stature and features, unless you use an excessive amount of makeup to change your individual features, you will still look youthful on a whole. So as much as I’m sure you have heard this bef… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/01/21 09:25 PM |
| 1 | “Dead Zone” during holidays/weekendsOdd as in you’re either insecure or your commitment from him is not secure. Which should not be the case 1 year in for you to be playing games. You should further observe his behavior and not do mental gymnastics. Sometimes the greatest mistake a new RPW makes is believing it’s a fault on their end and starts rationalising what they want to see, ignoring clear signs. Being insecure once in a while is perfectly fine - in fact it may be your gut telling you some things your mind is ignoring. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/01/21 11:36 AM |
| 0 | Boyfriend Makes comments on other womenThere was another post not long ago regarding the same problem and this was my reply. Additionally you may want to take a step back and re-examine if this guy is “gaslighting” you. I hate to use this term, but you express concerns regarding his parents opinion of you and he turns it around on you to call you controlling. Is this a regular pattern where every conflict you have it ends up being turned back on you, ending with you apologising? Also, why would a guy tell his family that he looks at … | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/01/21 04:59 AM |
| 1 | Married Male Friend (early 30s M) is Not Allowed to be in Contact with Me (late 20s F)No worries all’s good! Have a happy new year. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/12/20 05:08 PM |
| 1 | Married Male Friend (early 30s M) is Not Allowed to be in Contact with Me (late 20s F)I think you have misunderstood or misread what I said. No one is picking a fight with you. Some things aren’t as obvious to people growing up in different environments, social circles, or cultures - and that’s perfectly fine. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/12/20 11:50 AM |
| 2 | Married Male Friend (early 30s M) is Not Allowed to be in Contact with Me (late 20s F)When you live in a world/area where rooming with opposite sex friends is considered normal, you spend a while thinking if your understanding of the world is “too conservative” and if you’re making a big deal out of things. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/12/20 01:00 AM |
| 2 | Married Male Friend (early 30s M) is Not Allowed to be in Contact with Me (late 20s F)I work in a specialist engineering field. Actually I grew up as a tomboy with only male friends so I felt that way for awhile, until I built my own circle of close female friends. The only differentiator between friendship with both sexes I concluded is the level of intimacy. As mentioned there are meaningful topics to talk about and go deep but avoiding the kind of intimacy that opens the window for other things. That kind of need for male attention/validation is best focused on romantic intere… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/12/20 10:34 PM |
| 15 | Need guidance (unsure if I’m being hypergamous)?Nearly every other sentence is a red flag. Look up lovebombing - it’s when someone overwhelms you in the beginning with excessive demonstrations of affection. It only works on someone who is starved for affection, which you probably are given how boys your age have been treating you. Let me point out that in your post introducing him you have mentioned nothing about what you like about him other than his age and the acts of affection he does for you. Likely I’m hypothesising that you see his age… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/12/20 07:54 PM |
| 33 | Married Male Friend (early 30s M) is Not Allowed to be in Contact with Me (late 20s F)I dunno if there’s a model way to deal with it, but I’m an attractive woman who works in a male dominated field. I genuinely did not realise how much of a threat some women perceive me as until I was assaulted by someone’s wife while she was drunk, for talking and joking about our work while in a group setting. There have been multiple other occasions despite dressing conservatively and never doing anything to incite it. Since then I’m very hyperaware of friendships with the opposite sex. Some m… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/12/20 03:06 PM |
| 17 | Setting boundariesIn addition to the comments, expressing boundaries and saying no is something that comes with practice. If you struggle with it, take every opportunity you can find in your life to be comfortable with expressing your needs and rejecting people so you will not freeze up when the time comes. I used to be a doormat so I know first hand. That you would be unable to express a simple boundary to your long term boyfriend though makes me question the power dynamic, if you’re tiptoeing around him and bei… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/12/20 08:05 PM |
| 1 | Giving vs TakingI resonate with this post quite a bit. Having joined RPW a few years ago and having newly gotten out of a LTR, I was fixated on securing a relationship without understanding (or believing) in my worth. Dating back then caused me a lot of anxiety. Dating now is different as I have understood my value, and no longer ignore red flags or rush the vetting process. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/12/20 08:34 PM |
| 3 | Is a man manly by himself?You’re suggesting manipulation and of course you will resent that if he actually responds to it. Men don’t get nearly half as much attention as most women do. Being a woman you have a nurturing touch and will feel more feminine playing a supportive role, a comfort place to land for him. This does not mean you pretend to be helpless when you’re not. This means you find out what your man needs, whether it’s words of affirmation, feeling useful, cheerleading or giving attention. You’re the comfort.… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/12/20 04:30 PM |
| 3 | Decline too early sexual advancesHalf the posts on here are women who wished they had not ignored red flags especially ones that present themselves early on. It’s more of a common pattern in online dating, but you’re vetting for commitment minded, looking for a relationship, and most importantly respectful. These men exist on dating sites. It doesn’t make sense to give people who make sexual advances without meeting you a chance. That’s very telling of what they are looking for at that point in their life. Playful declining sho… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/12/20 06:10 PM |
| 17 | Decline too early sexual advancesErr, they haven’t met you in person yet and are making sexual advances — why are you worried about coming across as a prude when this should raise alarm? You can be direct all you want but if you have to “decline” or state you’re not that kind of girl so early on, he’s just showed you his hand so believe him. In my experience there are three kinds: the ones that raise alarm bells like mentioned above, the ones that shit test you, and flirting. HVM don’t put up with female equivalents of shit tes… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/12/20 04:48 AM |
| 2 | Crafty women: Help make a momento?I’ve always wanted to do this but never found the right man to: Colourful notes rolled into a mini scroll and sealed with a ribbon, in a glass jar. The notes will contain all the things he has done that has made me smile, or that makes him awesome. Or maybe the date and description of milestones/special memories. The idea is that on a bad day he can dip his hand into the jar, randomly open a mini scroll and be surprised. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/12/20 07:33 PM |
| 3 | New account, long-term member - advice for dating an older manThanks! Just sharing what I’ve learnt over the last few years through vetting mistakes. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/12/20 03:43 PM |
| 5 | New account, long-term member - advice for dating an older manIt sounds like the only issue is how your friends/family may perceive him, but then family/friends by nature will be protective. It’s natural if they have some skepticism from the start. My loved ones only came round when he had the chance to prove himself on first meeting / it reflected in my behavior that me being with him had a positive impact. I think the biggest thing I struggled with in this category was in physical appearance where the age gap was more apparent. Strangers would make judge… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/12/20 08:58 PM |
| 19 | Are threesomes important for a couple's healthYou’re not in a committed relationship. He is sussing out if you’re the kind of woman willing to do a threesome with him and another girl. If you put two and two together, it’s not hard to see what he really wants and how he really sees you. It’s one less girl to find in a world where very few girls would be one third of a random guy’s fantasy. But let’s play the situation out. Let’s say you have been in a committed relationship for two years and your boyfriend brings up fucking other women as a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/12/20 08:35 PM |
| 1 | Is it wrong to stalk someone who has blocked me?Near everyone looks at their exes or whatever from time to time. It became an obsession for you due to the blocking. It is even more creepy if someone creates a fake account to stalk because then you start worrying if some psycho is out for your blood. The social media algorithm also ranks stalkers at the top of the list so you can see who they are. Nothing on social media is 100% true. You probably obsess because you fantasise about a similar life, so that’s where your energy should be going in… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/12/20 09:32 AM |
| 20 | New account, long-term member - advice for dating an older manI was in a LTR of several years with someone twice my age back when I was 19, so it’s not really the same thing since your life stage at 27 is closer to his life stage at 38. But the assumption is the same, that it is unconventional and you will be the outlier. Here are some things you could look out for: - Reasons as to why he is single and unmarried at 38. To me no history of serious relationships at 38 is a red flag, especially if everything else has been casual. - Is his dating history all y… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/12/20 09:19 AM |
| 10 | Should you tell your partner about your past?You should vet carefully before divulging. Another perspective to consider is that knowing that you are a victim of abuse/cheating may signal to abusers, cheaters, and “saviours” that you’re a target. It’s sad but true, especially for physical abusers it’s another way to downgrade you and make it easier for them. So divulge only when you get close, or better yet wait for them to open up to you. Going into engagement or marriage without divulging though is a big no, but understandably if it’s a v… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/12/20 03:49 AM |
| 1 | Should LVW pursue LVM or just be spinsters?Seems like you’re moving forward to me, just not getting to where you want to be as fast as you would like. What you’re describing is a normal cycle of someone trying to get fit and figuring out their habits standing in the way. Even fitness coaches spiral. You should be kinder to yourself every time you spiral. A person’s health and weight is dependent on more than just willpower - as you have seen, it’s also dependent on your control over your environment. The fact that you take ownership of i… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/12/20 08:54 AM |
| 7 | I’ve had my best friend chosen over me twice. Am I doing something wrong?You are young and cannot see that there are many fish in the water. There’s no such thing as “he’s the best guy ever” nor can you negotiate romance with logic - this also means you cannot do “something wrong”. It also does not mean your friend is doing something right. This sort of thinking will only damage your self esteem and breed useless resentment towards other girls. What is within your control is your ability to improve your femininity and other characters traits to attract someone who is… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/12/20 08:35 AM |
| 1 | Male friend?Very likely insecurity. Yeah there’s no winning this situation. Imo if you are kind/friendly/make an effort she’d probably resent you more for being “better” than she is. If you avoid, it looks suspicious. If you flaunt your husband there’d be jealousy of the safety you have. Some women are just like that. When they’re around I just be more alert when it comes to reading the room and be careful I don’t give them an excuse to blow up. I also usually try to have a female friend aware of the situat… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/12/20 09:49 AM |
| 1 | my boyfriend wants to start a family with me and live our lives together, but not marry meThis is why you make sure you are on the same page early on, not two years later. You feel degraded because he does not trust you and is making all sorts of excuses to not give you the safety you need. Worse, he sounds like he knows you will bend for him. Let me ask you, why do you have to be the one to trust and take the big risk, when there is no trust and taking the big risk on his end? It’s a double standard and he’s feeding it to you as though it’s the most reasonable thing in the world. By… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/12/20 07:12 PM |
| 3 | Male friend?Are you attractive? Then you have no chance in appearing non-threatening. A feminine lady working in a male field is always a threat, I can relate first hand. My advice is her jealousy is not your problem. It could be well a number of reasons pertaining to her husband or her own insecurities that there is no point speculating. Some women can get insecure if you’re just in the vicinity and not speaking to their man. If you conduct yourself well and have professional boundaries with said husband, … | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/12/20 06:54 PM |
| 5 | Should LVW pursue LVM or just be spinsters?There are very few truly ugly women in this world. Only ones who do not look after themselves. From your short responses, you lack the self-discipline and emotional regulation to get where you want to be, but that’s also because at your age, you’re still figuring out what tools you have to tackle these challenges. You mention being served certain foods make you feel helpless because you can’t count calories. What about waking up early to pack lunch, or cutting away the greasy bits? There are alw… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/12/20 06:43 PM |
| 1 | Does anyone else worry they’re infertile?Can you share more? My understanding is that if couples can’t conceive, they visit a fertility clinic and tests and run to show which of the couple has a problem. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/12/20 06:41 PM |
| 2 | Does anyone else worry they’re infertile?Test not covered. You have to go to a fertility clinic. Meh. I’ve been fantasising since before I discovered RPW. Never indulged because of rigid values. I know what you mean by it’d be your greatest relief and saddest fear if you find out you can’t be fertile. at some point have to be careful not to resent men for not having these issues. | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/12/20 01:00 AM |
| 8 | Does anyone else worry they’re infertile?Word for word how I feel. There are clinical tests to check and I was thinking of getting a checkup next year. Being a red pilled woman has benefits outside of men actually because you understand the nature of man and woman, and there’s no harm working on self improvement. But yeah if I find out I’m infertile, I do intend on going crazy with everything I’ve missed out on in waiting for “the one”. | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/12/20 12:44 AM |
| 2 | Snooped on my boyfriend’s phone - how to make it up to himWhy did you snoop? Not condoning snooping but gut feeling is usually accurate. | /r/RedPillWives | 30/11/20 11:41 PM |
| 2 | Want to be married but my case feels hopelessYep pedestals come with their own problems. So I always make sure to not reveal unless asked. If they stick around, they like me minus the glamour. Then I tell them the glamour. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/11/20 09:57 PM |
| 6 | Want to be married but my case feels hopelessYour vetting mistakes probably lie in feeling like you’re not good enough, so you are unconsciously attracted to men who will confirm this. Self esteem is the first thing to fix. Being pumped and dumped is a painful thing, especially since you’re conscious that some of it was your fault. I haven’t tried EDMR, but regular therapy only helped with my PTSD. What helps me is becoming a different person. I’m not talking able surface improvements or homemaking, but character ones such as kindness, tho… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/11/20 03:31 AM |
| 4 | Is it okay to leave a man because you feel no passion for him?The only reason you should have sex with a man is when you get commitment and feel passion for him. Having no passion and increasing your n count needlessly is stupid. Attraction cannot be negotiated. A smoker partner and forcing you into a lifestyle (whether it’s being vegan, leading a low waste eco life or dragging you into smoking) are two different things. Are either of these dealbreakers for you? Only you can say. Your expectations are only ridiculous if you cannot seperate dealbreakers, “n… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/11/20 05:13 PM |
| 5 | I'm glad that abused men are finally being taken seriously after the Johnny Depp x Amber Heard fiasco.Flagged and don’t know why this is here. We don’t know the full story and the courts did rule something along the lines of wife beater. Either way this is a sub to help women and not debate such issues. If you have something against women, “Rodrigo”, take it somewhere else. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/11/20 02:09 PM |
| 8 | Why not be a whore in this day and age?It’s tempting for sure. I have a high sex drive and a kink problem that began from childhood. My first boyfriend tried to get me to do group activities to put it lightly. On top of that, I’ve “saved myself” for the “right guy” only to be manipulated twice in traumatic ways. By this data, I should absolutely give in to my prolivicities and just fuck all the good looking men who approach me, instead of continuing to work on myself and the search. Your statement makes sense objectively. No one woul… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/11/20 05:24 PM |
| 1 | Boyfriend doesn’t want to marry me.All the best. It’s never easy to be honest and vulnerable with your desires. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/11/20 04:57 PM |
| 1 | What can cause a woman to lose desire and respect for her man?Dishonesty or when I find out they try to manipulate me is the biggest one for me. I lose all attraction and cannot get it back. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/11/20 09:41 AM |
| 3 | Dating only foreigners? Putting up with men from country?Not sure what your dilemma is exactly. Seems like you have decided to mostly date foreigners and cannot tolerate the negative stereotype that comes with it. In every country, even if the men are all ingrained with the same cultural mindset from the beginning, some men are more progressive and some men are more conservative in relevance to the cultural benchmark. It all depends on their experiences. Also, how men would treat a romantic partner is different from theoretical discussion. Disgust for… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/11/20 09:36 AM |
| 1 | Do you shave your face?It’s more economical on time and safer to get a facial epilator. It hurts more but pulls the hair out from the root so it lasts longer. Shaving is like exfoliation and if you have sensitive skin the real result may only show in 2-3 days. You will not like the stubble and have to shave often, so you’d be “exfoliating” too frequently. If it’s too painful to do it yourself, consider threading. It is also painful but takes out all the little fine hairs as well, leaving a very clean look. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/11/20 09:14 AM |
| 2 | I (23F) just found out that my boyfriend's (25M) ex (21F) committed suicide, and his actions were one of the things that pushed her to do so.This seems promising! All the best to you | /r/RedPillWives | 27/11/20 03:46 AM |
| 5 | Dating Retrospective - please helpYou’re not alone in making this mistake. History is the best predictor of the future. Him confessing to his iffy history and not wanting to be exclusive is a red flag - next time trust what he says. Also because it’s your first relationship, let me tell you how common it is for men to come running back and chase you hard after you pull away. Don’t be so easily won over. Your best bet is in looking at consistent sustained actions, and even then don’t sign and seal away your trust once there is ve… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/11/20 03:40 AM |
| 3 | Boyfriend doesn’t want to marry me.I read it over again and the story sounds confusing. Either you’re reading too much into his every action as a “hint” or he’s sending mixed signals because he knows and is giving you just enough so you don’t leave. I’m confused as to whether you guys already had a serious conversation, since he mentioned he would be open to it in the future. That means he doesn’t want to get married. You know him best and gut feeling is often correct. If marriage is a dealbreaker for you, it’s time to bring up t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/11/20 02:44 AM |
| 1 | Which is worse in your view? Remaining a spinster or marrying a man you're really not attracted to?I suppose you mean not attracted to in the cerebral sense as well. It doesn’t make sense in this day and age, when women have the potential to earn as much as men, to marry a guy for financial stability or safety, unless you want children. I’d much rather be single. | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/11/20 08:39 AM |
| 1 | Resources for avoidant/anxious attachment stylesI “recovered” from an avoidant style and a huge part of it was learning to be comfortable with my deep desires, and learning to be vulnerable. Would definitely recommend Brene Brown’s book on vulnerability. Avoidant/anxious can be a very difficult combo. Having a secure partner helps a lot but for a time I attracted anxious men a lot, and it perpetuated the cycle as I needed to be away from them. Vulnerability especially upfront and not pulling away when it matters counteracts this. | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/11/20 08:36 AM |
| 6 | Boyfriend doesn’t want to marry me.From this paragraph, you never expressed your desire to get married to him. The closest you did was when you implied marriage would be good for the kids and that the kids want you to. That’s not a good reason to get married and you hide your fears of expressing your personal desire to get married behind a whole slew of reasons. Do you expect him to read your mind, especially when you read into his jokes when the both of you never had an actual conversation about it? Seems like you’re fearful of … | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/11/20 08:29 AM |
| 1 | Everything's pointless but not depressed?? Stagnant routineSeems like you have a motivation issue if you need negative consequences (eg boyfriend giving you grief) to get you doing anything for yourself. You also admit to wasting your time away on the phone. Tada. Learning a new skill like guitar/piano you’re going to face some emotional resistance and discomfort in the early stages, before you receive a big dopamine boost. Whereas something like your phone delivers small dopamine boosts / instant gratification easily, but are useless in the long term. … | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/11/20 01:30 PM |
| 3 | I (23F) just found out that my boyfriend's (25M) ex (21F) committed suicide, and his actions were one of the things that pushed her to do so.He was 19 years old and without the ability to make adult decisions regarding a nuanced issue. It sounds like he looked to religion or the community values he was brought up with a solution, but realised things were not so clear cut in the aftermath. More importantly it looks like he confided in you about it despite knowing it makes him look bad, as well as reassured you about future rape. To be frank, I think when you’re brought up in a conservative culture (I am also not a westerner), there is… | /r/RedPillWives | 25/11/20 08:26 AM |
| 11 | My idea of what being a woman is seems to get so much hateYeah it’s a shame that that’s the impression SAMH gives these days, so a background like that really matters. I was watching a reality show where one of the girls was crucified because her dream was to be a SAMH and she worked a lowly job. Clearly the guy had no qualms about it but many people especially women are judgey. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/11/20 07:52 AM |
| 6 | How do you girls respond to your man drooling over another woman in front of you?All men look. It’s biological. The man who values you doesn’t brag about it in front of you. That’s indicative of disrespect and you’re not the first to have this problem by the way. Just search the sub. You respond accordingly depending which is which. One is not like the other. If it’s just jealousy and not disrespect, stay away from shit tests and focus on being the goddess of light and fun. Respond with humor, vulnerability and even sexiness. If it’s disrespect, I would walk away because res… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/11/20 05:18 AM |
| 1 | Men who continually come and go from your lifeYour entire post is just admitting you have been a plate/ego boost for multiple men. These men clearly know it doesn’t take much to win you over if they just “come back and try again” - this is common male behaviour by the way and nothing special, especially by guys who think they’re worth more than you are. What is special is a man who is consistent all the way through. I suspect you either are genuinely not aware you’re being strung along or deep down have trouble accepting why men you perceiv… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/11/20 05:09 AM |
| 3 | How to get over his height?You can’t negotiate attraction. Doesn’t make you a bad person. Stop wasting time. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/11/20 05:00 AM |
| 25 | My idea of what being a woman is seems to get so much hateIt’s a desire that most women share here. However I don’t think such guys are exceedingly rare, they may just present themselves differently from what you may imagine (i.e not a rich charming honorable knight come to sweep you off your feet). You may just be looking in the wrong places, observing wrong traits or attracting the wrong people. Sometimes liberal folk don’t even know it’s what they want, and it’s no longer politically correct to admit it, but they have that instinct and it shows in s… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/11/20 04:55 AM |
| 1 | I have an honest question about a kink.Most men in the first place would not have kinks beyond slight experimentation/rough play, so it’s not something you have to worry about. And it’s also perfectly fine to feel the way you feel. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/11/20 04:36 AM |
| 2 | I have an honest question about a kink.Sexually submissive men make up the biggest group in kink community circles, while sexually dominant women are the smallest hence most in demand. It’s well-known - that’s why you see many dominatrix’s charging tons of money. Of this denomination, feminisation is very common in helping to feel submissive. Anecdotally I’m not married but OP’s situation has happened to me and a few other ladies have posted about it on this sub as well. It need not be alarming. Men like to have someone else take con… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/11/20 03:34 AM |
| 14 | I have an honest question about a kink.It depends on how deep the kink goes. Not everyone understands it and maybe you could have an open conversation to find out more. It could change your perspective. For example, mine started during childhood and this is the case for many people into kink. Obviously, it’s not something you can reveal except to a trusted partner. For your husband, being dominant and having such kinks probably he also has internal conflict. Obviously, don’t participate in anything that you don’t want to do, but mayb… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/11/20 10:27 PM |
| 13 | Is it normal to struggle with one gender and not the other? How do you correct this?Don’t think it’s normal, but more of where you are in life. In my case I’ve been on opposite ends of the spectrum, where I grew up as a tomboy and only hung out with boys. The more feminine you are in behaviour the more men you attract. Doesn’t matter what your hobbies are. Actually the more feminine you are in behavior, the more quality women you attract as well. Tomboyish behaviour is a threat to other women. Women are generally kinder to other feminine women. After I applied RPW to my life th… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/11/20 04:14 PM |
| 1 | Is expecting/believing the man should be paying for dates without complaint or hesitation a red pill woman value?No. It’s just not something you voice aloud. You should always come prepared to pay, but if he offers to there is nothing wrong with wanting to accept without obligation. That’s the difference. RPWs tend to make the mistake of feeling more obliged to put out after he pays, and some men deliberately guilt this way. So if you go mouthing off in liberal circles on how expectations for men should be like, you’re going to be counteracted with “expectations” for women. Also you can’t expect everyone t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/11/20 02:42 AM |
| 2 | How to not be annoyed by people?I have this problem and reading up on how to vet has worsened it because I now can recognise bullshit more frequently. The example you gave though sounds less like bullshitting and more like the other person just wants to talk about themselves. My workaround is to always assume good intentions until proven otherwise. Some people always feel good to talk to because they genuinely like people and finding out more about them. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/11/20 02:35 AM |
| 4 | Why You Should Read TRPEh. You confuse submission with being a doormat. Coming to RPWomen is taking life by the horns. I’ve understood men (and women) much better since I discovered this sub 3 years ago; the change is quite visible in areas of my life that aren’t romance. The language and how everyone speaks may be a little harsh to get used to. In the end it preaches accountability and gives women more avenues of control. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/11/20 10:18 AM |
| 7 | Relationship horror storyHonestly, staying as a fiancé for 20 years is hard to comprehend, even if you were abused by a narcissist. Feels like information is missing. What you do moving forward depends on what your goals are, your age, and your current state. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/11/20 07:59 AM |
| 1 | Is there even a point in dating if you have a low SMV?You already lost 20lbs. That’s a lot of progress that wasn’t instantaneous, so it’s only a matter of time before you get to an ideal weight. My personal opinion is to max out your SMV before dating so you can cast a wider net. You should also not waste time and work on all other aspects especially RMV traits while you’re waiting to lose the last 15lbs, read up on vetting techniques too and formulate personal boundaries. You’re going to get there so just hang on! | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/11/20 06:23 AM |
| 8 | Is my on/off partner too cheap? What gives?You’re rationalising every little action from him too much. Believe him when he tells you “I’ll never get married”, “marriage ruins relationships”. Whether or not he actually changes his mind in the future or sticks to it, this is him telling you he doesn’t want to get married to you. You should instead be vetting and dating a marriage minded man. Also, he wants you to move in with him with no commitment. He isn’t interested in occasionally treating you and does the bare minimum. Both of you hav… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/11/20 06:10 AM |
| 2 | Make up & hair helpTry a smokey eye. It looks good on everyone and is timeless. Voted most liked makeup by men. A woman in her 40s also gave me similar advice. | /r/RedPillWives | 20/10/20 08:13 PM |
| 6 | How to be sexier?Your husband’s comments will affect your performance subconsciously, especially if it has been gravitating towards critical. Both of you can have some form of non-talky communication where he practices positive reinforcement. For example, saying “that’s right baby” or a code word like “green” when he likes something you do. Stay away from talking. This sort of thing can not be fixed with talking or critique. I have been here and my ex’s critique made me lose interest in trying eventually. Have a… | /r/RedPillWives | 19/10/20 08:31 AM |
| 1 | Narcissist ex boyfriend using me as a bait for making his wife jeolous,blocking my feminine journey ,making me crazy.Should I involve my parents in this matter??Why did you even pick up the wife’s calls? If it’s his wife, she will not believe you over him. You can try cutting all of them off from every way to reach you and see what happens. Out of sight, out of mind. Either way, you no longer have power to negotiate those videos. As you said he’s a liar and manipulator. Even if he’s threatened with the consequences, will that stop him from releasing the videos at his fancy? It’s an impossible scenario and no longer in your control, unless you think the … | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/10/20 08:50 PM |
| 3 | Narcissist ex boyfriend using me as a bait for making his wife jeolous,blocking my feminine journey ,making me crazy.Should I involve my parents in this matter??If you’ve studied narcissicism in detail you would know that the best thing for you to do is to block him and never interact with him again. I can’t stress this enough. Him possessing those videos is worrying for sure. Please in the future never take such videos. Talking to your parents or getting the perspective of adults may be a good idea. In the event he does release the videos anyway, and I feel you have to be mentally prepared for the worst scenario, at least everyone is prepared. I’m not … | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/10/20 05:40 PM |
| 8 | Narcissist ex boyfriend using me as a bait for making his wife jeolous,blocking my feminine journey ,making me crazy.Should I involve my parents in this matter??I’m not white or Christian and I’ve had bad experiences with a narcissist, but I felt fed up reading this. If OP would like help the very least she could do is proofread and present her problems as per sidebar suggests. Even if her first language isn’t English, she is clearly rambling as though texting a friend. She also seems to know enough English to abbreviate. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/10/20 05:32 PM |
| 1 | What‘s your thoughts on first dates in bars?Coffee or drinks on first date is normal. Dinner date is a small upgrade, you really can’t control or demand that. Bar or alcohol is kind of shady for a RPW and sends the wrong message. I would suggest a cafe and see how they react to that. Usually I don’t even meet past evening so they get the message I’m not going home with them. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/10/20 11:42 AM |
| 2 | Male Friends?It is naive to be “best friends” with the opposite sex or close to the point where intimate topics are discussed. Where there is physical or emotional attraction, anything can happen with the right window of opportunity. When people say they don’t want their husbands to hang out one on one with a woman, what they’re really saying is that they do not want to create such an opportunity. I think self awareness and honesty to self is key; as women we can sense when men are attracted to us, so being … | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/10/20 08:38 AM |
| 6 | Let’s share our personal and relationship wins, big and smallu/MissOrion24 I don’t think you need to justify yourself to this guy at all. So many guys play video games as a sustainable hobby, including all the married guys I know through working in STEM as well as in my only healthy LTR. Just a joke but the only guys I’ve had problems with are those who don’t play video games 😂 He’s not even happily married, seems to be projecting, and from his replies to you seems to have stalked deep into your post history. Yikes seriously. Reported this comment, doesn’… | /r/RedPillWives | 12/10/20 06:19 PM |
| 1 | When you feel like your partner is taking you for grantedCan’t diagnose anyone just from anecdotes. I use narcissist to catalogue a series of behaviours... you can secretly read If He’s So Great, Why Do I Feel So Bad by Avery Neal and Psychopath Free by Jackson Mckenzie. It can be hard to realise while in the moment, if you’re a pleaser or submissive. I only woke up because I was lucky and had a previous healthy relationship to compare to. I was getting exhausted because I could never make him happy no matter what I did, plus I had never even heard th… | /r/RedPillWives | 12/10/20 04:44 AM |
| 5 | When you feel like your partner is taking you for grantedI dated a narcissicist and this reeks of it. He repeatedly made you feel like he was unsure of you to the point of breaking up twice. He criticises you over the most minuscule of things to bring down your self esteem. He flaunts how you’re not a priority and you have to beg to spend time together. He knows you want to get married and that you’re getting older, soon to hit the wall, but “promises” you a timeline NINE years later when you’ll be 40. I’m not as experienced as the older RPW ladies he… | /r/RedPillWives | 11/10/20 07:10 AM |
| 1 | When do you stop being a bitch?Ya it seems to be a clickbait title, most of the content is about not being a doormat and being polite with boundaries. I follow through with boundaries, just by the time I do that it seems to be too late (e.g. I’ve had physical intimacy with them only to find out they’ve cheated/lied). And if I say “if you do X it’s over” within the first few dates then it sounds like a threat. Maybe there’s no way around it and I will only know when I “get the answer”. | /r/RedPillWives | 01/10/20 11:00 PM |
| 1 | When do you stop being a bitch?Hi and thanks for sharing! To clarify, waiting 1 month was in the past - it was my first and only relationship that evolved into a healthy 3 year LTR, so it’s my only reference point. I’ve only realized that waiting longer is the norm and I should not as you say, play submissive wife too fast. I am far from clingy though and almost never make the first move. Like you I also don’t save guys numbers unless we have been on more than 4 dates. This is what I see as naturally “bitchy” behavior like in… | /r/RedPillWives | 01/10/20 10:27 PM |
| 3 | When do you stop being a bitch?Thank you for your input and glad to know I’m not alone in this dilemma. I didn’t realise people waited so long before letting their guard down, as with my first relationship it only took about a month and that was my only reference point for the rest of my relationships. Moving forward I should definitely gradually drag out letting my guard down to six months or more. Curious about what you consider as the remaining 20% of submissiveness that you would only give in marriage, and is this somethi… | /r/RedPillWives | 01/10/20 10:20 PM |
| 1 | My bf is with me just because I was the only available option. It's killing me insideIt depends on if this is truly your insecurity or if he doesn’t respect you. You can tell the latter if he openly likes, ogles or brags about other girls in front of you. It’s even worse when he can’t “get” them because he’s unattractive/has unrealistic expectations. Some guys pine forever. In my history when guys bring up stories of other girls in a bragging sense for no related reason, it’s usually foreshadowing. It’s true you should work out and be the best you can in terms of appearance, but… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/09/20 12:52 PM |
| 2 | How to know when it’s the right time to come out of nun mode?I’m also in nun mode and have been since I broke up with my ex in Jan. It’s also the longest I’ve gone without seeing anyone and I get your desire to want to have children as early as possible. At the start of my journey I posted a long pre-dating checklist I aspire to reach as a RPW (eg. social skills, fitness, availability), or have at least made some demonstrated progress on. Now even though on the list I’m only left with trauma which I’m fixing with therapy, I still don’t feel ready and I th… | /r/RedPillWives | 25/09/20 08:20 AM |
| 2 | Welcome to All, Not Just the Wives!What is the format/options for single women? I'm in nun mode to treat ptsd and not ready to date. | /r/RedPillWives | 25/09/20 06:15 AM |
| 4 | What advice do you have for women in their early or mid twenties in terms of vetting and finding the right man for them ? What are common mistakes you see?Thank you for sharing your story. Doesn’t sound like an easy journey and I relate a lot to it. Currently in therapy stage and waiting to feel ready while worried about the clock. Thanks again for sharing. | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/09/20 06:03 AM |
| 3 | Welcome to All, Not Just the Wives!Just shared the pinned post with some of the RPW I’ve spoken to via message... hopefully more will realise the situation, but I suppose it will take a while to build the community! | /r/RedPillWives | 24/09/20 04:57 PM |
| 2 | Anyone else have a hard time making male friends?I see where you’re coming from. It doesn’t have to be gaming, but joining a university club or competition/hackathon where you’ll have to form teams and socialize with both genders may be a good idea. You can also use the time while losing weight to develop/demonstrate RMV traits. Also all the best on the weight loss process. It can’t be easy, but it makes up about 70% of a girl’s SMV and I’ve seen friends radically transform. It’s definitely worth it! | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/09/20 04:00 PM |
| 2 | Doubts about long-term compatibility and happiness with my boyfriend of 3 years. Not sure what to do.The rule for a LDR, especially one that is 3 years old, is that there has to be a firm end date and shared expectations of what lies ahead, otherwise you’re just wasting your time. It’s not about “doing better”, it’s about whether your current relationship is going to work out. To me your post sounds like you’ve invested quite a bit into this guy, but you still aren’t sure and are trying to convince yourself. It’s normal after 3 years to feel unsure whether someone is “the one” and whether you c… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/09/20 03:32 PM |
| 7 | Anyone else have a hard time making male friends?It’s definitely normal to want male attention in romantic capacity, but maybe not such a good idea to improve your appearance for the sake of making male friends. There have been a few threads on here on whether a RPW can have platonic male friends. I’m of the belief that there’s no such thing as a completely platonic close male friendship. If there’s attraction from both parties, a window of opportunity can always be created. Attractive girls who attract male attention you may often hear storie… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/09/20 03:13 PM |
| 7 | Welcome to All, Not Just the Wives!Whoohoo. Happy to see this message! | /r/RedPillWives | 24/09/20 01:54 PM |
| 4 | I love my SO of 5 months, but I just discovered he is a compulsive kleptomaniac. Have no idea what to make of it..That post has been clarified to be applicable towards LTRs and married couples, not for a few months of dating. This - the lying more so than stealing - is a giant red flag. OP should not and has no obligation to risk her own future for a man she has only known for a handful of months. RPW strive to be good partners to worthy Captains, not doormats to abusive partners. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/09/20 04:12 AM |
| 5 | I love my SO of 5 months, but I just discovered he is a compulsive kleptomaniac. Have no idea what to make of it..Oh dear I really feel for you. But at first, I was going to say “if this were your husband or a LTR, then it would make more sense to help him through this” but I paused. Because if he were your husband or a LTR and managed to keep this from you, it means he is very manipulative and a whizz at lying. It’s been 5 months. I don’t suggest this often but I hope you steer clear of trying to help fix the man. You’re not wed to him, this is a huge red flag, and you should cut your losses now. If he rea… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/09/20 03:53 AM |
| 5 | Post-College OptionsThere’s always options, just that your path may not look conventional. Many people at this age would still be figuring out a balance between what they’re good at and what they enjoy doing. It’s fine to take on a handful of internships and explore - unless you’ve been exposed to it, you won’t know where to begin. I would say focus on finishing your degree well and don’t waste it, because it’s your base qualification towards finding another path. It’s proof you can accomplish something. Talk to pe… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/09/20 03:03 PM |
| 1 | I want to get into some of these hobbies but I have a few questions…Thanks for sharing, that sounds impressive. So you were already toned before doing Lyra? I’m doing pilates and bodyweight stuff now but wondering if I should switch to aerial and acrobatics. It looks pretty and I want to get toned, not just slim. Muscle mass would be good. Did you change your diet too? | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/09/20 02:50 PM |
| 1 | Pros and cons to an age gap relationshipDo as you wish with your simplistic assumptions. It’s good that you want to develop yourself, but you lack awareness, are ignorant of it, and I do not wish to further engage. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/09/20 02:45 PM |
| 3 | F (23), my (M25) Boyfriend doesn't consider special events and completely ignored my birthdayYou sound sweet and it’s probably a good sign that he has asked for help before. It’s weird that after he suggested this, he did not actually go and do anything. Perhaps you could send him a list of 3 things you want and ask him to surprise you with one of those? Also, do you know each other’s love language? | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/09/20 02:41 PM |
| 6 | Pros and cons to an age gap relationshipYou don’t grow into a woman by rushing the process of growing up, because it takes time and introspection to develop the tools you need to deal with various situations. Dating an older man just to rub shoulders with “maturity” is a childish notion. At best, it’s an illusion to substitute for something missing within yourself. Experienced men will also manipulate this need, especially those in power. I speak frankly so younger girls know to be on guard. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/09/20 02:37 PM |
| 2 | Pros and cons to an age gap relationshipYep, rather than maturity I think self-awareness might be a better way to put it! | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/09/20 02:26 PM |
| 2 | Pros and cons to an age gap relationshipI said a con to an age gap relationship is maturing too quickly beyond the normal socialisation process. People are exposed to things gradually as they age, go through various life stages and adjust, not have everything dumped on them from the get-go. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/09/20 02:23 PM |
| 1 | Am I "friendzoning" myself?This is just an assumption but it’s not an uncommon problem for people to be uncomfortable with growing intimacy and to reject others before they can be rejected, unless they’re with someone that seems unattainable or are treating them with ambiguity (your FwB situation). Check out avoidant attachment style. A solution is to practice gradual, small bouts of being vulnerable. This means presenting yourself as available, admitting you want a relationship, and leaving room for getting hurt and reje… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/09/20 06:52 AM |
| 2 | F (23), my (M25) Boyfriend doesn't consider special events and completely ignored my birthdaySo you’ve communicated your wants to him a couple of times and he has not demonstrated any initiative towards fulfilling it. Have you explained to him why it matters so much to you, and more importantly has he ever compromised towards doing something for you just because it makes you happy? If the answer is no for the latter, you may have a bigger issue than just a guy not placing importance on special occasions. I’d also advise refraining from suggesting what he should do with the googling or m… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/09/20 06:47 AM |
| 37 | Pros and cons to an age gap relationshipWhen I was in my very early 20s I was in an age gap relationship for a few years with someone almost twice my age. Despite having a good relationship and little friction from the age gap, I would not recommend it. This is because I was socialised differently from other women when it came to relationships, and matured more quickly. Now I find my mindset is incompatible with not just a lot of men who are my age, but also peers my age. You also have to ask yourself why you have an attraction for an… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/09/20 06:36 AM |
| 3 | I want to get into some of these hobbies but I have a few questions…How long did it take you doing aerial yoga to have a toned body? | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/09/20 06:26 AM |
| 5 | Banned from RedPillWomen for disagreeing with TRPThanks for the detailed explanation! This is honestly scary to know, since as I understand it TRP and RPW goals are very different. I’ve been looking at the RPW sub as a safe haven to empower women in a feminine way, to be better partners, and to learn how to vet. Will there be a mass migration? It’s pretty scary to have men who want to spin plates groom women, especially if these women coming to RPW have a desire to take on a more submissive role in the first place! Edit: and also... these wome… | /r/RedPillWives | 19/09/20 06:18 PM |
| 6 | New Rule: "Leave Him" is never the 1st option.Vetting, essentially learning how to be a good judge of character, is something a lot of those new to RPW do not know how to do. Being here for 3 years there have been many posts on women striving to be the perfect RPW and being submissive while skipping this process. When I first joined, I completely focused on and self-introspected on what I could do as a woman after the sidebar readings, without being aware that the man could be treating me badly or as a doormat. While bad behaviour on the pa… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/09/20 06:05 PM |
| 6 | Banned from RedPillWomen for disagreeing with TRPI’ve been following RPW for the last 3 years and just saw this post. What’s going on? Read the thread but I don’t follow exactly - the thought that TRP running the RPW sub is scary. | /r/RedPillWives | 19/09/20 05:45 PM |
| 4 | I have a monica vs rachel situation here.Read The Six Pillars of Self Esteem. You can’t pretend not to care and comparing yourself you will subconsciously act like your friend rather than being yourself. Instead you could sit down and examine the traits about yourself that you do like, and amplify them. Grass is always greener on the other side, you don’t know who is admiring your dependability. If you’re not naturally fun, you don’t have to be - just don’t be a party pooper. It’s okay for your friend to be in the limelight for certain… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/09/20 05:33 PM |
| 10 | Guys like that I work in childcare. It's about time I start embracing that.I’m happy you’re embracing this side of you. If it makes you feel better, I’m the ambitious STEM career type of woman and I’ve always been envious of women who work in feminine roles. They seem happier. I once helped out at a weekend childcare to help out a friend for a couple of months, and seriously considered getting a diploma to switch. The energy and person I became was very different. You shouldn’t downplay your job. Kids are extremely malleable and in a sense you’re shaping the future. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/09/20 12:16 PM |
| 1 | Childfree friend is mad at me. Was I wrong?The way her friend phrased it seemed more like she was joking... “best thing about babies is you can return them”. OP’s issue with her friend seems to come from her history of criticising children, and it’s perfectly fine to not trust such a person to babysit. Offering to babysit is a nice gesture though, the rest are character assumptions. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/09/20 12:11 PM |
| 4 | Childfree friend is mad at me. Was I wrong?Her friend may have her own issues, but she offered to do a nice thing and OP shot her down unnecessarily with assumptions and hurtful words where she could have employed more tact. Don’t think it’s misattuned at all. The mature and feminine response is to reach out and apologise, even if OP does not want her to babysit. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/09/20 05:28 AM |
| 1 | Friendship broken because of 'feminism'People who feel so strongly about something that they need to impose it on others usually are going through some unresolved issues themselves. By not being convinced to her worldview, you are threatening her reality. Unfortunately you cannot fix this nor point this out. Either she will realise some day and regret, or find other people who will hold up the illusion for her. Your job right now is to tell yourself, que sera sera, and find more mature respectful friends. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/09/20 05:14 AM |
| 3 | Childfree friend is mad at me. Was I wrong?I think mothers can be overly paranoid about their children, but also your gut instinct not to let this particular woman babysit your child is there for a reason. If you would let a female college student who seems responsible babysit your child but not her whom you’ve known for some time, something is wrong with her. Listen to your gut. However she is your friend, had good intentions, and sometimes candor to this degree is unnecessary. You could have just said you don’t want to trouble her or t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/09/20 04:44 AM |
| 1 | I'm involved in an affair with a married man and I need helpFirst of all I don’t know why you picked this sub to post your random relationship problem. This sub is for women who have or who aspire to have certain feminine qualities, to work towards attaining a healthy relationship with a worthy man. There’s no magic advice here to help you “keep” this guy. Your situation doesn’t meet any of this criteria. He’s not a worthy man because he’s cheating on his wife with kids in tow. Women in this situation often demonize the wife, but most of the time the rel… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/09/20 05:14 PM |
| 2 | Tips on improving my unhealthy mindset towards other womenIf you have past unresolved trust issues, likely you’re projecting and it’s affecting your behaviour. I cut off a woman friend recently because her own trust issues was affecting me to a great degree, she was betrayed by high school friends over a decade ago but acted like everyone else needed to adjust to her issues all the time. More than men, women thrive on intimacy and safety of the herd. If you read the posts on this sub, many women complain about not being able to find sane female friends… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/09/20 04:49 PM |
| 3 | Has anyone else noticed that the only men around them involved in church or religious stuff seem to be low-test/effeminate/borderline gay?I’m an atheist but attract religious and conservative masculine men. Not extreme masculine but qualify. They aren’t party types but tend to be those that did well during schooling years while taking on different extracurriculars, so decent social life, and are close with family. What I’ve learnt instead is that it’s hard to find someone outside the church with conservative views. Which is crucial for me as it’s a dealbreaker if someone is religious or is liberal. It may just be your church. It d… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/09/20 05:14 AM |
| 2 | Boyfriend thinks I’m too good for him. How to make him feel better?I’ve seen two women including my younger sibling go through this. I can’t say for sure but generally people both men and women who don’t have much of a self esteem, especially if consistent, will wind up sabotaging the relationship. Your initial reaction is to comfort him and reassure him, but what you don’t realise is that it doesn’t matter “if you don’t like gym fiends and prefer him”. It’s a problem with him. He sounds like he’s in a bad place with himself and that does not make for good dati… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/09/20 04:28 PM |
| 4 | Male friendsI work in a male-dominated field so this is inevitable. My answer is yes you can, but have boundaries. Transitioning from platonic to non-platonic takes windows of opportunity from either party’s perspective. The trick is not to create those windows. To be RPW I feel is to conduct yourself respectfully and be respectful towards others. For example, I would not go to a male friend’s house alone, drink alone with them, or indulge in overly emotionally intimate talk. If someone clearly likes me and… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/09/20 02:07 AM |
| 1 | Moving in with my boyfriend and becoming a homemaker at the end of November!I’m happy for you and your excitement in this progress :) It seems like your expectations are in the right place. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/09/20 01:54 AM |
| 22 | Is it ever worth it to wait for a married man?“The best predictor of the future is past history”. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/09/20 06:31 PM |
| 3 | What do you think of this guy I (20F) met? He (21M) seems too good to be true.I know this is cliche advice and I don’t want to rain on your parade, but just a gentle reminder to not place this guy on a pedestal and continue vetting. Remember you’re still vetting. If he’s exactly what he says he is, then great, you’re still on that path! If not, you didn’t rush into a trap headfirst. Many men are on their best behaviour during courtship. If things “seem too good to be true” it can be an unconscious gut feeling warning you. Continue vetting and observing his actions. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/09/20 04:44 PM |
| 3 | I have no friends, please tell me how I can make deep meaningful relationships with people who arent my boyfriend.You attract who you are. The easiest way to make authentic friendships is to show (1) you want and are open to making friendships and (2) you are authentic yourself. But deep meaningful relationships aren’t made right off the bat. It may start out as a group of friends continually showing up with shallow small talk. To deepen the relationship, you have to self-disclose gradually, mirroring the other person in terms of what is shared. Good woman friends are healthy people who are kind when no one… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/09/20 04:33 PM |
| 13 | Moving in with my boyfriend and becoming a homemaker at the end of November!Congrats! Do you have a ring or discussed towards that direction? Sounds like he is getting all the wife privileges without the formal commitment... Not to rain on your parade, but this sub generally advices to not move in until engagement, because otherwise there is little incentive on his end to marry. | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/09/20 04:23 PM |
| 3 | How do you manage to stay elegant and feminine when you have wavy/curly hair?Wavy and curly hair is elegant and feminine. Many girls wake up in the wee hours of the morning just to curl their hair. Taming curly hair, from hearing anecdotes, is hell that is much out of your control. Instead, I suggest you look up role models with curly hair. Currently I can think of the character Claire from Outlander, who has wild curly hair but is perhaps the most elegant/composed woman figure I can think of. It depends a lot on how you dress and carry yourself. Obviously, work out too … | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/09/20 06:19 PM |
| 6 | What do women get out of the red pill?Red Pill Women doesn’t encourage dating Red Pill Men. We believe in dating men with (for lack of clearer terms) a mix of Alpha and Beta traits. Leadership and provider. Red Pill Theory for women and men are very different. Red Pill Men don’t necessarily want marriage. Red Pill Women want healthy relationships, most often towards marriage. RPW is also not manipulative like RPM is, but relies on true change. RPW attracts women from both liberal and conservative backgrounds, secular and religious. … | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/09/20 06:06 PM |
| 3 | I try to look at life from a RP perspective and I find that ... men do not lead relationshipsEntire continents have been won and lost over pussy, it’s not a new concept. I don’t think there’s any straight answer to your question. Women resent men who can be easily manipulated, yet also resent men who do not take into account their feelings and opinions. The way I see it, men lead when women choose to follow. Does that make them any less of a leader? For example, if you read The Surrendered Wife and/or Fascinating Womanhood, essentially it tells you to readjust your perspective towards y… | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/08/20 04:33 PM |
| 2 | I’m so confused by the whole ‘who pays for the date thing’...in my observation masculine men get really turned off when I pay?Yeah it’s fine line between not wanting them to see you as entitled and being the receiving role. I always pull out my wallet getting ready to pay and the guy always stops me. You could do the same so there is no need to ask or offer, but it shows you don’t assume. You could also say, “do you mind if I get the coffee?” Edit: you offering to get the coffee after the actual date isn’t a bad thing though. how are you defining traditional/masculine? Guys offering to pay for the meal is a normal occu… | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/08/20 04:25 PM |
| 3 | How do I navigate a dating scene that has become toxic to women through Lib Fem without having sex but also being non traditional?I feel you on the narcissistic tendencies front and seeing sex as a game to be won, having been played myself once. But these men also tend to exhibit certain behaviour that can mostly be avoided - aka breaking boundaries. I think first you have to change your internalised “men only want one thing” mindset. Men also want relationships, and you have to get used to thinking winning a relationship with you is valuable. This comes easily when you’ve been working on yourself. When I shifted my mindse… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/08/20 05:03 AM |
| 7 | Dating tips?There’s no man that’s naturally amazing to be with, especially around that age, and every other girl wants the same thing as you. If you plan on dating a college guy, look for someone who you (1) respect and (2) has potential to be most of these things. Being amazing is learned and inspired, especially with the right woman by their side. Meanwhile develop yourself in every aspect and be open and present yourself as available to the people you meet. What you study at bachelors level has no impact… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/08/20 04:38 AM |
| 2 | How do I have a more gentle approach?Have you heard about that advice where if you trip over something before a presentation, it makes the audience like you more? Perfection is not likeable. Imperfection is. If you’re energetic and animated and sometimes get too loud when excited, so? It doesn’t make you any less feminine to express yourself. It’s your quirk and you’re going to be unhappy if you, as you put it, changed something about yourself that you feel is you. | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/08/20 08:42 PM |
| 3 | How do I stay realistic without wanting to give up?As someone younger and doing all those things you’ve listed, finding the right person and marriage isn’t a guarantee either. It’s never guaranteed. People can sense if you’re dating because your clock is running out. You have to improve to want to be a better woman, to have a better quality of life, for yourself first of all. It’s true you likely have to be realistic about your standards, but not to the extent of downplaying yourself. You’re someone who took care of your parent at the expense of… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/08/20 08:32 PM |
| 2 | Stop bringing up negative past with your partner.Maybe fortifying your existing friendships or building new ones could be a goal moving forward. You’d feel much stabler if you had a strong and wider support system behind you. Socialising regularly also helps with mental health in general, as that’s how humans are designed. I definitely feel you in the last paragraph. The sudden flashbacks is the only thing left now, but working through it with my therapist. You can do this! | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/08/20 08:15 PM |
| 2 | What is a RPW way to deal with an adulterous husband?As a younger RP woman it scares me a little to read your story, because in your situation, I can imagine myself believing his gaslighting about how the lack of sex, my studying ambitions, and my income are making him feel less masculine. Or at least I would have believed this a year ago. What I’m learning through painful experience is that while I have steadfast RPW beliefs, there’s a difference in submitting to a misogynistic chauvinist, and someone who leads with taking into account both our n… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/08/20 06:09 PM |
| 3 | Does this man exist or am I just looking for a unicorn?I’m looking for conservative (eg pro-life) but is atheist. Haven’t met any so far. The men I attract are hyper-religious or are hyper-liberal. My conclusion is if I’m a contradiction then I have to look in places where men might be a contradiction. Eg religious upbringing but deviated. You may have to give up one. Good news is that most men can be providers to you - it just depends on how you treat them. | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/08/20 05:52 PM |
| 4 | Stop bringing up negative past with your partner.First thing you should know, as someone who’s recovered (only comes back time to time), is that it’s okay to talk about it. With that much mental load, it will be more damaging to not. But you’ve also recognised that it’s unhealthy to unload on one single person, and are looking for a healthier way to deal with emotions. My suggestion is to spread it out. You need not go in detail with each person, but have a number of close people you can turn to. Like others have suggested you need a regular t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/08/20 05:38 PM |
| 3 | Pressure to settle down.You know you’re good to enter a relationship when you can handle being alone. Maybe you understand it but can’t internalise it, but all of this is out of your control. A few dates not working out after, you’ll finally let go of this need to control internally. My best advice for you is to set healthy boundaries and don’t do anything with a guy that breaks that, otherwise, as you’ve discovered, you’ll start losing your self respect. Get a healthy group of decent female friends. Getting married is… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/08/20 01:11 PM |
| 20 | Do all guys expect sex on the third date?No, no, no. Please stop this thinking right now. Women are conditioned from birth to fulfil expectations, and from experience putting out because of XYZ reasons is a BIG one for women, especially if you start trying to rationalise the reasons this guy is bed-worthy. There’s no sex on third date rule and if you comb through the forum, you’ll see stories of women who’ve waited anywhere from two weeks to a few months to even after marriage. If any guy tries to pull this “obligation” on you, he just… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/08/20 06:36 PM |
| 3 | How to stay looking put together without makeup?So my skin also doesn’t react well with makeup and I can sympathise. Firstly, go to r/SkincareAddiction and find out the best routine for your skin. I rarely wear foundation and people always think I do. With sensitive skin, sometimes wearing foundation can make your skin look cakey and it’s worse than wearing no makeup. Secondly, you can neaten your overall outlook by pairing the right clothing and getting the right fit. For example, don’t wear loose/baggy pants if you’re wearing a loose top. O… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/08/20 06:20 PM |
| 3 | Thoughts on having a lady roommate living with a couple.Agree with your mother. It’s a RPW thing for you to help your friend in time of need, but I assume some time has passed now for her to get out of the shock and prepare for her next steps. I think you’re questioning yourself whether it’s justified to kick such a fragile person out for personal “selfish” reasons, since you seem like one if those very empathetic people. And no, you’ve done the duty of a friend by giving her support and tools to begin rebuilding, by no means are you obliged (or is i… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/08/20 08:08 PM |
| 0 | Wearing heels without shaving legs?If you look at the chart of things that contribute greatly to a woman’s SMV and is controllable, it doesn’t include leg hair. IMO starting to do anything to it, if it’s not a problem like hirutism, is a poor financial and time investment when you can be concentrating on other things to feel more feminine. Poor financial investment in that you have to keep buying waxing strips or whatever method you use, only to never fix the problem permanently. This is excluding spending money fixing potential … | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/08/20 02:27 PM |
| 11 | My boyfriend talked about a future with another girlYikes. The other comments are correct. He will drop you for her at the drop of the hat. I’ve seen many girls in this position, including sadly my own sibling. It’s nothing to do with you, but with his own wish fulfilment at obtaining what’s unattainable. It’s hard since it’s been over a year and clearly it’s been building up for a while for you to snoop through his phone. Don’t let a guy make you crazy. Even if you stay, you won’t be happy knowing you are second choice. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/08/20 02:15 PM |
| 1 | I want to settle down in my 20’sAnd there’s nothing wrong with vetting for all those things, you certainly can, there is just no 100% guarantee. You’re also not going to get affirmation of that security off the bat/within first few dates to all those questions, which I sense is how you may approach dating since you mentioned not wanting to waste time. That you have 0 control over. What you can control is your observation and presentation. You can enjoy hanging out with the person and observing them over a period of time - that… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/08/20 04:18 AM |
| 4 | I want to settle down in my 20’sFor most older people ready for that, the thought of settling down with someone who’s 19 rarely will cross their mind. Likely in apps those guys filter for older. 19 year olds are catches to be seen with but may not be thought of as wife material at least in modern society. Despite having an age gap relationship with a decent guy when I was that age, I still find it sketchy to have more than a 4 year gap, considering only now I am aware of how “young” my mindset was at 19 and so susceptible to m… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/08/20 12:31 AM |
| 10 | Hi everyone...I am quite overwhelmedPlease stay away from MGTOW and those male-centric sites. I stumbled onto those sites at a young age and actually cried because it was so horrible. It affected my perspective of men for a while. RPW unlike those sites is not about using manipulation or tricks to “land a partner”. Rather it is about how to cultivate a feminine mindset to be a good partner and also feel more fulfilled by a womanly role in a relationship. As someone else commented, to be the best version of yourself. It teaches you… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/08/20 01:01 PM |
| 2 | Newly separated 33 year old. How can I find love again?I’m sorry this has happened to you, and I’m sure you feel very uncertain and afraid. Not sure how it is in Pakistan, but the dating scene is not a nice place if you’re in a bad state, and to be ready for that, you can’t rush things, even if you feel like time is running out. May I suggest you take some time to process what happened, get a counsellor right away to help you through with this process. Maybe read Marry Him: Settling for Mr. Good Enough and The Surrendered Single - don’t just look at… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/07/20 08:18 PM |
| 6 | How do you stay hopeful about dating when hearing story after story of cheating, emotional abuse, violence, stealthing, pathological lying, and porn addiction among many things experienced by women, as a woman?Honestly, it’s one of the hardest things I’ve had to do. At the start of the year I posted about being stranded on an island overseas with no way home, after leaving my then boyfriend who I found out through his slip-up had cheated. It was my second time experiencing this, and I had already spent a lot of effort fixing myself. In a distressed haze, I made a post afterwards about whether there existed men who didn’t cheat, even though I knew the answer I needed reassurance. Lots of men and women … | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/07/20 08:11 AM |
| 2 | I'm pretty uncomfortable to expose my body hair which I think is more than usual and I've been getting anxiety with all the thinking. I think it's because of my hormones but I how do I get stable??Happy to hear that dear. I’m confident that you’re going to be just fine! | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/07/20 11:21 AM |
| 3 | I'm pretty uncomfortable to expose my body hair which I think is more than usual and I've been getting anxiety with all the thinking. I think it's because of my hormones but I how do I get stable??This is a pretty multifaceted problem. You seem to have a few things going on here. One, your self esteem with body hair. Two, the people in your life supposedly closest to you excabating the issue. Thirdly, not knowing if you have an underlying medical condition. Four, the big cultural issue of whether women should have body hair or no — since you didn’t seem to have a problem with yourself before these people in your life made you feel bad about it. In order of handling these, first find out a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/07/20 06:19 AM |
| 9 | Is my dealbreaker justified?Your dealbreakers are up to you, so there’s never a question of whether it’s justified or not. We edit them as we go along, but they’re crafted for you. Re the issue, I’ve never been burnt before either, and have been the kind of girl who kept friendships with exes. As well as had exes who were friends with their exes and it didn’t cause much trouble. However I changed my mind and am including “close friends with exes/regular contact” in my dealbreaker. My reason is simple. In Lauren Doyle’s boo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/07/20 07:54 PM |
| 3 | How to be feminine while you're with a short partner, by societal standards.Nah cmon. In a few years time you’ll see how little these things matter as the pool of quality men willing to date you grows less and less. If he’s secure in his height and you respect him, everything else harpies say would just roll off your back. You can be more feminine by reinforcing that level of respect. What’s a better scenario, your friends making fun of him and you being visibly affected, or you being secure in your choice and unaffected. Also if you are with the kind of friends that ju… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/07/20 08:48 PM |
| 1 | Would you rather be with someone who will provide 100% financial security but not much emotional connection, chemistry, and compatibility, or someone with all that but could not provide TOO well financially?Sharing the same conservative values would be more important to me, our companionship, as well as shared ambition to improve our lives together. Sure a secure life would be good for us and our kids, but it’s fine if we have to suffer together to get there. Situation reversed, if we had 100% financial security and he lost it due to a bad business decision/had to file for bankruptcy etc would be with him all the way. This can’t happen if we aren’t companions/compatible and if he doesn’t see me the… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/07/20 01:48 AM |
| 4 | I gave him an ultimatumIt was a right decision for you to make this ultimatum. You followed your gut and this was a dealbreaker. It’s only immature if you (1) threaten ultimatums you don’t mean for the sake of getting your way or (2) you didn’t plan on following through with the ultimatum. When a low value guy does something “wrong” and they know it, many a time their kneejerk reaction is to make you feel illogical and unreasonable. You may even start to feel like you are the one actually overreacting and at fault. Se… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/07/20 08:17 PM |
| 1 | Turning 26 soonSounds like you’re insecure about present career path and trying to start over to gain more future security. Question is is it worth taking 4 years out for something that can’t be guaranteed? I would suggest you find a way to pivot into whatever you want to do from your current career, while looking into part time qualifications. A high paying future-secure job is nice and you could also get there by doing your own business, but sounds like you have a high paying job now and would be more than f… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/07/20 11:56 PM |
| 1 | Not sure how I feel about himAh. Anxious attachment styles tend to be disinterested in people with secure styles, and attracted to avoidant. Not saying this is your problem, but if you’re missing the exciting anxious feeling from dating someone more aloof, it could be this. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/06/20 07:35 AM |
| 3 | Not sure how I feel about himI don’t think that anyone can comment much on your scenario with accuracy. Only you know yourself best, your past relationship progressions, whether you have a secure/avoidant/anxious attachment style which affects how you process healthy progression, and only you can tune in to your feelings. You asked if it’s normal though to feel unsure after a few dates, and I’d say yes. Men in general fall faster than women. We usually take longer emotionally, it’s evolutionary. What do you mean by “carryin… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/06/20 06:14 PM |
| 1 | Married ladies, what are your husbands like?I don’t think of it as settling, rather being in tune with what I actually need and want in a man. Since married ladies would have more experience on what makes a good partner rather than just superficial traits. Thanks for sharing your story, and definitely I agree on prioritising and compromising in other areas. From reading everyone’s I realised overall I need a man who has a high degree of morals and integrity to trigger that attraction in me. Also, while I may not be particular on attractiv… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/06/20 09:27 AM |
| 1 | Married ladies, what are your husbands like?Hahaha not in a paranormal romance novel. I definitely agree on the spark bit. Thanks, this is exactly the kind of story I felt I was looking for, and that sounds like a fun first date where you guys really connected and he made you feel relaxed. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/06/20 09:21 AM |
| 1 | Married ladies, what are your husbands like?Thanks for sharing! Indeed, refining the checklist to core needs does open more doors perceptually. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/06/20 09:18 AM |
| 3 | how to know if you’re a feminine woman?I found reading the first few chapters of The Way of the Superior Man helped me answer this. Basically it argues that everyone has both feminine and masculine essence that they can use at any time (eg to nurture children or kick corporate ass). For a relationship dynamic to work, it needs to be a balance of yin and yang. So at your core, you need to be more of one type of essence, and your partner more of the opposite. Knowing your essence manifests in how overall you focus your energies. If you… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/06/20 09:15 AM |
| 1 | I'm stuck trying to figure out if I should stay in or leave my marriage and would appreciate the RPW perspectiveHonestly, 1) you sound like you’ve already figured it out and 2) would like to extend a hug - can’t imagine what you’ve gone through! I’m slightly younger than you but share the same fears about being able to find the man of my dreams at a later age, since I have trauma/baggage to fix before dating again and it may take a while. If it’s of any comfort, you sound like you mostly have your shit together, and the issue here is that you’re with the wrong man. Today especially I was feeling really in… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/06/20 01:55 AM |
| 1 | Boyfriend doesn't ask me about my dreams, passions, hobbies, goals etc.Does he expect you to take an interest in him when he talks about the same things? Read up on narcissicists (although he might not be). In any case, I’ve had the same experience and sounded like you when I was trying to make excuses to justify his behaviour. The “but he demonstrated he likes and respects me in all these other ways” sounds familiar. Some guys do the bare minimum to keep you around. A way to describe it is a lab test done on rats - rats get more excitement when they push a button … | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/06/20 01:27 AM |
| 2 | Recognizing your own red flagsYeah not planning to share, just preparing a short reply in case they do. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/06/20 04:11 PM |
| 7 | Recognizing your own red flagsI love your reply. I have baggage from dating two philanderers/cheaters twice and this is also the conclusion I came to. Currently in the financial standing stage and working two jobs too. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/06/20 03:33 PM |
| 8 | Am I just a practice girl?I second it sounds like you were taken advantage of, but I’d like to add not to beat yourself up over it. At 19, you lack the experience to internalise that there could be a number of reasons other than “being a practice girl”. You’d probably never find out the actual reason, but if you get hung up over this mistake you may find it hard to recover and this may affect how you move forward. As hard as it is to, try as best as you can to stop dwelling. Right now your priority is to learn more about… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/06/20 04:17 PM |
| 3 | The only binding factor was loyalty, that is damaged now.Of course it is justified, dear. We don’t have to beat ourselves up for past mistakes we made when we were young and inexperienced. Right now, you are just protecting yourself because you realised you gave your precious submission away to someone who does not value it. In taking a stand though, you need to be aware of the backlash. He’s not going to be happy and might even threaten to leave. At the end of the day, you have to decide for yourself who you are, what your boundaries are, and what yo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/06/20 10:57 AM |
| 3 | The only binding factor was loyalty, that is damaged now.So you want a godly man and he places his desires before God. Being denied a sexual act is not the same thing as being denied basic rights worthy of committing suicide for. You’re being tricked and guilt tripped. Eventually he will find a way to crack you because he knows how to push your buttons until you give in, and doesn’t respect your boundaries when it comes to religion. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean they are good for you. You may respect him, but does he respect you? Lots of … | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/06/20 10:09 AM |
| 3 | The only binding factor was loyalty, that is damaged now.Your situation is a tough one considering Islam and associated communities in general from what I know are less forgiving than other religious communities with regard to premarital intimacy. Correct me if I were wrong but it’d probably be much harder to find another partner if they were to find out about your non-halal actions. Your dating pool if you leave this relationship is considerably narrowed. First of all you’re on the RPW sub. We are submissive women in relationships and work towards be… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/06/20 05:44 AM |
| 1 | Things to have together before dating for a RP womanSearch the forum, you’d find plenty more qualified tips :) you should especially find a great post in the sidebar. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/06/20 05:01 AM |
| 3 | I (22 F) Need to Be Smacked Around a Little“I need to be reminded that logically this did not align with my goals.” Practice makes perfect and it’s good you’re harsh on yourself. Getting entangled with someone whom you know is not good for you will only result in trauma and baggage. Also, this guy is a successful Chad going after a girl much younger than him. While it might make you feel important and special, imagine the dialogue going on in his head as he uses his experiences to manipulate you towards this exact response you’re now hav… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/06/20 05:24 AM |
| 3 | Getting to the ring in less than a year and a halfReally happy to read this. Congrats. May I know how you brought up your expectations on when to get married “the talk” after months? | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/06/20 05:05 AM |
| 8 | Getting to the ring in less than a year and a halfMen who travel and want to explore the world are not commitment friendly. It’s good that you realised this. In the future do not be intimate until you are sure both of you are on the same page - but it’s college so don’t beat yourself up over it. Now you know what to avoid. Commitment friendly men are usually older and already more or less know what they want. There’s no specific place for meeting commitment friendly men (you can search the forum for some pretty good suggestions though). You mee… | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/06/20 05:03 AM |
| 3 | Things to have together before dating for a RP womanHaving boundaries is how a woman protects herself. Dealbreakers is how you know what you will not stand for or what is incompatible with your values (e.g. he regularly goes to the clubs) as opposed to looking out for a list of criteria a man has to have in order to date them. Boundaries being disrespected is not the same thing as not being adaptable. If you set a boundary (“no, I prefer to know someone better before having sex”, “no, I need to be more comfortable before coming to your place”) an… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/05/20 02:28 AM |
| 1 | How do I progress?I was like you with the same thinking and placed a lot of importance on sexual count (I have my whole life). Like you, I also waited and was careful but I picked really incompatible men. The simple conclusion is that you can do everything right, but still be unable to control this aspect because it involves another person. Placing so much importance on this will leave you more likely to be clouded in the vetting process, since you’re hyperfocused on the goal of getting hitched to the next man yo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/05/20 01:54 PM |
| 3 | Things to have together before dating for a RP womanhttp://www.therulesrevisited.com/2011/09/feminine-beauty-is-highly-controllable.html There you go. Most controllable + important are weight, hair, makeup, fit of clothes and teeth. Don’t forget to neglect RMV, SMV without RMV is nothing. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/05/20 03:25 AM |
| 2 | Things to have together before dating for a RP womanOh wow, thanks! I stumbled onto here two years ago and never thought it’d alter my approach to life so much. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/05/20 03:14 AM |
| 6 | Things to have together before dating for a RP womanI added a disclaimer at the end to explain. This is all advice pulled from the entirety of the forum. The basis is that the more you work on yourself, the higher value partner you’ll attract. It’s true women have limited fertility and time is constantly ticking, hence the importance to start getting your shit together while young. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/05/20 05:01 PM |
| 8 | Things to have together before dating for a RP womanI rewrote it with a disclaimer at the end. You’re right that some of the things on the list are less important than others and can be worked on in a relationship. I agree with girlwithabike that the level of baggage you have means you’re more likely to attract someone with similar baggage. That has been my experience as well. You are who you attract. You don’t have to clear all your trauma obviously, just reach a level where you have a method to control it more than it controls you. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/05/20 04:56 PM |
| 4 | Things to have together before dating for a RP womanWell I’m not there yet either but working towards it. I’ve also struggled with anxiety and depression but made significant progress over the years. Now I am dealing with residue trauma on top of depression so I understand how hard it can be. Generally I wrote the list not to say “don’t date if you’re not these things” but more of “this is the best place we can be in as single women, before dating”. To feel empowered and to believe in yourself. It’s great your finances are solid because mine aren… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/05/20 04:34 PM |
| 1 | Redpill or just abusive? need female perspectiveYou already had a gut feeling and knew the answer, and just wanted to confirm it. A submissive woman is always a good target, because she always looks inwards at what she could be doing better in all situations. Right now you’re questioning if he is abusive. What are the alternatives? Maybe you’re doubting your own judgement or thinking that you’re overly sensitive. The fact that you’ve posted here with the term abusive shows you already know. You should trust yourself. Any man however alpha who… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/05/20 05:27 PM |
| 1 | Should I go to college and have a career?Ya this really helped me. Thank you <3 | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/05/20 05:50 PM |
| 1 | Should I go to college and have a career?Thanks for sharing. How did you manage to juggle between first baby and studies? Do you regret not staying at home with her and sending her to daycare? And what did your husband think of you studying while having a baby? | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/05/20 05:21 PM |
| 43 | How often should a woman initiate sex?Wear his favourite perfume and wear it only each time you want sex, and tell him you put it on just for him. When you kiss when he comes home he will smell it and know. That’s the most feminine way. I have a high libido so I tend to be very direct and just say I want you. Sometimes I just take off my clothes when he’s not looking. To be honest it’s fun to come up with various ways to initiate and it’s one of my favorite bits of a relationship. The look on all my exes’ face is priceless especiall… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/05/20 12:59 PM |
| 1 | Should I go to college and have a career?May I ask at what age you had children? I’m considering doing a masters but am afraid I have children to consider | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/05/20 12:21 PM |
| 1 | Curious who’s read « Marry Him » and what you thinkThe book corrects women’s perception and redefines what an ideal man is. Semantically “settling” is the wrong word. It’s more like taking into account the qualities of men beyond the superficial and learning to value them. I don’t see how this book hurts men. Women are not like men. We are not visual creatures. Attraction and love can come from a dose of respect from knowing which qualities to admire and look out for, that are right for our personalities. Personally as someone who has been scald… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/05/20 12:18 PM |
| 8 | Boyfriend extremely distant and cold after sexHe knew asking to be in a relationship with you is how to get sex from you. The biggest tell is after you have sex how they treat you. Mine went to sleep without holding me. Turned out to be a narcissistic cheater. The ones who liked me held me, asked if I was okay, made intimate conversation, and offered water. If he liked you he would want to make you feel safe. This is just the beginning of the relationship and already you’re thankful for 3 hours of time AFTER YOU ASKED. Imagine how the later… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/05/20 12:05 PM |
| – | Own Your StuffI consciously spent little time on social media and started a new skin routine. Read multiple books on dealing with trauma. Redecorated my room and dress up at home to feel more feminine. Suffering from insomnia but am working through it with meditation and healthy practices. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/05/20 11:40 AM |
| 6 | I’m snarky, fast to react and very facially expressive, and it’s ruining my relationship.This was my first thought as well | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/05/20 09:38 PM |
| 3 | How can I make my man more “alpha”?Hi because this is at the top comment, I would like to add that OP left out in her post that her partner has addiction issues and gets abusive once he drinks, which is why he’s in therapy. She has allegedly tried to get him to quit at least 10 times. He also demonstrates anger issues that are frankly a little concerning. This is somewhere in the comments below and is important info toward the advice people are giving. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/05/20 09:21 PM |
| 3 | How can I make my man more “alpha”?I’m sorry you are going through this babe. It sounds like you have quite a lot on your plate at the moment. I also just left a relationship recently and am in self-improvement mode, it’s definitely not easy to put in the work and start over again. If at the end of the day though it makes you a happier person, it’ll be worth it. Don’t despair so much, this time next year you will probably be in a much better place. Also if you’re going to leave this guy and he’s abusive like you say when he gets … | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/05/20 04:17 PM |
| 5 | How can I make my man more “alpha”?You should mention this in your original post. Not feeling passion for a man because of certain undesirable traits is not the same thing as having to police addiction and anger issues. This is a dealbreaker for most and just because you have had baggage yourself doesn’t mean you deserve someone who has issues. Being more feminine can’t fix these issues. Thing is, like the other comments have said, have you worked through your own issues first and foremost? It’s hard to sort through someone’s dis… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/05/20 02:39 PM |
| 6 | How can I make my man more “alpha”?Read “Marry Him - Settling for Mr Good Enough”. The premise is based on that “alpha” guys who make you feel all tingly do not necessarily have traits to keep a long term relationship alive. It also touches on some things you’re hung up on and could help reframe your mindset on what is really important. Do you have “good enough” or do you just want more? Is there something wrong with him or is it not just who you imagined settling down with? Submission and femininity are essentially mindsets. A b… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/05/20 06:25 AM |
| 5 | Just a tip on virginityCan definitely relate to this and I made the same mistake actually. After losing my virginity, I slept with someone I wasn’t in a r/s with because I wanted to remove its importance. It didn’t work. What worked was therapy. Should definitely not beat yourself up over it. I’ve come to the conclusion that a lot of the value we place on virginity has to do with upbringing, which is out of our control. It’s still hard for me to detach from it and I still go back to that day, but I remind myself that … | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/05/20 08:21 PM |
| 1 | How can I learn how to be more graceful in movement/carry myself better?Can Pilates help with sensuality? | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/05/20 02:32 PM |
| 3 | Situation with my roommateYou broke up with your beta ex. This is now your first time vetting for a Captain, so be sure your vetting process is in order. Don’t fall into the trap of mistaking masculinity, charisma or strength for good Captain material. Those stuff make you feel tingly but a good Captain may not make you feel tingly at first. None of those stuff you listed are Captain traits and it sounds like you’re trying hard to make him fit. Generally a red flag is in how he treats women. If a man has such an opinion … | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/05/20 05:16 AM |
| 5 | My Boyfriend wants to take a trip with another girlYour answer is in your post actually. You posted “why is he so desperate to take a trip with this girl?” and “why can’t he find a guy to do this with?” It’s been eight months. He should have had a sense of who you are by now and that you wouldn’t be okay with this. He knew that you would not “okay” the decision, hence he told you directly that it was happening rather than asking you. I was in a similar situation except that he hid it. When I found out, he turned on me to make it seem like I was … | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/05/20 09:05 PM |
| 1 | Lifting for fat complete beginnersGet a personal trainer online to craft a plan for you and explain the basics. Or if you’re strapped for cash, read up on how basic nutrition works and just get 1-2 PT consultations to have a plan. Nutrition plays a big role in muscle building. Muscle building increases your metabolism, which is how fat loss begins. You need two things for success: consistency in doing the exercises and proper nutrition. Results can be as obvious as in one to three months. If you don’t see results, either one of … | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/05/20 08:11 PM |
| 11 | Help With Feeling UglyHey, you’re not alone! As I discovered RP and started working on myself I began seeing a lot of flaws too. It helps me to put more effort into inner self care rather than just outer. Positive affirmations, meditating and the like. But just know you’re not alone and take pride in your self improvement attitude. A RP woman doesn’t mean a perfect woman. And perfection can’t be attained anyway, because If you’re constantly improving yourself, you’ll always find things to do better at. Doesn’t mean t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/05/20 06:10 PM |
| 2 | How do I adjust my dating strategy when I make six figures?This is definitely helpful and I’m relieved to know I’m not the only one who’s going through/gone through similar thought processes. Thank you <3 | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/04/20 01:50 PM |
| 3 | How do I adjust my dating strategy when I make six figures?Hi I really like your advice to OP and it seems that you speak from experience. I’m also planning my presentation (either in red life/online) from when I come out from nun mode. My profile is similar to OP, except that I’m younger. I want to be as honest as I can, so while I do have feminine hobbies and am family oriented and want to be a homemaker, I’m not sure how to present my masculine interests. I have a lot of them and am rather adventurous in that regard. I don’t need a partner who shares… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/04/20 06:46 PM |
| 10 | Protective of my independence & it’s impacting my dating lifeI don’t think the “safe space” he talked about should be taken as a good thing. That basically means you were a placeholder girlfriend that he never intended to settle down with. But maybe it didn’t affect you because you weren’t emotionally attached? There’s a difference between valuing independence/space in a partner, and valuing leading two separate lives altogether without consideration for the relationship. You’re on the RPW forum, which means that you acknowledge that you might like to sec… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/04/20 01:34 PM |
| 9 | I am in an unethical relationship with someone I really like. What can I do?You didn’t come here for this, but this smells like bullshit perpetuated by the belief that rare chemistry > actions. Look at this guy’s actions. Let’s say he really felt the same chemistry, you’re the one in a thousand type of woman for him and he would like to explore a relationship with you. Let’s say he’s a relatively decent man. What would he do? He would treat you with respect. He would want to start things on the right grounds and express this to you in some way. NOT flirt with you secret… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/04/20 06:38 AM |
| 2 | Anxiety wearing dresses, skirts ect... Any advice? (Plus size)I used to feel so exposed and uncomfortable wearing sleeveless clothes/leg revealing. And I was skinny. In some ways clothing can feel like a blanket protecting us from what we don’t want others to see. But your issue is probably not with your body, but with self love and the ability to self-soothe no matter what others say. If you wear a dress outside now, the wrong look from a stranger, even if it’s not actually about you, will cause you to crumble. I found as I grew in confidence with my own … | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/04/20 06:27 AM |
| 10 | Protective of my independence & it’s impacting my dating lifeLook into attachment styles - you may have avoidant or anxious-avoidant attachment from the sparse info you have written about needing to withdraw when you feel suffocated. Instead you pick men who are unavailable themselves, and perhaps mirror the familial figures in childhood. The good news is attachment styles can be fixed to become more secure if you’re aware of it. Besides reading up, practicing and therapy, I’ve found it has helped to look at the long term friendships in my life. Maybe you… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/04/20 06:20 AM |
| 11 | Boyfriend [30M] is accusing me [29F] of riding the cock carousel…This is kind of a red flag to be honest. It shows a) what he really thinks of you - if so then why is he with you? or b) he’s projecting his own behaviour in attempt to bring down your self esteem/make you ok with other behaviours either now or in the future. Remember, your instinctive reaction to being accused by someone you care about and who has otherwise been nice to you, ESPECIALLY if you have maternal instinct, is to do everything you can to reassure/convince him you have not been riding t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/04/20 06:00 AM |
| 4 | Laser hair removalWow that’s definitely less than I expected. Really seems worth it from your post! | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/04/20 04:25 PM |
| 3 | Laser hair removalHow much did it cost in total roughly? If you’re ok to share. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/04/20 04:09 PM |
| 1 | Should I have sex with him or talk about my insecurities first?Thanks. This guy ended up cheating on me. Turns out when I typed this he was cheating, so my gut was correct. I definitely understand this advice now. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/03/20 01:28 PM |
| 8 | Being a virgin at 18 and social pressureFirstly, I shared my story to encourage OP to follow her own beliefs, which also includes her own personal feelings. My story shows someone who went against their own beliefs, because I thought I “needed” experience. To a person who places so much importance on sex, they can’t really conflate making a pragmatic decision and the “sacredness” of giving themselves to someone. They will simply feel bad afterwards. Thirdly, you are one of the people trying to sway OP against her beliefs. She came on … | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/03/20 05:15 PM |
| 20 | Being a virgin at 18 and social pressureThe point is she should stick to what she believes in and not feel pressured by external sources. Eg “testing sexual compatibility before marriage”. Marriage isn’t foolproof. But it is the ultimate pledge of commitment a guy can give a lady. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/03/20 02:21 PM |
| 3 | Being a virgin at 18 and social pressureYeah exactly. I get the kink bit too and have a high libido. Don’t experiment. It’s not worth it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/03/20 09:28 AM |
| 76 | Being a virgin at 18 and social pressureI remember when I was 18 and had your beliefs. It was very important to me that I had sex after marriage. Over time I let people talk me out of it and it cast doubts on my mind. Suddenly my belief seemed stupider and stupider. I had a boyfriend whom I loved. After a year together and pressuring, I decided to have sex with him because I loved him and it seemed pretty clear we were going to marry. For some reason we couldn’t get it in and I always believed it was my fault, that it was because I wa… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/03/20 06:18 AM |
| -2 | Curious to hear people’s strategies in responding to pushy/ forward attempts at sexual escalation?I feel like non pushy men don’t exist, unless they are very unattractive or not religious. But then I state up front I’m conservative but they still push and it disgusts me. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/03/20 08:04 AM |
| 4 | Curious to hear people’s strategies in responding to pushy/ forward attempts at sexual escalation?If they accept the boundaries, do I still leave or hightail out of there? All my experiences have been with extremely pushy men. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/03/20 02:41 AM |
| 8 | When men pull awayIf you guys are dating, even if not exclusive, two weeks is overkill. This person is not interested in you, which you already know in your gut. The good thing is him by not ending things properly is a win for you. Shows his true character. You don’t want to be with someone like that. If he ever responds back it will be to string you along, unless he (without prompting) gives you some legitimate serious reason or sounds earnest. Else, don’t waste anymore time. Some people are just assholes and pr… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/03/20 02:40 PM |
| 45 | When men pull awaySo I’ve had someone I was dating pull away and I’ve scoured the internet for clues, articles etc. including rpw. My conclusion is this. Trust your gut. Yeah sometimes men need time away especially if you guys have been dating for a while. But sudden distance after a stream of consistency? Observe his reaction when he returns. Does he give you an explanation without being prompted? Does he show in any way he cares about your feelings? While you should feel secure in yourself as your own independe… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/03/20 10:27 AM |
| 2 | Boyfriend left me :(Trash expressed his desire for “dangerous women” because apparently OP is too “soft” | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/03/20 09:02 PM |
| 1 | How important is sex, really?Thank you kindly for the well wishes. Much appreciated! I hope it works out for you as well and you will be happy <3 | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/03/20 05:57 PM |
| 1 | Boyfriend left me :(Was about to flag you to remove that trashy comment. Thank you. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/03/20 05:50 PM |
| 1 | I’m 17 years old and terrified of the future dating holdsHi I’m in my early mid 20s and while I started out conservative (I waited a year for me and my first boyfriend to have sex), I have had bad experiences in picking men. These are some things I wish my mom or a female figure in my life had told me. (1) Definitely focusing on discovering yourself and building inner happiness/identity separate from anyone. Your happiness should come from within, so that no matter what challenges or unfortunate circumstances you have in life, you’ll be strong, have f… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/03/20 09:46 AM |
| 83 | Was dating a guy and found out he committed to someone else but didn’t tell meYes. Likely the girl slept with him, or demanded he “committed” before sleeping with him. Either way you know 1) He doesn’t see her as higher value because he’s messing around with you trying to step on two boats at the same time 2) He is clearly not Captain material. Congrats to you for not sleeping with him and dodging a bullet. You’ve lost nothing except time. This is not an ambiguous case. You posted this because you’re angry. Learn to vet better since you almost slept with this joker. And d… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/02/20 05:22 AM |
| 5 | How important is sex, really?So I’ve spent the last few years asking myself the same question. I’m around your age, submissive both vanilla-wise and also have niche kinks. An ex asked me to dom him, and I enjoyed it despite being primarily submissive. Basically the submissive dynamic is definitely something I need, while being dominant is something I can give up. I also consider myself fairly conservative and redpilled (I do my best to vet for months before having sex). We sound similar but the situations we are in are diff… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/02/20 07:55 PM |
| 1 | Why would my boyfriend cheat on me with a much older woman?Sorry that you had to go through this. I recently was cheated on. There are only two answers. One, you didn’t vet well enough. Two, the relationship was not going well. Either way it hurts. I suggest you use aspects of RPW as a way to boost your self esteem and make yourself higher value. Also, fix your picker. | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/02/20 06:59 AM |
| 1 | For Women Who Want to Be Stay At Home MomsI WOULD USE SOMETHING LIKE this | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/02/20 07:57 PM |
| 19 | Super secret tip to discovering he has feelings for youDated a sociopath. Can confirm. | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/02/20 09:01 PM |
| 3 | How soon do you think is too soon to spend the night in a new relationship?Agree. My ex started pushing for sex and being more aggressive the moment we slept in the same bed. He tried nearly every day. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/02/20 05:23 PM |
| 8 | How soon do you think is too soon to spend the night in a new relationship?Was in LDR, new relationship too. Don’t sleep with the guy until you’ve spent enough time IN PERSON with him. It doesn’t matter if you’ve spent two weeks having an intense experience, if you still don’t have a good grasp of his character. You should feel safe and secure about the relationship. But also it’s very easy to hide your bad sides in a LDR, and hence harder to vet. You need to vet by looking concretely at actions, not promises or words. So things lkke if he says he will call you by X ti… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/02/20 05:13 AM |
| 2 | Day 3 post break upI didn’t read your other posts but seems like you were a plate. I’ve only been through one relationship after adopting rpw. And my mistake is confusing “nagging” and “stfu” with expressing my needs and desires. Asking to spend more time - it should not be as burdensome as you describe it. A guy who likes you will spend and initiate spending time with you no matter how busy he is. Like you, I thought I was nagging and tried to stfu when reality he didn’t want to spend time wirh me because he was … | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/02/20 10:52 AM |
| 4 | It’s overSo proud of you. Well done. I also broke up with my ex in an emotionally devastating situation one month ago. You will definitely need your friends, and also exercise daily helps. I’m glad you had the strength to leave, you are valuable as a RPW. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/02/20 02:47 AM |
| – | Monthly GoalsSleep better. Stick to my exercise and nutrition schedule. Keep my room tidy, beautiful and clean. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/02/20 07:37 AM |
| 2 | Sharing recipes that were a hit!This post makes me so happy, thank you for sharing! | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/01/20 02:14 PM |
| 2 | Are there really men who don’t cheat or who strive not to?Hi thanks for typing this, vetting for integrity is something I concluded as well. The first cheater fell under the second category and the most recent one was a narcissicist - we were long distance in the early stages so he was able to keep his mask on. | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/01/20 04:04 AM |
| 1 | Question about graceful exitingThank you. This takes some of the anger away. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/01/20 04:07 AM |
| 3 | Question about graceful exitingThat last statement is well said. I ended up moping and crying my eyes out after finding out my ex cheated and broke up with him. But 2 weeks later at least outwardly pulled myself together and acted cheerful. Never contacted him again. Hope it’s not too late. Really wasn’t able to control myself the first 3 days when I found out. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/01/20 06:20 PM |
| 9 | Are there really men who don’t cheat or who strive not to?This is scarily accurate because now I realise he’s very socially skilled but tends to talk badly to me about the same people he’s publicly chummy with. I definitely did not do a thorough enough vetting for integrity. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/01/20 06:51 PM |
| 2 | Are there really men who don’t cheat or who strive not to?Thank you so much for even bothering to read and comment defailedly though. Please feel free to be direct if need be. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/01/20 03:58 PM |
| 3 | Are there really men who don’t cheat or who strive not to?I only date down in terms of SMV, which for me isn’t that important in a guy but I know my SMV is important to a guy hence I mention any numbers at all. I’ve been attracted to these guys because of their ambitious self-starter personalities. They’re not wildly successful but they have potential to be/make an impact. I just feel proud being first mate to someone with a goal to save the world | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/01/20 03:55 PM |
| 2 | Are there really men who don’t cheat or who strive not to?Hi, thanks for your thoughtful reply. Sorry - by narc I mean narcissicist. Someone on this forum introduced me to this term on another post. It is relevant in the sense that the manipulation and lies involved affected my vetting process, but I didn’t know the red flags at that time. I was only looking at red flags I had read on this forum. Addressing the SMV and RMV issue, honestly I’ve always thought SMV was more of an issue for me in competing. Because I’ve been praised in all relationships fo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/01/20 03:46 PM |
| 3 | Are there really men who don’t cheat or who strive not to?Hi thanks for replying, both times the guys said we were exclusive and committed and fought with orher guys interested to “win” me, so this adds to the confusion . What would you say is the kind of girl you look for, for a guy with such firm morals and commitment to your girl? I would want to portray myself correctly to this type of guy. If you have time and willingness to answer, of course. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/01/20 10:58 AM |
| 1 | Are there really men who don’t cheat or who strive not to?5 and 6 in terms of looks. But they’re usually socially charming, self-starters, ambitious and career successful. They can get girls by talking and making them feel special. I realise the last two guys i was with was similar in this sense. They also work out so they have nice bodies, though my friends did remark they weren’t good looking. I evaluate myself as 7 or 8 because i get hit on near daily in terms of looks by guys much better looking than me, and also 5’s and 6’s. I can’t evaluate my ow… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/01/20 07:25 AM |
| 13 | I want to make him feel like a man, but I act like a boy.I second this, but my judgement may be clouded. I was recently cheated on in a LDR and the guy sounds similar to what you described. If you started the relationship just recently, this guy barely knows you. Him telling you he loves you daily and so early on sounds like love bombing. This is a big red flag that I ignored earlier on. He may just be doing what it takes to keep you around while he fucks other women behind your back. Trust actions, not words. You do a lot for him, what does he do for… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/01/20 04:56 AM |
| 1 | Cheated on after my first relationship post-RPW. Emotionally distressed. Need advice on best way to recover. Please help me.Thank you. The last couple of days have been a lot of pain. When I was on the island I was hysterically crying and now when I'm back I can't cry at all, but occasionally when I'm eating or doing something normal a tear would come down my cheek. It's strange. I know I will be fine eventually, but it's going to take a lot of work and time. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/01/20 08:28 AM |
| 4 | [Advice] Mean girl at work, also how not to become the older bitter woman?Girls like this are insecure because they only have their looks fo rely on, and they know it. She’s probably jealous of you for all the things she can never be. One day her looks will fade and she won’t be able to do this anymore, leaving her with absolutely nothing. Channel your feelings of insecurity into feelings of sympathy for her. This way you’ll continue to be kind and it’ll put you in a higher position than her. Treat her like a mistreated puppy that needs kindness and loving. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/01/20 10:16 PM |
| 2 | Cheated on after my first relationship post-RPW. Emotionally distressed. Need advice on best way to recover. Please help me.❤️ I’ll trust in my instinct from now. At least from this instance I learnt that after having being cheated on the first time, I’m ready to have 100% trust and adoration for a man again. It feels good to know it is possible, and this having hurt the most, I think moving forward should be easier. Wishing you a good day! | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/01/20 10:07 PM |
| 3 | Cheated on after my first relationship post-RPW. Emotionally distressed. Need advice on best way to recover. Please help me.Thank you this is very easy to follow <3 Hehe I actually planned to adopt a kitty. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/01/20 06:35 PM |
| 2 | Cheated on after my first relationship post-RPW. Emotionally distressed. Need advice on best way to recover. Please help me.I am grateful for your incredibly thoughtful response. Yes, I immediately booked a session with my therapist an hour after I found out he cheated. I can suggest working on what I might have missed to her. What felt off was that I didn’t feel safe with him and was often insecure. I think the first “off” was what I now recognise as love bombing, declaring I’m his soulmate and joking about all kinds of proposals early on in the beginning. The second “off” was when I mailed him the handmade gift for… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/01/20 06:32 PM |
| 1 | Cheated on after my first relationship post-RPW. Emotionally distressed. Need advice on best way to recover. Please help me.Following this now. Fantastic. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/01/20 06:12 PM |
| 2 | Cheated on after my first relationship post-RPW. Emotionally distressed. Need advice on best way to recover. Please help me.It’ll actually be good to hear the nastier version too tbh. Because I knew this was at stake from the start, I just thought the person and experiences were more special. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/01/20 06:11 PM |
| 2 | Cheated on after my first relationship post-RPW. Emotionally distressed. Need advice on best way to recover. Please help me.Hi first of all thank you for taking the time to reply. WiFi on the island is crappy and I am subject to it hence only reading this now. I did read up on narcissism and suspected - but in another post someone adviced me against reading such articles while dating, because it will drive me crazy. So I’m conflicted on this point. Think I should learn to trust my gut. Amen. Yeah, my father and I are close. I am lucky. Perhaps I should find more. But father figure types no matter the age gap tend to … | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/01/20 06:10 PM |
| 2 | Cheated on after my first relationship post-RPW. Emotionally distressed. Need advice on best way to recover. Please help me.Hi, thank you for taking the time to reply. I am still on the island so very crappy wifi. Right, that’s actually a very obvious point I didn’t realize - but it makes sense now why I’ve been posting so often on RPW and also seeking the advices of close friends for every little action. Yes, I intend to go for a spa tomorrow or something. Cocktail and beach is a more affordable idea too. Yup I understand this and don’t hate men, that’s why I want to recover efficiently and not be affected by this T… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/01/20 06:06 PM |
| 8 | Cheated on after my first relationship post-RPW. Emotionally distressed. Need advice on best way to recover. Please help me.PLEASE HELP IM ALONE | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/01/20 09:37 PM |
| 1 | Should I have sex with him or talk about my insecurities first?I’m trying to rationalize it as him being really busy - Master’s student, full time job, active social life. If I consider that then I’m pretty high priority, but I’m not sure if I can take this kind of lifestyle. He talks about marrying me but yeah I will have to discuss it in detail with him. I also wonder why such a busy guy like him chooses not to have casual sex | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/12/19 03:06 PM |
| 2 | What are some tips to be a better listener when your man talks?😂 I could listen to you rant about that | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/12/19 01:17 AM |
| 2 | What are some tips to be a better listener when your man talks?Interesting. So by this you mean ask questions instead of giving answers? | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/12/19 03:25 PM |
| 5 | What are some tips to be a better listener when your man talks?Thanks for answering. Well yes I guess unless I’m responding in some way that I think is useful to him, I will feel useless. Just like how if I confide in a friend and they listen but don’t give any insight, I would have felt it pretty pointless? Apparently from the other comment maybe this isn’t what men want though. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/12/19 03:24 PM |
| 1 | Exclusive FWB’s?Run from this man. He just wants you for sex and nothing else. Don’t buy into such “exclusivity” especially since you haven’t had sex and stop sending him nudes. Sexual exclusivity is not a commitment or relationship, it just means he has access to the most valuable thing you have to offer without having to deal with your emotions. You get relationship commitment before you sleep with someone, as I have also recently learnt - sex won’t make them like you more or get you where you want to go. And… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/12/19 05:45 AM |
| 1 | Did you improve your marriage/relationship by becoming more submissive?Hiya, whose submissive books did you read? Could you recommend some? Thank you :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/12/19 03:50 AM |
| 3 | Should I have sex with him or talk about my insecurities first?I don’t even text him to begin with. He initiates first usually. I respond positively. If I suddenly stop responding it will be clear that it’s a shit test. He just sent me a video chat but it feels hollow and he didn’t even reassure me. Maybe I’ll call or just wait till he is in my country in a couple more days | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/12/19 04:11 AM |
| 1 | Should I have sex with him or talk about my insecurities first?He tells me he loves me. Feels like he’s losing interest yeah. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/12/19 02:42 AM |
| 2 | Should I have sex with him or talk about my insecurities first?I just messaged him briefly that I miss him because he didn’t respond to my text. He read it but didn’t reply. I feel so crazy because he didn’t treat me this way for the whole year I’ve known him. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/12/19 02:40 AM |
| 1 | Should I have sex with him or talk about my insecurities first?Is it normal for a man to act this way in a relationship and still love you? | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/12/19 02:29 AM |
| 3 | Should I have sex with him or talk about my insecurities first?Thanks this is a good rule of thumb | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/12/19 09:23 PM |
| 1 | Should I have sex with him or talk about my insecurities first?He’s introduced me to his closest friend. I would consider coming to my country to spend the holidays with me going out of the way, since I didn’t want to leave my family for Christmas. But that’s about it. He doesn’t spend time with me when he could, that’s the biggest thing that’s making me insecure. No scheduling calls in advance, just when he fancies. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/12/19 06:44 PM |
| 3 | Should I have sex with him or talk about my insecurities first?<3 Can’t thank you enough for making me feel less irrational about feeling insecure. I thought I was just hamstering and felt bad about not stfu-ing. Wishing you a good day ahead! | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/12/19 05:58 PM |
| 3 | Should I have sex with him or talk about my insecurities first?This sounds wise. Thank you for reassuring me that insecurities are okay. I thought they may have been a problem with me. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/12/19 05:06 PM |
| 2 | Should I have sex with him or talk about my insecurities first?Thank you. He does check off many boxes towards commitment, it’s just that his behavior has changed lately. He says the relationship is exclusive but he doesn’t really initiate spending time with me. Unfortunately I can’t not have sex before marriage moving forward, because I gave it to my first boyfriend after waiting 2 years and my second boyfriend after waiting 2 months. They were both pre-RPW, but I’m getting worried about my count. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/12/19 05:05 PM |
| 2 | Should I have sex with him or talk about my insecurities first?Because I thought maybe since he’s a guy he’s not fully investing in me because he isn’t sure of sexual compatibility.. How might I bring up this talk without sounding like I’m withholding or negotiating with sex? | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/12/19 05:03 PM |
| 4 | Should I have sex with him or talk about my insecurities first?Thank you. | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/12/19 05:01 PM |
| 2 | Should I have sex with him or talk about my insecurities first?Thank you for the advice. Do you know how I might bring up the future, since that’s a lot of pressure on the guy and usually the guy is the one who brings it up? | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/12/19 04:58 PM |
| 3 | I hate this regret so muchHi love, you just described the exact situation I was in, except the guy I lost my virginity to cheated on me and the next guy I slept with was solely for the purpose for me to detach sex with how important it meant to me. I completely relate to the despair you feel from breaking your morals, and even though it’s been a few years and I’ve been through nun mode, it’s something that still makes me sad from time to time. One thing that helps me is that you have to remember it was your first relatio… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/12/19 05:09 AM |
| 2 | Thoughtful but slightly expensive first gift for my (24m) boyfriend (27m)You don’t think 4 months is short/still could be infatuation stage? Just curious where the benchmark is. | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/11/19 01:45 AM |
| 1 | Thoughtful but slightly expensive first gift for my (24m) boyfriend (27m)Oh dear I would be so mortified if I was the woman . Decided to go with the handmade gift anyway. Thank you! | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/11/19 09:54 AM |
| 1 | Thoughtful but slightly expensive first gift for my (24m) boyfriend (27m)Thank you :) I decided to go with the handmade gift to convey my “lovey dovey” emotions. Like another user said the tech gift can be for Christmas, but good to know that $80 won’t be overwhelming | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/11/19 09:54 AM |
| 1 | Thoughtful but slightly expensive first gift for my (24m) boyfriend (27m)Thank you :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/11/19 09:52 AM |
| 3 | Thoughtful but slightly expensive first gift for my (24m) boyfriend (27m)Thank you :D I forgot Xmas was also coming up. This is great! | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/11/19 09:52 AM |
| 1 | Found out I was seeing a guy with a girlfriend... I feel low valueThis girl was 17 though. Which of us has their life together at 17? I agree with the advice but this was quite harsh imo. I only discovered trp at 22 | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/11/19 02:04 AM |
| 1 | A situation with new guy, need advice especially from Chinese/Asian womenYup. Asian dating another asian from another culture. Work is #1 and this is definitely a thing. He hates it, so be his soft pillow to land on and be understanding, he will be more affectionate with you and make time for you. Definitely stfu if it’s about work. I know sometimes it may feel trrrible especially right after sex but work is #1 for these men, but also they will take care of you. My boyfriend apologizes to me when he has to take a call while we are on a date, but then focuses the rest… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/11/19 06:37 AM |
| 1 | I love red pill, but...Geek groups? Try meetup. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/11/19 01:36 PM |
| 1 | I no longer have trust in menThank you, this is one of the kindest answers. I wasn't sure actually how open "normal" people would be to exploring kink. My assumption was if I dumped it on them when they were invested that would be dishonest, and I actually need it as a lifestyle rather than just in the bedroom. If they explored and it didn't work for them, that would be them paying relationship tax to keep it going, and I would have increased my N count. That was the whole consideration behind mentioning that I'm into a D/s… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/03/19 07:41 PM |
| 3 | Rant on why I’m joining the “dark side” and going full red pill and it’s really silly.Doesn't take away that she's the victim and he deserves to be fired. Maybe consider that her bearing the burden of leaving to avoid lack of professionalism is some responsibility. She's not a victim because she's a woman as you are so adamant on here. She's a victim because she was outed. You're projecting your own views of women always playing the victim onto this situation, so we are viewing this from different standpoints. In any case this will be my last correspondence to you. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/03/19 07:34 PM |
| 3 | Rant on why I’m joining the “dark side” and going full red pill and it’s really silly.I agree on the point that she should have stood her ground if she had the guts to post it on a public platform. And she probably did feel like she would be able to handle it given it's her identity, but maybe the backlash at work was more than she expected. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/03/19 07:12 PM |
| 5 | Rant on why I’m joining the “dark side” and going full red pill and it’s really silly.Seems like the rape argument where if a woman dresses sexily she should take accountability for being raped. Personal and professional life should be kept seperate. Just so happened that her "hobby" involves something most people in society seem as a big deal and she shouldn't have been outed. As someone from the bdsm community I understand this. I think your mindset stems from seeing it as a big deal and placing value judgement on what she does. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/03/19 06:57 PM |
| 0 | I no longer have trust in menI want some kind of commitment before that and that was made clear to him before. We did make out a lot and the lifting the skirt thing is on the second date right even before any sort of commitment or exclusivity or indication of seriousness. I'm not a whore that dispenses sexual satisfaction at whim, only to my man. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/03/19 10:55 PM |
| 2 | I no longer have trust in menThanks for the encouragement and that sounds awesome. I just took the kink stuff off my profile. Hopefully I can find someone who is compatible eventually | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/03/19 08:05 PM |
| 2 | I no longer have trust in menYea, this is the conclusion I came to after reading the other reply. Thank you! | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/03/19 08:02 PM |
| 0 | I no longer have trust in menYeah this is my fucking fault for being honest. The other replies were nice and helpful. Obviously I did not know this was the wrong thing to do. Fuck you for attacking me when I'm feeling vulnerable and after I've read and tried so much. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/03/19 07:58 PM |
| 2 | I no longer have trust in menOk, thank you for this blueprint. I definitely feel like a kitten stepping out into the lion's den with this new modern dating haha. My first boyfriend commited to me on the second date so it was never that complicated. I actually feel terrible now after my first experience with it and feel defiled somehow, think I'll take a short break first. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/03/19 07:55 PM |
| 1 | I no longer have trust in menThis is good advice, thank you, so I can see if they're really into me before I reveal the kink thing. If I find someone I like on date 5 for example, and I find out they're not as invested, do I continue or leave? | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/03/19 07:28 PM |
| 1 | I no longer have trust in menWhat do you mean by putting myself in situations to advance - genuine question. Also, I've waited a year without sex to recover and find the right person. I can definitely wait. I do not watch porn at all. This deviance has been in me since childhood and in some ways the kink dynamic I want I have read is in line with traditional male-led / RPW relationships. You're right that it's a narcotic... this is my first time on a dating app and I met my exes organically. Should I delete it? Also, I am t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/03/19 07:20 PM |
| -4 | I no longer have trust in menIf I establish trust and they don't turn out to be kinky, won't I have wasted time? I didn't describe my kinks, just mentioned it after all the other vanilla stuff. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/03/19 07:11 PM |
| 5 | Captain makes less than me.I'm young but ambitious and in tech and expect that I'll make more money in the future than my potential partner. However my worry is always that they'd be insecure about it. Maybe you should ask yourself how important your career/goals are to you also? Finding someone who isn't insecure, who is masculine and doing something with their lives, who is emotionally available for you, who at the same time gives you all the tools you need to fulfill your goals in life - isn't that wonderful? I've date… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/03/19 11:49 AM |
| 2 | I broke up with tge love of my life, not sure if I did the right thing or notProud that you did the right thing even though it was hard. Most women would choose to lie to themselves. You will be able to move on and meet someone whom you feel is "the love of your life", I recently got over someone whom I thought was my soulmate. It took a year and now I'm dating again. Work on yourself and maybe also do some soul-searching as to why you got into a relationship knowingly with a married man. It might be something you'd have to explain to your future Captain. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/03/19 08:19 AM |
| 1 | Jealousy and the secret weapon against the forbidden fruit: honeyThat's hilarious | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/03/19 08:13 AM |
| 8 | Jealousy and the secret weapon against the forbidden fruit: honeyIf you're not snooping though or confronting him about it, how would you know whether he's cheating? Genuine question for if I ever find myself in that kind of situation | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/03/19 08:12 AM |
| 1 | DealbreakersTrust issues. Lots of guys who seem like alphas have them. They'll just keep questioning you repeatedly on your every action and eventually try to have a chokehold on your life in lieu of fixing their insecurities | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/03/19 12:18 PM |
| 19 | A man won't leave you in the dark if he wants youAgreed this is something I learnt only recently. How long do you wait before you realize you're on the back burner and walk away though? | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/03/19 09:42 AM |
| 2 | Is this weird or am I overreacting? Girl texting my fianceI see thanks. Taking this tip for my own use | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/03/19 02:18 PM |
| 1 | Is this weird or am I overreacting? Girl texting my fianceSo in such a situation should OP not say anything or casually point out that she wants him? | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/03/19 06:27 PM |
| 1 | I find it so difficult to make a man fall in love with me.....because I can not control my sexual urges.No, I was responding in the context of ways to counter OP's high sex drive. With say having coffee with 3-4 men it is easier to be more objective rather than obsessing over one and not being able to vet them properly before having sex. If out of the 3-4 men you pick the one with the highest status/looks solely because of that, then you're not doing your vetting properly. If any of the men I'm multidating seem like potentials, I don't see why I would keep looking for more if my goal is to be in a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/03/19 04:36 AM |
| 1 | I find it so difficult to make a man fall in love with me.....because I can not control my sexual urges.Multidate and get commitment from one before sleeping is what I meant. He initiates commitment not you Dunno what to say for this, except what stops me is the fear of consequences more than the temporal pleasure. You can always masturbate yourself to death | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/03/19 04:27 PM |
| 2 | I find it so difficult to make a man fall in love with me.....because I can not control my sexual urges.I also have a very high sex drive. during the vetting process try multidating so you don't obsess or fantasize about one man. It also helps you to have perspective for who wants commitment versus who says they like you quickly just to get in your pants. Other than that I do a lot of swimming to burn off the drive and meditation. Finally I haven't tried this yet but I may go slow on the sex, like consenting to everything else but sex. It is after all intimate to me lol | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/03/19 03:43 PM |
| 7 | My boyfriend broke my trust, how do I trust him again?Hi I was in a similar situation and though it may seem like you're upset over a "small matter", it is not small. It took me a whole year to accept that it was NOT because I wasn't good enough when I found out the guy I was with made plans to fly overseas to see his ex while telling me otherwise. Easier said than done but stop looking inwards at what's wrong with yourself and start looking at what was wrong with him. Do self care and repair that self esteem you're whittling down for no real good … | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/03/19 12:14 PM |
| 7 | Boyfriend doesn't Love me after 9 monthsSorry. Big hug to you, but don't make any more excuses for him. Next one. | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/02/19 01:37 PM |
| 2 | Examples of shit tests/comfort tests?What is the best way to respond to something like that? Honestly I did not know this was a shit test until I read this. Every guy I've been with has done this | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/02/19 11:37 PM |
| 10 | Being his safe place to land.This made me cry. So beautiful and it's what I want but am riddled with trust issues and entering nun mode at the moment. This reminds me of why I'm trying to recover. Thank you for sharing. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/12/18 03:57 PM |
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