~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 130 | Glamour Mag: If He Wanted To, He Would Is "Horrible Advice"“the slow, grinding messaging that being a woman who dates men is a lifetime of waiting to be picked for a middle school P.E. team?” Oh honey… ain’t no one waiting for them men 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/22 02:49 PM |
| 91 | my red flagsDefinitely blaming others for things. If he can’t take accountability for his actions, you’ll certainly be the object of his rage at some point. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/04/22 02:32 AM |
| 26 | Red Flag Of The Day: Grown Men Referring To Adult Women As ‘Girls’…..🤮Same here. When I was younger and new kids would start on at my job and they’d call me ma’am, I’d say that made me feel old. But now I recognize that it’s a term of respect. I still have to catch and correct myself accidentally using the word ‘girl’, but more often than not I just think through my phrasing before I speak. Which a lot of these men clearly don’t have the capacity for. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/04/22 04:03 PM |
| 364 | An Ode to Living AloneUsing the restroom with the door open, coming and going as I please without answering to anybody, sleeping in any room I feel like, generally existing on whatever schedule you want and no one’s judging you stumbling in whether it’s 5pm or 3am | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/04/22 10:49 PM |
| 198 | "Why do FDS tell women to cut people off all the time, isn't that too cruel?"This is so true. When I started applying this to my job situations, my life got so much better. 5 years ago I worked as a shift manager for a terribly manipulative LVM. Every day I dreaded going to work, when I got off I dreaded getting angry texts and emails about what minor things I had gotten wrong, etc. And of course we were expected to take his errors in stride. As fate would have it, my father passed away and I ended up moving across the country with my family. While it was incredibly sad,… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/04/22 04:52 PM |
| 165 | Reminder: Men will keep you around for however long is convenient for them - even if they’re not that into you. Break up at the first sign of his disinterest because he will NOT do it for you. 3rd slide is a commenter.How sad is it to be thirty years old with a mindset of ‘man my girlfriend is so boring, who goes to bed at a decent hour? I just wanna party with a bunch of girls’. Grow up dude, partying is hardly the only thing that brings fulfillment in life. He clearly has the mindset of a teenager when he should be looking to settle down and be an adult. Also, I’m just saying, his mention of being “happy on my own, living my life with partys, girls” definitely reads like he wants his own place so he can che… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/22 03:27 AM |
| 21 | How to get over a breakup?That really sucks man. Breakups are the worst. The best thing I can tell you is that some day you won’t feel sad anymore, and it’ll just be a chapter from your life. Give yourself time to grieve, but once you start feeling better, start rejecting those thoughts and refocusing on things that serve you. Just know that this too shall pass, and if you’re going through hell - keep going | /r/askFDS | 19/04/22 02:24 AM |
| 11 | What are some goals to accomplish before 30 that aren’t a relationship or a house?I’m also 27, have always rented and also single. I don’t see these benchmarks as necessary achievements at all. Houses are ridiculously expensive and men are ridiculously subpar. I just became a certified digital marketer so I can achieve my goal of starting to work from home. I have a wonderful group of lady friends in my state now, which gives me support I was so lacking for a while. My current apartment is awesome. I’ve been spending more time with my family, going to the gym, and generally d… | /r/askFDS | 18/04/22 09:41 AM |
| 15 | Boyfriend becoming less generous after several months?That’s the risk we take. These men’s opinions ain’t shit. He’s gonna say nasty stuff if y’all break up anyway, if that’s the type of man he is. There’s just no avoiding it. | /r/askFDS | 17/04/22 06:33 PM |
| 75 | Boyfriend becoming less generous after several months?Personally, I feel that splitting the bill is not a thing until it comes to actually splitting real bills, as in living together or engaged. He should still be courting you at this point, and a decrease in effort is never a good sign. Like you pointed out, you get all dolled up for a date, spending your time and money to prepare, and suddenly he does not see the value in that 50% of the time. It’s not a good look. I would definitely have a conversation about the mismatched values here. You know … | /r/askFDS | 17/04/22 03:22 AM |
| 112 | Little reminder about "red flags"It has brought me great satisfaction in my dating life to cut men off early on after the first lie, and watch them be absolutely flabbergasted. Like oh you thought huh? That’s what you did wrong. You thought. Trust is not something women should ever give second chances on - it bothers me with shows like Friends where the characters constantly lie to each other and it’s made to be humorous. One lie is the first rock that falls in an avalanche. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/04/22 02:41 AM |
| 129 | Access to HVW is a privilege. Cut off contact the second it does not serve you - you do not have to tolerate anything subpar for even a second.That part 👏🏼👏🏼 dating doesn’t need to be stressful because you are the prize. Moving like a queen gives you such a different energy and HVM will see it for what it is. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/04/22 04:13 PM |
| 78 | Access to HVW is a privilege. Cut off contact the second it does not serve you - you do not have to tolerate anything subpar for even a second.Girl you got me cackling. I wish a man would try this 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/04/22 04:12 PM |
| 138 | Eye opening vacationFlair on point. It sucks watching people live with that negativity, but so freeing to be on the other side of it | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/04/22 02:03 AM |
| 6 | losing friends ever since accepting FDS valuesI think the important part of sharing FDS ideology is acknowledging that men 100% are shitty most of the time, and that what they did in these specific instances were shitty. But, if your friend wants to mitigate the amount of shitty-ness she allows into her life, she has to understand that she DOES allow it and DOES have control over her boundaries and what situations she puts herself in. These situations and men don’t exist in a vacuum, there are very simple ways (per the handbook) to identify… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/04/22 04:52 PM |
| 9 | If there's no "the one", is it just analytical?Choosing a partner by certain traits is the best way to find someone you can be in a healthy relationship with. ‘Love’, or what we perceive as love - butterflies, shared humor, chemistry - is simply not enough. In fact, it’s the quickest way to don rose-colored glasses and become unable to see red flags until it’s too late. It’s important to find someone that shares your values and whose outlook on life complements yours. They should be a respectful, empathetic, and mature person. They should pu… | /r/askFDS | 04/04/22 07:44 AM |
| 30 | Positive stories of finding a HVM or enjoying singlehood?The best part of being single for me (as of almost two months ago) is that I feel like I have dominion over my own mind again. When I’m taken with someone, I find my thoughts continuously circling back to them. I get distracted from my pursuits - I only found time for myself to pursue one goal while I was with my ex, now I’m pursuing multiple things that are very important to me. When my heart isn’t wrapped up in an unhealthy relationship, I feel a stronger passion for the things I’m doing to ma… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/04/22 04:48 AM |
| 31 | This needs more viewsStraight from the horse’s mouth, but in a good way | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/04/22 01:05 AM |
| 9 | “Many women, I think, resist feminism because it is an agony to be fully conscious of the brutal misogyny which permeates culture, society, and all personal relationships.” • Andrea Dworkin, Our Blood: Prophecies and Discourses on Sexual Politics 🤍👩🏻🤝👩🏾It is so, so frustrating man. A couple months ago I was going through a break up and was quieter at work than usual, and the owner told my chef that I had “boyfriend brain” (saying I was ‘unfocused’ because of a new relationship - of course none of them bothered to ask what was actually going on with me). If you have to interact with them again, I would call them out on it every time and refuse to allow them to speak to you like that. You can’t control what they say when you’re not around, but y… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/03/22 04:45 PM |
| 84 | “Many women, I think, resist feminism because it is an agony to be fully conscious of the brutal misogyny which permeates culture, society, and all personal relationships.” • Andrea Dworkin, Our Blood: Prophecies and Discourses on Sexual Politics 🤍👩🏻🤝👩🏾I feel this quote deeply. I started working at my current job (in a male-dominated industry) almost a year ago, and I would hang out after work to bond with my mostly-male coworkers. Every day I witness sexist comments and behavior, and it is horrifying & disheartening to fully understand the depth of their disregard for women as a whole. One of my male coworkers even coerced me into drunkenly sleeping with him, which was awful. Several months ago I stopped staying after work and started focusin… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/03/22 03:41 AM |
| 51 | Half the comments have sense, the other half are… highkey horrifyingI’m glad that most people recognize the seriousness of this. The comment that really got me was, “If you didn’t bite him first this wouldn’t have happened.” Typical victim-blaming. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/22 09:04 PM |
| 68 | Half the comments have sense, the other half are… highkey horrifyingTo me, I don’t even think she chose a bruise-revealing outfit on purpose. It’s spring. But he immediately clocked it and wanted her to reconsider so that he won’t look like an abusive POS. I wonder how many more “accidental” injuries he’ll ask her to hide. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/22 09:00 PM |
| 18 | I have no words...What in the f*ck did I just read | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/22 04:23 AM |
| 29 | Where do men go to find the audacity? What kind of good man is this? Is this the standard? Because if so, then sorry to this man. 33 and childish with his priorities out of order. What an embarrassment. Feel sorry for that baby.I lol’d at “looking for friendship, casual relationship, long-term relationship” oh yes anything really. But I DONT DEAL WITH BS tho and I’m ready to date 🤡 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/22 07:00 PM |
| 60 | Major trigger warning. This is what pro kink / pro sex work activists are advocating for. They always rant about women having bodily autonomy & making their own choices, but does it look like the people who engage deeply in kink are mentally healthy? I’m sorry, but this mentality is psychotic.Holy shit ima pray for that woman. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/03/22 02:03 AM |
| 1215 | What in the apron strings?!Any time I see someone posting about “I asked my SO to hide an essential part of themself to appease my parents”, I just can’t help but wonder why they’re even dating them? It’s 2022 lol | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/03/22 09:19 PM |
| 15 | I love this hot take 😂👏🏼Oh yeah, they stay messaging me bro 😂 the tears are real | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/03/22 04:50 PM |
| 24 | I love this hot take 😂👏🏼Lol exactly ^ obviously this is a crude, baseline level of understanding to us - not so much for the intended audience. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/03/22 02:34 AM |
| 20 | I love this hot take 😂👏🏼I agree with everything you said, but this post was made for other men, not women. I would venture to say none of it applies to us, but rather men that would cry gold-digger because a woman requires he pay for things. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/03/22 02:31 AM |
| 27 | I love this hot take 😂👏🏼I think it’s a kind of baseline way to say that women who prefer more lavish lifestyles shouldn’t be made to feel bad because a guy can’t afford it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/03/22 12:54 AM |
| 15 | I love this hot take 😂👏🏼There’s no comparison to cars here, but yeah not the most charming word to use. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/03/22 11:03 PM |
| 178 | Men when they say "it's so sad when women don't want to date and live a little! Men and women need each other because of their differences!"Constantly worrying about whether or not some LVM is going to f*ck you over is not what I would consider “living”, my guy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/03/22 03:17 AM |
| 27 | It Took One MinuteDude same. Like can I just get to where I’m going and enjoy the fresh air? No?? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/03/22 03:03 AM |
| 55 | It Took One MinuteMaaaan. I had some car issues last week so I decided to walk to work a few days as it’s only 50 min or so. Any time I walk down the street, anywhere that’s not downtown, no matter what I’m wearing, dudes honk at me a minimum of two times. I remember being about out and about at 16 wearing a pirate costume and getting honked at. And one time I was in some hick town in Colorado enjoying a walk high as f*ck and some dudes drove past and yelled ‘Whore!’ at me. What is wrong with them? What makes the… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/03/22 02:22 AM |
| 69 | Anyone else feel like there is A LOT missing from this story??“after a simple disagreement on our way back from a wedding where I was feeling overwhelmed and ill” LVM never want to talk about how they act when they’re feeling less than optimal. Maybe you didn’t hit her or raise your voice (or cheat on her..?? Not that that’s the bare minimum or anything), but did you blame her? Did you dismiss her feelings and act like a self-centered jackass? “I am always the bad guy for working too much” How much work are you talking? Do you help out around the home, are… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/03/22 09:07 PM |
| 25 | Scrote high off confidence from “self-improvement” demands his female friend stop telling his hookups he’s sleeping around. Molly for president 2k24It doesn’t sound like she told him all that at all (the only thing in quotes was “too nice” and the rest sound like him reaching) and she’s not responsible for him taking whatever she said to mean he needs to go RP to get women. Hanging out with a group of male friends doesn’t automatically make her a pickme, and I’d venture to say her actions with these women say the opposite. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/03/22 02:59 PM |
| 9 | Happy Friday beautiful people 💖 buy your own flowersLOVE this for you | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/03/22 01:18 PM |
| 288 | Scrote high off confidence from “self-improvement” demands his female friend stop telling his hookups he’s sleeping around. Molly for president 2k24He sounds like he’s gone TRP, and he’s mad that she won’t play along with what he’s become. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/03/22 03:54 AM |
| 226 | Scrote high off confidence from “self-improvement” demands his female friend stop telling his hookups he’s sleeping around. Molly for president 2k24Big facts. They know that most women have moral compasses, so when we talk, it’s a whooole lot different than when they talk shit with the boys about all the women they’re banging. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/03/22 03:53 AM |
| 798 | Scrote high off confidence from “self-improvement” demands his female friend stop telling his hookups he’s sleeping around. Molly for president 2k24Exactly. No one who was aware they were in a casual relationship would be asking their dude’s friend if he’s is seeing other women. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/03/22 03:51 AM |
| 16 | Hi everyone, I'm back after two weeks away! And new question of course!Imo, most men tend to be narcissists (or at the least, more self-centered than women are socialized to be). They tend to introspect less and doubt themselves/their values less. And of course, most of them are conditioned to see us as ‘less than’, whether overtly or subconsciously, so they don’t seek to understand our experiences or consider us as people beyond face value. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/03/22 02:52 AM |
| 22 | A question in regards to single motherhoodI’m also interested in becoming a single mother by choice. I think the key is having a strong support system you can rely on - so not going it alone, just rather as a single woman. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/03/22 01:55 AM |
| 10 | How are you leveling up?It’s on Coursera, it was created in collaboration with Facebook/Meta. It’s really great, very thorough - 6 courses in the program and you build a portfolio through the projects. I’m loving it. They estimate it takes 6 months doing 5-10 hours a week but I’m halfway done at 6 weeks, so you can go at your own speed. And the best part is, you get a free 7-day trial and then it’s $50/month. So I probably won’t spend more than $150 total to learn a very in-demand skill. Highly recommend :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/03/22 11:18 PM |
| 24 | How are you leveling up?After I broke up with my last dude, I decided I was entirely done with men and relationships for the foreseeable future. I’ve been doing an online social media marketing course, working on getting to the gym and outside more/eating healthier. I’m getting my first big tattoo and getting ready for a hot girl summer lol. I listen to audiobooks like crazy to keep my mind focused on learning new things. It’s all been so much easier to focus on without worrying about some man deceiving me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/03/22 08:45 PM |
| 31 | Well… you chose him!Mhmm. Back when my best friend and I used to stay in relationships far past their expiration date, we still always spoke to each other kindly and only used tough love when necessary. That’s what real friends do. You don’t have to love the choices to love the person. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/03/22 11:10 PM |
| 86 | Well… you chose him!I was seeing a guy for three months who seemed too good to be true. Couple weeks ago, the mask drops and turns out he straight up lied about the most important things to me in our relationship. No one chooses to be lied to, all you can do is pay attention to the signs. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/03/22 10:58 PM |
| 25 | Let's Talk About Woke Bros and NeggingIt’s truly hilarious to see a guy’s reaction when they realize that you’re not just at but far above their level, when they were just trying to get some P by seeming so wise and otherworldly. They get so curt and immediately try to move the conversation along when you don’t fawn over their words. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/03/22 08:37 AM |
| 39 | How to prevent hornyness related pickmeness on datesYooo I got myself a Romp cl*t sucker after my last breakup. Changed 👏🏼 my 👏🏼 life 👏🏼 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/03/22 06:15 AM |
| 11 | The Bite-Size Guide to Vet a Potential Suitor: What is he SAYING?Oh good lord. 100% agree. Especially if he’s trying to talk you out of seeing obvious red flags as such. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/22 06:55 AM |
| 8 | A gentle reminder about ignoring red flags, and forgiving yourself for allowing them to use the power of your wind to fly.Effin’ same dude. Got deeply hurt in the exact same way and finally realized where I was fucking up. It sucks having to be like “Wow, I can’t even be mad at you (you’re still a piece of shit tho), it’s me who needs to get the f*ck off this script once and for all.” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/22 06:42 AM |
| 7 | On "Roasting"One of my biggest pet peeves is when a man gives you a compliment, you agree with it, and they react like “whoa now” as if to ‘take you down a notch’ for acknowledging that you are indeed pretty/smart/funny etc. It’s like this subtle negging that just reeks of insecurity, like they can’t let you be too confident. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/22 07:58 PM |
| 19 | Which book impacted you the most and would be your first pick as a gift to someone?The Four Agreements is a great recommendation. Secrets of Six Figure Women is good one for those seeking to increase their income and improve their mindset about financial literacy. WomanCode by Alisa Vitti is great for those looking to live a healthier lifestyle in sync with their hormones, and/or resolve hormone-related health issues. For smokers who want to quit - The Easy Way to Stop Smoking by Allen Carr. A little old fashioned sounding, but really does work to help you de-brainwash yoursel… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/22 08:43 PM |
| 138 | Ladies who have taken back an ex, did he change and what made you take him back?Before the past two years or so, I had a horrible habit of breaking up and then getting back together or lingering/hoping. It has been a waste of my time 100% of the time. Imo, if a man is actually going to change a behavior that you don’t like, he will do so immediately and will make it clear he will not do it again. Then, you wait, watch, and don’t give second chances. If you’ve reached the point of breaking up, there’s no reason to believe that he cares about you enough to change the behavior… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/22 08:31 PM |
| 1 | Dating an alleged HVM who is separated/divorcedI just think there’s a lot of context that can’t be accurately conveyed through a short post, I think I just shouldn’t have posted at all considering that. Also because it wasn’t intended to be a serious relationship when it started, he started pursuing me when we started really getting to know each other. | /r/askFDS | 04/01/22 02:26 AM |
| 1 | Dating an alleged HVM who is separated/divorcedNamely because it will be another 6 months at least before he can even file. | /r/askFDS | 04/01/22 01:55 AM |
| 1 | Dating an alleged HVM who is separated/divorcedI wouldn’t call it immediately. Three months passed before he reached out | /r/askFDS | 04/01/22 01:53 AM |
| -15 | Dating an alleged HVM who is separated/divorcedI have read the handbook. Like I said, the only reason he is still legally married is because he can’t file for divorce until they’ve been separated for a year. They have no contact other than through lawyers, and she has already moved on. You don’t think there’s any gray area there? | /r/askFDS | 03/01/22 11:53 PM |
| 3 | Men will try to make you look crazy for lashing out at them after they ignore your boundaries over and over.They “know”, but most of them don’t understand. They don’t empathize and will say things like ‘get over it’ cuz they never actually stop to put themselves in our shoes for two seconds, because it doesn’t benefit them to see the world through our eyes. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/10/21 04:42 AM |
| 19 | Men will try to make you look crazy for lashing out at them after they ignore your boundaries over and over.This post earned me my first little incel man message! Aw. I feel like I’m really part of FDS now lol 🥰 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/10/21 02:17 PM |
| 73 | Men will try to make you look crazy for lashing out at them after they ignore your boundaries over and over.It’s sad because many times people think that because women aren’t reporting anything, there aren’t any issues and microaggressions or worse are not happening. It takes real courage to be the one who walks into these workplaces, point the finger at a man (or several) and say, “you need to stop acting like that”. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/10/21 05:27 AM |
| 51 | Men will try to make you look crazy for lashing out at them after they ignore your boundaries over and over.Honestly, they just beat you down little by little. It’s exhausting trying to constantly stand up to it and point it out when you can’t just sit them down and have a full on educational session, because you’re too busy doing your job. Men truly have no idea about the added stress of being a woman in spaces that they dominate. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/10/21 05:24 AM |
| 183 | Men will try to make you look crazy for lashing out at them after they ignore your boundaries over and over.Ahaha. Every time a man goes into a tizzy about something I make sure to laugh and say omg, men are SO dramatic. 😂 I was at a bar the other night, a dude I was speaking to kept putting his arm around me and I told him if he didn’t stop touching me he’d lose a finger or two. When he started acting flabbergasted I hit him with that line and he just did NOT know what to do, lol. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/10/21 05:19 AM |
| 142 | Men will try to make you look crazy for lashing out at them after they ignore your boundaries over and over.Honestly, I kept thinking about how I would LOVE to see him touching and pestering one of the other guys. How quickly they would be like “get the fuck off me man the hell are you doing”. 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/10/21 05:14 AM |
| 6 | Remember the ex you wanted to marry? Let’s all laugh togetherI decided to come back and comment because this guy from two years ago popped into my mind on my way home from work, and I got so angry and sad all over again. Just need to let it out right now. I was 24, he was 39. He frequented strip clubs before he met me. I was moving across the country for school but had fallen hard so we dated for three months and when it came time he decided to move with me, helping drive me out and then coming himself a month later. He was undocumented so many aspects of… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/10/21 06:15 AM |
| 133 | FDS is featured on JezebelEspecially because ‘1950’s dating manuals’ literally say things like do the chores so your man can rest; be submissive and don’t nag him. FDS is the complete opposite lol. In the 50’s women were conditioned to seek romantic partnership above a career, healthy hobbies and friendships, and their own best interests. The only thing remotely similar is that FDS also promotes not sleeping around, but it’s for entirely different reasons. We’re not trying to ‘keep ourselves pure for the male gaze’, we’r… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/10/21 04:43 AM |
| 11 | Why they neg, straight from the horse’s mouth.Wellp, this is the most absurd thing I’ve read all day | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/10/21 04:22 AM |
| 21 | Conservative men can be so misogynistic that I can no longer tell the difference between reality and satire.Ain’t no way. Ain’t no fuckin’ way 😂💀💀 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/21 07:15 PM |
| 32 | So, how’s it going these days now that you have to make women like you to get their interest? Men:Lost in the sauce 2021 lmaoo | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/21 04:44 AM |
| 144 | What’s something that you thought you had to do but realized it’s misogyny and actually doesn’t benefit you?Many others have said this too, but casual sex. When I first started reading FDS I began to realize that most men do not deserve access to my body (and recognize how many LVM were around me), but felt dejected because I thought it wouldn’t be possible for me to stop because of my high sex drive. Nowadays, when I identify LV/low effort behavior in a man, I am turned off instinctively. When I start going down the mental path of wanting to approach a guy for sex/accepting an advance, my brain immed… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/10/21 04:23 AM |
| 8 | The soundtrack of our livesI love that last quote! I will definitely check out Glenn Gould. I usually prefer lofi if driving or chilling. There’s so many different kinds and many relaxing lofi beats where I can listen to my own thoughts. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/09/21 03:27 AM |
| 2 | This just in. Baldness - A systemic issue we should all be taking seriously.With his bald headed ass | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/09/21 12:14 PM |
| 4 | Weekly FDS Check-InHow/ when can you change/upgrade your badge? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/09/21 05:28 AM |
| 31 | One of the MANY things I’ll never do for a man: compete for him. You think you found better, then go!!!!!! Please!!! Get as far from me as you can!!!!! Feel so bad for this woman…This is why I hate that song “Jolene”. Like… no. If you can ‘take’ my man, then you can have him 🙃 never in my God given life will I compete to keep some loser who’s keeping his options open. Commit or get lost | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/09/21 04:30 AM |
| 5 | Hahaha what. #hobosexualLol HVAC stands for Heating, Ventilation, Air Conditioning | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/21 05:50 PM |
| 10 | Hahaha what. #hobosexualI didn’t want to put identifying info in the OP, but I want you all to know he goes by Rabbit. Lmfao | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/21 04:53 AM |
| 6 | What age range do you belong to?But we’re just a bunch of 40 year old cat ladies… 👀😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/09/21 03:15 PM |
| 12 | Female psychologist wants to normalize Stay-At-Home DadsI think SAHDs should not be normalized for men to ‘have the freedom to pursue it’ - it should be normalized so that women can have the freedom to pursue a career after having a child if they want to (and don’t want to put their child in daycare). If I end up having a child with a man, this will almost certainly be the route I go. I have ambitious entrepreneurial career goals, and would appreciate having a partner who would be cool with doing the majority of the childcare. It’s definitely a mixed… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/09/21 01:23 PM |
| 110 | Imagine tolerating thisWhy are their faces blacked out? I had no idea who tf this was 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/09/21 05:53 AM |
| 6 | So we all know that men can’t stop talking about themselves, so I wanted to ask you ladies..So horrifying dude. Some men are just complete pigs with no sense of morality. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/09/21 07:49 PM |
| 1 | Saying she post on FDS isn't an insult to me, there is a reason this is my main account IDC.Yeah, I mean it doesn’t need to benefit them, yet it does, yet they won’t subscribe to it because it’s hArD. That’s what I’m saying. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/09/21 03:45 PM |
| 77 | Saying she post on FDS isn't an insult to me, there is a reason this is my main account IDC.Same honestly. This is what I believe and I’m not ashamed to say so. Like… we’re not wrong. 😂 FDS tenets are beneficial to both men and women - but most men just don’t want to level up to meet HVW where we’re at. They want to stay in cycles of low value behavior because it’s easy and doesn’t require personal development. And that’s a fact. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/09/21 03:12 AM |
| 61 | So we all know that men can’t stop talking about themselves, so I wanted to ask you ladies..Oh dude. One of my worst exes told me offhandedly and almost smugly that he had sex with a 12 year old when he was 22. “But she looked 16”. And he did it more than once because he didn’t want her to get upset and tell her parents and rightfully get him put in jail. I fucking screamed at him for about an hour, I was so horrified. I was 22 at the time and he was 32. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/09/21 11:25 PM |
| 57 | IF HE WANTED TO, HE WOULD: Or, even if he wanted to, he never had the ability to do it in the first place.LVM will also almost never bow out gracefully once dropped, and will reveal themselves at that point even if you’re unsure if you made the right decision. Whether it’s being outright mean, or manipulative comments about being rejected, or pretending to be civil then talking mad shit behind your back for exercising your right to say no. They tell on themselves one way or another. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/09/21 04:23 AM |
| 27 | How to Deal With LVM Brothers?I would also love to know the answer to this, my brother is also very LVM. He doesn’t contribute at all to the household and every week pays my mom the fine she imposed for not taking out the trash, the one chore she asks of him, so she will do it instead because he refuses to set an alarm for it to remember. Frequently uses or damages my things without acknowledgment or apology, and just generally inconsiderate and sloppy. Also talks down to his gf. How does one deal with a LVM they can’t just … | /r/askFDS | 16/09/21 03:26 AM |
| 141 | I just found his alphabetized nudes from previous relationships. Mine included.Whatever you do, remember these things: 1. It will not get better. 2. No matter what he says, he is not sorry. 3. He does not respect you as a human being, at all. 4. IT WILL NOT GET BETTER. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/09/21 02:04 AM |
| 119 | I'm ready to make the bald lurkers cry.Hahaha “that’s a bold fucking assumption of you to make”. I don’t know who she is but I love her and she’s absolutely right. 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/09/21 09:39 AM |
| 11 | A rantI would just tell her that you don’t want to hear about it anymore. Make it clear that you care about her and want to be her friend, but she knows how you feel about this hot mess of a situation that is not only drama-filled, but potentially dangerous. She doesn’t need to be sharing that part of her life with you over and over again, when she knows damn well that it’s not going to have a pretty ending. I have definitely been in her shoes, where it’s just sO mUcH fUn and a thrill to be at the cen… | /r/askFDS | 08/09/21 06:40 PM |
| 22 | Know how valuable you are, PLEASE!I would have punched him in the fucking face. What a waste of space. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/09/21 11:29 PM |
| 37 | Dating (relatively poor) teacher who wants me to alternate payingI don’t think the arrangement he had with his previous girlfriends matters, at all. You are his current prospect and you decide your own standards. It doesn’t matter what he wants. What do you want? And the point still stands that he refused to pay so long that you were forced to pay. It’s rude and immature. | /r/askFDS | 07/09/21 02:30 AM |
| 86 | Quick unmatch after one early text. I’m finally learning to not waste time by trusting my gut.Ha ha ha lmfao. “I’ll lose interest” oh nooo. 😂 boy bye. Perfect level of snark in your response also. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/09/21 02:26 AM |
| 31 | Dating (relatively poor) teacher who wants me to alternate payingLike the first comment mentioned, it sounds like the bigger issue is the fact that he didn’t bring it up and instead made you so uncomfortable that you had to just deal with it. That’s not mature, and considering that he brought up ‘feminism means EqUaLiTy” indicates to me that he did that intentionally to teach you a lesson. I definitely think there can be more nuance to the issue of paying for dates than this sub generally allows for, but the guy has to be emotionally intelligent enough to hav… | /r/askFDS | 07/09/21 01:36 AM |
| 6 | When men withhold feelings/emotions: do they have them or do they just not care?You said men are extremely emotional, I’m agreeing with you that everyone has emotions and I didn’t say they didn’t. That’s not what emotional intelligence is. We are in agreement if you understand the definition I am speaking about lol. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/09/21 07:06 PM |
| 11 | When men withhold feelings/emotions: do they have them or do they just not care?Everyone has emotions. Having emotions is different than expressing them intelligently, and with regard to the feelings of others. That is what I’m saying. They use apathy as a weapon instead of expressing emotions intelligently. It is obviously a tactic, but this is not a myth. 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/09/21 01:09 PM |
| 8 | When men withhold feelings/emotions: do they have them or do they just not care?When I say emotionally unintelligent, I’m talking about the idea LVM have that expressing emotions in a healthy way is feminine, or being ‘sensitive’. They lose power when expressing emotion in this way. Alternatively, men can be alright with expressing their emotions, but not in conjunction with empathy, in which case they still lose power when expressing emotions because it does not serve their motives to care about the emotions/emotional responses of others. It all comes back to power, but im… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/09/21 12:34 PM |
| 25 | When men withhold feelings/emotions: do they have them or do they just not care?I was just thinking about this. I think that when men are emotionally unintelligent, conveying apathy is the only way to have power with emotional dynamics. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/09/21 06:33 AM |
| 57 | This is a weekly reminder to women especially “creatives” to watch out for lovebombing, genuine demons lurk and will seemingly try their best to tether your guard with words to exploit your emotions and try to conquer your body.I recently had a manipulative narcissist coworker state that I was an empath in passing. And then go on to exploit that in every day life. They know what they’re doing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/08/21 03:59 PM |
| 43 | JealousyThe most important part of FDS is that we are decentralizing men from our lives. I read a comment once here that said, “your internal dialogue should be about YOU”. It’s not easy to shift the mindset and understand that you deserve the best. But the most important thing is that every time you catch yourself obsessing over an issue that is outside yourself - refocus. Choose instead to think about what is going on in your life, what you want to improve about yourself, etc. Put yourself first the w… | /r/askFDS | 30/08/21 01:49 PM |
| 16 | Just saw this post on FB… biggest load of male sympathy horseshit I’ve seen in a minute 😂 men have no inherent value, yet they receive the most societal benefit for doing the bare minimum. OkayyyyyUh huh. I definitely commented, no response thus far 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/08/21 02:53 AM |
| 63 | I broke up with my boyfriend because he uses p0rnFor real. I spent so long hearing from friends and men that it was an impossible standard, so it’s refreshing to see other women not standing for it. Good luck to you finding your HVM | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/21 09:38 PM |
| 106 | I broke up with my boyfriend because he uses p0rnYou can never know for sure, I personally stay cautious about it for a long time and I check phones and shit idgaf. If a man gets to that point with me, he will know by then the trauma I’ve experienced regarding trust and specifically with porn, strip clubs, etc. This sub also talks a lot about observing the way they talk about women and sex work in general. You can tell a lot about whether a man allows himself to indulge that kind of behavior by how they act in real life. Anyway, I make it very… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/21 09:20 PM |
| 153 | I broke up with my boyfriend because he uses p0rnThis is why I never make a relationship official until I’ve had the porn conversation 😒 I try to not get my hopes up at all until I’m comfortable enough with a man to have it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/21 09:16 PM |
| 22 | Opinions if I am being too sensitive about this comment ?It doesn’t really sound like he was negging you because tbh, you brought that comment on yourself by, like you said, fishing for validation. Especially because he was clearly trying to be nice with his first comment. I doubt anyone really knows what to say when someone is telling them unnecessary things like that. I wouldn’t use that conversation to make any decisions unless there are other unrelated red flags. | /r/askFDS | 15/08/21 05:51 PM |
| 4 | Don't send nudes to friend-turned hookups!!Probably not uncommon, but I found nudes in an ex’s phone that he had sent to a couple friends of his. Among other things. When I confronted him about completely disrespecting this woman, his defense was essentially that “once she sends the pictures, they’re mine to do with what I wish”. To make it even creepier, he told me this was why he never asked me for nudes - because he knew he would do bad things with them (he had lied about everything our whole relationship but had planned to ‘start ove… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/08/21 12:02 AM |
| 62 | A thank you to this sub!Hell yes. I almost made a post from a non-main but deleted, but I got “propositioned” by a LVM recently and realized through the course of the night that he was low-effort & LV and there was no chance in hell I was about to spread it for him 😂 men become so unattractive when you can see straight through them and their tactics. This sub is really quite a life/dignity-saver. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/08/21 03:40 AM |
| 24 | I’m 19 and I like older men. Is this bad?I’ve been in your shoes, except that I went through with fulfilling my fantasies. I can tell you from my experience that it’s not worth it. The attention of an older man often feels special, they’ll tell you you’re so mature for your age, or pretend they value your opinions and feelings. But the truth is, once they cross into the territory of acting on their attraction to you, they’ve already revealed what kind of man they are. Also, an older guy is not necessarily any better in bed than the ave… | /r/askFDS | 10/08/21 03:04 AM |
| 20 | “It’s men in their thirties with huge beards, and they’re pretty much all stay-at-home dads...Their wives work office jobs and they work on the vans so the family can go out and vanlife on the weekend.”I was on OLD a while back and matched with a guy, got a few sentences into conversation before I saw he updated his bio to include “living in a converted van”. I asked if his bio changed, he seemed embarrassed that it changed but I was like nah I’m just not about that van life 😂 you ain’t about to lay me down in your 4 x 8 LOL | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/08/21 03:58 AM |
| 9 | When Asks her husband to go Shopping, this is what requires *facepalm*If I see one more post by a woman who thinks it’s cute and funny that her husband is mentally handicapped about basic domestic shit, I’m gonna puke 🤮 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/08/21 02:43 AM |
| 81 | Everyday I am reminded that not starting a family with a scrote was a good choiceHer eyes/smile are so crazed… even she knows this ain’t it | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/21 06:28 PM |
| 15 | The new trick on the block : LVM pretending they ‘struggle’ on dating apps or ‘hate modern dating culture’.This fits so well here - I was on Tinder for a hot minute recently and received this message: “Hey [not my name]! How are you doing this evening? I’ll be honest, I’m not very good at this whole online dating thing. I find the process kind of awkward and superficial. But I promise I am not a douche bag at least.” And the follow up: “Damn, I already called you the wrong name, epic fail on the not being a douche bag part already.” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/08/21 07:13 AM |
| 23 | “Why did he marry her and not me?”I just wanted to tell you that I’m feeling shitty over some huge LVM right now and your words really helped me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/07/21 04:44 AM |
| 13 | Just a quick reminder: never ask a guy out.I was thinking about this yesterday, thank you. I was wondering why a guy I perceive to be interested hadn’t made a move yet, was starting to obsess over the ‘why??’. And then I realized, oop. It doesn’t matter why. If he wanted to, he would. 💯 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 03:27 PM |
| 4 | Deeply difficult brother - what do I do?I’m in such a similar situation to you, and I’m also at a loss. However, my mom recently offered to let me share her bathroom (it’s just the three of us) due to bro’s repeated incidents of being inconsiderate and sloppy. Idk if this is an option for you? Or maybe at least you could bring it up and see if your parents would change their tune about dealing with him if they saw how much it bothers you. Either way, I’m sorry you have to deal with this. It’s hard when you can’t just leave. | /r/askFDS | 10/07/21 03:57 AM |
| 11 | Can LVM become HVM?^ this. If he has the entitlement that comes with an abusive mindset (physical or not), it’s unlikely he will do the serious psychological work required to break out of that and have healthy relationships. | /r/askFDS | 07/07/21 03:29 PM |
| 133 | Ladies what is something men do that you thought was a green flag but is actually men being trash as usual?It’s funny, because I’ve found that guys who do this will also turn around and say “I don’t really talk about myself/my feelings that much” but in reality have no problem dumping all their issues on you without reciprocating. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 01:26 PM |
| 15 | I want to block.I mean that pretty much wraps up what I was saying… you don’t go to school with him anymore, and you have no reason to remain friends with him. You’re on the FDS sub because you want to know if you should block a man. You can say you treat people equally all day long, but from all the context, there is no perceivable reason why you should not block the man except that you feel bad because he’s disabled. | /r/askFDS | 01/07/21 02:28 AM |
| 19 | I want to block.“One of my friends never liked him despite him being disabled” she’s supposed to like him because he’s disabled? “She’s not against them” how does one be ‘against’ disabled human beings? You implied that you went to community college with this dude. If you’re not there anymore, you aren’t getting anything out of the friendship, and it’s clear he wants more, then why tf are you still entertaining him? If I had to take a wild guess, it’s because you pity him. Disabled people don’t need your pity f… | /r/askFDS | 01/07/21 02:14 AM |
| 12 | I want to block.The whole tone of this post is that you feel like you’re being mean because he’s disabled, as if he’s not really a man because he’s disabled. Disabled people deserve to be treated like the regular ass human beings they are - and in this instance, it is a man whose attachment to you is making you uncomfortable. It doesn’t sound like you have any real reason not to block him besides the fact that you are ableist. | /r/askFDS | 01/07/21 02:03 AM |
| 11 | What age gap is appropriate?Personally, because age is such a fickle thing and looks differently on everyone, I would say 5 years +/- but I round up. So if I was 27, personally around 25 is the lowest I would go. On the other end, I’d round up to 35. This reasoning puts both of your guys out of luck, but at the end of the day I think the best thing to do is vet just with those cautionary limits in mind. For example, you met 36 on an app - pass. 24 works in your field - considerable. I think age can really only be a very ro… | /r/askFDS | 29/06/21 01:37 AM |
| 52 | Was watching Good On Paper (Netflix), and THE RESONATION OF THIS BIT!Iliza is such a real one. She doesn’t just rely on the overplayed “I’m a woman so I’m obviously crazy lol!” She really explains the deep rooted misogyny behind women’s behaviors and men’s responses to them in a way that’s palatable to the average mind. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/06/21 03:06 AM |
| 10 | Being skeptical of the advice you get from older women about datingI started reading Why Does He Do That? recently. I was talking to my mom about it, and she raised the point of “Well don’t you think that sometimes, someone who’s not normally abusive can be pushed into it by someone who keeps provoking/pushing them?” I responded that no, a man who does not have an abusive mindset will never be abusive, and that abusive men are still abusive men when they’re not being (physically) abusive. As someone else said, there are pickmes in every generation, but I think … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/21 04:14 AM |
| 1 | HV man with communication issues?That’s fair, I’m just saying it’s frustrating that the green flags turned out to be red flags in and of themselves. | /r/askFDS | 21/06/21 10:08 PM |
| 3 | HV man with communication issues?I definitely see what you’re saying. I’ve mentioned to him some personal development books that have helped me with my own issues, because I too have never had extra cash lying around for therapy. The initial excuse is he doesn’t focus well with reading, and when I say “audiobooks” it’s just “yeah that’s true”. That is true, I mentioned in another comment that he told me he was Catholic but apparently he doesn’t actually believe the very basic foundation of Christian-sect religions. It is so fru… | /r/askFDS | 21/06/21 02:30 PM |
| 1 | HV man with communication issues?Yeah… part of that too, is that when I ask him what he likes about me, several things he lists are stuff like “you don’t hit/cheat on me”. Which as we all know are very basic non-negotiables. The religion aspect is another very frustrating part; he told me he was Catholic when I met him (I am Christian) so I thought there was an understanding of the core beliefs and thus room for discussion about things. But when I asked more specific questions, I found out he does not believe the single most cr… | /r/askFDS | 21/06/21 02:21 PM |
| 6 | HV man with communication issues?I agree that it seems like that’s what’s happening :/ which is so frustrating, especially because he’s been known by his friend group to not ever really have had a girlfriend (I know this seems like a red flag, but for his personal reasons I don’t want to put on the internet I haven’t thought it was), so like his friends/family were so excited when we started dating. He’s told me that he cares for me more than he has for anyone in a long time. I don’t get why he isn’t afraid to lose me. | /r/askFDS | 21/06/21 03:48 AM |
| 3 | HV man with communication issues?No I feel you, these were the only things I could think of in the state I was in when I wrote this haha. But he also takes care of himself and his household, things like that. I appreciate hearing about your experience, and I agree that guy has to be willing to recognize it’s a real problem and do the work... and that even then, it may be a very long process. It does get exhausting always feeling like I’m pulling things out of him. | /r/askFDS | 21/06/21 03:43 AM |
| 169 | Finally met my HVM 🥰Bro I was so concerned for a minute, you really had me in the first half 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/06/21 07:58 PM |
| 4 | Why you shouldn’t be friends with menI think that your experience is more common than not. I have a lot of male friends (mostly men I used to be closer with, coworkers and such) that have been there for me and I know still would. However, I also don’t doubt that most of them would sleep with me if given the chance, even if they would never say it because they know I don’t view them that way. In that vein, I do believe it is much harder for a man to have an actual only-friendship with a woman than vice versa, because that mindset is… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/06/21 05:41 AM |
| 22 | Why you should NEVER go 50/50 on a date: Breaking down the most common arguments (Part. 3)I agree with a lot of this. I do think, though, that the whole ‘Masculina’ persona is very essential in situations like male-dominated workplaces (not picking up all the slack, but more so not tolerating any shit), or when defining your boundaries in a relationship, or speaking frankly about women’s issues, for example. I think as long as you are able to express that in a serious relationship you want to be provided for, etc. you can still avoid getting into situations with LVM. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/06/21 04:23 AM |
| 14 | 🚩 RED FLAGS 🚩 Career edition 🤭😳 (psychopath edition 🥲🧛♂️)-walking on egg shells It’s hilarious to me how they expect the utmost respect and yet treat the people around them like crap. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/06/21 04:45 PM |
| 10 | 🚩 RED FLAGS 🚩 Career edition 🤭😳 (psychopath edition 🥲🧛♂️)This though. Country clubs are among the worst as far as culture goes, especially because of sh*tty chefs. I just left an ‘upscale’ burger joint that was run by a chef who came from country clubs, and even knew my old chef. He seemed cool at first but undeniably had the biggest ego issues. Always “jokingly” made a show of how much better he was than everyone else, how much more experience he had, etc. When I quit due to his behavior, he yelled and cussed in my face. It’s so exhausting working wi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/06/21 04:44 PM |
| 15 | The bigger a dude, the nicer he tends to be. I don't even care about height from an aesthetics standpoint, but I don't date short men because they usually have a Napoleon complex and terrible personality.Yeahh, I mean to be fair they have to work with the hand they’ve been dealt, but at least be an attentive lover then | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/05/21 09:29 PM |
| 54 | The bigger a dude, the nicer he tends to be. I don't even care about height from an aesthetics standpoint, but I don't date short men because they usually have a Napoleon complex and terrible personality.“Life is harder for women than it is for short men.” Say it louder for the ones in the back lol | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/05/21 02:43 PM |
| 149 | The bigger a dude, the nicer he tends to be. I don't even care about height from an aesthetics standpoint, but I don't date short men because they usually have a Napoleon complex and terrible personality.When I was 19 I met this 6’2” guy off Tinder, who I shit you not was about the size of my finger, length and girth. When I gave him head, he had the gall to tell me “no one’s ever been able to take the whole thing before”. 🤦🏽♀️🤡😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/05/21 02:37 PM |
| 14 | The bigger a dude, the nicer he tends to be. I don't even care about height from an aesthetics standpoint, but I don't date short men because they usually have a Napoleon complex and terrible personality.Assholes do come in all shapes and sizes, but there is definitely such a thing as patterns and mental issues that often apply to guys of certain height ranges. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/05/21 02:30 PM |
| 3 | Anyone else find certain shows/movies infuriating now that you've found FDS?It’s funny too, because when a show’s rating denotes “nudity”, 99% of the time it is only female nudity. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/05/21 05:41 AM |
| 18 | Can we talk about this concept for a minute and why it should bother you as a woman?I don’t agree. As I said, if both partners aren’t willing to engage honestly and compassionately in each other’s love languages, then obviously the book is pointless, and if men choose to be shitty and use these concepts to take advantage of their partners rather than love them the way they need to be loved, then obviously there is no point. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/05/21 07:12 AM |
| 15 | Can we talk about this concept for a minute and why it should bother you as a woman?It’s fair enough to say that we’re all jaded by the amount of hateful men in the world. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/05/21 07:03 AM |
| 34 | Can we talk about this concept for a minute and why it should bother you as a woman?I mean, the higher points of the book are fairly simple. Obviously, if a man isn’t willing to engage in an honest and compassionate way, then the tenants of the book fall useless. That doesn’t mean that they can’t be utilized to enhance a high value relationship. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/05/21 06:33 AM |
| 20 | Should I cut this friend off? Is she a secret hater/jealous/envious?I don’t know that you necessarily need to cut her off, but if I were you, I’d definitely come back with a self confident attitude every time she makes these little comments. For example the comment about wanting you to continue working out because y’all are going to Miami - I’d throw my head back and laugh and say that I’m so glad I’m already comfortable in a bathing suit. That I’m glad I am comfortable/confident enough in my body to wear a bathing suit regardless of whether I go to the gym or n… | /r/askFDS | 30/05/21 04:50 AM |
| 6 | Can we talk about this concept for a minute and why it should bother you as a woman?I agree. Of course, as we know, men can find ways to take anything and use it to their advantage to be abusive. Desiring sex doesn’t equate to ‘physical touch’ in the sense of the love languages. That doesn’t discount the whole book, because the concept as a whole makes a lot of sense and is applicable. I love this sub, but sometimes we are too quick to jump on things simply because there is a way for men to twist it into something bad. There is a lot to be jaded about, but we don’t need to be j… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/05/21 04:15 AM |
| 80 | Can we talk about this concept for a minute and why it should bother you as a woman?The point of the book is the ways in which people most strongly receive and give love. All are important in a relationship, yes, but it’s not about picking and choosing. It’s what means the most to you. To me, a gift or act of service is nice, but is nothing compared to how I feel when someone says something loving or appreciative to me. Or, when my partner touches me, whether it’s sex or his arm around me. I think a lot of these comments are missing the point of the concept. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/05/21 02:18 AM |
| 7 | Can we talk about this concept for a minute and why it should bother you as a woman?I disagree with these interpretations of the book. Yes, it’s a fallacy to say that physical touch only refers to sex while neglecting other forms of touch. Men’s individual misinterpretations/abuse of the concept of love languages does not mean that the whole idea that we give and receive love in certain ways is wonky. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/05/21 02:15 AM |
| 17 | What do you do when you remember your ex?I think about all the shit they put me through, get angry, and then think about how much better my life is without them. | /r/askFDS | 30/05/21 01:49 AM |
| 12 | How would you ever be able to trust him again? Disgusting.Absolutely fucking reprehensible. I would chop his you-know-what off if this were my man. Also, like others have said, this is only the first time he’s been caught. No respectable man would 1) be looking in his wife’s sister’s hidden photos or 2) decide they should be in his possession. What a fucking lowlife. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/05/21 01:06 AM |
| 106 | Listen to Men when They Tell You Who You Are: A Story about a Pickme in the WildIt’s absolutely wild that a 30+ year old man would have that kind of attitude towards his future family, and be so confident in his rightness that he would express this openly to his girlfriend. As if women don’t already make huge sacrifices - our comfort, pre-baby bodies, time, money - to have a child to begin with. I hope she leaves his sorry ass, and he finds deep lifelong fulfillment with his gym time. 🤡 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/05/21 10:47 PM |
| 10 | Dating someone with a deceased ex.Having dated someone with a deceased ex, I definitely see this as a potential red flag. Of course the tragedy of these circumstances never goes away - but you grieve, process, and move on eventually. The hard part about looking at it from the outside is that the heaviness of the situation will often overshadow the reality of their relationship / his flaws, and will derail your efforts to vet him as far as what went on in that relationship, and perhaps other areas as well. You’re not going to be … | /r/askFDS | 24/05/21 05:19 PM |
| 6 | Podcast feedback from men: "hate fan mail"The fact that they’ve likely been lurking on FDS for a decent length of time and still think that you want or need their input is actually hilarious. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/05/21 05:43 AM |
| 5 | Done with my LV bossThank you, and good for you too. It’s definitely so important to not just leave, but also expose these toxic environments. Hopefully it saves someone else the trouble. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/05/21 05:56 PM |
| 4 | Done with my LV bossThank you, and congrats on getting out of your situation as well. I believe it - I am certainly confident that I can pack up my sh*t and go elsewhere without missing a paycheck. 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/05/21 05:54 PM |
| 11 | Done with my LV bossThe funny part is that he told one of his bros (who used to work there, and who I spoke to after it happened) that he fired me, while telling his boss that I quit. I would file, but part of my MO is always to just go out and get a better job immediately, because my skills are in high demand. I had an interview a few hours after I quit and have a paid working interview tonight. I will definitely be even more picky with my next workplace. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/05/21 05:51 PM |
| 20 | Done with my LV bossThank you, and yes exactly! These big headed managers are going to have to learn one way or another that their businesses won’t succeed if they continue to treat their people like crap. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/05/21 05:47 PM |
| 12 | Done with my LV bossThank you, yes it is an awful feeling. And yeah, I’m positive he thought the situation was ‘case closed’ haha. But, homie don’t play that sh*t. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/05/21 05:46 PM |
| 10 | Done with my LV bossThank you for the kind words - I definitely had to battle doubting myself and being forced into an uncomfortable position to handle this. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/05/21 05:44 PM |
| 8 | Done with my LV bossThank you. I don’t even want him fired tbh, just seriously humbled haha. You can’t treat your key employees like sh*t and expect that they’ll just tuck their tail between their legs and run off - I know what I’m worth. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/05/21 05:42 PM |
| 1 | FDS principles lands on a political news channel. A few FDS’ers in the comments defending this woman for setting standards. So many complaining dinner is expensive and she’s a gold digger for the bare minimum.Absolutely hilarious. When the guy says “the private jet cinched it, she’s a gold digger” - WHAT? She clearly has her own money and is looking for a man on her level. I feel like I’ve lost several IQ points after watching this 😒 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/05/21 09:31 PM |
| 7 | Men are oblivious to how they ruin their families with their porn-soaked sexual greed. Dude asked why his wife appliance broke. Saw this gem in the comments. He spent hours on Tinder, but he had no time for helping his kids with their homework and now he wants he wants HER to "act like an adult".I like that made an edit saying it “wasn’t only his idea” to try an open marriage. Like dude... seriously? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/05/21 08:59 PM |
| 2 | The bar is on the groundLike... how can you be so happy about that? It’d be disturbing if he didn’t. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/05/21 01:58 AM |
| 6 | Can I hear some success stories?What really changed my mindset was my last ex, and when I found FDS everything really fell into place. I realized that men can and will lie indefinitely in order to keep me around, so I started observing the men I “dated” way more closely. I never ignore a red flag and always flesh out the small issues when they come up. If a man has the wrong answers or gets upset when I talk about these things, I make a hard left. I realized that someone who is seriously interested in me, and able to meet my s… | /r/askFDS | 08/05/21 11:40 PM |
| 6 | Creepy men taking pictures of young women will never be okay.That’s exactly what it is, it’s fucking traumatic. Good on you for getting out friend. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/05/21 04:21 PM |
| 253 | Creepy men taking pictures of young women will never be okay.Oh god, I found creep shots (among other things) in one of my ex’s phones. My stomach dropped so hard. It’s hard to conceptualize the level of depravity that compels someone to do something like this. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/05/21 03:21 AM |
| 15 | Don’t tell men about your standardsDefinitely why it’s important to listen to your intuition. If there are off vibes or it’s not working early on, let that shit go clean. 👋🏼 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/05/21 02:48 AM |
| 2 | Thoughts on changing your name when you get married?I’ve always thought I’d want to hyphenate and see if my husband would be willing to do the same. My current bf and I both have 4 syllable last names though, so I’m not sure anymore. 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/05/21 07:59 PM |
| 10 | Being a simp in your Pickmeism?I’ve been the same way historically. It’s hard not to go overboard when you feel strongly about someone, and I’m a very affectionate person who always wants to spend time with their SO. The way I’m approaching this issue in my current relationship is to keep in the front of my mind that I am still actively vetting him, and that he could become my ex at the drop of a hat if I decide I’ve found a dealbreaker. I don’t stifle my affections, but I keep a mindset that I am doing what’s best for me no … | /r/askFDS | 02/05/21 10:30 AM |
| 3 | My heart won’t stop hurting. My courtship ended and I don’t understand why he walked away.Because he’s a piece of sh*t, girl. That’s the best way to compartmentalize it. He was the wrong guy, and he’s not the only guy out there who will ever like you or feel things for you. If we’re being real, you’re lucky that he walked away, because it sounds like you were willing to accept a lot of behaviors that showed that he doesn’t value you or see a future with you. It sucks not being the one who makes that call, but everything happens for a reason. The best thing you can do is take this dud… | /r/askFDS | 29/04/21 10:29 PM |
| 7 | What advice would you give to somebody who has never dated someone with an ex??I think the biggest red flag is if they talk very much about their exes at all. Like the first comment said, I would only talk to an ex if I was on the way out and needed to confirm something. I would just listen to how and how much he talks about them and make judgement calls about that. | /r/askFDS | 29/04/21 10:12 PM |
| 2 | Am I being too nitpicky/sensitive?I find wink faces creepy too lol. Honestly though, when it comes to OLD, I stop responding at any weird vibe/sign, big or small. I think that if something good is going to come of OLD, it’s going to feel natural and have only positive signs from the get-go. Trust your intuition for sure, we sense these things for a reason. Also, as for guy #2, he’s definitely just keeping you as an option and it’d be worth your while to just block him, imo. | /r/askFDS | 29/04/21 09:51 PM |
| 1 | That's what you get when you build a manI have to agree, of course not judging the women who do it, but forreal. 😒 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/04/21 08:09 PM |
| 8 | My heart won’t stop hurting. My courtship ended and I don’t understand why he walked away.A Low Value Male - there’s a lot about signs to watch out for in the FDS handbook (the main sub). A lot of things you described about this guy are low-value behaviors that suggest you would have been in for a lot more BS in the future if you continued to date him. | /r/askFDS | 28/04/21 08:22 PM |
| 6 | My heart won’t stop hurting. My courtship ended and I don’t understand why he walked away.I’m sorry this happened to you, I know how hard it is to let go of the idea of a potential relationship with someone. I think it’s really important to remember that male attention is not special or valuable, ESPECIALLY LVM attention (which it’s obvious this guy is). When you find someone you don’t have to put up with all that BS from, you’ll be so glad you didn’t settle for this guy. | /r/askFDS | 28/04/21 08:17 PM |
| 17 | That's what you get when you build a manReally though, any man who will look to elicit a laugh from his friends at your expense will do and say much worse later in the relationship; he’s making it clear already that he doesn’t respect you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/04/21 06:23 PM |
| 127 | That's what you get when you build a manHonestly though. Imo your partner should always be the most attractive person in the room to you, for the reasons shelballama said - it is more than physical looks or whether you’re dolled up, because you chose this person. I went to a music event with my BF recently, had just gotten off work and was wearing his t-shirt tied up, my work shoes, glasses, etc. Didn’t realize all his female friends would be present, dressed to party, faces beat, looking completely stunning. I’m still working through… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/04/21 06:17 PM |
| 19 | If you’re broke, just say thatLol I think about this every time I see a post from a woman whose date makes her Venmo him $2.50 when they get coffee. My boyfriend won’t even think about letting me touch the check. I know finances take a different tone once you’re married and whatnot, but when you’re dating? Bare minimum he should not be a stingy mf. If he can’t afford to date, then he needs to get his life together first, imho. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/04/21 03:00 AM |
| 42 | Weird Red Flags?Right? Like I’ll talk for thirty seconds about something that interests me while they smile and nod, then proceed to go back to talking about themselves. Like who raised you? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/21 07:56 PM |
| 133 | Weird Red Flags?I don’t know if these are obscure enough, but - Only talking about things that interest them (going on and on about cars - I don’t know what you’re talking about/am not interested in this conversation and you don’t notice? Pass). Their opinion on male influencers who are caught in sexual abuse scandals. When keeping up with their social media is more important than your feelings. Watching movies with obviously misogynistic content that they don’t recognize. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/21 06:37 PM |
| 5 | Set some boundaries and 💥BOOM💥 His head exploded.I’m sorry, it really sucks when an alleged HVM turn out to be a LVM. I’m always sus of any man who will call a woman he cares about a bitch. 🤷🏽♀️ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/04/21 12:05 AM |
| 19 | Let's NOT even think of this, let's normalize not feeling like a victim for buying the love of your life a decent ring and proposing in a good manner, let's normalise that.The fact that his feet aren’t even facing her... those nonverbals though 🤦🏽♀️ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/04/21 04:06 AM |
| 3 | Is not asking for a ‘got home safe’ text a bad sign?He does wait until I’m inside (when he’s dropped me off) or in my car (when I’m leaving his house). He asked a couple times after I made it a point to ask (I was without a car for a week so he gave me rides home), but after that if I’m leaving from his house as usual he doesn’t ask. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/04/21 12:01 PM |
| 5 | Of course Reddit somehow convinced her this obvious case of porn sickness is ok...I can’t even imagine being so invested in porn that you follow a certain director. Ffs. I really hope that woman is trolling 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/04/21 02:54 AM |
| 2 | Creepy guy I ghosted, never dated, still mad months later 😂I actually laughed out loud, thank you for that | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/04/21 09:30 PM |
| 8 | How is ass guy and boob guy a thing but a height/ abs/ beard gal is not?I’m an arms person, I don’t really have one type but I simp for some strong arms 😏 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/04/21 04:11 AM |
| 4 | ❗️LVM manipulation tactics❗️The absolute worst. When someone shows you where you are on their list of priorities 😒 Good on you for ending it | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/04/21 03:55 AM |
| 1 | David Dobrik apology video and controversyI agree, and it’s also creepy how many guys are able to frame themselves just right and put out enough “good” that people willingly ignore the bad. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/04/21 06:35 PM |
| 2 | Women who give “ugly guys” a chance should stop acting like they’re being charitableLmao, whatever you say dude. I don’t think much of anyone who marks people down in categories of “ugly” or “out of so and so’s league”. It shows a lack of depth in understanding of people. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/21 02:59 PM |
| -2 | Women who give “ugly guys” a chance should stop acting like they’re being charitableLmao so incel-y it hurts | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/21 02:04 AM |
| 1 | What would you have said to a guy who told you this?A couple years ago, my ex (32 at the time) told me that he had sex with a 12 year old when he was 22 (in that same gross context where he was lowkey proud to have such an outlandish story to tell), citing the same old “I couldn’t tell, she was hanging out older girls, etc” saying he thought she was 16. And I was like the fuck? You thought it was a green light that she was 16? I asked if he slept with her after he knew her age and he said yes, because he didn’t want her to get mad and tell her pa… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/04/20 08:38 AM |
| 4 | I’m totes fine being singleI feel this so hard. Fuck them shitty relationships and anyone who’s ever made you feel less than. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/04/20 12:08 PM |
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