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elainejay82 Archive

View 3 posts and 994 comments by elainejay82 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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22

She is so funny and so. damn. ON. 👏 POINT. 👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/22 11:46 PM
3

One of the most HVW I've ever known would ask for recent test papers and if the guy couldn't provide any he got dropped. The looks on their faces when they realized she was serious was some of the best shit I've ever seen in my lifetime. Think about it... if he's not keeping up on his sexual health on his own but is expecting to have sex... the dude is all the way around dangerously useless. One time a guy told me he had been recently tested, but I didn't think to ask for papers. My dumb pickme …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/22 07:03 AM
4

I know I've definitely made dating mistakes in my lifetime (that list is long), but I could neverrrr for a second put up with this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/22 06:56 AM
12

Interesting! I've lived couple places where women outnumber men, and men in these spots always acted like trash about it. Many of them would often bring it up like, "Heh heheh so much p*ssy because women outnumber men here. Perfect place to live." Blah blah blah. Never connected how much raunchier this mere fact makes them outwardly act.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/22 06:53 AM
16

Yet they're so ridiculous that they can't live without us, can't leave us alone or stop trying to dupe us into some joke of a relationship or stop trying to get in our pants, benefit from our kindness generally daily in some capacity, and can't connect that their daughters will grow up to be women one day. They would probably be spewing fumes if they heard any man talked about her as if she needed to be a commodity who "produced" like a workhorse in a relationship because just being and keeping …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/22 06:43 AM
186

My scrote ass, NVM 62 year old neighbor told me he's been watching that show and said things along the lines of: "WHaT BeNeFIt dO MEn eVeN hAVE iN GEttInG mARriED AnYMore? Men don't want to get married these days and I don't blame them!" exclaimed the scrote. In my mind I'm like... Yeah, buddy...there are 200,000 + of us at least who generally are not prioritizing marrying at all, let alone below our standards where most men fall. Also, sorry for no longer wanting to be your bangmaids who get ch…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/22 03:33 PM
21

This was my trust fund boyfriend in a 13 year relationship at every job I had since I was 16 years old. It would start and he would start all kinds of shit at work for me and make things difficult. Hot tip: he turned out to be extremely covertly controlling and covertly punishful with me. These things he did in the beginning, where I was too young to recognize what was going on, were the first signs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/22 02:21 PM
59

OP you really need to read the handbook and especially check out the portion on negging. This guy is mentally dangerous for you to be around. Dumb fox has nothing to do with his behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/22 02:19 PM
108

I wouldn't be giving any info about your goals, because his brain is going into overdrive into how he can sabotage them for you when you mention them. This dude is a full on creep who deserves a hard block. He probably doesn't see you as a "priss" but wants you to think he sees you that way so you work hard to prove you're not. You're already wrapped up into a weird mental game with him, one in which you don't quite understand the (his) rules, so he is inevitably going to win. Tap out. This guy …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/22 04:33 AM
280

He's starting with complements now but that will flip. I've made the mistake of falling for this before. Your gut is steering you right. He will become very competitive with you if he keep him around in any capacity and even worse, will probably try to sabotage your climbing and goals in life. IME it goes like this. He feels a little threatened by your position in life (obviously this one does). He then decides somewhere in his little pea brain that he has to crush that and work to break you dow…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/22 04:29 AM
115

This is one of my favorite topics as of late! Not only that, but mistakes happen and kids can happen even when you didn't plan on it. Any time and every time I can talk about the cost of the "invisible" labor of women, I jump on it. The reason I put it in quotation marks is because it's not invisible. Men see us exhausted, men know we put tons of emotional labor and thought into everything, men know that SAH moms work their asses off (any dude trying to convince you they don't understand the pur…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/22 12:29 AM
15

Yep! By itself it's not a HV trait and the proof is there that the man ended up being NVM. Him even saying this could be an indicator, especially if there are women he "let" give him bjs in the past. That just shows he's fine with making women uncomfortable for his sexual benefit. Gross. I'm happy he opened my eyes to the fact that men can really view blowjobs this way, though. It was a huge eye-opening moment for me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/22 08:54 PM
132

One of my latest scrotes actually never let me give him a blow job. This blew my mind in half. He eventually told me he respects me too much and would feel bad making me do it. If that doesn't tell you how men look at blow jobs, I don't know what will. The oral from him was by far the best I've ever received and he performed it on me often. I cannot stress the word often enough. This dude raised the bar for all scrotes to follow and I won't be giving blowjobs anymore, even though I used to like …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/22 07:41 AM
8

You're so right about this. I have been so great to men in the past by teaching them about taking Epsom salt baths, taking care of their skin to avoid later complications, etc etc etc. It always backfired on me. These scrotes would go buy nicer bath stuff for themselves and wave it in my face. I even got one guy into doing yoga and he would go on and on to people about it. I view yoga as a very personal practice yet with him it became a pissing match and opened up the neverending male bragging l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/22 04:47 AM
28

Yep! The comment of all comments! The emotional and nurturing labor of women is absolutely invaluable, cannot be measured, and is everything...and society deems it worth almost nothing and barely ever gives it a mention. It's mind boggling! Yet, zero people on this earth would be here without it. WHat dO yOu bRinG tO tHe tablE? Sir, I am the seed of the wood that eventually built the whole house that the table resides in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/22 03:17 AM
109

There’s an inherent value in femaleness. I would even say that the very best of men are still below that inherent value because of the female ability to create new life. Obviously not everyone wants kids, but that doesn’t erase the biological facts of what it means to be male or female This is really IT right here. We are just more valuable for this reason. And you know what? Good men know it. HVM know it. It's only absolute scrotes who would ever put themselves above decent women. We create lif…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/22 04:54 PM
160

What pisses me off the most is when men use this as in, "Why would a guy cheat on ______?" <--- insert girl's name he thinks is hot here. There are so many wrong things with this statement and when you hear it from a guy, you just knoooow he is NV. It gets me thinking, okay so good looking women don't get cheated on? Has this guy been awake for the span of his lifetime or...? Say he is with somebody, but somebody he deems better looking comes along...he would probably cheat, right? Since looks a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/22 12:07 AM
79

This is such a great post! I was in a relationship that sucked the absolute life out of me like this a few years ago. Dude was abusive. It derailed my life as well! After taking a break from dating, focusing on my career, reading any and everything I could about situations like this, I landed my dream job, moved out of state, and I'm beyond pleased to say I'm starting a masters program on May 16th. Just wanted to share how life-changing it can be to take a break from men and prioritize YOU. A ma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/22 10:48 PM
67

If you sign up for being involved with a guy like this, get ready for triangulation to the high heavens! You will eventually lose any self esteem you had before and that's the end game for guys who keep harems. They want to break you down into never feeling like you are enough. That's why those women are there and why Narcissistic men keep a harem in the first place, to get you all to compete for him or make it look like he is worth pursuing since so many women are interested in him, but it will…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/22 02:14 AM
120

Keep. Your. Routines. Your yoga time cannot be put to the side, your hiking shouldn't be put to the side, etc etc. during dating. On Sundays I cook up a storm for the week, I do yoga every night during the week, Saturdays during the day I hike and shop, and I work a regular 9 to 5. Thursday is luxurious bath night and laundry. So that leaves very little time for a scrote to make time with me. Basically Saturday nights or a Wednesday. On Friday nights I'm too wiped from work to do much and I'll u…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/22 11:20 PM
249

Omg if you ever really want to test your relationship with a man, put some ikea furniture together 🤣. This simple act will break most relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/22 04:40 AM
185

I once had a dude tell me I should have a concubine of 8 men trailing behind me. Nice way to spill your personal fantasies to me, guy. I was offended at first but realized it was just him speaking through me. They're just mad that we could actually do all of this if we wanted to. 🤣 It's hard to have a concubine of 8 women trailing behind you when you look like a bridge troll.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/22 11:44 PM
62

It's funny cuz the real problem is that scrotes won't leave us alone, so we have to vet them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/22 11:39 PM
62

You know it was a short dude living in mom's basement with no job.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/22 11:38 PM
49

This is hilarious! 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/22 11:37 PM
2

Ahhh. YESSS! You cannot win with these types. It's like they manifest their own prophecy with this crap. So if you even hear the word "Golddigger" just get out because in his mind, he's going to make you out to be one too. It's like they can't stop creating this hell for themselves. I've actually lived this. Was super patient for a long time just thinking I needed to "prove" myself. He had at some point told me to quit working, but I refused and stayed on my career path. At the end of it all, he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/22 01:45 AM
69

Oooooof. This hits home with my longest running relationship. Dude was a carrot dangler. He would act so soft and use this phrase when he messed up with me. Never thought of it this way, but absolutely the behavior NEVER changed. Great post OP! Taking notes...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/22 05:45 AM
40

For women asking for dating advice, most of whom show no knowledge of the handbook, shouldn't those posts go to ask FDS sub? That's another big one I feel is bringing down the quality of the content here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/22 04:02 PM
38

This should probably go to ask FDS sub.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/22 04:01 PM
37

🏆 You get it! 🤣 Of COURSE he would have... So I mentioned it a few times and let it go but I wanted to reem his ass forever over it. Men have very feeble egos, but I feel like old scrotes are even worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/22 04:00 AM
131

That first pic has been me with the worst of my past scrotes. I get pissed though. 😂 Like really frustrated, not nice, piss ant, snarky, rude, mean. I think it's just a natural reaction because it wasn't something I was doing consciously. I just.... wasn't nice to them after that. 🤣 And a part of me always felt bad about being that way afterwards because I thought, "Oh.. it's hard to make women cum, blah blah." But that's not actually true. When I think about it, these guys were giving me half a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/22 03:45 AM
95

Ahhh. So what is it about old scrotes who do this. I, too, dated a man about 20 years older (I know 🤡 ) and he was also this way with me. Everything was a competition and a pissing match, but at the end of the day, I was still younger LMAO. Funny story about this one... he's a shitty driver, like real shitty. One time we took a drive to a ritzy tourist spot for a nice dinner and I complained a bit about his driving on the way. He went on a rant like, "Blah blah I have never been in a wreck blah …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/22 03:32 AM
17

Yep. It's the opposite of a complement. If it's anything outside of just casting his general scrote net to many women, he actually thinks you are stupid enough to go for it again. That's not a complement. The man actually thinks your are an idiot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/22 04:22 PM
126

He's an everyday sadist. Seriously. He wanted to poke and prod at her hoping she'd react atleast somewhat negatively. Probably wanted to see the sour look on her face or watch her facial reaction turn to "hurt he would do that to her." Secondarily, he wanted to see of she would still go for it, aka, if she's the type that is easy to manipulate or emotionally abuse. Checking her boundaries. If OP gave him a breadcrumb of okaying this, this type of behavior would have snowballed and she would have…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/22 04:12 PM
11

Ehhh. Most men I've met see it as a challenge if they want you and you are taken. It becomes a male dance off like birds on the Discovery Channel. If they can prove alpha they'll think they're something special. Then they drop the girl because they never cared about her in the first place and only wanted to get one over on another male.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/22 06:22 AM
135

Bingo. OP, don't get the whole butterfly pavilion in your stomach over this guy just because he was decent to start in comparison to the others who didn't do this for you. It can really put some blinders on us to idealize stuff we never got from men before. Keep your head on your shoulders and vet this guy like you mean it. He did bare bones but I'm glad you finally had a pleasant date. If you're blaming yourself after every date that goes wrong or picking yourself apart, take a step back from d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/22 06:13 AM
18

I've pretty much learned that whatever a guy says about another girl (in the beginning especially) the opposite is true. They talk in code. I don't like that body shape. - That's my favorite type. She's just a friend. - I slept with her and hope to do it again. I can't stand so and so's gf/wife! - I love her. My ex really wants me back. - She dumped my ass and doesn't want anything to do with me and it hurts my pp's fee fees.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/22 06:04 AM
239

LOL. 🤣 How many ways is there to say, "I don't know how to please my woman at all and I'm overweight and gross af."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/22 05:53 AM
101

If you think about it, they are basically saying women shouldn't live past 30... Have no "use" past 30, aren't loveable or fuckable after 30, can't make children after 30. When you put it that way, you realize just how sick "the wall" really is. They do not feel we should even be alive after 30. The earth should only have 20 somethings and younger galavanting around for their mere amusement.Are they all pedophilic in tendency? If women don't have anything to live for after 30 if single, we shoul…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/22 04:43 AM
8

Ah yep. You're totally right. A lot of times the abuser will turn your support system against you, too, so a support system can be counteractive in that case.. and then you have to get away from them too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/22 12:50 AM
3

AMAZING POINT. 👏 probably the ring and the house for the next girl.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 11:39 PM
2

I'm not really sure of the context here, but just based off the way this guy looks and looks at her, I don't think this is a positive thing. But either way, this is a good time to talk about how this is EXACTLY what the beginnings of a controlling and abusive relationship would look like, too. It starts off with the guy seemingly doing nice things or giving nice input to her, but the underlying current is one of control. For example, "Don't hang out with those people. I don't think they are good…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 07:31 PM
172

I have seen this my whole life with women who work at bars. You ladies are targeted hard by the general scrotes who come in and hawk the place. Because you usually have to be cordial since they are customers, it can put you all in a very weird spot. Being cordial to them as a customer leaves you very little room to get out of this spot. They think the cordialness is "special" and that there's something there. Have you considered just working to get comfortable with being a "bitch"? These dudes a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 02:52 PM
47

Yep! They are on there for the sole reason to spin plates and get more notches on their bedpost, and women are willingly serving themselves up to them while actually looking for love. Men on there are NOT looking for love!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 02:35 PM
15

I never went 50/50 with any of them but I have dated some seriously rich dudes. One of them was self made and the other was a trust fund kid. The trust fund boy was EXACTLY THIS POST, but he seemingly treated me like gold on the outside looking in. High end gifts, lavish vacations, snowboarding, snorkeling...you name it we did it and I didn't have to pay for anything. HOWEVER, we had been together for a long time and I started realizing I was not in on the finances of our household at all, never…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 02:25 PM
56

Ahhh. I love this! Showing your true feelings to a guy once you decide it's over will only make you look like a fool. And trust me, they are revelling in the fact that they caused you pain because in their gross minds, it means you care about them. It's essentially friendzoning them, which they hate! Taking notes...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 01:52 PM
41

Or decade for that matter. All I can think is "Fuck yeah, Renee!" 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 05:50 AM
103

Wow, scrotes really be out here talking shit about a girl who fosters children, is a nurse, travels, and looks like an absolute goddess. What an idiot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 04:53 AM
85

Awesome and intriguing read! I once read about a study where dogs who had been shocked enough would not leave an open cage. This is why it's nonsensical to ask "Why didn't she just leave?" about an abuse victim. I really like how the article mentioned that having a supportive community of people can help you heal. This is another reason why abuse victims stay stuck in the cycles of abuse. They have more than likely been isolated with the guy or isolated away from a support system by him for quit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 04:48 AM
104

🌟🌟🌟🌠 Next time get the dime! 🌠🌟🌟🌟
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 02:20 AM
8

Don't do the age gap and please read the handbook.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 01:59 AM
82

Came here to ask this. There is none? She let a creepy guy, whom was very clear about wanting to have sex with her and for her to cheat, think they were friends and then he started hitting on other girls and it stunned her? OP did you want him to pine over you? Did you really think you were friends or something after he made his intentions so clear? The strategy should have been ignore him and report to the gym, quietly, that he was bothering you while working out or any variation of this would …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 01:49 AM
136

Girrrl, you aren't the only one laughing!!!! I'm laughing my entire ass off over here. 🤣🤣🤣 I still have to see him too. Real fun, but in my head I hear circus music when I see him. Dead. Just totally dead over this one! He probably needs a straight jacket, really. Therapy won't help the man. ☠️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/22 11:09 PM
156

This is a weird way of saying, "I haven't let my ex go, I'm concsiously making a decision to cheat on my wife, I know it's wrong (but I'm doing it anyway), and I need someone out there to feel terrible for me to absolve me of guilt." The mental gymnastics here are unbearable. He is a complete trainwreck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/22 07:21 PM
509

Cuz he's about to cheat and he's hoping someone on Reddit will excuse his behavior. Also! I have been through the gamut of men keeping exes around. Never again. ✌️. But story time of a most recent scrote I dropped who showed a similar issue.. wait till you hear this shit.. This dude... out of nowhere, 6 months in and things going well, seems like he's breaking plans he made with me out of nowhere and is shrugging them off with no real answer for me about why. I'm like meh, I don't like inconsist…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/22 07:17 PM
57

He was honest with the girl from the beginning. Seems like she thought she could "change his mind." Playing pickme "I can change his mind" doesn't pay. The only time men tell the truth is when they tell you they are busy (aka I don't want you around), don't want kids, or don't want marriage. They mean that shit so listen up when they spill it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/22 05:58 PM
156

I wake up to my cute ass dog wagging his tail, happy to see me, excited for a new day instead of some stinky, snoring man hogging the covers. It's totally glorious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/22 03:46 PM
42

Woah, sis!!! I wouldn't be able to handle this at all. I'm so glad you got yourself out of that. ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/22 03:44 PM
54

Start yoga as soon as you can! It's going to really really help your mental state. Even if it's just easy stretches at night. Yoga with Adriene on YT has great stuff to start. Also, GOOD. FOR. YOU!!!!! You'll see in time what a wonderful choice you made for yourself, even though it's tough right now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/22 02:20 PM
12

Yep! NVM absolutely LOVE sucking your energy out of you this way and keeping your attention on them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/22 09:55 PM
21

I followed older female family members' footsteps in being this way for a long time. I wasn't aggressive necessarily, but I always tried to stand up for myself. What I noticed is quiet HVM liked this about me and pursued me because it was obvious I had a backbone, but I still chose fuckbois instead who liked to have neverending witty banter back and forth. I was raised in a family of "Can't you take a joke?" while they ripped you apart, so I developed this as a defense mechanism I think. It's ok…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/22 07:39 PM
73

Nice job, OP! I think it can be really telling if we still "fear" something going into dating. We should have our ducks SO in a row and our boundaries SO strong that there will be nothing to fear because you know how to handle yourself and look out for yourself. If you still have some fear left, there might be more work to do before you're ready to date. Also, I recently dropped a scrote out of my scrotation and it was the most eye opening experience this time around after going full FDS for a c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/22 03:05 PM
8

Also, OP. Not sure why you would tell him you don't know what a man with a plan looks like. You do. You're HV af and you know exactly what a man with a plan looks like, don't let them think otherwise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/22 02:51 PM
32

Oof! Nice work to the man who proposed!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/22 06:39 AM
36

These two should have been divorced a long time ago. Also, he was laughing at first? If he truly cared, at all, he wouldn't have been smiling at the joke in the first place. It's all junk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/22 04:14 AM
29

Should posts like this go to the ask FDS sub? There have been so many of these lately I feel like I'm in the relationship advice sub sometimes!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/22 01:09 AM
8

Oops! Typo LOL... and a bad one. Was supposed to be NVM HVM would never pull this s*.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 08:57 PM
2

I know flashbacks aren't false with mushrooms because I had them. Any LSD taker who used recreationally has also told me the same with the LSD. I stand corrected on the spinal fluid, and I wasn't thinking of it in terms of being connected to "flashbacks" or the feeling of tripping again out of nowhere. Overuse of DMT can burn out receptors. I grew up around and was surrounded in college by avid pot smokers, so I'm just talking about what I've noticed with them. It's of course going to be differe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 07:23 PM
10

Yeah I feel like when *NVM sense when we are angsty to make a plan, make a date, they realize they have the upperhand and they're going to act like jerks with it. Which is what this guy did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 02:59 PM
185

What a tool this one is! Don't make yourself sound so open or free with time next time. You're busy, dating is an afterthought compared to all the stuff you have to do in a day, etc etc. Give some general time frames you are free but make your time scarce for the dude. This could deter LVM because they see you prioritize yourself, aren't putting dating on such a pedestal (therefore not putting him on a pedestal), and it will make the good ones work a little harder and put in real effort to get s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 01:00 AM
3

Hope she got picked 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 12:55 AM
53

Kind of a weird one because we don't want most of our closeness to be forming via text. Would be a lot different if he was calling you throughout the week and planning dates in advance. Then you probably wouldn't even want the texting so much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 12:29 AM
86

I don't think these are great spots to be getting the type of convo you want as it seems to be a continuous issue for you therefore a huge time suck for you. Not being rude, I just know you've posted about chatting this way a few times and that it's not really working out so well for you. Why stick yourself in places that L and NVM cling to to pull the tricks you're talking about? What about an all girls chat to pass the time? Don't give men warnings about seconds or a time frame. Just block the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 12:22 AM
6

Yes, I think in some states they are actually prescribing mushrooms in small doses now! Here's a pretty good breakdown of effects on the brain with DMT. If you are using recreationally, it would probably burn out your receptors meaning your ability to get or stay happy. https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-news/what-psychedelics-really-do-to-your-brain-112948/ Definitely MJ has its benefits, especially in comparison to pills!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/22 09:08 PM
32

There is a lot of research with psychedelics relieving depression and it's absolutely worked for me in the past, but I think I would be weirded out if a guy my age was doing them off and on. That's a lot to be just doing recreationally on the weekends or whatever. If a guy was doing it maybe once every two years I wouldn't be alarmed, but just as a way to kick back? No. I've seen the repercussions of this. They are mind-warping drugs, regardless of positive effects on the psyche when used in sta…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/22 08:15 AM
20

You bring up a really good point OP that I was actually thinking about today in another weird way. I'm so happy I know how to change the oil in my car, do car small end car maintenance, keep the thing running, take care of it, and it got me thinking about how we should know every aspect of our belongings and finances like this as women. I was in a LTR with a guy for 13 years and he handled all finances. I was a complete moron about money when that ended not to mention he took total advantage of …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/22 07:34 AM
5

Have recently heard a NVM say you can spot a good woman because she is the one clipping coupons even if she doesn't have to and WHEW did that tell me a lot about him! So you want your girl busy with mundane shit that she doesn't have to do to save a penny here and there? Also, sir, do you clip coupons even if you don't have to? It's busywork and it's hard. If you are working full time and burned out everyday it's truly difficult. I'm working on revamping my furniture and looking for best deals a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/22 07:06 AM
30

The bonding! The bonding on your side, chemically, I feel puts us at an immediate disadvantage and to me it seems these chemicals just hit women harder. This is why I could never and have never done "casual" sex or FWB. I know better. Feelings evolve from it whether you want them to or not. I once waited six months to have sex with a HVM I was exclusive with and he obliged. He wanted it, of course, but actually felt I was enough of a treat to wait for. Good men WILL wait until you're ready. It's…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/22 06:44 AM
44

Yep. I only know this because it's been used on me a million x. Have you read the handbook? There's great advice in there about why we want to avoid this. It's falsifying intimacy on the dude's part. Most NVM really do play from the same book, hence the reason the advice you receive here is invaluable. It's going to play out with the entire scrote kingdom. Men have no trouble voicing what they want. There is no such thing as a shy guy when it comes to a woman he wants to pursue. He will let her …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/22 08:53 AM
86

You made it too easy for him to believe he deserved the package he didn't order in the first place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/22 03:49 AM
112

The fact that he tried to do this via FB messenger when you guys see eachother often tells you all you need to know. A HVM won't play games via texting or messaging like this. He will ask you out to your face. Don't indulge these games from a man. All it does is set you up to overindulge and it sets them up to mirror whatever you are telling them without you gauging the truth in person. There's a reason they use texting and messaging like this. It makes it way way way too easy for them. Don't ha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/22 03:42 AM
150

That's the thing... If you stay he's lost any semblance of respect for you. Seriously, in their minds they are thinking, "Wow. I can do anything to this girl. She has no spine." And it's a huge turn off for them even though they caused the issue to begin with. Men continuously put us in these tough spots where if we leave, it hurts... we are in pain, we have to truck on... and if we stay he somehow loses even more respect for us and we end up the 🌟 🌟 Super Chump 🌟 🌟 who lost the upperhand and no…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/22 08:45 PM
256

I accidentally ended up on a thirst trap rabbit hole on IG the other and it blew my mind in two ways. First of all, what tf are women even doing anymore?!!!!!! Slipping their asses out at clothing stores while someone films, etc etc. I mean, just GROSS and thirsty. Secondly, the scrotes on my followers list... One of the scrotes on my IG whom I thought was kinda cute was liking over and over what is basically porn. Don't think he's married but still, wtf... deleted and blocked immediately. Anoth…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/22 08:33 PM
245

Funny because I was thinking tonight about how literally ALL scrotes throughout my life have told me that I don't get how beautiful I am and how men seek that quality in a woman. Turns out, though, they were all NV or LVM who preyed on me because I had this quality. I wouldn't believe that it were even true coming from them if it weren't for complements I receive outside of scrotedom. Scrotes saw me as naive and I was and they used that to their full advantage. So listen up! You neeeeed to under…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/22 07:07 AM
21

I find my idea of God on my yoga mat everyday! I took it up to get fit, but was blindsided by how amazing it was for my mental well-being and now I can't stop. If I skip a couple days I immediately feel a downshift in my psyche. HIGHLY recommend! Yoga with Adriene on YouTube is a wonderful start. I also really love Tai Chi.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/22 11:03 PM
12

I felt this way at 30, for like a moment, until I realized my fertility wasn't draining away as quickly as society made me feel it was. That's not even real. Your best years are JUST getting started and this is a misogynistic way of making women feel they've hit the wall at 30. Sis, youR LIFE IS JUST BEGINNING... trust me! Embrace being smarter and FDS-minded at 30. You're lucky to find it at your age. Pay no mind to this bullshit. Seriously.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/22 09:40 PM
53

Yep! It is scary how well it works to keep us in line, make us feel confused/not good enough, leave us to question ourselves and our own worth. It's super insidious and one of the worst things I've ever dealt with from men. Ultra painful and ultra damaging.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/22 07:27 PM
118

To me it is any avoidance of having an important convo or giving a response to you that needs to happen. It is also going silent on you after you said/did something he doesn't like. He never tells you what you did, really either. You're left to wonder. This can look like: 1. Changing the subject 2. Flipping the script to make something your fault and avoid the topic 3. Leaving/exiting the conversation and not following up in a timely manner. Needing space is fine, but if they are just leaving yo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/22 07:25 PM
304

Exactly. It is a punishful act and is actually an indicator that you have an abuser on your hands. It's stonewalling and I don't tolerate this because I know how it ends up for me down the road.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/22 04:25 PM
57

Every single one of them tried to sleep with me and I had millions in a big group of friends I had from college. These were educated men who appeared "with it" and appeared to have morals. It took many of them 15 years to try. One got rapey and used physical force after I told him "No" a million times. He was my most trusted male friend at the time and we had been close for 15 years. I guess the 15 year mark happened because I finally was single. They all swooped in like vultures. Some had girlf…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/22 07:08 AM
43

Came here to say this. She's being abused and controlled. Hot tip: She will never reach that "ideal shape" or "fitness level." She's already there and he knows that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/22 06:59 AM
66

They're afraid using some color might actually alert everyone to the fact they are actually gay and can't face it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/22 04:14 AM
117

Faerie penguins!!! The boys build whole houses for the girls, sweep them out, line and adorn them with FLOWERS. She chooses the mate with the best house.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/22 04:11 AM
189

If they're so visual how do they not understand that their looks are far beneath most women they approach and bother?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/22 04:08 AM
20

Came here to say the same. I had a majorly stonewalling, deceitful, plotting, dude who was turning violent whom I "cheated" on but in actual fact, I was just trying to get out of the relationship and I thought that would do it. I was early 20s and didn't know wtf was going on, didn't recognize these types of abuse. He had even flipped my family to believe he was the prize and I was a nut. But I had a really hard time with what I did. Like really hard. The guilt ate me up for years and it took FO…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/22 03:56 AM
2

Still, minimum recommended entences for that were 10 years and she went lightest possible every time, can't define what a woman is, and apologizes to the families of convicted pedophiles but not to the victims themselves nor their families. You asked if we wanted her to be a radical, but that's our point. She holds radical viewpoints that are not safe for women or children. But it's okay. I'm sure those guys are no real harm after 24 months, right? I would be just as pissed if she were white. So…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/22 03:32 AM
3

Keep "not trusting white women" and I guess "white women" (you sure it's only white women who don't agree with her nomination?) will keep not trusting the paedo sympathizer who apologizes to the convicted pedophiles but not to the victim's or their families. Please read more closely into what she has done. It really is appalling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/22 03:06 AM
34

Dating a dude like this is one of the most irritating and awful things ever. You are constantly flipped back and forth between the two categories with these fuckers. If you do or want something sexual, he starts thinking you "must not be it." If you are too chaste, don't want to have sex, you are a bore to him but he keeps you around to appear normal. These guys always have the ex they can't let go, some magical unicorn of perfection (who dumped his ass lmao) that you can't live up to. Madonna/w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/22 01:44 AM
192

Wider peripheral makes sense. I love watching guys I'm seeing when they think I'm not watching because I'm actually not even looking in their direction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/22 01:15 AM
2

I really get sick of the argument that because a guy pays for everything or even just something the girl trapped in a shit situation with a shit dude is lUcKY and should stop "babbling on." It really gets old. Abusive and shit treatment is never acceptable, no matter what the female might have been gaining from the situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/22 01:11 AM
3

It's like howwww many kids and women does the dude have to touch and sniff while people turn a blind eye? I just watched the clip of Ketanji being unable to answer on what a biological woman is. She said "Not in this context. I can't." So strange because regardless of the full spectrum of masculinity and femininity on the gender scale, there are two clear sexes unless you are a hermaphrodite and a SCOTUS judge not being able to define one of them and the slimy way she evades the question just ma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 03:33 AM
5

Right, so these light sentences "cuz internet" made me think of the 8 year old child who is FOREVER scarred by these actions over and over (the images do not go away) and her feigning "logic cuz internet" makes my blood boil. And these dudes get three years?????! Miss me with that, when the recommended sentence to begin with is 10. I mean that is a fucking strrrrrrettttttch. Really seems fair to the victim and their families. It's a slap in the face to assume Americans are this dumb and will jus…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 02:56 AM
8

Yes. And there's a long string of this with her. I'm also having trouble finding the logic that the introduction of the internet should make for lighter sentences. Common sense tells us the images can spread more rapidly and men have no problem traveling to hurt someone so what gives with Ketanji? She's junk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 02:29 AM
5

It's fine that he is prioritizing the need for a car, what's not fine is he let you go on thinking everything was fine and the race was on when it wasn't. Wtf is that about? You two are so close and he couldn't let you in on what was going on? I just dumped a dude for not keeping plans he made with me months ago. When I revoiced the plans he made, he shrugged it off as if it just wasn't going to happen now. Well okey dokey, sir, but now my plan is to dump you. It showed me I wasn't a priority en…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 12:49 AM
31

Yes! This is why I know men with sob stories are lying or manipulating you with the info. A HVM would honestly be petrified to leak out early on that he was played/abused. He would wait a long time to tell you, until he could trust you, because men have such strict standards about letting weakness show. There is a lot of stigma around it, so you'd have to bet that they would wait a long time to say anything to you about it if they are trying to impress you and put best foot forward. This is how …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 12:17 AM
22

It's kind of amazing how for some men there are women they come across who can never do any wrong. I blame the men for those situations, too. It's your own dumbass fault, scrote, when obvious signs are showing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/22 07:24 PM
50

You know what his complaint was? She spent too much money. Another suspect lie men always tell. So the reality of the situation was this: She would take her close family to Disney World (in their state at the time, so no flights or anything) and he would be pissed. Meanwhile, he's cheating on her on and off through the marriage. I'm happy she took her family to Disney World. At least she got some time with people who actually loved her. And how much extra did he spend on his side hoochies for ov…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/22 07:15 PM
40

Yep and I think one indicator of a guy who does this shit is a guy who has dated a very very weird mix of women. One works at Burger King, next one was a lawyer, one after that worked at YMCA. Or one is known bar fly and rhe other one is an avid church goer. It's an indicator they didn't have any standards for women to begin with and basically take anybody who buys their bs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/22 05:53 PM
131

But then later on, you find out he cheated. Equivalent to finding out all the crazy things that were done to the ex, hence her being crazy. YEP!!!! Exactly. He even at some points told me she had "jealousy issues" and that she would even get jealous of him talking to "the 75 year old neighbor." I'd bet my ass the neighbor wasn't 75. 🤣 I never believed anything the dude said and it took 6 months for the truth to leak out. This just solidified my resolve to go really slow with men in general.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/22 03:26 PM
530

Love this. Men do not walk away from a marriage generally, so divorced scrotes to me are a huge red flag. My old ass scrote neighbor told me he married the wrong woman blah blah (he's now divorced), and six months later admitted to cheating on her while married multiple times. They will say anything to us to get us to jump for them, feel pity, but men don't really leave women to just go be single so to me they either tried to leave with another woman and it failed, or the wife was just done (whi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/22 02:31 PM
28

I dated in a huge age gap a long time ago and the dude was beyond porn sick and depraved. I think older men are worse than the young ones. I was 20 years younger, and he still tried to mess with even younger women around me. In my head, I was like you're lucky I even look your way you old sack of shit. 🤣 But it's like they can never go young enough it seems. I'm glad you're out of that! I'm glad I had the sense to get away from that guy pretty early on even though I was a pickme at the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/22 01:40 PM
55

When I think back to every guy I dated who was into porn, what blows my mind is all of them thought it was possible to live a similar lifestyle, find these types of women, have these types of sexual acts in real life. It's like sir, you're a completely overweight slob with CPTSD who plays video games all day like a teenager and will never ever be able to live these types of fantasies in real life. Or sir, you are half a century old and it's just over for you. Sorry scrote. But they really believ…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/22 01:17 PM
74

I like the list and I like that we are talking about it on FDS! From what I've seen... Narcs always create a "harem" of women around them as well. They like to appear in-demand to their victim which constantly undermines the victim's self-esteem. They cheat, whether emotionally or physically, and there will always be other women in the mix. They flirt with other women in front of your face then tell you are taking it wrong, jealous, or insecure. This is part of them needing constant "supply," me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/22 01:10 PM
25

Definitely! Social media, I have seen first hand, is a Narc's playground.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/22 01:02 PM
15

Wow. Just... I'm so sorry and I'm so glad you're out of that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/22 12:58 AM
1

Avoiding the red flags that women are telling you they are seeing and making excuses for him and not dating others at the same time, hence the reason you are so wrapped up in wondering how to proceed a whole relationship with a guy from 2 dates. None of us here are going to fight for "This man is HV!" On date 2 with a few flags showing. Anyone telling you to not view some of his actions a little more carefully maybe hasn't learned what these flags mean yet. What would have been ideal for him to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 11:26 PM
0

If you don't see the red flags, I can't help ya.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 07:31 PM
63

Let me translate this: Hey. Please talk to me. I need validation.... and even a random on the bus will do. Sure! Thanks for letting me know right away that you are low on self-esteem and malleable. I can't wait to toy with your head. You're pretty! Well. We all know the rest of the story, yeah?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 02:43 PM
24

No one is coming to save us. There’s no knight in shining armor. Princes like the ones in fairy tales don’t exist. There’s no shortcuts in life. And if you think you stand to gain something from a relationship with a man, ask yourself what does he stand to gain from the arrangement? 🌟 Noone is coming to save us 🌟 🌟 🌟
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 08:18 AM
8

Power struggles with crazy men almost never pan out well for us. They will usually win since they are much more depraved than we are, we are not believed in court systems, they can file a restraining order right back at us, etc... Be really careful with this frame of mind and these types of guys. I used to feel the same way as you but courts let me down, the guys didn't stop, etc etc. The only thing that's ever worked for me was to leave them alone. RO's didn't work (in fact I got pushback throu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/22 08:17 AM
1

if he was trying to get too familiar with OP hopefully it was just him seizing opportunities to make an impression good enough that she will still be interested in 2 months. Kinda crazy that you made up a whole scenario of knowing exactly what his intentions were in doing this even though it's a hella red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/22 07:38 AM
4

Yep, the date seemed great, but I'm not hearing anything about an actual connection with the dude or if OP really even likes him. A guy paying for a date and making it a nice one is one small piece of the pie. There should be follow up, not leaving you hanging at the end (which he did leave her hanging on everything), great company and conversation, not showing any red flags (mom comment seemed very much a red flag to me). Other people mentioned she had a post before this one where women gave to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/22 07:35 AM
6

More rapes and abductions happen through people we know, or friends of friends than they do with strangers. Abusers also choose people in close proximity, so no. We don't know that the guy isn't dangerous. That stuff takes a long time to vet so don't hand that freebie to any man so quickly. I really do mean ANY man. You really need to give this dude like 6 months of consistent dating before you could call him HV. I'm surprised at everyone defending a dude showing sus things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/22 07:32 AM
8

These are my thoughts too. He seems sus with the overfamiliarity and pushing that falseness on her so quickly. He's playing shy and left her hanging on the most important piece of it all, which is planning when and how he will see her again. I'd be running. That's what my gut tells me in reading about him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/22 07:27 AM
15

No idea. 🤣 I think it's just an imposed picture to be "ironic" or look like it was really placed somewhere like an ad but actually wasn't? Hard to tell. I just liked the message.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/22 07:01 AM
346

OP you're so right. I recently talked myself out of explaining anything at all to a dude who went hot>cold on me so I dropped him. This can be a hard habit to break since we are so trained to be this way, like you mentioned. The conclusion I kept coming to as I mulled it over, was "Nah. He gets it. And if you CoMmuNiCaTe to him about it, all he's going to see is a chance to manipulate the situation." When we do this, all they are hearing is, "Hey. Your shitty behavior is up for debate. I want yo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/22 03:35 AM
89

Yep! Isn't it the majority of our communication? I can't remember the exact percentage I read...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/22 03:31 AM
117

Humbleness in a male is so attractive for this reason. Cuz we never get to see it. 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/22 02:37 AM
400

Ohhhhnooooo. You ever find a dude doing something like this you gtfo. This is the type of guy who will eventually rig your car, your whole LIFE if you don't do what he asks. Fuuuuckthatttt. Knowing what I know now, I'd be out so fast his head would spin. Dangerous guy, even though hiding a sleeping cap seems silly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/22 10:32 PM
178

This is a really weird way to say, "I'm gonna cheat on you."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/22 10:27 PM
18

Agree with this. One of my older sisters was pushing my niece into modeling since like 16 but it just never took off for her. That's a very dark industry. My niece skipped out on scholarships and college (she is actually a math genius) and is now pushing 30 with no real goals and modeling hasn't really worked out for her. Really mad at my older sis for doing this to her and pushing it on her. I always worried about the things she would be asked "to do" for work. I think the overall goal is to ha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/22 09:31 PM
6

This lady is like 50. Her mother lives with her and the scrote and for a long time her daughter did too until she got married. They are all sweet people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/22 09:25 PM
207

Just a hot tip, do not ever ever threaten a restraining order on a man. If you're going to ever give him one, just do it without letting him know. This was advice given to me by a woman who had been a sergeant for 20+ years. If the man is a creep, there is almost nothing you can do to get him to stop contacting you. I'm glad it worked in this case (for now), but just know that with a LOT of men in this frame of mind, they will see it as nothing more than a test to keep pushing themselves on you.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/22 06:35 PM
3

Yep, even if it doesn't end up in firing or quitting - the gossip that ensues (everybody is seeing it) can make your life total hell and dealing with this pickme crap can exhaust you and ruin your work days. It's always funny to me when pickme women at work treat me like crap for keeping a work relationship with the office fuckboi or deem me as competition or something. It's like sis I would absolutely never go for this man so have at it. He's all yours... I don't play with men at work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/22 06:26 PM
9

This is especially a huge disaster to be playing with at work - where you make your money.... I never mess with guys at work, get hopeful about guys at work, nada NOTHING. When I think back to every single man I've ever known at work who flirts in office, they are flirting with everybody and usually have girls outside of the office they are messing with too. These dudes are fucboi trash and I always take them as they are- as a total JOKE. Sounds like OP is trying to degrade another woman (and ge…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/22 05:53 PM
17

Now that I think about it, I pretty much never see younger guys doing this....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/22 09:44 AM
10

Age gap definitely plays a huge part in those situations. It's okay though, those women will get cheated on as they age. 🤣 Is cheating an "age" relational problem? Like younger women don't get that cheating is bs? I can see though, that a man who is powerful, wealthy would be highly alluring and train these women to think it's normal. I don't know. I still think anyone on earth understands cheating isn't right. I just don't have any sympathy at all for cheating or it's participants in any capaci…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/22 06:54 AM
49

There really are women who get a total rise out of "stealing" taken men. They definitely do exist. My neighbor the other day yammered on about cheating on his wife, the mistress knew, and he's not even rich. I mean..... how absolutely low do you have to be to go with taken men? These girls are scumbuckets to me. You can get men anywhere. They fall out of fucking trees like ant-eaten fruit....but no, these girls HAVE to have the rendeveux with the married/taken dude. I have no sympathy for this s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/22 06:50 AM
68

One of my sisters LIVES to bang married men. What's absolutely hilarious to me is they never, ever choose her in the end. They always dump her eventually, taking off with another mistress. She is a total snake but she gets her ass handed to her every time. What's even more concerning is the wives who know about her and do not divorce their cheating husband. What the actual F? I've seen it too many times. Now.... with my parents' neighbors (not married at the time but long term dating and much ol…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/22 06:38 AM
110

But you haven't answered whether or not you even like him? If you do, ignore her. If you don't, what are you doing?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/22 06:26 AM
32

Uhhh... If he's not shopping around with me that day, and looking at stuff together with me he can stay tf home. BTW, I see older men doing this all the time for their wives. Holding coats for them, telling them what looks nice, waiting patiently outside of the dressing room in a chair. I know this doesn't mean they are great dudes but I always love to see it. If a 70+ year old man woke up that day and dressed to the nines to take his wife shopping and give her a good day, then these dudes just …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/22 05:59 AM
12

I was actually thinking about this the past couple days. Every time I got called "insecure" I found out I was right in the end. "Insecure" was a word that always really tore me down because I've generally felt pretty great about myself since puberty. Other women don't really make me feel insecure, it's the men toying with them and me at the same time that do. It's code for "I cheat" or "I like to make my girl upset by toying with other women" OR the simple fact that I could sense that something …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/22 05:26 AM
19

You're so right. Even when they know she's crazy, they play any way. The difference between men and women doing this is men hide it forever or slow drip their crazy. Men dupe us. Men like this don't even care if they get burned, like your cousin. Or sometimes they learn when they are younger that crazy/hot mix isn't worth it and they grow up. Hot trumping crazy in their minds is not something I feel sorry for either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 07:52 PM
55

Ugh. I've lived these types of set ups with dating Narc men. Even if they aren't Narcs, never underestimate the ability of men to flip the script. I also lived many years thinking I was nuts. Men push us to points of insanity. There was a girl who posted on here the other day that sounded out of her mind, but I recognized how she had been abused by the Narc dude she was describing to even get her to that spot in the first place. Don't get me wrong, there are really nutty women out there sometime…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 01:36 PM
84

Kind of like when they state that their ex was very "jealous" to hide the fact that he was a cheater and/or flirted too much with other women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 12:45 PM
134

Came here to say the same. When men say this, my older sister always follows up with, "What did you do to make her so 'crazy'?" LMAO. 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 12:44 PM
33

Damnit, Bruce. No. Also, BRUCE, we don't text men no mo'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 12:39 PM
58

"YAY! I don't have HIV even though I really should! Guess I'll go buy myself some Chinese food!" How much money do you want to bet that this man doesn't stop banging hookers without a condom???? I'd put my life savings on it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 12:37 PM
135

Read about some of the things that have happened in Australia with this. Men raping the women they met up with, and the COMPANIES still keeping the info of the rapists private. The men would create brand new profiles making it hard to track them and even then, the OLD companies wouldn't help to further the search for them. There is still a lot of grey area with privacy and OLD. Remember, no matter how normalized this shit seems, with OLD you are still meeting up with total STRANGER men from the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 12:23 PM
75

My ex's mom. LOL. I miss her but never miss him. 🤣 She is an established poet, translates poetry between English and Spanish and vice versa, has written books, spends months at a time in foreign countries alone to write. She also snowboards in her late 60s and borrowed my wakeboard to try have fun with when I wasn't using it and was avid water skier. Just LOVE her zest for life. She always took care of herself physically, raised her daughters to be tough badasses, her husband catered to anything…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 10:13 PM
40

Men who overly idealize Johnny Cash. I like JC, but these dudes always have massive issues.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 01:41 PM
31

The dahlias in there! 😍 I consistently have fresh flowers in my home and it's something I started a year ago! It does wonders for me mentally since my job is WFH. I always have something pretty to look at and my house smells nice. Just a hot tip too for when you are reeeally on a budget. My local grocery store has a bin for flowers they are about to toss out and they will have whole bouquets for .99 cents or 2 bucks. What's crazy is many times these flowers aren't even in that bad of shape. If y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 12:24 PM
34

Someone send her an FDS link. She SHOULD be anti porn and have a space to feel okay about it. God this poor girl.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 12:54 AM
14

Oof that's a good point! Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/22 05:11 PM
35

I unfortunately heard another streamer who has a political show go off the other day about women wearing mom jeans and how not cute it is. He said blah blah it's not quirky. It's not cute. Blah blah. He's married. Has kids. And all the scrotes on the show went off for like 8 minutes about women wearing mom jeans. They've done the same for turtlenecks in the past. Listen up scrote. You are MARRIED. I would seriously cringe if my husband ever spoke like that. I'm sorry to drag her but his wife is …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/22 02:27 PM
5

Good point! They have the discernment to not do it in front of certain women. Magic, right? 🎩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/22 02:14 PM
1

I actually mention this in the post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/22 11:21 PM
52

I keep bricks in my car and knives stashed around inside of it. For a while I kept some 5 pound dumb bells in there. It seems like stuff you just use to work out, but it can be used as a weapon. My dad has told me since I was little how easily women will get snatched up when they are getting into or out of cars and it's always stuck with me. At home, I have a firearm. Make sure you are purchasing one that will do serious damage. Many times, perps do not stop once they've been shot and not every …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/22 10:20 PM
70

Whats funny is I've seen MANY men do this who have never touched a book about it, have never been on Reddit, generally aren't on the internet, or are even super old like 63 years old and don't mess around with technology much and still have a flip phone. Men socially learn how to neg throughout their lives. They understand full well that putting a woman down or putting us on the defensive is a way to get under our skin, make us clamor for their attention, etc. This is socially learned behavior f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/22 02:49 PM
311

Someone on FDS once called men doing stuff like this "announcing their boners" and I can't unhear that. I'd say it's always a neg. What makes men think we care? Why would they be so stupid and insensitive to do this to women? If they really are that stupid to be that insensitive, it's not someone you should be friends with..... but they just aren't that stupid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/22 01:10 PM
23

Oh he'll drive it. Right into the bed of another woman, probably.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/22 05:54 AM
149

I hate to even say this because I'm sure she's an okay girl. But wait till she finds out this expense doesn't guarantee anything at all from him and the man uses it to pick up other women or be out of the house more to hot rod around with his bros or both. Sorry. Something has to be majorly wrong for her to do this. She's already noticing he's one foot out of the relationship and it's more than likely a pathetic pull at getting him to stay and be invested. ...and we all know how that ends up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/22 05:51 AM
4

Yesssss. This is why your strategy is IT. HVM won't care and will understand why you hid your talents. I don't like full shining and parading my awesomeness and skill sets around anymore. It attracted to many genuinely crazy dudes. It's a much safer bet to be subtle and keep your cards close to your chest. The way we vet men are not the same ways men fall in love with us. It's not an even playing field like that, never was. In the words of Ani DiFranco which explains my reasoning and hard earned…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/22 09:21 PM
2

Exactly. Men aren't doing this shit and I believe it's truly HVM nature to take care of literally everything during courting. We are HV, but it should get revealed after he's proven himself to us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/22 07:40 PM
5

I've lived similar to this. I've even had a dude blow up on me for not cooking for him because he took me out to eat a few times and knew I cooked for myself regularly. Holding your cards close to your chest is always best. A good dude will understand why you did so over time. Some men see you waving your awesomeness in their face as antagonization or view you as a "challenge" to wear down over time. Being upfront about my skills but never sharing them with him has never worked out well for me. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/22 07:39 PM
27

A HVM who truly likes you likes you from the start and will like you no matter what. He doesn't "grow" more love for a woman based on her skill sets being revealed. I think women do that more than men and I think men know pretty much immediately if you are something that is serious to them. The dude is either head over heels for you or he's not and will never be. There's no logic in it from a male perspective, but when they like a woman it's immediate and it doesn't matter what she does/doesn't …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/22 02:39 PM
25

Yep! Especially during courting this is important to do. As time goes on, as he reveals himself as "safe" or trustworthy, you can let more of your skills show. In the beginning though, it's ALL on him with best foot forward. One of the last longer relationships I had, I didn't cook at all until 2 years in, no joke, and I'm a good cook. It took even longer for the guy to get my best dish. Guess who took care of the food and did the cooking during those first two years? Hint: it wasn't me. 🤣 If yo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/22 02:21 PM
21

When I was in a relationship where I was being cheated on, my friends were low value women who gaslit me saying I "didn't have proof" and was just "jealous and emotional from my period, clingy, paranoid". They were all close friends with my ex and the woman he was cheating on me with. This is so awful and I'm sooo sorry you dealt with that. Why are women always blamed for the shitty actions of MEN? I hope you dumped all those ladies and left them in the dust.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/22 12:54 PM
74

Things I always noted throughout life and thought "Holy shit am I insane or is everyone TERRIBLE to women including women? Am I here all alone?" I always felt like I was crazy, difficult, had something wrong with me before coming here. It was a huge relief to find this sub. In fact, I'm positive that it saved my life from dying at the hands of NVM, whether spiritually or physically, but most likely BOTH. I wish I could say I was joking about this, but I'm serious. It was a really slow break down…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/22 12:46 PM
23

This is a really good quote! But I do think it's possible to get yourself out of giving a shit about the male gaze and regain control of your own mind, although I won't lie and say that it is easy. It's taken a LOT of work for me but I do feel more now like my brain is my own and I'm not catering to this crap anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/22 12:15 PM
65

One of the biggest defenses I've used against men is making sure they know I LOVE myself immediately. This can look like a lot of different things. It can be acting "stuck up" (he he ho ho) during conversation number 1, not giving a crap if he hasn't called you in two days and deleting/blocking, showing that you invest in yourself/keep yourself healthy/have hobbies that bring you joy, or I've even gone so far as to say things like, "I love my small boobs. I always have" and leaving the convo tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/22 12:01 PM
3

Yes! That's what I think too. Men who aren't totally NV or LV could be HV to another woman, might still shove you into category 1 and be your LV nightmare if you let him. Basically when we offer ourselves up as a plaything, they'll take it, whether he is serious about us or not. Hence the reason why "getting a guy" is no big feat at all. It's easy for all of us women to fall for the trap of category 1. That scenario is a dime a dozen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/22 08:10 PM
161

Yep, exactly. It's purely a set up in which you cannot win. As in, they fight to make themselves the center of your world, and then are annoyed/retaliate when you're "clingy" or whatever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/22 07:28 PM
739

What's even more ridiculous is the worst men will start rearranging your life in such a way that it makes them the center of your world. This is why it's important to maintain hobbies, friendships, your routines, etc. while dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/22 07:19 PM
14

You dodged a guy who was definitely trying to isolate you, therefore a dangerous dude... Just a hot tip, too. He never actually thought you cheated on him. He was making it up to instill fake guilt in you. I've lived this with the WORST men who are heavily manipulative. He used that story to get away from you and make you feel like it was your fault.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/22 07:13 PM
6

Really great post and I see what you are saying OP. Many times we will think things are going just swell and the scrote changes his tune and we have to abruptly abort mission. I think we all hate when the dude puts us in that spot. They put us there to begin with and we have to act accordingly. It's very rare a woman gets a wild hair up her ass and changes her tune like men do. Our job is to react accordingly and swiftly. The days of feeling like we have to mend it, are failures if it doesn't wo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/22 08:48 AM
300

I saw this comment today and laughed my ass off!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/22 04:04 AM
13

You're talking about types of men. Those are NVM. I was talking about categories men put us into when they meet us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 07:06 PM
70

It hurts to let a crappy long term relationship go, but when it eventually does end (and it will) it will hurt more that you didn't leave when you knew you were supposed to. Letting ourselves down hurts more than letting scrotes go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 01:14 PM
5

Right? Or Rhianna getting beaten. Tina Turner. Mel B from the Spice Girls. Or Gwen Stefani getting cheated on with her babysitter (Seriously, Gavin?) and all the other beautiful successful, talented women who got left for someone else or knocked around. It's not us. It's not personal. It's men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 01:09 PM
71

YES! I beg that guys decide this within the first few minutes of meeting you. I think they put us into two categories: A girl he doesn't really like but would still toy with if she allowed it. A girl he really likes and wants to put his best foot forward for. I truly don't even think there are more categories than this. We are either the girl willing to get toyed with, or the girl demanding good treatment with a guy who is showing good treatment. There really is no in between and you can tell ea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 12:53 PM
8

I love Hill and Amos!!! Fiona Apple is another great one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 12:45 PM
69

Lmao. They didn't get the memo I guess that we aren't doing this no mo'. Find your own fucking kidney. 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 12:16 PM
4

Absolutely! I've been manipulated via text so much that I just don't even text men now LOL. Outside of very, very short and sweet about when I'll be ready to meet or if I'm running late or if i made it safely somewhere. I'm serious, though... I don't text them. I also gave up OLD a long time ago too. If you continue OLD, FaceTime him as much as you can, meaning a lot more than once before (IF) you meet up with him. Try various times like weekends, weekdays, evenings, midday. Manipulators via tex…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 11:42 AM
20

Ya know what? I agree with what this ass posted as in NO, I don't think it turns men on. Because when women are financially stable and rocking it, we are less likely to be manipulated because we are not financially desperate and I think for a lot of men....it's their ability to manipulate us when we are weak and vulnerable that actually turns them on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 10:57 AM
17

I tried to identify with the pain and hurt and betrayal and in turn wanting to write a letter like this, but then I got to the point about his rage and how he treats the dog sometimes and THIS MAN DESERVES NO LETTER NOR EXPLANATION. I suspect the letter is more for you and I'm so happy you shared it with us. I think the hardest part at points like this is realizing that anything you write, say, scream, cry about...the man will not even care enough to read or hear. Tap out. He's not going to care…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 10:48 AM
44

Exactly. These dudes sound like nothing more than emotionally neglectful assholes. How can we avoid these types? What are early warning signs? Only talk about themselves. Correct you or override your comment to solely give their own input. Are dismissive of you and your ideas in general. ie., don't really give a damn about what you have to say. They just don't care. No deep discussions with you about what you like, enjoy, find interesting, etc. The convo is never about you. There is no give and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/22 08:07 PM
139

LOL. Bingo! They would label them a "crazy bitxh" and that would be the end of that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/22 06:28 PM
128

I've seen this a few times now where women want to diagnose a man (usually with Asperger's) instead of taking him at face value. What's the point in that? Ladies, we really need to stop doing this to ourselves. Sis, he's an asshole. I've worked in education and it's highly unlikely a teacher or someone didn't notice that something is off and get him tested during his 18 years of school. On a more important note, these types of men are EVERYWHERE and what you're seeing is typical males doing typi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/22 05:51 PM
77

Thanks! I'm super happy to finally be at this point. I've worked hard for it. Here are some reasons it's been easier at this point in my life: We haven't had sex. This makes it much easier to detach from him. I always tell women to wait as long as they possibly can... I know that if I were to clamor for him, I would eventually look at back at this point and think... "I should have dumped his frigid ass right then." I don't want that type of regret anymore. I think that's worse than the pain I'm …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/22 06:06 AM
51

Ew. This guy is so manipulative and gaslighty to have to have the last word like this and totally flip the script from what is actually reality. I can see clearly how you made the right choice. I recommend putting the texts away and not revisiting them for a long while, if ever. You will heal more quickly this way. You don't need the pain of reading it more than once. I did this with a particularly heinous guy (actually I had dumped him and he said similar things "Just remember. I dumped you." 🤣…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/22 05:48 AM
259

Weird because I was feeling the exact same way tonight about a scrote who has gone really hot to really cold with me. In my head I'm like, welp, if you want to get frigid you can freeze out there, sir. There isn't any coming back from inconsistency as I know it will become a pattern, something is up/wrong, etc. I don't play hot to cold and I have learned that this usually means there is another woman involved even though I've seen no obvious signs. Up until this week things have been going well.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/22 03:56 AM
142

Men that actually spend time with their kids are "AMAZING" fathers, while for the women it's just expected. Eye roll.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/22 02:14 AM
1

I don't mind at all. Look up Narcissists and harems. Start there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/22 01:56 AM
9

"Calmly confront it, then brush it off and keep moving."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/22 01:08 AM
7

I'd vote that the condescending smile is attention for him. It's the type of response he's looking for. Post was talking about much more than just attention-hungry scrotes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/22 01:02 AM
11

Not sure where you got that it was to "show them how it feels" but rather to flip the underhanded spot they try to put you in. Jokes are one way to derail them like this. It takes you out of the heat and let's them deal with it instead. My point is that many times walking away is awkward and doesn't always benefit us (as you state in your story) especially if it is people that will continue testing us at work/social settings or even family (but yours were randoms?). Sometimes a line has to be dr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/22 12:45 AM
15

Nope, it's not a "clapback" or "getting them back" for negging, although some who didn't read the full post apparently took it that way. It's watching them stumble all over themselves when the scenario is flipped back onto them which is essentially the position they wanted to put you in to begin with. So the joking and banter you're talking about is exactly that. You say not to do it, yet you did in the situation you mentioned even though they were clearly trying to get under your skin. Girl, yo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/22 10:30 PM
46

I'll confront him tomorrow one last time and see what he has to say. Why would you do this when you know it's going to spark an argument and he is going to "out argue" you? Why waste your time? I'd give the boy a call and tell him it's over and you're not meeting up tomorrow. Trust me, you will thank yourself later for not further embarassing yourself and setting yourself up in a situation where you already absolutely know you cannot win. I know it's hard, but the guy has left you no choice and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/22 08:38 PM
101

He moved to your city for himself, not you. BTW, you said it put pressure on you that he moved there, so how is it something to "make you happy?" Dude is only thinking of himself with this move and you do not sound happy? You are stating your own standards but questioning yourself about having them. Your standards are your standards. Do not lower them for any guy or you will end up with a miserable dude in a miserable life and it sounds like you are 90% of the way there. You do not like anything…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/22 07:16 PM
10

Back when I used OLD, a scrote used me to show off at his 30th birthday party to his "friends." They weren't really even close friends, just gym buddies he had. Things were going great for two weeks up until his birthday. Friends liked me, blah blah, and he made it seem to them like we had been super serious for a long time. 🤣 They didn't know any better since none of them were really tight knit with him. After that, he ghosted me. Another I met on OLD used me to show his parents he was "normal"…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/22 06:55 PM
383

This is all one big NOPE. Sis, just don't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/22 06:49 PM
23

I've actually used this! 😅 Blows my mind when an eraser head thinks they can say anything at all about someone's hair.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/22 06:07 PM
10

Yep exactly! I moved to a place with HARD water and it turned my hair a really nasty looking "color" if you could even call it that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/22 05:54 PM
28

One of my mentors at work taught me that but then I realized that this might kind of negatively affect our image when we "accept" the neg. I did this for so long. Always tried to play nice, brush it off, ignore, be the bigger person, blah blah. It's not always the best route especially in work or group settings. People see you as weak (not something you want to look like as a woman in the workplace) and in their minds you've "accepted" this type of behavior. It screams "doormat." With friends or…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/22 05:36 PM
121

I just had it lightened and had complained to the scrote before about the water here turning hair dingy. That's the nutty thing. Sometimes you can't be too overt or people paint you as the "mean" unhinged villain. It's a delicate dance sometimes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/22 08:46 AM
15

I've been through it too and it was at a time I was vetting pretty harshly and it was a family friend who duped me. Just know that it can happen to the best of us, and only people who have been through dating such extreme manipulators and emotional abusers will understand what you dealt with. Not everyone is going to get it, but I do. Also, abuse and manipulation like this does lead you to come out on the other end of it feeling only like a shell of yourself. That's why they do it. They want a l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/22 12:26 AM
19

I'm really sorry for all the women tearing you up in their replies. You were heavily emotionally abused and didn't even understand wtf was going on. There were definitely pieces where you could have been smarter, but emotional abuse diminishes your ability to trust your intuition and it's a process where you lose your whole self and ability to make sound judgments. This is how abuse works and it isn't your fault. This isn't me coddling you. This is the truth of what a heavy manipulator can do to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/22 11:48 PM
3

Yep, that's my point is that we should be more against the machine itself. There were some posts a few months back really bashing Billie for going blonde and looking a little more Scarlett Johansen. I guess she didn't realize she should be leading the feminist movement? /s Got into lots of debates with women on here where they thought Billie should be conscious of how her new sexualized look and showing her body is cheapening us all somehow. My argument was that she never signed up to carry the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/22 07:08 PM
-1

Why do you all normalize Kim Kardashian for giving a sex tape the world but bash someone like Billie Eilish for showing some cleavage? One is a human female navigating heavy misogyny and the other is not?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/22 06:51 AM
36

Also, don’t get caught up in constant communication. Don’t be on the phone for hours on end if you aren’t in a committed relationship. Your attention is everything! Your time is valuable! If he wants to speak to you that frequently he should be taking you out. Absolutely! Men are very very good at establishing a false connection via text, misrepresenting themselves to us through text, etc. If he likes you that much he will want to see you all 7 days of the week that he insists on being in commun…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 07:44 PM
32

Wow! I've lived similar things. Like a guy telling me he hated certain body types but he was cheating with said type. Lmao. Any time a man has to keep stating something about himself or personal preferences over and over you can probably bet it's the opposite that is true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 06:43 AM
12

Bingo!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 06:41 AM
47

One of the fools in my recent scrotation who I just dropped told me he liked strong women.... until I actually exercised some strength and he didn't like it. Even HE said it when I pointed it out to him. So.... you like strong women but you don't want me to utilize any of my strength? He laughed his ass off and told me I was right. Then I dumped him. He he, ho ho!! Men don't know what the fuck they want. They say they want someone thick then they stare at the super skinny chick or vice versa. Th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 06:40 AM
20

Wow this guy is absolute scum.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 06:30 AM
51

Lmao 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 06:27 AM
20

I didn't know this! Thank you for the info.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 06:26 AM
73

Absolutely! Follow this even when you feel like shit, because eventually you wake up in your pretty house or apartment. You feel emotionally and physically healthy, happy, and stable. The day is yours and you have the indescribable feeling of fully owning yourself and your life path and that's EVERYTHING. It's alllmost a fake it till you make it sort of thing, but it's really just grinding out the hard work of putting yourself first and treating yourself well in the process and there really isn'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 06:25 AM
76

She's gonna regret the hell out of that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 06:18 AM
4

Silly me did a bunch of "hard work" trying to delve deep and understand why I ended up in an abusive relationship. There must be something wrong with me (her)? How could I (she) not know? You know what my big fuck up was??? What it really came down to? I was never taught red flags of abusers. I was never taught that MANY men are dangerous and therefore I did not do a stellar job of protecting myself and knowing red flags like the back of my hand because I was never told I would need this informa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/22 03:51 AM
194

This is seriously it. If you're "hunting" for a HVM, you've lost the point. Also, any time I was in this mindset and working hard to vet during my "hunt" I came up sorely disappointed every time. Just live. Men pop into our lives, reveal themselves to us, and we go from there. Just level up and you start to meet better men, naturally. These past couple years, I did not go looking for men in any capacity. Stayed by myself, alone, leveled up at work, stuck to my exercise routines, updated my livin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/22 04:39 PM
28

I think if I were on OLD at this point, I would make myself as absolutely vague as possible on there. Men are either going to lie to you to make it seem like you're a perfect match on there based on what you wrote, or they're going to work to erode your clearly stated boundaries. I would probably go the route of presenting them with fuckall nothing to be manipulative with, and watch them like a science experiment as they present themselves to me. What topics do they bring up? What are their mora…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/22 07:37 AM
3

It's okay...you will get exactly where you're supposed to be, if that makes sense. I went through similar things!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/22 04:47 AM
5

It just takes time. I know that is a hard thing to hear while you are healing, but it's all that really worked for me outside of: Exercise (daily) Journaling Treating myself well I was fucked up from what happened to me for a while, won't lie. Not being able to sleep no matter how tired I was was the most lasting effect I had since the gremlin would start fights at 1 or 2 or even 3 am with me (intentionally, of course). That was a habit that my body just couldn't kick. I've really worked on the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/22 07:38 PM
31

My sister's husband said things about me once at the dinner table that made my mom flip her lid. I must've seriously blocked it out or something because my mom just reminded me the other day and this was 15 years ago and I could not remember. Tbh, it happens to us so much when we are younger it's like it just blurs together after a while. Shame on this whole earth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/22 06:38 AM
17

This has happened to me on numerous occasions. The saddest was a band director I highly respected growing up. I had to ask for help from someone at the bar the guy was so wrecked and nasty. He eventually died of alcoholism. As a woman, I really feel like all male idols must fall.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/22 06:29 AM
29

That's cuz they wanna spin plates but them paying for the meal like a gentleman should curbs them from being able to easily stack notches on their bedposts and do it for cheap/free. They're just mad we figured it out. 🥱
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/22 02:28 AM
146

Similar story but I caught my NVX leaving early for work at 7am in Aus where ppl don't generally start work until 9 am for any job almost. I thought it was normal until I had an Aussie gf visit and stay the night one night and she clued me in with, "Nobody starts work that early here...." Cue the digging and me catching him from there. Yes, def check early mornings, too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/22 02:16 AM
48

Lmao. 🤣 Sir, you've been known to frequently be around snakes before... this seems like a personality issue????
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/22 12:53 AM
103

While I was on it for a couple years, every single man I met up with couldn't believe I was on an app. I mean they had literal shock on their faces the first times they saw me. This tells me a couple things. They don't think women of value are on there and think there has to be something wrong with you if you are using them. "How are you on an app?! What's the catch?" The catch was that I had been out of dating for 13 years while monogamous and literally thought OLD was just the way to go about …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/22 05:39 AM
62

Don't ever let a male talk you into leaving your job... A million different variations but they all lead to the same answer for you. Don't fucking do it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 10:00 AM
98

Yes, and it's not even frequenting certain regions or countries that you should watch out for. A male solo traveling is banging them all. Any country, any time. It doesn't matter to them. They're in it for "the experience." 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 07:24 AM
21

Don't worry about any of this. They more than likely won't make it down the aisle and if they do it will probably be a quick divorce. How miserable all of this sounds.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/22 04:17 PM
71

This should be something you figured out about the man BEFORE you marry him. I swear on all that is holy if I find myself in a marriage where I have to play headgames like this, I will leave. Like I want to be training a man about basic decency throughout my marriage to him. I want to climb with this guy... accumulate assets, travel. I have small business ideas I want to launch. I have art I want to make and sell. I want to get my PhD. Do I sound like I want to be fucking around with a full grow…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/22 04:11 PM
274

Liberal feminism hath brainwashed the masses. When I was first spit back out into dating at 28, I thought 50/50 was the way to go. 🤣 And I generally have been focused on feminism since my teens. That's how well this shit works. For me, it was more about proving that I could "hold my own" than anything and that I was tough enough to handle myself. I think that's where 50/50, etc. can get a lot of us. We should always be able to handle ourselves anyway, but a man should be a treat and a plus to th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/22 02:13 AM
343

They get sexually intimate with you, want to know parts of your life, tell you sincere things (only in bed) yet keep their own social/emotional intimacy at bay from you. You hardly know anything about them. You get bits and pieces, maybe, but as a whole the dude feels like a stranger.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/22 07:58 PM
3

Yes! Thank you for the real life examples where this worked for you too. That's really scary about the hitting! Your gut guided you right. It never clicked for me before to make this such a staunch part of my PRE vetting tools before things go too far with the guy. It'll be verrry interesting to use this with dating before I even meet the guy in person! Can use it in all of my big deal breakers: "Professional life is on the back burner...." "Gifts don't mean much..." "Cheating is okay in some ca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/22 07:38 PM
21

It really comes down to any general change in his overall behavior or their routines. If something starts changing with him and there isn't really a viable reason, it's probably another woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/22 03:28 AM
6

It sounded like EVERYONE was on board and understood. If not, then I bet the other stations all have something similar.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/22 01:28 AM
1

It definitely gets easier with time.😎
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/22 04:26 AM
6

I always look at it this way... Men who want to impress you and are looking for something real from you would be EMBARASSED to leak their dirty laundry early on to you. When they truly like you, they put their best foot forward no matter their personal struggles. They try to appear alpha, strong, capable. Think about it ladies... don't we even do something similar when we are genuinely into a guy? We try to hide our weaknesses, don't open up about our hardships, etc. Men do this times a thousand…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/22 04:23 AM
12

Anger is a natural emotion like any others and is not inherently "bad." It's only bad when it turns to violence, is excessive, etc. Anger is a NATURAL REACTION to being fucked over or toyed with and all I've ever seen men do with women's anger in reaction to their scrote behavior is hold it against them. It's unnerving, really, how common this is. Most women have earned the right to be pissed off, so don't let anyone tell you that you have no right to be angry in reaction to something they've do…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/22 04:08 AM
11

Yep! It blew my mind how unofficially official it is for an entire police force to utilize something like that. I can see men's buddies and co workers covering in ways, just was a little amazing to me that there is actually a specific code for this. I'm sure all offices and professions do similar things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/22 02:30 AM
62

Call me crazy, but I would put the dogs or the gold medals first....?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/22 01:51 AM
16

Oh no, I get it. I get it all. He tried talking to me on day 1 of me moving in and I made myself really clear to him about who I am by not giving his bs the time of day. He's throwing his same net with me as he is with any other female neighbor, but I've been on to how slimy he is from day 1. You say he’s not trying to sleep with you but I think he is. Never said this. I think he is trying to sleep with anything that moves like most scrotes. I get how they try to make you feel special too, altho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/22 01:28 AM
16

Yep! Actually, work is maybe the last place I would trust a man because of these things and also seeing how they act at staff happy hours. Nasty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/22 12:38 AM
41

Woah. Sounds like my high school with the male teachers and football coaches. Years later when women started reporting it, the women were blamed and not believed. But having the National Guard roll in over that would have been beautiful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/22 12:36 AM
22

Absolutely! I heard "retired cop" and have lied through most of our conversations with each other. He doesn't know a singular real thing about me, I always lock my door, etc. I don't trust anybody but I especially would never trust a cop. Cops have always scared me and I've seen almost nothing but s* behavior from them my whole life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 11:04 PM
40

Exactly! Not off topic at all! When I reeeally want the truth out of someone this is the position I take, too. It's fared me so well in life! For example if I need to get at the heart of something at work, if I'm vetting a scrote, if I'm suspecting something with a loved one, etc. The key, if it's a close personal relationship, is to not blow up. Wait until you're done spending that time with the person after they've told you the truth you need, and then decide from there what to do with it. Dum…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 09:42 PM
34

That's so gross and I'm so sorry you went through that. I bet this is a line all cops use with their wives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 07:42 PM
68

Oh I absolutely would never and already know better, LOL. Some women are so enamored with these guys and it's like.... howww?????
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 05:37 PM
53

There's nothing to explain to him at all. He understands the situation. You need to use this day to see clearly how much effort this man is willing to put into you. Men know it's an important day to get right and for whatever reason, he didn't feel the need to get it right with you. F that. There are like 4 days a year a man should not slip up and Vday is one of them. Your birthday is the other. Christmas and NYE are the others. You need to set the standard inside of yourself that you will not a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 03:10 PM
147

What men don't realize is once we accept that it's done, scrote never has a chance with us again. Men somehow seem to never care about going back and forth between exes, but from what I've seen women mostly only do that if they have been stuck in a bad relationship, etc. Men seem to do this shit for fun and giggles. Women don't. Take notes, scrotes! Dumping us for fun or for games or because you got a wild hair up your ass will never pan out well for you. When a woman is really done, she means i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 10:56 PM
33

This is the best thing I've heard this year!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 09:11 PM
267

Right? 🤣 What do scrotes actually even think or....are they thinking??? When we get turned down, we move on. Even a girl this young had wits about her to not chase someone who made his stance clear as day. The nerve of this scrote. We not chasing dudes no mo'...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 09:09 PM
9

Who is Jordan Pickell and why would I give a shit about his shit advice?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 02:41 PM
3

Any low effort? Bye. This. Valentines Day is such an easy-to-use vetting tool so take full of advantage of it, ladies! Did he go cheap on you? Did he just barely pull something together at the last minute? Was the gift/gesture just way below what you would expect? Was there no real thought behind his gift? After living through many Valentine's Days, single, taken, whatever, I learned that whether or not you think this is a great holiday, it's a FANTASTIC way to check the scrotes in your life and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 02:38 PM
4

This is most famous male musicians and most famous male movie stars. Hollywood and the music industry are trash heaps. Oh. Professional sports and the male athletes too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/22 02:30 PM
2

It’s just impossible to be romantically involved with any man without ending up in some sort of caretaking dynamic. For me, at least. It's because you're giving the care to them right away while just dating, so of course they sit back and say, "Wow, she really will just give me all of this?" Why would they protest or stop it? It might help to set precedence right away that you just won't do this anymore. You cook for men who marry you, or whom you have been seeing for a lonnng time. Don't give o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/22 09:25 PM
19

Sounds like he was loving the free bangmaid you were willing to be for him. Girl, you should NOT be loving this guy dearly and no males are your "friend." They will always want something more. If this situation doesn't spell that out clearly, I don't know what will. Don't cook for men unless they are extremely serious about you and investing a lot into you. Even then, it really should only be reserved for a husband. Cook for yourself and friends, not scrotes or you end up getting used. He had a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/22 04:41 PM
367

Me: Nah, you've made up your mind and I'm cool with it, thanks for letting me know, bye! * Hang up and delete * Love it! Everytime a dude has done something similar to me I say something along the lines of, "No, you're totally right and I think you made the right choice. I agree with you! Best to you!" Block and delete. It's worth the absolute shock from them every damn time to just keep your cool and agree with them. They want you to beg and plead and prove yourself. Sorry, scrote. You picked t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/22 04:24 PM
34

I think he wants his space to continue being his. You don't know what he's up to white he's there alone but he's in your house and all of a sudden you are the one that has to accompdate. Count the bills and see what changed from when you lived alone. All my bills doubled. Scrote even wanted to charge his battery car at my place. And that shit makes noise. Bingo! I have a fully stocked, nice place and although he is neat and tidy, he doesn't own practically fuckall anything. I would want to be in…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/22 03:44 PM
9

Geeeeeeeezusss Christ. Scrotes are not okay.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/22 03:21 PM
58

Bingo! Men are fucking COSTLY to have around, period. It all adds up. I've decided I'm going back to not allowing men in my apartment while dating because it almost ALWAYS seems to go this way. Men are the real gold diggers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/22 03:16 PM
64

Even if he brings the groceries, it's like wtf. Who said I wanted to cook a meal for two tonight? Unless it was a meal we talked about and made plans about, nobody is popping up to my house randomly with groceries to have me cook for them. Lolol. We have to think about the emotional toll and expense going into that from our side. It's decent that he his paying for the groceries, but you are the one slaving behind the stove and there is a mental and physical cost that comes along with that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/22 03:14 PM
69

Who's been there? I've been! Me too. In fact, I'm dropping a dude out of my scrotation for this exact reason. It all just came to a head with me yesterday, actually, but the scrote is frequently over at my place on weekends and seems uncomfortable having me in his. He has even said over and over how much he feels more comfortable in mine. 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 Idk wtf these men are thinking. Although the scrote isn't messy, I have to work harder to keep my place clean since there is more going on in my plac…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/22 02:45 PM
14

Don't move in with him. Don't move in with any man whom you are simply dating. You have absolutely no financial protection without a marriage and you would be amazed at how many men take women for a ride AFTER moving in together, whether it is emotionally, financially, or both. You haven't known him long, honestly, and your spidey senses are up for a reason. But it cannot be stressed enough.... Do NOT move in with a man unless he has married you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/22 02:25 PM
16

At least jobs pay me something to expect something out of me. Men expect it all for free. Work is a safer bet than men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/22 07:10 AM
4

I hate to burst a bubble, but this man will eventually seek more from you. Keep your eyes peeled.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/22 03:24 PM
208

What makes me mad is an old scrote staying the night and trying to rearrange the girl's life which she seems perfectly content with. That is enough to drop the guy and it's sad she had to find out he has a wife to get mad enough to do it. I hope she keeps learning. I hate when scrotes do this, young or old. You should...Why don't you.... It makes more sense to.... Why do you do it that way? Sir, I have survived this long without you so kindly f off. Imagine the strain this would have put on her …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/22 06:48 AM
94

In the play that this is based on, she doesn't choose him in the end. She goes with a man who makes less and treats her better. George Bernard Shaw, the playwright, was absolutely pissed that this was done with the ending after he sold the rights. He was mad about it until he died. The overall purpose of his writing the play was to make a statement that women should be able to vote. This was a very bold statement in British Victorian society. The play is called Pygmalion and ends the way it shou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/22 06:39 AM
29

Wow, great point. You are so right! I guess a great vetting tool when you are talking school with your man should be, "Ladies first." If the couple wanted kids after, it would be 10,000 x harder for the girl to start or finish her degree. This is of course if they don't have children YET. And this should only be reserved for married couples. Wouldn't catch me dead making any plans like this for just a boyfriend. Hmm, it kind of seems like men want to trap women from leaving and being okay financ…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/22 07:40 PM
62

Once knew a scrote whose wife worked long hours at crappy jobs to support the home while he went to school. The deal was, when he graduated, he would then work while she went to school. Well, when it came time for her turn, he tried talking her out of the degree she wanted and fought back about the deal they had already made AFTER he got HIS degree, of course. The actual audacity! What do you know? She left him. After that he whined and cried about paying 200 a month in alimony for 2 years after…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/22 02:44 PM
55

I'm the seed of the wood that was used to build the whole house that holds his pathetic little table. 🤣 If he even asks this question, that means... His table is a cheap fold up table you grab from the thrift store in case you have friends over and need more room for the food/drinks. His table is that neverending wobbly table at a cheap diner that people pile napkins under hoping it stops shaking so their drinks don't spill. His table is that singular outdoor table and camping chair that are the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/22 02:37 PM
17

You're not alone. These cycles actually make us addicted to the abuse (no different than a drug addiction so, you can honestly think of yourself as a junkie for abuse back then) and so it seems like what happened with you is you didn't quit cold turkey and instead weened yourself off. This is precisely how I did it too! Some communication back and forth after break up until I finally had the strength to totally block. I learned about the addiction factor after I left. This is why it hurts SO muc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/22 10:16 PM
70

This truth eventually hit me in the absolute worst relationship I've ever been in. He wanted me gone and enjoyed doing the most rotten stuff to get me there. What's sick about Narcs is they want you gone but they do not let you go. They would rather reign hell on your life, set up new targets for themselves while with you, create total chaos for you, mess with your head, and then feign sadness when you gather the will to leave. When this guy says they enjoy it, he's not lying. Even when they are…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/22 03:32 PM
138

I've been called high maintenance because I want what I want, and intimidating because of the space I occupy. I've been called selfish because I am self-loving. I've been called a witch because I know how to heal myself. I've been called all of this and so much more for simply looking out for myself like any other creature on earth does in order to survive. This poem hits home because I've always felt like men see me and feel like they need to kick me down a peg. If you head into the world with …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 03:12 PM
35

I was watching that documentary with a dude who is in my scrotation and the first thing I said was, "I think this guy is broke and about to take these ladies for one hell of a financial ride." Scrote's response was, "Yeah it could be since genuinely wealthy men do not act like this. They try to conceal it." I mean think about it. If you are that loaded all the flaunting does is make you a target for thieves and cons. Funny things I learned about the music industry as well and all the rich rapper…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 05:56 AM
161

What's nuts is I've met very few men in my lifetime who DON'T do these things. It's crazy in that it is so much their initial and gut reaction for them to flip the script every time. You're right though. Good men do NOT do this shit. It should be a very simple: "I'm sorry. I'll work on not doing that again" "Yeah sure, I see your side. Let's get this figured out." "I'm so sorry I hurt you."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 05:42 AM
28

I know a 26 year old woman who fell into this with her forever boyfriend who is about 45 and a grandpa. The girl is the same age as the guy's daughter 🤮. His mom gave him a plumbing company and the girl works there for free. They have been living together for years and years and he won't marry her. As crazy as this seems, the girl came from a very rough family, and hasn't had many options in life. As stupid as it looks on her part, Mr. Gramps has really taken advantage of her predisposition in l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 07:38 PM
38

Oof. Throw his shit out on the lawn, change the locks, and call it good. This dude is being extremely insidious with her (like all financial abusers). I bet he is a totally deadbeat dad and gets her to believe he is really trying with the kid, wants to do better, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 07:30 PM
41

Spoiler Alert I watched this lastnight and ended up so mad that women still had the debts to pay at the end of it all and he only spent 15 months. Are you kidding me? There really is no justice in the world for women who go through any type of abuse. Also, it's all yet another reason to not accept a coffee date. It means the boy is spinning plates and probably much more. That's how it started with all of them. Such a simple vetting tool that would have saved them. I was yelling at the screen the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 07:04 PM
252

I was thinking about this topic the other day, how many many men think we are here on earth simply to be their eye candy. Guess what? You don't have to sign yourself up for that. You can simply opt out. Do what you want to do with your looks and understand that fully catering to the male gaze pretty much only gets you preyed upon. It's one thing to be put together and nice looking for yourself, your family, your job but it's a whole other thing to spend money hoping you get picked because of you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 12:02 AM
14

LOL. Absolutely. They will "test" the waters or bring it too far seemingly every time and then wonder wtf happened, in which if you talk to them about it or they seek outside sources and they are called out again, they still double down anyway or try to flip the script. She was totally right in not even having the discussion or explaining. Having his stuff in boxes by the door was the only real "conversation" needed, lmao. Men don't respond to words anyway, they respond to actions. This girl did…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 11:51 PM
21

I've met self aware narcs, who even used the word. They did not prowl the internet to understand what it is for clout. They just knew that they preyed on people, set them up to lose everytime, and gloated in the fact that they can always pull fast ones in relationships and remain undetected for a long time. In short, I guess, they were very very proud of how manipulative they are and that they mostly get away with it for a while in relationships. They get off on the fact that they dupe people. A…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/22 03:44 PM
10

LOL!!! 🤣🤣🤣 Taking notes...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 04:27 AM
16

I heard this the other day from a favorite political candidate of mine and it totally stopped me in my tracks. "We all know male feminist is just code for future woman beater." It seems like such an extreme stretch almost, but I'll be damned if I didn't feel the hatred boiling beneath the surface that these men really do have for women. I could honestly see any whom I've encountered turning into this, or were just currently hiding it well. And yeah, I really do mean ALL of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 04:03 AM
46

I told a guy the other day that there are only like 4 variations of men in the expanse of the world and he agreed. 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 03:58 AM
47

I love this post. 💜 I think you very eloquently touched on how simple it is to slip into an abuser's hands. Our society is lukewarm to violent men- but they absolutely despise the woman “who lets him.” This sentiment is just neverending in US society. I would go so far as to put "lets" in quotes too. We are duped. It's not open, clear, easy to detect, etc. It is covert and very malicious how they prime and test you. We do not "let" them do anything. We are wholly duped, trained, and eventually t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 03:56 AM
66

You're going to love your 30s, you will see. Men love us at any age. Don't even fret about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 06:10 AM
57

Of all the things the patriarchy made me feel like shit about over the course of my life, age has not been one of them. I really, I mean reeeeally do not give a shit about my age and never will. Maybe it's because I grew up in a very rough area where all of us were very wild at a young age and the number of close friends of mine who passed away reached 20 by the time I was early 20s and I just saw too many kids taken before their time, or maybe it's because I know the patriarchy has stripped a l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 06:06 AM
33

I usually say something like, "I'm so happy you left." Or, "I'm so happy you got yourself out of that." You're right that the statement does sound positive. I just like to reiterate to the girl that it was her that did it. Maybe I'm reading too much into words, but it was my major and sometimes we don't realize the difference it makes. But especially in this case, as I've dealt with it before, it was the hardest thing I've ever done so maybe I'm just trying to bring it back to showing her power …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 03:52 PM
30

This statement is totally wrong to say to an abused woman who LEFT and got herself out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 03:20 PM
3

I moved to a brand new state last year and was tempted to do the same, but I've been off OLD since 2018 and am glad I didn't slip back into it just because adjusting to a new spot can be hard sometimes or we might feel it is a way to meet new people. Be really careful letting any guy know that you're brand new to a place. You see why now probably, but they generally see it as a disadvantage and a weakness and will use it to take advantage of you. It's not logical, but after moving a lot to new s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/22 09:20 PM
114

LOL, every time. They don't know it by looking at me, but I win every time and they're always shocked. Witty mouths make for great scrote repellent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 07:14 AM
14

Thank you! If you go way back into my post history for like hours you'll see I've been saying this for a long time. F the whole system. We gain a lot by leaving en masse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 07:09 AM
9

Girl. This dude is a sadist and to me seems Narc. F that. He was trying to hurt you. By comparison, I've only been scrotating for 4 months with some men, but one of my favorites gave me a spa day and took me to the ballet for my bday this month. Also dinner, blah blah.. Stuff I wanted and love doing. He's not lying though, next year the gift would have been worse, if you got anything at all. That was entirely a set up on his part and I'm glad you saw it for what it was. Don't be hurt. This was v…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 07:03 AM
7

I agree! Nuts to me anyone on FDS would care.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 01:11 AM
13

Unpopular opinion... I saw a few months back, many women ostracizing Billy Eilish on FDS for going blonde and showing some cleavage, yet here we are in full support of a woman who's never contributed much but a sex tape and her looks/sexuality in general. Both Hollywood and the music industry are machines run by men fixated on the male gaze and male pleasure. All of these ladies are living in hell, I feel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 01:09 AM
1

Glad you liked. It's a favorite of mine too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 11:09 PM
6

I agree! Sometimes it's not even the full on rage we might picture, but a man driving a little scary, not using his wipers in rain or snow, etc. When you fight him on it, he fights back and continues to drive this way, meaning he doesn't care if you are perpetually scared in his car. I've never been with someone who had full on road rage, but I've been with tons of men who pull the stuff listed above. One time I was starting to get upset about the way a man drove as we were on our way on a day t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 03:57 PM
31

Yep! They are both your oppressor and your savior and these cycles work like a charm. Neurologically, it rewires our brains to actually become addicted to them. This is why "Why doesn't she just leave?" is nonsensical in these situations. I've read lots of research about the addiction pathways this carves in our brain and it is literally no different than being addicted to a substance like heroin.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 07:52 PM
22

Yep, exactly!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 03:22 PM
2

Thank you for posting this! I've learned this during research over the past 4 years, but every time I mention it nobody seems to want to believe it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 08:36 AM
4

Right?! I like strong women until they actually utilize their strength.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 08:30 AM
238

To me it looks like he was making you break down and then forcing you to look to him for comfort from something he caused in the first place. This is a training technique of an abuser. They hurt you, but they've isolated you so badly or trained you to "face them" when it happens, making it to where he is the source of your pain but also the source of your comfort. This is why it's really important to seek emotional help elsewhere once it's gotten this bad. Tell friends, chat with family, get in …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 07:04 AM
544

It definitely would have been you he hit eventually, whether it took 6 more months or 8 years. I'm so glad you left. I have seen some cookie cutter tells (the types you will find in lists online) as well as things I had to learn the hard way that aren't in every blog list. Here's what I know now: He will tell you something happened that didn't happen or vice versa. You know better, you were right there, but he never lets up on this lie. He's starting the process of brainwashing you via gaslighti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 05:58 AM
5

I would avoid all day on and off chatting with men in any capacity. Your story is one of the millions of reasons why. Don't analyze, don't respond. Block and don't let scrotes waste your time like this. He's living in your head totally rent free right now and is quite frankly just a freaky stalker taking up space in your mind. You don't need that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 05:37 AM
3

I went through the same things in my 20s and unfortunately my early 30s too. I'm thoroughly enjoying my 30s and I no longer feel like what happend during that time period was "wasted" time with the wrong men. But I won't lie, for a long time I was very angry at them. At this stage of my life, I've accepted what happened and how much they wronged me and wasted my time. I kind of laugh at how silly I was and I realize now they entered my life for a reason... and that reason is that I had a lot to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 02:57 AM
4

Oh he is definitely going to take her for a ride, but not the type he is making it sound like.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 08:05 PM
34

Straight from the horses' mouth... The Cheaters' Guide to Love
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 07:02 PM
61

And just to add to that, the men generally NEVER leave the wife from all the times I've seen real people experiencing this in my lifetime. Think about it... why would you when you can have the home and appear normal, and have the exciting side fling too?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 06:56 PM
29

I would really love to start seeing ALL women NOT accept affairs. I see this so often. They stay because of the children, comfort, a fear of looking like a failure, or the old "This is just what men do." A marriage like this canNOT be good for kids. Although I know it has to be extremely difficult, it's bad for the women and the children too. Just..... wtf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 06:53 PM
5

All of them. As in, all of my closest female friends were pickmes. My worst was a girl dating a man 20 years her senior, for what is close to a decade now. He doesn't work and she has a great job and her masters degree. He is also autoimmune and she foots those bills. The worst part? She wants him to marry her and he will not. She's gotten drunk and cried to me about this (8 years ago). Last I heard, she bought a house, with old papa loser moving in, and they still weren't married. I really just…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/22 07:55 PM
81

They're jealous. We are generally better than them (not hard to beat them) and pussy still is and always will be on a pedestal and they know it. 🥱 Die mad, scrotes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/22 12:33 AM
36

Men are sincerely using texting as a way to shape themselves in your eyes before you even meet them and throughout a relationship as well. Ladies, do not get to know a guy through texting. Keep it short, simple, and vet using phone calls and face to face interactions as much as possible. No important conversations between you two should take place in text. No arguments should take place in text. If he's trying to do this, he is fucking with your head. Do not allow it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/22 06:18 PM
10

The only guy I knew who idolized Elon Musk was 45, a grandpa, and dating a 26 year old. She had to play wife, mom, and grandma. They weren't married and had been dating for years. He hired her at his plumbing company and they were also living together for years. Last I heard about them, he proposed during our hardest lockdowns and said, "We will have to wait for the wedding until Covid blows over." Oh, the dude also idolized Joe Rogan. 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 04:08 PM
81

He looks like a walking wrinkly old ball sack.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 05:10 PM
61

I'm really sorry you went through this! It's always amazing to me how much a group of people will not help a woman out when they see foul play. Also, my ENTIRE high school of male teachers operated this way. I remember feeling funny about it, but it so seemed the "norm" that nobody ever spoke up. I have classmates who have children from their coaches. Years later, there were court cases and people speaking up, and when we all got together to chat about it we remembered how truly past the line al…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 03:24 PM
54

Is this girl married to my ex? Dude would put surfing/snowboarding before everything and I found out as I was breaking up with him that he had been meeting with a young girl to "coach" her at the library and that his work set this up. I never, ever believed this story for the record and by the time it came to light, I was already done with him. He kept these "meetings" secret for months. This dude and I were engaged and I was living ex pat in Australia for him at the time. All I could see in my …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 03:08 PM
2

I'm thinking more of teaching emotional intelligence and respect throughout our early education system. Healthy levels of anger, etc. I don't mean that I want to waste my time teaching grown men anything. I refuse to do that because I have fully learned that they know better. Calling out manipulation, gaslighting, negging etc. on a broad spectrum I do think would help because if they keep hearing it from females, they might understand the gig is up en masse. But then again, we risk a lot with th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 11:03 PM
35

I'm a big fan of telling a man "No" about something early on to gauge reaction. Manipulators will not accept it or try to change your mind so it's a quick tell of who you are dealing with right away. I think throwing yourself at a HVM will make him run right away though, too. Being into somebody should happen organically over time. A healthy-minded dude understands that. I still think good men like to chase.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 10:11 PM
34

I agree.. It's not the women's fault for not vetting hard nor correctly enough. It's the man's fault for being an ultra manipulative creep. Unfortunately most women wouldn't believe these types are real outside of movies or the extremes like Ted Bundy, and most of us have to live it at least once to learn that it's real. This was how I found FDS in the first place and I think a lot of us have ended up here for the same reasons. Do not underestimate how GOOD these guys are at what they do. They h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 07:10 PM
90

The trouble with really good manipulators is that they will start letting their mask slip once we are HOOKED. That time frame can vary and they wait until we are INVESTED to start revealing themselves. Con men are actually extremely good at what they do (they have been at it since childhood) and can dupe even the females who generally keep their with wits about them, usually. It's a psychological process, essentially brainwashing, that can work on the best of them. So yes, we should absolutely b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 05:56 PM
43

Been there. Youre so right. It all sounds great before you hit the real world, Lolol. Ex perpetual "cool girl" here. I went from 50/50, paying to get an idiot's car out of repo, ubering myself to pick up my car from getting fixed, perpetual gf to a man who made 160k.... to a dude who I'm letting court me who just payed close to a grand to get my car fixed, bought me a gift certificate to a high end salon (literally spent 3 hours there today), buys any type of food or drink I want at any time, ar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/22 08:29 AM
124

You know what is crazy? Some men even see this and if you really get to talking to some of them, they will say themselves that the reason relationships are crumbling and marriages are declining is because women stopped holding men accountable for almost anything at all. I fully believe what you say. Proactive, HVM do want a challenge. They do go for what they want. They do like a bit of a chase and they do like to PROVIDE and make sure their woman is comfortable. If she's not, as in she looks li…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/22 07:53 AM
66

Never underestimate a man's ability to flip the script.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 03:03 AM
44

OP you make a great point about not stating your standards out loud early on. All I've ever seen men do when I voice a standard is work to break me down/wear me down on it, or like you said, outright lie to make us seem like a match. It is in our best interest to keep our mouths closed about these things for a long time in dating. Let them guess and let them show you who they are instead of faking that they meet your standards or working overtime to erode them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 03:02 AM
90

This in general is what always bothered me about this show, even outside of the sex scenes. These women's entire lives were centered around dick and men. I never thought this show was avant garde in any way. They were all mostly completely neurotic over men. As far as the sex scenes and media in general, unless it's what most would consider a steamy hot actress performing like you said, people don't want to see it. It's Hollywood. Sex sells but only a certain type of sex that caters to men and m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 07:48 AM
108

I did this and all it did was expose me to men who really aren't healthy for me or for any girl, really. Men are spinning plates on there and unless you are an incredibly emotionally closed off person, chances are you are going to get roped in with some of the worst types fuckbois. It can be a good way to test yourself, but remember, men on there are doing nothing but testing us too and with hormones involved, it's hard to beat this kind of system. If you don't have any intention to date, I woul…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 07:29 PM
15

This girl is in a highly emotionally abusive relationship. There is a reason for all the cognitive dissonance and it's not because she is a dumbass. It's because she is being abused. Her statement at the end about how she is strong and will not be manipulated, is because she was strong and cannot believe, YET, how badly she got manipulated by this dude. Abusers can oftentimes choose very strong women to manipulate, gaslight, and dupe. Cognitive dissonance from gaslighting and manipulation takes …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 06:50 PM
10

I left a very covert narcissist two years ago. Your happy will come back even if though I know it is impossible to imagine that right now. I didn't think mine would come back, but it did. Just keep taking very good care of yourself! I'm so happy you're free!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 11:53 PM
163

Hmmm... my brother was very similar and lived many years of a heaux phase, and eventually cheated on his wife as they were signing the papers on a brand new home. My point is not that one man's actions can define them all, but that men who act recklessly with sex and hookups, save the nudes, save the texts are very much a certain type of dude who will just get good at hiding his personality for a while. It will come out again later. I think you should trust your hunch about madonna/whore complex…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/21 08:10 PM
19

Ever since I was very little I've really seen men take their insecurities or shortcomings in life out onto their families. They use their family as the punching bag because the family members are too fucked, stuck, young to leave him. He's safe to be his "true" self with them and he knows they can't escape it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 06:16 PM
23

I dated a guy like this. To be honest, I actually think they are gay or at least bi and just would NEVER come to terms with it in themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 06:11 PM
15

Oh God I second this. I dated a pilot! Regular pilot and also hot air balloon pilot who also manufactures hot air balloons! His ego was insane. His friends egos were insane. I waited 6 months to sleep with him, only to find out...... literal micropenis 🤣. I laughed so hard because the man had a great dane, so many huge hot air balloons, giant vans. Lololol. But man, I learned so much about pilots and the aviation community... They are all drunks. Very few kept women and were good to them. I can …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 06:07 PM
12

I really believe this is the root of most LVM or NVM shitty actions; they are jealous of us. I say jealous in a very broad context too. We look better. We take care of things better. Our emotional intelligence is through the roof. I've always believed this. When a woman is at her best (well, it's not even necessary to be at our best to outshine scrotes), we outshine them by a long shot. Hell, most of us on our worst days can outshine the majority of scrotes. I really believe this breeds a lot of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 05:58 PM
76

You're so right about this. It's like do you want Madonna or the Whore? Thin or thick. One of the guys or the type who only eats salads and goes to bed at 8. They want all and they want nothing from women at the same time. Tbh, men truly don't even know what they want at all and I think it makes them mad when we clearly state what we do want. Another form of jealousy really. We had to be picky. We had to dodge creeps our whole lives. So now? We know what we want and, son...you aren't it. 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 04:52 PM
204

My favorite is when they say we must all be hags who can't get a man. Lmao. The problem is that men will not leave us alone. Ones we don't want. Ones who don't measure up. Ones who keep their bar in hell and expect us to swoon. Ones who don't make any money. Ones who don't have any long term goals. Ones who sexually harass us. Ones who think messing with our heads and manipulation is the way to go with women Ones who have pedophilic tendencies. Ones who are after our bank account (yes, gold digg…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 02:55 PM
2

Yeah all the time. And that's exactly it! I know they would be quick to toss me under the bus too so I don't give them anything to work with. Not only do I keep my mouth shut about others, I keep my mouth shut about myself too. I give them no ammo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 07:43 AM
4

What the actual fuck am I looking at? 😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 07:41 AM
9

Yes! Some men do these large, wild gifts just to look good to others. You have to really listen to your gut in these situations because noone on the outside looking in will agree with you when you aren't happy with the dude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 07:31 AM
49

I dated a man for far too long that exhibited these types of behavior. He would lavish me with expensive holidays, high end clothing, etc. but if I needed the smallest thing from him (drive me to the doctor when I am sick) it was like pulling teeth. People thought I had it so good because they saw us traveling all over the world, saw how many nice things I had. Well the trips were mostly for him (hey, he got enjoyment out of them too) and I realized the money he was dropping on me to better myse…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 07:19 AM
1

Yeah I agree! It is very frustrating. I mean that I just don't spill what other people have told me about anyone else or themselves. It's amazing how much they will tell you over time because they realize you are trustworthy and won't say anything to others, so you end up getting a nice overall view of the way things are really working between people at work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/21 10:24 PM
2

Honestly, I ignore the weird gossip circles they might try to rope me into but I have learned to play nice with them and even sit with them during these "chats" but just keep my mouth shut. They soon understand you aren't the type and will generally get the picture once they see you are nice but that you won't go there. Probably the best thing I've ever learned in work that has kept me afloat with toxic groups is not to play into it but still remain cordial. I have even been told I'm a "neutral"…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/21 08:48 PM
47

I think in the workplace women are always expected to go above and beyond because it is supposed to be "in our nature" to do what's best for everyone and carry a team or others to victory. I have been very guilty of attempting to do this in the past, but it was somehow never enough. I have even had male supervisors tell me that I need to be "more motherly." I was 22 at the time, no kids, no marriage. I was just as offended back then as I am now. I do not participate in the fake complement parade…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/21 02:25 AM
3

🤢 Thanks for another reason to stay off of there. Haven't been on in 2 years and have no urge to ever get on, but this is icing on the cake.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 05:05 PM
26

Yeah I used to do a lot of this type of stuff by utilizing humor. The more experience I gained, the more I realized I was training them to act how they naturally wouldn't act. This is a weird balance to try to find with them though because you want to keep your own standards high. But in relationships where I did this and thought I was sticking up for myself or something, they all fell apart in the end because the scrote mostly reverted back to his natural self. What I learned is eventually the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 04:54 PM
41

Right? Oldest piece of advice in the book to impress and be kind to a woman is to open the door for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 04:50 PM
48

I hate dudes who walk totally out of tune with me like this. Won't ever put up with it again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 04:49 PM
92

YEP! It sure is. Even more rude was the one I trusted the most getting pushy and not hearing, "No" the first 47 times. 15+ years of friendship down the drain. This kind of stuff used to really hurt me, but it's happened so much that I do not care anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 04:23 PM
203

I used to have a ton. They all tried sleeping with me eventually. These were men (boys) I had been close to for over 15 years. I have dropped every single one of them and will never try for male friends again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 02:19 PM
2

What?! I don't think I ever knew that but I think when I look back I have a very faint memory of that when FB first started and I was in college. Gross. All of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 07:38 AM
8

Great start! Add like 45+ more things to this. Dig deep!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 12:13 AM
3

I made like a 3 page list of what I want in a man one time. It was just a "write it down as soon as you think it" exercise. It really helped me understand what my wants/needs are. I also did the same with what I don't fucking want/red flags I have endured that were bad news. Both of these lists are super close to my heart and I really recommend this exercise!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 12:13 AM
14

Same! Like wha the fah. The CEOs of these companies are all men and most are owned by the same men. Soooo..... wouldn't a man want to rig the game in a way that gives him easy access to literally thousands of women he would never have access to nor a chance with, and do the same for his fellow "bros" along the way? The game isn't rigged in our favor, as per usual. I hope more and more women wake up to this absolute fucking dupe on us as a whole.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 08:47 PM
7

What he really wants in contacting you is another chance to demean you and tell you how wrong you are and further emotionally abuse you. He knows what he did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 07:38 AM
7

Time alone to very much understand red flags of the dark tetrad. A very long list of absolute deal breakers and a very long list of what you really want in a healthy partner. This has worked for me. I used to be overly paranoid and distrustful after leaving a guy like this, but eventually you even out. Also, dig. Dig. Dig. Instantcheckmate for court records ($30/month subscription), dig all social media, view his devices if you can, get any and all info about him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 02:18 AM
9

Totally! I've been saying this for a while now and although I had my own dating issues to work out, I still feel like these types are more common than not. Current society also caters to them via social media, etc. Social media also gives them a fantastic hunting ground.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 02:08 AM
26

I have seen this with these types. Last guy I dated kept older women around and I suspected it was in ties with their very young and good looking daughters. I wasn't wrong. I found screenshots of the daughter's FB pics in a hidden folder on his phone. Vomit. Just trust your gut that you were absolutely right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 02:07 AM
9

It's so gross. You can literally feel their mouths watering. Nasty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 02:04 AM
34

The only thing that works with these types is grey rocking (becoming very boring with dull neutral answers to everything) or flat out block ignore. You should not use grey rocking if you are in a living situation or daily close quarters with one. It really irritates them since they know things have changed and from there they can blow and things can get physical. When I left one that I was living with (had been planning it for months) I just became agreeable. Not overly so so that it didn't seem…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 02:04 AM
17

Yep! For me it's all in that instant smirk or piercing look like they are hoping you are easy prey. It's easy to spot if you read between the lines and watch facial reactions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 02:01 AM
46

Yeah. This is called everyday sadism. They enjoying seeing others in pain and when we are manipulated and confused it shows on us. They actually enjoy (meaning serotonin released) this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 02:00 AM
19

Yeah that's another good point. They ALWAYS weasel their way out of things. People always buy their side of the story because they are masters at lying and manipulation. This is how they go undetected from officials and the general population. I've seen it time and time again with these types. Most people absolutely adore them and buy their side, so it can be very very isolating once you get involved with one. Noone will believe you about how bad it really is or how manipulative he really is. Ed…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 01:58 AM
109

Yeah totally! After having the unfortunate experience of meeting a few, I researched this stuff a lottt... I mean for years. The biggest thing I learned was you can pretty much tell within their few sentences to you. Things you can look for: A devilish smirk and/or overly piercing eyes. Seem like they have a general problem with females as a whole. You can smell the contempt. They are quick to tell you about how they got one over on someone or squeaked their way out of getting caught with someth…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 11:08 PM
18

The big issue I see here is sleeping over after only 7 dates. Too soon. It sounds like he landed what he wanted out of the bedroom, got what he came for, and wanted to move on. Be careful with getting too physical too soon. It usually doesn't end well for us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 09:40 PM
190

This was socio or psychopath. Any of the dark tetrad and it's pretty alarming how many men have these qualities.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 09:37 PM
46

I've never really pursued a man but what I did was overly let him know I was an option and kept taking his bait. Wow, what do you know. In all of those types of relationships, I got treated like an option long after we were solidified. Magic. 🐰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 03:18 PM
34

Because... males aren't necessary. You want one. You don't need one. Which indictates a bit that you don't feel whole by yourself as you're depressed by it. Said it before somewhere on here, but wanting these things is fine and I never said it wasn't natural. If you're feeling less than because you don't "have a man," something is wrong. There's tons of advice in this thread explaining why.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 02:32 AM
7

I was once in a similar spot. Just know that if you see this through and can hang tough until it is over, there is joy on the other side. You are strong enough to get through it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 02:01 AM
29

Oh they are actually scarce. Very much so 🤣. That's why it's a smart move to not get hung up on finding one. You're going to be let down a lot until a good one comes along. In fact, a good one is going to come along when you are at full confidence in being alone (they f your plans up this way, is what I've found) LOL. A true HVM will want a girl who feels just as great alone as she does with a partner. If you are dating and feeling the scarcity mindset, men can really sense that and they prey up…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 12:58 AM
54

There is nothing at all wrong with wanting children and a husband in the future, but once we hit this desperate or depressed stage of wanting to land one quickly and start a family, that's where we really risk settling for bs and compromising ourselves. Just be careful of falling into scarcity mindset. It can be really damaging to us in the long run to think that way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 10:13 PM
93

I used to feel this way after becoming newly single from a 13 year long relationship (yes, I was a 🤡). I was embarrassed and I just generally wanted someone next to me. Eventually, I had a change of mindset and remembered how awful it was to be with someone who really wasn't right for me. Then I thought about how common it is that people end up in these relationships where they really aren't satisfied and are settling. I thought about how even when the man was treating me right, living with a ma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 05:55 PM
1

It wasn't based on the book at all. It was like an earlier version of FDS with articles posted. You should check it out! I think FDS has it listed in their Wiki or links somewhere.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 04:38 PM
57

I want to see a woman work her way through the corporate ladder with absolutely zero romance or men involved in her life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 04:59 AM
1

Yeah I definitely appreciate the discussion! Have you seen heartlessbitchesinternational.com? It seems like there was an earlier time when women started to awaken and really wanted to take that word back. I do agree this is a bit outdated thinking, but I see where earlier sisters were going with it. They got sick of being called that. I use the word "dickhead" and "bitch" freely to describe men or call them that to their face. All is fair in love and war, I guess? LOL. Probably not the most poli…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 03:32 AM
22

I was on these apps for about 2 years 6 years ago and all I met were fuckbois. Even ones that seemed HV really just seemed to be spinning plates, as they had a very endless catalogue to do so. I learned really quickly that my chances of meeting "the one" on there was slim to none and the amount of time to chat, swipe, meet up, and get disappointed just was draining to my life. I was 28 when I stopped using those apps and I haven't looked back since (now 35).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/21 09:03 PM
6

I see what you mean, but since we can be called bitches often for putting ourselves first, I see this as a way to take that word back and make it empowering for ourselves rather than letting it cut us down. The idea that it's a complement was kind of a revolutionary concept at the time. Language and words are really powerful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/21 08:55 PM
6

So funny, I was just thinking about this book and this exact question! There is some really great advice in there about putting yourself first, but where the book falls short for me is that the end goal is how to get a man. If it had more in it about being happily single until you encounter a man who is acting right, I would give it an A instead of a B. For me, I've really picked out parts from the book that were most beneficial for me and have ignored the rest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/21 08:51 PM
2

I think I can wrap ALL of my bad tendencies up into, "If he has treated me like shit, I must have deserved it somehow." I had no idea men did this for fun on such a rampant scale. I had no idea so many men inherently really do just HATE women. I always blamed myself for being treated poorly. I'd listen to the gaslighting and let untrue words sink deep into my bones from generally angry, bitter men. F that. Never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/21 05:38 AM
4

You're so right 🤣. I am very upfront about issues and I've never met a guy who could handle that. They would actually rather you play mind games about it, but I seriously do not even have the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/21 05:27 AM
3

You are absolutely right. I come from a highly manipulative, dysfunctional, and destructive family, so you can imagine the men I chose in my life later on. I was in fact surrounded by assholes LOL. I was overly apologetic and constantly felt worthless around these people. So, I moved states, blocked all the shit heads, am really extremely low contact with my parents, and zero contact with most siblings and gave up on dating for about 2 years. It's funny when you spend like 6 months away from the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 07:03 PM
2

in the same breath, hammered to be good selfless forgiving martyrs because if not - you are the incarnation of the devil itself Dead on. The game is to strip us entirely and make us subservient to the whim of really anyone else but ourselves!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 06:56 PM
7

One time, when I was full blown idiot over men, I had been seeing a guy for a couple weeks and his bday 30th bash was coming up. We had chatted about the Arctic blah blah so I had the intention of getting him a nice coffee table book about the Arctic. Well. Blizzards hit, stores closed, I was overworked and all I could get him was a used book. But even back then, I actually didn't care as I had only been seeing him for 2 weeks. Well. He did an extravagant party with tons of people and everyone g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 08:23 AM
20

Agree with this! When I am dressed well and feeling great I usually do not get looks or get approached. The opposite happens qhen I look and feel like absolute shit. I'd say you're dead on with this. Confidence frightens most men away, it seems.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 08:09 AM
21

Absolutely. Men really only believe other men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 08:06 AM
10

I love this! This has been ongoing work for me to break this habit, and I have since been called some rancid names since I really started not flipping out about the smallest things, but I really dgaf. My favorite has been a scrote in my life calling me an "Inconsiderate Bitch" or just IB for short. I'll take it. 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 08:05 AM
35

LMAO about The Office! I'm thinking back to all of the most painstakingly boring scrotes I know and yep.... This checks out! 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 08:00 AM
210

I think it's because men have a habit of leaving a woman high and dry once he is content enough, finds someone new, etc etc etc. There just are not guarantees with men, so throwing away the ability to be also self sufficient on your own is a death sentence in a lot of cases for us. I know so many women who went this route and lost it all in the process. Husband was a state trooper who ended up on drugs and a divorce was necessary, woman couldn't find a job since she had only been a housewife for…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 07:57 AM
4

Makes me think of how my brothers get away with everything in my family and I am skinned alive for the smallest things, when my brothers are usually doing double that, plus some.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 07:50 AM
7

I am still working hard to break the habit of apologizing for, well.... EVERYTHING I do as a woman. It somehow just never seems that I'm doing anything in the "right" way, socially. Anyone else experience this or am I just magically surrounded by assholes (ie. Mostly men who think they have any room or space to tell me how to "be")? 🤣 The only place I do not get this as much is in a professional setting with my current job, but even then, I've had plenty of jobs with male advisors or colleagues …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 07:49 AM
74

The reason his proposal was so "meh" is because he unfortunately felt "meh" about marrying her, period. Men show you how they feel. It's real simple, actually.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 12:37 AM
36

This is THE post!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 06:52 PM
110

If this really even happened, it's not that hard to slap someone's hand off of you underneath a table and have it go undetected. I had to do this at a work function once in front of colleagues (yay the joys of being a woman, sometimes). The guy didn't stop and I didn't stop slapping his hand either until I won out. Please tell me this "man" couldn't end this. Lolololll. "It was kinda hot" is all you need to know. He's a cheater.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 08:24 AM
20

He should give a Ted Talk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 08:25 AM
12

This is one of the first things I look for in a guy and it's amazing how many of them do not pass this simple test. It's not even about being bigger than other men. It's a personality trait that men either have or don't have. There really isn't an in-between.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 08:08 AM
79

You're right that they are complimentary. The topic they are bringing up in an attempt to bring you down, is one that you are kicking ass in. If it's about your looks, he feels too ugly for you. If it's about your education, he knows he's dumber than you, etc. It's all just fucked up code talk. One general statement I like to use is: "Try not to let your insecurities spill out all over the floor" and then I move on. Think about how harsh that is for a man to hear that he is insecure, LOLOL. I li…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 08:03 AM
92

Holy hell the jerking off stuff sounds like it turned him on to hear you were getting treated badly. What a scary fucking dude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 07:55 AM
27

Bingo!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 07:51 AM
60

What an absolutely rotten man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 07:49 AM
113

A really good girlfriend I had a long time ago told me to ignore compliments from people, that they really don't mean anything. I learned as I got older what she meant by that, but this is especially true with men. Whether it's a compliment or a neg, it allows someone else to give the narrative on who we are, what we are good at, how we look, how we feel, etc. It's really just letting someone else define us or define our reality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 07:47 AM
16

Guy finally is lucky enough to land any type of female and he can't stop telling her about physical preferences he has in females. It's like thank your lucky stars she even lets you look at her and get on with yourself. T actual f. Guy is lucky enough to land a female but can't stop talking details about his exes. Your father, brother can't stop talking about which females are pretty, hot, etc. in front of you. Guy automatically says a female is right about anything at all if he wants to sleep w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 09:47 PM
10

Yep! Such lovely creatures they are to always be looking to exploit and conquer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 09:42 PM
36

Talking furniture 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 08:07 AM
72

I am reminded of a wonderful comment that men are vultures not predators. They only prey on the weak and vulnerable Not quite true. The most skilled manipulators and insecure men will pick females who are strong, secure, and otherwise successful to get in her good graces and slowly erode her over time. They can't stand seeing a female who is generally better than them on all fronts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 08:05 AM
4

Why is this so damn true? It's like payback for every time they couldn't get a decent or HV woman. Once they do get one, they take out all the anger on her from the times they didn't. Sucks to be depraved and LV.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 06:10 AM
5

IME they don't ever think about it and it turns into mini harassment about how you are out of your mind. These types of arguments or statements just aren't worth your time I've learned. The chances you will get them to see the light are slim to none (mostly none) so I don't even waste my breath anymore. I guess it's a form of dumb fox credo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 10:14 PM
9

Wow. It's like he took the littlest opportunity to flip the script and ran with it. IME lots of men do this bs!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 10:12 PM
61

This is an age old story in my life with most men I've dated. I view it as a form of manipulation from the man. He is testing boundaries with you and he wants a reaction out of you. They are fully aware of what they are doing and they are fully aware of exactly how disrespectful and hurtful it is. It is just another form of negging and a way to "cut you down to size." You see this BS out of a man again, you get rid of him but do not ever tell him why. The argument will be neverending and it will…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 07:28 AM
2

RIGHT?! "I'll give you everything! Just do as I say..." As he fucks her whole life up... Narc stuff to a T. That line from the movie actually got me out of a highly abusive relationship with a Narcissist as well as many other bad scenarios with shit men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/21 07:41 PM
2

I love this movie! This is so funny. I will always remember this when I see Chads in herds being assholes. 😂 The ultimate line of this movie? "You have no power over me." I have pulled at this line more than once to get me out of bad situations with men. It's amazing how empowering this movie really is for young women. I watched it religiously when I was younger and even try to watch it about once year during adulthood. I sometimes I attribute my attitude of "I'll do things my own way, thanks" t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/21 09:13 AM
24

Without knowing the area and what's available there, I cannot offer much for specific advice but I would look for any type of shelter, church, or even children's shelters would be able to direct her to the help she needs. As far as her mental state, I really know all too well exactly how exhausting this really is. Leaving was the hardest thing I've ever done. I didn't have the strength to even get my suitcases into my car. I can't explain the mental warpedness being abused makes you feel. I don'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 07:39 AM
3

I have a story in my family line where a great great aunt of mine shot a man who was in the middle of raping her. He still lived and he still finished. Knowing firearms and the type you have for close contact etc. is a lot of the battle, but it does not solve everything. Regardless, I'd never live alone without protection...ever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 10:11 PM
10

You couldn't catch me dead living alone without a firearm after everything I've seen and read in my lifetime. Guys zero in on girls living alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 10:09 PM
10

We aren't allowed to here either but I still will. I'd rather be in jail than dead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 10:07 PM
5

Consider the pepper spray gel so that it doesn't also affect your vision as much when sprayed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 10:07 PM
5

This is SO true. Especially if you are living alone. I also put some self protection in various spots in my car like pepper spray, a knife, and I even have bricks in there. You'd be surprised how easy it is for someone to grab you while you're filling up your car, etc. You can stash things in your vehicle (lighter dumb bells, a baseball bat, etc.) that wouldn't necessarily be considered a weapon!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 10:06 PM
6

I have a question for this thread... How do you ladies react when a man does this to you? Oogles other women right in front of you over and over? I pretend to not notice because to me it seems like they want the "jealous" reaction and I utterly refuse to give them what they're fishing for. But I always wonder what's best here. Usually I will wait for our date or whatever to end and just start doing a slow fade. I think any argument on this one (been there a million x) results in the dude gasligh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 06:34 AM
20

She SHOULD be talking about what a smart and strong girl you were to break the Vulcan mind grip of domestic violence and got out -not all women make it. The Vulcan mind grip! I love this description SO much! ps. I somehow made it out of that and it was the hardest, most exhausting thing I've ever done in my life. This "friend" should be celebrating her breaking free every single day honestly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 05:15 AM
5

Yeah this is really common, I've found. What I've dealt with is women saying, "How could you fall into that?" You know, the general perpetual blame that victims get. This sounds like a terrible friend who lives in a glass house that will surely shatter in the future. I hope you have the guts to kind of just leave this one in the dust!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 05:14 AM
25

You know it happens. Just didn't make it to the clip. If this is what she is willing to show publicly, we can only imagine what she keeps quiet about. Hurl.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 05:10 AM
21

I actually have a guy I have to be around doing this to me lately. We are not dating nor even close, but this scrote actually feels like it is a way to "get" me competing for him. My favorite thing ever when a guy pulls this is to fully act like I do not even notice what he did, and just keep ignoring him and keep him at bay. Eventually these types just look like monkeys at the circus hopping for your attention. Dude wants a jealous response from me? Would make him feel special in his little fee…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 10:36 PM
7

Agreed! When a man starts announcing things about himself right away, you can pretty much guarantee it is the opposite that is true. A genuine man will not need to announce anything. He will show you who he is with his actions. Anything other than that is just manipulation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 10:31 PM
15

Can we add this to the handbook? You brought the whole house down with this comment. Also, I love that you mention it's sub par men doing this. ALWAYS. They are inherently jealous that you have more to pick from so they try to make sure they maintain control by scroting themselves out on any woman possible. I can't stand these types of men. Such a headfuck bs mind game.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 10:25 PM
5

Good for you! YAY!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 10:21 PM
33

Everything everyone is saying here is correct. I have been to hell and back with these types of men (why are they SO common?) but the obvious checking out of women around me has always bothered me. I used to just accept it as "men" but that is inaccurate. They can control it and all I was really accepting was disrespect. These types of men are absolute hell to sign up with in dating. Don't do it. It will not get better, it will keep getting worse. He's going to drive you to absolute insecurity i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 06:49 PM
27

I'm so sorry that happened to you and I can totally relate to that. Every time a man has sincerely done me wrong or got too pushy for sex or stalked me when I didn't want him around anymore or etc etc etc. I was always blamed and they were always the victim somehow. I can say with absolute certainty that 99.999% of men flip the script when they've done you wrong, whether physically or emotionally. It's uncanny, really. Men sincerely freak me out for this reason. Their ability to flip the script …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 07:34 AM
6

I've done this too! I literally document everyone and everything that happens in my life. You are dead on about how subtle they are if you don't know what to look for! Being able to recognize red flags and read between the lines is absolutely crucial in dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 10:24 PM
7

I'm a really good cook but will not be cooking for a man who isn't my husband ever again. Even then, what hubby gets from me will sparse. He will be the main cook. If food is important to you, find a dude who loves cooking instead of devoting literally months of your time during the span of your lifetime to cooking for a man. I truly can't think of a bigger waste of time than cooking for a dude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 10:21 PM
128

Honestly her dad sounds like most men I have met.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 10:15 PM
7

Accurate af! When I started really understanding that you're screwed either way like this is when I was really able to let go of the idea that I need or even want a man. They are scary as hell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 08:24 PM
13

I have tried to talk about this a lot and I'm always surprised when women don't agree or understand. I have even heard men say things like "Your sister is so pretty there's no way she ever would have ended up normal." Meaning men always overly mess with pretty women. They will say it themselves. It's true. Pretty women are preyed upon much harder and men manipulate them harder to add another hot one to the notches on their bed post. From what I've seen, men tend to get more angry and more jealou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 05:46 PM
67

🤣 Can't tell you how many times some girl thought I wanted her LVM rat. It was more like he was interested in me and I was grossed out but I somehow became the enemy. Girl, nobody wants your little bridge troll. Fml.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/21 11:31 AM
50

They will leave you hanging at the drop of a hat for a man's attention. This can get dangerous at times.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/21 11:30 AM
27

Absolutely. The women who scream about problems with women really are the problems themselves. I know because I used to be one of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/21 11:28 AM
58

Totally! I have weird people sneaking into my DMs from years and years ago trying the same old shit with me. Not today, Satan. Not today. In fact, not this year, month, week. I've since landed my dream job, moved somewhere I truly love, leveled way up at work and am just consistently making waves at my job over and over. Something big is going to come out of it and I'm just not stopping my efforts there. Life opens up and the Universe blesses you when you follow what's best for you. People will …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 09:26 AM
115

I'd agree that this guy seems passive aggressively covertly punishful. These types of scrotes are the worst of all in my experience because the issue never comes to a head. You just silently suffer alone questioning yourself for a long time as to if what you are experiencing is real. Spoiler alert: it's real and I promise that even if you brought it up, this guy will never validate you. He is the type to play sneaky headgames which can really leave us very disoriented. I'm so happy to hear you a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 09:13 AM
7

Lived this. It was fucking crazy. When he finally escalated to physical abuse he had clocked my face and my nose felt like it was floating around on my face for MONTHS. Guess what? Not one mark was left nor any indication at all. Nobody could see it. I still don't understand how I didn't have a bruise. My eye socket hurt as well for months. These men absolutely are more manipulative and insidious than they used to be. I truly believe that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 01:32 AM
103

An old baby! 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 07:28 AM
61

Right. This sounds like an interview from a hobosexual. 🤣 I'm sorry you even wasted your minutes on this dude, OP. If it's OLD, don't even bother anymore. Delete your apps.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 07:28 AM
142

I found something similar in my ex's phone after he swore to me he deletes this stuff after a relationship ends to "be respectful." Girrrrrl. This is THE. LAST. STRAW. Pack your backs and get into you car. You will figure out the rest as you go. Walk out. Do it. Grab your shit and go!!!! Edit: Do not argue. Do not tell him. Pack your shit, get into your car, drive a little bit and call a friend when you are far enough away. I know it's hard but you have no other choice...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 02:20 AM
12

Do I just have to be a bitch? Yes. Start on being this way now, not tomorrow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 01:38 AM
35

Agreed! Men still do this when they really like a woman! They will move a damn skyscraper for her and make shit happen. He wouldn't be caught dead making a girl he likes pay. That would be embarrassing for a genuine man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 05:27 PM
30

I once gave a grand to a man whose car was repoed. I received a covert threat in text about the money and knew I had to do it. He promised it would never happen again but woah what do you know... it happened again. I have spent absolutely zero dollars on a male since and that was three years ago. All we can do is keep trying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 05:18 PM
44

I randomly remembered lastnight how much he used social media to flirt with women all over the world. Some he knew since he toured, some he did not. Some were past flings. Etc etc. I was in a world of shit with all of that. Lastnight I thought about how his 38 year old fat, divorced ass with two children is definitely still doing this. If he's dating, then the poor girl he has roped into his chaos is or will be dealing with it too when she finally sees what's going on. He never stopped with me, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 05:06 PM
59

It's more like dumpster diving and trying to find the good hamburger. Good luck with that! 👍 Ladies who have been on there for years will tell you it's not really working out. Very very very few get lucky, just like every once in a while, there really is a whole hamburger in the dumpster. Since the odds are so very low on being in my favor, why would I keep playing and exposing myself to absolutely horrible men over and over? Tf are we high on? I don't enjoy gambling when the odds of me losing a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 04:59 PM
4

Crawled out of a whale's ass!!!!! 🤣 FDS ladies are the funniest humans on the planet. This whole thread is killing me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 09:12 AM
7

I just had flashbacks to the one gamer I dated and I actually did this. Fml. 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 09:10 AM
14

That's my favorite. Cuz I didn't know how to live at all before this guy so it's like thank God I met him and he's offering his golden chicken mcnuggets of advice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 09:10 AM
6

This is the comment of all comments on FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 09:06 AM
4

I personally love it when they talk about their ex whom they had threesomes with and when officers found out, he was discharged from the military because she was married to a soldier and that is a huge fucking no. Too detailed? 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 09:04 AM
22

YES. Don't forget pilots!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 08:59 AM
42

I dated one in 2016 and my couch (brand new at the time) is still dented from his fat, lazy ass. I have a daily reminder in my living room to never date gamers. 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 08:58 AM
28

They will communicate about things they care about. They will always have an opinion about shit they care about. So if he can't do it with you or in regards to your relationship, you're in hot water.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 08:52 AM
34

Bingo. It's not that he can't express them. He can. It's that if he does, he's going to lose you so instead he plays games. It's simple, really. When men feel things they say that shit out loud. Always. Even if it's something nobody wants to hear, is grotesque, goes against the grain, might land him in jail, etc. Lololol. You can always depend on a scrote speaking his sorry little mind. So if he pretends he can't??? You're being toyed with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 08:48 AM
29

If easing your mind is your goal, stay away from anyone that knew both of you. It sounds extreme but hey. We have to get extreme sometimes to protect our minds. This means blocking and getting rid of all mutual friends and going lone wolf if you have to. The less you know, the better. Just focus on healing up and getting rid of anyone who is going to fill you in. You don't need it and you don't need them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 08:42 AM
91

I remember once I took a women writer's class and it was generally all out feminist. We had group projects at the end of the class and one girl gave her harrowing tale of being abused with tears streaming down her face. It was very cliche tactics the guys used like telling her what to wear, etc. I froze up during her presentation. Although her abuse didn't quite match mine, I knew very very deep down inside that I was experiencing something similar. It was so buried in me I could hardly recogniz…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 08:20 AM
31

Dying laughing because if I had a nickel for every time I heard that or something resembling that in not so many words, I could buy myself an island.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 05:27 AM
7

Absolutely it was awful. I'm sorry you did too! I'm in such a good spot now that I am truly grateful for the experience and I'm not sure I would have ever wisened up about how to protect myself properly without it. Weird, I know, but this is really where I'm at now but it did take work to get here and like your post resonates, FDS was the main culprit to get me here along with researching abuse verrrry in-depth. Yes, we are always blamed. If you look around, no matter what happens to women, we a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 05:23 AM
27

Fully agree with this. If they didn't do these types of things, they would never be able to trick us into sleeping with them. Which is really the end all goal. Pussy is still on a pedestal and always will be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 05:09 AM
33

Also the guy who fucked a raw chicken and got salmonella. 🤏 Never forget.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 05:08 AM
5

Oh my God please do it!!!!!!!!! Tell me where to donate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 12:56 AM
18

Normally I would blame myself, but I genuinely didn't know any better and had no idea how to vet for a partner because my parents basically had the same abusive relationship dynamic. Even though nobody taught me anything, even though nobody warned me about the monsters out there, I still got blamed for "choosing the wrong guy." It was directly tied to my value as a person somehow. Are you me?! Nobody taught me anything about the real games men play. I was wandering the earth like a bunny in a fi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 12:54 AM
74

I have almost never had decent reactions from men when I put up boundaries. They always twist it. They always smear me. They always try to gaslight me about why I'm "wrong." They always get angry. They always see it as a challenge. Not all the time but 99.99998% of the time. Not all men but 99.99998% of them. (Just to "be fair" to scrotes) 😉🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 12:46 AM
153

I was just thinking today about how men will only say a girl is smart or amazing if he really wants to bang her. It's like they can't disseminate the two. That is monkey brained thinking and clearly shows they are stupid if they base a person's intelligence on whether or not they really want to have sex with them. 🤣🤣🤣 What a circus act. Edit: It's almost as if....stay with me..... they only think with their dick? Which is about as intelligent as an amoeba would be and even that is giving them a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 12:38 AM
37

Exactly. Men generally hide weaknesses or hard times from women they genuinely like to appear strong. It's real simple, actually.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 07:48 PM
15

No. Narcs use outlets like this to appear HV. Vet all men equally. I don't care how many soup kitchens he volunteered at.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 12:54 AM
25

What do you mean "later on was a LVM." ? All this is is LVM bullshit. Don't date, puh lease, until you fully understand all of the red flags in this scene. It should have ended at the fake number. Seems like he has a bone to pick about that. This is like 40 different attempts at not accepting her "No." It's like how many ways does she have to say it? She made it clear, so leave her alone. This isn't romance. It's disrespect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 12:44 AM
102

I like how one comment from a random on the internet makes her deny her own gut so quickly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 08:10 PM
10

Something not as creepy but similar happened to me with a pizza delivery guy while I was living alone once. He texted me to ask me out after delivering to me. I didn't report him because had such a creepy ass lost his job over me, it's likely he would retaliate and he knew where I lived. I just couldn't risk it because to me, men who do things like this anyway are clearly unstable/unhealthy.... and they have your address.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 08:35 AM
81

🤣 Right? It's like why jump through all the mental gymnastics. Just say it out loud and get on with your life, you old scrote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 08:01 AM
12

You're dead on with this. ONLY their women at home get it behind closed doors, really. They hide it so well from others, people would almost never believe they are this way. What pansies. They have to do it in secret to loving women who are generally smaller and physically weaker them. These guys SO low.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 06:15 AM
245

Bingo! I've learned men will use a real guy friend as their excuse and say they are meeting with that guy instead of the girl's actual name. Or they will just make a male friend up out of thin air. Ya know... Dave is really Jessica the whole time. Old shit and I've seen it a million x. I'd bet money Matt is a girl. Think about it. What two men at that age go out often to eat at fancy restaurants together??? Ridiculous. He's cheating... And this partial truthing makes liars feel better about what…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 07:59 PM
3

It's always been present. People think Reddit Red Pillers created PUAs and such. Not the case. Many men have easily learned these tactics just by existing and doing what boys do on the playground at lunch. None of it is new and Reddit is not the creative end all for how these fools act and have acted for a long time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 08:06 AM
11

Every step of this was the wrong choice. Kids, age gap, driving to a man, talking a month before spending a weekend together, all of it. I'm going to say some stuff that is probably going to make you furious in the moment, but will possibly save your life - and no I'm not being overdramatic here. I mean that it could save your life and soul. I'm not blaming you for getting involved in this situation. We have been so watered down across the board as women to accept utter bullshit that it seems no…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 04:19 AM
9

Agreed! These are the sick types that love the negative attention....and we just keep handing it to them. Wtf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 10:06 AM
30

I'm with you on this. I canNOT believe how much this is most men's just general way of functioning. It really is crazy once you realize the full spectrum of numbers of men who act like this with the DARVO and gaslighting. Like it's happening on a mass scale interpersonally and on a mass scale societally. What the actual f. Most men really are communicating in bad faith, lying, flipping the script, feigning ignorance or feigning that they are the victims somehow, and just generally refusing to be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 08:39 AM
46

Uh. The age gap should have this girl running.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 01:17 AM
153

They realize the reason FDS exists is because men generally won't leave us the fuck alone, right? And they know that means we can easily all get laid in about 4 seconds by just existing, so..... they understand we are not incels, correct? Correct. They do actually understand. Don't let any of them make you think they are this stupid. They get it. They just need a way to bash us and like any general NVM will do, they will make shit up if they have to because women having any control over their ow…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 01:14 AM
25

I have deleted and I have SO much more free time! It doesn't negatively affect my life at all. There have only been positive repercussions, truly. I used to worry about missing contact from "friends" but then I figured uh.... They can just call me? Deleting social media makes it easy to weed out weirdos and bad friends. Good friends will call you. It really simplifies and uncomplicates your life! 1,000% recommend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 01:29 AM
44

Agreed! I used to comment on here that OLD is a trainwreck and should be deleted and even FDSers were like, "But where will I ever meet a mannnnn?!" They are literally everywhere and OLD is a game that is totally rigged against us. I remember in one of the first podcasts the FDS ladies were like, "You could throw a rock out of your window at any given time and probably hit a man." Again, they are unfortunately everywhere 🤣. It's scarcity mindset to think we need OLD to meet any and yet another g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 06:45 PM
7

Exactly. 🤣 I was like, "But I'm telling you that he just did that." I wasn't telling them to offer my "perspective" (ie. the truth) to be up for debate. I was telling them to clear the air. Doesn't matter. People always make excuses for men acting their worst. Can't even imagine what they would have said if I told them Dave got physically pushy when I was saying "No, I dont want to sleep with you" and I was worried it was going to escalate to full on rape. "But Dave is such a good guy. He wouldn…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 04:59 PM
7

Yeah exactly. Notice how she is "grateful" for him telling her. That's how hiding in plain sight gets us and it makes us feel guilty for getting mad. Honesty is bare minimum and he doesn't deserve to slide out of this because he was honest that he was with her. That's expected. This is why it's a hard boundary of mine that they don't really have close female friends or they disappear and are blocked when we are dating. A good guy will naturally get rid of these lingering girls when he really lik…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 04:49 PM
24

Is this in DMs or something that they are contacting you? You don't even have to respond. Just block them. All it will do is give them the idea to tell the next girls they try this bullshit with that they are in therapy to try to appear healthy and like they are working on themselves. You can also just turn DMs off so it doesn't even waste your time. Reddit is an apocalyptic wasteland, really.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 06:52 AM
16

All of my long term close male friends tried to sleep with me once I became single. One got physically pushy about it and wasn't hearing "No" while I was telling him I had just left an abusive relationship. These are close friends I had for 13 years, but I was in a long term relationship for most of that time. Once I became single, their true colors showed. I have blocked and deleted them all. I used to get so disappointed but honestly it has happened so much, that it doesn't even bother me anym…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 06:46 AM
8

It really is the best feeling ever. I have been to hell and back with this and with triangulation in general. Never again ✌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 06:26 AM
23

What he's doing is called "Hiding in plain sight." It's meant to make us feel more comfortable with the situation, crazy for pointing out that it's inappropriate since he is "honest," etc. But there are quite a few details missing from his "honesty" like including that he's fucking her or is about to. "What should I doooo?" Uh. Gtfo of this and fast.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 06:18 AM
17

Agreed. It doesn't matter if we are raped by a random because then it becomes "Well what was she wearing? How was she acting?" If you look around you and keep your eyes peeled, women are ALWAYS blamed no matter what the fuck happens to us or who we date or do not date. It is always our fault somehow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 06:09 AM
35

Jasons and Jeffs. 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 06:05 AM
96

Don't use OLD. The game isn't rigged in our favor. It's mainly rigged to help men spin plates.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 06:04 AM
14

I've learned this firsthand. These guys are actually addicted to being angry, manipulative, and eventually physically harmful. In turn, they also groom their partner to become addicted to the abuse, so it becomes the perfect dance. They feel euphoric when they hurt us, and eventually we feel euphoric when they hurt us as well. This can be emotionally, mentally, or physically - it really doesn't matter which one. They are all severely damaging. This is why we run at the first sign of manipulation…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 04:52 AM
18

Gamer dudes are gross and slobby.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 11:55 PM
13

The "husband" cheated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 12:35 AM
5

He also had a full floor of a skyscraper in NYC turned into a freezer for just his fur coats. "Imagine no possessions" is bullshit. Also, all musicians are about this shitty. I'm not surprised at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/21 07:35 AM
9

In terms of calling out boundary violation in a relationship... I was just talking to a neighbor who used to be a police officer. He talked about getting calls for DV and how it was really difficult to talk the women into leaving. We all know the reasons for this stuff. He even mentioned that it takes a woman an average of 7 or 8 times before she leaves. Bingo. He's right. He also mentioned how psychologists would come in to do training with them on these things. I think he thought he was giving…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 05:23 AM
34

I've heard too many women pop off about what a great guy the man they slept with within 3 weeks is because he doesn't watch porn. Puh...leeeease.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 04:51 AM
2

Are these men gay or what is up? I always sort of suspected with the ones who acted like this. 👀 It really does seem homoerotic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 06:23 AM
13

I love this and have dealt with similar scenarios so many times. Only toxic assholes skew the truth and create alternate realities about what happened or is happening. I don't lie either and I expect the same from friends or any man I am dating, so when people hint that my side could be "untrue" it makes me pretty furious. I usually drop those people fast. I last did this with a huge group of college friends. Man in the group lied to me to sleep with me. When I told others in our friends' group …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 05:30 AM
12

I love this. Women are always taught to bend over backwards to take full responsibility of the relationship which leads to an ongoing toxic plague in the relationship. In the end, it won't work out anyway and you will be fully depleted by that point. We have a responsibility to ourselves to listen to ourselves and not let a man or outsiders looking into the relationship call us nuts. Only we can see the true nature of the relationship. We owe it to ourselves to honor the truth (because society n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 05:23 AM
28

I can't help but be repulsed by it. I instantly lose interest. This is a really good point about what turn off it actually is to hear this early on. If you're strong in yourself (and you should be or you really shouldn't be dating) and searching for an equally strong mate, this should be extremely repulsive. Healthy people want to put their best foot forward. LVM love this tactic. I mean really think about it.... What man (men and their egos) would want to lead with a sob story to impress a woma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 05:15 AM
41

The most berserk ones know that you didn't cheat, but will make it up as an excuse to hurt you and claim that they had some "viable" reasoning for doing so. This is why you'll notice that even when you prove to him you were not at so and so's house, etc , he will STILL be angry at you and punishful with you. You'll know you're dealing with a special type of psycho when you prove them wrong and they still act like it happened anyway. Get ALL the way away from these men. Speaking from experience w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 10:42 PM
20

I was just talking to a good friend about this! YES. They don't realize those guys aren't even their true friends! 🤣 They will eventually though...after you've left him and his dipshit "bros" are all he has and he realizes he can't trust them in the end. I think it's funny. 😅😅😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 03:25 PM
23

I would probably say something like, "I'm looking for a man who is compatible with me" and keep it as vague as possible. If he keeps prying, I will keep giving vague answers. Q - What do you mean someone compatible with you? A - Someone who suits me well. Q - What suits you? A - So many different types of things. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I beg that saying you're observing him means he will work extra hard to be on best behavior before he lets his mask slip. It's too much info, honestly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 03:49 AM
90

Lived this! It was always his "Bros" before me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 03:43 AM
76

Men will share it and be in their allotted hotel room with another girl in their bed. He will FaceTime you with the girl ducking in a corner of the room. It's not enough to share location.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 03:42 AM
63

You're totally right about this and it's something I've learned over the years as well. Those work trips could be cheating. Those happy hours with colleagues that seem harmless usually turn dark if you stay past the actual HOUR. Colleagues have no problem covering for these types either and lying to the girlfriend or wife's face about things. Men will say "It's just work people!" But the truth is, there are plenty of scummy people who hold down jobs as well. I also like your mention of not getti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 03:40 AM
1

I truly would just step away from the friendship. I was actually thinking about this today. I've been led down some scary paths by pickme friends in the past, like ending up at guy's houses who were not the best humans after a night out because she was stuck on some LVM she just met, etc etc etc. They kind of seem to not really care about your safety or comfort because men always come first for them. They suck you dry you with story after story of LVM shit they put up with but generally aren't w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 06:10 AM
0

Dated a man once with a "travel" page. They weren't even his own shots of his world travels. He used the account to keep an eye on his exes and to keep all types of hoochies around.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 03:58 PM
83

Why the hell would we date someone who is broke and going through or putting us through a ton of bs? Are we a soup kitchen or a parish or the man's mother who dealt with his bs her whole life? Just go actually volunteer at a soup kitchen. You will get more out of that experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 07:49 AM
30

I moved states to step away from a whole state, scene, family, and friends who truly no longer serve me on any level. It's been exhilarating and so freeing and I truly believe the Universe favors the brave and those who seek personal growth like this. There is a great pool of men to choose from but I haven't done anything at all to meet any of them. I'm really just enjoying my time with myself, focusing on work, making my apartment cute, exploring the area with hiking, etc. Having moved a lot, I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 07:42 AM
70

3 am is the witching hour LMAO. Any dude keeping you up until this hour is bad news. Boundaries......on when the texting ends for the evening. I don't care how into him you are!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 12:11 AM
11

Agreed! It's entirely classless to make any mention of somebody's weight or eating habits at all. People understand this. They know it's rude, so it's safe to assume that mentioning these things is a sad attempt to knock us off balance. I just would never comment on someone's eating habits nor their weight. I don't even complement big weight losses. The most I will say is, "Wow, you look great!" Or like a coworker who worked really hard on Keto, I told her she looked like a Kardashian (she loves…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 07:38 PM
10

They want you to hate yours to sometimes under the disguise of “I’m saying this because I care” You bring up such a good point with this that can be used with any topics that are used to tear people down. People will do this under the guise of "care and concern" but it's such bullshit. It's just a more manipulative way to cut you down. These are special types of jerks who hide under the guise of "trying to help" while being low-key insulting. It makes it more difficult for you to react or say an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 07:34 PM
97

Ahhhhh. I can't even handle how good this is. And women are out here accepting not even getting a text back within a day. Boy better be showing up with flowers and never leave you hanging.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 08:38 AM
4

I want so badly to be a HVW, to grow physically and mentally, but the reality is my trauma and avoidant/ anxious attachment still looms over me. Honestly it sounds like you already are one. Not because of law school (but yes, this is a huge piece!) but because you are working on bettering yourself daily and you have a long term plan to stick with it. HVW are not perfect by any means, but they actively work at improvement every day. They solidify daily routines for improvement and they make long …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 07:20 AM
20

I think you should do it for the rad experience alone! But having moved countries escaping covert narcs and states too, it does not necessarily erase all of those tough things you're dealing with. In some ways, it can make things harder too. But I highly value travel and experiences abroad. At least this way you are gaining experience elsewhere, things are exciting, etc. But don't forget, moving abroad will be hard as shit on you at times and almost nobody talks about this, but look it up... com…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 02:58 AM
1

Good Q. This was me and the reason I chose men like this later on in life! What I've done is cut toxic family down to low or no contact and I stayed single for a long while and worked hard on boundaries, spotting manipulation/emotional abuse, spotting red flags, thinking hard about my deal breakers, focusing on work and finances,, and exercising via yoga or hiking. All of this has improved my life by leaps and bounds. But number one is to cut these types of people out of your life. There's no ho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 12:07 AM
9

Being around abuse like this really mentally messes us up, even without the long-term neurological effects. Abuse creates addiction pathways in our brains, not any different at all from what heroin addicts or cigarette smokers experience. So, in other words, abuse makes us chemically addicted to the abuse and to the abuser. This is why it's always like "How is this girls staying in this?" The victim becomes addicted to the abuser and the abuser is addicted to abusing. The abuser creates the perf…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 05:48 PM
6

I beg that the wife knew much sooner than this day that the dude is a waste of air.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 07:51 AM
5

The pics of them alone are not even 50/50. It's like 99.99999728181674838 / whatever calculation it comes to with this old ass scrote on the right. I don't even want to do the work to figure it out because he is truly and very clearly not even worth those 4 seconds. 🤣 He's lucky she even breathes air near him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 07:41 AM
154

Um...... These acts of violence will be turned towards you eventually. It's not a maybe. It's a "when?" You seriously need to gtfo of this. Let's say we are in lala land and he doesn't ever touch you. Your body is in such a constant state of high stress from these scenes or subconsciously wondering when they will happen again, that it's burning neurological pathways in your brain to accept abuse (yes, this is abuse). This constant state of stress is going to ruin your looks, your ability to make…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 07:21 AM
6

Lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 07:04 AM
14

Agh. Super sad. Esp. the kids part. There is no such thing as "casual dating" to benefit women on any level. In casual dating men only benefit and women only give it all away for free and drain themselves for small fry shit in return. If you could even count that small fry shit at all in comparison to what he gets. It's a dupe on women as usual. Also, this dude is really never going to marry her and if he does she will be so bitter by then that it won't matter. It will actually hurt her more tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 07:03 AM
50

Drinks are probably the sleaziest thing he could start with for a first date. Gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 06:49 AM
45

It's really true! Many men seem great or high value, especially initially. Financially stable, dresses well, takes care of himself, works out, does nice things for you, etc. These are all just pieces of the full pie. There is soooo much more that goes into it if you want a solid life partnership that is sustainable. Do your values align? Is he manipulative? (fun fact, if he is you probably won't see the truth for a long while). Is he trying to move too fast? Are things about him not adding up? I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 06:41 AM
20

This happened once to me. A guy I was very excited about (OLD 🤢) canceled like 30 minutes before our date. I stupidly did go out with him after he asked a second time, and he did not order food. I ate and he sat there like a fuckin' weirdo. Third date is a charm right (🤡) ? Of course not. Third date he takes me to a place where the waitress negs me for ordering fries (Wow, I'm loading up on carbs, blah blah). I don't get mad cuz I don't care lolol. I eat what I want when I want and I'm used to p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 05:27 AM
15

I cut them out of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 04:25 AM
2

🤣☠
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 09:04 AM
4

Pretty sure this is a type of "crazy making" too. He's trying to get under your skin and irritate you. Scrote's gotta go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 08:09 AM
12

This is so terrible. I'm really sorry you went through all of this! 💜 You're going to be okay... Keep reading up on red flags, deal breakers, and keep working to make your boundaries unbreakable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 07:59 AM
118

Uhm.... I thought it was pretty expected that marriage is a lifelong thing.... that's the goal, right? Please do not hand the man a trophy for simply following his word and ya know... Staying married to you after he asked you to marry him. Lololol. Something has to be wrong here for her to act like this is really something big. I'm gonna bet they don't last and that he constantly keeps her on edge for her to talk like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 07:49 AM
13

🏆🏅 🌟
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 12:33 AM
9

Brilliant! I can only imagine the cost! I would be afraid to know that number! I've been WFH off and on since 2015 with different jobs. The last position I landed is permanently WFH, and I realized I can really let myself go very quickly if I'm not careful about it. I pretty much did let all those things go from Sept. to now and honestly I felt like more of a dump truck than I am comfy with. I've been slowly working on my wardrobe and stuff lately and I personally feel a lot better from it but I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 07:46 PM
96

For that age, I would probably tell them we pay for tampons and bras and makeup (none of these items are cheap) and our haircuts are way more expensive. Also, purses! Men don't pay anywhere near the same as us to look decent and put together. Then tell them to think of that over a lifetime. How much more comes out of our pockets to upkeep just our periods and looks? Meanwhile men get 10 dollar haircuts and buy 5 dollar underwear, and they don't have to do nearly as much fashion-wise to look okay…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 04:29 PM
5

I was going to say this... 🤣 They wish!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 08:00 AM
3

I just started Yoga with Adriene - Breath. I have done a couple of hers before and whew! They reshaped my entire soul!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 07:55 AM
7

I love all of this 💜 Babying my dog as usual and gearing up for a good hike with him tomorrow. Also got some new clothes and some much needed new makeup this weekend. Oh, and did plenty of skincare! Max relax!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 07:52 AM
87

They do something shitty to you, then say that something you did made them do it. If you are the type to be guilted easily or maybe still healing from past damage or a past abusive partner, this will work like a charm.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 06:51 AM
26

Brilliant. Taking mental notes. Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 06:48 AM
197

I did this once. The sex was soooo horrible that I made him drive me home two hours at 2am. He had rented a hotel room in a town a couple hours away. All the way around he was NVM but the bad sex sealed the deal. I was done. And don't forget ladies, you have ALL rights to back out of anything at any given time. That includes sex and relationships. It's your given right as a human being to be done whenever you decide you're done... Don't be afraid to use that right at any given time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 06:46 AM
49

Ohhhh this is such a good point. Don't ever ever let these "weaknesses" show at work. I mean they aren't weaknesses, but people will say they are and use them to trample you in the workplace or force you out. I didn't let anyone know at work at all when I was ending a relationship that had been 13 years long. I mean I was in hell, but I never told a soul because I knew what my coworkers or even managers would do with it. Later on at another job, a man I had slept with stalked me for like 9 month…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 07:12 PM
42

Yeah exactly and it hurts like hell every single time it happens so I've just decided that I'm just not going to give anyone the chance to invalidate me again, ever. I think the real key is just realizing that nobody needs to validate what happened to you. Only you do. There's so much power in realizing this and my life has been running a lot more smoothly since I've adopted this attitude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 06:54 PM
139

If I had any awards to give you for this post, I would. It's never, ever gone well for me to rehash a past situation with anyone and I really think the reason why is because in the end, women are always blamed. For so many reasons, our viewpoint is usually null and void. This blame and invalidation can come from other women too. Very very very rarely do women just outright believe what you tell them had happened. It just isn't worth it to even try and you are only setting yourself up to be inval…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 06:45 PM
33

Nothing like airing how much men don't give a shit about their own spouses on national television for "entertainment." These women might dump their ass, but the clips will remain out there for probably ever which I think makes me more mad than anything. "Here's men hurting women and women not being able to say much since we have put them on the spot live on camera." It's a very strong tell of how much women are expected to go with the flow and take jokes at their own expense. I mean seriously. L…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 07:10 AM
68

I like to call it "Outfreak the freaks." 🤣 This is MY circus. I'll be center ring if I need to be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 04:33 AM
5

Update us!!!!!!!!!! Fuccccccck this guy!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 08:37 PM
4

Multiple times? He earned that dump. You did the right thing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 08:34 PM
6

Yeah I always say give a NVM 10 seconds and he will steal the next ten years of your life. It's scary how quickly it happens. They need to be taken extremely seriously and this is why red flags are DEAL BREAKERS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 07:35 PM
22

texting is false intimacy This. Too many men use this manipulatively now. This is why we don't do long-winded texting with males, ladies! Don't shoot me, I'm just the messenger. And no, the guy you are texting incessantly right now is not the one exception to this rule. Don't even bother being "friends" with a male, because it is like this every.single.time. It might even take them a decade, but trust me, they will make a move on you and you'll realize they were just trying to sleep with you the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 05:38 PM
9

Bring a third party with you and good luck! I'm happy you're done! I wouldn't wish Narcs on anyone. It is hell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 08:06 PM
82

How'd you get such an accurate representation of my life with my ex?! Next step was going to be the last scene for me and I knew it in my bones. Also, this is why women don't run screaming immediately and it is not her fault. It's HIS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 07:35 PM
9

Edit: OH, I see your other comments about meaning that it's over. Yay! Almost had a heart attack on this one. I would maybe just do emails for the business side of things. You don't have to see him and courts find emails the most official use of proof (it is better than texting). Nah nah nah nopity nope nope nope. Discussion is over and it's too late. He lost you (the prize). You have moved out, broken it off, and it's now over. What you meant to say is, "This talk won't be happening ever becaus…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 07:28 PM
4

Women who have been in abusive cycles long enough do not see clearly at all and it takes a lot of time to level them out. Most we can do for her is keep pushing her to get out. Seeing clearly is going to take her quite a bit of time after being out and staying out and staying NC. It's a long process but nothing changes at all until she leaves so that's top priority. She will understand what her friend was doing a long time from now after she's a bit healed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 01:40 AM
3

Sneak out while he is gone and do not let him catch on to your plan. As soon as he leaves the house and you know you have time to get yourself out of there without him catching you, start packing your car. I am speaking from experience and dealt with similar. Before you even start the engine BLOCK HIM ON FUCKING EVERYTHING. Once you get on the road safely please call a real friend and tell them what's going on. I told someone for the first time ever as I was driving out of there and all they tol…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 01:29 AM
2

EW! I'm sorry! 🤢 That moment when you realize you're not dealing with just a typical jerk nor only a freaky psychopath, but also a full blown pedophile...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 01:00 AM
11

Imagine what men would do if ALL WOMEN just.....poof! disappeared off apps. They might have to go outside, brush their teeth, level up, and impress us and 😱 ask us out in broad daylight instead of getting easily laid by a few thumb strokes or manipulative texts. I'm sick of seeing it honestly. I'm sick of women thinking they need this to survive. Scarcity mindset....get out of it. Remember the days when we were told NOT to meet strangers from the internet? And somehow this has now become our mai…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 05:53 AM
28

99.9998%
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 11:57 PM
11

LOL. This whole comment is hilarious! 🤣 and accurate!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 10:47 AM
50

Yes I swear! I've really been paying attention and I am just astounded. It's every conversation. It's either negging, invalidation, gaslighting. Just pick one. It's never ever just a normal interaction. Even the old fart stocking the pre-made salads at the grocery store. "Wow. You seem you like you are on a mission. I don't want to get in your way." Fuckkkking stop talking to me. I am on a mission and yes pls get the fuck out of my way. Lolol. Jesus christ I hate even talking to them anymore. Wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 09:56 AM
5

It's amazing to me that all the little (and big) things I dealt with in my life with males or pickmes is always validated on this sub with women chiming in like, "Yeah, that happened to me too. I dealt with that too. I went through that too." Etc. Everybody in my damn life almost was making me feel insane. It's my fault I was abused. I let him. Etc etc etc. I look back and I see now that my most major life issues spawned from pickmes, or scrotes. No joke. And then you realize it is happening on …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 09:43 AM
17

😬 what the actual hell?! He got away with this?!!!! I found pics in my ex's phone while we were dating of a group of high school kids he had worked with for a summer. He was trying to be the cool manager and would take them bowling and stuff after work. One was just a group pic of them. The next pic was a zoomed in cropped pic of the girl in the group whom was under 18. He was 37. I have literally never been so shaken up in my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 09:32 AM
7

Jesus I'm sorry. My family had a similar response when I endured an abusive relationship and the dude clocked my face eventually. We are always fucking blamed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 09:24 AM
9

Yeah exactly. I think this is everything, really. The patriarchy and shit men work to erode our intuition because if we listened to it, men would honestly rarely get laid which is the whole end game really for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 09:11 AM
75

Damn. You are so right about this! Guess we can all stop wasting our time by spinning our wheels and wasting our breath now. Thank God because nothing good ever came out of me trying to talk to a man anyway lolol. I've been noticing my conversations with males lately after staying away from them for a long while. Here's what I found out. They are ALWAYS FUCKING INVALIDATING ME or trying to rework my reality somehow. Real examples from just the last two weeks: Me - I'm not sure which highway that…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 08:44 AM
7

Roberta the builder! 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 08:04 AM
11

Saving this post because I have been to the depths of hell with this type of triangulation. You're right about every single one of your bullet points but NVM will never, ever view it this way. I mean, they know they truth, but will continue to mess with your head regardless. When I get back into dating again (heaven help me) these are staunch rules for me because I will not deal with this for a second longer in my life. A man whom is genuinely interested in you will not do this. He will go out o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 08:02 AM
38

I once had a really bad ass older lady ask me who I was dating. I told her and she asked if he would soon be my husband. Pickme me responded with, "No, I don't think so. We are just enjoying what we have now." She was so confused. "Why would you date somebody you don't see as your soon to be husband?" I know women think we can just waste our own time and have "fun," but it isn't fun to be with someone who doesn't view you as his future wife. In fact, it's pretty terrible each and every time. Her…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 07:42 AM
8

I'll bet you my life savings the man has an anime girl pillow for a gf. Sis, you're gonna have to fight for this one!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 01:10 AM
95

Just a reminder that you don't have to be in panties and heels to dump them. You can look like hell and still take the trash out appropriately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 10:30 PM
13

Gosh, toxic traits I've acquired?! Too many to name! I left an abuser with the help of this sub. He probably would have killed me. Thanks to FDS, I get to live! So I guess just being alive is my toxic trait, ahaha. But poor said scrote now is alone (but he was never really alone because he had plenty of women in the background), but like he doesn't have me to parade around and appear "normal" to people now, can't get money easily from me anymore by threatening me (poor guy has to actually just w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 09:09 AM
76

❤❤❤ Whyyyyyy does America not care about this?! I had an ex who would throw away clothes that looked good on me, consistently hide my best hairbrush from me, steal my best jewelry, etc. This was all unspoken stuff and of course if I mentioned it, I was crazy. I once found good makeup of mine broken at the bottom of the trash can and bent in half. Sometimes this stuff is happening much more quietly and covertly but if you notice your things are being moved or disappearing, RUN. Took me too long t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 08:36 AM
4

Amen! OLD = dumpster diving Not to mention exposure to more freaks and dangerous men than we would usually get in a typical day (which is already just plenty). Every time I've mentioned it on FDS, pickmes freak tf out. They're like "Don't take away my precious!" High standards and strong boundaries, ladies. We don't have time for anything less.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 12:57 AM
15

Not all men, but my dad's friends growing up saying they wanted to marry me when I was very little (my dad actually told him he would shoot him). Not all men, but randoms at concerts groping me. Not all men, but my sister's husband's saying inappropriate things about me. Not all men, but randoms on crowded public transportation groping me. Not all men, but every single last one of my very "best" guy friends. Not all men, but every single man I've ever dated. Not all men, but every single last on…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 02:21 AM
11

Oh my god somebody give this woman the Nobel Peace Prize. I love her so damn much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 02:12 AM
16

Get your finances straight and think of what you want to be able to afford in 1 year, 2 years, 5 years, etc. Your age is a very crucial age to get those things right for yourself. Other than that, stay away from men. 🤣 Seriously, though. You ever see all those old women who live to be 100+ and when asked what their secret is they always say, "Stay away from men"? Learn to be out in the world alone and get to a point where you believe that you can trust your judgment. It will take work and gettin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 02:06 AM
6

Brilliant. Accurate. Saved!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 12:24 PM
5

YES. Ahhh. It feels so good to hear it from someone else. Especially the part where you said they're only happy engaging in that thing. It's like they can't find joy anywhere else. They will drag you through it too and even if you enjoy the hobby, it's obsessive with them. Don't get me wrong, I'm obsessed with wakeboarding, but I would still put my love first for a man over that. Men don't do it that way. They already have a #1 love and it's not you. 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 12:02 PM
5

Egggh. I'm not so sure it's about the type of hobby vs. a man who will always put this hobby before you. I used to see it as charming when a man was SO passionate about his hobby. I dated an avid snowboarder for a long time. Also a pilot obsessed with flight. Also a musician obsessed with drumming. IME you will be left alone on weekends, not taken care of, and put last for him to follow his passion. It can be very sexy at first, but you will generally always fall short on his priority list. I lo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 11:29 AM
1

Surfers 🥵
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 11:18 AM
9

I'm starting over at 35 and have moved states! I'm planning on joining some groups or classes for things I enjoy. ALL FEMALE hiking groups. Maybe some art classes. I'm staying completely away from men. Yet, even old scrotes from a decade prior have managed to contact me. The actual audacity. Just honestly, do whatever feels right. Hole up and rebuild for a while or get out and see some things that interest you. But whatever you do, stay away from men for a long while. You will soon start to see …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 11:14 AM
7

Absolutely I see what you are saying. It's just mind blowing really. I will say men no longer shock me. It's more like, "Wow. You took it that far, eh?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 06:01 AM
18

Lol WHAT?! ☠ Just when I think men couldn't get any worse! I truly think most are very homosexual.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 09:54 PM
60

No. They aren't. They are attracted to other men. Check out all of the homoerotic masculine sports and how they interact on the field, in the locker room. They literally make up games to be able to touch each other, sweat on eachother. Check out who men idolize and listen to and try to learn from. It's never a woman or women. But they supposedly like us? Want us? We sure about that? 🧐 Edit: The weirdest part is that they get everyone to cheer for them while they are playing said sport and they a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 06:04 PM
4

Yes! I really noticed how quiet Aus women are when men were essentially trampling all over them. It was really crazy to see such stunningly beautiful women take this so much from dead ass scrotes!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 03:29 AM
5

Lmao!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 05:44 PM
6

Right lolol. Don't be fooled by their exquisite looks. They're deeeeeeeply misogynistic. Like America in the 50s or something is what it reminded me of.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 04:41 PM
8

I lived there for a couple years. It's chauvinist as fuck, so this is really startling that they are doing this at all there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 04:40 PM
34

Awesome! I love to see it! The U.K. just made coercive control (intimidating your partner, etc.) land the perp jail time. Things are shifting a little bit!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 05:48 AM
8

Exactly. It's like we are just signing up for a game that is ultimately rigged to hurt us, meanwhile men can and do get away with their worst behaviors because they can just ghost, block, and pull the same shit on the next unsuspecting girl who doesn't see how bad this really is for us, YET. It's gross. Women really still think they are on there about to meet the love of their life, (although most have played for years and understand it's not happening that way) meanwhile men are exposed to thou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 08:15 AM
54

I'll never NOT snoop! I could have saved SIX years of my life. I repeat: SIX. Edit: Also, if you are actively dating sign up for monthly access to searching records (Instacheckmate worked well for me). I found out two guys I was flirting with the idea of dating had DV records. One was a felony and had been dropped to a misdemeanor. That guy also had a felony for selling a firearm to a minor. It's not enough to search county websites. Many times these guys move out of state to avoid the heat wher…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 03:44 AM
10

Can't wait to hear all the pickmes crawl out of the woodwork. "BuT IT'S HarD tO mEeT MeN duRiNG a PaNDeMiC."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 03:41 AM
2

Oh it gets worse. They weren't escorts, but he was a touring musician, locally and worldwide, so yes, at any given time he could end up around any of these girls and had probably met them as fans after a show at some point, so they were not just randos. The whole thing was a total dumpster fire and I have since thrown the whole man away 🤣.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 05:51 PM
41

I'm glad you got it figured out, but I really do beg that you don't rely on others to spot the red flags for you. As you can see, most people are pickmeisha as hell and it can and will land you in bad spots with men. And please remember that you are truly the only one in your life who is ever going to really be your sole protector. You need to take that job very seriously. I really suggest reading up on red flags, knowing them like the back of your hand, trusting your gut the very first time, bu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 08:10 AM
13

Yeah it's funny because since I took a break at dating and looked at all my relationships objectively, the ones who chased me always treated me better. The other ones, where I pursued them, treated me like dirt generally. Since I've noticed that, I've really vowed to absolutely never chase a guy again or even try to spark something with one. They can reach out to me, find me, ask me out, try to spend time with me, and essentially wow me. I'm literally not doing anything at all to "find a man." A…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 05:04 AM
26

Wow, I don't know how I never put this together but you're right.... When I'm dressed professionally for work men are definitely intimidated by it. I've always noticed that, but I didn't piece together they I get hit on way less when I'm wearing a blazer, etc. and way more when I'm dressed casually or even horribly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 04:01 AM
8

Right... cuz men (whether they're chiseled or not or in a tank top or tshirt) wouldn't even hang on to their own fucking spawn. LOL.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 08:46 AM
44

And jacking off to porn and IG "models!" Ayoooo 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 08:05 AM
87

The man who spoiled me the most pursued me and had to prove himself to me. I didn't necessarily go easy on him. My options were free and open and he knew that. I took care of myself and stuck to goals and didn't let him infringe on them. The power balance was just that he was a lot more into me to begin with than I was in him, so it was natural that he had to work a little harder to put any spark into me thinking seriously about him. This came with lots of gifts, lots of trips, and lots of slow …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 06:48 AM
31

The way you titled this has me totally dead. 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 06:35 AM
9

Do this and THEN dump him immediately 🤣 It's mostly not worth the time suck really, but at least you'd get to have a bit of fun watching him squirm before you dumped his ass. 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 03:22 AM
41

I keep dumping men over this This line is GOLD. 🤣 Seriously though. Let's all grow up. We know what men mean when they do this and so do the women on the receiving end of it. Won't catch me letting a dude embarass me like this again. They act like it means nothing, but they know better. My last ex used to say "Come on. IG models is what you're going to get mad at?" Like I was petty. I'd say, "Who is this?" And his response would be "Some chick of Instagram." I'm sorry but that is a nonsensical s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 03:20 AM
6

Yeah you're right! I forgot about his start and background with fighting. Great. So he's an angry, desensitized scrote with a mic hiding behind wokeness. What a piece of work. Can't believe what a large following he's garnered. I think that's what's most troubling to me. How many "bros" worship him. Edit: The few times I did catch a listen, he sounded like a bumbling idiot high school stoner to me. And I was like "This is what everyone thinks is so wonderful? What a crock." Seriously. I've heard…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 09:04 PM
11

LOL. Girrrrrrrl. Me too! Can't express that enough. I think another point to note though is that most Narcs or just general abusers eventually get exactly this bad. The Narc abuse cycles continue and each little piece of the cycle starts to get shorter and shorter. So he might start with anger issues or blow ups once a month or so or whatever, but eventually, TRULY, that becomes two or three massive blow ups a day with generally heightened violence becoming a part of it. This is how it happens. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 05:47 PM
7

Yes. Also used to flatten my car tires and drain my car battery and claimed it was the heat and was common where we lived. 🙄 He was such a gem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 04:24 PM
9

Interesting! I think what always turned me off the most about him is the crowd who follows him. One was a literal GRANDPA with a GRAND DAUGHTER (also a daughter) who moved in with a 26 year old for years and he won't marry her. "Wifey" and the daughter are the same age. He's pushing 50 and they're both diehard Rogan fans. I was like Rogan hassss to be fucked in the head. Lolol. I have some other examples of terrible people who worship him, but I've never really met a die hard fan that was anythi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 04:21 PM
40

Can someone tell me more about Joe Rogan's scroteness? I have had sooo many friends (even females) who have loved the guy but for some reason I always hated him. I think it was the general vomit-worthy "wokeness" he portrays but I feel like there is something more there that FDS ladies know about. I've never really listened to him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 05:55 AM
120

This sub helped me get out of a relationship with a Narc that I'm positive would have killed me. Either I would have self destructed from nerves and stress, or he actually would have hurt me (more than he had) ie. blocking me while I was driving in a blizzard on a mountain pass at 1 am and nobody else knew where I was, locking me out and making me sleep in my car in a dangerous neighborhood, eventually cold clocking my face (2 years into us dating) and then lying saying I had started it.. I beli…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 05:48 AM
30

Was just talking about this today. They are fearful of losing power, period. They also believe their money is what makes them powerful so they shame us with "Gold digging" but yo.... We make our own money now. 🤣 Most of them have nothing to offer outside of money (and not even that, usually) so they cling to it. Was also mentioning this in the form of alimony. Men always claim she "took him for all he's worth" and I'm like so...... she got properly compensated, is what you mean? It's all code fo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 06:11 AM
23

I mistakenly wandered over to the RP sub for the first time and the first thing I commented back to FDSers is "They're rapey." I only read two posts before my eyes started bleeding.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 06:06 AM
24

She might not want the high end ring, but this boy isn't even going to give her the low end one. Ever. She better start running now, not tomorrow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 10:06 PM
23

This article is EXCELLENT. Yes, it can absolutely happen to anyone! The details and odd intricacies of a partnership like this are explained very well here. Like when she mentions that he was buying her a dress she was looking at. It seems like such a nice gesture, but she notes how it was really just him starting to take over everything. Most of these guys do not start out as horrible heathens. They operate much more covertly than that and it is extremely hard to detect if you've never been thr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 10:36 AM
7

Wow. Great insight!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 05:30 AM
4

Awesome!!! Who is the writer behind this script? Anyone?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 05:29 AM
2

Look at how stressed she is. We really only look this stressed when there is a male involved somehow. 🤣 She's young and I hope she learns. 💟
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 09:19 PM
49

YES. I've been talking about this a lot lately. One guy actually told me once, "Men when will say anything to hurt women. Especially during a breakup." Another Queen move is not to internalize their complements, either. All the way around, YOU should be deciding what are your great qualities or features and even what might need to be worked on for you. This puts you back in the driver seat of deciding your own reality instead of letting others create a narrative for who you are. Like even at tim…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 02:25 PM
101

The walking thing you mentioned makes me sooooo annoyed. Forgot how much I hated that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 07:06 PM
156

This has been so much fun! The ones that are just dying for your attention get so fidgety and unnerved. 🥱🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 07:04 PM
13

AhhhaHAHAH.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 07:03 PM
3

I read a post on FDS in the past couple days that talked about the "freeze" we can do and the OP mentioned how it is a survival instinct and that without us realizing it, it is probably what kept us alive or most safe in those situations. Seeing it in that light really changed the way I view those situations now and stopped me from blaming myself. Really can't say it enough that the blame is not ours to take both in being abused and also in how we reacted to the abuse. If you look at my comment …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 05:36 PM
3

Yeah I know! The misogyny and tendency to blame women is soooooo deeply ingrained in our society that it makes it almost impossible for those of us who were actually abused to get ANY sort of validation, anywhere. People never want to hear it. It's a double whammy, because not only did we deal with unspeakable acts of hate or violence, but nobody even cares to believe it or hear it! I think at some point I just decided "F this whole scene" (meaning society or anyone who didn't believe me) and wo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 02:04 PM
2

Sometimes what's helped me when I'm flashbacking into a bad scenario I dealt with where I didn't stick up for myself or I "froze" (which I can tend to beat myself up over sometimes) is imagining that I didn't freeze but instead brought the house down with sticking up for myself. Like I'll imagine that when I was disrespected or lied to that I walked out of the house and out of the relationship forever. Or just whatever the scenario called for. Like when I was in another town on a trip with a boy…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 01:55 PM
7

I'd like to chime in and say that however you choose to be angry is the right way to be angry. There is nothing wrong with anger. Society and raunchy people will shove it back down your throat. But in all actuality, no emotions are BAD, including anger. Your anger is justified and it's okay to feel it and express it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 03:36 AM
12

I have stopped seeking validation from others about my horrible and sometimes downright scary experiences with men. They never got it. My own family didn't. Women didn't. I think you're realizing the full extent of how hard women are blamed, no matter what the man did. They just do not get it and it hurts for me to keep trying to make them see what is essentially THE TRUTH. I stay away from people who have invalidated me and I no longer share my experiences with anyone. What's helped me the most…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 03:34 AM
10

I've been asking this too, lately! If you think about it, men are almost NEVER held accountable for their worst actions. On the flipside, women are always blamed. Men get to walk around the earth without fear and without consequences. Society pretty much never holds them accountable for anything at all. So when you think about it that way, it's almost easy to see how they could end up narcissistic. They're narcissistic because they know they can get away with pretty much anything, even rape and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 04:08 PM
10

I like when they say it's an "echo chamber." Okay... of 150 THOUSAND women across the earth. I guess it really is an echo chamber when we intercontinentally have all the same complaints about men and live in distinctly different societies and countries with distinctly different upbringings. Hmmm... Wait a second... maybe the problem isn't us nor FDS itself? What's the common denominater here? 😒
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 06:45 AM
5

Wow, this post is GOLD and something I've been thinking about a lot lately. I just breathed a deep, soul sigh of relief reading this one. I often find myself beating myself up for consistently falling into "freeze" mode. In my younger years I was much more outspoken. The truth is though, I have since encountered more terrifying situations with men than when I was younger where I truly felt unsafe if I had put up a fight. You're absolutely right about this. Why didn't you just kick him in the bal…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 06:35 AM
10

🤣 right! New vetting strategy... "Do you find Adam Sandler funny?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 06:09 AM
3

I think you might want to find a therapist who is well versed in abusive relationships and what you describe in how you acted towards the end is likely reactive abuse after so much gaslighting, emotional abuse, etc. It's really common and normal. In fact, the whole game of manipulators and emotional abusers is to make their victim self-destruct like that. We end up reacting that way because they continuously refuse to meet our needs, gaslight us, toy with us, break our boundaries, and many times…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 01:19 AM
15

Sometimes we project our best qualities onto our mate (which they love since sometimes they don't have any great qualities) and we assume they are operating at the same moral integrity as us. Stonewalling is emotional abuse and very punishful and can have devastating effects on us. If he ignores you, runs away during important conversations... DUMP. HIM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 09:09 AM
32

*Don't need to. Why? Because they are never held accountable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 09:03 AM
3

What a simple and beautiful analogy. 💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 09:02 AM
215

He's not even that funny.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 08:54 AM
73

Right! And generally the consensus will be, "Well. You chose to do this?" She won't get any help even then unless she has a VERY keen and non-misogynistic judge.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 08:52 AM
39

But wait though. You shouldn't be entagled in any male's finances unless you are married. LOL. Even if you are married, you're not "matching" your husband whom you already have shared finances with. A vehicle is a shared expense in marriage. Those surprise gifts even when you see them happen in marriage are financially a burden on the entire household. This is pure circus material.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 08:51 AM
3

Yup. Absolutely zero excuses or empathy for any manipulative, abusive man. This trap is a tough one to escape as women are raised to care about this kind of shit and be "nurturing" to yes, even assholes. It's deeply ingrained so I do not blame women for falling into it. I still blame the man instead for being abusive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 06:55 PM
4

I saw this article this morning and I think the subcaption said "How to Demand Closure" and at that point I decided not to read it. Why into actual f would I waste my time trying to demand anything from a man who already tossed me? I truly have better things to do than try to "necromance" a LVM. HAHA. I've been ghosted and even at my height of pickme issues, I never grabbed back at these ones. Even my old, pathetic self had too much pride to fall for "demanding closure" or whatever. They all eve…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 04:29 PM
1

You make a good point! A bad childhood is no excuse at all. Some men are just abusive types. Maybe they weren't abused in childhood but they had to figure out how to manipulate people to get what they need, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 07:58 AM
5

Abuse from males is literally RAMPANT and always has been. Don't blame your mama for still having some sympathy or whatever for him. Abused women tend to feel this way as a result of trauma bonding. It's not her fault. It's his.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 07:55 AM
26

It's always put men up in arms to treat me better when they realized I've dated actual self made millionaires, trust fund kids, or guys who took me to numerous countries. You don't have to outright lie, but act mysterious about your past if you have to and be as cold as you can be when they start throwing out bs. You're being tested on what you will tolerate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 04:13 AM
172

Existing. Breathing. Having a thought. Expressing a concern. Expressing an opinion. Cracking a joke. Smiling. Finding joy in your day to day life. Cracking cycles of trauma that inflict your family (jelly, much?). Not looking at them. Looking at them and not caring that you saw them. Wandering. Traveling. Walking around (actually got negged for 'walking a lot' the other day in a tourist spot). Not wanting them to pet your dog. Not enjoying their creepy stare downs. Living. Living well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 04:05 AM
37

I agree that ladies can really use this as a reason to stay. I'm not blaming them. I know it's extremely hard to pick up and leave, but this is not a valid excuse or something to hide behind to avoid the fear of the unknown, being alone, or fearing the result of fending for yourself and your children. I had a sister who went through, I shit you not, a 12 year ongoing "divorce." Her excuse was "the kids." Because we give tough love here, I'm really glad you posted this. I'm always afraid to say, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 12:14 AM
31

Yep! These types of guys are strategic in making sure you don't outshine them. Heaven forbid you start to... that's when they'll pull out their mental Excel sheet to remind you who's boss.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 02:14 AM
135

Men are ALWAYS keeping score and keeping tally because relationships are mostly transactional and not emotional to them. Get those Excel sheets out ladies because trust me, he's already doing that in his mind with you. ie., I pay for this house. What do you pay for? You talked to a guy once so I cheated on you. Your fault. I have paid for all these dates and you haven't. My career is taking off and yours is stagnant. What do you contribute? So what if you raised our kids? I pay for everything! D…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 11:32 PM
4

Yeah that's a good and tough question that I struggle with having a good answer for. On one hand, absolutely yes. I feel like anyone with a bit of fame should take these things into account. But I could wish in one hand and shit in the other.. 🤣 On the other hand, why am I expecting that? Did they sign up to be our martyrs this way? Not necessarily. As much as I wish they would treat it as important to take some responsibility, some just don't. They're just artists. Not feminist torch holders. I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 08:21 PM
67

I think you bring up a really strong point that women are often groomed by the music industry in the same ways porn finds them young to groom them as well. Hollywood is the same. It literally operates NO differently. It's too hard to tell if this is a choice of her own or not. You'll never get the truth. The industry is shrouded in downright lies, crafting a persona, crafting a presence, etc. And guess who the music industry is run by? Ding ding ding! MEN. So whether this was societal pressure t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 06:14 PM
2

Yep! It's creep stuff for sure. And all the bros thought it was so cool. 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 03:42 AM
84

Funny I did the same recently and the first thing I did was take a nice bath. 😂 You're going to love the journey. 💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 03:03 AM
67

I agree with this and it's bugged me for YEARS. I think for me I started noticing this overt sexuality wave with Sex and the City getting big. Those women made men the center of their universe and I just think it started a whole unhealthy wave of bs for girls. It's hard to hate the females who go overtly sexual in stage presence and lyrics. Males run the music industry and their hypersexuality is always idealized. Any woman who ever even made it far enough to display overtly sexual lyrics or per…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 06:12 PM
7

Oo yep. Good point. Like when men call the house they share with their family "[my] house."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 05:37 PM
91

Been together for eight but married for two. 🤢 He's always treated this relationship like a secondhand fuckbuddy situation. You can tell by how long he waited to marry her. This doesn't shock me at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 01:29 PM
43

Good for you because if you had stayed with him that would have been your future when you had children! Men tell on themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 04:26 AM
235

My entire jaw is on the floor after reading this. It's like it just gets worse and worse until it is an entire industrial-sized dumpster burning in a gross alley. Where was his money supposed to be going if not to his family? He's resentful every penny went to them and she "contributed nothing" so where does he think a married man's money should be going then? You know he's exceptionally wrong when his bronies don't even agree with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 04:20 AM
6

Drop the long-winded texting with a male, ladies! This is WHY we don't do that. All they're doing is studying what you have to say so that when you meet they can slip that mask on real tight.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 12:37 AM
13

Also, my dad is the same. I'm going low/no contact with him and the rest of my family and I had a convo with him yesterday after not talking to him for months really and it was harrowing to say the least. The conversation eventually devolved into a lecture about how I do this or that wrong. I'm 35 and realized I was getting lectured by a psychopath for 20 minutes when I was just calling to wish him a Happy Birthday. I am certainly making the right choice in removing myself. Get all the way out o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 05:08 PM
15

I think parents like this should just start saying something more along the lines of.... "If you want to bag a man, just try not to fucking exist. Erase yourself completely." I mean... Isn't that essentially what they are telling us? 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 05:03 PM
3

Ding ding ding ding. Nail on the head with covert abusers and men who coercively control their victims.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 08:26 AM
30

Good for you! I teared up reading this because I have done the same and I know how much of a "thing" it really can be to do this. Good. For. You. Also, I love FDS ladies for holding me accountable. Got a friendly reminder today that responding to a scrote at all from a DECADE ago in my life who recently popped back up, just wasn't it. By the end of the day today, I was like yep. She's right. Doesn't matter that he was a good friend at one point. Doesn't matter he was involved in a near fatal acc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 07:22 AM
18

Maybe it can eventually be taught in schools!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 03:14 AM
3

After catching a past long term partner cheating or possibly cheating, we went to "therapy" and one of the first things the therapist said was that I was acting emotional since women are the emotional sex and my then bf was acting logically since men are the logical sex. Granted this was in Aus, farrr more chauvinistic than U.S. but still. I had moved to the other side of the earth with him, gave up my career, we had a marriage pending, and that's how he did me in the end. But yes, me crying abo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 06:01 AM
5

I was just saying the same exact things in the FDS chat today! It isn't US! Nuts to be alone for a year working on myself and finally have this dawn on me SO hard today. Almost all of my major life issues with interpersonal relationship spawns from NVM or a pickme extreme. I feel duped to the high heavens but relieved at the same time. And I think it's a major tactic of the patriarchy or misogynists to make sure that they pit women against each other so that we do not have the discussions that F…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 05:53 AM
43

Most men catcalling are about as gross or horrifying as the ones she brought with her. This is how it really feels, fellas. Soak it up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 05:23 AM
9

I almost hate when anyone uses this phrase but, yes, especially men. It's a cheap cop out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 05:18 AM
3

His audience, generally LVMs, don't understand that the humor might be satirical in Tenacious D. It's really hard to prove people's intentions. Regardless, it was still damaging for the way males thought it was appropriate to talk to or about females during the time that they were big and it only gave them back up to be able to speak in a raunchy manner about us. I really never thought the dude was that funny and I love stand up comedy and comical movies. He seems desperate for attention to me a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 09:28 PM
3

Chiweenie! I got him by accident really. I was watching him and his old man owner passed away! The family said I could have him if I wanted him. He's been the best dog! Cuddly and adventurous. It's definitely helped me a lot to have him! I think it plays a big part in why I don't feel lonely at all after cutting so many people away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 06:12 PM
3

I had friends who were obsessed with him and his band, Tenacious D, when they were big for a while. The lyrics towards women are vile and the way he acted on stage to further that was nasty. Guys followed suit since they looked up to him. School of Rock or any movie is a pre-planned script really and doesn't say anything about the actor. I'm sure that kids thought he was great since he utilizes really outlandish humor to gain attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 06:08 PM
11

I'm not talking about his looks. I'm talking about his personality. Tenacious D and the song list and lyrics towards women. That band was big and any music loving guys followed him closely at the time they were famous. He was gross towards women. Had a bunch of guys in college who thought being nasty and vile about women was cool because of this but really his lyrics were just gross and put under the guise of "funny." Since he made it funny, it must be okay, right? He's a tool.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 06:04 PM
28

I think you're pretty dead on. The only other video I have seen of her, she bet something ridiculous with a Lil peep lookalike in a McDonald's drive thru line and if she lost, he got to do anal with her. Somebody else had chimed in and mentioned that she had been beaten pretty badly ( I think ) in a previous relationship. So a man beat her that badly, yet she can't stop screaming for the safety of men to matter. I really just think she is severely traumatized, so it's hard for me to hate her. Sh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 08:28 AM
17

Even bad attention is good attention to these types of fucking idiots. Make no mistake, she is gloating that she has been reposted here because how much more clout does that give her?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 08:21 AM
28

Damn. That was the most honest to goodness truth I've heard in months. She's kind of just low-hanging fruit. She will understand later and it will be a tough pill to swallow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 08:17 AM
65

Ol' sharpie neck strikes again! I wish I could take credit for calling her that, but someone else on FDS said it first. Let's stop giving her views. She's making money off of us. She's honestly just another scrote that doesn't deserve a repost. Edit: Also, her backstory includes some heavy abuse. I think she might be super steeped in denial and unable to cope, honestly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 08:08 AM
1

Also, read this https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/mx8fwi/any_other_shattered_women_finding_fds_late_in_life/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 06:23 AM
4

Yeah, ditto. I almost asked if you were me. 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 06:20 AM
84

THIS is Jack Black's mother??????????! Wow. Why is JB such a total scrote then? If this doesn't signify the VAST superiority of women, then I don't know what does.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 06:15 AM
23

Yes I've hit that too! Here's the kicker though, it gets so so so much better. There is an initial crack and then you start to rebuild, enjoy yourself and your life, and trust yourself. Something innate in me kept me protected on big things from them. For example, more than one wanted me to quit my job and just live the trophy wife life. I could have, but I did not. I worked when I didn't have to. One that I had relocated to another country with for his career wanted this, and I volunteered sinc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 06:01 AM
41

Oh they are ALL mad. 🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 05:34 AM
79

This is extremely interesting and vomit-worthy. I had been in a couple stints in life where I liked violent sex. I look back now and fully understand I wasn't mentally doing well at the time. But what this post makes me think about, is the men that I participated in rougher sex with, seemed to hate my guts and we were dating. They never say it outright but there is just an underbelly vibe. They seemed in awe of me but with an undercurrent of disdain and hate. It's really confusing for the girl t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 05:30 AM
10

Oh my gosh homiesexual! 🤣 I wish I knew this term about 5 years ago with a dude who literally kissed his male friends' asses. I often wondered if he was gay or bi or something. Still kinda do. But I think you're all right. It's more just that they only respect other men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 06:07 PM
15

I went through something similar. Had been with the guy since 17 and I left at 29. I found out he had been trying to meet up with a mutual friend's little sis. When we got together, he was my older brother's best friend. See the pattern? 🤢 I entered the dating world at 30 completely naive as well and made ALL the mistakes and eventually ended up with a Narc man who scared me totally straight. I needed to figure out how to protect myself. I'm mid 30s now and I think society dupes us also with bei…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 05:18 PM
17

I reeeeally like what you're talking about with being careful with the codependent labels. This is often the result of abuse! I also like how you're mentioning that society has normalized what is essentially N. Abuse. I started asking this question a few months ago: Are ALL men narcissistic? It's like once you understand what it is, you can't unsee it and you realize MOST men are operating this way. I'm not talking about some of the hypervigilance women can experience after abuse. This is differ…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 05:02 PM
194

That intense shattering and shame that comes with having your eyes opened really hurts. Society lied to us. Our men lied to us. They are most generally not protectors but instead a danger. We fell into it, etc. etc., etc. But the truth is that it is honestly not our fault. I'm not to blame for being from a full fledged family of crazies and pickmes or to have grown up in a society where I was conditioned to accept shit men as normal. It's not my fault. Women got duped. I got duped. That anger an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 07:42 AM
56

They just had to come up with something to combat "scrotation." 🤣 It's funny that we can cause this, but the truth is men have been "spinning plates" for fucking centuries. We have merely wisened up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 07:48 AM
7

No. What he thinks is "Damn. I've got my myself a live one now!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 02:13 AM
1

What in the actual pickmeisha hell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 02:11 AM
5

LOL! She's great 👍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 10:16 AM
3

I just found this after 3 years of hell with a mostly covert abuser. It is exactly what he did to me and it was the biggest sigh of relief I've ever felt to learn this term.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 12:34 PM
3

Brilliant! The big key here is to follow through and leave and not bend when he starts apologizing. Every time I tried to really stick up for myself that's when the lovebombing came. You have to really make up in your mind that when this behavior has shown up from him, that it's OVER. Women get sucked into thinking they will change, their apologies mean something, etc. The truth is that if you're dealing with someone this insidious, they are not EVER going to change. Let's say you make this big …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 12:26 PM
74

Right? I mean Adam was just another conveniently placed male ready to take Eve on a walk date in a garden and it looks like she probably just settled because he happened to be there and she was probably a smidge lonely and that's why humanity fell. So......It's men's fault. Duh. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 02:06 AM
11

Yes! Hi Hope! 7 is much stronger than one would initially think, but I really think causing confusion is one of the strongest ways these guys throw their victims and everyone else around them off balance to begin with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 01:15 AM
166

Maybe eating the fruit was metaphorical for getting with a male who wasn't worth shit and that's really what blew creation in half. Just letting my mind wander. 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 01:11 AM
15

Yeah totally. Makes me think of the very early stages with "My grandpa wasn't being rude to you" when the old drunk bastard told me I wasn't wearing any clothing (knee length and perfectly modest dress). "He's just old, doesn't get it." Etc etc. It's sooooo subtle at the start. This is why "Why didn't you just run if it was that bad?" doesn't stick. Because the gaslighting in the beginning doesn't appear to be "THAT" bad. An old man confused about what consistutes modest clothing in 2019 seems m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 11:19 PM
22

Yeah that's the whole damn thing. They aren't confused. They don't think you're wrong. They did it on purpose just to have the argument and just to tell you you suck/don't get it/didn't hear right blah blah.. They know they did it/said it but it will never leave their mouth. They are going to either argue with you to the point of crazy making or make you doubt what you know to be true eventually OR just wear you out so badly on the topic that you give up. None of these are good for you. I think …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 11:02 PM
24

YES. Any of that doubting they dish out to you is meant to make you eventually doubt yourself and if you stick around these bastards, you DO end up doubting yourself because unfortunately consistency prevails with these tactics. Meanwhile, they have created the perfect little pet to abuse who no longer believes what she knows she heard/saw. How can you walk through life safely if you are constantly doubting yourself? You can't, and that is the whole point. You are never, EVER safe around these t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 10:40 PM
60

Same. Well, the arguing itself is extremely unhealthy for us to keep participating in. That's how they get us. It seems so so so small to have a funny tiff over things like this but they don't end, is the problem. They get worse. Eventually, 2 years into us dating, he never admitted anything at all that he purposefully did to agitate me. This will still infuriate me if I think about it too long. And that's the whole gig. That infuriation you hit with them. I think it's important to note that oft…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 07:55 PM
8

On the opposite end of the spectrum, crazy eyes!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 07:41 AM
19

YIKES. And no. He's not happily married. The wife is dealing with not only that ex being a part of their relationship but probably others' of his as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 03:27 AM
27

Rose McGowan and Jenna Jameson for their open commentary on sexual harassment, rape, and pedophilia in Hollywood, the music industry, and the porn industry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 03:22 AM
1

This is serious and scary. This dude is fucking ballistic and should be treated as such. And I can tell you with absolute certainty that NO guy took me dumping him seriously the first, second, or third time (etc.) I explained that I meant it. Can we make this a felony already? We should only have to say it ONE time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 03:13 AM
95

One of my exes had ALL of his ex's nudes backed up on his phone. He told me he always destroyed this stuff after a breakup. HAH! Nope. He was carrying it all around like a trophy in his pocket everyday. Guys don't get rid of them from what I've seen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 07:02 PM
64

I had ONE guy threaten me with sending out the nudes I sent him ONE time years and years ago and I never sent nudes to anyone again. Not even long-term boyfriends. If they end up bitter, if you end up dumping them, if their mask slips and they aren't who you thought they are, they can ruin your life with this. It's never, ever worth the risk. You would also be surprised at how many young men will do this to a girl, too. I knew a sweet little girl who made the mistake of sending a nude out in 7th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 07:00 PM
55

Yes! If you offer yourself up to a man who is really not that into you, he will still waste your time and toy with you. This is why we vet men. They will play with us every time if we let them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 12:52 AM
5

Don't even bother being "friends" with an ex. It's always some bs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 12:50 AM
20

One of the last guys who had asked me out on a date did the same. Just couldn't stop talking about himself. Such a turn off. I blocked and deleted. Old pickme would have been all over that. 🤣 It's nice to see progress!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 12:48 AM
67

YES! Guilt and SHAME. They shame their victims into isolation and not being able to speak up for themselves. For a long time the victim really thinks that they should be shameful of all the havoc they are causing. It's impounded in their minds that it's all their fault. We either wake up eventually or we don't in realizing this game but it's very very very sneaky and insidious at the start. Very small things like saying, "I can't believe I would tell you something like that? I don't remember tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 12:40 AM
38

LOL. Same for one of my longest relationships. Dude found me at 17 and was in college. "Dated" for 13 years... until, you guessed it. I caught him sneaking around with a 20 year old behind my back. We were 30 at that point. Even further to gross us all out. I was his best friend's little sister when we started dating. The 20 year old I caught him with was our mutual best friend's little sis. 💀 Couldn't make this shit up if I tried!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 07:37 PM
8

Laughing my ass off!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 07:33 PM
6

What comes next after slugs? Person who warned her is an angel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 04:07 AM
2

Lord help us all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 04:46 AM
9

I've been thinking about this lately and it's just further solidified by this video. It's ALWAYS the woman's fault. Always. Always. Woman got involved with a Narcisstic creep because he love bombed her then changed like day to night and she's never had any experience with these types or knew how they operate? Her fault. She should have had some tribal, innate knowledge that was just a part of her bloodstream to be able to not pick a piece of shit. Woman gets raped? Her fault. What did she wear, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 04:43 AM
6

Ahhhaha. One of my favorite posts, maybe ever. Like we care what they prefer! Someone on here once called them telling you this "Announcing their boners" and it always stuck with me. 🤣 Women aren't allowed to have standards, boundaries, or types they are attracted to. Duh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 04:28 AM
2

Funny it's called " 'Alpha' male strategies." Real Alpha males don't have to go this low or even close to impress women. Beta. This dude is a beta.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 04:27 AM
11

This is why we don't play wifey or move in before papers are signed and ALL ducks are in a row for your security and safety. Seriously. You forget or leave one small duckling out of the row, and a man will find a way to fuck your entire life up with it. There is no such thing as "too careful."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 07:04 AM
6

Or sometimes you just exist and don't notice them and don't flirt and they do this too. 🤣 Ridiculous
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 06:53 AM
11

Totally! They try to subtly flip how your mind is viewing them or the situation or yourself. It's extremely subtle but it can work like a charm if you don't know what to look for. I also think a lot of how these guys get so far is if the women simply doesn't understand vile manipulation like this or red flags. I feel confidence and knowing yourself is half the battle and really understanding red flags is the other. Women shouldn't date unless they have these both on lockdown with themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 06:48 AM
17

Also. This is why we don't meet up with exes, etc. after it's over. They are coming with nothing but manipulation. If the girl isn't in a good place, it can work like a charm.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 06:46 AM
14

He was trying to make you feel messed up in your next relationships. I'm glad you're smarter than that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 06:45 AM
10

All of these guys have been more into me than I was with them and my belief is they realized this and couldn’t deal with it. Absolutely! Honestly I think some of the most manipulative men I've ever been with were manipulating me because A. I was better than them by a long shot B. I wasn't that into them and got plenty of attention from other guys C. They had to trick me into even liking them because them in their natural state never would have done it for me. Really good post!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 06:44 AM
20

This book changed the whole game for me after encountering a few freaks of nature. You're going to love it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 07:33 AM
3

YES.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 07:30 AM
25

Fantastic post! I love that Eliza chooses Freddy. I'll love that forever. When the play was sold to screenwriters, George Bernard Shaw had a heart attack because Eliza and Higgins end up together in "My Fair Lady" which is a huge fuck no! Shaw was pissed. I'm pissed for him; since in the play, she chose someone who simply treated her better and that was a very big statement during this time period, especially.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 07:30 AM
16

What they're trying to say is pussy is still and always will be on pedestal. Not sorry for saying that. They are jealous of this and I truly believe it's the root of most of their evil. When a woman knows herself, knows her boundaries, has confidence, and has built herself up.... they know they don't stand a chance against us and that it's easy to outshine them. This is why they have to constantly undermine us, harm us, and trick us into dating or sleeping with them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 08:16 AM
54

The whole earth would be full of noseless men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 08:11 AM
1

Oh I see 🤣 I was like, girl, run! I'm glad you're out of that! The hoovers are a whole other thing. So entitled to think we would even want to speak to them. Ignore hoovers! They are always just a game like you described.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 04:07 PM
7

No. And 99.9999789 girls will not meet a HVM on dating apps. The odds are not in our favor and the game is rigged to hurt us. So what do we do about this? Not play.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 07:29 AM
22

This is PRESICELY why you do not move in with a man unless you are married. Period.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 07:24 AM
9

You probably need to just leave him if he's trying to gaslight you like this. It's going to get worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 07:19 AM
13

And sometimes, depending on the crime, changed behavior isn't enough either. Sometimes the man just dun fucked up too badly. We aren't here to waste our time with chance after chance or swallowing the trauma they can cause.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 07:17 AM
25

"You are angry and hateful and can't move past anything." "You just like to cause fights and don't know how to have peace in your life." "You're nasty and angry." "You just want to live a drama filled life." "I already have apologized. You just can't accept it because you want turmoil."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 07:12 AM
3

Yeah I can understand. I've been there too! Those are bad friends! Abusers like this can really hide themselves well from other people. Well, that's part of their game actually. It's calculated that they make sure other people don't see it. It's only the victim that understands and the isolation there can really mess with us too and make us feel crazy. The invalidation from our "friends" and loved ones furthers the extent of the abuse. The guy that was the absolute worst to me who sounds eerily …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 07:02 AM
6

This!!! I was once told by a NVM that "women flock to him when he has a 'fly chick' on [his] arm and he would be lying if he didn't play that to his advantage often." Remember this. Anybody doing this is gaining attention for the wrong reasons.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 02:52 AM
14

This behavior actually hits so many major red flags. Sadism. Wanting to upset someone or cause them pain. He was trying to irritate you with the English stuff. After a lot of this, it can have huge effects on the victim that aren't to be taken lightly. Manupulation and gaslighting. Saying one thing but doing another. In this case "being sweet and apologizing" but still trying to irritate you. It's a double bind that makes you feel like you can't speak up about the English stuff since he is appea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 06:42 PM
37

Ah. Men are intercontinentally trash! My ex could have written this. His apologies would also be mixed with things I asked him not to do. It's really subtle and not outright so do not blame yourself. These types are very skilled. I'm glad you're out of that. ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 04:22 PM
18

YES. Actually, this was calculated behavior by him. He actually knew how much it messed up your week. With my ex, he did the same things. Would keep me up until 3 am consistently. I became drained, emotionally messed up from it, embarrassed that I couldn't keep myself together. I was so fucking bored with his couch potatoe ass and so exhausted that I could hardly function. My job is hard. I needed rest. I begged and pleaded with him for oh, I dunno. 2+ YEARS to stop this behavior. Took me far to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 09:05 PM
8

My ex used to flatten my tires when I needed to be somewhere important. Took me far too long to piece together that it was him and not just weird coincidences. I suspected, but it's hard to believe someone is that crazy. But guys like this are EXACTLY that crazy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 08:54 PM
7

I second this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 08:53 PM
15

"Male feminists" are some of the worst men I've met. They might not claim "feminist" but they will say things like they love strong women blah blah. IME it turns out they just are rabid dogs and realize that playing this card might get them laid more often.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 08:43 AM
2

Oh my gosh I dated a musician who did the same. 🤣 Those artsy types of men spread their work like wildfire to ladies everywhere. Seriously, its a thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 04:41 AM
13

Men CONSISTENTLY pet my dog after I tell them not to. Almost every time I've told them not to, they do it. Women NEVER have tried to pet him. Only TWO in the span of a whole year and they asked me first. Guess what they do instead? Leave us the fuck alone. It got so bad that I stopped going to the park at 5pm because I couldn't deal with another man not understanding NO. I learned a whole lot about what men are really thinking by how they treat my dog. What is that exactly? They will touch anyth…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 12:55 AM
5

Rape by manipulation or rape by mental torture really.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 01:15 AM
5

What!!! I love this lady!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 12:59 AM
2

This guy is such a fucking TRAINWRECK. I'm so glad you dropped him! YES!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 12:55 AM
29

I have had a guy who was cheating on me write my name in the sand. Lolol. When I finally went through his phone, I saw lots of girls' names written in the sand and the pics were saved. It was something he did for all of us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 12:51 AM
3

What the actual hell. I'm so sorry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 07:40 AM
3

YES. Dumped a NVM just before the pandemic hit. Always grateful for the fact that I didn't get stuck with him during that time and I feel for ladies who were stuck during pandemic. It's really been a soul cleansing experience. I landed my dream job during this time. I figured out why I kept choosing NVMs. I got a dog. I literally cut every toxic person in my life away from me. Won't lie, the pandemic is hard because I like to be social, but wow it really changed the game for me to just focus on …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 06:58 PM
21

Came here to say exactly this 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 06:50 PM
2

That's a good test to pull on a guy while you're vetting him. Taking notes. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 06:09 AM
1

One of my very good "male friends" got too drunk the last time I saw him and was so frustrated I was talking to another guy that he started clenching his fists. Shortly after that when we were alone, he wouldn't let me leave the room and slammed the door every time I tried to open it to leave. I absolutely freaked out about this and went into instant panic mode. Both instances are Domestic Violence but the truth is I had warning with the clench fists. Look. Never is it ever ever going to be okay…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 06:08 AM
2

❤️❤️❤️ Never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 02:38 AM
31

🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 06:27 PM
3

This girl's facial expressions resonate with my entire soul.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 08:27 AM
2

DUDE, YOU HEARD ME THE FIRST TIME! Can't wait to use this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 08:24 AM
5

So painfully true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 08:22 AM
8

Add in "Will probably screw you over and then gaslight you about it."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 08:21 AM
43

Laughed my entire ass off. 😂 Shot dude is irrelevant!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 08:20 AM
15

"Never understand." Right. Cuz nobody wants to exploit you like we've had to deal with our whole lives, so nah. You won't ever understand. Just step back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 08:12 AM
60

Ahahah. This is any guy's face when you do 1/75th to him of what he's done to you. Are they really that disconnected?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 08:06 AM
44

Oh no 😬. Don't do that. He looks generally horrified!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 04:44 AM
1

Every damn time! Could have used FDS my whole life! Would have saved me a lot of hardship. But hey... Your journey is your journey. Do not fret. You've arrived now!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 06:25 AM
5

Art circles treat women in some of the worst ways I've ever seen in real time. They run the madonna/whore complex hardcore. They're either "muses" or they are "sluts" not to be trusted. They never have a voice. They are only an image.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 06:16 AM
7

Welp. Looked it up, unfortunately. I do not understand what the problem is. Is this the new "thigh gap"?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 06:14 AM
6

Oh no. What are hip dips? Do I want to know?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 06:12 AM
7

🤣🤣🤣 Now I have to figure out how to detach my damn arm. Put it on the list of things I will never be able to live up to! Lmao!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 06:11 AM
44

Woah. I just felt some of my brain cells die off after reading that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 06:00 AM
31

So I dated a world touring musician who was a drummer for a very well-known blues rock n roll singer/guitarist and I can tell you with absolute certainty that definitely ALL male musicians cheat. I had a very in-depth look at the industry locally, state wide, nationally, and internationally and man is it dark... Everything from your local dive bar to the Hard Rock in Spain. It's all filth. I have also had married friends proposition me or they didn't care if I was taken at the time at all. Somet…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 07:33 AM
13

I've lived similar! Guys who helped me, took me all over the world, etc. and in the end they still were not worth it. Why are they so damn draining? I'm also in a similar spot with a good job, love to cook, studying for a master's. Have never been happier!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 03:43 AM
14

I'm doing similar at 34. I think I had been actively dating from 17-33. I've been single all year and I could care less how long my singledom lasts. I'm looking for NOBODY. A man could walk on water that he just turned into wine, hand me a bar of gold and a million dollars and I'd probably still turn him down at this point. They generally deplete your overall life status.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 03:41 AM
154

Even if it took some of my male friends over a decade, they ALL tried something with me eventually. This was a lot of men out of a large group of friends I made in college. Don't ever fall into thinking it will be different with any males.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 03:34 AM
15

The fact that he's openly mentioning "red flag" shows that he understand he has plenty of actual red flags. It's a hint. Take the warning at face value and block him, please.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 07:27 PM
18

Don't project your ideas of what you want him to be thinking onto him. This is honestly just creepy behavior and nothing more. The guy is not healthy. Be aware of that, please. Don't dream a scenario up. Take this at face value for what it is. Creep stuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 04:36 AM
2

Ohhhh. That explains a lot of the chat lately. 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 01:10 AM
2

Yo Cassie!! 😁 Yes, agreed. It's really hard to get women to see that when they are wrapped up in OLD. It really stems from desperation or severe scarcity mindset but getting them to face that is like pulling teeth. Pickme stuff. I try to open eyes but I'm always borderline violently opposed when I point these things out. It's really creepy how much women aren't willing to let it go and then continue to voice complaints over and over about it. That's because it's trash! Might get lucky, maybe, af…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 12:40 PM
2

Exactly. You hit the nail on the head. They do the same thing with Biden. Try to make them seem so "cool" and smooth talking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 11:02 PM
24

I keep trying to tell women on FDS that it's a playground for LVM/NVM bullshit but they don't want to believe it. No woman should feel that desperate! Covid is not a reason to fall into this. Scarcity mindset. Men are literally EVERYWHERE. Edit: Yes catfish, rotate, rape, block, create new profiles. Ridiculous we still buy into it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 09:47 AM
3

Serial killing is bad, mmmkay?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 09:27 AM
5

Nah. Take that broken man and place him in the dumpster with all the other trash pandas and then skip gleefully off into the beautiful horizon that is your new life without shady ass tricks posing as men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 09:26 AM
3

Low value 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 09:25 AM
13

He's a gaslighting master who actually did nothing during his time as president except keep us involved in war and get more immigrants deported than any president has ever hit. I remember a promise he made to pull troops out by November. The month came and went and nobody said a word. Ulterior motives and interests and honestly a disservice to ANY American citizen. He truly sucks. But the "woke" and "cool" cards get him far.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 09:23 AM
6

Why waste your time on OLD?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 09:18 AM
9

I think maybe even moreso it means, "Need woman willing to go along with my complete joke of a fucking life and joke treatment of her." Eyes open, ladies! "Need woman who must be willing to humor my shit choices in finances, adult decisions, and remaining faithful. I need a cool girl who laughs a lot." Anyone else feel personally victimized for having the ability to make anyone laugh, and men taking advantage of that in these ways? "Funny" girls are viewed as pushovers!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 09:18 AM
3

Way to call me out! Jk. I learned. 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 09:13 AM
46

I keep trying to tell ladies but I'm always vehemently opposed. Honestly, it's kind of creepy how much women champion for something that ultimately is rigged to hurt them. Men are even more murky on OLD.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 09:10 AM
20

Staged 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 09:09 AM
51

I was taught my whole life to have low boundaries in a family of Narcissists/sociopaths. They could get a lot out of me that way and it made it hard to outshine them, which is easy work honestly. FDS gave me the resolve to hold strong boundaries after being brainwashed to lower, weaken, or eradicate them completely. Women need lots of deals breakers and boundaries. Society and sometimes "loved ones" will take these from you, if you let them. Figure out what they mean for you and don't ever let t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 08:32 AM
2

People often feign "support" with no real back up. Real support is consistent and measurable. Gaslighting does a lot of damage. It seems so small but it works us over in a number of ways. Good on you for recognizing what's going on!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 08:29 AM
48

Girl! You're so great for speaking out against the culture that severely coddles these types of men. I've heard and read a lot about it. You're brave. What a heroine. ♥️♥️♥️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 10:03 AM
151

I've driven men to the clinic 😂 but even that was too much I realize now. But their faces when I stopped in the clinic parking lot and said, "Okay, I'll be here when you get out!" But truly, if they aren't taking care of their health, fuck 'em. That was far too pickmeisha of me, yet I thought I was being so valiant and avant garde. I also had a female friend during college who would make guys sleep on the couch if they could not provide papers. Probably one of the most HVW I've met in my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 08:50 AM
57

Shouldn't this be in the men's section and say "Elevate YOUR grooming game!"? Lazy asses.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 08:46 AM
155

50/50 is the dupe of the century, and this is just one of the many reasons why 😂. Don't do it. Women are the ones who have to put their careers aside when they birth and rear children, men are paid more (yes, even for the exact same types of work), and you pay more to look decent and upkeep yourself in order to fit into "polite society" than a man will ever pay. Tampons, bras, makeup, general healthcare... These are three researched-based reasons why 50/50 will fuck you, but the real list is muc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 08:43 AM
7

So shocked it didn't work out! 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 08:38 AM
10

I just bought a month of Instant Check Mate. I found out about 3 guys around me have domestic abuse charges, one had multiple third degree felonies for selling guns to minors. All of these charges for these men happened out of state. I don't think it's enough to search your local court's website. Many of these types move and have charges elsewhere. I'd love some surefire sites that maybe you don't have to pay for! But yeah, what I found about had me hurling. One guy lawyered up (I got the phone …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 07:18 AM
8

I'm celebrating for you from afar! ❇️❇️❇️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 06:54 AM
87

For 98% of my life I dressed and presented myself for the male gaze. It took a lot of work for me to realize that it essentially brought me nothing positive to think that way. In fact, it got me preyed upon. Looking decent and put together at work or to achieve things you need for YOUR survival and happiness is a different story. I learned these things almost never coincide with the male gaze. Dress and present yourself for YOUR idea of success. That's really all that matters. The rest is BS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 06:52 AM
20

I bet the students love her clothes! They are worth more than the man is. I hope she leaves him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 04:39 AM
24

Bring it up like you're just telling a story about your day. "Oh I had to walk near this block/bridge/whatever and I am always so creeped out. Getting randomly raped in this area really worries me." And then observe his reaction like a specimen in a petri dish.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 04:18 AM
13

🤣 I'm sure that just the air in his "pad" is toxic enough to send anyone into anaphylactic shock. He looks so destitute too. I love this picture.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 03:54 AM
24

Ask these questions earlier next time! Bring something like this up in conversation number one or two. You won't even end up at this type of scrote's house again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 03:48 AM
161

WAS HE TALLER THAN ME?! 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 03:45 AM
78

When it says "mold warning" are we talking about the scrote in the chair, or.....? Holy goodness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 01:34 AM
30

Honestly this is just a manipulation tactic so he seems to be a skilled manipulator and a little bit of a sadist too. Hope she sees the light.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 08:52 AM
12

What opportunity? A guy who always makes her second best? Yeah, wow. She's really missing the fuck out if she lets this one go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 08:50 AM
41

The guy posting this seems okay. He was in gangs growing up, turned his life around, and moved into helping kids who were in the same situations. Face tats or not, I do respect him. Edit: Btw he's a stand-up comedian. You can learn a lot about the type of work he does through watching his acts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 04:01 AM
34

Someone's daughter! My least favorite line from a male, maybe ever. She's a human. She's a fucking human being who deserves respect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 03:15 AM
19

Ohhhhnooooo. Hahahaha. Girl. 😂 No. Don't. Don't do that. Holy hell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 05:09 AM
14

Yeah exactly. It's such a tactic of theirs to seek women fresh out of a divorce or freshly broken up with somebody. It's sick. Won't ever be telling a male that type of info again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 03:02 AM
1

Honestly thought it was on the floor next to the trash can.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 12:56 AM
6

Can we get this on the damn ballot before 5 pm tomorrow?! Yeeeeeeeeeeeeesh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 12:51 AM
6

This is a mural?! 🤣😂🤣😂 YES!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 12:46 AM
87

Right? Why all the mental gymnastics?! 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 12:39 AM
24

What the actual fuck did I just read? Yes. Let's condemn them for having interests, hobbies, favorite shows. This is beyond cringe-worthy!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 12:39 AM
81

I have actually heard guys (yes, more than one) say to pick a woman fresh out of divorce as you can get them to do anything, etc. It's sick but I've heard directly from their mouths that this is what they do. I wouldn't doubt at all that the guy you're describing did this purposefully. 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 12:34 AM
2

Yes! I've been working on this for about a month. Frienemies, scrotes, weirdos, creeps, scallywags, losers, mopes, dopes, jokes. All of them are getting nixed. It feels great!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 09:10 AM
4

YES! Thank you for pointing out that the comparisons start with YOU on top and that soon changes... I've read about these types almost always using two girls against you simultaneously too. One you could never live up to and one that you always trump somehow. Of course, the lines get shifty. Bottom line if he says more than like one or two sentences about his ex during the whole relationship you need to run. If he compares you with any of them, no matter how subtle or flattering he makes it seem…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 07:58 AM
3

I started sleepwalking randomly with one of my exes around the time he started cheating on me (unbeknownst to me at the time). The blinds on the windows would be rustled up showing I was trying to get out of the situation via window in my damn sleep. Never sleep walked before nor after that. Go figure!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 07:53 AM
1

LMAO. Yes 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 04:31 AM
20

Yeah! Giving your body in the most intimate way possible to a man you hardly know is certainly NOT TOO MUCH to ask for! Why would it be when MEN VIEW YOUR BODY AS NOT WORTH TOO MUCH ANYWAY YET THEY CAN'T STAND TO NOT GET A PIECE OF IT. Pussy is still on a pedestal (and always will be) but they can't stand that. Go cry, scrote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 02:26 AM
6

This is maybe the best comment I've seen on Reddit EVER! We think it's so small. So minute to receive a text like this. Most women actually fall for this crap. Let's say even if he wasn't lying about his own name, the rest is still a nightmare as you so clearly spell out. Words are so powerful and they say so much and often with people and especially men...it's about reading between the lines. This is manipulation, plain and simple. Let's remove that he's lying about his name. It is still manipu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 02:16 AM
5

I actually got banned from that sub for mentioning my Narc's Narc family and my realization of the connection. I guess you can't mention family on there, yadda yadda. That sub saved my life though. With a mix of that sub and this sub I'm feeling better than I have maybe ever. Using both together is a life saver/game changer. Is it just me or are male Narcs rampant in dating? Or is it that pretty much all men are just naturally Narc? Actually the latter makes more sense. 🤣 When you rule society a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 02:04 AM
3

Yes. A whole other family.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 01:55 AM
2

Dying 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 01:55 AM
7

Oh for sure. You can feel the anger in his texts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 11:41 PM
169

I love that he equates knowing his name with swapping insurance policies. Paultrick! What are you hiding?! I'm sure the list is extremely long.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 05:55 AM
5

Yeah that's what I'm seeing too! 😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 04:00 AM
131

Why is this dude implanting ideas onto young girls on Reddit? Why does FDS simply existing make him feel insecure enough to make a post like this? Very telling. Try not to let your insecurities spill out all over the floor, guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 11:35 PM
9

Number 7 in your lessons list is so important. It's like we could never believe people could be that because WE are not that bad. I'm so sorry you went through of all of this. I understand fully the emotional blackmail and deeply ingrained threats in which abusers are able to get what they want. Mine made me cough up a lot of money to him, get rid of harmless friends, leave an art council board I was on that made him jealous. He blackmailed me with work saying he had something on me that I'm sti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 06:47 PM
1

Thank you 😁 I'm okay now. It seems so small. Something so tiny and minute that is easy to breeze over especially when you like someone. Also, I thought I was doing the right thing by stating my standards. Naive, really. And labelling it as simple disrespect is exactly right. If a guy will do that in front of you, imagine what he's capable of doing behind your back, etc etc. It's an outright sign of a total lack of respect. They don't change. They just get better at hiding it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 05:52 PM
1

First off, art is a lot of things. Not just what you are describing to be "art." Secondly, the types of people you are describing as artists are actually just mentally unhealthy and unstable people who have no place in my life nor on this forum. I don't accept "artists" nor anyone who would work so hard to smear someone they cheated on so why would I accept it from a random on the internet? And why are you siding with this crap as a creative outlet? Did it ever occur to you that you can be an ar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 07:27 AM
1

That's different from men trying to use it manipulatively. And on that note, I'm really not interested to keep discussing a male "creative" (sheisty) point of view of with you. The dude cheated and wanted to smear the girl he cheated on afterwards to make her look like she was in the wrong, when ayo! It was him! That's much different from a "creative outlet" like you keep suggesting is at the forefront of this topic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 07:11 AM
2

The guy who cheated needs healing? I have an ex male who made albums for every single girl who dumped him (not girls who he had dumped) so these "beautiful projections of art" really can be used manipulatively. I've also been around arts communities quite heavily and males within these communities often use this outlet to burn women they feel scorned by. In the end, the artist has the last laugh because their work endures time and is viewed by people. It's a dark side of arts communities and I t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 06:40 AM
29

He was a trust fund kid that came from a family with a much higher earning status than mine, to put lightly. He showered me with gifts, took me everywhere, and helped me up my education. BUT he checked out a girl in front of me one day during our early stages of dating and I, at 17 years old, told him I didn't appreciate it and would never stand for him doing something like that in front of me again. We "dated" for 13 years. His job took us international. But still, at the end of it all, he was …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 06:33 AM
1

So true!! I've seen a guy produce a whole musical album messing with a girl HE CHEATED ON. He was pissy because she dumped him. The art lives on though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 06:15 AM
1

It can be. But one is inner self-work and the other is vetting strategies of cutting men out of your life who cannot be trusted. You're making both sound impossible for yourself but I don't believe that they are impossible? I think they take time. I think they take work to get both right. But I don't think they're impossible. You can figure out tactics and strategies to get through both issues. Or you can tack therapy on to help you, but you're not doomed to a life of never trusting yourself and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 04:25 AM
2

Wow that's so terrible. 😭 She was trying so hard to be safe. Yeah you're exactly right! About two months ago a story broke in the last neighborhood I lived in where a man killed his EX wife and then drove to the police station near my old house and shot himself in the parking lot. Women are more at-risk of dying when they leave and most women understand that it's a massive risk to leave their partner for these reasons. Sometimes it's very deeply ingrained and they don't even realize they truly f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 02:25 AM
19

That laugh at the end is gold! 🤣 And I'M DIGGIN' IT!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 01:35 AM
2

You say the trust issues are inability to trust your partner, and then explain your trust issues are the inability to trust yourself because of thyroid issues and your past. So I'm lost. Try therapy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 11:44 PM
25

Actually... Even the rapper Outkast sings about letting ALL of his worldwide girls know about the girl he found whom he fell in love with. He said, "I CC'd every girl that I'd see see around town, I'd hate to see y'all frownin' but I'd rather see her smilin'." When they are serious, it shows. Of course those are just lyrics, who knows how true. I really wouldn't ever trust a musician with any sort of "fame" no matter how small again. That poor girl sounds way down the rabbit hole. Omg it is insa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 11:03 PM
10

I think I can sum this up to a short list of different tactics I think you should read deeply on: Triangulation Instilling fear in you Putting you in set ups to guilt you He's an everyday sadist, meaning he likes to hurt you Moving the goal posts Competing with you Read up on those!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 10:52 PM
27

Wow I'm glad for you too! These guys are no good. I thought I was safe since we had had the same friends circle since high school and he was close with my older brother at points... Nope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 08:51 PM
31

Oh I was there and had to learn too. Don't feel bad! Now we know and we can't be played 👀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 05:34 PM
151

Never even bother to bring a man "up" because once he's "up" he's out the door on you. These guys are parasitic vampires. They suck you dry while they take all the help you give them to level themselves up, and then they leave you in the dust. Meanwhile he's done nothing to up your life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 05:31 PM
77

I actually saved an early text from my ex when we were "talking" as just friends before dating which said: "Women throw themselves at me when they see I have a fly chick and I would be lying if I said I didn't play that to my advantage often." That's word for word. Guess who got used to be his "fly chick" to play other women? You guessed it! Ladies went absolutely insane when we started dating and pics were being posted of us. I mean worldwide attention on social media as he was an international…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 05:21 PM
8

Also 15 year long girlfriend, NOPE. Mixologist, my arse. Bar tenders are always scummy and yet another category of men to avoid in dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 05:07 PM
7

Oh hell no. Go through everything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 05:04 PM
116

That's great! Sometimes I think the young girls coming up really have things hard with the male population at this point, but then I also realize young women are waking up much sooner than older generations did because of messages like this. ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 04:59 PM
138

Bingo again! Someone else popped up. Hot--->cold is always another girl.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 07:18 AM
57

Bingo! Nothing HV about this creep. Run to a bustling city center maybe. 🤣 Either way, gtfo of this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 07:17 AM
68

Oooo. This is good ❤️. Like women WANT to be getting abused. Seriously, scrotes? All of them who don't leave right away want this? Obviously something else is going on there that you are missing. Insane that we can't hit that level of understanding as a society. Here is one small reason of the many women have an extremely hard time getting out of a situation like this: https://courses2.cit.cornell.edu/sociallaw/student_projects/BatteredWomanSyndrome.htm Walker describes a "battered woman" as any…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 07:11 AM
38

That's actually a good idea. 🤣Maybe put the FDS website on it too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 07:02 AM
43

I might say something like, "I only date men who do almost 100% of the cooking. So do you cook?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 07:00 AM
43

Haha 😂 I love your responses! Do you plan on buying a yacht within the next two years? How good are you at fixing cars with boxster engines? Can you appropriately raise human spawn that came from your sperm? 🧐
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 06:59 AM
8

Yeah that's another thing. The amount of time it actually sucks from your day to do this. And actually some men are in the game for the sole reason of wasting an awesome girl's time. I'm really surprised at how many ladies are falling into accepting this lately 😬.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 06:51 AM
6

You will feel you can trust people who prove to you that they can be trusted on a consistent basis. This is why vetting a male takes a long while. Trust is built, not handed out freely. I really doubt you have trust issues. I'm going to guess you've been with people you gave trust to whom you really couldn't actually trust and who didn't work to earn your trust and probably broke your trust over and over. Take some time to heal up. Get your boundaries strong, understand any and all red flags lik…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 06:17 AM
28

Yeah I agree! I keep seeing women making excuses for an extensive "talking phase" as they do a month + long-winded text exchange with a man. This accomplishes a lot on the male side. He makes the girl think there's something special there. 😂 There isn't. He is manipulating her and getting into her head via text. She starts to think this is a "relationship" since they talk every day. She stops entertaining other men since he is the one who is consistent with her everyday. It gives her a false sen…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 06:05 AM
15

By toying I mean someone they'll have sex with, lead on, but they don't genuinely care about you. If you can't tell the differences you need to stay single until you get it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 02:32 PM
24

Oh man. You called me out very hard here. 😂 Pilots = players and far too pompous to even kind of be normal. Pilots are also drunks. Military = why are these guys all so fucked in the head? Dark issues, players, generally hate women, and porn addicted Artists = the arts communities treat women horribly and put it under the guise of creativity and freedom of expression. Some of the worst communities I've been around in terms of how they treat women (objects). Musician with a little bit of world wi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 02:07 PM
18

Was thinking the same thing. 😂 Sir, I will be bringing up ALL the damn points.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 06:54 AM
58

The first red flag should be the only and the very last. Stop making excuses for him. Men can wear a mask for as long as they need to in order to gain what they want from you. Men really put you into one of two categories right away. 1. Something they would toy with 2. Someone they care about and are interested in. There really isn't any grey area and it shows on their face pretty much immediately. There's a certain way genuine men look at you. I don't mean just mean a smile. I don't just mean t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 06:51 AM
2

Woah. I never thought about this! How men would see lesbians as competition. Please tell me more!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 05:54 AM
1

Yeah I knew it wasn't the lil peep lookalike 😂 she shouldn't date for a while after something like that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 05:30 PM
3

I heard this guy was bad to her which was enough for me, but I had no idea it went that far. I guess it makes sense. She's an abuse victim really steeped in denial. She makes some sort of sense now. Ugggggh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 03:22 PM
6

Right? Farrr down the rabbit hole!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 07:13 AM
22

Like only for men. Forever. All things men. Dating advice. Reasons to not have sex with a girl. It's kind of creepy how much she hates her own sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 07:01 AM
38

Ah yes. Nothing like betting away your integrity in a Mcdonald's Drive thru to a Lil Peep lookalike. 😂 Thought Lil Peep was still alive for a second. Wait a second. Is this girl a female Lil Peep?! Peep was misogynist af, so yeah. I guess so. 😅🤮 Let's all do a good thing and stop giving her views. She's literally making money off of us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 06:33 AM
18

I'm sad she told him who it was 😬 Eek. I really pray nothing comes of that for the girl who gave the evidence. I hope these two can help to keep each other safe. That girl saved her life... ✌️😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 06:22 AM
14

Yeah I already figured that much, that it's you ignoring him but he's not getting it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 01:50 AM
34

The ultimate piece that creeps me out is "We are both shy." Eugh. Fuck. Like you're the same. A team. And like he knows you well enough to even make that call.. Nope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 01:42 AM
2

https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/jex8mb/personal_security_self_defense_thread/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 01:26 AM
5

Even if he were mentally challenged, that's not your problem! Is this him? 😬 Edit: oh sorry I see that you say it's him! Uh. You did everything right by alerting your complex... Keep your eyes peeled and document anything coming your way. Keys in hand/mace when you leave or arrive home. I'm sorry he even put you in this position, I know how that can feel. Reminds me of a pizza guy texting me after he delivered me a pizza once. There's something about them knowing your address that is a whole oth…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 01:14 AM
13

Tf is this? Reminds me of something I dealt with this summer. An actually mentally disabled boy (I went through all grades with him and we graduated together) always seeing me at the park and not leaving me alone from the time I got out of my car to the time I returned to the car and drove off with him still staring at me. Every time I tried to pull out of it, he became angry and many times I was scared to be next to him. He would come close to my car doors when I exited and I would be panicking…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 12:50 AM
156

So accurate. 😂 Plenty of times males are simply competing with each other to win you over but they don't actually care about you. It's more about getting one over on another male.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 04:35 AM
35

I love her. I tried to buy a style of gun that she was famous for using. 🤩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 12:05 AM
20

Omg my Leo ex narc should have this tattooed next to his LION tattoo. 🤣 You just made my whole day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 08:46 AM
6

Way to call me out 😬 The smart one got me. Yeeeeeeshhhh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 08:43 AM
25

Ask them "Who on earth would actually WANT one of those?" Not the most mature, but why do you have to explain yourself when someone is obviously trying to make you feel bad? Newsflash. Ya don't. Also, it makes it seem exactly like the choice that it is for you. No need to elaborate really, ya know? I once received an answer like this when I told a girl who has never been married (in her 40's and hot as heck) that I was worried people were going to start talking smack as I'm not married. She repl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 08:41 AM
10

That's interesting but I don't buy it. 🤣 Many studies listed on the Wikipedia and elsewhere also show women still receive more violence in relationships. I do believe there are just violent women out there, but I believe much of it is reactive abuse or more culturally accepted for violent or "fiesty" females where the men also act violently. The major problem I think is knowing when women experience DV it can often lead to DEATH for us. We are literally consistently at-risk of DYING at the hands…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 10:43 PM
41

Oh no 🤣 another delusional male. Shocked! Women out here beating up dudes in their relationships at an alarming rate and we weren't even aware, ladies! Thank God for this guy! 🙄 Domestic Violence statistics don't support his claims at all. Like on any level. Is he okay? notallmenbutprettymuch99.9%ofthem
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 07:37 PM
8

Mine was always competing with me and lied about how much he made to feel better. Also he somehow got like 7+ promotions in a year 🙄 he's just that good. 🤣 Guys who compete with you like this are no bueno. It's dump and run material.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 07:16 AM
13

Yep. View the paperwork. Sounds insane but not as insane as finding out the real truth 1.5 years into dating when you accidentally stumble upon the paperwork. Try to figure out the dynamics of how the rship is now with the ex wife. Not just what he tells you. But snoop. Do they still follow each other on social media? 🤮 Sometimes they are still stuck on each other and playing games you don't want to be a part of. If you get the sense at all that you're being emotionally punished for anything in …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 07:05 AM
1

I'm okay now and F him. Lolol. It was the strangest thing. No bruising, no swelling. Made me mad that there were no visible signs and really amplified that feeling of being isolated. Pain on my face but nobody could see it. Strangulation is extremely serious in DV. Not to scare you but to hopefully spread awareness. Here's a page that explains why: https://www.thehotline.org/resources/the-dangers-of-strangulation/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 03:36 AM
5

Yes. They teeter on this line very well for a long time. Once they've worn you down enough and desensitize you, they start to get worse and cross the line and by then after wearing you down so badly, you take it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 07:37 AM
6

I think all of us believe fully that it could never turn physical. I think that's typical and yet another reason why we stay so long. "Well he doesn't hit me and that's what abuse really is!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 07:35 AM
6

I think you point out a very important point though! This guy was literally torturing you and it didn't fit the standard lists we always see online so you overlooked it. Also, to a normal person, that seems crazy as hell but they are... They are crazy as hell. THIS can keep women confused and stuck for a long time. Utter disbelief that someone can operate that way. But quite simply, he was torturing you. This is also a trait of a SADIST. Possibly psychopath. But they like to see you in pain and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 07:28 AM
5

I hear you too. It wasn't some random story. It was someone doing one of the worst things they possibly could to you. You're not alone. You have a whole community of women who genuinely care now and if it ever comes close to happening again, you know all of us will care. Internet strangers or not. I'm really sorry you didn't have that before. I know how it feels and it's anything but easy to pick up the aftermath of it all totally alone. I didn't report either because I knew my guy would just tw…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 07:21 AM
25

Oh no 🤮 puke on this whole thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 06:55 AM
3

Right 🤣 like a pirate name. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 06:47 AM
7

So wait. She goes through all of this with a male and still sees it fit to help MALES protect themselves? Honestly. I just feel really sorry for her. I feel like eventually she might wisen up but her embarassing hate of her own sex is forever out there on the internet and she will never be able to escape that. She's ruining her own life as we speak and some pickmes just make me sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 06:44 AM
21

Somebody posted her a while back and someone on here called her "Ol' Sharpie Neck" and I think that's worth mentioning again. All I see is another scrote who hates women. This girl has some very serious deep-seated issues that are um.... Not my fuckin' problem. 🤷🏼‍♀️🤣 You have to be way down the rabbit hole to hate the very sex that you are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 06:33 AM
15

Sounds like my family! 🤣 Not hard to see how I got roped into abusive relationships with men as an adult.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 06:40 PM
26

He breadcrumbed me a lot by making it seem like he would soon be giving me the treatment and the things I needed to be happy. He was just "in a rough spot" etc. Better times always seemed like they were right around the corner because of this. Oddly enough, they never came. Every time I did try to pull away he love bombed me and I bought it. He dangles carrots of things I wanted right in front of me and made it seem like if I acted just right, I would get the thing I always wanted. Never happene…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 06:39 PM
30

This is financial abuse. She needs to get out of this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 02:36 AM
17

This is why the girl covered up for so long! I think she's pretty and blessed. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Go cry scrotes. They wish....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 10:44 PM
2

Little does the girl in this situation know that she has an online community of females rooting for her and plotting to get her safe. ❤️ You ladies ROCK. ✊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 08:14 PM
4

At the end of two years together his constant yelling etc. had finally escalated to physical abuse (as it always does). I was really trying to make a quiet escape plan and stick to it. But he was so insane and kept me so disheveled I could never get to that piece. One morning he flung the bathroom door open knowing I was behind it and I just had enough. He went to work, continued to chew me out in text all day as I packed my things. I didn't mention at all that I was leaving. I texted some frien…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 06:40 PM
22

I wish to God someone had called over what they were hearing me go through. I can't believe none of our neighbors did. I'm still bitter about that. The guy was kicking out entire DOORS in our house. They saw and heard things constantly. I was constantly yelled at. We have an obligation as being a part of a community to look out for women and children in this situation. He might not be hitting her.... Yet. He will. Save this girl the trauma, please. The "Not my monkeys, not my circus" mentality w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 06:14 PM
8

I have some that have been talking to themselves since 2015! LOL 🤣 How depraved can you actually get? The scrotes in your inbox will show you exactly how depraved a male can get.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 05:53 PM
2

It was a really fancy salon in a cow town with a university that really clings to hippie mentality. I went to school there and used to be the same! Oh you don't need any possessions! Or nice things. I was the dudebro cool girl... that kind of thinking. But I left, landed my dream job, and now have the ability to treat myself when I visit friends. Some of my friends even hassled me about it. Really weird to give a s* where a girl cuts her hair and openly state that you're not okay with her choice…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 04:31 PM
7

Lmao 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 06:40 AM
31

Girl on the left actually looks like a younger girl who negged me once for having a $200 salon day. All I heard was "I settle for bullshit and YOU SHOULD TOO!" I work soooo hard for my money and I like having nice hair, so meh. Fuck right off. 😂 If you work hard enough and stop paying attention to your couch creature as his forever live-in girlfriend, you can be here one day!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 06:29 AM
122

Or they'll just be talking to themselves in your DMs if they don't get the hint. And that shit is always funny! 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 02:39 AM
1

Get rid of the phone number on this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 02:02 AM
75

Absolutely. Men can ruin our lives this way. Let's say you're done with the relationship and dump him? 9 / 10 x you better be ready for a smear campaign and hope to God you gave him nothing to scorn you with. This is MOST males. I have seen and dealt with this my whole life. They also use the info as reasons to abuse you, excuses to cheat, a reason to always trump you in arguments, etc etc etc. It's absolutely ZERO of their business. Don't learn the hard way! Thank you for posting this. ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 06:54 PM
67

Yes 😂 Once knew a man whose wife left him after she worked to put him through school for what he wanted to go for. Then when it was her turn to go she chose graphic design and he belittled her choice, even sent her charts about how it was financially stupid. He also displayed irrational anger at times and had MAJOR daddy issues. She ended up cheating on him and leaving him and he can't figure out why? Not that I support cheating at all, but seriously? After that he had no self reflection and tri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 09:05 AM
21

I'd agree with the less OLD stuff. This sub knows it's trash and doesn't really support the use of it. But maybe women posting that they are using it gives other women the chance to chime in like why are you using OLD and gets them thinking. Tough balance, I guess.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 02:20 AM
22

Red flags. Building your boundaries and deal breakers and making them strong. How to vet during the first week to 6 months. Staying safe when blocking or turning a male down. More info about spotting covertly manipulative men who love bomb in the early stages (females are often duped by this if they haven't experienced it before). I do actually appreciate the bad relationships Reddit posts sometimes because we can dissect WHY it is bad and how to avoid those things in the future. I think it gets…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 02:17 AM
28

They won't apologize even when they've clearly done something wrong. They love-bomb you and make grandiose future promises very early on. It will be flattering if you don't understand what is happening. They don't take no for an answer (as this is you enforcing a boundary). In fact, try to reinforce any boundary with them and you will see right away who they are. This is why I now will tell a guy within the first week NO on something and gauge how he reacts. They tell you things about yourself t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 04:45 PM
24

This is a really important part of healing from something like this .... You need to understand what early red flags you dismissed in the beginning! And then you need to understand early red flags of Narcs/manipulators/sociopaths/psychopaths/sadists in general. It literally will show in the first few conversations you have with someone, but if you don't have that skill-set and that knowledge, you will keep going and miss big cues to keep yourself safe from this person. After that you MUST chill …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 04:19 PM
3

Does she put a bib on him and make airplane sounds with those "tasting spoons?" Goodness gracious holy patron saint of FDS. I'll bet money this guy ends up betraying her somehow with some girl online.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 05:40 PM
9

Fuck. Why the comma? Better be able to deal with third grade writing skills too, I guess. What a prize.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 07:51 AM
18

Yeah I agree! This is the ultimate dupe and the fact that they use good ol' fashioned ABUSE to squirm out of it is harrowing to say the least. I love FDS for so many reasons but hearing stories of other women encountering the same abusive dupes makes me realize the issues we deal with are common and helps me to self-blame less. It's so absolutely confusing when this happens. It's your typical long con. Guys like this are the worst...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 06:42 PM
11

Exactly. That's really what it comes down to! 😂🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 06:38 PM
5

LMAO. I think it's probably moreso the other way around. Women who are preyed upon because their good looks often lead to negative and depraved interactions with men. This guy is a dumpster fire.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 05:48 PM
43

That's truly what it sound like to me. Knowing what I know now and having lived this a little bit, I would put all my savings on the real problem being that he is cheating and he's too much of a pansy to get himself out of the rship so he did this instead. Men are gems like this when they cheat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 05:38 PM
99

With the disappearing, etc. it sounds like he is cheating. Much of his anger is probably due to projecting the qualities he contains (cheater, promiscuous) onto her and thinking she is the same way. Edit: Let me correct this. He's abusing her because he actually KNOWS she isn't like this and deep down he can't stand the fact that he IS. That's why he is blaming his actions on her being raped. He doesn't believe she is promiscuous. He's using a past piece of key information as an excuse to abuse …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 05:24 PM
23

Bwhahahah. This guy acts like he would even have this many prospects to deal with. You're lucky if you even dupe one poor unsuspecting lady into your bs, guy. The lawyer will take his money for all this but will be laughing about it on the inside. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 05:15 PM
145

Just wrote a similar comment a moment ago on another post but.... Women are allowed to backtrack out of ANYTHING at any given point in time, ALWAYS. That's our innate right as a free human being who needs to protect ourself and nobody else gets to disagree. Nobody gets to take that right from you. Not your mom. Not the scrote you've been dating for ten years. Nobody. F this guy, I hope she leaves him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 07:58 AM
92

I saw this a while back! Definitely dude bro cool girl vibes from her. But something really important I want to point at is that the woman who decides to talk instead of make out did NOTHING wrong. This girl can go ahead and be mad. Women are allowed to change their mind at ANY given time about ANYTHING. This girl and any male acting the same is not OWED anything and you are ALWAYS ALLOWED to backtrack on such intimate things. This can be mid-sex. You get to decide always if you're done, over it…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 06:56 AM
16

Same with women in abusive situations and men who respond "wHy doESnT sHe JuST LeAvE. sHe MuST LiKe iT oN SoME LEvEL"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 05:08 AM
12

Daniel Sloss! It seems his comedy is evolving quite a bit. Too bad it took something like this for him to stop generally always fitting the narrative of shit men. Won't praise him since I've seen some his earlier work, but meh. Good job, I guess.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 05:05 AM
82

YES! Men really just like to have office flirts that go nowhere. I had a dude who did this for over two years with me. Once I announced I was dating somebody he LOST it in front of all of us at work. Ladies followed up with me at work like, "What was that about? I think he likes you?" My response? "I'm around him everyday. He could have asked me out. Not my problem." 🤷🏼‍♀️ And that's the truth. These fuckwits aren't our problem. I absolutely love how you point out your making excuses "He's just …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 04:53 AM
9

Announce their boners 🤣 Yes. Like we give a shit?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 12:42 AM
4

Wow, your background sounds like my background. I've recently started implementing boundaries where I used to show none with male friends and guess what? I barely have any anymore. Actually, I think I don't have any at this point. 🤣 I left an abusive relationship in January, went and stayed with a group of friends I've known for a long time. One of my closest male friends in the group tried to have sex with me even after I told them all what I had JUST been through. Nope. Men sure as fuck are no…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 12:18 AM
62

Wow. This is truly terrible. She must feel devastated. I hope she goes on to find something even better for herself. ❤️ N/LVM will suck your life and your future completely dry and men in general get extremely spiteful and vengeful after a break up. I wouldn't put it past ANY males to act this way if you dump them. This is why I'll never hop to congratulate a woman for a guy being decent the first few months. Barf. It takes a long while for the mask to slip. Without that though, most men react t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 02:49 AM
8

Point. Any interaction is a waste of time. Thanks for the reminder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 09:11 AM
8

I'm saving this and will send it to all my bastard exes who try to boomerang me. All of this is everything they did! Creeeeepyyyyy. Thank you for this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 12:48 AM
27

Wow. That's an earth-shattering comment...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 12:46 AM
16

Ew. Puke.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 12:37 AM
9

Wow! I was with a guy for 13 years and when I accidentally went through material that synced to his phone, I found out he had been meeting up with our mutual friend's heroin addict little sis! 😂 I, too, was called "insecure" for not liking this revelation. Ahhhahaha. Makes me laugh now but it wasn't so funny back then. I'll never not go through a phone. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Sue me. That's the only way most of us would ever get the real truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 01:23 AM
128

All I see is a man who cannot stand the fucking fact that you know the real him now and him wanting the chance to gaslight you into not believing it. Toobadsosadohwell. Grade A loser. I'm happy you found out now. Ladies, (and I say this knowing it's hugely unpopular advice) always go through the phone!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 04:05 AM
11

That's a sorry ass throne for a "king." Dying. Looks more like clown town than a palace. 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 07:24 AM
15

Disappointment now has a "flavor" for me. 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 07:18 AM
28

Right? He learned to cook a meal? No man should be "praised" for something this simple. Sweet gesture, sure, but undeserving of winded praise. The dude cooked a meal. I've dated mostly men who cooked maybe more than me, figured out my favorite meals, etc. and they were all NVM. Didn't the lady say he does it when she's taking extra time with the kids or overwhelmed? Not impressed. How was it such a lengthy process for him to figure such a simple meal out 😂 I'm gonna bet this is the only meal he …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 07:14 AM
112

I love this! I also always say, "Give a LVM ten minutes and he'll take the next ten years of your life." It's scary how quickly it happens.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 05:10 PM
144

I'd go to the grocery store and enjoy not getting perved on while I choose a bell pepper. Fuck. The simple things, ya know?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 08:39 AM
13

Pickmes are nearly impossible to change. Unless they have started to show that they are seeing the light, I really wouldn't bother. It's very deeply ingrained stuff and you will only drain yourself. Save your sanity. The internet is mostly trash, but there are good places to go. I recommend avoiding the areas where all the dick bags reside. The bad thing about the social media boom is that any moron is now given a platform and a spotlight. It's dangerous, but you don't have to indulge. It is tot…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 08:04 AM
18

! I really support journaling and find it has worked wonders for me throughout my life in different stages. When I have female friends going through a rough time I always recommend it. Many tend to not understand how beneficial it can be so they never touch it. It's a wonderful way to validate yourself (which you might not be getting anywhere else), get the feelings out of you and solidify them somewhere, and it's a great way to check yourself too. Many times I would start a rant about some male…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 07:31 AM
41

For as early as I can remember, my experience as a female has always been invalidated by men. Women sat quietly as men told us/me all about what we/I experience. Whether I was a toddler, a young woman in high school, a growing bad ass in college, or a career-minded woman in the workforce; they always had to control the conversation. I've often reflected on this throughout my life. I think we learn very early on that men get to write the rules, our history, and our experiences for us. We go silen…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 07:10 AM
38

That sent chills down my spine. 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 11:40 PM
113

I think you hit a good point when you say that they hate self reflection. Further though, I think they don't want women self-reflecting or being self-aware because that means we are more connected to our intuition and innate senses. If we are more connected to our intuition, we are more likely to see through the games they play and of course they don't want that because then they don't get laid, which I generally feel is their end goal. When a woman knows herself, men don't get away with the bs …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 07:47 AM
34

My personality comes off as free-spirit, smiley and jokey. Men prey upon this attitude. I had to really learn the hard way that my natural spirit is an open door for predators. I spent a lot of time in my late twenties and now figuring that out and learning to reign it in. It's hard because that's just how I am. I come off as bubbly and people take it as me being a pushover. It is very true. You need to reserve your kindness for people who EARN your respect, kindness, and trust. These traits in …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 04:48 AM
16

I wish!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 06:29 AM
122

Um? I would like my own personal umbrella man?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 02:01 AM
47

Nothing more dangerous than a pretty and smart girl who doesn't understand her worth. You've arrived now and that's all that matters. ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 04:53 AM
42

That second part is reeeeeal important. Or it won't matter who you cut ties with because you'll keep picking badly for yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 04:41 AM
35

Wtf is even happening here? This is not a date. 🤣 This is "I'm on my period and I need bad food and it's 11pm." It looks like they're sitting in a trash pile with no clothes on. These moments happen, but not for a date. Please. Puhh leeease. Like I can't tell the difference between this and something a hobo would do. This is a hobo date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 04:37 AM
13

Ol' sharpie neck 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 02:24 AM
11

This girl makes video after video after video like this. She's totally nauseating. Roid heads and fools are always chiming in about whether or not they would bang her and how much they "like her content." Probably the Pickmeisha queen of the millennium. Puke.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 02:17 AM
187

Reminds me of a time a straight male friend told me "Come on. Women are just more beautiful and better to look at. Even women ONLY want to look at other women." It was like he believed that just because he was sexually attracted to girls that everyone else MUST BE too. Lolol. I'll never forget how stunned I was. I am a straight female. I'm not attracted sexually to females on any level. I'm not even going to go into the whole "I think they're so pretty" because that's a given and often used as a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 07:04 AM
4

"Friends" like this are a black hole of dead weight. I'm so sorry you went through all of this! The story about him breaking your glasses and saying you did it in your sleep... Infuriating. Mine used to "accidentally" hit me in bed. I would be wide awake when it happened but he would tell me I was flailing uncontrollably and he tried to stop me. I know you went through hell from the instances you portray. It's hard enough to deal with, let alone have "friends" invalidate your experience. When I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 05:40 AM
116

These are fairy penguins! They are guarded by golden retrievers to help them repopulate. The males decorate their homes and pathways with flowers and clean them really nicely to attract a mate. They can scale almost completely vertical, extremely high cliffs. At night they run around and make squeaky sounds. They're nocturnal! love them so much! And I love the guy who knits them sweaters! Also, they're BLUE!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 05:22 AM
20

I laughed so hard at this comment!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 03:55 AM
2

Unlike those women who wear tons of makeup, I can change a tire. 😂 Bitch I do both.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 01:23 AM
2

OMG I love SPACE GHOST ❤️ This is so funny! Lolol. No thanks on any male playing "woke."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 01:16 AM
30

I'll never not check a guy's phone before entering a real relationship with him. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I'm sure that's unpopular opinion on Reddit and elsewhere. But I've had my life ruined multiple times by not checking sooner. Also, I was right every.single.time. It's honestly just a part of my vetting strategies now. Last guy I dated was sneaking pics of young girls he knew at work. Screen shots saved of young girls profile pics. Also, he was talking to his motherf*ing ex after making us both make a pact tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 06:46 AM
12

So many men actually feel this way and know these things but operate covertly. This guy is not a "one off" weirdo. These ideals are common. You have to know what to look for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 06:36 AM
3

AHAHHAHA.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 10:25 PM
3

If that's his couch they're cuddled up on during this "dream date," I'm sure it smells weird.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 10:23 PM
5

Exactly! Women are never "allowed" to be angry by society's standards and that's really unhealthy for us. It took me a long time to learn that anger is okay and a necessary part of life. At my worst times, anger pushed me forward and gave me the drive to get out of bad situations with men, bad work environments (where oddly enough, it was a male boss making my situation hell) etc. They don't want us to have it or utilize it because it's a form of standing up for ourselves, and if we keep doing t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 03:22 PM
19

No. You're not. Narcs twist and make you think it's you. You might even pick up FLEAS, where you pick up actions of theirs. But the fact that you're asking and I'm seeing his abuse.. I'm gonna bet my life savings the problem isn't you, hun..please start safely and quietly making an exit plan.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 06:13 AM
7

My ex Narc could have written this. He did write this a thousand times over. Scary shit!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 06:11 AM
33

Anger is often downsized to being a "bad" emotion, but it's not a bad emotion. No emotions are "bad." Excessive, ongoing, neverending streams of one emotion can be harmful for all types of emotions. Low amounts or blips of anger can be healthy in change-making and release of pent-up pain. It can also be invalidating to tell a woman she shouldn't be angry or furious when she's been treated wrong. Anger is a normal emotion and a normal reaction to being treated like shit. It's up to the individual…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 11:18 PM
32

LOL! This pickme is like PLEASE DON'T TAKE MY LOW STANDARDS AWAY FROM ME! Very strange. Sounds like some deep insecurity issues on her part that he's making her face? On that note though, guys levelling up so hard is usually (not always) a sign of cheating but in this case, she's not mentioning that? Sounds like the dude simply had a drug-induced wake up call from the Universe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 02:59 AM
5

I'm feeling the same this year and had a 5 year string of dating too with some longer rships in the mix. I'm not sure I'll ever want to step out of this peaceful bubble I'm in!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 06:39 AM
12

Actually laughed out loud 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 04:23 AM
25

The tiny bed and empty wallet 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 02:10 PM
75

I bet this girl had DMs in her inbox about this and had to pay hard for saying this. I've actually heard female comedians talk about this quite a bit! Regardless, good for her!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 01:49 PM
49

Point! And further than that, I wonder why any men like to shout into the void about what they "prefer." I give zero fucks and quite frankly I'm tired of hearing about any of it from them. We don't care? What makes any of them think we do? It's laughable really! Doesn't matter what it is. Makeup/no makeup. Long hair/short hair. Hot weather/cold weather. Boy, we (and I cannot stress this enough) do not give a shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 06:58 AM
9

These say so much! I'm glad you're out of that ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 04:00 AM
15

She should maybe try getting on a high horse? As she's the one who would be going through labor, rearing kids, not getting paid the same amount, not being able to work as easily. I mean yeah. There are a lot of reasons as a woman to be on a high horse 🤣 She picked herself a teenie pony by getting "picked."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 06:34 AM
6

Oh no 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 06:14 AM
45

All I hear is "I like my low standards."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 06:10 AM
131

I love that you asked this. Men tend to tell on themselves very early on! Like within the first few conversations. It's very important to know what to look for. Anytime they are mentioning anything about an ex further than "we didn't work out." Most people don't think like me. I was cheated on in last rship (most men wouldn't spill this right away if it were true). So they're either lying to manipulate, or they are emotional wrecks who will soon be your problem. Any touting of what makes a male …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 06:04 AM
31

Gosh your story of the erratic driving brought back a few memories of guys I dumped who did the exact same thing. Next time, I would meet with your own car in a public place to dump them. A lot of men act like this when you let them go. Be sure you can drive yourself away from the situation. Also maybe look up red flags of Narcissists. They show very early and you probably won't make it this far with another one again if you know what to look for! Another good vetting strategy to get rid of angr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 09:23 AM
21

HVM want a woman who owns herself. LVM DO really want doormats. It's important to note the difference!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 09:16 AM
28

Always a scrote named Dan in the mix, isn't there? It seems like it's a mandatory part of LV life or something. 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 04:23 AM
28

I thought I had met all types of LVM by this point, but lo and behold there are dish fuckers running around out there. Maybe I'll just burrow and live underground like a mole person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 06:28 AM
12

Male fairy penguins do this too 🤩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 03:36 AM
28

This may be the first time I've used this word but it spilled out of me like water... The fucking AUDACITY! ahem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 02:45 AM
2

Sir! ☝️ You seem lost!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 02:02 AM
5

I love this 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 01:59 AM
55

So important to do this! In fact, THREE lists: Exactly what you want in a man (dream big) Absolute deal breakers/your boundaries Red flags: both ones you've experienced or ones you've learned about. These lists all need to be lonnnnnng. Doing this really helped me make big, personal strides in knowing myself. Especially helpful after being in an abusive situation but these are truly a must do for ANY woman who is looking to date. These all need to be very solid in you before you hit the field.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 10:28 PM
3

Train wreck, dumpster fire, toilet fire all rolled into one! Lmao. I'm glad you are safe! Keep practicing NO!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 06:33 PM
8

Yes we all start out wanting to be friendly. But scrotes like this are viewing this all a different way. Your friendliness is a green light to them to try for more as they've shown you they are just this type. Being nice and compliant and short platonic visits and catching up in texts etc are viewed by them as a green light to keep trying. They'll do it for years and waste as much of your time as you allow them to! These aren't the types of guys who deserve your "friendliness" if that makes sens…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 05:24 PM
12

Guys like this throw hooks out constantly (you aren't the only one they are tossing a line at) and go for anyone who bites by trying to reel them in as soon as they respond. As long as you are offering yourself up to them by responding, they'll take it. This behaviour is not flattering. It means you are easy pickings for them. The only way to win is to not bite and remove yourself from the constant rotation of women they are plowing through or trying to plow through. You're in a Rolodex, if that…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 07:16 AM
5

I'd say the accusations of cheating would be mental abuse too. It always starts mentally before anything escalates to physical and mental/emotional abuse is very covert, insidious, and hard to spot in the beginning. But in my exp. emotional abuse has shown up as rage, insecurity, jealousy. Calling you a name is not the only sign of emotional abuse! Edit: many girls will believe they aren't being abused because it's not as cookie cutter as calling a girl a cunt or hitting her. Ladies get aware of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 06:41 AM
9

Nooo. Look up trauma bond and do a lot of reading on it! I think it will be eye opening for you! They take a long time to break so go easy on yourself. I understand it's super frustrating. And no you won't go back. But it really helps to understand what you are going through too. Stages of grief too. They take tiiiiiime. 8 months won't usually cut it if it was a long relationship. Give yourself time and space and forgiveness. It will feel good to go easy on yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 01:35 AM
43

It's a trauma bond! When you know they're bad for you but you still pine for them it's probably a trauma bond. They take a long time to break and basically signify that we are addicted to the loser chemically in the same way a drug addict is addicted to drugs. We get dopamine hits just thinking about them yes EVEN the painful stuff and revisiting both the bad and good memories can give us dopamine hits. You're altered chemically is why you aren't thinking clearly about the matter even though you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 01:20 AM
51

My ex actually did this lmao! I'm dying... And he was sure to point out the ongoing "synchronicity" between us. It was all staged bullshit 🤣🤣🤣 Toxic af! Edit: Maybe I send this to him from a throwaway at 11:11 tonite. Funny thing is he wouldn't know which ex it was coming from as he pulled this on all of us. LMAO. Stay "woke" 🙄🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 11:45 PM
5

Love me some Tina! ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 07:05 PM
90

Absolutely. Some men see strong, wonderful women and see it as a challenge to wear them down and break them over time. They're sick... but it's very real that they exist. Some men have no love in their hearts at all and can only project the hate they feel for themselves onto a partner. They aren't capable of anything else. Like emotionally/mentally/neurologically/physically not capable of empathy nor love. These types are very real and you don't realize it 'till one of them scares the bejesus ou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 10:06 AM
18

So wait a second. He's saying he didn't talk to a girl because she's out of his league, and yet continues talking to you and can't label you two? What league are you in with him then? Are you even on the field? Did you make the tryouts? Are you on the team? I mean if what he said is not a slap in the face I don't know what is. Get rid of this dope and give him space to chase girls he deems "worth it." For the record you are worth it all but a man like this will never recognize that. The problem …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 09:07 AM
63

Well that's pure gold 😂 "All straight men do is treat superior women like shit." I would highly consider getting this tattooed across my forehead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 08:56 AM
15

I know this can be hard but listen..... People- men/women are always going to give you s* or assume things based on what you look like. Especially if you look better than them. You've downplayed yourself for a long time and it still didn't change much for you in how people respond to your looks. So guess what? It's time to become self-aware and embrace what you were blessed with. The time is now. I struggled similarly in ways. Women just generally being mean and men only being interested in gett…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 05:55 AM
20

Try new recipes, yoga (really has helped me connect better to my intuition and feel generally stronger), read about my interests and spend time at bookstores, hike, swim laps, extensive skincare nights, consider my goals for the future and how to achieve them, journal, not fuck with dating for a while, keep in contact with my friends who live far, consider deal breakers/boundaries/red flags often, take myself out to eat at places I love, take my dog for long walks as much possible, cleaning, lon…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 05:25 AM
9

I think this post should be a permanent fixture in FDS handbook because this behavior from males is truly rampant and even FDS girls don't fully get it. Like was mentioned, most have to go through the wringer to understand, but maybe just mayyybeee a post like this can help. I wouldn't wish that cycle of abuse on any female and I think it's also pertinent to understand that this is common norm in men and something that MUST be added to vetting strategies. Much love!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 09:39 PM
1

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/chanel-miller-reads-her-entire-victim-impact-statement-she-wrote-to-address-brock-turner-60-minutes-2019-09-22/ This is Chanel Miller's impact statement that she read in court. It's harrowing to say the least. BUT LADIES, LISTEN UP AND PAY ATTENTION TO THIS, and please pay attention to the severity of how much EVERYTHING was used against her. I consider this the case of the century and her statement is a piece of writing I hold very dear to my heart to remind me exac…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 05:01 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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