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gursky0 Archive

View 23 posts and 852 comments by gursky0 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
454

REMINDER 👑gursky0/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 01:45 AM
328

STRATEGYgursky0/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 01:09 AM
327

STRATEGYgursky0/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 10:13 PM
215

REMINDER 👑gursky0/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 09:20 PM
211

RED FLAG 🚨gursky0/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 05:00 AM
182

Story time ☕gursky0/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 03:40 AM
163

DUMP HIS ASSgursky0/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 05:08 AM
161

MALE DEPRAVITYgursky0/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 04:57 AM
126

RED FLAG 🚨gursky0/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 01:10 AM
108

RANTgursky0/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 02:46 PM
85

SEEKING ADVICEgursky0/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 03:13 AM
69

How-To High Valuegursky0/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 01:44 AM
59

ROAST-A-SCROTEgursky0/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 06:18 PM
43

LEVEL UPgursky0/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 05:25 AM
28

FDS HUMORgursky0/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 09:50 PM
27

ROAST-A-SCROTEgursky0/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 06:18 AM
22

gursky0/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/19 04:44 AM
20

SEEKING ADVICEgursky0/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 08:46 PM
1

REMINDER 👑gursky0/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 08:40 PM
1

ROAST-A-SCROTEgursky0/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 04:19 AM
1

DISCUSSIONgursky0/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 07:41 AM
1

FDS ANTHEM 🎶gursky0/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 08:25 PM
1

SEEKING ADVICEgursky0/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 09:08 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Last year I had a solo spa day and it was so wonderful! This year while things are open I don't feel safe doing something like that, so I think I'll have a spa day at home with a bubble bath, face mask, wine and a good book. I'll miss the massage though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 06:41 PM
4

That poor baby girl. What a sick man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 08:14 AM
6

It's an american southern expression, "put the ___ up" means put it away, not literally "up". I was confused first time I heard it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 05:27 AM
84

"well-mannered" "old-fashioned" "freak in the sheets" Ew. Not only is he demanding and pretending he's the prize, he's light years away from meeting his own standards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 03:58 AM
9

She's so talented but her lyrics are so...pitiful. I always feel icky listening to her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 06:07 AM
11

I'm the TradBlockerDemon
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 05:32 AM
11

Me neither. It never crossed my mind, and I was never asked to by my LV exes or anyone I briefly dated. I was horrified to learn it's so prevalent...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 10:43 PM
15

I've done lunch and dinner for first dates...and my dates were students. (I prefer lunch as it feels more casual and I feel safer meeting a stranger during the day). A grown man with a real job finds a dinner date too much of a commitment? Bye. I would do something like what you did - say I'm not much of a drinker and see what else he suggests. If I don't like his response, I'd unmatch. And yes, you are weeding out the cheap trash that wants to use your body and is trying the same thing with as …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 04:19 PM
7

I love this. Thanks for sharing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 03:44 PM
10

HAHAHAHA this has to be fake....please be fake.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 02:59 PM
18

Like a dog licking its balls. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 02:27 AM
24

Is that why it was crooked??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 02:26 AM
27

Definitely don't mention sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 05:00 AM
9

Best case scenario, he got cheated on before and is going to make me pay for his ex's behavior. Why bother with that baggage?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 12:26 AM
18

can't wait for a husband that spoils me like this (I already spoil myself like this)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 11:48 PM
11

It's so sad! Open-minded to me means being curious about new ideas and knowledge, learning about different religious or cultural traditions, experiencing different cultures. NOT having no boundaries in the bedroom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 03:27 AM
3

Very true. It just breaks my heart that they try to break the spirits of girls barely, or not even, out of their teens.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 10:31 PM
124

Why are you even talking to him? He needs to be out of your life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 05:43 AM
121

Old, unattractive, damaged men really can't stand that pretty young women have far better choices and want nothing to do with them. I really hope she didn't take those entitled ramblings to heart. Those requirements were so basic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 02:21 AM
76

I would say around 24 hours. Ideally he should text you right after the date to make sure you got home ok/tell you he had a great time/set up the next date. He should also have asked for your phone number at the end of the date. If a man is really interested, he's not going to waste any time in letting you know that and scheduling to see you again. I would move on. all communication over Snapchat = red flag
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 02:08 AM
5

This is so cute and creative!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 10:45 PM
8

Congrats, that's amazing! I can't wait to own a house of my own someday!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 04:56 PM
90

My mom insists I need a husband to "protect me" but I tell her a husband is more likely to rape or murder me than protect me from rape and murder. Even she can't argue with that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 04:00 AM
3

When men hear you say you want a relationship, they assume that means "she wants a relationship with me" even if that's the furthest thing from the truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 03:55 AM
6

Good work, girl! Next time, you don't have to say a single word - just block. Don't give a guy a reason to think you still care (any response makes them think you still care) or ammunition to tell others you're "crazy".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 10:26 PM
13

Thank you all for your hard work!! <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 06:15 AM
2

Um....what?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 05:53 AM
2

This crossed my mind...her behavior doesn't sound normal, even for a pickme. My friends never bring up my exes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 03:40 AM
8

He sounds insane. Going forward don't argue with someone you don't even know, just block and delete. Protect your peace.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 03:25 AM
16

"you got me at desperate" He knows only the most desperate women would take their chances with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 02:50 AM
24

Ugh. So gross and unprofessional.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 02:01 AM
17

Just another LARPer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 03:26 AM
15

If you think you might falter and text him, yes, uninstall it. Or you can just delete him as a contact. Moving on isn't linear; don't expect to be over him all at once. You're right, you don't need him (even when you feel like you do). Allow yourself to work through your feelings, but don't dwell too much - fill your time hobbies and things that bring you joy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 07:41 AM
8

I hate it when men curse unnecessarily, it's so aggressive and disrespectful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 11:53 PM
13

Within 24 hours at most. Ideally he should text you right after to make sure you made it home safely (if at night), or by the end of the day if your date was in the daytime. 2 weeks is way too long, drop him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 07:47 AM
49

If you don't get married and don't have babies - stigma. We're damned if we do and damned if we don't, as with all things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 01:45 AM
16

Love that we have two pedophiles and rapists to choose between.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 01:30 AM
46

This. They should think you've lived a charmed life and no one has ever mistreated you. Yes, really. Keep your negative experiences under wraps.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 08:08 PM
12

It's ok, lesson learned, finally. We know better now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 05:19 AM
11

Depends on the context - if you barely know him or have just started dating, I'd play the dumb fox and be like "Hm why do you want to know?" "I think it's a little strange you're asking me that, no one ever asks me that" Whatever answer you give him, he will probably make leaps and assumptions about your sexual history, naivete, and manipulability. If you're deeper into a relationship, then I think it can be ok, just don't reveal anything negative. E.g. if your ex was abusive, or you've been lea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 11:50 PM
7

I'd play even dumber. "I can't believe you think I'd ever kill someone! Why, have you?!" And then ghost.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 07:17 PM
166

That marriage primarily benefits men and makes women's lives harder. I look around at all the marriages in my family and social circle, and it seems so obvious now - especially when children come along. If I were the wife in any of those marriages, I would be so miserable. I used to imagine being married to my ex when we were together, and I found myself wondering "is that all I have to look forward to??" Still, I convinced myself that was what I wanted. I can't believe I ever thought that a man…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 07:10 PM
8

I personally do care as well, I don't want to be with someone who's slept around a ton. In my experience though, men I've dated offered that information voluntarily at some point without my asking and without his asking me. I would be turned off if a man asked me. edit: changed 'something' to 'someone'
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 07:01 PM
20

I don't disagree with anything in the handbook, but I do see posts and comments here I don't love, mostly from very new users who are still in the early phases of FDS (e.g. explicitly stating her standards, coming up with burns instead of blocking/deleting, etc.). Those women are always called out, though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 06:58 PM
11

Yeah...even my LV exes had more decency than to ask that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 06:53 PM
3

This. Immediately asking for your snapchat = unequivocal LVM. Why can't he "get to know you" by talking to you? Because he doesn't want to. He wants nudes. Don't waste your time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 05:32 AM
17

Ugh. I'm so sorry he did that to you. I hope you can get his IP address and press charges.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 09:13 PM
7

I pretend they're not even there - Whoops, didn't see you, can't hear you. Are you a ghost? Do you even exist? You're so insignificant you didn't even register in my consciousness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 10:11 PM
46

Definitely never feel like you have to share something in return when someone shared unsolicited "vulnerable information". They will gossip, lie about you, and ruin your reputation just for fun.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 10:06 PM
148

Can I give you some unsolicited advice? Do not discuss your own relationship/dating history with a male coworker (any coworker, actually). You cannot trust them, as evidenced by this cheating scrote lying about his ex-wife.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 09:34 PM
19

I definitely thought this was a man, like what woman in her right mind???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 06:03 PM
54

Please be very careful showing your face on here. I would not risk it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 06:02 PM
37

Yep he still wants her to plan it...no thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 05:00 AM
52

Please tell me this is satire
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 02:04 AM
25

Porn sick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 10:45 PM
12

He's not your friend. I would not maintain any kind of contact with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 10:39 PM
65

I think you're right. But also "watching a movie in a confined space is a terrible idea" He already shot himself in the foot in the first 2 sentences :) Getting dinner on a patio is sooo much more risky than inviting someone into your confined space. These men don't use their heads.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 09:12 PM
6

I'm brown too but haven't found anything specifically for us. I do really like Isabel Palacios on youtube though. I feel her content is very universal. Will be following to see what others say!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 08:54 PM
177

What was he even trying to do, see if she would say yes just for a quick ego boost? Tell your sister to stop wasting her time and words - block and delete asap!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 08:41 PM
15

and didn't make it past 3rd grade as evidenced by his spelling and grammar
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 05:03 PM
25

that's gonna be a "kno" from me and any woman with a shred of sanity
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 05:02 PM
45

I want to cry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 03:59 AM
7

It means he doesn't want a relationship with you. He does want to be able to use you for whatever he can milk from you i.e. free therapy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 01:20 AM
51

I'm sure he has 0 skeletons in his closet and a squeaky clean past. One only has to search his browsing history...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 04:11 AM
13

Don't respond. If he wanted to, he would've responded in a reasonable time, he would've asked for your number and texted you himself. He wants you to do the work for him. Not worth a response at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 12:13 AM
2

Why be in such a hurry? There's plenty of time to get physical after you've vetted him for a while and decided he's a good prospect. I'm used to taking things very slowly but have not been great at doing so in a flirty way, so I learned a lot from that post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 07:35 PM
6

Too early. I love this post https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/didcuy/the_art_of_the_tease_mastering_sexual_tension/ as a guideline.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 06:40 AM
1

Thank you! I'll check it out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 06:23 AM
42

Pickmes: you're prostituting yourself if you don't have sex on the first date. Also pickmes: Sex work is work! Sex work is empowering and respectable! "Prostitute" is an archaic term! Which is it, girls?? ​ These women perform extreme mental gymnastics to shame other women who make different choices regarding their bodies, because our choices make them feel insecure and inadequate. They see a woman with high standards and strong boundaries and wonder how she gets male attention without giving aw…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 06:55 PM
3

In hindsight, that's probably because they were hoping I follow the 3-date rule or whatever, and they were trying to expediate the process of getting me into bed after allowing me a handful of low-effort dates to 'preserve my dignity'. 🙄 That was probably it. At 3-4 dates he should be trying to get to know you, not trying to suss out how "easy" you'll be based on your history.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 06:02 PM
10

Those men sound LV as hell. I personally think it could be a good filter. If he fetishes your "innocence" or starts treating you like you're a naive pickme, you have your answer - he's a manipulative creep who doesn't respect you. Now, I do wonder how soon these men are bringing up the topic of dating/sexual history? It's a personal topic to share with someone you don't know well. I don't see why it would come up in the early dating phase unless they were strategically trying to feel you out and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 05:32 AM
19

Because they love violence against women. They hate women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 05:24 AM
13

Interesting read, confirms what I already know. Too bad these sad, sad men have such empty lives the only thing that brings meaning to them is feeling a sense of control over women. Oh well. Many women are wise to their antics and don't allow weak men to control them, and other women are waking up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 05:19 AM
4

Does he have trust issues or is he just a fuckboy? If he really does have trust issues, that's not your problem, it's his. He should see a therapist. But it sounds like he's just trying to manipulate you into sleeping with him. Block and delete, then go read the Handbook.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 04:58 AM
14

He clearly has something to hide. It's a huge red flag and I don't see any reason that you should trust him when his behavior indicates untrustworthiness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 04:20 AM
70

Absolutely useless. Terrible communication skills and acts like a helpless child!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 03:40 AM
12

"Google it".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 07:58 PM
34

They don't even know that it's her choice, but they conveniently pretend they do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 07:57 PM
36

So true - then it's the worst thing ever!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 05:44 AM
118

Apparently women having any kind of boundaries about their body = prostitution. Make that make sense???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 05:42 AM
8

This is pure gold! I really like the idea of phrasing everything in the positive so you can focus on those with the positive traits and bypass those with the negative. I have a list of dealbreakers and a list of dealmakers but I'm going to work on consolidating them into a list of only dealmakers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 04:02 AM
26

8-12 hours a day?! Watching porn was his full time job.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 07:26 PM
6

I have to say it - YAS QUEEN! That went in a much better direction than I expected starting out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 07:23 PM
23

Nothing worth having comes easily.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 08:57 PM
1

I would not bother with Bumble honestly. Personally, I don't bother with any of them!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 08:50 PM
4

Down with Office lines! I have nothing against the show but one gets sick of seeing the same 3 quotes everywhere.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 05:17 PM
38

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take - wayne gretzky" - Michael Scott"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 06:06 AM
73

Yes! I'm not going to keep a guy from going to a strip club. I'm going to think he's disgusting and dump.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 05:58 AM
9

Every day, I find myself surprised by the depths of male depravity. Just when I think it can't get worse, it does.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 01:34 AM
40

Would you say that your best friend's HVM dad showed green flags before the cancer? If so, what were they?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 01:33 AM
21

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FrLequ6dUdM I listen to this song about once a day
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 01:13 AM
70

It's so sad. How does one realize this...and think it's funny and cute, and not break up with him??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 10:56 PM
8

A slave. They mean a slave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 06:59 PM
1

We're so proud of you!! It might be hard at first, but your life will be 1000x better. Go out there and do great things <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 04:30 AM
45

Even dads shouldn't have dad bods. They didn't grow humans inside their bodies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 08:27 PM
12

These dudes really think women choosing not to date or sleep with them is dehumanizing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 06:46 PM
5

-
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 03:54 AM
25

What would you get out of confronting him? Other than lies and excuses? There's nothing wrong with ghosting. You don't owe courtesy to someone who's clearly disrespecting you and your time. But you don't have to ghost if you don't want to. You can just say "this isn't working for me, wish you the best" and peace out (i.e. no explaining, block and delete if he won't let it go).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 02:17 AM
34

He sounds extremely LV. He's just waiting for the moment one of his "friends" has a lapse in judgment and sleeps with him. If a man isn't friends with other men or with women he isn't attracted to, that's a red flag to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 02:41 AM
27

Queen, make sure to read the handbook for the valuable advice there: you cannot deem a man HV at the three month mark. This.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 02:29 AM
16

I mean, how do you feel about it? That's up to you. edit: If it does happen to be a dealbreaker for you for whatever reason, that's fine. Plenty of men will think less of a woman for having had work done, so no need to feel bad if it is a problem for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 01:50 AM
9

Yep, someone just changed it back!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 01:21 AM
1

If he's not interested enough to start the chat first with something worth replying to, there is no point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 01:17 AM
7

Why was I demoted from FDS Apprentice to FDS Newbie?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 12:41 AM
2

read the handbook
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 12:52 AM
14

Just move on. He easily could've set up a different time to talk on the phone, but he chose not to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 03:29 AM
6

Focus on what's important - improving your mental health and your life. Dating is not important right now, it will only drain your time, energy, and self esteem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 02:26 PM
2

Sounds like he's doing damage control. "No, I didn't mean what I said, I actually meant..." "didn't want someone who expects me to get on one knee anytime soon" = "if you're lucky, you'll be a forever girlfriend" I would let him go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 01:24 AM
56

I was going to say: I think you need to work on not getting emotionally attached / not getting your hopes up about a man so soon. Then I looked at your post history, and I think you have a lot more work to do. As in, avoid dating for the time being, distance yourself (if you can atm) from toxic family members, and work on loving yourself and building yourself up. These things need to come before you get involved with a man, or you won't be able to date with a clear, healthy mindset. r/FemaleLeve…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 01:00 AM
90

Like with any man, at the first sign of impropriety, ghost him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 12:55 AM
4

Sounds like an ad, doesn’t it? I doubt it’s even a woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 11:03 PM
13

Lol "Marxist feminist" he has no clue what that term means but wants to lecture and gaslight you about it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 05:33 PM
30

And tricking naive women into trusting them so they can get laid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 05:30 PM
69

Yep, just like every man I've met who makes a show and dance about how he respects women quickly reveals that he does not. Whatever they say, it's usually the opposite.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 04:12 PM
68

I can see this, considering they're doing it already.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 09:46 PM
51

Ok but what is he even saying in the beginning? Like is he having a stroke? That's how much sense his words make.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 04:07 AM
5

I need to do this more often!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 10:44 PM
35

A woman will never be safe allowing a strange man access to/control of her body. Sex work is dangerous even in countries where it's legal, and even if she works for herself. This was an enlightening listen https://www.feministcurrent.com/2020/04/13/podcast-michelle-mara-on-the-truth-about-the-decriminalized-sex-trade-in-new-zealand/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 04:34 AM
22

The way this is written sounds fake, but the premise doesn't surprise me...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 04:24 AM
23

So true. If he really is that clueless, why take on the responsibility of teaching him how to be a respectable person? I'm not going to build a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 11:04 PM
35

Yes! We're taught to consider everyone else before ourselves, but we certainly don't owe any kind of consideration to someone who disrespects us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 10:36 PM
54

She sounds like she's on the verge of tears...but she's still defending him. I feel some compassion for her, but why would anyone marry and reproduce with a willingly unemployed, already-deadbeat dad? How much do you have to hate yourself? Why would you do that to your children? I cannot comprehend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 09:12 PM
164

"Women aren't funny" actually means "women's jokes hurt my feefees and my fragile ego can't handle it"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 08:57 PM
3

What an awful excuse for a human being. Are you working on a plan to get out?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 08:52 PM
235

"Look, a woman who is confident and content, I must attempt to make her feel bad with an inane comment"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 03:04 AM
5

I'm happy for you! Your place looks so peaceful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 10:50 PM
2

Lol!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 03:24 PM
1

Ooh, I like being able to shame them without having to say a single word. I may try this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 03:21 PM
6

Ugh, what a drama queen. You did good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 03:13 AM
9

That guy needs to go to prison. If he does that in public, I wonder what he does when he knows there are no witnesses. If a man is friends with someone he feels the need to warn you about, why is he friends with him? Because he's trash too. Even if he's not doing it, he's condoning it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 06:32 PM
9

Love this. If he's making inappropriate comments, play the dumb fox and make him squirm. Especially if other people are around - men only respond to shame.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 06:26 PM
3

Right? It's so easy to keep your mouth shut and/or talk about more appropriate things. I like this response! If this doesn't shut them down, nothing will.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 06:23 PM
5

Oh absolutely, it turns me right off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 05:25 PM
27

Instead of coffee, I would try to screen them with a brief video call. It saves you time and effort, and accomplishes the same purpose. And if he can't be arsed to Facetime with you prior to going on a real date, then you know what his intention was with that coffee.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 12:44 AM
15

This looks like Hinge. Best to wait to see who not just likes you first, but messages you first. The others are irrelevant, don't even bother liking/messaging men first. You want to screen for those who are interested enough to put in the minimum effort of crafting a first message.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 05:42 PM
311

Men: “you have to perform femininity to a T to be a valuable as a woman” Women: perform femininity to a T Men: “you’re stupid and vain” Basically, you can never win, so do whatever you want - and whatever benefits you. She looks bomb.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 05:58 AM
102

This has to be satire, right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 04:15 AM
20

No mixed feelings, it's straight up trash.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 08:33 PM
1

Based advice. Thank you for this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 08:00 PM
75

She looks like an insta model and he looks like...every other dude I see when I run errands. I hope she sees this and dumps him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 06:56 PM
35

I think a bikini picture at the beach is fine if it's not overtly sexy (e.g. posing). I personally wouldn't post it and risk a man saving that picture for whatever his purposes are, but I don't think it's un-classy. Anything in underwear or anything intended to be sexy, on the other hand, is...try hard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 03:48 AM
72

He a bird. A literal bird.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 03:37 AM
19

Hello sister! Everything you said resonates with me, now more than ever. The way I see it, it comes down to living in a way that benefits you. You don't have to make things "fair" for a man, and you don't have to take huge risks for little to no reward. You don't have to worry about pleasing anyone but yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 03:18 AM
55

So true. How sad is it that I actually thought "well, at least it doesn't turn him on"?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 02:52 AM
17

Whether you verbally end it or ghost, I would not mention what he said. You could just say something brief and vague like "I don't think this will work out, I wish you the best". But ghosting is fine too. When you tell a man the mistake he made, you basically give him free dating advice at the expense of other women - i.e. "hide this ugly part of yourself to dupe the next woman". You don't owe him that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 03:00 PM
71

It sounds like a neg to me. He could have easily answered that question in a way that didn't involve comparing women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 12:15 AM
366

If they ban r/FemaleDatingStrategy, I'll delete my account and stop using Reddit. I'll miss you ladies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 10:24 PM
13

I don't get why women post things like this about their boyfriend/husband like it's supposed to be funny and cute? It's just gross. I hope she didn't send it to him but...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 08:54 PM
104

Exactly. It's great that they're not contributing to an abusive industry, but motives matter. I don't want a man that doesn't watch porn because "muh dick", I want one that doesn't watch porn because he has empathy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 08:14 PM
25

So...exactly what all men do? Why shouldn't we pursue hypergamy? If I'm going to risk my health, my life, my body, my career to marry a man and give birth to and raise his children, he better be well worth my sacrifices.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 07:37 PM
10

You got it! It’s a lovely community.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 07:59 AM
22

Found in my favorite style sub! It gives me hope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 05:00 AM
9

It really is that simple.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 01:40 AM
16

Wow. I am so impressed with how you handled this. I'm glad you were able to find closure in your own way - and dodge that bullet!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 11:53 PM
18

Damn, this is handbook worthy. Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/20 03:58 PM
14

Wow I love this, thank you!! It's beautiful to look at, too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/20 04:29 AM
87

I can't imagine ever living with a man, it seems like a nightmare.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 11:05 PM
6

Lmao. Calling a woman "bitter and lonely" because she doesn't accept a date with you is like calling a woman "wh0re" because she won't have sex with you. Shows their misogyny and stupidity all at once!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 09:39 PM
9

The audacity. I guess I should count myself lucky no one has any idea what my profession is about and I have to constantly explain it. No room for mansplaining!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 09:16 PM
26

Wow. Imagine being married to man who's sexually obsessed with a child. Time for a divorce.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 08:43 PM
9

You’re right. He has little empathy for his own girlfriend. He sees the women in porn as just virtual sex dolls. Why would he care about their welfare when he won’t even see them as human? Posts like these are supposed to give us hope for finding a man that doesn’t watch porn. But they make me lose hope for finding a man that has even half the empathy of a woman, that treats all women with respect, that doesn’t reduce them to their bodies or the sex acts they engage in. I don’t think men like th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 04:36 PM
29

This is the sweetest!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 03:50 AM
23

I think that's great for him. But I do wish men would think beyond their own dick and stand against porn for reasons like exploitation and abuse of women, possibility of rape or coercion, etc. It rarely seems to cross their minds, and when it does, they don't seem to care.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 03:15 AM
19

Bye, evolutionary reject.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 09:13 PM
7

A relationship doesn't have to be terrible for it to not be right for you. A man doesn't have to treat you terribly for him to not be right for you. High value people confront issues directly, they don't ignore problems hoping they go away, and make the same mistake over and over again. They listen to their partner's concerns and make the necessary changes if they really value their partner. It sounds like he is not willing to change.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 08:06 PM
4

I am one of those women too - I understand where you’re coming from. I was trying to riff on the original joke to comment on the prevalence of pedophilia, not on women with small chests or the men who are attracted to them. I did not at all mean to imply that men who are attracted to women with small chests are pedophilic because of that. The way I phrased it was insensitive. You’re right, those are all traits that occur naturally in fully grown women. At the same time, consider that in the “tee…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 05:04 PM
25

No, it's not normal. Drop him. "BUT I do get this gut feeling around him sometimes. I'm not sure if it's anxiety or if I'm actually picking up on something." Your instincts and intuition will almost never fail you. Please listen to them!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 03:53 AM
5

It sounds like this relationship isn't working for you. It also sounds like you need to take the time to figure out what you really want out of a relationship. Does marriage in general feel like a trap or does marriage to him feel like a trap?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 03:26 AM
68

Research even supports that men overestimate their attractiveness! They aren't bombarded with the message that their looks aren't good enough from age 5, like women are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 03:18 AM
68

Exactly! There's no excuse for having a dadbod, even as a dad. It's just laziness and lack of self control. In my pickme days I posted on one of the rate me subs. Several men told me I should lose 10-15 lbs. I was slim and weighed less than 100 lbs (still do). Nothing is ever good enough for them, while they sit behind their computer resting their cheeto bag on their chubby belly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 03:15 AM
23

I mean, not even the tits, because so many of them are pedophiles.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 03:08 AM
37

"I'm not the only woman to have internalized the belief that my orgasms are superfluous or too much work. But the truth is, we're not asking for anything more than what many men simply expect. Orgasming with a partner may take some effort at first, particularly if you're anxious about it to begin with, but any worthwhile partner will meet you where you're at and help you work through that—over time, I’ve found it gets much easier. " I hope at least some dickmeisha reads this conclusion, realizes…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 02:59 AM
133

"he's trying his best" I would say true, if he was your 6-year-old son. A grown man who does this is stupid af or cheap af (probably both).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 02:54 AM
52

How come men don't advocate for male rape victims at any other time than when a discussion of female rape victims is underway? Oh right, because the only purpose of bringing it up is to derail the conversation and invalidate women. Males are pretty much only raped by other men. But somehow it's women's responsibility to discuss and advocate for male rape victims? When men do absolutely nothing for female rape victims other than retraumatize them and abuse them further?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 02:51 AM
35

We don't give men the benefit of the doubt. That's how you get played.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 02:28 AM
41

the bar is in hell
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 08:45 PM
151

Unconventionally attractive for a woman = beautiful but not surgically altered and facetuned to perfection. Unconventionally attractive for a man = ugly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 08:42 PM
297

They're also not special for not being ugly. Like...stop acting like you're some greek god who deserves a victoria's secret model when you're a 6 on a good day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 08:30 PM
37

and we're the golddiggers 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 08:26 PM
3

Seems unwise and potentially very messy. I wouldn't do it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 05:21 PM
49

Move out and end it. He’s controlling you, which is clearly his intention because he sought out a woman over a decade younger than him. And he’s using his cheating “trauma” as justification - that’s very manipulative. This isn’t something you can fix. A good man will support your dreams and goals. You will regret it if you let this man hold you back. Don’t allow him to ruin your life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 03:18 PM
58

Block him for your own mental clarity and emotional well-being. If you feel the need to keep him on social media to “show him what he lost”, that means he still has a hold on you, he’s still taking up space in your mind. Which is ok because it takes time to completely move on, it’s a process. But blocking him is the first step in moving on and focusing on YOU - you don’t need his validation, his regret, or his presence. Prove to yourself that you don’t.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 03:11 PM
9

If you want to preclude the possibility of fatherhood, get a vasectomy, or don't have sex. That's all. Men can have voluntary fatherhood when they start carrying fetuses in their uteruses, go through child birth, and deal with the lifelong consequences on their bodies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 11:25 PM
10

Putting aside the ethical issues with porn for a moment... There's nothing more pathetic than a man who jerks off while watching other men have sex with women he knows he could never get. The thought fills me with disgust, amusement, and a teeny tiny bit of pity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 11:05 PM
31

Men really make an amazing case to never have sex with them, ever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 10:59 PM
3

Oh I read the rules and didn't notice that so I assumed it must have been targeted. I must have skimmed over it. They definitely need to be more explicit about that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 11:38 PM
1

Thanks!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 04:05 AM
7

Everyone here has great advice and I'll add - the more I learn how depraved men are, and how depraved the men who have followed me are (e.g. guy with a girlfriend follows and "likes" BDSM soft porn IG models), the more I cull my followers/following. They'll do creepy shit with your pictures if they want to, i.e. deepfake porn. My follower list is now pretty much only women and gay men, with a few straight male friends I've lost touch with since college but trust.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 04:03 AM
71

I had a feeling they weren't but didn't know for sure. That's extra fucked up. I hope they find out and find a way to sue.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 03:03 AM
12

This post is gold.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 04:21 PM
9

Can I sign if I’m not a resident of the UK?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 03:40 PM
15

You totally did the right thing. I’m glad you listened to your intuition! Always trust it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 03:33 PM
2

The thing about fake products made at the same factory is crazy...how do we know if anything is real?? Oh yeah it definitely sounds more difficult with Japanese/other foreign products. If you've been using it for years and it's always the same and continues to work for you, you must be getting real ones! I tend to switch products a lot as I'm still trying to figure out what works for my skin, so when I'm ordering something for the first time I don't have anything to compare it to to make sure it…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 04:17 AM
5

I'd never even considered fake products at store websites, but I just googled it and there was a case of fake MAC products at Target in Australia...that is scary. I think the risks are much higher through third party sellers like those on Amazon though. One of the products I use can't be found anywhere but Amazon (ie not at Ulta, Target, Sephora) and the brand itself so I just buy straight from the brand.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 03:50 AM
64

GOLD comment: "Ladies you get to decide who you have kids by PLEASE choose wisely"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 03:20 AM
6

I'd caution you from buying skincare on Amazon, I've heard fake products are really common. I always buy directly from a store even if I have to pay a little extra.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 03:05 AM
6

I think most of them don't even moisturize... Seriously, I have female friends starting retinol at 22 to keep their skin young and beautiful, and these guys won't even bother with sunscreen. It definitely starts to show by late 20s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 03:01 AM
3

Totally agree. Thank you this - I needed a reminder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 02:44 AM
126

Excuses, excuses. My responses for the male lurkers: - holding men to the same standard you hold yourself is SO shallow, right?? - that's not how the sun works. - Lol no, women don't like older men. Tell them a million times but they won't listen. If you didn't look as attractive as young George Clooney when you were young AND you don't take care of yourself, I hate to break it to you... - so buy a sunscreen that doesn't contain toxic chemicals? - I pay $35 for my sunscreen and it's well worth t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 09:40 PM
42

This explains why most of the 28 year olds where I live look at least 35...no thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 09:29 PM
17

What we really need is more women in power at all levels of society - government, military, police, corporations, etc. Women who prioritize the rights, safety, and advancement of other women. Fighting and raising our voices is futile when the men in power choose not to listen because our demands contradict their interests.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 09:13 PM
27

A world built by and for men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 08:07 PM
42

They don’t care about women’s lives. We need more women in the police force.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 06:42 PM
104

That old bs argument that women like older men (lol) and men like young beautiful women. Sure, whatever. It's mostly one-sided. I'm in my twenties. I am repulsed by the thought of dating a man 10 years my senior. My friends would side eye me and my family would throw a fit if I decided to be with someone that much older. Because guess what? Those young women you're obsessed with can do better and everyone knows it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 06:04 AM
7

Thank you for typing this up!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 03:58 AM
50

Ugh. I have no words. The legal system in this country (and all, I'm sure) just doesn't care about women or girls or even children in general. Always protecting the interests of vile men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 02:32 AM
40

For crossposting! I don't know if they do that for every sub or just "controversial" ones like FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 02:29 AM
13

Wow. My heart breaks for her. I can't imagine going through all that and then having to stay with such an evil man to be able to keep her daughter. I hope she's successful in divorcing him and getting full custody, when she decides it's time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 02:28 AM
109

In case anyone wants to study up on some red flags 🚩 Edit: just got my first ban y’all! 🤦🏾‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 01:10 AM
10

As in the site has been taken down? I reported it but didn't click the link because I just couldn't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 11:02 PM
2

Is his masculinity so fragile he's afraid of turning into a woman because he has makeup in the house? Or was he cheating on you? OR BOTH?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 10:38 PM
3

Solo travel is the best! I love having full control of my plans when I only have a limited time in a place. The trip you planned sounds so lovely. He thinks it's weird that you're not a pickme putting your life on hold for him. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 10:34 PM
12

u/ThrowRA_WorriedFutur Wake up. He's going to get one of his friends or some other guy to rape you. Get out before that happens. There's no talking sense into him, he doesn't even see you or any other woman as human.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 10:14 PM
7

I HATE that every time a woman posts about her evil husband's or boyfriend's pedophilia/rape/insert deviant kink, she has to preface it with "I’m not a prude by any means!!" As if she has to prove how "sexually adventurous" she is to justify her perfectly reasonable disgust and hurt at the man's behavior. As if other people get to decide what is ok and what is not ok and her feelings and boundaries mean nothing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 07:18 PM
1

True, and I think I know how to vet hard enough to avoid them. But most of the time it's not even about your looks, it's about the prestige of having a white woman on his arm.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 06:58 PM
8

I would like to believe that, but I don't know. I think men are good at keeping their masks on in public. The first time I ever even heard of choking during sex was when a friend gossiped to me about her friend who hooked up with a guy who choked her without even asking first. That was a few years ago. We were just college kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 05:43 PM
46

No, domination is not normal. It's abnormal. Common does not = normal. If a man did that to me I'd knee him in the testicles and run.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 06:54 AM
14

Not only that, they are stupid enough / think I'm stupid enough that a low effort compliment will make me like them. Nah. It's insulting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 03:19 AM
17

"ur gay" I wish!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 02:57 AM
9

Read the handbook and the wiki! You can also find examples of red flags by filtering for the flair "Red Flag" and examples of green flags by filtering for "How To High Value".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 02:53 AM
17

I completely filter out the guys who mention my appearance. Just ignore or unmatch. They should have something more interesting to say than "you're beautiful" like how is that an acceptable way to start a conversation??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 02:51 AM
9

Another day, another black man throwing black women under the bus. While they're out there fighting for his rights.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 09:46 PM
2

The lack of self awareness is hilarious. He doesn't realize that he's outing himself as damaged goods with mental issues. He looks like he spent a decade of his life binge drinking. No 20-something year old woman with a shred of self respect would even touch him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 09:30 PM
1

I just threw up in my mouth for the second time today on FDS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 09:14 PM
3

Oh I'm sure he was slowly and surreptitiously beating down her self esteem from day 1, that's how she got in this situation and STILL doesn't believe she needs to leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 09:12 PM
8

so disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 09:05 PM
3

just threw up in my mouth a little bit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 09:01 PM
36

"Boys are taught they can't make fun of or hit girls" yet...so many of them do from adolescence into old age. OH WOE IS ME I'M OPPRESSED BECAUSE I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO ABUSE WOMEN!! (EVEN THOUGH I STILL DO AND GET AWAY WITH IT 99% OF THE TIME)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 08:54 PM
5

Men are evil.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 03:02 PM
15

Exactly. Next time, if someone asks you to be his girlfriend or to be official (note those things imply exclusivity!) and you're not sure yet, you don't have to say yes. You can just say you want to take more time to get to know him. And you should be seeing him for around 3 months *in person* regularly before you agree to be exclusive - like another person said, the mask starts to slip around 90 days and you begin to see who he really is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 04:43 AM
14

I don't know, that's up to him and you. You've been talking for a month, he hasn't met you yet and wants to be your boyfriend, AND he's already buying you things? That sounds like way too much way too fast. If I were you, my alarms would be sounding. I don't know the details of your situation, but to me it sounds like lovebombing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 04:40 AM
5

He wants easy, no effort sex. Girl, don't do it. Block him because nothing good will come from this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 04:30 AM
67

1001 red flags
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 04:27 AM
18

Ugh. I'm sorry he did that to you, that's repulsive. How far is the area code from yours? I wonder if it's someone you know who desperately wanted to show you his dick with an alternate number. If not, just an indiscriminate sexual harasser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 04:20 AM
54

You agreed to be his girlfriend when you've never met him? No no no. That's a bad idea and you're right to feel it's too early to be exclusive. Being someone's girlfriend means you are exclusive, pretty much everyone agrees on that. Don't use dating apps secretly, that is cheating. You need to tell him you reconsidered and changed your mind. Most likely he won't want to go backwards to be non-exclusive, the relationship will end, but that's no great loss since you barely know this guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 04:16 AM
20

Good point...they know what they're about to do/say is sexual harassment. They want your permission so they can absolve themselves. "Well, you said I could ask you a question!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 08:10 PM
15

Can you report him and hopefully get him banned?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 08:08 PM
10

He has a type and you're not his type. He will probably always be dissatisfied with your looks if you're not his type, and probably value you less as a result. It's a sad truth. If all his exes look different from each other, that's not a red flag, but if they all look similar but different from you, it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 04:47 PM
5

I just realized I'm shadowbanned in r/PinkpillFeminism. Because I'm an FDSer?? I can't think of any other reason. I tried to post there once and it didn't show up, and my rare comments don't show up either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 07:34 AM
34

"I wish I had the courage to do something like that" = "bless your heart, oh honey, no"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 03:38 AM
45

I am so sorry you've had to go through that alone. Men really show their true colors in your time of need. I know it must be incredibly difficult to find yourself alone when you're so physically vulnerable and were counting on him to be there to help you. The hidden blessing in this is you know now, at 3 months, that this man is actually a callous, selfish baby that you can't trust or depend on. Imagine discovering this several years into a relationship, after marriage, when you're pregnant with…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 09:56 PM
3

My story is quite different, in that my spirituality has had a chance to blossom now that my ex is out of my life. I wasn't religious or spiritual at the time that I was with my ex, but I owned a deck of tarot cards that I used quite rarely. Every time he noticed it, or tarot came up in conversation, he would mock me about it. He was so 'rational' and only believed in science - as if science is at odds with spirituality (it is not). Since then, I've been becoming more spiritual. I do tarot much …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 09:44 PM
13

100% agree. You don't want to ghost? Live your life however you want; go ahead and give him an explanation. But don't act like other women ghosting to preserve their sanity and safety means they're not HV.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 09:24 PM
2

I get it because I'm like that too, but....I want someone who will kill or capture and release the bugs for me so I don't have to do it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 05:33 AM
49

They just can't stop thinking about other men's dicks. I'm in my mid twenties and I think nearly half my female friends are virgins. Hardly any of them are particularly religious either, they've just had other priorities than men and never did the "casual" thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 06:10 AM
78

That's what I thought - slightly more believable than the old "I found my girlfriend on FDS so I dumped her" stories, but still fake.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 05:51 AM
64

I don't even want to think about what he'll do if/when she tries to leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 05:47 AM
54

Men who complain about "gold diggers" know they don't have anything to offer that could interest women other than money (though they usually don't even have that)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 11:50 PM
6

I feel like I've changed friends every 2-3 years! While maintaining some closer friendships, others have faded away with time and distance. I guess that just comes with moving around for school and work in early adulthood. I'm coming up on another major life change and move soon. I'll have to say goodbye to people I love and am not quite ready to let go of, and I've been feeling quite anxious about it, so that's contributing to my fears about my life and future. I'm nervous that it will only get…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 07:29 PM
7

We don't need men to provide for us. We want men who want to provide for us. If he doesn't want to provide, I don't want him, and I can live without.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 06:00 AM
30

Government-sactioned brothels that thrive on forcing women into prostitution by deceiving, kidnapping, and holding them hostage. "Each sex worker in the brothel has to pay daily rent to the madams, who act as a go-between for more than a dozen landlords which own this area of land. When the girls arrive via a broker, often for a sum of around $200-300, they are forced to pay off this debt to the madams." It's literally state-sponsored slavery. I'm shocked this is legal in an Islamic country, bec…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 05:40 AM
26

It sounds like the best thing for you would be to take a break from dating while you work on yourself, on loving yourself and building your self esteem. Also do some introspection to figure out what you want and don't want in dating/a relationship (and don't compromise on this later). If you venture into dating with low self esteem and no boundaries, you get eaten alive. You'll only find yourself in more frustrating situations with men who just want to use you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 05:13 AM
110

The only thing that scares me about not marrying is not not having a man. It's the possibility of feeling alone because all my friends (current and future) have coupled up, settled down, started families, and don't have time to spend with me. I've been grappling with this fear lately as the idea of staying single for life has become more and more appealing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 04:56 AM
61

I am so glad you got out of that relationship but please be careful! This man sounds dangerous. I'm far from an expert on this topic and I don't want to discourage you from filing a restraining order if you feel it's the right choice for your situation, but in Gift of Fear, Gavin de Becker emphasizes how filing a restraining order could be the trigger that puts a man over the edge, and it cannot protect you from someone intent on doing you harm. " In terms of Restraining Orders, one out of five …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 04:48 AM
23

If he's the type to expect something from you, he'll expect it regardless of if he pays the bill, the two of you split it, or you front the whole bill. In fact, letting him pay is a good tactic to weed out LVM only looking for sex. A few to several dates in he's going to start thinking about how he's not getting a return on his "investment"...and either pressure you (red flag) or cut his losses. Let them take themselves out of the running without your having to pay a cent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 03:54 AM
24

Lol just because you say it doesn't make it true
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 02:16 AM
3

Some of them make it clear the only thing they have to offer is money, so...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 02:01 AM
44

Maybe it's real! It was just the pornified language she uses that makes me think it's a man. But yeah, this happens all time. When a man wants to "open" the relationship, he gets no interest from other women, and his wife is out every other night with new men. His ego crumbles and he gets jealous and possessive. Or he wants to try out new kinks but loses interest once the girlfriend starts enjoying it because it's not sexy if she's not uncomfortable/in pain/degraded.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 01:59 AM
2

I can't see the post in the link for some reason, but damn. The absolute shit women are brainwashed into putting up with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 11:30 PM
1

Hahaha only gams! Sounds like vintage 1950s porn
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 11:28 PM
120

Sounds fake but an accurate representation of reality
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 11:06 PM
19

If he feels the need to brag that much on his dating profile, it's because he has nothing to recommend him in person. Red flag #1 (out of 123) - thinks Jay Z and Beyonce are a "power couple" to emulate
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 05:55 PM
72

LMAO my ex needs to see this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 10:45 PM
3

Thank you!! I've just posted it. It's such a gem of advice, one of my favorite things I've read around here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 08:42 PM
6

What kind of fucked up brain even thinks of this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 09:18 PM
9

I LOVE this. I'm working on getting there. PLEASE make this a post so more people can see it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 09:05 PM
29

If he doesn’t ask you out, it’s because he doesn’t want to. Simple as that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 05:14 PM
20

Solid advice. I’ve been with one of those everything-we-do-must-revolve-around-what-I-like kind of men. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 05:11 PM
10

I’m convinced most men are pedophiles. They admit it themselves all the time, but when a woman points it out she’s a mISaNdRisT.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 04:42 PM
28

I’m legitimately afraid for this woman’s life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 04:33 PM
17

I remember one dude who liked me on Hinge. Not only did he have a terrible, fuzzy selfie, he had Facetuned his jaw wider, I could tell by the curve in the doorframe. But really it just made him look chubbier so he played himself. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 04:21 PM
6

Ew.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 06:39 AM
22

Watch out for the initial red flags - he's pursuing you. You're just out of your teens, he's nearly thirty. Whether he has a teen fetish or not (and it sounds likely that he does), he is creepy. Normal men don't try to date much younger women. As you're getting to know someone, pay attention to the shows and movies he consumes, his favorite celebrities, any celebrities/models/IG girls he follows on social media (following IG girls is a red flag in itself too). And pay attention to how he talks a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 06:29 AM
30

I don't think most guys care much about height, short or tall. Dating short women is not in itself an indication of weird fetishes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 06:24 AM
53

He's not interested, like he said. The best thing for you in the long run is to cut contact completely and move on. No trying to be friends, that will just prolong the pain. Also, he doesn't sound like a HVM. Sounds like he was playing around with your feelings because he could, which is a low value thing to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 06:56 AM
1

Did you ask them outright, or how did that conversation come up? I want to know how to weed them out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 06:00 AM
75

LMAO they're so fragile. Tinder is a cesspool anyway, so no great loss.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 05:56 AM
14

He hasn't even seen you naked yet and he's telling you his body hair preferences? Sounds like entitlement to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 05:51 AM
10

Looks like a lovely place...she should kick him out and have it to herself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 05:24 AM
7

I bet she's basking in the validation of those awards from thirsty male redditors that hate women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 05:22 AM
10

Being a pickme is dangerous business. In my worst phase, I got myself into a few situations that had the potential to be dangerous, but thankfully the people involved were not that bad. I've been very naive and very lucky. Like you said, not all women have each other's backs. We have to be very selective about who we allow into our life, male or female, and vet our potential friends like we would a dating prospect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 05:12 AM
9

Ugh. I am so angry on your roommate's behalf. I hope she has found some peace since. I just don't understand how a woman could willingly bring another woman into such a dangerous situation with no empathy and no remorse just for scraps of male approval. They're no better than rapists.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 05:05 AM
5

That is so, so sad. I hope she has come to her senses, but probably hasn't. Good for you for not putting up with that disrespect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 04:59 AM
9

It blows my mind that there are women like this who would serve up their own sisters on a platter to be raped, trafficked, whatever. I don't think I've ever encountered a woman like that. But then you hear all the stories about mothers allowing their daughters to be abused by fathers, step fathers, and relatives. I can't comprehend it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 04:54 AM
3

Great post!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 04:51 AM
27

I thought it was trafficking, too. I read a lot of r/LetsNotMeet and this story would fit right in there. That "I don't trust women" bs is straight up projection - other women shouldn't trust her. Agreed, OP was very clever and very lucky her friend came to her rescue. I can't imagine being so levelheaded in a situation like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 04:49 AM
11

That is so scary, I'm glad you were okay. We just cannot trust these pickmeisha and the dangerous NVM they surround themselves with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 04:45 AM
8

To them, being female = whore. Just goes to show how rotten their brains are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 04:43 AM
67

No man has ever asked me that. I’d be skeeved out if he did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 04:47 PM
5

Nope, I got tired of repeating myself. I’m still friends with these women and find value in these friendships, but I won’t talk about their dating lives with them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 05:25 PM
21

Men hit the wall around 26 where I live...you meet them in person and realize they have a bigger belly and less hair than in their pictures. I've never wanted to date someone younger, but early twenties are the most attractive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 09:07 PM
37

This dude beats and cheats on his girl.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 06:29 PM
3

Agreed. I'm nervous even using 2, though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 10:43 PM
1

Yes, and men aren't tested for HPV. So you have to be careful if you haven't had the gardasil vaccine. Condoms reduce HPV transmission but they don't completely prevent it , so you have to stay on top of getting regular pap smears.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 10:42 PM
5

This is one of my favorites things ever the internet has produced.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 08:09 PM
4

Isn’t that crazy??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 05:45 PM
10

This is so so sad. So sad. I just...have no other words.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 05:33 AM
26

Lol really, she types out a slur and talks about physical abuse but can't type out the word sex? I just don't get it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 05:32 AM
1

YES! If he's a misogynistic pervert, I'm gonna call him a misogynistic pervert. Smh at these hooligans trying to make themselves out as a persecuted group with that LGBTQIAPK nonsense (K for kink).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 05:26 AM
19

Block and delete. You don't owe him an explanation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 12:45 AM
8

Love this! Dollar by Becky G is another FDSish Spanish song that I'm obsessed with - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngJwy17OiAM
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 08:32 PM
3

#liesmentell
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 08:35 PM
67

He was the only one with video on so...the only video on the screen would be him jerking off. And he says he didn't notice. He absolutely did this on purpose and is acting like he had no idea now that the women have taken action.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 07:24 PM
101

Imagine being this sick and selfish to your wife right after she birthed your (gigantic) baby. Thank god she has the sense to leave. I hope she has friends/family to support her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 05:31 AM
5

Wait, what? Why does the women being older mean he can cheat and she has to stay with him?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 05:17 AM
4

They always remove the best movies and shows smh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 05:12 AM
2

Queen!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 05:11 AM
31

Man, that's so sad. She was his free prostitute and pizza delivery girl.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 05:10 AM
16

I really really hope it is!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 09:14 PM
22

I love this film!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 09:12 PM
102

It starts with treating yourself the way you want to be treated. Then refuse to engage with anyone who doesn’t show you at least as much respect and care you show towards yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 08:59 PM
27

That was moving. To hide that pain and shame every day is one thing. To go on the internet and spread pro-sex work propaganda to other women and impressionable girls while intentionally concealing the dark reality of your work is incredibly irresponsible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 06:34 PM
104

Upward mobility? What about all the sex workers that want to leave the industry and no real job will have them? Friends and family that shun them too? Financial security? Few women earn that much. In both countries where it’s not legal and countries where it’s legal, sex workers have little to no access to public assistance programs and safety nets. What world is this lady living in?? Also, why do these handmaidens never talk about the physical danger, emotional trauma, and subsequent addictions…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 04:54 PM
4

Oh my god. I remember doing that when I was a bratty 3-year-old. Does she really want to be his mommy?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 03:19 AM
376

Love this! Note that he didn't put the burden on his wife to teach him - he took responsibility and learned by himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 09:42 PM
14

In contact with exes - red flag. You can wish your ex the best and think of them in a positive light and still not maintain contact. There's no reason to keep ties with a failed relationship, unless you're hoping to get something out of it in the future (sex, emotional support, w/e). His words and actions don't match - red flag. He either is weak and doesn't know what he wants, or he's intentionally manipulating you to make you feel insecure. Take your pick. I would end it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 09:39 PM
4

She said he "supposedly hates" his ex which tells me he has trash talked the ex to OP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 09:35 PM
19

They feel the need to lower your self esteem, and are stupid enough to think that their inane comments will accomplish that. They want to make you feel bad about yourself because they are deeply insecure so it makes them feel better about themselves, or they think it will make you lower your standards to date them, or both. That's not a friend. Don't keep people in your life that choose to tear you down - cut them off unapologetically.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 09:23 PM
16

So...do they realize that what they're suggesting is that men are inherently more antisocial and dangerous? 'Cause they're not wrong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 06:09 AM
44

Hm, sounds like projection...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 03:38 PM
24

BASED.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 06:29 AM
15

Racist scrote with untreated mental illness and a busted face spews his mouth garbage into PPD...no surprise there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 10:31 PM
34

That's a great, low-risk strategy to vet him for boundary-pushing. Also, if he asks for your snapchat within minutes/hours/days you know for sure he's a LVM fishing for nudes. If he asks for your snapchat but NOT your instagram AND facebook, you know he's a LVM fishing for nudes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 10:20 PM
63

r/badwomensanatomy Fragile-egoed trash taking itself out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 10:13 PM
12

Scrotes are triggered.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 07:11 PM
29

I'm so tired of men playing the victim as if women aren't human, don't experience any struggles, and exist to serve them. You had an upbringing that was lacking? Go figure your shit out. It's not anyone else's responsibility.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 06:44 PM
154

Sociopath. Block his ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 06:39 AM
5

I'll date my age to maybe 4 years older. I'm in my mid-twenties. Older men seem to think they can manipulate me (which they can't lol I can see through their bs). I want someone who is on my level and doesn't think he's above me when he's not just because he's older and more established. Plus men just get less attractive from my age on...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 06:17 AM
7

Love this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 06:01 AM
12

No self respecting man would marry a porn star that has slept with 50 dudes. Real tea: No self-respecting woman would marry a man that watches porn. The mental gymnastics these scrotes do to try to demean women and come out looking squeaky clean is hilarious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 06:00 AM
5

Yep. Men are men and the vast majority of them are depraved. Some hide it a little better in real life but all bets are off behind a screen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 03:17 AM
8

Oh I know! I just thought it might actually be useful like FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 02:58 AM
97

Ewww let them jerk off to their hentai and leave us tf alone
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 01:47 AM
6

Nipples are highly sexualized here. If your nipples show through your clothes, men will stare and make lewd comments.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 08:37 PM
24

Time to kick him out of your apartment and your life sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 08:27 PM
65

If a man doesn't care to contribute to the upkeep of the household he LIVES IN, I don't want him. Why would I marry an adult with the life skills of a toddler? The bar is so low.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 08:17 PM
7

I think she does. "It's certainly not the insightful and prophetic sex guide my teenage brain thought it was."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 07:56 PM
47

Is he saying he's gonna steal her house?? 😂 I love how 99% of r/AreTheStraightsOK posts are about shitty men. Accurately reflects reality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 07:52 PM
23

It's an epidemic out here. When I was on OLD I kept seeing men my age that look a decade older. Don't know how to dress, porn-decimated hairline, wrinkles that tell me they've never used sunscreen in their life, beer bellies...shudder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 07:47 PM
4

Yes! I am small and you can't tell if I'm wearing a bra as long as I'm wearing pasties, but pasties aren't that comfortable either. They're itchy. I won't go without though because I know men would stare (as they do when my nipples show through my sports bra and top at the gym) and that makes me so uncomfortable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 07:40 PM
4

I hate bras. Most of mine don't fit right and my supposed real size barely exists. Back when I used to go outside, I wore a comfy underwire-less bra that gives me uniboob half the time, and just pasties the other half. edit: lol who downvoted me? so sorry you're offended by my undergarment habits.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 07:36 PM
73

"My man can cook" Ok...and?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 07:32 PM
14

My cousin never learned to cook so he just ate take out for a decade of his life before he got married.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 07:29 PM
60

They'll jerk off to the most violent, degrading porn and then turn around and think less of a woman for committing the crime of *gasp* having had sex before. The lack of self-awareness...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 07:28 PM
27

Let's start an FDS fundraiser
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 07:25 PM
6

Lol. These men are children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 06:55 PM
7

Teach her the rhyming version! "You get what you get and you don't get upset!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 06:55 PM
2

Good point! High effort, no ego.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 06:47 PM
12

Pretty sure Holland has one of the worst trafficking rates in the world. If you look at statistics, when countries legalize prostitution, sex trafficking shoots up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 05:35 AM
4

Men can never be at fault.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 05:33 AM
27

I thought this was the sweetest thing! A HVM will pay attention to what you like and put that knowledge to use. He'll make your birthday as special as possible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 01:46 AM
3

Definitely. When it involves a man, it is 9 times out of 10 a result of a gross LVM's bad behavior. I do think there's a difference between feeling jealousy and acting on it. I think you can experience feelings of jealousy, but not act on them and not be a pickme, but it definitely comes from insecurity (which all of us experience to varying degrees) and is a sign you need to level up. I used to feel so jealous of other women's looks. As far as I can remember, I don't think I ever treated anothe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 08:11 AM
5

Damn sis! With that heap of fuckery, forgive me, but you must be gorgeous!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 08:01 AM
18

I'm about to go to bed so not going to type everything I want to - I just want to say, looks have nothing to do with being HV. Just take care of yourself and your body, whatever that means to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 07:12 AM
27

Ooh I love this. I’m getting better at forgiving myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 10:01 PM
50

Whoosh. He totally missed the point and I can't even comprehend what he's trying to say.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 03:50 PM
3

I just started it! I'm experiencing so much secondhand embarrassment. I remember being that desperate for male attention at that age, but I'm glad I didn't do anything about it like Devi, haha. I like it but I don't love it, overall. I agree that the narration is not great.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 07:52 PM
18

I once got a message from a guy responding to a question I had in my profile - which was good. But then he ended it by saying "because I read profiles, I'm just like that", like I couldn't have deduced that? Do you really need to boast about it??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 06:25 PM
33

Disgusting. I hope she divorces him swiftly. For once, the comments didn't make me lose all hope for humanity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 12:33 AM
121

God forbid a woman just eats what she wants!! We must mock anything and everything she does!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 07:15 PM
14

Leering is trashy even if he's single. It's a valid reason to dump his ass, if he's not. Men who do that give me the heebie jeebies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 04:34 AM
10

🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 09:52 PM
10

I don't know who she is or what she thinks, but women are conditioned to believe that male jealousy and controlling behavior is "romantic".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 09:51 PM
3

Wouldn't be surprised!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 09:49 PM
6

He 1) was stupid enough to not consider that, 2) didn't care that he was inconveniencing and isolating her, or 3) thought "double whammy!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 09:47 PM
22

Reposted from r/PinkpillFeminism.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 05:00 AM
5

I lurk LetsNotMeet regularly! Reading their stories is really good practice for identifying red flags, both in dating and non-dating situations. That last story...phew. Not to blame her, but she ignored so many red flags. Being naive, giving the benefit of the doubt, and ignoring our instincts puts us in risky situations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 12:00 AM
3

Thanks for sharing your story with us. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Please take care of yourself. <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 10:22 PM
7

As a 25-year-old, EW. I won't even date someone who was born in the previous decade.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 04:45 PM
3

My parents will be part of my life to some degree, with boundaries, and thus part of my future husband's life if I marry. It doesn't seem feasible to completely brush over it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 09:14 PM
18

"something to smash into a million pieces" I just vomited a little
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 05:37 AM
9

I left my parents' house and went out into the world with very low self esteem. I didn't feel comfortable with myself and I didn't even know who I was. I found myself seeking male validation in order "feel ok" with myself. I thought if I was in a relationship, it somehow proved my worth. But that validation means nothing and it gets you nowhere; when they leave, you're left with the same emptiness. I would tell my younger self to focus on becoming the woman she wants to be and work on building t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 10:50 PM
21

Trust your gut, if you find yourself uncomfortable ask yourself why, there is a huge possibility that you unconsciously spotted something that was wrong. Seconding this. Every mistake I've made in my relationships was a result of my doubting my intuition and convincing myself I was overreacting (which is what we're conditioned to do, as women). Trust yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 10:40 PM
1

I've never thought about it like this but I think you're right. My ex rarely complimented me other than occasionally telling me I look "nice" and complimenting my butt. Nothing about my long, curly hair, eyes, or any other beautiful/distinctive features I have. He clearly wasn't wild about anything about me, physical or otherwise. He also criticized distinctive things that I do. And when he talked about other people, he praised qualities that I don't have and criticized their qualities that were…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 10:07 PM
20

99.99% chance it ended for a good reason. Leave it in the past.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 09:52 PM
5

I have been going through the exact same thing. Especially during quarantine, as I've had so much time alone with my thoughts, I've analyzed the relationship a lot and discovered even more red flags that I brushed over before. My anger and resentment towards him have only grown. I don't have any advice, but the ladies who have commented here do! Just wanted let you know you're not alone. <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 08:22 PM
3

Right?? I'm in my mid twenties and the men that are older than me but below 30 are largely unattractive. Receding hairlines, beer bellies, deep wrinkles. I guess they're alcoholics that have never heard of sunscreen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 06:38 PM
3

I don't know, I see some really rough-looking late-twenty-somethings in my area. They just take 0 care of themselves and look a decade older.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 06:34 PM
2

This is pure gold. You should make this a full post - I'm sure many here would benefit from it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 04:15 AM
10

"a large majority of men will try every trick in the book to not wear a condom" They'll even trick you by agreeing to wearing one and then taking it off when you can't see. You hear so many stealthing stories these days...which is straight up a form of rape.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 01:24 AM
15

That's what I love about FDS, and that's why we need to spread the word. I was pretty naive and inexperienced before I found this sub. It has been so invaluable to learn from so many other women's mistakes so I don't have to make any more of my own.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 01:22 AM
28

You're not wrong. I've dated American, British, European - ain't none of em shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 01:23 AM
6

Even B.S. is questionable! "some of y'all ain't never had no real bitch and it shows" = "I'm not like other girls" "he's the only thing that's been getting me through it" = "I need a man" I still listen to it on repeat, though. You're so right, Jhené is the ultimate pickme. Just goes to show you can be so beautiful and so successful and still get messed around by men if you allow it. I.e. Big Sean's degrading lyrics on her song about him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 05:28 PM
18

This is so painfully on target. It took my ex dumping me, when I already knew I should’ve been the one dumping him, to let go. I felt humiliated. So I fully let go, no remnants of him left in my life. My pride kept me strong and saw me through even when I felt so weak, afraid, worthless, and alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 08:56 AM
17

I've been listening to Jhene Aiko's new album nonstop the past few days. Man, I love her music and she's an amazing lyricist, but some of her songs are pickmeisha af. I need to stop!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 07:08 AM
6

Haha someone did!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 06:52 AM
83

If I had a gold, I'd give it to you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 09:29 PM
52

Ew. But why'd you even reply? Block and delete at the first red flag, no need to tell him why.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 09:10 PM
26

@ the girls risking their health, fines, and dignity to get dicked down during COVID
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 01:05 AM
34

Doesn't sound like you've known him long - you don't know if he's HV yet. If you're having doubts about attraction already, don't waste your time or his. Don't fall into a scarcity mindset and use that as an excuse to settle. So what if you don't find another one? You'll be fine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 12:34 AM
4

You drop that person if you haven't already, learn from your mistakes, and keep yourself from making them again. It's his job to impress you and prove his value to you, not the other way around. You can reciprocate to some degree after he's demonstrated his investment and commitment to you, but not before. And never give a man more than you receive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 11:05 PM
12

It sounds like he while he loves you and shows that love in certain ways, he's still taking you for granted. Romantic or interesting dates don't necessarily have to be expensive - they can be a picnic in the park or an evening at an art gallery - but those do take effort to plan. The fact that you've told him several times you wanted to see shows at the theater, and he didn't take you even once, tells me he doesn't care that much about what makes you happy. In three whole years, yes, if he wante…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 08:39 PM
4

The lowest of low efforts! 14 years...I'm glad you got out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 08:19 PM
8

They think beautiful, high-achieving women should lower their standards so that they find ugly, overweight, single dads with dead end jobs attractive. They DESERVE it. Pure fantasy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 08:16 PM
89

I'm not an equal opportunity employer. I'm a woman. Their argument makes absolutely no sense. Well, actually, it does in their minds. They think women should be public property to be used by every man who pleases.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 02:22 AM
11

Thank you!! It came from a comment I made some time ago, and I realized I should turn into a post!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 02:08 AM
1

Hm I don't know! I've never joined or posted there. Maybe just wait and see.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 01:50 AM
139

Internalize the idea that someone's behavior towards you is a reflection of them, not of you. If someone doesn't see your value, that's their problem, not yours. Not everyone will like you, love you, or want to invest in you, and that's fine. Your opinion of yourself is what matters most of all. I know it's easier said than done, and something I struggle with myself. I just keep reminding myself! Also, HVM are not going to lead you on and date you half heartedly if they're not that interested - …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 01:47 AM
4

I agree that therapy would probably help you a lot. I'm not super familiar with online/phone counseling but I know there are several options out there for you to look into - quarantine is the perfect time to work on yourself!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 01:33 AM
1

looks like it's restricted, you might have to get approved first?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 01:28 AM
6

We post angry creepy messages from scrotes in r/FDSSuperFans instead of here!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 01:17 AM
11

I think I'm going to be single for a long time, if not forever. This is a good reminder!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 11:29 PM
1

So weird. It's a low effort compliment too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 06:25 PM
3

This is too cute!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 05:00 AM
11

And he's not even paying for groceries, let alone rent or utilities.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 09:21 PM
62

This has never sat right with me, before I could put it into words. Why should my confidence come from how sexy or beautiful men think I am? Why should I sexualize myself as if the most interesting thing about me is my body? It turns you into an empty shell of a person, and brainwashes you into believe your looks are the only value you have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 06:16 PM
42

I have a friend who is conventionally gorgeous and I would not. want to deal with it. She frequently has men follow her to her car, she gets groped at clubs...it's scary. That's not even considering all the LV attention she gets that isn't a physical threat. Meeting her made me glad I'm only moderately attractive, lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 05:35 AM
263

That myth is based on this misconception that female dating strategy is about how to get a man, like that's hard. FDS is 99% how to weed out LVM. All women get low value attention, but beautiful women have to deal with a higher volume, like you said. So they have to vet that much more ruthlessly. I think a unique challenge that comes with beauty is the men who build up this perfect idea of who she is based on how she looks, and once they get to know her, she can't possibly measure up because...s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 01:05 AM
58

She needs to wake tf up...how is she this gullible??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 08:08 PM
40

Love how brown men shame brown women for sleeping with white men, while they chase white women like starving dogs until it's time for them to dupe a traditional brown girl into marriage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 08:01 PM
8

I learned this lesson after a year long relationship; at least it was only a year. And I needed that experience to learn the lessons I've learned. Sometimes I feel regret for wasting that time, but I remind myself that I wouldn't be where I am now if I hadn't been through it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 07:49 PM
8

I had doubts about my ex from the beginning, and more doubts gathered throughout the relationship. I ignored them all and got attached. I was afraid of being alone and afraid of making the wrong decision by breaking up, because I didn't trust myself. I know I can be happy on my own and I know to listen to my intuition now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 07:46 PM
5

That would take too much effort; they're allergic to taking responsibility for their own lives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 07:42 PM
4

No, men, we don't care. I know it's impossible to get it through your skulls, but we don't exist to serve your needs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 07:41 PM
13

"I'm SOOOO secure I have to go shout about how insecure other girls are for having normal human feelings."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 04:39 AM
73

My skin is crawling from reading that. He's a sexually coercive POS. Just block him. You don't need to waste another minute or word on him. Calling him out might feel good in the moment, but all it does is feed his ego because it tells him you care enough to do so, and he'll have words to try to reel you back in. PLEASE read everything in the FDS Handbook. And work on enforcing your boundaries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 05:20 AM
50

Just goes to show that sex is all about degradation for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 02:08 AM
80

It's funny...they want to date/marry a good girl that doesn't sleep around but then they're shocked when she doesn't have a high sex drive or initiate sex. Who would've thought?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 02:05 AM
34

He thinks soap is a scam...dirty dishes will be the least of this couple's problems. I bet he'll spread coronavirus to his whole family. Just throw the whole man out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 01:11 AM
69

I've considered it for a while now. I'm part of the way there in that I decided to stop trying to put myself out there (aka dating apps). I'm going to live my life as a single, whole woman, and if a promising man makes his way into my world and pursues me, I'll consider it. FDS has equipped me with the tools I need to weed out the men I don't want to waste my time on. I'm not ready to completely give up the idea of finding a HVM to spend my life with, but I'll plan my future as if it will be jus…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 12:57 AM
10

Of course it's always someone else's fault! Mine was all "I'm sarcastic, I was just joking". Yeah, that doesn't make you not an asshole.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 12:47 AM
23

He's also telling you who he is so if you ever have a problem with his behavior he can say "well, I told you".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 11:55 PM
16

My ex didn't call himself an asshole, but he told me about how several people had recently called him an asshole, and told me each story behind it . Bundle of red flags. He turned out to be...you guessed it, an asshole.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 11:54 PM
3

I'll pm you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 11:19 PM
6

I can't claim credit, it was coined by u/Yianna_F! Agreed!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 04:49 PM
65

Yes! So many women living their lives under the thumbs of men and the patriarchal institutions they created. Equality is such a low bar; we need liberation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 05:36 AM
14

You're going to be so happy and free in not too long! Make yourself proud!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 05:19 AM
101

That's a lot of words for "I see women as objects instead of human beings and it's not my fault wah"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 05:17 AM
62

#TreatHimLikeAVirus2020
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 05:15 AM
138

"my feefees are so fragile I can't handle the thought of women having minds of their own!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 05:03 AM
240

This comment amuses me: "i love how they all say they want equal rights but really they want to have power over men" I don't know about y'all, but I don't want equality. I want liberation. Power not begrudgingly granted by men, but separate from men. I ❤️ this radfem space.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 04:54 AM
7

It really is wonderful to be able to live like we do! My little world is populated pretty much only by women and a few gay men. I only encounter men when I go to run errands, go out to dinner, etc. (granted I'm not that social!) and they're just strangers on the periphery. It's a blessing not to feel like I have to look a certain way to be treated with respect. Which is not to say that women are completely immune to judging other women by looks, but far less so, and I know my thoughts and abilit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 04:27 AM
8

I think I know what post you're talking about it, and I remember posting a comment on it. I had to think long and hard about things I liked about myself that don't center around serving others. It wasn't easy for me. It's not that you don't have amazing qualities that aren't about other people, it's that you're not used to thinking about who you are apart from what you offer to others. It's a mindset shift. You make homemade gifts ----> you're creative and crafty. Imagine what you could make for…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 02:57 AM
16

I was eating dinner but that picture made me lose my appetite.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 02:43 AM
8

Also I guess I was hoping I would be able to change his mind You should never make it your goal to change his mind. You're basically trying to prove you're wonderful enough for him to commit - but you don't need to prove anything to anyone. If he doesn't see it now, he'll never see it. If he says he's "not looking for a relationship that means either: 1) he doesn't want a relationship, or 2) he doesn't want a relationship with you. That's your cue to walk away because we don't waste our time on …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 02:25 AM
93

They don't see any women as worthy of respect, but they'll fake it with the women they find attractive in the hopes of getting with her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 09:51 PM
21

One has to be much much much more cautious with mentally ill men than women. I personally would be/am friends with women who have mental health diagnoses, but I wouldn't be friends with or date men that do. I won't risk the abuse and violence. Example: https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2011/08/mental-illness " The researchers also found that women with anxiety disorders are more likely to internalize emotions, which typically results in withdrawal, loneliness and depression. Men, on the ot…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 06:47 PM
5

I love the list of steps your took to reclaim your power; so useful. I still need to work on some of those things, especially letting go of the need to manage other’s perceptions of me, and looking inward for self-validation. Congrats on your level up! You're honestly inspirational.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 05:57 PM
6

Didn’t you know, that’s all we have to offer???? 🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 10:26 PM
2

Hooooly shit. Don't let crazy stick its dick in you. I hope she's doing better now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 07:42 PM
4

I think it's fine. If you're not in a committed relationship, nothing is guaranteed. They don't like being reminded you're not hooked on them? Let them deal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 07:40 PM
4

him holding my cat down in the kitchen and spraying canned air in it's mouth please tell me that didn't actually happen!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 07:04 PM
56

ANY response from you = "she still wants me"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 05:14 PM
35

The tradition of having bachelor parties at strip clubs/hiring strippers for your bachelor party is so depraved. You’re going to demonstrate the ultimate commitment to your wife in a few weeks...and to celebrate, you ogle and fondle other naked women who don’t want to be there? Lol at the weak ones that are sooo afraid of being left out. If he can’t stand up to his friends, he either doesn’t actually want to or he’s a limp wet rag of a person that you can never rely on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 03:56 PM
51

I saw some post the other day by a guy who said women not wanting to date him or sleep with him was ‘dehumanizing’. Dude needs to use a dictionary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 03:44 PM
9

Oh man...lately I've been regretting not choosing a higher-paying field, because I'm in grad school for a lower-paying one that I'm starting to realize may not be right for me. Not sure how to cope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 06:19 AM
197

A man's sexual interest means absolutely nothing. He'd fuck a mcchicken if he was hard up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 05:49 AM
21

Yes, you should be cautious. They're bored and desperate. I would block and delete. If a man ever seemed meh about you, he has no place in your life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 03:49 AM
17

Imagine mommying a grown man who behaves and eats like an unsupervised five-year-old.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 01:52 AM
28

He was a feeder. Shudder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 01:50 AM
29

He wants to have his cake and eat it too. So cowardly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 01:38 AM
2

Got it, I was confused because your comment seemed respond to the content in the first half of my comment and not the edit. The notion (expressed by some here) that taking care of yourself requires painting your nails or dyeing your hair or shaving your legs or insert-any-beauty-task that only women are expected to do, is just wrong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 01:27 AM
9

I don't think you understood my edit. Being natural is fine. Bragging about being natural is pathetic. Doing yourself up to the nines is fine. Bragging about doing yourself up to the nines is pathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 01:15 AM
12

Nothing wrong with not doing all those things, I don't either, but to act like it makes you better than other women and to brag about it on social media is pathetic. Edit: to some people in this thread, acting like doing those things makes you better is also not a good look.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 12:57 AM
2

Mine too. You need a timeframe for engagement, and then a timeframe for marriage - none of that forever fiancee bs. Ew I could never be a live in girlfriend either. Honestly I feel like I'd get sick of living with a spouse, even. If I could do the separate-but-conjoined houses like Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton, I would.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 06:21 AM
19

If you live with him, he can see what brand and type of products you use without having to ask. It is thoughtful, but thoughtfulness is expected. This isn't above and beyond.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 01:07 AM
2

Lol true! I'll only have one drink when I drive, and only if I'm super familiar with the route.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 12:19 AM
23

So this rapist decided his "right" to have raw sex was worth making the woman he sleeps with have an abortion. I am so disgusted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 09:13 PM
25

Insane. I'm sure there are many registered sex offenders (as well as rapists who have never been tried or caught) on OLD. I once went on a first date with someone that I didn't google until after the date. Turns out he'd been arrested for marijuana and hard drug possession. Not violent crimes, but obviously not someone I'd want to date. Now I've learned to google first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 08:57 PM
24

I think a lot of guys use it for a quick ego boost without interacting with any of their matches.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 08:48 PM
45

This is so important. Learn to trust yourself. Every dating/relationship mistake I've made was a result of my second guessing myself and ignoring my instincts. As you start to listen to yourself more, and make decisions that are only your own, your self-confidence and self-trust will grow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 08:45 PM
72

They just have to reduce an accomplished woman to her looks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 08:41 PM
26

I'm not going on a night out with a stranger. Then I have to choose between walking by myself to my car late at night, or letting a man I barely know walk me to my car late at night. While tipsy. Great idea.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 08:34 PM
15

Exactly. My ex (LV but had some HV traits) made 6 figures. I'm in school. He let me pay when I occasionally offered (I was pickmeisha too then) but he never expected me to pay. He paid at least 90% of the time without complaint or resentment. I'm pretty sure he would've paid 100% of the time if I'd never offered. He just knew that was what he needed to do to be with me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 07:46 PM
14

Just don't trust a guy with a finsta. Girls with finstas are one thing - they use it for unflattering pictures, random pictures or pictures of them drinking and show more skin (if they're from a conservative/religious family). A guy on the other hand doesn't really have to worry about posting these things on his regular account. So why does he have a secret one? Not a good sign.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 05:11 PM
125

Youth digger!! Let's make it happen. The only men who whine about gold diggers are the ones who could never attract them. They're insecure about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 05:05 PM
30

I don't know why but I'm so entertained by "alfalfa" They think we're less than human so a man that treats us like humans = simp. And women in this sub don't "know our place".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 05:02 PM
2

I used to have this issue but I don’t think I have it anymore. I’m so content on my own and so disillusioned with men that I wonder if I even could fall in love again. Though it wouldn’t be the worst thing if I didn’t.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 08:07 AM
33

From #KickHimOut2020 to #TreatThemLikeAVirus2020 😂 If nothing else we’ve had some killer FDS hashtags this year!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 07:39 AM
10

It's just so...sad. Like girl, you realize you can be better. So be better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 04:04 AM
101

Yes! If you build a life that you love and become the woman you want to be first, then any man that walks into your life won't have much of an effect on you. You'll be able to get to know him while maintaining strong emotional boundaries and without getting attached. My mistake in the past was neglecting that critical first step.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 01:13 AM
50

They think they're entitled to a 10/10 beautiful woman no matter if they look like blob of mouldy dough. They think they are owed us. When reality doesn't deliver, they throw mantrums ranging from whiny posts on reddit to shooting up movie theaters because they have the emotional capacity of a toddler and the aggression of an adult male.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 12:54 AM
26

The other day, I stumbled onto one of those subs full of incels who are obsessed with hating women for daring to gasp age like any other living being. I saw them talk about how Chrissy Teigen is and was a butterface, even in a swimsuit photo from when she was like 20 (and radiant). Even if she were a regular, non-famous woman, she wouldn't give these scrotes a single glance, just like every other woman in their lives. They're just mad about it and have to tear women down to make themselves feel …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 12:49 AM
45

Oh my lord. Put him in prison.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 07:39 PM
3

I'll suggest they contact the mods - thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 07:18 PM
8

Let's do it!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 07:18 PM
30

Evolution doing its work and taking these losers out of the gene pool.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 05:44 PM
8

They rarely leave the main chick for the side chick, and when they do, they get a new side chick. Barf. Glad she leveled up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 05:32 PM
15

He should know within a year, honestly. Even if he's young. That's why so many couples break up around the year mark. Though we may not know within a year.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 05:31 PM
7

Can you imagine allowing yourself to be someone's placeholder for years and then getting back together with them?? That's not just disrespectful to yourself, but also your current partner. Couldn't be me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 05:30 PM
15

As they say, "when you know you know". When you don't know, you string a woman along for over a decade.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 05:28 PM
5

“Unknown user” lmao. That user is him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 04:54 PM
16

Exactly the kind of man we want to avoid. 95% of that sub is a mess. Not sure why it even exists.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 07:37 AM
33

Block and delete, sis, no paragraphs. Just block and delete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 06:46 AM
9

He had the personality and character of a wet sponge. So bland and no freaking clue what he wanted. He just used the opportunity to feel up beautiful women who were way out of his league. No idea what the women saw in him but at least they came to their senses by the end. Except Kelley. WHY?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 06:26 AM
22

You've told him special occasions are important to you. He either didn't listen or didn't care (and if he didn't listen, he didn't care). I saw in another comment, you said he said that he doesn't know what you like. How is it possible, that after 3 whole years of marriage, he doesn't know what you like?? Has he paid any attention to the human he's been living with for 3 years? Again, ridiculous. You're right that he doesn't care about your feelings. I know that realization hurts a lot. But you …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 06:20 AM
29

love it when they tell on themselves and you don't have to waste your time!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 05:29 AM
53

Queen move. I'm considering doing the single-to-engaged thing the next time I date. Don't want to waste my time or energy on a relationship that goes nowhere.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 05:24 AM
14

I found this https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/02/opinion/coronavirus-men-women.html?action=click&module=Opinion&pgtype=Homepage either here or in r/PinkpillFeminism the other day. Our bodies are incredible. And clearly more valuable, according to biology.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 05:21 AM
1

Literally. Both of my grandmothers were 15 when they married my grandfathers, who were in their 30s and 40s. If they had any other viable options, they wouldn't have chosen to be child brides.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 05:14 AM
74

Don't waste years of your life with someone who won't commit to you, ladies. Hopefully the OP will finally walk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 05:12 AM
4

I haven't chosen well in the past, so my empathy was wasted on them. But at least they didn't try to make me play therapist for them. Going forward, I won't give more than what I receive. Empathy and emotional labor included.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 03:55 AM
61

Seriously? He doesn't know how to use the internet? He expects you to buy your own gifts? And he expects you to exert the emotional labor to buy his mom a gift? Ridiculous. Does he buy gifts for other loved ones? E.g his dad, siblings, friends? If the answer is yes, I would question why he didn't give you the same effort. If he has you buy the gifts for his loved ones, I'd question why he can't step up and do it himself. If you have to ask yourself if you're overreacting, it just means you've be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 03:51 AM
16

Pilot Pete boosted his confidence. "If he can get it, so can I!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 03:45 AM
4

I'm very empathetic but I reserve my empathy for women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 03:14 AM
1

This is so spot on! I worked on leveling up in my social life after my breakup. What a huge difference it made in my overall happiness. I still have more work to do when we can be social again!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 02:56 AM
9

Did anyone else get a message recently from a reporter writing a story about dating during COVID? I did my research and the request seems legit (I'm leaving out details here) and I thought it could be interesting to participate. But I thought it was too risky to share my contact info with them. And I don't want them to use even my reddit username in the story, so maybe I shouldn't do it at all. Also, I've been dealing with stress acne from this quarantine-induced cocktail of emotions. Argh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 02:51 AM
147

Scrotes are coming up with the the stupidest ways to entertain themselves in quarantine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 02:09 AM
6

Men can only hide their true nature for so long. Many hide their true nature with a veneer of devoutness. He's actually a misogynistic prick with a fragile ego and mental issues he's obviously not managing. You dodged a bullet sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 10:52 PM
53

There's more than one reason we say you shouldn't tell a man all about himself. It doesn't just show him how much you care and feed his ego. If you tell him what's wrong with him - like listing out his narcissistic traits - now he knows what he needs to better conceal with the next woman. Don't help teach him how to manipulate unsuspecting women. Next time, write out that email but don't send it. You realized your mistake, and you know not to make it again. Congrats on getting that trash out of …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 10:38 PM
11

Wolf in sheep's clothing. It's a strategy to get access to unsuspecting women. I knew a freshman like that when I was an upperclassman. He was involved with a reproductive rights organization and posed as an 'ally' but he became known for walking drunk girls home from parties and then trying to rape them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 08:21 PM
16

No self respecting man wants to be coddled like a toddler for being a decent human being.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 07:40 AM
71

They use their idea of feminism (aka liberal feminism) to serve their purposes: splitting the bill or not paying at all watching porn which is ~so empowering for women~ pressuring you for sex by convincing you that "they'll still respect you" getting you to feel comfortable with them since they ~respect women~ so they can more easily pull some rapey shit on you and you wouldn't have even seen it coming allowing their wife to work full-time outside the home AND full-time inside the home (true equ…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 02:53 AM
36

You tell a male he can’t be a feminist and he’ll call you a c*nt 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 02:46 AM
6

Most of the men I know in my area drink nearly every day, so they literally are poisoning themselves. They're young now, with just beer bellies to show for it, but in a decade they'll have a face full of wrinkles. In three to four decades, they'll have strokes or brain abscesses. It's sad how little they care for themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 10:05 PM
3

The only close male friend I've had, back in college, was like this. Very open and willing to talk about not just his emotions but also my emotions, and support me through difficult times. Before I met him, I hardly had any many male friends and never any that I felt close to. I felt connected to him because I could talk to him like I could talk to my girl friends. We live far away and have grown apart since college. I haven't met a man like that since and I still have hardly any male friends - …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 09:56 PM
8

That's what I came here to say!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 03:53 PM
16

Honestly...I've had no need to block and delete for a while now. I love it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 03:41 PM
41

Ladies, no matter how good your comeback is, that fact that you're replying at all is cringey and shows everyone you still care. Block and delete. If you still insist on messing around with these scrotes, at least don't post the exchanges here. We don't encourage that and it's not FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 03:30 PM
2

I'm so so glad you're okay and that you didn't go through with it. Your body and your life are precious. Don't waste them on a steaming pile of trash.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 07:33 PM
12

Here's a basic rule for dealing with men: Anything he says that's positive, e.g. that makes you think "aw, he's really into me", "he wants the same things as me," "he's such a good man", etc. Don't take it at face value. Be a skeptic. Observe closely and critically to see if his actions consistently back up those words. Never blindly believe him. Anything he says that's negative, that gives you pause, like "I don't want a relationship right now", "(insert misogynistic comment)", "(insert negativ…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 03:34 AM
19

If you're not getting what you want out of a relationship, you need to walk away. You will never get it from him. Asking him to treat you with care and respect, again and again and again, won't change anything. Wish I'd learned this a year ago.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 07:14 PM
51

Lmao. LV scrote acting like he's the prize while he begs women to fuck him on Tinder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 07:11 PM
52

This is one of the many reasons we don't approach men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 07:09 PM
112

The concept of virginity was created by men who felt so inadequate about their penises they couldn't stand the thought of a woman that's had another man's.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 06:54 PM
46

'Logic' only comes into play when it serves their purposes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 06:53 PM
7

I never knew that's how 'motel' came about! The more ya know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 06:40 PM
64

Did you just make a portmanteau of scrote and Scott?? I love that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 03:58 AM
34

I like to be cooked for 💁🏾‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 03:54 AM
52

Damn were they paying you at the very least?? My dad would sometimes ask me to iron his clothes growing up. I always fucked it up and once I even burnt one of his shirts. He stopped asking me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 01:39 AM
45

Never never never give more than you receive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 01:36 AM
2

You're right, they're learning opportunities! It's way too easy to continue in our maladaptive patterns, even when they cause us so much pain, when we can't admit the truth to ourselves. I'm happy for you and the progress you've made!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 08:54 PM
2

This really is the perfect time to self reflect, with all the emotions we're cycling through and all this time spent alone indoors - there's no better time to get to know yourself. That's a great idea - reflecting on the actions we're taking now rather than just past actions. Now that we're communicating only virtually, we can easily take a step back and reflect in the moment. Tinder is a waste of time in the best of times, but especially now. We have more important things to do, the only men on…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 08:48 PM
1

I'd love to hear your most life changing books, too! I love to read, but don't feel like I've gotten as much out of reading as you have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 06:32 AM
32

This is another reason why I'm leery of OLD. They may deem me pretty enough to swipe on, pretty enough to ask out, pretty enough to go out with a few times in the hopes of getting sex, but I'm most likely not their type. I consider myself beautiful but I'm also a WOC with ethnic features; I could be way out of their league and still not their type. I feel like we have a better chance of attracting men who are genuinely very attracted to us in person, because that actually requires courage, initi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 06:09 AM
21

Can't imagine why he's divorced... Good thing she got away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 04:05 AM
2

I haven't been reading, writing, and listening to podcasts as much as I want. To come perfectly clean, it's partly because my procrastination on work is 10x worse now (and my procrastination involves going Reddit and Instagram rather than reading, writing, and listening to podcasts)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 01:01 AM
30

There are a million red flags here. She's falling for his potential and that's very unwise. She's just out of her teens, he's 11 years older than her. Decent men know it's wrong to date much younger women. He's sexually inappropriate with her and has sex issues - porn sick, it will get worse. "Nice, fun, and caring" will only last so long, until he knows he has her under his thumb.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 04:14 PM
11

Who really wants to spend this uncertain time texting with strangers they'll probably never meet? What a waste of time. Even with constantly being home, I still am not able to fit all the things I want to do into a day! This is easier for me because I'm an introvert and cherish my alone time, but there's so many other virtual ways to have social contact to ease the loneliness. Facetime your loved ones, send memes, Netflix party, etc. If that's not enough, get a Bumble BFF and make a new friend w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 04:02 PM
21

I have done this! It was a great exercise to sit and think about what I really wanted, because I'd never thought too hard about it, and just accepted whatever showed up at my doorstep. Now that I've done that, having it in writing will help keep me accountable to my desires and values - and you're right, keep me accountable in terms of meeting those standards myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 03:47 PM
16

You're so right about the danger of bringing her baby to these strange men's houses...OP, she clearly doesn't care much about herself, but I hope she does care about her child. I would try to talk some sense into her about her child's safety, at least.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 04:44 AM
17

That is the cutest fucking banana. Reminds me of the small-dicked TRP incel type that followed me today. Why doesn't Reddit have a soft block option??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 04:35 AM
18

I'm Western and thankfully haven't had the mindset that women must cook for their husbands preached to me (even my mom has never tried to tell me that, she teaches me her recipes so I can cook for myself). It's just that so many of our men are useless in the kitchen...like it's a valuable life skill. You're smart enough to get an MD, you can't learn to feed yourself? You need a woman to do that for you? It's just ridiculous to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 04:30 AM
8

Mine did too! Knew how at least, and did it for me and with me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 04:25 AM
19

You're not obligated to repeat yourself like a broken record while she doesn't listen to you. Give her a heads up that you're done talking about her boy problems, and tell her why if you'd like, and then enforce that boundary next time she comes crying to you. I have a pickmeisha friend (though she's not nearly this bad). Last time she came to me for advice that I knew she wouldn't listen to, I told her afterwards that while I'll continue to be her friend, I couldn't promise I'd keep listening t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 04:14 AM
38

I have one rule regarding cooking - I'll cook for him only if, and after, he cooks for me. l'm a decent cook but I honestly hate cooking, it's a chore. I'm not doing it to serve anyone but myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 11:14 PM
22

I am too and I sure as hell will never cook meat for anyone. Thankfully have not had anyone expect it (yet).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 11:08 PM
44

Same background. In my family, almost none of the men know how to cook because they had their moms cooking for them all their lives, until they lived alone and then ate nothing but takeout (healthy, right?), and then they got married and had their wives cook for them. I find it comical.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 11:06 PM
26

Literally one of the only places that doesn't make my blood boil and/or make me want to vomit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 09:53 PM
6

I don't even look at those subs, they make me too angry. Before I found FDS, I posted in one of the relationship subs about an issue in my then-relationship. Got a lot of "you should explain it to him again" advice from women, and a lot of "stop being an entitled princess" responses from men. If I had come to FDS, I would've gotten the "dump him" advice, which was the REAL solution.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 09:52 PM
3

Whoa that was so interesting. Thanks for sharing! Now I kind of want to try out a corset.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 09:29 PM
34

@ that comment on the bottom - funny how they throw slurs when they know they can't measure up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 09:09 PM
8

r/femalefashionadvice
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 08:14 PM
66

Yep. Even in my pickme days, I vetted guys by checking if they followed IG baddies/soft porn accounts. I wasn't going to compete for his attention, especially on a public platform (that's just trashy, anyone can see that). Even more importantly, I've now realized that if he looks at women on instagram like pieces of meat to drool over/jerk off to...he's never going to see you as a person. Just another piece of meat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 07:55 AM
2

You have a lot on your plate and I completely understand feeling overwhelmed. I'm in school with work placements involved, and it can be hard to balance the two. I generally cook healthy meals, but I cook huge batches - a meal that will last 6 dinners, for examples. That adds extra time for prep work and cooking time, but you definitely save time compared to cooking dinner every day of the week. You may not be able to do this with your schedule, but I have spent entire Sundays cooking 2 meals th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 07:15 AM
145

Because women are objects to them. If you're not thin and beautiful, your very existence is an affront to them, because your existence doesn't serve them. They cannot even begin to comprehend a woman being confident despite not making their dick hard - so they hate her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 06:26 AM
87

*(pretend to) show respect to this woman
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 06:11 AM
40

Interesting observations! Human males know they can't stand a chance against the competition, so they shame women for their n-count in order to reduce competition. Basically, they know they ain't shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 06:09 AM
35

Oh hell no. Whether they're 'joking' or not, it is not healthy to expose yourself to that mindset repeatedly. It's not true; it's a look inside the mind of a misogynistic nematode and the pickmes who run after their scraps. Are there guys who think like that? Sure, plenty. Is that the kind of guy you want to find yourself within a 50 foot radius of at a party, or worse, date? I'm sure the answer is no. Trust your instincts. If it makes you feel bad about yourself or bad about being a woman, it's…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 05:57 AM
28

Exactly. We learn from our experiences and other women's experiences, we listen to our fine-tuned instincts, and we behave accordingly. If an interaction with someone rings alarm bells, we've learned to strike just the right balance between coldness (can't encourage his interest) and politeness (who knows what he'll do if I make him angry). Men don't have to worry about any of this. At worst, they worry about getting mugged. And when we tell them the precautions we take, and the things we've bee…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 05:37 AM
25

It wasn't until 15/16 for me, I think due to my race, being an ugly preteen/teen, and where I grew up. It's sad that I consider myself lucky.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 01:31 AM
108

If they had to switch bodies with a woman for a day or two, they'd probably end up dead in a ditch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 01:27 AM
7

Thanks, I've given this a lot of thought! I think it's very important for women to consider and plan for the consequences of sex before we have it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 12:24 AM
35

I've decided not to have sex until I'm in a place in my life where I wouldn't hesitate to keep a pregnancy. I refuse to go on hormonal BC again, I'm not currently comfortable with using just one contraceptive method (condoms), and though I'm pro-choice I don't think I could ever have an abortion. So that means: 1) I need to be financially able to raise a child (on my own if it comes to that), 2) emotionally ready for a child (which I am not), 3) Ideally, in a committed relationship with a HVM wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 08:38 PM
26

One piece of advice my mom gave me was to marry someone who, if I chose to be a stay at home, could comfortably provide for our family on his own. I think that's wise. I don't plan to give up my career, but I may end up working part time and being a part time stay at home mom, and either way, I do not want to have to spend my life worrying about money. I want to feel secure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 08:23 PM
3

Got it, my bad - I made assumptions about the situation! Too true about LVM resorting to excuses and lies - and using their toddlers as a scapegoat - when confronted. But don't even bother acknowledging and confronting them. While it may feel good to call them out, really all you're doing is wasting your own time and energy while you give them attention for their bad behavior (and they love attention). It's pointless and draining.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 07:09 PM
59

Girl! Why are you allowing those people to even follow you? Soft block and clear the negative energy. Also, stop vaguebooking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 06:59 PM
3

I love that idea, a list of how I want to feel/don’t want to feel. I’m going to add that to my journal! I’ve always made excuses for his behavior and dismissed my own feelings as overreactions and insecurity. But I should have validated those feelings and listened to what they were telling me about the situation/person. I think a ‘feelings’ list would help keep me accountable in that way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 07:00 AM
7

Aboslutely, both are super useful! I have, for the future, a list of dealbreakers (based on past experience), and a list of green flag qualities (based on past experience and what I now value) written in my journal. Putting together a positives list is a great exercise to help you figure out what you're looking for, and from there, measure the men you meet against the standards you've already set!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 05:34 AM
11

The term has a sexual connotation - a photo that's supposed to attract "thirst" from the opposite sex (or whoever you're into). E.g. showing a lot of skin or posing suggestively. Maybe not everyone uses the term that way, but that's the only way I've heard it used.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 05:23 AM
5

It will. You're getting stronger. <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 05:09 AM
18

Yes! In my culture, daughters are a burden to worry about; even if she has her own career and income and is perfectly capable of taking care of herself, she needs someone else to take care of her and protect her. That's the parents' job, until that burden is passed on to her husband. Who is supposed to then take care of her and protect her. Who may not necessarily do that. A relative of mine ended up in an rushed arranged marriage with an abusive man who used her for a visa, because her dad was …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 05:07 AM
42

She is, but thirst traps come across as desperate and attention-seeking to everyone who sees them. That's why LVMs like the one above love that shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 04:03 AM
12

We're proud of you! It's not easy to examine your motivations and the choices you've made (and the men you've chosen to be with) so critically, but it's important self-work. Keep leveling up and leave that trash in the garbage where it belongs!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 03:42 AM
38

Just reject their friend requests and move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 03:33 AM
12

eat hot chip and lie quarantine
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 07:59 PM
2

Good point about the man cave. That's the only thing I'd look out for - if he treated it like a boys' only club.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 06:02 AM
2

That's a beautiful room. I don't think this is an issue. Someone who puts this much work, money, and taste into a space for social drinking, probably drinks in moderation. If I had the space in my future house, I'd totally have a cocktail bar or wine cellar/wine tasting room. I have about 0-2 drinks a week.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 06:01 AM
61

He's an irresponsible idiot. Can you imagine sharing a home with him? Having children with him? He's showing his true colors (red flags everywhere) and that's your signal to dump him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 05:51 AM
38

Like we haven't heard that 2 million times. If you're going to be gross and misogynistic, at least be original?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 12:36 AM
27

They typically have experienced sexual trauma and/or are pornsick themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 08:51 PM
24

I couldn't even if I wanted to, I deleted his number ages ago. I have found myself wondering why he hasn't reached out to me at a time like this (still in that validation mindset ugh), but then I remind myself I wouldn't respond if he did and I'd dislike him even more for not respecting my boundaries and breaking my peace.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 08:32 PM
2

Oh no! If I were you I’d delete that picture from my public accounts to be safe, because they could use a google reverse image search to find your accounts. Imagine being such a pickme that you infiltrate a women’s only group to help your guy friend or boyfriend hack it. Who has time for that shit??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 07:22 PM
2

It could always be lurkers. I didn’t even know that happened...I should’ve figured it was a matter of time till it got hacked. Thankfully I had barely anything on there but I’m worried about that selfie.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 07:07 PM
1

Do you think they have access the selfies we sent in to get verified?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 07:00 PM
11

Reminds me of a guy from the recent season of Terrace House (a Japanese reality show). He's around 20. He reveals he wants to be a superhero. The housemates question him about this - what does he mean? An actor that plays a superhero? No. A superhero. He then tries, and fails, to get a job at a Marvel-themed bar, which is supposed to get him closer to his dream of being a superhero.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 07:52 AM
65

Nah he won't but you won't care.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 07:45 AM
2

I think you're totally right about conflating society and biology. The stigma around female promiscuity is socially enforced (in some cultures more than others), not a biological law. I appreciate that OP's trying to turn the "biology" argument that's usually espoused by men on its head to explain why we FDS women behave the way we behave. But I suppose I have a problem with a biological rationalization at any level. It is fascinating to learn why humans do the things they do in order to continu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 03:37 AM
17

Interesting points! Found this fascinating article about promiscuity as an evolutionary strategy in female primates and humans in one of the Girl Game posts: https://slate.com/technology/2013/12/female-promiscuity-in-primates-when-do-women-have-multiple-partners.html ‘These Himba women, their skin and elaborate braids beautifully decorated in red pigment made from crushed ochre and animal fat, would be entered into arranged marriages at a young age. However, as Scelza discovered, while their hus…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 08:45 AM
29

Mind blown. It really is all about penises and power.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 08:27 AM
10

One strategy I like is to make a list of all the things I don't like about him. You can include personality and character traits with or without how he treats you, if that makes you feel worse. When you feel yourself missing him, read the list. Repeat. I did this after my breakup and it helped immensely. Like, why was I missing someone like that??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 04:00 AM
3

You're offering yourself. If it isn't enough for a man, he isn't the right one. THIS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 03:23 AM
6

He can invest any of his resources (money, time, energy/effort) in you. Money example - he'll pay for dates without complaint and without expecting something in return. He won't expect you to pay (though he won't necessarily protest if you do want to pay). Time example - he'll want to see you often and make spending time with you one of his top priorities. Energy/effort example - If you're sick, he'll come over with medicine and soup. If you've had a bad day, he'll be there for you in whatever w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 03:18 AM
3

They can't stand the fact that many women these days have the means to live our own lives rather than submit to being exploited by men. They want to take back control; somehow, whining that men are oppressed is the solution? He wants you under his thumb. Do you want to live like that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 10:12 PM
19

Hell no. If my mom, who is very traditional, were to find out my future husband watched porn? She'd have me cancel the wedding.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 10:03 PM
29

Never allow yourself to be financially dependent on a man. He can pay all the bills but that doesn't mean you can't pay them yourself (make sure you can, if you leave him or he leaves you). His paying for everything or almost everything doesn't mean that you're not his equal or that he's not your equal. It means that he's willing to invest in his relationship with you. If a man won't pay for you, that means he's not willing to invest in you - he doesn't see you as a serious prospect he wants to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 09:47 PM
36

Who knows at this point what coronavirus will do to a fetus.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 09:36 PM
107

He made her pay for expired food. Didn't tell her it was expired before she bought it. Not only should she dump him, he should be fired for putting someone's health at risk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 09:33 PM
20

He didn't care about you enough to make you a priority. And that's not a reflection of your value, that's a reflection of his inability to make an adult decision (let you go, or have a genuine, mutual relationship with you). He's either looking for hookups or other women to swindle into a crappy relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 01:58 AM
9

It's not either really, just a kind thing to do. There's nothing wrong with accepting; a queen accepts gifts that please her (that don't come with expectations attached, but if they do, that's a sign of LV). A simple thanks is enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 01:53 AM
2

Just adding - make sure you have acetaminophen and Gatorade on hand in case you get sick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 09:39 PM
11

If you have fluffy towels to layer over or under, that might help!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 03:45 AM
7

I've been reading novels, reading for classes that start online tomorrow, working on class projects, wrestling with COVID-19-related moral dilemmas, and baking for the first time in ages. After the jam-packed first few days of this week I plan to start doing at home cardio and yoga workouts! I also did a deep cleaning of my place and I feel so much more peaceful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 03:44 AM
55

No, but that does not sound good. Sounds like he's trying to make you feel jealous and desperate for his attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 10:56 PM
11

Girl. Your city and state are running out of hospital beds and pretty soon doctors are going to have to decide who lives and who dies, like in Italy. You shouldn't want to see him either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 10:44 PM
16

Agreed. Coronavirus was a convenient excuse to delete my dating apps. Just stay home and take care of yourself and the public.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 01:13 AM
11

Should I tell my friend the guy she's seeing is on Tinder, or let it go? They've been friends for several years (while I've been friends with her for a few months) and they recently started dating. They're not exclusive/official yet. I saw him while swiping on Tinder about a week ago. She may already know and/or not care, I don't know. I figured I should let it go. Update: I told her and she took it well! Hopefully if they become exclusive he'll take it down of his own accord. Thanks ladies!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 08:39 PM
2

I know, it's scary. Especially knowing so many infected people are asymptomatic for a while. I'm working in a hospital with elderly patients and I'm paranoid I might be unknowingly spreading it, but it's nearly impossible to get testing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 11:22 PM
1

I don't have a particular strategy. I find that as you get to know each other better and share more about yourselves, things just come out. Two exes have brought up casual sex experiences like fwbs in the context of a conversation about past relationships. It became clear to me that both men had had some but not much casual sex, weren't opposed to it, but hadn't spent a lot of time and energy chasing it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 10:58 PM
3

This is one way to find out, but it's not ideal to lay your cards on the table ie tell him what he has to do to get to have sex with you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 07:01 PM
9

Don’t do it, don’t risk your health or the fine. You have no obligation to him, so don’t worry about him. Also, being alone isn’t that hard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 04:52 PM
13

Ew. Ew ew. Racist, disgusting, AND dumb to think that would somehow work on you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 04:47 PM
12

I’ve had mediocre but not terrible experiences (except for like one creepy date). FDS has helped open my eyes to the reality of men. I was so naive before.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 04:43 PM
12

I'm sure they're still trying to pressure women into meeting up. If they don't care about getting STDs when they go raw with a rando, why would they care about getting coronavirus?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 04:37 AM
40

Considering you're probably exposed to the virus, you should socially distance yourself as much as possible from other people outside of work so you don't infect anyone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 04:36 AM
2

You're so right, our lives aren't considered complete without a man. I never believed they could be until recently. It wasn't until I found FDS that I started to think that I could complete myself. Every time a relationship ended, I felt like my world was crumbling, because I tried to make each of them my home. That was a mistake. I'm working on building that home within myself now, too. Best of luck sister!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 02:15 AM
38

Without a doubt. But let’s be honest, he’s probably the kind of guy who rapes but doesn’t think what he does is rape.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 06:16 AM
33

Yes yes yes. So many people live on autopilot, moving through life according to the patterns they acquired in childhood, until they do the inner work to unlearn them and live by their own carefully chosen values. And that’s why so many are in terrible relationships or just unhappy with their lives. I grew up in a toxic family with two parents who love me but hate each other. My mom was emotionally and financially abused and controlled and naturally has a lot of issues of her own as a result. I’v…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 06:12 AM
76

Probably a rapist, if not a murderer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 04:09 AM
5

You don't get it at all. Both man and woman are free to date multiple people until they decide to be exclusive. The default is that they are dating multiple people. There's no need to be 'open and honest' about it - that's actually just manipulating someone into competing for one's attention. It's disrespectful to brag about all the men and/or women you're seeing, regardless of your gender. Not hard to understand.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 03:08 AM
10

I literally pretend I’m deaf and/or mute when men approach me at gas stations. Just look at them in silence and then look away. They give up pretty quickly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 05:38 PM
38

They love to project. That is so strange to bring it up out of nowhere, really makes you wonder. Glad you're not with him anymore!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 05:06 AM
22

Oh no I totally get that! Makes for a compelling scene. I just love breakfast food too much to waste it on a cheater.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 05:04 AM
47

Kind of off topic but: "Perry tells The Independent that the “rough sex” defence is similar to the “nagging and shagging defence” when juries are persuaded that male perpetrators were justified in their violence because of their female partner’s behaviour, such as decreased frequency of sex or nagging." People think men are justified in murdering their wives/girlfriends because she complained or didn't want sex. The world disappoints me more and more by the day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 02:40 AM
51

Nothing yet; I've always been way too nice. NOT ANYMORE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 02:13 AM
331

60% chance he made up a sob story about how she cheated on him and then abandoned him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 02:07 AM
200

I would've taken both with me, returned the video game to get my $$ back, and eaten the breakfast.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 02:06 AM
9

I’ll have to give that episode a listen! I read an FDS post about deleting dating apps yesterday, and one of the comments talked about how the very act of putting yourself out there in OLD is an act of desperation, of pursuing men. That really resonated with me, as I’ve felt a lot of personal shame about being on dating apps even though it’s so socially acceptable these days - it never quite sat right with me. And men on OLD see that too, so guys who are leagues below us come at us with low effo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 08:56 PM
15

Exactly. I wasn’t even looking for something serious but to just date around for now. Still, I felt so icky knowing 99% of these dudes are just trying to fuck. Still, I had to constantly confront the reality that I would likely never meet the kind of man I’d actually want to end up with, on a dating app. It’s demoralizing and feels like a huge waste of time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 08:19 PM
13

They’re really terrible. Every time I download them I delete them within a week or two.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 07:42 PM
63

I started dating again recently but just decided to delete my apps and focus on myself again, because it was not great for my mental and emotional health. Also, coronavirus.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 07:36 PM
29

Apparently wanting to live your life without worry of being disappeared, murdered, raped, sex trafficked, etc is not a right women should have. Guaranteed this is a middle class white American “feminist” whose head is so far up her own ass she thinks she can speak for all women everywhere.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 07:15 PM
3

Yeah, I suppose. I compare him to the awful men I hear about on this sub and he was pretty decent in comparison. He had a lot of HV traits but a few, major LV ones as well. Bottom line is that it wasn’t good enough for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 03:48 PM
55

Towards the end, my ex refused to walk me to my car one night after I asked him to. It bothered me and I brought it up a few days later, and he wouldn't see my point of view. One of my arguments was that he used to walk me to my car in the beginning. He responded "well, that was in the beginning." I wouldn't say my ex was quite a LVM, but he wasn't HV either. It's not like the whole relationship was a lie, but he clearly thought that once he "got" me, he could stop trying to impress me. And he d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 04:36 AM
6

Assuming it's a healthy, happy marriage, I think keeping it a secret is unnecessary. If I get married, I would want to keep a separate account in addition to a joint account, to ensure I have my own money if I need to leave. I wouldn't keep it a secret but I also wouldn't allow my husband access to it. If he has a problem with that, I'd have to wonder why.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 09:15 PM
47

Not to mention if he's openly leering, what other socially unacceptable things will he try to do to you?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 04:25 AM
1

AVOID. He could have a Harvard degree and be a billionaire and still be trash. He clearly has no respect for women, so he never will for you either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 07:19 PM
10

I'd say "nah, it's platinum".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 07:13 PM
4

If we "ain't the prize" then why are they lurking and messaging us to try to convince us we're not?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 07:12 PM
2

No. If a man only dates women of a certain race/ethnicity *that is not his own* there's a sketchy reason for that - he has a fetish, or stereotypical notions of what a woman from that background behaves like (e.g. submissive), or enjoys the inherent power discrepancy between him (a man from the majority group) and a woman from a minority group. Can guarantee he won't see you as an individual or respect you. Making comments about other women is a huge red flag too, as you mentioned.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 07:09 PM
3

Not a trap, but I see how it comes across that way. I added an edit to warn people to keep it vague.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 02:15 AM
18

I went on my first date in several months this week. We talked over dinner. He was kind and respectful towards me. He asked lots of questions, listened, grabbed the check without hesitation. I noticed though, that he didn't stand up when I first arrived at the table. He was very funny, but he made a couple self-deprecating jokes that I found off-putting. He gave me an awkward side hug after he walked me to my car instead of a real hug (maybe personal preference, but I hate that). He didn't text …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 06:45 AM
14

One of my friends has a bunch of LVM from her hometown following her on instagram. Whenever she posts a pictures with our group of girl friends, we all get follow request upon follow request for days. When she posts a picture of just herself and we just comment on it - SAME THING.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 06:26 AM
42

In my pickmeisha days I slid into this guy's DMs because I thought he showed some signs of interest in me, but I rationalized that he was on the job when I met him and it would've been unprofessional for him to act of that interest. True, but I should've let it go. I hunted him down on instagram, followed him, he followed me back, and then I messaged him for days until he stopped responding. I cringe SO hard looking back
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 04:37 AM
8

I relate to this and appreciate this. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 02:56 AM
9

I only have one issue with this - finding multiple men that I actually enjoy spending time with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 11:13 PM
11

Is it tacky to take home food from a first date when he pays? What's the consensus? (I love leftovers!)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 03:01 AM
148

I agree with the second one haha, but the size DOES still matter. "I don't need a fancy diamond engagement ring, he can just buy me a $20 silicone one from Walmart!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 04:45 PM
9

My ex would sometimes admit when he was wrong and shouldn’t have said or done something, but he still could NOT utter the s-word. So frustrating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 07:59 PM
8

Haha that’s a much needed reminder to stop worrying and pull my head out of my ass. Hard to imagine someone not wanting to lock me down!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 04:39 AM
3

Thanks!! Love your username by the way (sadly there is no starfish emoji)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 12:07 AM
2

I feel like that’s a good response if someone asks me over text, but what about in person? On the first date or a few dates in?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 11:13 PM
6

I'm starting to date again via OLD but don't want a relationship (unless I meet someone who really blows me away which I highly doubt will happen). I just want to casually date for the experience, without sex on the table. How do I express through my behavior that I want casual but not that kind of casual? If someone straight up asks me what I'm looking for, should I be honest, and how should I phrase it? I'm prone to guilt and would feel bad if I ended up misleading someone who genuinely liked …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 10:42 PM
5

Exactly. Never go scorched earth - men take any attention as positive attention, it feeds their egos. If you're totally done with him, might as well go silent or block.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 11:18 PM
7

I'm sorry you had to go through that, you deserve so much better. I think she does need to just see the whole thing through. I know I probably wouldn't have listened to a lot of FDS advice before I learned from hard, painful experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 08:05 PM
17

I second this - don't reply. Withdraw attention when he misbehaves (just like you're supposed to do with small children).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 07:57 PM
39

A friend of mine is deep in pickmeisha land. She's being self-destructive and she knows it, too. She's had this on-again off-again fuckbuddy for several months, and she recently revealed to our close group of girl friends that she's falling in love with him. The first time they ended, she ended it because she wanted more than a hookup. Then he reached out again and apologized for the way he treated her. They tried to restart things and made plans to get together one night - she rearranged her tr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 07:44 PM
72

I'm crying. THIS is what I'm holding out for - I'll never settle for less again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 04:12 AM
8

I would maybe give it one more try, could have been a one off? If you consistently don't like his kissing though, you shouldn't have to settle for sexual incompatibility, or have to teach him how to kiss you (you're not in high school and no grown man would take kindly to that).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 02:18 AM
10

What the fuck is with men who love to play the devil's advocate? Why do they always have to disagree? They could never possibly respect a woman's opinions. Do you really want to spend potentially the rest of your life arguing about stupid shit just for the sake of arguing (and disrespecting you)?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 02:14 AM
3

Thanks! I was quite proud of that one - and it was true for the most part, too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 02:06 AM
24

I've been talking to this guy on OLD. He suggested a drinks date and I told him I don't drink on weekdays. He then suggested dinner and asked me what kind of food I like, threw out a few restaurant options and let me choose one. (I gave him the benefit of the doubt because he seems very interested and has been respectful so far). If they want to impress you, they'll put in the effort. You may have to subtly let him know what your standards are and see if he steps up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 06:45 PM
25

That's disgusting. Clearly he just wanted to get you drunk so he could easily hook up. Ew. Is a few free drinks really worth having to spend time in a LVM's company, though? I would much rather stay home.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 06:37 PM
4

Hit the nail on the head. Before he "liked" me, I saw him in the discover section and instead of the "good conversationalist" part, he had written "smart but not a know it all" (= can't be smarter than me because my ego can't handle it / I'll try to make you feel stupid every chance I get)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 06:31 PM
3

I had a guy do this to me recently and though he didn't ask for pictures, I feel like he wanted one in return. And then would probably try to escalate to nudes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 06:22 PM
9

Too true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 09:11 PM
17

EXACTLY. I have high standards, and a lot of them, but I don’t list them on my profile or tell men about them - I’m not trying to make anyone feel insecure about themselves or pretend to be someone they’re not. I keep my standards in my head and don’t waste my time with men who don’t meet them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 09:05 PM
15

Hahaha no. He’s objectively like a 6.5/10 and not my type at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 09:00 PM
93

It's funny how he doesn't seem to realize that his list of demands will turn off the confident type of woman he claims he's looking for, and only attract pickme's who feel they need to prove their worth to him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 06:20 PM
1

Oh I didn’t realize, thanks! That makes sense, it didn’t sit right with me. On to the next!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 05:13 PM
1

Another question about OLD - I’m messaging with a guy on Hinge who didn’t message me back for a full day, as in like 20 hours later. Should I just drop him? If I reply, I think it will give the impression that I’m ok with that, and I’m not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 05:08 PM
0

Fair. I don't plan on seeing him, if he texts me again I'll block.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 01:05 AM
1

Thanks!! Good luck with yours too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/20 04:27 PM
1

Haha good to know! I really don’t think he’s a HVM. he asked me when I’m free and said he’d “make time” and didn’t nail down a day, time, or activity. I’m sure I won’t be free anymore by the time he tries to, if he even does. 💁🏾‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/20 04:25 PM
10

Good work, girl! I've also spent my entire life ignoring my intuition and choosing/staying with the wrong men as a result. I realized last week that family trauma has caused me to shove my negative feelings and instincts about a person under a rug, so to speak, so that I don't have to deal with the pain of confronting them. I'm going to talk to my therapist about it next session. I'm starting to see people clearly for the first time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 05:28 PM
13

If he follows Insta Thots he’s trash and you should run regardless was JUST about to say this! Huge red flag. My ex had had a major childhood crush on a certain Bollywood actress as well so his tastes were probably across the board.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 05:00 PM
3

Question about OLD - if a guy instantly replies to my messages (within 0-3 minutes) pretty consistently on Hinge, is that a sign of something? Kind of makes me wonder if he has nothing better to do, but he otherwise seems like he does - good job while also in grad school and owning a small business, and very active. I tend to space my messages out anywhere from 10 minutes to several hours /overnight. His first message to me was also just telling me I'm pretty (and I matched since he was cute and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 04:14 PM
12

Asking from previous experience with an ex - if we're both brown and his fave celebs are white, would you say that's a sign? On one hand I look nothing like them, and on the other hand there are few Desi celebs in Hollywood. I've always been afraid of ending up with someone who would rather be with a white woman for looks but chooses me due to family expectations/cultural compatibility.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 04:17 AM
7

How do you find out if he doesn't tell you?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 03:58 AM
5

When he makes a passive aggressive comment, you could call him out in front of the other people involved in your hobby. Basically tell him to stop what he's been doing and leave you in peace. Some people need to be embarrassed to behave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 06:50 PM
13

I decided to dip my toe back into dating - I want to meet new people and practice FDS for the first time in a low-stakes way (not looking for a relationship right now). I made a profile on Hinge and was reminded of how low the bar is where I live. Last time I was on the apps I would swipe right on guys that made me think "meh" because there wasn't much better out there. This time, I'm not liking men first and I'm swiping left on 90% of the guys who like me. And if the ones who've matched with me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 06:46 PM
13

Yes. The most beautiful woman I know has terrible self esteem and men treat her like shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 03:15 AM
11

No, you're fine. I feel ghosting is the kinder option in this case, but it doesn't really matter what's kinder because you don't owe him anything. I ghosted a guy I met off a dating app but with whom I tried to see if being friends would work. I realized I didn't even like him as a friend because the only things he liked to do were drink and play pool. What could I say, "you're so dull I don't even like you platonically"?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 05:00 AM
14

She lied to your face, that's reason enough to drop her. And she does sound like the type to try to sleep with your boyfriend to prove that she can.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 04:54 AM
5

Question for all: how do you conduct yourself when running into an ex out and about? I'm sure it's a matter of time in my small city, and I'd like to be prepared. I know my instinct will be to hide/ignore but that's not exactly the classiest thing to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 02:12 AM
16

I was clueless and naive. I'm still working through the shame of having stayed for so long only for him to dump me. He was really just too selfish and oblivious to pay attention and/or care to match his pace to mine. I called him out nearly every time and he would self-correct and then do it again next time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 01:56 AM
74

Sounds like my ex, but worse. He walked a few steps ahead of me when we weren't holding hands. All those yellow flags...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 12:58 AM
19

I love her so much and have been so disappointed in the choices she’s made. I really hope she eventually wakes up and learns to value herself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 10:48 PM
72

And to top it off, she is light years out of his league.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 07:46 PM
6

those comments...the fuck did i read
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 04:19 AM
6

I aspire to live my life like Lizzie Bennet (with or without a Darcy at the end)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 04:06 AM
6

YES we need to put this is in the handbook! So useful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 03:57 AM
20

Exactly! I'm proud of you for having your own back sis! THAT'S what FDS is all about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 02:07 AM
18

I assume this was about being alone on Valentine's Day? Which I was. All I can say is I love my life and I love my own company and seriously pity anyone who doesn't feel the same way about themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 02:06 AM
123

Pickmes can't handle accepting the true nature of men. I found FDS after a breakup and it's literally the reason I'm now happy, focusing on myself and my interests, not pining after my ex or trying to fill the void with mediocre men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 01:48 AM
64

Ew. I once told my ex he needed to clean his moldy bathtub and he went out and got cleaning supplies and cleaned it that afternoon. No way in hell would I have cleaned it for him. It was still pretty moldy after he cleaned it. Men are gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 04:41 PM
4

My go to perfume is Tocca Florence. It's super affordable and smells heavenly if you like florals.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 12:01 AM
33

I'm single af and celebrating with myself and my friends this year and I've honestly never been this excited for Valentine's Day! We're going to a Galentine's event on Thursday night, which should be fun. For Friday, I've booked myself a pedicure with not one but TWO massages and lots of other pampering add ons, then I'm going to happy hour with friends, and plan to make it an early night so I can relax with a face mask and a good book and a glass of wine before bed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 11:58 PM
3

All that and - because I don't have to. It's not hard to find a man that's willing to pay; that's the bare minimum.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 01:05 AM
161

I wouldn’t trust a man to take it consistently and not lie about having taken it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 04:08 PM
10

That's fair. I suppose I felt a little defensive as this post and a lot of the replies use terms like "normal" and "healthy" which I interpreted as suggesting that a different experience is abnormal and unhealthy - that may not have been the intention. We all experience our sexuality in different ways so there is no "normal". I personally don't mind one way or another if someone wants to label themselves as demisexual or not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 12:29 AM
10

Yep. Don't live for anyone else. Respect yourself, and anyone else's opinion won't matter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 11:53 PM
19

I don't really agree with this. A lot of people in this thread seem to be equating "feeling sexual attraction for this person" to "choosing to have sex with this person" and that's just not the case. I can immediately feel physical attraction to someone, and after getting to know them a bit I can feel sexual attraction (if their personality does not make them unattractive to me). At that point, I have some emotional connection to them in that I like them as a person as far as I know them, but ce…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 11:44 PM
6

Not looking or in a relationship. My friends and I are having a Galentine's girls night in for the day before, and Valentine's day I'll probably get a manicure and then relax at home with a face mask and a book.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 11:11 PM
41

Yep. He wants the validation of knowing that you still want him. And that he can get you back anytime if he wanted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 10:03 PM
11

"It's like fucking my mom but she not my fucking mom" Don't settle for a deadbeat, ladies!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 09:51 PM
36

Last time I checked, LinkedIn isn’t a dating site. You could report him for that, you know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 08:16 PM
5

Being a HVW has nothing to do with looking a certain way, beyond the concept of taking care of your health and looking presentable. This sub isn't about appearance or looksmaxxing, r/Vindicta is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 11:58 PM
13

Even if he genuinely means it, the phrase "tired of being single" sounds to me like he's bored with his life and looking for a woman to entertain him. No thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 09:49 PM
11

"Maybe you need to go back to preschool because that's not a feeling."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 09:43 PM
11

Hm I suppose my only hard physical dealbreakers are overweight/chubby, poor hygiene or grooming, and bad style. It's more like I take the man as a whole and ask, am I attracted to him, yes or no? But I generally find receding hairlines, weak jaw or chin, facial hair over 1cm or so, and eyes with a significantly negative canthal tilt unattractive. I like some objectively unattractive features like big noses, slight overbites and crooked teeth, and hairiness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 09:19 PM
7

This is so important. We all have the power to make choices that shape our lives. I'm not currently dating, but I'm applying FDS principles to my existing relationships - distancing myself from family dysfunction and accepting that people will be who they are and it is my choice to continue to pursue the relationship or not. I have one friendship that I've noticed is pretty lopsided; I'm usually the one texting first, and I'm always the one trying to make plans. Once I noticed it, it started to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 08:51 PM
11

The best I've gotten from my ex is "I shouldn't have said that" after I called him out on something he said during conflict, which I suppose is better than a fake apology, but it's still not a full apology. He never once apologized for anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 08:29 PM
2

Thanks! I can see my friends feeling put on the spot if I were to ask them in person, so I think I'll go the text or email route.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 04:05 AM
10

Who he was when you met, wasn't him. It was a facade to pull you in. He has since shown you who really is and what he's capable of. That person, the real him, is not worth being with. Something that has helped me get over someone is making a list of all their major flaws - think about the things he did, what do they say about him? Write it down. And read it. Is that the kind of person you want to be with? Probably not, I know you deserve better and I hope you know it too. Edit: I agree with the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 04:02 AM
41

I think my heart just exploded.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 09:19 PM
1

Apart from the absolute depravity....he poured gasoline on a fire. These are the men whose genes need to be bred out of the species by natural selection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 07:22 PM
26

They want to eat the cake yet keep it full Omg I never really understood the "have your cake and eat it too" expression in its literal form, but it finally makes sense!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 06:47 PM
4

Typical LVM, avoiding any kind of responsibility.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 06:40 PM
8

My ex's friend has been leading on his forever girlfriend for a literal decade. They're cowards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 02:54 AM
14

make sure you burn it though
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 05:28 PM
12

I'm South Asian and have only been fetishized by a particular race of men, whom I've never dated anyway. Any comments about my skin tone or exotic features are a quick red flag. I haven't experienced anything overt like this with white men, but I do hesitate to date them because I can't help but wonder if they don't see me as "wife material" because of my race - especially Jewish guys with the whole "shiksas are for practice" thing with the added racial difference. I prefer to date men of my own…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/20 04:50 AM
8

That's so interesting! I wonder if the emotional symptoms of pregnancy (and of taking BC since it basically tricks your body into thinking it's pregnant) serve the same purpose? Because man, I have spent entire days crying about a shitty relationship after I started BC.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 03:44 AM
48

"I'm proud of you for brushing your teeth before bed!" "Good job throwing your trash out!" So...men are 4-year-olds?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 06:26 AM
6

I got on it for the third time in my life several months ago and got off it after a month. I felt like a an emotional, nauseous mess with hemorrhoids (seriously didn't know that could even happen) and no libido. Never again!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 06:10 AM
18

I agree with this. But do you explicitly communicate from the start that you expect to receive a proposal within your time frame? Or do you keep the time frame to yourself and end it without an ultimatum if you don't receive a proposal?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 04:56 AM
9

Gross. Does the girlfriend know he was about to leave her? She should know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 05:45 PM
25

Savage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 07:48 AM
7

She's saying that people equate how well a woman is treated by men, to her worth. If she's treated poorly, it mean she deserves it because she's "unworthy" of better treatment. That mindset is not true, it's just used to make women feel like shit and accept less from men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 10:50 PM
12

Say it louder! Always remember, the way a person behaves towards you is a reflection on HIM (or her), not you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 10:46 PM
2

Same, girl. I wish I'd known better, earlier. Stay here in FDS and read everything and soon it will become second nature. I don't think I'll ever make the same mistakes again, now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 08:13 AM
14

There was a post about this a while ago, I can't remember what it was called. But it basically stated all men are like this. All men will think less of you if your number is higher than some arbitrary standard (1, 2, 3, whatever). So just don't engage in the conversation. And if a guy cares SO much that he has to straight up ask you - that's a red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 08:07 AM
4

Have you tried Aerie's high waisted panties? Sooo comfy. They cut the amount of wedgies in half haha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 09:04 PM
10

I'm cringing at myself driving to my ex 80% of the time. Finally, I'm learning. Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 08:43 PM
51

I just threw up in my mouth a little bit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 04:35 PM
9

So I'm not dating right now but for the future - according to FDS, the man should be making an effort to travel to the woman's area for dates. If I live in a neighborhood on the outskirts of the city with limited options for restaurants, no cocktail bars, etc., while he lives in the heart of the city with tons of things to do and places to go, how should I handle this? He should at still make at least an equal effort to travel to me, right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 04:33 PM
8

That’s some high school ass behavior. Literally, I’ve seen teen girls do that as a joke where they clearly don’t mean it, and hopefully that is her intention, but it’s still juvenile and hurtful. You’ve talked to her and she dismissed you, so you’ve done all you can do to try to fix the situation and clearly she doesn’t care about your feelings. I would drop her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 04:18 PM
64

I worry about this too. I feel like I helped teach him how be a decent boyfriend and now he'll meet his dreamgirl and treat her so much better than me. But let's be honest, even if it seems like he turned into prince charming for her, people generally don't change that significantly or that quickly, and you don't know what goes on behind closed doors. The only advice I can give is keep your standards high and don't budge on them. And remember that if you ever feel unsure or uneasy about whether …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 06:50 AM
33

After I've deleted each of my exes, I pretend they don't exist anymore. I mean, there's no proof!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 06:35 AM
54

huge chunk of dudes not want to admit that the more a guy cares about a girl They want women, as a class, to accept low effort from men, as a class. There's an indirect benefit to them to convince random women on reddit to lower their expectations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 06:33 AM
10

Ohhh then I would just try to look. I was thinking on a couch or even standing up once you're comfortable spending time alone at one of your homes. Maybe it's just me, but I wouldn't touch his dick over his clothes if it weren't leading up to sex, I feel like that would create expectations. But it could also be a good test to see how he handles not getting what he wants?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 03:06 AM
3

I would suggest taking time off from dating and working on building yourself up. Have you thought about seeing a therapist? I would explore any underlying issues that are causing you to have these early, strong feelings. Ideally, if a near stranger shows disinterest in us, we should move right along without a care.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 02:59 AM
14

lolll you can position your body so that you can ascertain with your thigh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 02:51 AM
19

I just bought Why Men Love Bitches and The Gift of Fear and I got a discount too, woo! I'm excited to finally do some FDS recommended reading!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 10:48 PM
59

I love her response. He probably doesn't wash his dick either because it's "gay". I don't wear boxers, but no man will ever part me from my high-waisted granny panties.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 07:12 PM
7

You were right. He should see there are consequences to not following through on plans with you - losing his time with you altogether. But why do you like him so much after one date? Think about it, you barely know him. Guard your feelings until you get to know him better and see if he’s worth liking. Keep in mind that he has cancelled the second date twice already. It doesn’t seem dating you is a priority to him, for whatever reason. If you continue to go out with him, avoid getting so invested…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 05:49 PM
2

Thank you, I really appreciated hearing that! I acted like a pickmeisha/doormat throughout the relationship, but I am proud of myself for wising up a bit at the end and letting him walk away without resistance and cutting him off with finality. I know I'll hear from him at some point before we both move this year, and I know how I'll handle it - silence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 08:53 PM
12

https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/e017h7/the_dumb_fox_credo/ Here it is! I looked for it yesterday and couldn't find it either - for some reason it's not showing up in searches in the sub, but I found it with a google search.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 07:12 AM
4

Red flag galore. You deserve so much better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 03:39 AM
12

What an emotionally abusive piece of shit. There's nothing to do but block and delete. You'll feel a cocktail of emotions when you do, but most importantly you'll feel so proud of yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 03:15 AM
10

YES. This is exactly the mindset we need. The night my ex broke up with me, I facetimed a friend to talk it through and I remember telling her "if he comes crawling back to me, he'll get a door slammed in his face." He hasn't, but I'm sticking to my plan of action if he ever does. We will NOT be anyone's option.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 01:34 AM
6

https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/a-groom-accused-of-sexually-assaulting-a-teen-waitress-at-his-wedding-says-he-must-be-innocent-due-to-his-wifes-loyalty/news-story/dec58ace644b13f76f65050c705a271f "A groom who was charged with sexually assaulting a teen waitress at his wedding has claimed that the fact his wife has stood by him proves his innocence. " Yes, that's exactly how legal evidence works. I would feel bad for this woman, if she weren't supporting her child rapist husband. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 01:10 AM
67

Only in their wildest dreams will these washed up old men snag a beautiful 18-year-old. I'm in my twenties and have no interest in dating someone 10 years my senior. Last time I was on OLD, I was disappointed by all the receding hairlines and beer bellies I saw on men who were not even 30.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 12:11 AM
99

I'm confused about the context, but the way he texts makes me angry. This is not a rupi kaur poem. edit: It seems he expected you to sit around waiting for him when he never actually made a date with you? Fuck that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/20 07:03 AM
10

And no interest in actually connecting with people. Like, I thought we had a great time and actually connected on the first date, but it turned out to be some kind of formula to get in my pants.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/20 06:06 AM
29

I went on a second date with this guy that basically recreated the same conversation we had on the first date. He told me the same stories and asked me the same questions. It was trippy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/20 02:59 AM
5

Learned my lesson to not be a man’s first girlfriend, because whatever he thinks he wants ain’t it 🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/20 07:27 AM
35

I feel for Kate and believe she definitely deserves better, but she has ironclad pick me tendencies or she would never have stayed with him, royal or not. He only went back to her after the woman he really wanted turned him down. And Kate took him back. I've also heard that she schemed to start at the same university at the same time as Will, but no way to know if that's true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/20 07:11 AM
9

Yes! As if my interests are somehow inferior to his, as well, because he wouldn't do the activities he wasn't interested in that I wanted to do. He broke up with me because of it after he failed to turn me into the person he wanted me to be. It's fine that he wanted a different type of person, but he somehow didn't realize that until he'd wasted a year of my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/20 07:06 AM
37

Also that he never really wanted to marry her, but he spent so many years with her that he was pressured into it by both their families.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/20 06:37 AM
10

I'm in the same place. I got out of a relationship not too long ago and briefly jumped into dating soon after (lasted 2 weeks before I deleted the apps), which just heaped disappointment on top of disappointment. For a moment I considered finding a FWB situation because I miss physical intimacy, but decided it would not be in my best interest to share my body with someone I don't know or trust. I don't want a relationship either. I don't even want to think about a man right now. I need to be alo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/20 01:31 AM
70

“Going to rearrange your insides” EWW. This sounds like incredibly violent rape, no?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/20 06:25 PM
21

Just don’t reply and let his lil brain figure it out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 12:38 AM
2

Do people count just oral or just hand stuff? There’s no standard listed so the numbers will be all over the place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 06:40 PM
4

Pretty sure this is a troll.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 06:36 PM
17

With one guy I dated for around 6 months, I discovered he still had Tinder (where we met) on his phone like 5 months in, and we were in a relationship. When I asked him about it, he justified it by saying "it's not like I'm actually using it". And I shut my mouth because I was leaving the country soon and I knew we would break up then so I felt like I was being unreasonable. I should have dumped him on the spot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 04:53 PM
27

I am so familiar with that script flip. He pursues you for months and is on his best behavior, and when you become exclusive and start returning his affections, he's like "phew, I got her, I can stop now". I've learned never give as much effort, time, love, as he does. Singledom is so much more peaceful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 04:49 PM
33

Also from his herpes post - " . Worst case scenario I'd feel like shit if we had sex without a condom, I gave her herpes then we broke up down the track." He only thinks of himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 04:39 PM
18

Love it when all the red flags come out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 04:36 PM
18

I went back in her post history and she posted about a shitty boyfriend several months ago. It's probably the same shitty boyfriend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 05:54 AM
69

That strong boyfriend? Better hope he doesn't rape you. If he does, it's your fault for choosing badly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 12:40 AM
101

"Don't be a woman"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 12:35 AM
29

LMAO he sent her 30 MORE TEXTS without a response I just can't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 12:33 AM
15

I wholeheartedly agree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 09:43 PM
10

I'm hesitant to question your entire relationship, but I have to wonder why he wasn't thinking long term, and only proposed after an ultimatum.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 08:51 PM
17

Apart from the money issue, I think it's a red flag that he didn't consider what you like, especially when you explicitly told him what you wanted. You're the one who has to wear it, his style doesn't really matter in this case. If I were in your place, I would be kindly but firmly express why I don't like the ring and ask him to return it and get one that is according to your taste. And then observe how he responds - does he listen to you and try to make it up? Or does he sulk about it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 08:47 PM
36

I don't think you're being ungrateful. You said you wanted gold and he didn't listen; 14k gold isn't exactly expensive. He knows you love precious gemstones; he could have gotten you an unconventional engagement ring with an emerald or something, or a smaller diamond. But he thinks it's a real diamond (you said you haven't told him it isn't so it's not like he's disbelieving you) so I can understand that mistake. BUT only $60 for an engagement ring?? I think of an affordable engagement ring as a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 08:36 PM
13

They feel so entitled to, if not our bodies, our time. And they don’t seem to understand what a friend is. I’ve learned never to try to be friends with someone from a dating app (or most straight males in general lol) because it’s just a waste of time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 05:28 PM
20

I have what might be a stupid question. If a guy tries to convince me to do an activity I’ve expressed I don’t want to do (that has nothing to do with the pace of the relationship) for example ax throwing or kayaking, is that showing similar disrespect for my boundaries? I’ve been in this situation before because I’m not exactly adventurous or outdoorsy and they want persuade me. Was never sure how to take it, but it did irritate me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 05:22 PM
54

I've been in a similar situation though without the sex - this guy I had met off a dating app wanted to be just friends and I was cool with that. We got lunch a few times and texted a lot and he just could NOT resist reminding me about every other day that he "just wants to be friends". Yeah, no duh, that's what I agreed to, like there was a chance in hell I'd ever date your ugly ass. He got progressively more clingy until I couldn't take it anymore and had to ghost him. Their fragile egos just …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 04:17 AM
41

One of her rapists wants to sue her for "ruining his life". Bitch, you ruined your own life and this poor girl's as well. But of course he won't face any legal consequences, and probably minimal social and professional consequences.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 06:42 PM
7

This, 100%. He broke up with you? Make him live with the consequences.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 05:23 PM
5

I love this comment - "This chick out here giving men IQ tests through dick pics" That's one way to vet!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 08:22 AM
7

It was probably knee cleavage!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 08:21 AM
10

Years ago...I spent literal months crying over a guy I went on four dates with who then ghosted me. During this time, I humiliated myself by sending him a long, angry text about his ghosting. He replied and apologized. And I almost sent him another text asking for a do-over. Ugh. I could go on and on about the more recent stuff but I don't want to think about it right now, haha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 07:49 AM
4

Not dating right now so I would say "because I want to be".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 07:07 AM
6

You should feel free to speak your truth when you're in the company of people you know you can trust (because they have earned that trust). I'm an open book with my close girlfriends. But it's different with people you don't know well, and especially with men. I think of it as an act of self respect when you keep something to yourself that can potentially be used against you in some way (e.g. you reveal to a date that an ex treated you badly, or you had a troubled childhood --> a man will treat …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 05:56 AM
11

Yes, girl! On to better things. 👏🏽
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 04:27 AM
27

That's awful. I bet any one of her friends would have helped without hesitation. I hope she broke up with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 03:19 AM
10

I'm too agreeable - in the past, I valued 'keeping the peace' over stating my wants and needs. I also had/have weak boundaries. I've tolerated behavior that feels shitty to me because I was too afraid of losing what I thought I wanted (spoiler alert: it was not worth having). A lot of men would take advantage of this, better ones would be turned off. I came out of a breakup a few months ago and started dating too soon afterwards, when I was in a vulnerable state. I'm usually a private person but…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 03:10 AM
16

I thought so too, he could have asked in more lighthearted, less demanding way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 02:45 AM
13

other than to say a thank you for the date I also wouldn't contact him to say thank you for the date, unless he contacted you first to say he had a great time or make sure you got home safe or something (not sure if that's what you meant!).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 09:28 PM
30

I'm used to men inviting me on a second date either the day of the first date or the day after. I think how quickly he asks you out again is a sign of his interest in you and/or his ability to make time to date (if he's very busy). If it took more than 2-3 days I probably wouldn't even consider it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 09:19 PM
6

I always thought it was a bad thing that I don’t have any close Male friends. I always thought there was something wrong with me that I didn't have many guy friends. These days, I couldn't care less. They rarely bring value to my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 09:05 PM
6

The only male friends I've had who have not turned out to be POS have either been gay, or in healthy relationships with women they absolutely adored.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 09:02 PM
19

I personally don't care much for height, but I wouldn't think of shaming any woman, short or tall, for having certain standards for height. Most men refuse to date a woman that's overweight but argue that "you can change your weight, we can't change our height". Well, yeah...exactly. Why should a woman date someone she will never find attractive??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 08:54 PM
2

One dude told me all about how he teaches his male students not to touch girls without consent. He proceeded to grope me on the second date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 08:32 PM
11

I also like coffee dates for the first date, provided it's an independent coffee shop with some character (I'm gonna say no to Starbucks) and he consistently follows up with dinner dates after.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 08:10 PM
12

I'm ok with casual, but not chain restaurant or cheap Chinese takeout casual. The vast majority of restaurant where I live are pretty casual, there are few fine dining spots.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 08:02 PM
4

I honestly thought about making a post about her! Every time she comes on screen I think, "no, girl...no."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 07:59 PM
4

My biggest lesson is...it's not the end of the world to be single, or to end up single. I've been so afraid of ending up alone, but FDS has helped me realize I can lead a full, fulfilling life on my own. I've finally accepted that I may never find "the one" and get married, and no matter what I'll be ok. That realization is so liberating and will also help me keep my standards high.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 07:50 PM
2

Ugh that’s so dangerous. You’re supposed to wait till the pedestrian makes it to the other sidewalk, not see how close you can get without maiming them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 05:14 PM
80

“I don’t want to get into the new year with the 2019 nuisance” KickHimOut2020
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 04:52 PM
2

I found it! https://www.reddit.com/r/WomenLevelUp/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 05:22 AM
23

"(insert anecdote about how he respects women)" = I don't respect women
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 02:39 AM
15

P&P represent! No man can come close to Darcy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 02:25 AM
37

No more letting other people minimize my feelings. YES. When I would ask my ex to do a basic thing for me, and he didn't and I became upset, he would come up with a "rational" explanation of why I had no right to expect that from him and why I was wrong for feeling the way I felt. So done with that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 02:21 AM
20

If he's calling women crazy I'm gonna assume HE'S crazy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 02:16 AM
26

I swear my cortisol levels are through the roof every time I get in the car with a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 02:01 AM
3

I just wrote a whole list out in my brand new journal: I'm creative. I'm open to new experiences and new ideas. I'm curious about the world around me and always eager to learn. I'm intelligent and have strong critical thinking skills. I'm well-read. I'm a strong writer. I'm positive and can see the lesson in every hardship. I'm resilient. I have a strong sense of ethics. I am competent (even though I often don't feel like I am). I'm passionate about improving myself. I'm excited about the life I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 11:48 PM
9

If they're smart enough to be CEOs and surgeons, they're smart enough to learn how to act like a decent human being. They just don't want to. I used to complain to my ex about how his mattress gave me back pain and his pillow gave me neck pain. Did he do anything about either, even when I asked him to? No. He knew I love coffee; he never once offered to buy a cheap coffee machine so I could make coffee at his place, or even do a morning coffee run for me. He revealed his selfishness once he "got…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 06:15 PM
14

I'm so sorry he did that to you. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 05:56 PM
16

Mine too. If my parents had divorced when my siblings and I were young, we would all have been much better off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 04:47 PM
12

Just like dick, male attention is abundant and low value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 01:40 AM
6

He didn’t do the same for me. Exactly. He should either know you/your style well enough by now to get something that is your taste, or ask questions to figure out what you like. He should be trying to please you. While it is the thought the counts, he didn't seem to put much thought into it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 01:23 AM
36

Proud of you! You don't need that kind of attention-seeking energy in your life. Focus on doing what will help YOU move forward.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 01:16 AM
32

Be on high alert for a man who ignores your "no" the first time And before you choose to be alone with him, observe how he reacts when you tell him "no" in non-sexual situations. I had a man recently try to persuade me into going on a date with him (aka got pushy) after I said no. Alarm bells went off in my head.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 06:45 AM
17

How about "Make Men Great Again'? Oh wait...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 04:26 AM
3

According to the NHS: "But we do know that HPV-related oropharyngeal cancer (the part of the throat directly behind the mouth) is twice as common in men than women, and is most common in heterosexual men in their 40s and 50s. This may indicate that giving oral sex to a woman is more risky than giving oral sex to a man. The concentration of HPV in the thinner, moist skin of a woman's genitals (the vulva) is much higher than the amounts in the thicker, dry skin of the penis. This could affect how …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 04:15 AM
5

Women can get pap smears to screen for cervical cancer caused by HPV, while there's no equivalent test for men. There's no standard screening for oral, pharyngeal, or throat cancer at all, though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 03:47 AM
20

He's facetuned his pictures to hell and back. FaLsE aDvErTiSInG
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 03:44 AM
12

HPV is a leading cause of oropharyngeal cancer and there isn't a way to screen for it before symptoms arise. I learned that recently and was horrified.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 03:41 AM
9

Your username is so apt!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 03:06 AM
33

This is a neg response, and an attempt to deflect the question instead of answering directly. And he's trying to make her feel guilty for (correctly) deducing his intentions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 02:59 AM
7

There was a new one for financial strategy, but I can't seem to find it now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/19 10:35 PM
20

thank god
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/19 09:10 PM
17

I would also appreciate examples!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/19 07:52 PM
4

Career: - finish my degree - get a job! Health/Diet: - start flossing daily - work out regularly (at least 2x a week) - cook more, eat more fruits and veggies and less frozen foods - cut out dairy products Personal: - stop procrastinating - work my sh*t out in therapy - read a book a month and finish all the books I started last year - improve my Spanish via a meetup group - start showering at night so I can lather myself in body butter each time (it feels so pampering) - treat myself to a month…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/19 07:13 AM
10

Telling me about a coworker he'd previously hooked up with (to be clear, my pickme ass pried it out of him because I had to know) that had wanted a relationship with him while he just wanted sex. He told me he was upfront about just wanting sex, but I don't know if that was true or not. He continued to hook up with her knowing she wanted more - a better man would have stopped. Showed a lack of empathy and respect for women, and a user mentality. Also, making fun of some random woman (to me) for …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 09:50 PM
16

Never been asked for it, never done it, never will. The main issue here is that he tried to pressure and manipulate you into doing something you were clearly uncomfortable with. Did he care about your feelings?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 09:11 PM
67

The vast majority of men are just not attractive enough to reliably get casual sex without misleading, lies of omission, etc. They know that, that's why they resort to manipulation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 03:03 AM
57

And the fact that they take pleasure in killing innocent animals is just so attractive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 12:27 AM
140

In my region, we've got something even worse than fish pics - dead duck pics. What makes you think I want to see a whole family of ducks you murdered lined up in the trunk of your car while you gloat and grin over them? Yuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 11:45 PM
48

He's overly flattering because he thinks because you're young and inexperienced, sweet words will be enough to win you over and get what he wants from you. Steer clear of him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 11:29 PM
7

Good to know! So allow them to feel comfortable and sit back and observe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 10:27 PM
9

straightforward, I like it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 10:26 PM
17

When someone asks you what you’re looking for, how do you recommend responding?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 07:06 PM
61

A decent man who has at least a moderate amount of respect for you will end it and allow you to move on once he realizes he doesn’t see a future with you (speaking from experience). Most men are not like that unfortunately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/19 08:08 PM
–

Men love it when you make the first move. No shit, it boosts their ego, but then they think “if she wants me without any effort on my part, then surely I can find someone even better.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/19 07:06 PM
67

I wonder why men express sexual attraction in such violent ways?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/19 02:06 AM
10

You go girl! I'd love to hear more about your strategies - please keep posting! By the way, what does PMAB mean?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/19 01:25 AM
1

I unfollowed but didn't block my ex for a few months, while he kept following me. Eventually I decided he didn't deserve to have any kind of access to me or my life, so I just blocked and unblocked him to get him to stop following me. Who cares what he thinks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 11:02 PM
4

I'm in! I'm single and unavailable for the foreseeable future while I focus on my self-growth, my goals, my friends, and my hobbies. Ain't got no time for men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 08:48 PM
21

and 40 year old boys (which he was - shudder)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/19 05:22 AM
77

When I was 22, an irritating Frenchman who was attempting to hit on me apparently mistook me for 30. When I asked him why he thought I was 30, he said “because 22 year old girls are annoying”. I couldn’t tell if he was actively negging me or just incredibly stupid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/19 11:27 PM
2

This is so true. Many times I didn’t even known I wasn’t being treated well - looking back with an FDS mindset, I wasn’t. Other times, I instinctively felt disrespected but still needed second opinions from friends and internet strangers to justify the way I felt because I couldn’t trust my own feelings and instincts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/19 05:29 PM
3

I have definitely internalized the idea that I need a man to take care of me (coming from a conservative immigrant family I’ve heard that message x10) and I’m trying to unlearn that. And I plan to untangle myself financially from my family as soon as I reasonably can - once I do, I hope I can find the courage to stop lying and evading and start asserting my boundaries. I think you’re right that I’ll need a period of time to seek therapy and establish my independence before jumping into dating ag…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/19 05:14 PM
1

I like your strategy - that’s more or less how I’ve approached my family situation in dating. However, I haven’t shown up as very valuable or functional in the past. I’m taking a long break from dating and working on myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/19 05:06 PM
3

Great advice. My pattern is being a doormat while not even realizing I’m quietly seething with resentment. I’m working on being more assertive,enforcing my boundaries, and checking in with myself regularly about how I feel about things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/19 05:04 PM
3

I'm a huge Little Mix fan - Power, Wasabi, Strip, Shoutout to my Ex Ariana Grande - God is a Woman, Successful
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/19 09:11 PM
6

I've been listening to Like a Girl on repeat this entire day!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/19 09:05 PM
4

For family/cultural reasons (in my culture we're not "supposed" to have relationships before marriage, but of course we all have had them), I don't at all. I'll post a man after he proposes to me. I would at least wait until you're exclusive and he does it first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/19 05:52 AM
1

Man, that's bleak. At least you've got your dignity, though! Best of luck with your healing <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/19 11:24 PM
1

Thanks for the input! Have you found that it deters a lot of men (specifically the HVM type)?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/19 10:45 PM
4

I'm sorry if this is too personal a question, but were/are you a virgin? If not, did the men you dated question if you were? I ask because I have had sex with 1 ex-partner, but don't think I want to again until engagement at least. I am not sure how I would respond if/when asked why I want to wait.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/19 03:26 AM
13

I recently decided I wanted to make some more friends - I've made a small group of female friends from Bumble BFF (though I didn't think it would actually work!) and I'm planning to join meetup.org, which I've heard good things about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/19 07:23 PM
28

I needed to hear this! I was just thinking this morning about my ex who broke up with me. I have mostly moved on but I believe what's holding me back is not that I miss *him*, because I don't, really. It's my bruised ego, the feeling of not having been "good enough" for him. But I just need to be good enough for myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/19 04:05 PM
1

This is so important. Not a FOB story, but similar: my cousin was pressured into a quick arranged marriage with a man from her home country (where she was born, though she was mostly raised in the US) because my uncle was sick and the family was afraid of his dying before she was married and settled. Because of the hurry, he wasn't vetted properly. The man emotionally and physically abused her and used her just for a green card. She had the sense to divorce him, thankfully. This was about twenty…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/19 10:02 PM
0

I don't think you know what 'crazy' means.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/18 05:17 PM
0

Where's your data that says all men who are violent towards women are mentally ill? Source please. I know men who have physically and sexually abused their girlfriends - my friends and peers. They're not crazy, they just don't really see women as people.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/18 04:55 PM
2

Hm have you read the news recently?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/18 02:32 AM
2

A guy doesn't have to be crazy to be violent towards women.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/18 02:14 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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