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ironymaiden87 Archive

View 0 posts and 648 comments by ironymaiden87 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

He sounds EXACTLY like my scrote ex. I'm so glad you got out - I stayed with mine for four years. 💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/22 04:44 PM
4

Men who refuse to eat pussy aren't straight. End of. And a man who won't make an effort to make you come before he does is a selfish scrote. I am SO lucky I've predominantly slept with men who insist on a lot of foreplay and get off on my pleasure. I actually didn't realise how rare that is and I really hope I can find it again!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/22 11:00 AM
1

I felt exactly the same way over Easter. It was nice to have a break from work but four days is a lot of time to fill. As an introvert, going out all the time isn't ideal but neither is staying home alone. Sometimes I wish I had someone to just mooch around the house with. I don't even really have anyone to go on holidays with...I really miss that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/22 10:53 AM
75

It's also love-bombing and is something narcissists and manipulators do. HUGE red flag. 🚩🚩🚩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/22 10:26 AM
40

Omg the three pars about housework are my ex in a nutshell. Played the fucking fool so if anything around the house needed to be done I had to do it myself. While also holding a full-time job. What did he do? Sat around on his ass playing video games or wasting gas hooning around in the car I helped pay for because he was too "depressed" to do literally anything else. (I have depression. My friends and entire family have depression. Only being able to do what you enjoy doing is not how it plays …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/22 01:43 PM
901

"I'm worried I've settled and can do better" Lol what a fucking joke. I guarantee this is not the case. What a fucking loser, I hope she dumps his pathetic ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/22 08:38 AM
8

Damn, I absolutely LOVED Fresh Prince when I was a kid, but I'm too scared to watch it now in case it makes me cringe. I need to keep SOMETHING from my '90s childhood sacred. :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/21 09:07 AM
45

Agree completely. Ross is the LAST guy I'd date or sleep with. So fucking annoying. It was always crazy to me that he was presented as even remotely desirable to someone like Rachel, who could obviously do so much better despite being pretty fucking annoying herself. It's that same trope we see over and over again in American television where the male is an ugly dickhead and usually much older and the woman is drop-dead gorgeous. The fact that this show was considered "groundbreaking" just goes …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/21 09:03 AM
289

I was a child when this show started and I grew up with it but it wasn't until I was in my late teens/early 20s that I realised just how bad it was. All the characters irritated me, even when I watched it as a kid. It's like how I watched every episode of Full House that ever aired even though I absolutely loathed every single character. Agree that Phoebe is the only bearable character (although Monica had her moments) and Lisa Kudrow is the best actress out of the lot. Rachel and Ross were the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/21 12:20 PM
10

I would think he was pretty shallow and untrustworthy, to be honest. But I understand why you're asking the question. It depends on the specific situation, and it can be quite confusing. I had something similar happen to me a couple of years ago and it really did my head in. Something told me not to trust him though, and I was right. As Judge Judy says...if it doesn't make sense, it's probably not true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 05:50 AM
5

This 100% sums up how I feel too. And as you get older you learn how to be firmer with your boundaries around LV people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 09:27 AM
22

Walk up my local mountain at night, go swimming at my favourite beach in the nude during the day, wander the city alone at night, maybe finally take acid for the first time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 09:54 AM
72

I avoid the atheist label because of guys like him. It's actually more accurate to say I'm not interested in religion at all, and not even interested in atheism as a concept. I just don't care about any of it. Women understand and respect this. But I haven't met one fucking man who will leave the topic alone even though I've just said I DON'T CARE and am not interested in talking about it. I bet you anything they'd respect my opinion if I were a man. I can't stand men who want to debate, argue a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 10:34 AM
3

Definitely. It's pure narcissism. But when they're in a relationship they're a fucking doormat. That's just what I've observed anyway. I have a narc friend who worshipped the ground her ex walked on (she still does even though they have been broken up two years) but was an absolute narc nightmare to me. I really think that because he picked her she thought that meant the sun shone out her ass. Love is one hell of a drug...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 02:07 AM
49

This is a stone cold fact, and I wish I'd known in my 20s instead of learning it the hard way. At the beginning of my last long-term relationship, my ex was unemployed and broke and I paid for a lot of our dates (jfc why. Why why why). Three years later, after I built him up to the point of him getting his dream job (which paid more than mine, despite the fact that he had no formal education beyond the age of 15 (I wish I were joking), and I have a degree and a diploma), getting him to pay for a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 12:04 PM
7

WOW this guy is oppressive and controlling as fuck. I really hope she dumps him. If she moves in with him he'll ruin her life in more ways than one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 11:49 AM
19

They're pickmes with low self-esteem who need to punch down to make themselves feel better. And preach to others that they've found the key to life or some shit. They're actually just annoying as fuck and causing more harm than good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 11:46 AM
30

There IS a formula (well, strategy). Weed out LVM and NVM. I feel her statement is encouraging women not to vet. I could be reading it wrong but that's my take away from this...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 11:42 AM
2

No. I feel like it might be too triggering for me tbh. I know how they behave is not random. I simply meant I don't know why he sexually assaulted her and not me. I can only put it down to escalation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 04:22 AM
2

One of my exes did. I'm no longer in contact with this girl because I'm pretty sure she and my ex were fooling around together before I broke up with him, but she has alleged (on Twitter, no less) that he sexually assaulted her. It took me a long time to see how this could be true, because we were together four years and he never tried that with me, but he could be physically threatening. There were many times I was afraid he was going to hit me. It's true that they do escalate, just like serial…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 01:20 AM
2

This is what scares and upsets me about my two exes who are narcissistic emotional abusers (apparently I have a type 🙄). I am totally traumatised by what I went through with them and I know they are just doing the same to other girls and they will be left traumatised too. It's so, so upsetting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 11:37 PM
2

I do think it will. No one can go through life the way he has without having things catch up eventually. I hope you have blocked your awful ex! 💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 11:32 PM
12

Yeah, if a woman wrote this we'd all just be like "yep. That's right". It's not special just because it's coming from a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 12:13 PM
10

I truly relate to this so hard right now. I blocked all my exes on social media but my friend casually mentioned last night that my ex has a girlfriend and at first I was like "whatever" and not surprised because he's a manipulative sociopath, but today I got really upset about it. I got upset because he doesn't fucking deserve to have anyone. It's so easy for LVMs to find girlfriends and it feels so unfair. He moved on as soon as I broke up with him in 2017 (with a so-called friend of mine, no …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 12:01 PM
5

I am 33 and also suffer from severe depression, anxiety and PTSD. I don't think I have all the answers, but I will tell you it's important not to push yourself or rush your recovery. I am 11 years older than you and I am still recovering! I'm like you in that doing nothing makes me feel guilty and more depressed, and like you I have a lot of shit going on, and I don't let myself rest very often. The consequence of this is that I have just had a mega breakdown. I spent all of today crying and una…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 09:03 AM
3

Don't worry, I'd feel the same way. If this friendship starts taking a toll on you mentally (it would on me I think!) take a step back. She'll just get defensive if you try to help her. Dating the ex of the woman her husband cheated on her with? That's nuts. Sounds like she's trying to piss off the other woman or something. My ex essentially ran off with a friend of mine and that's like if I went after her ex-husband. Ew.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 05:14 PM
10

It's insane that they think that's a bad way to meet women. That's how WE WANT to be met, and it makes perfect sense that you'd be compatible with someone you have common interests with. I guess because LVM are so insecure they're scared of being rejected by someone they would probably have to see again, whereas if they're rejected by a random woman on the street it's no sweat off their nose. But it's seriously awful for us, not that they care.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 10:21 PM
5

Yeah I think it's an urban legend that she said this; I've read a lot of her work and it sounds nothing like her, for a start. I even went so far as to Google "Sylvia Plath quotes" and only looked at reputable sites and this wasn't on any of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 09:55 PM
2

I would be there with you holding the tank of gasoline lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 09:51 PM
2

I was raised during the '90s but my mum was much older than my friends' mums, and very old-fashioned too. So I was raised to have manners and to be extremely polite, to the point of not turning down offers of food I knew would make me sick... honestly I do think it gave me a bit of a "can't say no because it's not polite" complex, but seeing how kids behave these days towards adults is truly shocking. There has to be a middle ground.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 09:02 PM
6

I'm not interested in engaging with strangers' children, or strangers at all tbh. I'm not an outspoken person and other people's kids aren't my responsibility. Parents need to stop raising little narcissistic sociopaths, end of.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 08:52 PM
6

Yeah my neutral expression is resting bitch face too 😂 still not off-putting enough, apparently...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 08:46 PM
46

Yeah, this really doesn't sound like the language of her era lol. Back then women were called women, not "girls". And rightfully so. I hate how ubiquitous "girls" is now. ETA: I Googled it and all the results I saw credit Sylvia Plath but nothing verifiable. 🤨
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 12:48 PM
54

I wear sunglasses, headphones and now a mask almost every time I leave the house during the day. You'd think my look screams "don't fucking talk to me", and yet... I still get harassed. And yes, scrotes, it IS harassment. We don't take this shit as complimentary. We're not interested.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 12:19 PM
55

This is revolting, but sadly I'm not surprised. I see so many bratty, rude kids these days. It's as if teaching manners and respect are unfashionable now. I go swimming at my local pool quite frequently (3-4 days a week) and EVERY time there are kids around they are either running amok or disrespecting all the adults around them by deliberately splashing and shrieking. Teenagers are the worst for this. And I have observed parents actively encouraging their kids to take over lanes that are meant …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 12:12 PM
59

Definitely. "If I can't see her body because she's related to me then nobody can". 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 11:19 AM
11

Fucking creepy ass control freak.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 11:18 AM
2

Thank you, I'm out now (just woke up from a 12-hour sleep haha). Hopefully it will go away with antibiotics...if not then I'll be back in for more tests 😬 I'm staying optimistic though!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 08:54 PM
2

I'm having the same experience! Some days I'm just like "wow...I don't think I actually hate myself anymore?!" And having nearly all my time to myself has given me a real opportunity to think about what I really want out of life and what kind of career I want. Before I was just sort of ambling along with what I was doing in a boring and unfulfilling job because I was too focused on either finding a partner or on building my partner up instead of myself. There are times, like literally right now …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 09:33 PM
10

What the FUCK did I just read.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 11:46 PM
14

I wouldn't know, I've never met a HVM 😂 I hope you get some good replies, looking forward to reading people's experiences!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 09:51 AM
16

I think you need a long break from men, relationships and even thinking about them. Just focusing on yourself will benefit you a great deal. It might be years but that's okay, nothing is forever. And while you're practicing introspection and levelling up you might meet someone great. I used to think I was almost a sex addict but I haven't slept with a man since October 2018 and honestly I don't really miss it! And now that I don't have sex on my mind constantly I notice I don't attract LVMs anym…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 09:50 AM
12

I always go no contact with exes - I blocked the worst one, the rest I just deleted and I've never looked at their social media again. You fuck with me or my friends or my pets and you might as well be dead as far as I'm concerned. If I did somehow find out any of them (there's one in particular I feel this quite strongly about) were in a proper relationship I would be pissed off, because none of them deserve women in their lives. I'd feel sorry for whoever they're dating and wish I could warn t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 09:27 AM
27

I'm in New Zealand and I still don't want to date yet lol. It blows my mind that anyone in America and most of the rest of the world is even considering dating right now. Especially dating men! They're the ones spreading it with their poor hygiene. Stay away! 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 10:04 AM
18

I disagree. A woman around just for money wouldn't be so quick to throw her own daughter under the bus for a man. She's totally fallen for this guy and has misplaced her priorities. Her daughter should always be number one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 10:12 PM
15

Who the hell would have a problem with a men's only gym? They can have at it as far as I'm concerned.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 11:53 AM
20

I only use the pool at my gym (I hate getting sweaty lol), and the majority of people there are old white dudes who act like they own the place. I'd feel so much more comfortable at a women's only pool and spa.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 11:51 AM
322

This is terrible parenting. She's not just an asshole, she's a shit mother who is setting a very poor example for her daughter. This kind of stuff is going to affect that poor girl for the rest of her life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 11:42 AM
1

Yes, I think it's definitely about control and "owning" the opponent for them. The thing I hate most is when they preface it with "just playing devil's advocate here" and express some horrible opinion. Like just be honest and own the fact that you really think these things! Don't pretend you're really on my side when you're not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 06:35 AM
1

Right? They're just obsessed with dominating us in every way. I want an EQUAL relationship, I don't want to be with someone who has to be superior to me in every way. It's so pathetic and immature. We're not children arguing over a toy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 11:33 PM
18

They know (or maybe don't) that they're actually hollow and boring and need this kind of shit to keep our interest, when really it just drives intelligent high value women away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 11:22 AM
9

This. 100, 1000, 100,000 percent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 11:20 AM
72

"You will feel constantly on guard, until the constant psychological warfare grinds you down and you just give up and passively go along with whatever he wants." This is exactly what happened to me. It was horrible. Men like this are definitely narc control freaks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 02:13 AM
210

Omg, I was actually going to make a thread about this! Specifically about whether enjoying arguments is a LVM thing or a general male thing. One of my exes used to enjoy having stupid debates which really irritated me, and one of my other exes and I would argue CONSTANTLY. I hated it. And two of my male friends (who are probably LVM, one of them definitely is) both say "you can't agree on everything, you need a bit of conflict". I completely fucking disagree. I want a peaceful relationship and l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 11:48 PM
5

Holy shit. Entertainment for days.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 10:09 PM
7

It is if you are genetically predisposed to gain weight easily. I'm a good example of that. All the women on my mum's side of the family have the same body type and if I didn't exercise daily (I do an hour of swimming and a lot of walking, and whatever else I have time for) I'd be huge. I've been vegan 10 years and love eating healthy but when I don't exercise I gain weight like nobody's business. I was 100kg at one point, simply because I just didn't have time to exercise. When I was little my …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 06:33 PM
7

This reads like "I absolutely despise women but I want attention from them so here I am making an extremely poor effort on a dating app". He's probably only after casual sex. Sometimes the trash takes itself out. 🚮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 06:13 PM
13

May the nest post live forever in infamy 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 05:48 PM
19

Lol, Reddit in a nutshell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 05:47 PM
7

Absolutely. It's a tactic used by narcissists to keep your attention on them. In my experience narcissists lie a lot because they know they're actually not very interesting or deep and don't have anything going for them apart from what they make up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 04:53 AM
2

Haha I'm totally not counting on it. But thanks!! And yes, crushes will fuck up your life bigtime. But the good news is that they don't really happen once you reach a certain age (I'm 33). I think because you have a much clearer idea of what you do and don't want and if a guy doesn't tick all your boxes, you're just like "nah". 🙂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 04:49 AM
6

The two who were really into me (and I wasn't really into them - always the way) talked big really early. I ended up being in a relationship with one of them for four years, partly because I did want to believe his future fakery. I had been through a lot and just wanted to believe someone really loved me. But the wheels came off about six months to a year in. I wanted to break up with him but he kept threatening self-harm 😐 He was a bigtime manipulator and emotional abuser who sucked me in early…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 09:53 PM
24

My friend and I had almost this exact conversation yesterday! You're so right. Something I've also noticed about them is that they all think they're SO unique and the issues they face are so huge no one could possibly understand so they just have to struggle alone (cue world's smallest violin playing in the distance). Until, of course, they find the perfect woman to "fix" them 🙄 I had an on and off FWB relationship with this one guy who used to complain to me about the same garbage ("Wah wah I h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 11:56 AM
6

Right?! There's almost no other explanation for how unfathomably awful these profiles are. But we also know males are the irrational sex, so there's that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 11:35 AM
48

Everything OP said, and also don't let "love" blind you. For example, I had three guys future fake with me (and kind of have one trying to do it to me now but that's another story). These three guys were all very different people. The main difference for me was that I was not that into two of them but I was head over heels for one of them. Guess which one I actually believed, even though all three of them were using the EXACT same tactics? Of course, hindsight is 20/20. My point is about the imp…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 11:24 AM
4

Good point. 100% chance of scrotacity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 08:22 AM
2

Yeah we were both just like "hard no" lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 08:21 AM
51

A similar thing happened to a friend and I about a year ago when we were both using Bumble. She and I were hanging out and realised we were talking to the same guy at the same time, and he also knew a mutual male friend of ours (small town 🙄) and was hanging out with him that night. My friend and I met up with them and we didn't care or really find it awkward but the guy kept saying things like "oh this is kinda awkward and weird, I don't want to come between two friends". I literally laughed in…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 12:04 PM
136

Lord this is cringey. Women need to stop being so desperate. I bet he's a scrote too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 11:48 AM
23

This. I couldn't have said it better myself. I was in love with a guy who is just like the one OP described - we had amazing chemistry, I thought he was so nice and genuinely respected women, but he was emotionally unavailable. Men like this are everywhere and they're not special. They're actually predators obsessed with their own ego. I'd put actual money on him just doing this for the attention OP is giving him, and the awesome ego boost he's getting because he knows she's more into him than h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 12:02 PM
2

Same here, I need more strong female friends irl! Most of my friends are pickmes :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 08:50 AM
5

I'm in my early 30s and still recovering from a long, intensely emotionally abusive relationship that ended in 2017, and another more complicated "situationship" that ended in 2018. I feel traumatically scarred from both of them and talking about it here is really helpful. Seeing that what I went through is not rare and there is nothing special or unique about these guys helped me so much. The solidarity I find here is incredible. I honestly never understood men at all until I found FDS. I blame…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 12:10 PM
83

It's not funny. Just an asshole being an asshole.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 09:48 AM
1

Yes, it's cute and funny to keep women oppressed. Sigh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 02:52 AM
44

Honestly it's quite similar in the rest of the western world. They tend to follow American trends. I live in NZ and the only HVMs I know - and I know like, three - are not appropriate for me to date. All the men I've dated have been trash in their own vulgar ways.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 07:06 AM
5

The mental gymnastics he's doing here are actually insane. This just blows my mind. A HUGE thing he's done to you is put you at risk of getting an STI or HPV!! Even if he was using protection there's still risks. It's actually a breach of consent. You did not agree to this risk and you did not agree to be in a non-monogamous relationship. This guy is making me fucking furious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 04:20 AM
7

Yes, all under the guise of "empowerment" which they believe is the only thing women care about 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 02:37 AM
97

Pathetic. And frankly gross that some women are fine with being their boyfriend's mother and even think it's cute. 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 09:42 PM
6

I find myself pulling this face all the time 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 05:44 PM
4

You make a lot of brilliant points here. Tangentially, I am very introverted and "exposure" makes me incredibly uncomfortable. The success through exposure culture we live in makes me feel like a freak and a loser because I can't and won't participate, and I know a lot of introverted women feel the same way. An example of how bad it's gotten is that you basically can't get a good job in my town without knowing the right people. I have a degree, a diploma and 10+ years of work experience behind m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 05:11 PM
105

I think this was probably written by a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 12:03 PM
12

As someone who went on a long weekend trip with a guy as a third date, I would advise against it. What happened with me, for context, is that I went on this trip with the guy and his friends and it was clear he was really into me but I was holding back because I'd only been out of a very long relationship for about seven months and still had trust issues (still do) and the following weekend was my birthday which I invited him to but according to him that was "too much too soon" but apparently us…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 07:29 AM
29

Yeah I was an idiot and got my ex and I tickets to a show overseas for his birthday. We paid for our own flights but on his birthday I shouted everything from breakfast to dinner and everything in between. This was my attempt to show I loved him and was invested in our relationship which was in huge trouble at the time. Meanwhile, he did nothing. I dumped him six months later.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 06:00 AM
39

My ex was outrageous with this shit. He'd do the tiniest thing like wash his own dishes and think he was Superman for it and I should be thanking him. Out-fucking-rageous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 05:57 AM
12

They look like the happiest people on the planet, I love this 😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 05:25 AM
4

I'm fucking dying at this description lol. Thank you, thank you, thank you 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 05:20 AM
-7

Omfg I am sending this to all my female friends right now. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 05:20 AM
15

Big red flag. G'bye.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 05:16 AM
10

I've been wondering the same thing recently. I'm definitely most attracted to guys my exact age (currently 33), and always have been. Two to three years older is fine too. For some reason I am just absolutely not attracted to guys younger than me, even by a year or two. When I was 22 or 23 I had a thing with an older guy (he would have been 30 at the time) and then we reconnected when I was 30 and he was 38 and he hadn't changed AT ALL. In the eight or so years we didn't see each other, I had gr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 11:17 AM
16

Dump him. He's not worth another six months, 4-5 years, or the rest of your life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 10:53 AM
32

I actually quit dating apps because I didn't see a single profile that didn't feature at least one of these red flags. That or they didn't even bother to write anything in their bio, which I absolutely hate. I mean, thanks for showing me right off the bat that you're a no-effort POS though, I guess? It seems in my town dating apps are 99.99% full of bitter, undateable, cheating men. Polyamory/"ethical non-monogamy" is HUGE here. 🙄🙄🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 11:20 AM
32

I've never wanted to get married. It has always looked like a trap for women to me. If you break up with someone it's a break-up and it's nobody's business but if you end your marriage it's a Whole Thing with divorce lawyers and money and family drama. I'm not signing up for that. Also I don't like being the centre of attention so a wedding would make me incredibly uncomfortable. I would like a proposal and an engagement ring because to me that symbolises serious commitment to the level I'm comf…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 10:40 AM
21

It's so interesting that your ex tried to cheat on you, because mine did the same! He could have been cheating on me during the last few months of our relationship for all I know, I don't give a fuck if he was. I do know he was into a "friend" of mine I introduced him to because they were suddenly in a relationship a couple of months after I dumped him. We were together four years and I made him who he is but apparently none of that meant a damn thing to him. Anyway she realised what a scrote he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 10:01 AM
101

This is so true. My ex was so insecure about his lack of education compared to me (even though he earned $20k more than me but that's the fucking tech industry for you) that he'd constantly insult my intelligence and undermine me in public. It happened so much that I started to believe I was a total moron and I stopped speaking up when we were out with friends, especially his friends. Once he was out of my life and I was able to spend time with friends who actually respect me I woke up and reali…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 04:22 AM
1

There are more than two countries and two cultures in the world, you know 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 10:52 AM
1

I did the same thing (except it was my bra) two years ago and I only did it because I had been into this guy for years; I'd never even sent boyfriends sexy pics before. I still feel like a gigantic bozo and honestly quite ashamed for trusting a guy who turned out to be a total predator. I just keep reminding myself that no one is perfect and we all make mistakes, and it also could have turned out so much worse. And hey, at least we're not desperate perverts like these dudes who collect nudes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 10:43 AM
21

All that education and he still can't string a grammatically correct sentence together. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 10:29 AM
3

My words were a little strong, sorry. I'm just sick of people assuming overweight people are that way because they overconsume and it seemed like that's what you were implying. Thank you for clearing that up and sharing your story.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 09:01 PM
2

"...why does wanting something make it OK? Wanting something doesn't mean it's healthy or safe." That's pretty much what I say when people make the "but they're into it" argument with me. They don't have much to say in response. I would like to talk to someone who actually claims to be into being abused during sex rather than these theoretical women who are supposedly to blame for men being into abusing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 08:19 PM
1

Yeah I think that analogy was really unfair. Being overweight can be caused by so many things, such as genetics or medication that literally keeps you alive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 08:14 PM
4

I agree for the most part but I really object to your "fat people" analogy. Sometimes it's genetics, medication or other factors and it's really unfair to judge and call them lazy with no self-control. All the women on my mum's side of the family have the same body type and as soon as I hit puberty I got it too. I went vegetarian as a teen and it didn't help. I developed an eating disorder in my early 20s and lost 35kg. During recovery, which included SSRIs, going vegan and quitting smoking, I g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 08:11 PM
12

I'm 90% sure someone I used to be involved with will end up like this. He's 33 and the kind of guy who always thinks he can do better than whoever he's with so he's always on the lookout for new women to suck in and can never fully commit. And now all his friends are getting married and having kids and he's left behind. I really really hope he doesn't get desperate and knock up some poor girl in her early 20s. No one deserves that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 10:46 AM
10

I was literally just thinking that as I was reading this bullshit delusional article. I look SO much better now (in my early 30s) than I did in my 20s, but the biggest difference is now I actually hold my head up high and I'm not a pickme desperate to be in a relationship. This moron has it all backwards. He WISHES he were right. Someone needs to tell him that writing down his delusions won't make them come true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 10:25 AM
30

I didn't make it that far into the article but that is DISGUSTING. This guy is actually a paedophile and doesn't even bother to hide it. I don't know how, aside from outlawing porn or something, but we have to stop this being normalised. And he's delusional. No 13-year-old is like that. We were ALL awkward, pimply and hormonal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 10:16 AM
16

"For women beyond age 30, a serious relationship is a MUST HAVE item, and she can’t stand being without one" "Male attention, a woman’s main source of self-worth" Absolutely fuck off. This guy is as low value as they get.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 10:08 AM
49

When I very gingerly talk to people about why there's something very wrong with men who get off on abusing and/or degrading women, inevitably the counter argument is "some women are into that though". Are they really though? Were they abused when they were young or were they bullied by their partners into "liking" it? I would genuinely like to know. Conversely there are men who get off on being abused which is also probably rooted in past abuse. Maybe I'm being completely ignorant and there are …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 08:28 AM
139

Literally looking for a free sex worker. The fucking audacity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 06:49 AM
27

Block. He's just going to keep harassing you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 05:12 AM
8

There are two guys in my past I REALLY hope never find girls sad enough to marry and breed with. These guys are absolutely pathetic, both in their 30s and never evolved emotionally beyond the age of 15. I went through hell with them and I know no one else deserves that. These guys cannot and will not change. I hope every woman they try to date in the future sees what they're really like quickly and dumps their asses.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 08:38 AM
20

This is some annoying lovebombing shit. In my life it's always the unattractive weirdos who do this to me and never the guys I'm actually into, lol. I always just ignore them and if it gets to be too much, block them. You've already told this ningnong you're not interested, so I think it's time to block. Some guys refuse to take no for an answer and they're the dangerous ones. He's not listening to you or respecting your boundaries which is how you know this is narcissistic lovebombing and not h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 05:18 AM
8

Women who think it's awesome to be a mother and bangmaid to a grownass man 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 03:56 AM
14

This is pathetic. Pack your own fucking lunch, scrote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 03:54 AM
6

Thank you! I've often felt that all the HVMs in my age range are either taken or moved out of the country but because of covid, lots of people are coming back (we're pretty much covid-free now so it's much safer to be here than overseas), so maybe I'll get lucky, lol. It definitely won't happen until I'm ready though. You are right, being in our 30s doesn't mean we are old and there is definitely hope for the future. 💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 01:11 AM
11

I do feel a bit like I missed out, it's too late for me (I'm in my 30s) and it's very unlikely I'll meet anyone of high value even if I do ever get past my trust issues. But I am also always happy for my friends who are in relationships with HVMs because they truly deserve to be. In most cases though, they met in their 20s, and I wasted my 20s on terrible men. Yes I learned a lot, but I'm still recovering.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 11:43 PM
17

Omg. This is the best thing I've seen all week. You are a queen! 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 09:29 PM
3

I'm the same. I will always pick the location at the very least because like you, I need to be somewhere familiar and safe and be able to get home quickly. I know the staff at all my favourite bars and cafes (I only go to like, two lol), so if the date doesn't go well I know I'll never run into him there because they're very obviously My Places. Also I'm not travelling out of my way for some dude I've never met. Dating is anxiety-inducing enough without having to worry about the dress code of a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 10:43 AM
58

Correct. They're fucking delusional and anything that disrupts their warped narrative (such as women like us) drives them berserk!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 10:29 AM
37

Yes. A boyfriend I had in 2012 was still friends with his first girlfriend (I was his second) who had cheated on him and then left the country with the other guy. That happened in 2008, I think. Apparently he was really mad at her at the time but I guess she didn't want to lose all her friends so she wheedled her way back into the circle and he forgave her. Obviously, I was VERY weirded out that they were still friends after what she did to him, and quite close friends from what I could see. I n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 08:51 AM
3

Dickmes! That's amazing 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 06:02 AM
4

Insecurity I reckon. They're like male pickmes but they don't want commitment, just cheap thrills.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 12:00 AM
6

Reading this kind of thing on FDS, particularly about taking mixed signals as a no, really really helped me. I had a guy giving me mixed signals for a decade and it really hurt and confused me but once I started reading FDS I basically had an epiphany and stopped giving a fuck about that guy. And I won't give a shit about guys doing mixed signals in the future either. Thanks, FDS!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 11:45 PM
3

I truly believe these types are unable to care or think about anything else other than their own ego. It seems they can't see beyond that - how it affects other people is of no consequence to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 11:39 PM
8

You're not alone, you just essentially described my last longterm relationship. I dumped him three years ago but I still feel happy when I think about him dying, lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 08:48 PM
28

This has happened to me NUMEROUS times. At several workplaces, and with a handful of male "friends". Acting very interested in me and then when I seem interested back - and nine times out of ten I'm not, they've just misunderstood me! - they start acting really weird and distant and I get super offended by it because as far as I'm concerned, I haven't done a damn thing to deserve it. I can only put it down to their insecurities and need to satisfy their pathetic egos by trying to get women to ch…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 08:34 AM
29

Right? It's like their way of negging you before you've even fucking matched on the app! Idk what kind of person would swipe right on that, for me it's one of the biggest dating app turn-offs ever, and lordy are there a lot of those.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 07:34 AM
2

I only read a few of her posts but from what I can tell she's kind of an awful person. Sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 06:24 AM
14

It's taken me a long time to realise just how bad it was :/ After I broke up with him I jumped into a bunch of situationship-type things because I thought I was fine but those guys only did more damage. Thank goodness I found FDS, I'm not sure I'd have all the strength I developed over the past year without it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 03:47 AM
6

I've definitely seen some very weird Reddit accounts where half the posts sound like a woman and half sound like a man. People are so strange these days.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 02:51 AM
17

Thank you x
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 10:13 PM
2

I snooped her other posts and it looks like she's the wife of man who has kids from a previous marriage (I'd put good money on him being MUCH older) and hates the first wife/mother of the kids who is single. She even did a post warning men about the complications of divorce court and alimony ffs. I reckon she's not getting enough attention from her husband and is getting validation from Reddit incels who think she's a "cool girl". Jfc what a sad life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 09:59 PM
8

I really thought so too but I looked at her other posts and comments and they're all about make-up and being a pickme, ugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 09:53 PM
13

If anything I like being single a little too much!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 09:52 PM
149

When I dumped my ex and he moved out the last thing I said to him was "you did this", because throughout the relationship he found a way to blame me for EVERYTHING and gaslit me into believing it too. I wanted him to see that I was done taking his shit and for him to always remember that he fucked up. But if I'm honest with myself, I'm still too traumatized from that relationship to give anyone else a chance because there's a part of me that believes they'll all do that to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 09:50 PM
25

Argh this was me with my ex for four years. I was even aware of it at the time but I kept doing it because I didn't want to be single. So glad I saw the light and dumped him. I'll never do any of this again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 09:30 PM
4

Yep, and when he was caught stealing while on the job - as a cop - her father STILL defended him. Honestly I wish he was alive now to see the monster he was really standing up for. He wanted his daughter to marry this guy ffs! Imagine how much crime could have been prevented if men didn't do the whole "bro code" thing. They're just enabling each other so they can all keep doing whatever they want.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 09:22 PM
6

I really hope so!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 07:55 PM
54

Unfortunately some women (usually with low self-esteem) really fall for this stuff though :/ That's why it's important to maintain a high level of self-love and self-respect and keep leveling up for ourselves. As women we're generally taught not to but that's how we end up getting taken advantage of. I think staying away from online dating is important too as it's full of these PUA sociopaths.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 01:31 PM
36

We're not even people to them. Just bodies and minds to be manipulated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 01:13 PM
36

I looked at her other posts to check if it was a man posing as a woman but no. She really is a complete and utter pickme and I can tell she loves having all the LVM incels of Reddit agreeing with her and thinking she's a "cool girl". Internalised misogyny is sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 12:50 PM
22

Correct. I'm having a very frustrating time in the EARONS (serial killer and rapist) sub with idiotic scrotes who are careful not to blame the victims and survivors, because they are also on the sub and are a bunch of brilliant, strong women you wouldn't want to fuck with - but there is an annoying amount of comments about his wife along the lines of "she must have known" and even "maybe she was involved" when it's blatantly obvious she had no idea what her husband was doing and was more than li…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 12:13 PM
110

Fuck these assholes who want us to chase them. The egg don't swim to the sperm, buddy, especially if that sperm is weak as fuck! You're doing well but this guy sounds not worth even one date, I'd unmatch tbh!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 09:42 AM
19

I'm not sure I've seen anyone go from 0 to 100 so quickly. This guy needs YIKES tattooed on his forehead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 09:04 AM
3

It's exhausting just knowing there are men this vile out there!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 11:23 PM
17

I look at this picture and see a depraved creature shamelessly showing off how capable he is of being a rapist and a murderer. I feel very disturbed and genuinely concerned for that girl's safety, and actually for any girl who's ever been near him. Good on you for reporting this, OP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 10:52 AM
2

Yeah I love Nicole and feel like maybe she would be a lot happier if she knew about FDS :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 10:44 AM
3

Better Things is FANTASTIC. I love Pamela Adlon, she is a total queen 💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 10:39 AM
72

Please jebus let this be fake. It has to be fake. I barely have any more hatred to give.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 04:04 AM
36

Tell them they're being fucking rude and inappropriate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 03:44 AM
6

Yep, my ex was number 4. He hated his mother for "not wanting to be a mother" but worshipped his dad despite how absent he was during his childhood 🙄 And he was clearly influenced by his dad to hate his mum. Parents who use their children that way disgust me. My parents split up when I was very young but neither of them EVER said terrible things about each other to me. And yeah my ex was super clingy, possessive, jealous, controlling and would treat self-harm or suicide whenever I tried to break…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 02:58 AM
20

Jordan Peterson? G'BYE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 11:10 PM
6

Since maybe the tail end of last year (which was a terrible year for me mental health-wise) I have been dressing up every time I leave the house. I don't care if people think I'm "overdressed" or whatever, it makes me feel good and gives me confidence. It's all about what makes you feel good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 12:31 AM
12

Lmao I wish I didn't see this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 08:09 AM
29

He almost word for word quoted the definition of narcissist. "A narcissist talks on every subject with authority". Is it just me or are 95% of men blatant narcissists? It's exhausting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 08:08 AM
49

Just another textbook misogynist and narcissist. You're not special, buddy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 08:02 AM
16

I wish I could give you a million upvotes for Burrito Steve, lmao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 12:16 AM
5

Same here. Gomez is the greatest husband of all time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 08:11 PM
12

I love that Addams Family Values is on the list 😁🖤 And Heartbreakers! Great job.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 11:20 AM
11

I know what you mean, my best friend from high school has been with his partner like 11 years and they're not "unclean" but no matter how big their house is (they've lived in a few) there is a HUGE mess in every room. The kitchen is always on the gross side too. I just don't get it. There's only two of them! I live with three friends and two cats and our house is always immaculate. Mess makes me feel mentally ill.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 09:13 AM
8

What the actual fuck did I just read. This has to be fake. 🐦
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 09:02 AM
18

You're not making mountains out of molehills, don't worry. A lot of women do this to their friends. My sort of best friend does it to me when she gets into a relationship. I understand being shy and having a small friend circle - it's about quality, not quantity. I think you should definitely say something to her. It sounds like you really are good friends and I'm sure she doesn't want to be hurting you. If you put a positive spin on it ("I really want to spend more time with you") rather than b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 08:47 AM
7

My ex in a nutshell too. Never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 07:44 PM
25

Tbh the only reason I ever heard of reddit, and then had a bad impression of it, was because of my scrote ex. When he wasn't playing video games or gaslighting me he was on reddit. I'd never date anyone who uses it now that I know how much awful content is allowed here. On that note, is anyone else getting spammed with chat requests all of a sudden? I haven't looked at any of them but the usernames tell me they're all creepy scrotes. I've never used the chat function before so I'm hoping there's…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 07:38 PM
16

Right? It wasn't that long ago that it was fucking normal for guys to always pay on dates, especially the first date. Dating apps, porn and the internet in general have totally ruined society. Women are so disposable to men now and there's no motivation for them to better themselves. And I've been here nearly 7 months and I've NEVER seen any bullshit about falsely accusing men of rape. Unlike men, women actually know that rape is serious and not something to use to take advantage of someone. I h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 08:28 AM
12

Yes, I feel like this too, except I haven't ever wanted to get married. It's really not all it's cracked up to be for women. Don't sign your life away to any man. But I've always wanted a life partner for sex, emotional support, companionship and to buy a house with because goodness knows I'll never afford one on my own in this city (house prices average $2.3 million here). It's feeling more and more like I'll always be alone though because dating apps are SO awful, misogynists are everywhere an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 06:53 AM
48

We all love good men here, we just dislike abusers, degenerates and criminals. How is that not normal anymore?! If I didn't know any better I'd think REDDIT IS TRYING TO NORMALISE ABUSE. That's not what Reddit is doing, is it? IS IT? 😐
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 06:34 AM
32

If it was I wouldn't be here. I have trans friends whom I love dearly and I'd never associate with anti-trans people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 06:30 AM
5

Omg, I've been thinking about this so much lately. Over lockdown my male flatmate and I were hanging out a lot because we're the only ones in the house who like to unwind with a drink every so often (tbh during lockdown it became...very often), and we realised we had a lot in common and know a lot of the same people and I was like "oh this is cool, a new friend!" Then he said a few things here and there that really sounded to me like he was developing a bit of a crush (such as "I think you're so…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 06:22 AM
12

Society and especially the internet which let's be honest, is dominated by misogynists, has taught young women to hate themselves so this is what they do to try to feel better. I'm so depressed that this is the world we're living in now. Honestly the ice caps need to melt faster and kill us all. Most humans don't deserve to live and the ones that do don't want to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 05:56 AM
16

OP, I relate to your post so much. I spent all of 2019 in a deep depression because of what men had done to me but when I found FDS in January this year, I realised I wasn't alone and I truly turned a corner. 2020 hasn't been the best year, obviously, and I really don't think I would have made it this far if I hadn't found this sub. I am so grateful for the strength you've all given me, all the stories we've shared and all the incredible support we give each other. Most of all I'm grateful for t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 05:37 AM
30

Yeah I've just seen the other threads. If FDS is banned I'm outta here. Fuck this misogynist abuse-obsessed site.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 05:22 AM
4

Idk about y'all but I'm not signing up to a racist site. Saidit looks too right wing for me as well. I felt gross just looking at the home page. I would love it if we could have our own website or forum away from all that shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 04:56 AM
19

For real, it's about damn time all this got called out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 04:44 AM
19

Whoa what? Why would it get banned? This is like the tamest subreddit out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 04:39 AM
27

Why don't they all just throw away their careers and become sex workers if it's so great then? 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 10:56 AM
3

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 10:21 AM
24

I understand that you want them to see the light but it's not your responsibility, and people won't change unless they want to. So by all means, help to the extent you're comfortable with, but don't push them or yourself. You come first and it's important to know your limits and boundaries. That's my philosophy with my pickme friends, anyway. I've made the mistake of being "too" helpful in the past and that just attracts emotional vampires and narcissists. I've noticed there's a lot of crossover…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 09:05 AM
6

FORTY FUCKING FIVE?! I cannotttttt. Goes to show you, once an LVM, always an LVM! 🤡🤡🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 01:58 AM
29

All my former partners have been jealous of my intelligence and education. It's especially offensive when you consider the fact that they are all upper middle class white guys who absolutely could have got a good education if they could be bothered, but no, they pissed their privilege away on drugs. And despite their lack of education they still earn more than me, and have parental support too. I worked my ass off during uni at part time jobs because my family has absolutely no money. I had no s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 01:45 AM
76

He's a total fucking asshole, always has been. If he weren't famous he'd be a 4/10. But he is famous so he carries himself like a 10. Prick. I don't like Anna Faris either but she didn't deserve the terrible treatment she got from him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 11:01 PM
34

In the words of the wonderful Margaret Atwood: Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them. This is a fundamental fact that men need to understand. Their "problems" with women are a drop in the pond compared to what women face with men. Get it through your thick skulls that we are people and you are entitled to nothing from us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 10:57 PM
2

It's bad enough that men treat us like that, our friends should definitely be better!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 10:47 PM
17

I told my therapist about it and she said with people like my friend, it's wise to coddle for a while because if you don't they'll never come back to therapy. But she's been seeing this guy for ages now, you'd think it would be time for him to drop some truth bombs? On the other hand, I highly doubt she tells him the whole truth - I'm supposed to be her best friend and I know she lies by omission with me. I also don't think women who have serious issues with men (who doesn't, though) should go t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 03:18 PM
43

You put it perfectly. A placeholder is exactly how some of my friends, especially the more codependent ones, have made me feel. I wish there weren't so many people like that out there. Codependency and narcissism are like plagues on society.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 02:26 PM
37

My friend who is like this does go to therapy but from what she tells me about what he says, it seems like he coddles and enables her narcissism and victim mentality as much as her parents do. It's fucked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 01:33 PM
23

I have a friend like this too but the difference is the guy got her to move to the other side of the planet - after their relationship had already failed several years earlier - and dumped her once she was over there with him. It's been nearly two years since then but she's still obsessed with him, sends him emails (she thinks I can't tell that she's in touch with him) and asks me to cyber stalk him "to find out if he's got engaged" (as if I'm going to fkn do that, ugh). Literally all her friend…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 01:15 PM
35

And especially if he's always boning on about how much he spends. That is such vulgar, unclassy and rude behaviour.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 10:48 AM
15

Yep, I've been played by a fake HVM too. I knew this guy for 10 years and he seemed so great I actually thought "he's way too good for me, he's out of my league". So many girls had crushes on him and I thought they were all way hotter than me. The whole thing really fucked with my self-esteem for years. He seemed to possess so many rare qualities, he seemed to genuinely respect women, always talked about his morals and hated cheaters. Literally our entire friend circle, male and female, thought …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 10:57 PM
10

Foo Fighters lol. So a clown with bad taste in music. What a catch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 10:30 PM
58

Trash like this casually undoes hundreds of years of feminism. Thanks a lot, idiots, you're making the world a worse place for all of us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 10:13 AM
7

Yes. I realised almost every man I've ever met, especially the ones I had romantic relationships with, are LVM. And nearly all my friends are pickmeishas. And so was I in certain ways. Absolutely not anymore though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 10:34 AM
6

You are right to be bothered by this and you don't deserve these snide comments. Talking to him is an option but it won't change his snobby opinion. He's showing who he really is - someone who looks down on people who actually do actual hard work - and that's disgusting imo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 10:28 AM
29

Same here at first 😬😬😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 10:20 AM
20

WOW. That's a new one. I threw up in my mouth a bit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 10:20 AM
13

I wish we could!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 09:53 AM
207

She's also a DJ 😅 My politics are much further left than hers but I'm still stoked she's our PM. The right wing political party here would have screwed up royally for sure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 05:28 AM
3

Oh I fully believe none of them will ever have another long-term relationship again. They're stunted mentally and have all refused to get professional help. They were lucky to get the time they did with me. They're all over the age of 33 now and probably balding and gaining weight. It's too late for them, but it's not too late for me 🙂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 12:44 AM
11

Good for you! Sounds like you're doing great, this is the stuff I love to read on here! 💓 As for what broke me...it was definitely a culmination of things that came to a boiling point from 2017 to 2019. The first six months of 2017 entailed me waking the hell up to just how fucking awful my then-boyfriend was (after four years) and that our relationship was just going to keep getting worse and not better, despite how much I had invested (he went from unemployed, addicted to weed and living with …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 12:58 PM
7

I can relate so much - I also gave my "friend" a second chance, which I massively regret. I was definitely his fallback girl. I'll have to get that book, thanks for mentioning it! He would act like he was super into me, and it even got to the point where we were discussing "making it happen" but then a month or so later, after nothing had really progressed, I told him I couldn't continue being "friends" - or whatever the fuck it was - because I had real feelings for him. His response? "Sorry you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 01:51 PM
3

First of all, this guy should not be dating. He's not fit for it right now. Secondly, you should not be so invested in someone you haven't even met. What he's doing is essentially what my ex did to get me sucked into an unhealthy, codependent and ultimately emotionally abusive relationship. He absolutely should not have been in the dating pool, and I wish I'd been smart enough to see it. Block and delete before you get sucked in any further. This person is not worth your emotional energy and he …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 12:03 PM
10

"Zeroish" 🤡🤡🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 11:50 AM
8

Absolutely the right thing to do. I had a male "friend" who did the same thing to me over the course of a whole decade. Cutting them off properly is the only way to protect yourself from their bullshit. I think they do it purely to feed their own egos.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 11:34 AM
61

They have NO self-respect. The patriarchy has brainwashed them into thinking they're worthless without a man, even if he's as sick and depraved as this one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 07:17 AM
58

First of all, throw the whole man out. There's no saving this one. Secondly, how and why is this shit allowed to exist? It's finding out stuff like this about a prospective partner that totally puts me off dating. I mean at this point I've already given up on humanity so this is just the final nail in the coffin. 💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 07:15 AM
160

"I'm so special and unique and so much better than everyone else." Why do so many guys talk to women like that? You could swap out the words "monogamous" and "polyamorous" for almost anything and you'd have a standard paragraph from any raging narcissist on Tinder. How is anyone impressed by this skiting bullshit?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 07:07 AM
2

Yeah, that fucker made me believe I couldn't do any better than him and unfortunately I haven't proved him wrong yet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 11:24 AM
6

Right? My ex did the same and he was also super insecure about his education (he is super intelligent to be fair but he dropped out of school at age 14 and I have a degree), so he made me feel like an idiot all the time, to the point where I actually believed that I was a total moron. Even after I dumped him it took me months to stop thinking that way about myself. I swear I'll never get sucked in by an insecure guy ever again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 09:55 AM
470

The audacity of this idiot thinking he's a prize. Hope you blocked him!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 10:50 AM
89

BIG YIKES. I know I'm only judging from a couple of texts but he sounds a bit misogynistic to me. His attitude reeks of Cheating Asshole. I feel sorry for his patients. How did he take it when you dumped him?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 05:56 PM
25

Devastating that this is the point humanity is at. In the year 2020.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 05:46 PM
22

I'd say this is more his father's fault than his mother's.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 05:43 PM
5

Yep, the boys were the worst bullies! The girls were backstabbing and "bitchy" but the boys' insults cut right to the core because I cared so much more about what they thought, especially as other girls were getting positive attention from them at the same time. It cut deep. Ugh. Sometimes I think I'm too traumatised by all my experiences with men to ever try to get into a relationship with one again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 05:36 PM
14

It smacks of arrogance and narcissism when they write shit like that. "My mommy told me I'm special and unique so you should think so too, I'm such a prize". 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 10:19 AM
30

I need to send this to ALL my friends... As for myself, I was bullied from when I started school to when I finished so I've never had much self-esteem. But I do have self-respect, which some of my friends sadly lack when it comes to dealing with men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 10:12 AM
36

Lol. I love your cat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 10:29 PM
30

My ex and I got a kitten together and at first she bonded with both of us but as she got bigger he would play rough with her like she was a dog and I told him off every single time because a) she's a little cat, not a big dog, and b) I didn't want her to develop aggression issues (like my ex 🙄). But noooooo he wouldn't listen to the person who knows a shit-tonne about animal behaviour and surprise surprise, she stopped wanting to be around him and would attack him frequently. She NEVER attacked …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 09:59 PM
120

That's awesome! And yeah this guy is DEFINITELY insecure and you intimidated him so he attempted to "bring you down a notch". Insecure guys are absolutely pathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 09:23 PM
24

Either way it's like they don't want to be held accountable for any shitty thing they do and they certainly don't ever want to know about how we feel. So disrespectful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 10:33 AM
27

Literally my ex. Childish, narcissistic and pathetic. He had to be the victim in every fucking situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 10:29 AM
15

I feel the same way. Around my period is when I get the most emotional about it. The rest of the time I'm pretty glad I'm single! It can be confusing for sure. Personally a big problem is that OLD is so terrible it just completely puts me off even trying. I mean, I have beautiful and ambitious friends who have been using it for years with no success. And I just don't have the time or energy to swipe left on 50,000 scrotes to find one good HVM who probably won't be into me anyway. And I've been s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 10:25 AM
2

Absolutely - I was quite a late bloomer with relationships and I didn't have anyone to get advice from so I really, truly didn't know what the hell I was doing. My own feelings confused me all the time and I had undiagnosed and unmedicated anxiety and depression and I was trying to survive uni...I had so much going on but I focused so much on boys and whether they liked me and how I looked and superficial things like that. Sometimes I have "if only I could go back and do things differently" thou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 07:36 AM
4

Lol, where do I begin. The main thing I'm still struggling with is the shame of letting a guy use me. I met him when I was 21 and completely fell for him because he showed interest in me, and then kind of disappeared. He played this hot and cold game with me for 10 years whenever we were both single. Things got intimate, shall we say, and he went cold on me again so I ended the whole thing. I was cut up about it for a whole year but then I found FDS and realised he wasn't special or confused or …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 03:30 AM
4

I completely get it, I was the same. I wanted to fit in but it all made me really uncomfortable physically and psychologically. As if being a teenager isn't confusing enough without having ridiculous and actually pretty disgusting beauty standards shoved in our faces.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 03:10 AM
8

My friend did this. He wasn't even her current boyfriend, he was an ex from 2009. Yes, you read that right. He had moved to the other side of the planet and she dropped everything, including her nice boyfriend (although that relationship was starting to crack tbh), for this emotionally abusive asshole because he said he'd marry her. It lasted maybe three months and she went on to spend 18 months in a foreign country, absolutely miserable, and begging him to take her back while letting him use he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 07:21 PM
30

Absolutely pathetic. I'd rather be alone with my pets forever than live a single day in a relationship like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 07:06 PM
21

Same here. And some of my peers (I'm talking girls aged 14-17) were totally into it and thought it was cool. I thought it was tacky and gross but it still definitely impacted my self-esteem because I recognised the fact that I didn't look like that and from what I could tell, you had to look like that to be desirable and liked. And it sends that message to young girls on purpose to make them think they have to spend money on garbage to fit in and be more like goddamn porn stars. It's so warped a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 06:58 PM
1

That's right. Don't let your time and effort go to waste. Look after yourself!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 06:31 PM
6

Maybe it's a stereotype but they are real people. My ex and all his loser friends were exactly like that. Their top priorities in life were weed and gaming. Goes to show how horrifically low my standards were in my mid-20s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 11:12 AM
1

Same here. I want to be with someone who partakes as much as I do (once a month at most), not someone who is addicted and turns into a violent lunatic every time he runs out and can't get more (my ex).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 11:08 AM
2

If I were you, I would stop initiating anything and pull away. Mentally prepare and plan to leave him. If he doesn't buck his ideas up in one or two weeks, go through with the plan you've devised. I have been in your situation and the above is what I should have done instead of wasting years hoping things would get better. I understand there are serious feelings involved for you - leaving someone you love is obviously incredibly difficult - which is why I suggested giving him a bit of time. But …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 10:56 AM
73

Walk away at the first red flag. There will be many more and they will all get worse. He's not The One. He's one of many. Research narcissistic personality disorder, borderline personality disorder and sociopathy. It will help you to detect manipulators. Don't make excuses for guys who coerce you into performing sexual favours and never blame yourself for it. They will take any opportunity and that's not your fault. You cannot "fix" men. Do not fuck on the first, second or third date. WAIT. Don'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 10:32 AM
11

My ex's lies and gaslighting towards the end of our relationship became completely nonsensical and made him sound borderline insane but somehow that was preferable to telling the truth or admitting I was right about literally anything. It's like he could see he was losing control of me and our relationship and I think the gaslighting was his desperate attempt to control me again. But it just gave me more ammunition to leave. Idiot. Unfortunately his behaviour exacerbated my pre-existing trust is…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 10:49 AM
3

They die alone and are buried in unmarked graves (I hope).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 10:36 AM
6

"I'm a selfish piece of shit who wants to use you". Just put that in your bio and save us all the waste of time, vile scrote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 10:27 AM
5

THE ENTITLEMENT holy shit. Also the age gap?! Eww! She's only 20 and he's pushing her to do all this depraved stuff, it's sickening. He has no respect for her whatsoever and I hope she dumps him before he rapes her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 10:19 AM
4

I see being an empath as a superpower because it means I have higher standards for how I treat people and how I expect to be treated. It's a great way to weed out the shit people in your life and hold the good ones close. I don't put up with any bullshit anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 10:13 AM
7

Don't make time for anyone who doesn't make time for you. People who ditch their friends for romantic relationships are not worth your time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 11:47 AM
14

There's no way I'd ever mention a second date. That's up to him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 11:44 AM
14

I've been struggling with thoughts like this recently too. I won't go into it but I have a few issues that I think make me unattractive (not physically, I'm actually looking my best at the moment, ironically). I have been thinking recently that I feel ready to date again (after two years of working through trauma) but then I remember the issues I have that I currently can't change and I think "it's not worth it because no one will want me right now". It's frustrating that if it's not one thing h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 11:40 AM
35

This is so true. Sometimes I want to cave and try to find a FWB but the best sex is always with people I've actually been in relationships with and had real feelings for, so why would I bother with average sex with someone I don't care about? Better to hold out for the real deal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 11:15 AM
14

Big yikes. This is not true at all and it's honestly pretty fucked up you'd generalise like that. Look at the world around you. The evil is coming from those who are wealthiest because they have the most power and can easily exploit others. Wealthy men are seriously the most dangerous. If you believe wealth = automatically high value, you are dead wrong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 05:01 PM
3

Yikes...well, good to know it was actually all him and not me. I knew it couldn't be a coincidence that it went away after I dumped him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 09:03 AM
2

No need to be sorry lol, he makes me want to vomit too. When I heard he was dating someone I knew after I dumped him I was like HOW. HOW is someone attracted to that. For the record his breath and gingivitis weren't that bad when we started dating. He moved in with me and got even more complacent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 08:59 AM
5

She should definitely just dump him. My stupid-ass ex had gingivitis because he didn't brush his teeth often enough and I caught it somehow (I don't think it's actually contagious usually but I had it despite brushing and flossing twice a day, until I dumped him). His breath smelled like literal shit. And his poor precious little self would get terribly offended and cry if I ever told him he needed to brush his teeth more often 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 04:06 AM
13

This is a great idea but goes to show you've gotta be prepared for some disturbing answers...I'll definitely be using this as an opener if I ever try OLD again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 11:05 AM
13

Toast, packet macaroni and cheese, Monster energy drinks and Mountain Dew.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 10:59 AM
1

OR YOU COULD FUCKING COOK YOUR OWN MEALS, SCROTE. I cannot believe the audacity and downright stupidity of this gigantic asshole. Your girlfriend is not responsible for feeding you!! What a goddamn pathetic baby. I hope she dumps him tomorrow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 10:55 AM
3

Omg, did we date the same fucking guy? That's exactly what my ex was like. He thinks his childhood was super sad and messed up (it wasn't) and blames his mother for all of it (I saw that for the red flag it was but chose to ignore it, ugh). He is super privileged and had no excuse for not getting help. Towards the end of our relationship when things were at their worst, we agreed to go to couples counselling. I wasn't going to let him get away with leaving it all to me to organise so I got a bun…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 11:22 PM
21

This happened to me with someone I had been friends with for TEN YEARS. And I'd always had feelings for him. So of course I thought it was going to turn into something real. Nope. I learned the hard truth that this trusted "friend" had decided I was so worthless to him that he could throw away our decade-long friendship, everything we had shared with each other, all the fun times we had, just to get his rocks off a couple of times. If this kind of thing ever happens to me again I'm blocking them…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 11:46 AM
1

And an American citizen's life has more value to you than the rest of us? Cool, thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 10:34 AM
13

But the gaming industry IS a problem. It's hugely misogynistic - surely you know that - and like all things it needs more input from women. Until that happens I'm going to hate gaming and everything about it, sorry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 10:27 AM
12

Right? My loser ex had "depression" too and it was ALWAYS worse when he stayed inside all the time smoking weed and playing games but he refused to acknowledge it or admit he was addicted to those two things. He never acknowledged how much I helped him either and wouldn't admit that I was right that going out for exercise and socialisation made him feel better. Even though that's just basic fucking science and common sense. And I just want to note - I know depression is real, I have it myself an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 10:25 AM
103

So true. My last longterm boyfriend was a lazy piece of shit gamer. I swear gaming that much does something serious to their brains because they're ALL the same. They're convinced gaming is actually cool and it gives them a false sense of achievement. Sorry, but last time I checked, having an ACTUAL social life where you leave the house and shower every day was cool. Doing chores is cool. Cooking is cool. Being part of a happy, healthy relationship is cool. Sitting inside with the curtains shut,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 06:03 PM
11

If he's never had a longterm relationship then yes, red flag. I was involved with someone like this throughout my early 20s (he was 30), and I didn't see it as a red flag. Then it became apparent he did not know how to be a boyfriend and I was like shit, this IS a red flag so I broke up with him. We reconnected after I came out of a longterm relationship and I was surprised he'd been single that entire time (five years). He's now 40 and yeah, all his "relationships" have been FWB. These men are …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 04:46 AM
1

Yeah, I've been wearing mine for 18 years on my left hand and it's still perfect. It's a silver filigree band. I don't know where it came from but it's my second favourite piece of jewellery after a necklace my dad got me when I was little, "to wear when I'm older". I started wearing it the day he died.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 08:56 PM
1

All my silver is 925 and none of it has tarnished (except earrings I haven't worn in a long time) and none of it has ever turned my skin green. Maybe I just have quality stuff but in saying that, even my cheaper 925 silver hasn't done that. Again, silver is fine if that's what you're into. I actually think gold looks cheaper and kinda tacky and I wouldn't want gold engagement or wedding rings but that's just me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 08:52 PM
2

Mine only gets tarnished if I don't wear it for a long time - so mainly my earrings which I clean regularly anyway. This is going to sound weird to a lot of people but I actually think gold jewellery looks kinda cheap and tacky lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 08:45 PM
24

I agree with your point but gotta say silver doesn't tarnish easily or quickly. I was given a silver ring when I was 15 and I only ever take it off when I go swimming. I'm now 33 and it's still as beautiful as it ever was. I'm a bit confused as to why you'd say silver is shit when it isn't. I personally prefer the look of it to anything else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 08:11 AM
5

Look, not everyone lives in the States. Things are different in other countries. Please calm down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 07:21 AM
15

Same here, also in my 30s and probably going to be alone forever because I just won't date someone with kids, especially if they're under the age of 10. But even teenage kids would be a nightmare I reckon.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 12:45 AM
11

I have lots of straight male friends but it's normal in my country to have big mixed gender friend circles and households. Most of my male friends I've met through uni, friends and my flat. My two oldest and best friends are two guys from high school, one gay and one straight and married. Both absolute HVMs. There have only been two sleazeballs who wanted to use me for sex and they both had the same first name lol. It's worth applying the HVM/LVM train of thought to friendships as well as dating…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 09:34 PM
51

Gross. I'd never date someone with kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 09:22 PM
14

You are right to an extent but in general sleeping with your friends is something you do in your early 20s when you're naive and experimenting and don't know any better and I don't know if it should be shamed so heavily. If you're still doing FWB shit in your 30s, or even past the age of 25, well yeah, you might be a bit of a pickme and an idiot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 09:20 PM
24

I wonder if this was actually written by a woman? Idk I'm just frankly surprised that a 20-year-old male would be this insightful and emotionally intelligent. I once had a FWB relationship that was kind of like that. I'd never call him "the nicest guy ever" though. It's sad that simply being considerate and not forcing girls into sex is considered amazing to some women. Really goes to show the lack of quality out there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 09:16 PM
12

Same, I would love some tips on this too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 11:49 AM
6

So true. That's exactly what my ex did. Four years of holding me hostage with threats of suicide and self-harm but as soon as he lined someone else up (someone I was FRIENDS with too) he didn't care that I wanted to jump ship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 04:52 AM
1

I only take a couple of minutes cos I have a very healthy diet haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 04:51 AM
64

YES. This is yet another awful trait my ex had. He'd be in the bathroom with his phone for like 40 minutes at a time. Yes it's disgusting and my ex had a terrible diet so I'd say it's a sign of a messed up digestive system too. None of my male flatmates do it so I don't believe it's "a guy thing". I think it's an LVM thing. He was a gamer so I think he was just playing games but still. They're like babies who can't be without their blankies 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 10:28 AM
150

It disgusts me the way men jump on dating apps as soon as their long-term relationship ends instead of reflecting and working on themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 10:19 AM
55

Who the hell is this gross motherfucker? 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 08:53 PM
62

It's important in the beginning but you have to be smart about it and not let your thinking be clouded by it. The person I had the best chemistry with ended up by fucking me over bigtime and I wish I hadn't been so totally hoodwinked by it. Chemistry can seem real but it also could be a Low Value Male pulling the wool over your eyes. Allow yourself to feel the chemistry first but keep vetting at the same time. Make sure it's real before you let yourself become invested. Time will tell you the tr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 11:00 AM
16

Yeah, you know they're saying it either to be cruel or because it's what they really want, or both.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 09:28 PM
11

Oh this was after four years of emotional abuse and the most recent thing he'd started doing was accusing me of wanting to cheat on him with one of my friends (who lived with his gf on the other side of the country, just to give you some context of how batshit insane my ex was). I had just had enough and the final straw was him being out with his workmates - which I was always fine with - but it had got to 2am and he hadn't replied to a single message I'd sent him and I wanted to go to bed and n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 09:24 PM
325

Same here! He was being an asshole and said "maybe I should move out then" and I said "ok cool you have a week". 😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 11:15 AM
9

I have this issue with one of my friends. She's barely been single since she was a teenager but her therapist has told her to "take a break from boys". And now that covid is happening...anyway. I've also been single for a couple of years now and what bothers me is that she assumes I feel as bad as she does about being single. But I don't...so often it feels like she's deliberately trying to bring me down with her negativity. Lockdown has been great because I've gotten a break from her lol. I try…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 08:25 AM
17

21 is still super young. I hadn't had my first kiss yet then either, that and sex didn't happen until I was 22. I felt bad about it too and lost my virginity to a total asshole just to get it over and done with - I wouldn't advise doing that. It's totally fine to take things at your own pace and maybe consider counseling or therapy if you find your feelings are getting too overwhelming. Talking it out can really help and you may have some fantastic breakthroughs - analyzing past trauma can expla…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 08:09 AM
14

Yes. Porn has turned men into total fucking idiots with no emotional intelligence or empathy towards women. I truly believe porn is hugely responsible for why HVMs are completely outnumbered by LVMs. It's not the only reason, of course, but it's definitely a big one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 12:15 AM
21

This is revolting and sad. I'm actually nauseous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 10:57 PM
8

Breath play??? Jfc these people are DELUSIONAL. 🤦‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 08:51 PM
12

Same here. It's so normal for men and women to be friends, to live together and for us to have big mixed gender friend circles in my country it would be a red flag if a guy didn't have female friends. It would look to me as if they don't get along with women in general. And being possessive and controlling are LV traits whether you're male or female.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 10:42 AM
154

My ex called me a "little slut" during sex once and I was like "what the fuck did you just say?" He was confused that I didn't like it?! I said "don't ever call me that or anything similar ever again." You better believe he never did. I don't give a good god damn what gets people off if it doesn't get me off too. Sex is about TWO people, not one, and it's about compatibility. Trying new things can be fun but if you don't like it you don't have to keep doing it. I can't stand men who think sex is…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 10:02 AM
2

Like the others, I see this less as following rules and more about retraining your brain out of an anxious attachment style (which I unfortunately have), and valuing your partner/relationship over yourself. It's about continuing to put yourself first and being mentally healthy. I found this post very helpful because I get very anxious in relationships (and in general), and it's hard to know how to keep it from sabotaging things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 10:28 PM
7

Good! One monster down, several billion to go lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 06:40 AM
8

Yes. This is 100% my problem with her and Lena Dunham as well. (Lena is much worse imo).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 12:08 AM
12

I don't "hate" Taylor Swift but I certainly don't think she's anything special. I don't admire her. And Lena Dunham is simply awful. I see both of them, especially Lena, as boring, entitled white women, producing content for other entitled white women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 12:07 AM
44

Um John needs to be on a police watchlist. Only 22 and he's talking about murdering women? Yikes. I would have reported his profile. That shit ain't funny.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 12:02 AM
4

Are you fkn serious? The premise was a teenage girl struggling to deal with the loss of her father! She's focusing on boys because she doesn't want to deal with her dad's death. If you've never dealt with anything like that in your life I guess I can see why you'd read the entire show incorrectly but there's no need to be a dick about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 11:38 PM
1

I should have dumped him four months into the relationship instead of four years lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 11:36 PM
2

I really don't think that's the message but okay.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 11:33 PM
27

I used to sit around bored when I'd stay at my ex's for the weekend while he gamed 90% of the time and it sucked. I'll never date a gamer ever again. I don't know what I was thinking with that one, seriously.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 11:54 AM
14

Exactly! I can't believe people are reading this show so weirdly. It definitely isn't promoting being a shit friend and running off with fuckboys.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 11:52 AM
10

I legit don't see how you took that message from the show. To me the message was "deal with your trauma or face the consequences". And she doesn't end up with the shit fuckboy anyway so you can hardly say the show is saying "crappy men are the answer to all our problems".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 11:50 AM
17

Uhhh the show doesn't support that at all, if anything it's the total opposite? Her friends completely ditched her for running off with the fuckboy, and rightfully so. Also the girl is grieving her father and dealing with a mother who is really hard on her, of course she's going to act abnormally. Idk what show you were watching but the message is certainly not "act the way Devi acts".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 11:47 AM
17

Yes, absolutely. In the past I've been attracted to mentally unstable men because they seem "complicated" and "intense". Narcissists and sociopaths can also sense that I'm an empath and a nurturer and they make a beeline to me and I end up manipulated and hurt. And I'm usually put off by anyone who's actually sane because I find them "boring". 🙁 I'm now more aware of this than ever though and I'm working hard to change my perspective and I think it's working. The real test will be when I try dat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 02:26 AM
1

Oh weird, I had no idea. I mean I'm not a huge fan of hers anyway but I thought I would have heard about a new single or album at least.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 02:20 AM
20

First of all, that "friend" of yours is toxic. Cut her out, and therefore you'll be cutting that terrible guy out of your life too. Next, find a good therapist. You might have to try a couple before you find the right one, but it will be worth it. You have a lot to work through but in the end it will all be okay. You will have learned a lot from the experience. You already sound like a mature, sensible and strong person and good on you for leaving that asshole. I was also taken advantage of by a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 09:30 AM
18

Yiiiiikes. I've totally had the opposite experience. People are taking social distancing really seriously in general. I feel so much safer when I go on walks now, sometimes I even go at night. I'm almost sad our lockdown is ending soon.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 09:16 AM
165

I fucking hate Elon Musk. I feel like Grimes must have got brainwashed or something because wtf. What sane woman gives up all her principles (and probably her music career) to be with some freakish asshole and agree to name her child XYZ or whatever the fuck it is?! 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 07:07 AM
42

I love her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 07:01 AM
3

Personally I only post on SM when I'm happy (so like never, lmao) but I do know that some people are the opposite and are doing it to get attention from others because their partner isn't providing them with any, or something else is lacking in the relationship. It all really depends on the individual. I would be pretty offended if someone accused me of posting all the time because I'm actually unhappy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 05:04 AM
10

Umm...this was totally written by a man. This is what LVMs wish women were like. If not, she needs help. This is so gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 04:56 AM
6

Absolutely. In my country it would go straight to the courts. The university would have barely anything to do with it. And I think that's exactly why things like that don't happen here much, if ever. I can't think of any time crime occured at any campus here. The biggest thing happening at the uni I went to is the fucked up white supremacist posters that keep being put up all over the place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 04:53 AM
18

Right?! Cosmo has always been pickme trash.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 12:14 PM
5

I love this post, thank you! It's exactly what I needed to read right now. I was made redundant a couple of months ago and the industry I was in has all but crumbled and because my country is in lockdown I haven't really had proper motivation to figure out what to do next. But the prospect of lockdown ending soon (my country is almost covid-free), and this post have definitely lit a fire under my ass! Time to find my purpose. I think once I do the rest will fall into place and I hope for the sam…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 09:12 AM
22

Normally I wouldn't but in early 2018, when I was the heaviest I've ever been, having just come out of a terrible longterm relationship, I was getting a lot of attention and action lol. It was only at the end of that year, when a short but intense relationship ended badly, that I really started to focus on my weight and diet. I was so depressed and down on myself I didn't date anyone for a whole year. One of the things that upset me the most was looking back at my early 20s when I had an eating …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 08:54 AM
4

I totally get where you're coming from, I met my LVM ex when I was 26 and he moved into my house a year after we started dating. There were red flags from day one but I was wearing rose tinted glasses, and all the red flags just looked like flags. I contemplated leaving him for so long and I wish I'd just gone with my first instinct instead of leaving it for four effing years. You are so lucky you're only 26 and already ready to leave him. I'm 33 and I've been single (aside from a few flings) si…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 07:10 AM
7

"Friends" like that are exhausting. It's total pickme behaviour. I have one friend who was even worse - when she was in this one relationship in particular, not only did I not hear from her much but when I did her ego was through the roof (I guess because this guy was SO AMAZING and he picked her 🙄) and she was a total nightmare to be around. I actually ended my friendship with her because her behaviour was so obscene. She became a total snob and was openly rude to my other friends. She broke up…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 09:31 PM
40

I know way too many women who do this. I honestly don't think they realise they're being bad friends and hurting people but I'm not out to try to teach people who won't change. So I just keep my distance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 11:23 AM
11

Never heard of kik but I agree with everyone else here - NEXT that motherfucker. Low value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 01:08 AM
20

This is very true...I swing both ways but have only had long term relationships with guys for some reason. The women I've fallen for showed themselves to be as low value as the men I've fallen for. I have pretty bad taste I think but I'm working on it 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 01:06 AM
223

I'm not crying, you are 😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 12:50 AM
1

That's fair enough, and also on birthdays everyone attending should pay and not the birthday person!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 12:48 AM
36

This is so stupid. I have a lot of male friends and never in my life have I gone to dinner or anything with them and expected them to pay. And I don't know any woman who has or would?! LVMs are so utterly delusional.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 05:08 AM
16

Nope. I had one who kept coming back into my life and I let it happen because we were supposedly friends but eventually his game became blatantly obvious and I called it. And I'll never message him again. He can try message me but I'll never respond.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 07:53 AM
14

This. And all the unrealistic, ridiculous female characters written by male chauvinist douchebags.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 01:11 AM
4

It's funny how your perspective changes through time and experience. I used to think having a boyfriend was so important and meant you'd won at life but they've all caused me so much more trouble than they're worth. I now see that having that old perspective made me a pickmeisha and it was no wonder I was attracting garbage men who happily took advantage of me. But now I'd much rather be alone than deal with men like that and life is so much better! I also believe that when you change from being…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 04:42 PM
6

I know what you mean - I freak out when someone seems interested in me too. It's this weird combination of anxiety and excitement, I totally understand what you mean but I don't understand the feeling itself! The only thing I can put it down to is that I've been hurt so badly so many times that I associate any "romance" with getting heartbroken. That's why it's endgame only now...if someone wants to be with me they can let me know on NO uncertain terms. The one who messed me around the worst is …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 11:51 AM
9

I have never, ever wanted marriage. Mainly due to the technicalities and also not having any good role models growing up. But I have always wanted a long term relationship. That has been a constant. When I was younger I thought, I can have that without the contracts. Now that I'm older and have experienced a lot I see that men need the idea of contractual commitment in their minds. So the next time I start a relationship (lord, if that ever happens), I won't be mentioning that I don't want marri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 09:30 AM
3

Mountain Dew?!??! 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 10:07 PM
6

Staying friends with exes is always a bad call imo. You're just allowing potential drama to arise at some point. Bet you anything he'll come crying to you saying he wants you back and if you already know you don't want to be with him, that's just unnecessary drama for you - ie, "how do I say no" - and unnecessary pain for him. It's always best for both parties to cut their losses imo. Moving on takes longer if you don't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 10:06 PM
21

This. SO MUCH. Do not have a kid if you don't know how the fuck to raise it right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 10:01 PM
3

I'm trying! It's just with the lockdown sometimes the loneliness gets to me - I'm used to seeing my friends frequently and feeling loved by them but currently I'm not very good at reaching out because I don't want to seem needy and things like that. But I have been doing a lot of work on myself and reminding myself every day that relying on others for self-worth isn't healthy so I am feeling good about that at least. Thanks 🙂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 08:12 PM
45

You are so right. I (stupidly) dated three men in their late 30s when I was 30 and guess what! They're not any more mature at that age! If anything they get worse because they expect more from women. 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 09:37 PM
51

Wonderful to hear! I could have written this post myself. The only difference is that with life being so different currently (my country has been in lockdown for five weeks) I'm struggling not to have a pickmeisha-style relapse but reading posts like this really helps! 💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 11:07 AM
3

Yeah, I have a friend who is exactly the same. She never likes pics of me, or places I go, she only likes pics of my cats lol. I guess because in her mind, if I'm posting pics of them I'm at home having a boring time like she is. We actually had a huge fight a couple of months ago about me "having so much fun" with all my friends except her. Her insecurities impacted on me too and I noticed I felt so much better seeing my other friends more and her less. A lot of people have come to rely on soci…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 10:57 PM
41

I think it's a red flag if a guy has a gf but never ever posts pics or really talks about her. A case in point is a guy I was friends with for 10 years. He didn't have a gf when we met but I knew his ex. When he added me on FB I looked through his pics (cos I was into him lol) and there were zero pics of her. And they were together for years! I later found out he was a shit boyfriend and made no effort with her. I know her better now and sadly she is an extreme pickme. Probably has a lot to do w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 01:33 PM
23

I am exactly the same and that's why I find dating apps extremely difficult. I just can't be "attracted" to a couple of photos and text on a screen. Plus 99.9% of the guys on there are LVMs! So honestly my advice would be to not even bother with dating apps and once quarantine/lockdown is over, consider taking a class in something you've always been interested in, or pick up a new hobby that involves getting out and meeting people. That's my plan anyway. Since my last LTR ended 2.5 years ago I t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 10:45 AM
2

Ah okay, thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 06:00 AM
76

Sadly men are like that everywhere. I live somewhere very very far from the US and they are EXACTLY like that here too. It's a pandemic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 10:30 PM
16

This 100%. I can appreciate certain people for their work but that's as far as it goes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 10:28 PM
14

I don't even know who they are lol (I'm not American or British).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 10:27 PM
31

Came here to say this haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 09:27 PM
3

Oh man, same. There was one person in particular I had crazy chemistry with (or so I thought, even years later it still feels real), but he just ended up by playing with my heart for literally years. I'm still really scarred by it and I can't trust my own intuition about people anymore. It's horrible but you're right, forming strong boundaries early on when you meet anyone at all is the way to go. I wonder when the next time I meet a new person will be 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 08:06 PM
18

Yeah, it was like I grew up being told all the time that I sucked so being treated like I'm "less than" and not good enough is actually more comfortable for me than being treated well. Like, I don't know how to take a compliment. It always takes me by surprise and usually all I can manage is an awkward "thank you". I think narcs also detect genuine, empathetic people and stick to them so they can use and manipulate them. Narcissists have really done a number on me :/ I've been in therapy a long …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 09:51 AM
11

Throw the whole clown away. I feel so sorry for women in these situations. She clearly feels totally powerless. 🙁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 08:37 AM
11

UGH they're SO stupid and have no self-awareness!! Fucking wake up and look around at the world, deadshits. They're just so obsessed with themselves, it's pathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 08:34 AM
26

I have been surrounded by these people all my life. My mother, my ex who I was with for many years, a guy I was in love with for a long time who messed me around, and my "best friend". It's exhausting and sometimes it feels like I can't find anyone who isn't like this. 🙁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 08:24 AM
1

I honestly don't know anything about "influencers", it's not something I've ever paid attention to. I was talking more in a general sense about how women are manipulated into exploiting themselves ultimately for men's benefit, and how we all have to be constantly aware of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 06:51 AM
22

This 100%. Our horrible misogynistic culture allows and encourages women to actively exploit themselves under the guise of "empowerment". It's fucking sad but all you can do is keep your eyes wide open and stay strong. And be grateful you haven't been reduced to this for money or attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 10:50 PM
3

Yeah she sounds pretty HVM apart from the dating married men part, because they're obviously LVM. I guess she's having fun exploiting them in a way? And I'm kind of all for that lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 10:47 PM
20

It's so pathetic and frankly a huge turn-off when a guy expects a gold star or a fucking blowjob for performing basic human functions like COOKING and CLEANING. Really it's bottom of the barrel shit. I put up with four years of it from my ex and it did my head in. Even worse was when he procrastinated to the point where I just got frustrated and would do the chore myself. It's a huge sign of disrespect. I knew he didn't treat his male flatmates like that before he moved in to my house. Asshole.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 09:35 AM
55

A man lying about his age on a dating app is straight up one of the skeeziest, creepiest, most disgusting things out. My friend's mega-creep of an ex takes 20 years off his real age on OLD. Unfortunately he looks much younger than his real age so he gets away with it. He also lies about not having kids. Ugh the things these scrotes try to get away with!! 😡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 09:28 AM
4

No...I don't want to say exactly, but I'm in the Southern Hemisphere 🙂 Never been happier to live exactly where I live, tbh! The rest of the world looks very scary right now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 10:50 AM
6

It's incredibly sad that some women feel like they would have to say this. I guess I'm lucky (?!) that 98% of men I've slept with have been ALL about getting me off first. So that's what I expect and I don't think that's unusual. No BDSM shit either. Sex should always be about what the woman wants. It's not hard for a guy to cum.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 11:02 AM
25

26??? LOL he wishes! 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 10:48 AM
15

I don't understand how anyone can be thinking about dating or "meeting up" right now. Do they not know what quarantine means? Do they not know anything about how incredibly contagious this virus is? In my country we're not allowed to leave our houses except for walks and to go to the supermarket, and we're not allowed to see anyone outside our household. And you know what? It's working. We only had 19 new cases today. Sorry I just can't fathom how people aren't prioritizing their own safety and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 09:28 AM
1

Schools and universities here are planning on opening again in July, but who knows how it will really play out...the plan is for our lockdown to end on April 20 but I think that's too early. This virus got my anxiety running at full throttle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 07:31 PM
3

Regardless of what sketchy bullshit he's up to, it's obvious he has absolutely no respect for her and that's the real problem here. DUMP. HIS. ASS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 11:06 AM
12

Women are constantly told that if they have standards they are "high maintenance" (and many other horrible lies). It's why the bar for men is now so low it might as well not exist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 11:02 AM
6

Damn, I'm really sorry to hear that. It's very different in my country but our government has taken a certain approach to this that many other countries haven't, and it's working because most people are actually following the rules. When I go for walks there are always lots of people out walking, running or biking but they're all keeping their distance from each other and I usually see plenty of cop cars out on patrol. Cops make me feel anxious af normally but I know they're just there to make s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 10:57 AM
4

I feel like this EVERY DAY now. And this must be how men feel their entire lives but without even having to think about it! For years I opted to pay money to gyms to get my exercise because going for long walks, even during the day, made me anxious. Now I'm walking 10+ kilometres a day around my neighbourhood! I know it's bad to say due to the wider context of the situation but I'm loving it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 10:46 AM
8

They have to meet my grooming and hygiene standards but taste in looks is subjective. What's ugly to you could be hot to me and vice versa. And obviously I wouldn't date someone I wasn't attracted to. That goes without saying for the majority of people. It's not shallow, it's completely normal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 10:33 AM
69

And they like to say women aren't rational lol. This guy takes the nonsensical cake. I've never read something so illogical and absolutely removed from the point in my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 10:28 AM
2

Thank fucking goodness. Men like that deserve to die alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 11:41 PM
4

There isn't a vomit emoji in the world big enough for this. If I saw the fucker irl I'd vomit on him personally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 11:49 AM
11

My thoughts exactly. I don't like the control freak vibes I'm getting from this guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 11:47 AM
19

This made me snort water through my nose, thank you 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 11:37 AM
19

"Let both sides free" means men literally plotting to rape and murder women soooooo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 11:35 AM
415

Good lord. "Other holes"?! This man is a piece of dog shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 11:26 AM
6

This is a really good point. I've dated a clinger/parental seeker/addict (he was all of them plus sprinklings of various other disorders), an unavailable and a predator. I'd like to think I'd see the signs early on now but I don't know - I still don't trust my own judgement. Is there one on normal/high value men so I can spot that when I see it?! Legit don't know if I could tell the difference between healthy behavior and manipulative behavior. ☹
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 09:33 PM
3

Me too!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 11:39 AM
31

Ugh, all my relationships have been with these types of men. And people wonder why I'm put off dating and feel scarred for life...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 11:30 AM
12

Wow, these are exactly the kind of thoughts I've been having lately. Before my country went into lockdown, I was working on myself and not thinking about guys at all. I'd been off dating apps for months (not that I ever invested much time or effort into them because they are awful), and not even really thinking about sex that much. My attitude was "if the right guy comes along, great, but if not, I'll be fine on my own. I'm not settling ever again." But since the lockdown started two weeks ago, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 11:23 AM
88

Stories like this help others stay strong, so thank you for sharing. I feel like a HVW in most areas of my life but when there's a guy around I find myself reverting to my old pickme tendencies. Reading this reminded me exactly why I'm trying to rid myself of those tendencies, and that there are good men out there. You're doing great 🙂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 11:00 AM
1

That's amazing and honestly very encouraging to hear! I think I'm doing the right thing by being alone because since I broke up with my ex I keep getting played with by people - like, actual longterm friends of mine! - who confess that they've always been into me and then ghost me. It's SO fucked and it hurts way more when it's a friend rather than some fucko off a dating app (obviously I stay the fuck away from those). Anyway, my point is that being alone is good for me right now and FDS really…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 10:11 PM
32

The worst is when you think you're over that "one" but you find yourself comparing potential partners to them, and then you start to feel like you can't trust your own judgement about guys! This is kind of happening to me at the moment and it sucks. I knew my "one" for 10 years and thought I had him figured out but noooope I was completely wrong about him, he'd actually just been manipulating the hell out of me. So now I feel like I can't trust anyone who seems like they're being nice to me, or …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 12:31 PM
4

Absolutely. Forgot to mention in my other comment, I've slept with guys who shave their pubes and it's SO much better. I'm pretty sure they got the idea from porn but still. I agree that beards hide their real face. I saw some old photos of my ex from before I met him and was like "yikes", lol. Totally wouldn't have dated him if i knew he really looked like that 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 11:27 AM
23

I pretty much came here to say this. I gave a scrote what could have been the best years of my life because I didn't think I deserved better. And during that relationship I was CONSTANTLY putting my own feelings aside for him. I didn't realise how common this scenario was until I joined FDS. Thank fuck I did, because seeing the light has been incredible and exactly what I needed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 09:18 AM
9

Same lol, I like sex with both men and women but the thing I love about women is that they're soft and not hairy. My male ex made no effort with self-grooming aside from his stupid beard and it was so gross. If I have to remove all my body hair to be attractive to you, you can make a goddamn effort with grooming too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 09:10 AM
3

Exactly. I tried to break up with him so many times but he would threaten to harm or kill himself. I was finally "allowed" to break up with him when he got eyes for someone else (who I had introduced him to!!). Not that I knew it at the time, but the fact that they got together so quickly after I broke up with him made it obvious. So even though I think she's vile for dating a friend's ex without so much as simply asking me, "is this okay?" (I would have said yes but first let me tell you what y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 08:51 PM
27

ALL OF THIS is my ex. And it was all obvious within the first six months of the relationship. But I kept persisting - "he's a great person despite all the issues, and he loves me" - and ended up trapped with an emotionally disturbed narcissist for four fucking years. I wish this shit was taught in high school or something. Like sex ed. I wish EVERY woman had easy access to this information. It can be lifesaving in many cases.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 10:52 AM
10

Ugh fuck this pickme-promoting shit. 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 04:55 AM
33

You are living with trauma, and that's an incredibly difficult thing to bear. My first piece of advice would be to start therapy as soon as you can. I know it's hard to seek help, I can be the same way. But having come from that place I can say that I only wish I sought help years earlier because things get so much better when you look after yourself properly, and therapy is part of that. Secondly, and following on from that point, being in this relationship is not helping you. He is bringing yo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 04:50 AM
8

Damn girl. Nailed it. 🙌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 04:36 AM
3

Yeah, I don't feel like a loser for not having any weekend plans, because nobody else does either! 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 08:37 PM
3

I have a friend a little like that too, she gives literally every guy a chance because she wants marriage and kids that badly. And surprise surprise, she's been burned SO many times. And then tells me I'm going to stay alone because my standards are too high. Lol okay then.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 08:36 PM
4

You are so right, and I hate to admit it but I am mostly enjoying the lockdown. Right before all this started I got made redundant and was really stressed 24/7 about finding a new job, and at least now I don't have to worry about that. What I'm getting from the government isn't much but I don't have much to spend it on! And now the industry I was in is pretty much over and it'll stay that way even after all this so I'm making tentative plans to go back to uni. When I can make myself focus, that …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 08:32 PM
2

Thanks! Yeah I am doing my best but struggling to focus on what I should be. So I'm doing lots of exercise, luckily I live in a very beautiful part of the world so there are nice places I can go (we are still allowed to go on walks around our neighbourhood). And my legs are looking great 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 08:26 PM
11

The thumbs up emojis are killing me 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 11:23 AM
11

My ex was like this. It's one of the reasons he's my ex. Dump his ass. He doesn't deserve you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 11:22 AM
6

This isn't exactly news, it's been well-documented since January that Covid-19 kills more men than women. Do Americans really ignore everything that's happening in the world until it affects them directly? Anyway. This is pretty savage of me but I kind of hope Covid kills off those filthy, unhygienic fuckboy couch dwellers and we're left with HVMs who were being sensible from the start and at the very least, former LVMs who have been scared into changing their ways.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 11:18 AM
20

Exactly! I'm sick of people telling me my standards are "too high". I earned the right to have high standards, motherfucker! I also don't think "not wanting to be treated like a fleshlight" is exactly a "high" standard anyway! It's sad what women have been conditioned to put up with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 11:07 AM
9

This is exactly how I felt before my country went into lockdown, but now that we're here my mindset has shifted to "wah, enforced celibacy, wah, I'm single, wah, I'm going to die alone" lol. It's so stupid and I have to keep reminding myself where I was at before all this madness started!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 11:03 AM
13

I wouldn't say my ex was less intelligent than me, but he was less educated and resented me for it. He'd deliberately try to make me look stupid in social situations and even in private, to the point where I actually started to believe I was a total idiot. It wasn't until quite a while after I dumped him that I snapped out of it and realized just how much he'd been putting me down. Another ex, on the other hand, was definitely less intelligent than me and I just couldn't respect him. Not for tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 12:48 PM
31

Dating is not important during a pandemic. You should be staying home. Are you aware that the countries doing the best against Covid-19 are the ones on full lockdown? Dating should not be important when you're 20. Focus on your schooling and career. This motherfucker is clearly LVM. The red flags are blinding me. Eight years is a crazy age gap. People who are 20 and people who are 28 are at completely different stages of life. And don't get me started on the condom thing. This guy sounds like a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 08:16 PM
2

I can only imagine how much more worse off I'd be if I actually ended up in a real relationship with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 08:26 AM
4

The weirdest thing is that I could kind of tell he was from the beginning (2008). But I still liked him and was probably thinking "MaYbE I cAn HeLp HiM" 🤦‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 03:24 AM
9

Right? I have NEVER been a pursuer and that asshole had already burned me once, I wasn't going to let it happen again. What kind of pathetic dude tries to manipulate girls into making moves anyway??? I think he's deeply insecure and hates himself. And is also addicted to porn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 01:43 AM
7

Exactly. And these pieces of shit take NO responsibility for the part they play in these situations. It's all about the ego boost for them and they care so little about us that they gaslight and say "I never meant to come across that way, you interpreted it wrong". Ugh. Not gonna lie, I have huge trust issues now because of what I went through with that guy. I feel like now I can't trust my own perception of men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 08:49 PM
1

I wouldn't define myself as dominant or submissive and I think it's problematic that so many people think they have to be one or the other. When I'm in a relationship, sex is about love and passion, and if I'm with a FWB (not something I do anymore) sex is about fun and pleasure. If you know the person it's easy to communicate what each of you like. I think I'm quite lucky in that the majority of people I've slept with are VERY into getting me off, which means I don't have to try very hard to ge…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 11:53 AM
2

Thanks ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 10:09 AM
1

This 100%. And most women on this sub are much older than the age of a high school graduate and we've seen and been through some shit. There really are a shit ton of bad men out there. I already knew that when I was your age, OP. Clearly you've had better experiences, and that's just luck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 09:49 AM
38

Kept me in a constant state of confusion, played "will we won't we" and breadcrumbed me for years. From the moment we met (in 2008) there was chemistry and a certain intensity I've never had with anyone else. That makes everything so much more confusing and complicated. We got very close and were hanging out a lot in 2011. He came to a party at my house and got super drunk (I realized later he was probably thinking he'd be staying the night) and right when he was about to make a move I blurted o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 08:34 AM
3

"Shouldn't HVM be dominant?" Absolutely not. Men who are "dominant" in the bedroom generally get off on abuse. A man who is submissive in the bedroom and just wants to be spanked is completely different and I would say it's pretty innocent. I love a man who does what I want sexually, it's fantastic. Dumping him over this would be very silly and unfair imo, he sounds like a great guy. But if she's asking you to post this she may be looking for a reason to break up with him. She could just send hi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 09:03 PM
3

I'm not, I got made redundant a few months ago and because of the pandemic I have no chance of getting a new job for who knows how long. But I still have all the nice things I bought when I was making money. It's comforting at a time like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 08:47 PM
12

I'm still dressing up every day. Fuck it, I need things that make me feel good right now. I didn't buy these expensive clothes to sit in my wardrobe for months.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 10:47 AM
4

Yeah but it took me a whole year to stop questioning myself and whether I made the right choice. I know now I did but boy was that a fkn journey.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 10:11 AM
7

Right?! It took me a year to recover too. 2019 was absolute garbage for me because of him. And yes they're not honest with themselves either. I knew the chemistry between us was unlike anything either of us had ever felt before but he just couldn't face it. I get it to an extent, because if we had tried and it didn't work out it would have been an incredibly harrowing heartbreak (for me, for sure) but obviously losing me completely was way easier for him so in my mind, he's just a cowardly piece…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 06:22 AM
2

Yeah I mean we talk about other shit all the time but it definitely feels like he's fishing for compliments when he sends those selfies. I never say anything particularly nice back so I'm just hoping he'll get the picture eventually lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 06:15 AM
16

I have a friend who does this and I don't understand it either! I think it's because we hooked up once a couple of years ago and he's since moved to another city and I guess he thinks I'm attracted to him even though I absolutely am not? I just hooked up with him because I'd just come out of a long relationship, and then a short one, and I was feeling super messed up. He knew that too. He's sent me SO many unsolicited selfies lol. I never know what to say back! I've never ever sent him any. I th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 05:04 PM
34

Ugh I was into a guy like this for pretty much my entire 20s. Nothing physical ever happened because I wanted us to be "official" first and the way he was acting, I thought, "any day now". Noooope. He played me for years, and he weaseled his way back into my life in 2018 right after I had dumped my longterm boyfriend. Messed me up again potentially even worse than before with his confusing behavior. As someone else said in this thread, shy introverted dudes can be the worst, most manipulative fu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 04:45 PM
2

This 100%! Being possessive and jealous is not nice, normal male behavior and it should always be seen as the red flag it is and should NEVER be normalized. Unfortunately it is pretty normalized in popular culture and it pushes women to accept it as normal male behavior and accept being treated like a possession. You're just settling for less if you accept this. You're settling for a man who doesn't trust you or love you, he just wants to own you. Believe me, I've been there!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 07:31 PM
3

You cannot generalize like that. I have a lot of HVM friends with wives and girlfriends and they're absolutely not out to fuck their female friends. Edited to add: I notice a lot of American posters saying "straight men aren't your friends, they have ulterior motives". What you need to understand is things are different in other countries and cultures. Where I live it's completely fine and normal for women to have male friends and flatmates. We can tell when they have ulterior motives and when t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 07:13 PM
3

Karma's a bitch 😏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 07:11 PM
23

It's a little vain maybe but I'm most proud of all the weight I've lost over the past few months, which I initially gained during a miserable relationship. I picked up swimming and would go every day for an hour. Obviously I can't now because of the lockdown but I'm going for big walks instead, otherwise my mental health will suffer. Swimming was my calm, happy, meditative time. I'm also proud of myself for sticking it out with therapy even though it's very expensive. I think that and FDS have h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 09:56 PM
16

Oh dear, that's horrible :/ that's why I'm so grateful for FDS, it teaches us to put ourselves first and run from massive red flags like that. I hope other great opportunities have come your way since. My ex wanted me to cut off my friend too but I flatly refused because that's a completely unreasonable request and doing so would have been like admitting I had romantic feelings for said friend when I didn't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 09:15 PM
31

It's fucking disgusting how they're so desperate to manipulate the situation so you're the bad guy therefore whatever they're doing is justified. I'm not entirely sure if my ex was cheating on me. We lived together and he was home every night but still, there are ways, and I wouldn't put it past him. But if anything I wish it had all happened sooner so I wouldn't have wasted so many years in that relationship lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 09:11 PM
132

True facts. In the last year of my last relationship my ex got totally wound up over a particular friend of mine - who lived with his girlfriend on the other side of the country - and would accuse me of "emotionally cheating" and would try to look at my phone all the time and constantly ask who I was talking to. He basically convinced himself that I was going to run off with this friend even though it was literally impossible. His behavior became so horrible and emotionally abusive (and he had b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 05:31 PM
17

Dead animal photos - this is the biggest one. Hunting and guns are the biggest turn-offs imaginable for me. Repulsive. Ugly No bio Poorly written bio, misogynistic bio, bragging about his dick bio, any mention of BDSM in the bio, etc etc Only one photo Only group photos where it's totally unclear who the fuck he is Religious Has kids and wants more or wants kids someday Clearly lying about his age Any red flags that make it obvious he expects women to do all the work because he thinks he's the p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 05:09 PM
34

I don't use OLD anymore because I found it to be a waste of time - very few guys worth swiping right on, and the ones I did match with barely bothered talking - but my conditions for swiping right are similar to yours. Must be physically attractive to me. I found this difficult on OLD because many guys have no idea what a good photo of themselves looks like, and I just find it hard to be attracted to a photo on a phone. Attraction for me is all about in-person chemistry. They have to have writte…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 04:46 PM
7

In my opinion this behavior is completely unacceptable. I think you're seeing his true colors - he's selfish and careless and has no respect for anyone but himself. This is absolutely a dumpable offense. Get. Rid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 10:13 AM
5

Only insecure LVM misogynist scrotes dislike intelligent women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 12:53 PM
34

This is not cognitive dissonance. Cognitive dissonance, for plain example, is saying "I love all animals equally" while eating a cow. Basically, it's total hypocrisy. It's saying you believe in something while actively doing the complete opposite. Calling a piece of shit LVM out on his despicable bullshit is not cognitive dissonance. This shit makes me so mad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 12:51 PM
1

You will get past that. I felt like second choice in all my relationships but once you realize you don't need a relationship to be happy, you won't give a damn what any man thinks. And that's the key to everything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 09:09 AM
2

I also got super fit! It's like we're living parallel lives 😂 Your friend sounds exactly like mine, she disappears when she has a boyfriend but when she doesn't she treats me like a stand-in for one. At least your friend has some good qualities...I don't think mine really does lol. She's always treated me like I'm below her but I started standing up for myself and showing that I'm absolutely not below her and she really doesn't like it. I've stayed friends with her out of a sense of obligation r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 08:24 PM
2

*international.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 11:11 AM
2

Who the hell is thinking about dating in person right now??? LVMS AND PICKMEISHAS, THAT'S WHO. STOP IT.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 11:09 AM
3

I would stop putting your qualities into boxes like that and just focus on being yourself. It sounds like you have some great qualities and I don't think you need to change, except to work on the self-doubt you are holding. You can't be your best self - and therefore attract the best people for you - if you are constantly doubting and putting yourself down. Focus on your best qualities and bring them out. Labeling them as feminine and masculine is problematic. I know I'm not the most "feminine" …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 11:01 AM
29

I use high effort and low effort too, or "decent guys" and "complete and utter fucking shitbags".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 10:20 AM
3

100%. I still get angry at myself and feel regret for wasting so much time on horrible men. But I have to keep reminding myself that I was young and I just didn't know there was another way to live. And that's down to patriarchal brainwashing imo. Thank goodness we've seen the light. I often feel very sorry for whoever dates my exes now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 11:54 PM
4

Absolutely the right decision to make. For me it's between this or being miserable over guys the rest of my life. The best choice is obvious! Let's be real, the majority of guys out there are LVMs and they would waste our time and hurt us. Without them bringing us down we are free to hold our heads high and work on ourselves to be the best we can be and eventually we will meet someone who deserves us. Or we may not. But we'll still be our best selves and feeling proud of what we've accomplished,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 09:19 PM
6

This friend of mine is so desperate she moved to the other side of the planet to be with a total piece of shit she dated in 2009. Guess how that turned out. And yeah she has plenty of strong single friends too but I'm pretty sure she sees us all as losers. Anyway, enough about her. I'm so glad your mental health is going well! I'm also 33, haha. One of the things that is helping my mental health in a huge way is, like you, sticking up for myself more, and spending less time with that boy-crazy f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 06:52 PM
19

The condescending "friend" is also single and MISERABLE about it. Her entire endgame in life is to have a man. So she can't fathom the fact that two of her friends no longer give a flying fuck about 'em. She wants to stay in her pickmeisha bubble where she is right and being desperate for a man is totally fine and normal and deep down every woman is like that! It's fiiiiine, she's doing the right thing, guys. It's those happy, secure single women who are wrong and deluded! Ahem, pardon the sarca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 12:24 PM
2

LOL your response is gold.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 12:00 PM
7

I think he's really butthurt and not over this girl or being dumped by her and he's trying to feel better. What he doesn't know is that he's coming off way worse. Arrogance is a huge turn-off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 11:59 AM
7

This guy sounds like traaaaaaaash. Also that's exactly why LVM tell women to pursue men. So they can feel like they're better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 11:55 AM
5

This is part of my leveling up too! Improving my wardrobe so I always have something glamorous to wear really helps my confidence. I get dressed up to go to the supermarket, fuck it. Of course with the current situation I'm just getting dressed up to potter in my garden or go for a walk around the block but at least I feel hot doing it. 💅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 11:50 AM
11

Yes. My ex would deliberately half-ass chores or procrastinate to the point of me losing my shit and doing the chore myself. For a clean freak like me it's INFURIATING. Especially because you know you're being manipulated but by getting angry about "such a small thing I said I was going to do" you look crazy. My blood is boiling just thinking about it. I wish I dumped him the first time he tried it instead of giving him the benefit of the doubt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 11:43 AM
4

This is my ex to a T. When I read stories like this I really hate myself for wasting four years on that scrote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 11:37 AM
3

Where I live the situation is far behind where most of the rest of the world is at but because of the stupid testing restrictions - in my country they won't test you unless you've recently been overseas or been in contact with someone who has been overseas - many people are working from home already and I HOPE - are actually practicing self-isolation properly. I was made redundant from my job and have zero chance of getting a new one now, so I am self-isolating for safety. My housemates are esse…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 11:19 AM
49

You are speaking my language. It's like you looked into my brain and typed out my thoughts. I completely and utterly can't be bothered with dating either but I'm not ruling it out for the future. I don't want marriage and kids either so I'm in no hurry. Obviously this is also a terrible time to date so I'm glad for that excuse in a weird way. But yeah, I am sick of being judged for being a single woman. I think women who put us down for not letting our lives revolve around men are jealous, to be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 10:46 AM
2

Really not trying to come off as contemptuous. I'm just surprised anyone would bother right now. For me it's the last priority on my list at the moment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 11:49 PM
23

You've hit the nail on the head. They're not the special amazing couple that Musk's fanboys make them out to be. They're just a classic LVM and pickmeisha. I feel very sorry for Grimes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 11:11 AM
25

Men make the same excuse for Steve Jobs. It's vile but such predictable LVM behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 11:07 AM
6

I always had a feeling he was a prick. This proves it. Reminds me of Steve Jobs who was also a total asshole in his personal life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 11:04 AM
1

Why would you download dating apps NOW? This is literally the worst time in our collective living history to date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 10:57 AM
7

Same here. I was made redundant right at the end of 2019 and spent a lot of time freaking out over not having a job but now there's literally no chance of me getting a full-time job in my field and I also don't want to be going all over town for job interviews and meeting new people at a time like this. So even though the world is a total mess, I can kind of relax about the things in my personal life that aren't ideal. I'm really enjoying staying home and reading books, picking up hobbies I've a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 10:44 AM
5

I can't believe anyone would even WANT to date right now?? Just going to the goddamn supermarket is risky at the moment. Stay home, self-reflect, work on yourself, pick up a new hobby, study something you've always been interested in but never had time for, and STAY SAFE. Dating right now is not good for anyone's physical or mental health! LVMs are definitely the only guys dating right now and they are toxic and unhygienic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 10:29 AM
25

It sucks that horrible misogynistic junk food and porn-addicted neckbeard gamers are probably going to survive the pandemic because they never leave the house. What a damn shame.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 10:16 AM
5

OH HELL NAW. That piece of shit belongs on the kerb where she left him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 11:47 AM
8

I've been in this situation for years but this year her toxic shit finally broke me (on top of the endless complaining and boy drama she treats me like her own personal doormat while also having ridiculous expectations of me). I've made it pretty clear that I want distance and I think she's finally got the picture and is leaching someone else's emotional energy instead of mine...just like when she has a boyfriend. It feels fantastic to be free tbh. I know you want to be a good person and a good …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 11:41 AM
19

It's never the ones you might actually want to hear from either lol. It's always the worst person you ever dated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 11:11 AM
3

That makes a lot of sense, thanks 🙂 I am not ready to start dating again but when I am I will bear your advice in mind. And yeah...I do feel quite used. Thinking back to the last couple of times we hung out she did talk a lot about how she was sick of how shit men are and that she "might as well be with a woman" or words to that effect. So it would make sense that she is seriously questioning her sexuality and used me as an experiment. I guess she doesn't care as much about me and our friendship…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 11:56 PM
3

On the night we hooked up she was saying things like "yeah I've done this with a few of my friends" so I didn't think what we were doing would be any kind of big deal...and I specifically said "okay, we can do this as long as it doesn't affect our friendship or make things weird". But despite all that she probably is confused and I'm really disappointed our friendship has gone south. I had been wanting to become better friends with her before all that happened. But there are lots of red flags I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 09:00 PM
1

LVMs are the reason this virus is spreading. They are filthy and unhygienic and don't give a flying fuck about anyone but themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 12:18 PM
1

Lots. I always have. But as I get older I'm more selective with which ones I allow to get close to me because it can take a long time to figure out their motivations, which is something I don't generally need to think about with female friends. In my country it's totally commonplace to have platonic friends of either gender. I can see why many women on FDS disapprove but it's important to remember we all come from different countries and cultural backgrounds.
/r/askFDS18/03/20 11:34 AM
34

That's what terrifies me about men and porn. The escalation. They could be a lovely guy to your face but what kind of fucked up porn do they get off to, you know? For me it's yet another reason to never trust men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 10:36 AM
29

I'm so fucking over how stupid straight men are. Of course they're all addicted to porn and masturbating. Absolute morons. They don't deserve us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 10:32 AM
11

Omg. This post needs 10,000 awards. So many times I have torn my hair out wondering "why are men my age SO SHIT???" I didn't have a remotely conventional childhood so I haven't made these particular observations firsthand but it all makes so much sense, especially when I relate it specifically to my ex who was addicted to junk food and video games and expected to get away with doing absolutely nothing around the house. He was also a total fucking baby and wanted me to be his mommy 🙄 After the ab…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 09:27 AM
10

Yeah but it's complicated. I think I'm actually one of those people who is strongly attracted to personalities regardless of gender. I didn't realize I could be into a woman romantically until I was about 21 and that situation blew up in my face horribly so since then I've only dated and hooked up with men. It wasn't really intentional, but I guess I've never been particularly open about the fact that I'm not only into men. Recently I hooked up with a female friend who defines herself as "straig…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 08:42 AM
61

They are fucking obsessed. Porn is completely ruining real sex for both men and women and that's why I'm not really that fussed about being single. I love sex but the last few guys I slept with all went for the ass without asking and it kind of ruins the whole experience. I just don't get it. What could possibly be the appeal?! Is it simply the depravity of it all? One of them wanted me to do it to him and I laughed in his face. Are you fucking kidding me? There's no way I'm going anywhere near …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 08:21 AM
10

This is SO TRUE. I always feel great when I evict a scrote or pickmeisha from my life. Bye Felicia. 💅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 08:11 AM
8

I'd like to tell him he doesn't own his girlfriend and isn't entitled to dictate what she wears. What a pathetic loser. Hope she dumps his ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 08:08 AM
5

Yes I think this is me too! I'm a bit avoidant in the early stages because I'm scared but once I get past that it's game over and I'm anxious attached for the rest of the relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 10:38 PM
1

Yes, trying to justify staying in an abusive relationship because they're too scared to leave. Not that I can blame them. I've been there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 10:33 PM
11

Idk, most of the pickmes I know are the hottest, smartest women I've ever met. Internalized misogyny can happen to anyone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 10:31 PM
2

Definitely been anxious all my life but since FDS I am working hard to move away from that. I haven't dated anyone seriously in over a year so if/when I finally do again it will be interesting to see what happens. I hope to be secure before any romantic prospects enter my life. Having an anxious attachment style is absolutely awful and it's the main thing that has put me off even trying to date. I guess I won't know if I've healed and improved until I try though!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 10:19 PM
4

I'm very confused by this post but regardless my advice is Dump His Ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 10:13 PM
2

Yeah I have been putting distance there. Aside from all the aforementioned stuff there has been a lot going on in terms of how she treats me...I know a lot of how she is is because of that awful guy but it's almost become an excuse for bad behavior at this point. When we hang out she always tries to drag me down to her pickmeisha level and it's incredibly toxic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 09:54 AM
3

Yeah, I was surprised at how accurate the description was. It's actually helped me because I've always felt there was something wrong with me and while I don't put much stock into the scientific validity of Meyers-Briggs, I don't feel like such a freak anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 10:30 PM
4

Ewwwwwww. I won't go into great detail because this story is just so insane, but I have a friend who started dating a guy in 2009, they had a very volatile relationship, then in 2012 they broke up "for good". Then in 2017 he emailed her saying he wanted to marry her but she had to move to the other side of the world for him. So she dumped the nice boyfriend she had here and moved for him. He was an emotionally abusive asshole and they broke up maybe two months later. But she kept sleeping with h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 10:25 PM
5

I wish I knew. For me it's definitely society and culture to a certain extent, but I never liked Disney princess movies (I only liked movies about animals), and I was bored by "romantic" movies, so I certainly wasn't very influenced by that kind of stuff. I know women who definitely were and live in that pick-me fantasyland and I find it pretty sad. My parents were mentally ill messes though so that definitely has something to do with why I feel like I need to save people. I think I spent my chi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 11:15 AM
13

INFJ. Apparently the rarest personality type which explains why I struggle with relationships so much lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 10:58 AM
2

Again...I'm only talking about the tech nerds I know. I will edit my comment so people stop misunderstanding.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 10:20 AM
61

I see many of my friends struggling with this. After a guy dumps them they can't help but text them in either anger or desperation to be taken back. Some of them carry this shit on for years. Personally though, I know when I'm done with someone. I make a hard line decision and stick to it. It doesn't mean I'm not still thinking about them all the time but it does mean I am absolutely not under any circumstances going to contact that person again, thereby saving myself from all the bullshit my fr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 01:32 AM
14

Absolutely. There is SO much negative stigma around BPD and it infuriates me that more men aren't diagnosed with it. My ex DEFINITELY had BPD and he even told me he did a test with a psychiatrist and he ticked every box except one and he would have been diagnosed with it if he were a woman, but the doctor said "you probably don't have Borderline because you're male". Are you fucking kidding me?! Ugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 09:25 PM
10

My ex was similar but definitely not on the spectrum. A lot of techies will say they are as an excuse though. They're idiots if they think people can't recognize the difference between someone acting a certain way because of a neurological disorder or because they're just a hate-filled, misogynistic douche.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 08:14 PM
7

I was talking specifically about the tech nerds I know who absolutely don't meet the criteria but are just total dicks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 08:07 PM
12

Absolutely, it's so pathetic and gross. The amount of people who will take any excuse to be racist disgusts me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 11:16 AM
23

I'm sick of seeing "jokes" and memes about it too. The fuck is wrong with people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 10:06 AM
215

Agreed. Most of the tech nerd males I know are not well-socialized and have anger issues and furious misogyny bubbling just below the surface. They think we can't smell it a mile off. And no, they're not on the spectrum. They're just assholes. EDIT: I'm talking specifically about asshole tech nerds I know and have known in my personal life who are absolutely not on the spectrum. I'm not talking about people who genuinely have Asperger's or autism.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 10:04 AM
18

I'm exactly the same! I get SO anxious early on in relationships that I've also avoided dating for a long time. I always thought it was my thing to work on - and it is for sure - but it's also because I've only dated sociopathic LVMs who behave confusingly and are purely obsessed with their own egos. That kind of behavior would make anyone anxious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 09:57 PM
17

Agreed 100%. My parents have mental illness, I have mental illness, many of my friends have mental illness. Having a partner with mental illness, especially one who doesn't manage it properly, is simply too much. My ex slowly revealed himself to be EXTREMELY mentally ill and refused to go to therapy so I ended up being the one to hold him up - helped him get off drugs and get his dream job - while I fell down. I learned the hard way. Have your shit together or don't talk to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 09:51 PM
-1

Yeah I mean I'm not saying she's a good role model lol. But she is a tough, talented bitch and yes, totally unapologetic and I love her for it. Live Through This perfectly sums up what it's like to be a woman and having that kind of real, raw representation made all the difference when I was a messed up teenager trying to make sense of the world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 08:36 PM
7

Lol get fucked. Everyone has different taste in music. Don't be a snob. Kim Gordon is a living legend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 08:31 PM
3

Being with a crazy cat man is SO important to me. I have two cats who are both obsessed with me so I need a man who doesn't mind that we'd never get any peace from them lol. I get it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 08:17 PM
3

You guys are living the dream, it's so wonderful to hear 😭💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 08:11 PM
8

I can't fucking stand her. While I think it isn't exactly her duty to be a role model, she is one to many young women regardless and that's concerning. Her music isn't even good. Listen to Hole or Sleater-Kinney or Sonic Youth for fuck sake. That said. We don't know if what she portrays is genuine or if she's as male-manufactured as Britney Spears.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 01:58 PM
6

It's so true. LVMs need anything they can get to keep that ego up. Soft ego = soft dick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 06:18 AM
17

DELETE! Then block. Thank goodness it was an email and not over Facebook or something. Emails are easy to get rid of permanently! As others have said this email isn't about you at all, it's about him trying to get his disgusting ego stroked. This message from him is worthless and should be treated as such. Stay strong sis!! You can do it! 💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 12:14 AM
102

I REALLY think men need a movie like that way more than women ever did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 12:08 AM
64

What the actual fuck?? I'd ask if this is a joke but I also know some men's egos just know no bounds.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 12:07 AM
7

Yeah so why wouldn't you want to adopt a foster child and get them out of that system for good?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 09:56 PM
4

I cannot fathom this behavior. What the fuck is the point??? Who has the time for this?! They must be some true bottom of the barrel level bullshit. 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 11:55 AM
16

I told him "you're squandering your privilege" because he is an intelligent white male from a wealthy family and I was sick of him doing literally nothing but smoking weed and playing computer games all day every day while I paid for all our food. I came up from nothing and worked my ass off to get where I am and he leeched off his parents for 30 years and still had the audacity to feel sorry for himself. Anyway. He cried and I said I was sorry. But I wasn't and never will be because I was right…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 11:50 AM
13

I did all that idiotic stuff when I was in my early 20s and working with a bunch of drunks but I'd NEVER do it again. It caused so much unnecessary drama in my life. When it's 5pm I leave work physically and mentally. G'bye.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 11:34 AM
12

I barely even understand this concept lol. It sounds so, so stupid. 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 11:29 AM
4

I suggest distancing yourself. This strikes me as something that is bothering you a lot, but also it's an issue you don't need in your life. Focus on yourself above all else. I have a friend a lot like her and once I started distancing myself I felt so much lighter and happier. I suspect once you do the same you'll realize the toll your friend was taking on you. She is insulting you and disrespecting you by not listening when you say you don't want to be set up with her bullshit LVM friends. If …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 11:25 AM
5

Absolutely. That's one lesson I'll never forget.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 09:47 PM
5

Yep. I have lots of guy friends, many of whom I've lived with so there have been lots of one-on-one hangouts. The only people I'm still in touch with from high school are two guys. They're both excellent HVMs, one is married and the other is engaged. We have been best friends for nearly 20 years. I really don't care if anyone disapproves, it's idiotic to say that men and women absolutely can't be friends, every situation is different. I've certainly had LVM male friends who have tried to fuck me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 10:33 AM
14

Damn. That's the cold hard truth right there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 09:56 AM
23

My ex was EXACTLY the same. I fell in love with a nice, attentive, apparently empathetic guy. I'm vegan and he said he "loves animals" and wanted to at least try going vegetarian and I was over the moon about that. IT WAS ALL LIES. After the honeymoon period (three months) was over his true colors came out. Low effort, complacent lying asshole who wanted to eat bacon and beef three times a day (not only disgusting but terribly unhealthy). I was a confused idiot and spent the next four years tryi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 09:53 AM
16

"No dramas mate"! Could he be any more Australian! 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 09:23 AM
5

My cousin tried a similar service (not in India, I don't want to say where I live but it might as well be Timbuktu) and was disappointed. She said the guys acted pretty much the same as they would on dating apps. Ghosting, rude etc. She was bewildered at why they'd pay money for a serious dating service only to act like that. I do think there's a cultural issue with men here though, too many of them are immature and idolize jock culture. So I think that's a factor. Men who think they know what t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 09:56 PM
1

Thanks! 💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 09:38 PM
3

Thanks 😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 10:18 AM
9

I've honestly never ever wanted to get married, for many reasons, but I still want a partner. ONE partner. Someone I can buy a house with and have lots of pets and travel with. I don't want a casual relationship or a goddamn "EtHiCaL nOn-MoNoGaMoUs" thing which seems to be all the rage now. I'm sorry but women are delusional pickmeishas if they think those types of relationships benefit them in the long run. I'm definitely not going to use Hinge. I live in a small town and once enough people are…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 10:14 AM
15

LOL if any of them have the audacity to text me I'm going to tell them I hope they get the virus. Yeah, I'm going to hell. But they're going first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 08:52 AM
3

Please tell the wild story! 🍿
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 08:50 AM
11

It's honestly very heartening hearing that HVM are out there bettering themselves at classes, hobbies etc. It makes perfect sense. I have always wanted to do a photography course and a graphic design course and I never thought "this is how I'll meet someone". But maybe it could be. I'm going to look at courses to enroll in tomorrow. If just one person around my age is there I'll have struck gold!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 08:47 AM
28

"When you match with a man they feel like they've already won" This is SO true and hearing it put like that makes me realize, after years of "wtfing" over it, why so many of them don't even say "hi". I mean I always knew it was an ego thing but I still couldn't see the point in being such a low effort piece of shit when you're on an app to supposedly meet people. But I guess if they're treating it like fkn Pokemon it's just "gotta catch 'em all". 🙄 Dating apps teach men to take women for granted…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 08:34 AM
2

It's funny, I've settled for a lot of stupid shit in my past relationships, but I have never and would never settle for bad sex. Never thought about that until now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 05:52 AM
2

Right? Even the LVMs I dated (who am I kidding, they all were) fucking LOVED it. And I love getting people off too. But only after I've got off. 😏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 05:48 AM
3

I've definitely received oral a LOT more times than I've given it. 😏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 12:44 AM
39

Wow fuck that. When I'm in a relationship I make sure they get me off. Every. Single. Time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 05:09 AM
2

I feel quite lucky in that almost every guy I've slept with has been happy for me to direct the action, so to speak. The only time I've had "bad" sex was when it was a one night stand, and I'll NEVER do that again. I've never had to do anything I didn't want to do or cater to some jerk's sexual whims. This is why I think one of the best things about FDS is the emphasis on making the man wait for sex. If a guy really loves you, your pleasure is his top priority. I'm not sure you need to worry so …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 05:03 AM
9

Imo if he's not into oral he's a LVM. Period.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 06:58 AM
12

Keeping busy with friends, exercise and hobbies (I killed two birds with one stone and took up swimming which is fantastic exercise and I consider it a hobby because it makes me really happy and I'm getting better and better at it, plus I've lost heaps of weight). Therapy. In particular Cognitive Behavioral Therapy will help break those repetitive and obsessive thoughts you may be experiencing. The first time my therapist did it with me I was mindblown (literally, heh heh) at how well it worked.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 01:07 AM
6

I've been chilling here for like three months and I've never seen anyone say anything like that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 12:25 AM
29

Right?! I wish I had FDS 10 years ago when my dating life was alive and kicking. Definitely would have avoided a lot of fuckery.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 09:03 PM
35

I found it much easier to meet people in my early 20s. There were a lot of confused boys who couldn't figure out commitment but there were also a lot who knew they wanted to be in a committed relationship. But then dating apps happened. And now I'm in my early 30s and finding a guy who wants to be in a committed, monogamous relationship is like finding hen's teeth. Dating apps have changed attitudes drastically. So I'm not surprised that women of all ages are having a hard time dating. Dating ap…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 08:59 PM
8

I think you are right. What I am going through right now is confusing for sure because I don't have romantic feelings for this person, I would never date them, but their behavior has really hurt and confused me. And I don't know WHY I'm so upset. But if I don't work through it I'll be angry at them forever and I don't want that because we're supposed to be friends. I'm seeing my therapist today and am really looking forward to talking it out with her haha, I really hope she can help!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 12:52 AM
24

This is a beautiful post. I don't have any answers because I'm going through some fucked up confusing feelings stuff too, but I totally understand where you're at and it totally makes sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 12:39 AM
52

Look at Britney Spears compared to Justin Timberlake. They started out on the same show. They both had successful music careers. Their lives ran parallel to each other for a very long time. And yet look at how things turned out for Britney. She would be at the same level of success and happiness had the media not continually hounded her and torn her down simply for being what she was forced to be by her parents (who have a lot to answer for imo) and record companies. Britney and Justin are yet a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 08:08 PM
22

So many things!! FREEDOM Not having to worry about being judged, manipulated, or emotionally abused Not having to try to fall asleep next to some snoring bozo Not dealing with how anxious I get, particularly in the early stages of a relationship My two cats always having room on the bed to sleep - one of them is scared of everyone except me and if some new person appeared he would freak out! Getting myself off instead of telling someone else how to do it lol The fact that I am now leveling up 10…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 07:54 PM
8

I rely on it maybe too much; it means I take very few risks in life and I often wonder about missed opportunities. But it definitely keeps me safe. I can't rely on it when it comes to reading people and their intentions though, especially if I've just met them or don't know them well. People need to be clear and honest with me and not play games because I don't fuck with that. Not only is it confusing but it's stupid and boring. My intuition tells me to walk away from it. My intuition fucked me …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 11:07 AM
14

Absolutely. They're just projecting their problems onto us. And if they do that from the first meeting, you better believe they'll do it in their relationships too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 10:29 AM
77

I'm a very shy, awkward introvert and I've been told by some of my male friends that I can seem "intimidating". The idea of ME being intimidating is laughable, so I've always known this label is bullshit. Any time a female friend says she's been told the same thing I tell her it's a pathetic excuse that came from a total coward. We don't need to change how we come across so pathetic LVMs can get the balls to approach us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 06:17 AM
1

Yep. And they totally do keep tabs but don't want us to. Fuckers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 07:07 PM
6

LOL way to waste your goddamn life, jfc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 12:37 PM
18

Ew what the fuck. She is delusional if she thinks he's worth that much money and that she'll ever benefit from that investment. LVMs are insane about their stupid cars. I made the massive, massive mistake of contributing money to my ex's car (btw I can't drive, long story) and during an argument I asked him if in the event of our relationship dissolving would he give me back any of the money I put in (ended up being about $2000) and he viciously spat out "you're not getting a fucking cent". He t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 12:33 PM
2

Same girl. Memes are fucking annoying. But the one you posted is gold, gotta say. Also, #guilty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 12:27 PM
2

I feel this so hard and probably spend too much time thinking about it. I spent 10 years in love with an insecure mess of a boy (he'll never be a man) convinced he was The One. I spent 8 years (on and off while in other relationships) sleeping casually with a guy who said multiple times he loved me and wanted to marry me but could never commit and lied to me about sleeping with other women. (For the record I was never emotionally invested in this one but he caused a lot of unnecessary drama). I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 12:19 PM
13

To be honest, ladies, I think we are part of a revolution.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 09:32 PM
4

Absolutely. I'm honestly pissed that I'm now having to spend so much money on therapy because of the issues caused by a bunch of scummy, smelly teenage boys. I think a lot needs to be changed in the way boys are raised. It's almost like their parents and teachers just let them run wild from day one. Girls always have so much more responsibility foisted upon them at a young age. That's my experience anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 09:13 PM
4

I'm really glad you're being extra cautious. It's so important to protect ourselves. When I wrote my other comments I was taking his age into account but if he were doing this at say, age 24 or above, I'd be screaming RUN.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 09:08 PM
2

I thought that too but still an expert manipulator can switch writing styles and tones at the drop of a hat. And also if his partner was sharing the account, wouldn't she see all his comments on the "rate me" threads? And yeah I just have no idea why a couple would share a Reddit account of all things. It's bad enough when couples share email addresses and Facebook accounts 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 09:00 PM
75

Pretty much exactly what I was going to say. What the hell kind of fucked up dystopia are we heading towards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 10:38 AM
7

This is 100 fucking percent accurate. Honestly when I see straight men selling advice to women, unless it's useful and from a unique perspective, I just roll my eyes so hard I feel like they're going to fall out of my head. It's MEN who need the most goddamn advice but the shittier they are, the less likely they are to look for and seek advice. And so the terrible cycle continues.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 06:44 AM
4

I think you can give him a chance, two dates at least, but just keep your wits about you and listen to your intuition. Simply based on your post I feel your intuition is already telling you something might not be quite right with this guy. The incessant calls and texts just put me right off, personally. He could be trying to love bomb you. EDIT: Idk why I missed the bit about the fact that y'all haven't even been on a FIRST DATE yet! If you still want to, do the first date (figure out your own t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 06:33 AM
28

Honestly, that sounds kind of stalkerish and like he might be a total control freak. Personally that kind of behavior would send me running for the hills.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 06:19 AM
8

I am, thank you ❤ Doing better now probably than at any other point in my life. I only hope that every girl who's ever felt low because of how men have treated her sees the light at the end of the tunnel and goes for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 06:14 AM
51

Men like this are literally unbearable to live with. There's pretty much nothing more pathetic than a man who can't be a responsible fucking adult and clean up after himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 04:10 AM
46

I looked at the comments made from that account and half of them were like "as a 35-year-old male" but some said stuff like "I'm a 27F Latina" wtf? Either this motherfucker is a creepy ass catfisher or two people are using the same account. I'm going with the former.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 03:59 AM
3

That's tame compared to my list of non-negotiables lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 03:35 AM
2

This is what I'm trying to do but she keeps attacking me for it. I think the next time she has a go at me I'll just tell her I'm done. Especially as she did something pretty bitchy recently. I can use that as the reason even though the real reasons are absolutely huge. I guess I'm worried she'll go to all our friends and talk shit about me but when I think about it all the ones I actually care about are already in my corner so maybe I'm just being paranoid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 11:38 PM
3

My weight has fluctuated a lot over the years for various reasons and I can 100% confirm that I get a lot more stares from creepy ass men - and people in general are nicer to me - the smaller I am. It sucks and further diminishes my faith in humanity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 11:13 PM
10

This is an interesting one. Honestly, at four years into the relationship, I think he should be contributing to the cats' care. That said, I am very passionate about animals, and if I were him I would have been doting on them from day one. But even so. Four years is a long time and I think it is completely fine to expect more from him at this point. My LVM ex and I got a kitten together and went halves in everything but she bonded very strongly with me and he got jealous (he's so pathetic) and w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 10:55 PM
16

Yes. I went to a co-ed public school and the boys were absolutely vicious. And the uglier they were the meaner they were. My friends and I were quiet, shy girls who minded our own business but those boys bullied us relentlessly. To be quite honest it's messed me up for life, I'm in my 30s now and am not sure I'll ever get over it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 10:24 PM
2

Sounds exactly like someone I'm trying to shake out of my life. May I ask how you did it? I've been friends with this girl for 12 years (aside from an 18-month break I took from her and I can't remember how I ditched her then because it was so long ago), and we have a lot of mutual friends so I'm struggling to figure out a way to end the friendship that won't be too dramatic or horrible. But I've truly had enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 10:00 AM
10

I'm very similar to you, OP, and I think some great advice has been posted here. In particular I support the idea of getting a pet. Prioritizing and caring for a creature that loves you unconditionally is incredibly rewarding and fulfilling in a way that a partner can't provide. My pets mean everything to me and I'll always put them above any man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 09:53 AM
23

This is great advice. I'm very similar to OP in that I love being generous and helping people, but I needed to read this. I am definitely guilty of giving too much too early in friendships and relationships and it usually results in me getting hurt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 09:44 AM
3

Unfortunately I'm still tolerating some kinda shit people in my life because I feel bad for them even though they're affecting my mental health. I also don't know how to end a particular friendship the right way. I've been trying to figure out how to do it all year and I know once I do things will be so much better for me but I just can't bring myself to do it yet. Sigh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 09:35 AM
7

So in 2017 I broke up with a terrible person I was in a serious relationship with. After that I felt mostly good, there were hard days where I felt very lonely (we had lived together for 3 years), but I knew I'd made the right decision. Six months later, in 2018, I got back in touch with an old FWB/ex and he was handy for a bit of a self-esteem boost. Then I started fooling around with another friend as well. Then I tried a dating app and started dating someone. He seemed to want to get too seri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 10:47 AM
14

Yes, I've been a pickme in friendships too. I put it down to my weird childhood and all the bullying I went through in school. I think it conditioned me to believe I wasn't worthy of anything good so I had to just take whatever anyone would give me. It definitely landed me in some terrible relationships and a particularly toxic friendship that I'm now struggling to manage. For so many years I tried so hard (and am still trying) to be a lovely, kind person, the best possible version of myself I c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 09:49 AM
4

Yes! This 100%. It's so much better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 09:07 PM
7

Circumcision isn't common in my country so all the guys I've slept with except one were uncircumcised. Tbh the foreskin makes giving head and handjobs a lot easier because the head is way more sensitive, and it's hard to explain if you've never fooled around with an uncut guy, but the foreskin is like something else to use to your advantage. And all of them keep their dicks clean, all that stuff about infections or whatever is not common at all in my experience. Never met a dude in my life who h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 09:04 PM
17

Sounds just like my ex, yuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 10:09 AM
10

The one guy who really listened and apparently retained everything I told him totally messed me around worse than anyone else. We were friends for 10 years and I know he liked me but he couldn't seem to do anything about it (he's very insecure and has big trust issues - not excusing his behavior, he is a total LVM, but that's essentially why he doesn't make moves on girls), and unfortunately I fell for him bigtime but kept it on the downlow because I was waiting for him to make a move. Anyway, h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 09:33 AM
24

I felt the same when I first realized this happened to me. But remember it's them with the massive problems and chronic assholism. These manipulation tactics can blind just about anyone, especially if you develop serious feelings for the person manipulating you. Don't beat yourself up over it, just be glad you know how to recognize this shit now. 🙂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 01:35 AM
9

This 100%. Keeping it simple and having no real emotional connection is vital. And also key is not letting a FWB distract you from finding a real relationship. Never put all your eggs in a FWB basket.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 08:20 PM
27

One of the few men on this planet I consider to be marriage material.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/20 04:47 AM
17

DUMP HIS ASS. She's way too good for him! I couldn't be with someone who didn't love animals. They will always be my number one priority. I'd totally date this girl if we lived in the same city.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 08:47 PM
7

I used to do everything when I lived with my ex because he'd use "depression" as an excuse (it seriously was an excuse - he wasn't too depressed to go to work, hang out with his friends or do literally anything else except housework). Either that or he'd procrastinate to the point of me throwing up my hands in frustration and doing it myself because I can't stand a messy or unclean house. And he knew that. Even at the time I knew what he was doing and I always made it clear that I wasn't interes…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 10:53 AM
3

But a lot of us DO KNOW and it's extremely tiresome having to try to convince people, especially doctors, of this fact. I first asked my doctor about getting my tubes tied when I was in my teens. Of course they said no. I asked again in my 20s. I was told no doctor would do it until I turned at least 35. I think that's fucking bullshit but that's patriarchy for you. I'm 35 soon and you better believe I'll be asking again. I think it's actually rarer than you think for women to change their minds…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 06:04 PM
8

Yes. Long story short my mother was very controlling and kept me super sheltered (I think she meant well) so I didn't know a dang thing about the real world till I got to school, and boy was that brutal. My first teacher would hit me in front of the whole class whenever I cried (which was like all the time because newsflash, kids cry more when they're hit and abuse traumatizes them). Honestly not sure if it's related (probably is) but the other kids treated me like a freak and that influenced ho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 10:46 AM
6

Hey sis, I'm in the same boat as you. Vegan, don't want kids, not keen on marriage. Honestly it's tough for women like us out there but in my opinion you shouldn't compromise on this stuff. It's who you are. I've made the mistake of compromising for men and unless they're willing to meet you in the middle, the relationship will be hell for you. What has helped me deal with the fact that most men suck and won't meet me in the middle, is reading FDS often and maintaining my hobbies, staying active…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 09:17 PM
5

I also think the reason they're so obsessed with appearances, reputation and anything superficial is that they're so terrified the world will see the nothingness that lies beneath.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 08:27 AM
3

This all sounds narcissistic to me. My ex was very similar. The half-assed apologies are a huge red flag to me, it indicates he doesn't like and/or refuses to take accountability for his actions as they affect others which is something all the narcs in my life do. Also the "you misunderstood me, I was kidding" is straight up gaslighting. "Oh you don't like that I said something shitty? That's your fault". Narcs do this constantly to break their friends and partners down so they can walk all over…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 08:24 AM
28

He sounds insecure, controlling and like he could be a narcissist. This is not the behaviour of someone who truly loves you, imo. My advice would be to dump his ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 07:12 AM
13

This is 100% accurate. Protect yourself and stay the FUCK away from people like this. Always have your wits about you because they will do their best to manipulate you and suck you into their "specialness" which they are OBSESSED with maintaining.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 04:28 AM
3

It's like we're friends with the same person! When I read other people's experiences it REALLY makes me go "I gotta get out of this". Your story and advice to me in the other thread is truly inspirational, I feel like I can't thank you enough!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 04:24 AM
4

Your dad is just like my mum when she's at her worst 😬 The good news is she's chilled out a bit with age but I am still an extension of her to be openly judged, in front of people, however she sees fit. Narcissist parents fuck their kids up SO BAD. I would probably still be really fucked up if I hadn't learned all about narcissism and my mother's other mental health issues and figured out why my childhood was the way it was. In my case understanding has helped me move past what I went through. T…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 04:19 AM
10

Unfortunately there are a few narcissists in my life and now that I know more about NPD I can generally spot the signs. But one of my exes, who I was with for 4 years, was a rather subtle narcissist and it really crept up on me. What I have observed about narcissists I've dated: Everything is about them and what they want to do, and they will trick you into thinking it's about you and what you want to do, but it ain't Highly manipulative They have no empathy, but they will say they do to endear …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 04:01 AM
189

Best response ever! "Ya thirsty thot" 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 02:27 AM
2

Holy shit, panic attacks! This girl must have been toxic to the level of straight up poison. I'm super glad you cut her out of your life. Do you ever hear about how she's doing now? I have so many mutual friends with this girl I'd be hearing about her all the time I reckon. I think if I left she would be pretty upset for a long time and blame the situation on her ex (to be fair, he is a very bad guy) while also going to him for sympathy. She'd probably hit peak pick-me. I know it sounds bad but …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 01:56 AM
9

Block him. Exes should stay in the past. You need to move on and cutting ties is the only way for 99% of people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 12:40 AM
2

Thanks for being so supportive and awesome! All my friends are like "OMG END THIS" and I totally understand why, I'd be telling anyone in my situation the same thing. It's just super complicated because we've been friends for so long and as an empathetic person, it's very hard for me to feel like I might be hurting someone by leaving them because I wouldn't want that to happen to me. That's partly how I ended up in relationships with emotionally abusive and manipulative guys for so long. I know …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 12:30 AM
2

No worries! I've been trying hard to just get on with my life the way I was before this entire drama started but she did start up with the messaging me all day every day again, as well as the inviting herself over which I firmly put a stop to right away. It's the most frustrating situation, I've put these boundaries up and she just casually flouts them with no respect for me while also saying I'm her best friend and she cares about me more than anyone else, which is obviously not true. I think y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 01:42 PM
22

Also if he starts accusing YOU of cheating, or "emotionally cheating" (puh-leeze 🙄) he is probably cheating. Case in point, my psycho ex started accusing me of "emotionally cheating" with a friend of mine who lived on the other side of the country - with his gf, no less - and it drove me so crazy that I broke up with him - which is what he wanted - and next thing I know he's dating a girl I fucking introduced him to. I have no evidence he was hooking up with her before I dumped him but my intuit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 10:42 AM
3

Yeah, I mean after all the LVMs I've dealt with in the past, the next person I get serious about will have to be pretty freaking spectacular. So in the event of meeting that person and having a relationship with them, I wouldn't completely write marriage off as a potential eventuality. But I am in my early 30s already and honestly don't see any of that happening. So I am learning from FDS and getting closer to being like you, in that I want to be able to take or leave men without getting my emot…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 05:18 AM
7

Following because I need to know too! I hate OLD and I'm also quite introverted so most of the time I feel like I'll never meet anyone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 03:55 AM
4

I needed to read this today, thank you. There was someone in my life like this for a very long time and I got major one-itis and sometimes I miss him but this reminded me of his true colors.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 01:50 AM
14

I don't want to get married either. But these days I'm not making the mistake of telling men I'm dating that. I want commitment, monogamy and maybe even a proposal and engagement but I don't want a wedding, I don't want to change my name and I don't want to sign my life away. A break-up is a break-up, but a divorce is a DIVORCE. Messy, expensive, can take years. No thank you. I also don't want kids. Hard no on that one. I don't think any of that keeps me from being a HVW. I'm all about self-pres…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 01:31 AM
5

I wonder all the time too. I think women are more into commitment and long term relationships which is a plus but I imagine that might be pretty much the only difference? I am guessing for the most part F/F relationships are just as complicated as M/F relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 12:12 PM
11

This 100%. Gamers can fuck right off and so can conservatives. Scum of the earth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 10:04 PM
7

OP, your list is great! Exactly what I'd put on mine. The only things I'd add are: Doesn't want kids and doesn't have kids (because I don't want or like kids so I'm certainly not looking to become a fkn stepmother) Must have a healthy diet, and that means zero meat. I'm a lifelong vegan and my commitment to that and my animals comes before anything else. My ex lied to me early on saying he was interested in being healthier and going vegetarian and I was over the moon about that. Cut to a few mon…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 09:54 PM
25

Classic LVM. My ex was the same. It's lazy, selfish, entitled behavior. I now see it as a huge red flag - I won't bother with anyone like that now. If they can't be bothered to arrange dates and expect you to do it, chances are they have the same attitude about cooking, housework, and your wellbeing in general.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 07:16 PM
2

I can't believe anyone would think that would work - saying shitty stuff about my FAMILY. It's the stupidest tactic imaginable imo. Sure, my cousin and I haven't been close in a long time but we grew up together and have never had a falling out or anything. I should have blocked him ages ago. I worry about how he's raising his son, who is also my family! Ugh his behavior makes me feel sick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 06:04 PM
9

Same here. It's the worst when ONE guy manages to get under your skin like that. But you learn a lot from it...at the risk of your sanity. My new motto is "bad relationships can teach you good things". The only way I can justify the poor choices I made in my 20s lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 06:43 AM
8

Speaking of this, my cousin's babydaddy hit me up on Facebook about a year ago saying stuff like "I always told [my cousin] you were way hotter than her" (possibly the biggest LVM red flag I've ever seen in my life) and asking me out for a drink. I said "I don't think that would be appropriate". For context, the last time I saw this fucking guy was probably at the hospital 10+ years ago when my cousin was giving birth to his kid. And I've always thought he was a dick and really unattractive but …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 06:39 AM
6

Him doing that to me was one of the worst things I've ever gone through, and he'd do it over and over again whenever we had an argument. I'd end up by apologizing and consoling him when he'd done something offensive that upset me in the first place! I still feel traumatized by it tbh. I think he is a narcissist with Borderline Personality Disorder. I'm sure your ex was similar. If you read up on those two personality disorders it may help you see what was going on with him - learning about those…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 06:28 AM
19

Same here. 95% of the guys on dating apps are revolting, physically and personality-wise. Plus I find it really hard to be attracted to a picture, if that makes sense. And irl I get approached by gross guys who are either drunk or delusional. For me it's all about personality anyway, I definitely don't have a physical "type". All my exes look very very different to one another. Funnily enough though, all my exes have a physical type - girls who look like me. The shallowness of men! When I look b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 05:40 AM
61

My lazy ass ex would "promise" to do chores and then keep putting them off until I would get super fucking angry and do it all myself because I can't stand a messy or unclean house and he knew that. Also wanted a goddamn THANK YOU every time he lifted a finger. The audacity of this wankstain. Unfortunately all my friends have similar stories about their own LVM exes. I can't belieeeeve how low our standards used to be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 05:20 AM
16

TOO FUCKIN' REAL SIS. My ex used to threaten to kill or harm himself whenever I tried to break up with him, and one time I kicked him out of the house so he had to go to his folks' place and his stepmom was messaging me begging me to take him back and I told her about it. And she said his dad would do that to her too!!! Like what the actual fuck. I think that's absolutely disgusting emotional manipulation and abuse especially when he knew about the suicides in my family and in my friend circle. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 04:41 AM
1

It's definitely heavenly when the pool isn't full of people! I try to go at odd times of the day to avoid them 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 07:16 PM
2

So - update - she apologized and admitted she'd been "crazy" so we caught up in person and had a few drinks and as I suspected, the "hard stuff" she'd been going through was honestly...kind of nothing? (For context I got made redundant in December and I got a good payout but I don't have a job, I pay rent, have no parental support while she lives at her parents' house rent-free with a bottomless bank account). She also mentioned other friends she's been hanging out with so I feel I essentially g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 10:45 AM
2

No, I didn't :/ It was the first date I'd been on in something like a year so I just kind of went with it even though it really caught me off-guard, and I kind of thought, maybe this is normal? I told friends about it after, and the range of reactions was interesting. Some agreed with me that it was weird and inappropriate and others thought it was normal and I overreacted! Could be an introvert vs extrovert thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 10:41 AM
3

This! I've never had a good Valentine's Day while in a relationship. My exes all gave me the gift of profound disappointment 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 10:19 AM
5

I have the same problem lol. I know I'm not hideous or anything but I've watched guys approach my friends over me time and time again. But on the other hand, they all turned out to be LVMs, and those friends had pickmeisha tendencies. And I am quite introverted unless I'm partying and I don't really do that anymore. So while I'd like to know why men don't approach me, I'd rather know where the hell all the HVMs are hanging out, because I'm not sure I've ever met one in my entire life!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 09:04 AM
13

For real, that was me until I found this sub and made some big changes in my life at the beginning of the year.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 08:49 AM
1

Thank you! I think me telling her she's a narc would completely enrage her too, partly because she thinks her ex is a narc (he probably is, he's also hugely responsible for bringing out the worst in her). I hope after all the narcs I've known I will be able to spot them in future too. Not that I ever really meet new people anymore lol. Funny you should say that about your friend not telling you about her diagnosis, mine won't either. She's just told me she has Oppositional Defiant Disorder but m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 10:16 PM
1

Thank you so much for your lovely words! It helps that even a person over the internet sees the situation and can relate, as well as all my friends (including mutual friends, even people she was friends with first!) and my therapist. Honestly it's all really empowered me to make the call to tell her she needs to fucking stop this shit or I'm out. One thing I wonder, before I leave her forever, should I tell her she's a codependent narcissist who has been treating me like I'm her boyfriend, or li…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 11:59 AM
21

Lol this is even funnier than the "send pigs" post yesterday. Just respond with this: 🤡🤡🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 04:23 AM
3

You are SO right, especially about how we teach them about empathy. That resonates with me so much because this friend makes a lot of comments (especially recently) about how "we're the same" and about how she's "so sensitive and empathetic" and "we're so broken". Big fuckin' yikes. It bewildered me that she called herself empathetic etc but what you said made me realize why. She thinks she is because I am and she's like a narc parent (cough cough my mother) who sees people close to them as exte…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 04:20 AM
0

I had a FWB on and off (always off when I was in a relationship, he's never had a relationship in his life) for 8 years. It was easy for me to not get attached because he was a total moron. But he had that good D and he was a bit in love with me. That's what you want in a FWB. Unattractive personality, attractive dick. Edited to add: I would never do FWB again. It only worked with that guy because we'd known each other for so long and other details specific to each of us. I'm way too old and ant…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 12:22 PM
18

I agree. I think FWBs have their time and place and each situation is different. The main thing is to recognize FWB relationships for what they are, keep it simple, and don't get confused. If it gets weird or confusing, nope the fuck out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 12:15 PM
15

I had a really stressful day but this made it all okay! Have all pigs you want bro 🐖🐖🐖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 09:20 AM
3

Thanks, same to you! I guess the sympathy I feel is due to 1. Her obviously very severe mental illness, which has gotten way worse over the past three or so years; 2. We have been friends a looooonnnggg time. Like 13+ years. I did stop being friends with her like, 8 years ago because she was being toxic and I took her back about a year later because I thought she'd learned a lesson, but the toxicity is back tenfold now; 3. I'm a very empathetic and sensitive person which is how she (and honestly…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 10:27 AM
5

My ex was a sulky POS. Just an all-round manchild. But he'd sulk bigtime to get me to stay home with him instead of going out with my friends. When I think about all the birthdays and dinners and gigs I missed because of the emotionally abusive vacuum he sucked me into I get so mad! But then I just remind myself, I learned my lesson and it will never happen again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 06:50 AM
15

"I'm not like other girls" 🙄🙄🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 05:24 AM
7

I've watched this movie many many times but I ALWAYS cringe at that scene because it reminds me of how I once was with a particular guy. Never again!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 05:23 AM
7

I was bullied as a kid and teen so I never believe people (male and female) when they tell me I'm beautiful, hot, sexy or whatever. My train of thought is generally "how could they possibly think that?!" whenever I get a compliment. But then every so often there will be a really good pic of me and I'm like, wow, maybe they're not lying or just being nice. Beauty and attractiveness are all relative anyway. The right person will find me attractive through and through so while I certainly put effor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 05:14 AM
3

This will explain it better than I can! Grey Rock Method
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 05:06 AM
4

Oh don't worry, I'm way ahead of you ;) All our mutual friends have always supported me because they've seen her true colours and any who haven't I've pretty much cut contact with. And I have plenty of friends who don't know her but support me wholeheartedly and treat me like a queen :) My reason for not ending the friendship is more to do with the sympathy I feel for her because honestly, it can't be easy living in that kind of mindset. And I guess I'd feel guilty and bad because it's obvious h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 10:27 PM
5

Thankfully all my friends, even some who are technically friends with her, have seen and heard how she treats me and support me 100%. Even her own high school best friend lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 10:17 PM
3

Yeah she had an irrational outburst (the latest of many) at me the other day and I've decided to give her a chance to apologise - something she's never done before - and if she doesn't I'm bouncing. I have plenty of friends who treat me like the queen I am, I don't need her toxicity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 10:15 PM
3

Happy to help! I spent years in an unhappy relationship with someone who was the exact opposite of the things I wanted and needed and that's how I learned the hard way not to settle! Never again!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 10:11 PM
49

Personally I don't like strangers touching me or even getting into my personal space. The last date I went on, I was meeting the guy for the first time and he gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and it REALLY threw me off and made me uncomfortable immediately. At the time I didn't think of it as a power move but after reading this thread I'm thinking it could have been? Potentially a test, at the very least.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 04:29 PM
13

I'm so jaded I think it's like, 0.001% lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 04:18 PM
12

If I find them, I find them - if not, that's fine too! 🙂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 04:16 PM
7

This is an excellent list, I did a similar thing after I broke up with my abusive ex. ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 04:14 PM
23

My absolute non-negotiables for romantic relationships with men and women: No current kids and doesn't want future kids Same political ideals as me Vegan, vegetarian or pescatarian at the very least, and loves animals and being in nature as much as I do Physically active Goes to therapy or has at least seen a therapist in the past Not addicted to porn Not a gamer Not codependent, narcissistic, emotionally abusive, racist or sexist Lets me have my me-time, lots of space, won't get pissy about me …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 04:07 PM
1

Hard no. OLD is absolutely terrible if you live in a small city or town too. It's nothing but exes, friends' exes, your ex's friends, your friends' exes' friends, fuckboy losers who just want casual sex and old men lying about their ages and cheating on their wives. If you ever forget why it's so easy to hate men, come to my city and open Tinder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 12:40 PM
21

I've realized recently that my so-called bestie is a pathological pick-me and a hardcore narcissist and her emotional abuse, which is directed solely at me and not any of her other friends, is fucking my life up bigtime. I've tried the grey rock method and still get attacked by her. She sees every woman in her life, including me, as a threat. Can't be happy for friends' happiness. Emotionally abuses me for appearing happy with other friends on social media. Stays "friends" with exes so she can g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 11:35 AM
16

Not just "alpha male" but ALPHA MALE 🙄🙄🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 11:13 AM
28

This sounds so familiar to me that it's making me profoundly sad. I met someone 13 years ago (almost to the day) and you could say it was love at first sight. The chemistry between us is still unlike anything I've ever felt before. The story of our "relationship" is too long to go into detail about here but I'll sum up by saying he would be my idea of perfect if he hadn't got addicted to porn at a young age. We've never even talked about it, it's something I just intuitively KNOW about him. I ca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 11:10 AM
19

LOL insecure males are fucking hilarious, you can't make this shit up 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 04:03 AM
1

I hate to "not all men" here but only narcissists are like that. And while I'd agree that most men are narcissistic babies looking for a teat, not all of them are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 09:56 PM
2

No, you are completely right and don't sound belittling at all. You are spot on with the competitiveness comment, it's like she needs to keep me down to make herself feel better. Currently she is trying to make me feel bad for being happy and spending time with other friends. You wouldn't believe some of the things she's said...it's next level irrational. She actually tried to make me feel guilty for prioritizing myself over her, not that I was even overtly doing that, I've just been living my l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 01:44 PM
19

I go swimming for an hour every day. It's become my number one daily priority, I absolutely love it. Swimming is my peaceful, meditative time, and it's also great exercise. I've lost a lot of weight since I started. It makes me so happy. Yoga is another nice, peaceful and meditative activity I would recommend. I'm also thinking of learning an instrument, probably guitar, if I can find the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 01:15 PM
34

No. You did the right thing. I only wish I'd done the same instead of letting someone just like that play me for years. Don't beat yourself up over it, he ain't worth shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 01:08 PM
2

This is me 100% and I wish more people thought this way so I wouldn't have to explain myself all the time. And also I think the world would be a better place if more people genuinely cared about each other at that level.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 12:27 PM
3

I think exactly the same thing! I think she really does love herself but I want her to get to a place where finding a man isn't a goal, more of a happenstance. That's where I'm finally at and I'm so much happier within myself, for once in my life. I don't even need sexual validation anymore and I used to get so depressed without it. However, I also think that maybe Nicole might be a bit of a commitment-phobe which is totally understandable given what she's been through and I wonder if she really…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 12:22 PM
2

My advice would be to grey rock too and just get on with your life, focus on yourself and nurture friendships with people who build you up, because when I do this I'm so happy it's crazy. And I have depression and anxiety! However: I have tried this a few times with my so-called best friend (she calls herself that but she treats me like shit) and I'm happy and mentally well until she attacks me and accuses me of not caring about her as if I owe her something. She is a narcissist and I'm pretty s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 11:59 AM
8

I was in a relationship with a gamer for four years and it was fucking terrible. Can you imagine prioritising a goddamn game over literally everything in your actual real life? I can't believe how stupid I was for not seeing all the red flags! But as a wise owl once said, when you're wearing rose-tinted glasses, all the red flags just look like flags. I will never, ever date a gamer again. I'm a beachy outdoorsy nature person and my partner has to be too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 11:17 AM
16

It's not true at all. A truly good man is attracted to a woman for who she is and values that over looks. I mean come on. Not everyone has the same definition of "feminine" anyway. I consider myself feminine but from what you're saying, you definitely wouldn't. I'd never want to manipulate someone into loving me, that's super fucked up and something LVM do to women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 11:03 AM
23

I have no advice except to add that yes, this is my experience too, and imo dating and relationships have changed a lot even just in the past 10 years. In my 20s meeting people was easy and it seemed like guys wanted a long-term relationship as much as I did, which is how I ended up in them. I dumped my LVM ex when i was 30 and I have found dating IMPOSSIBLE since then. It seems like guys all just want casual sex now or they're "EtHiCaL mOnOgAmIsTs". 🙄 Or maybe all the good ones in my tiny-ass c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 10:55 AM
18

Block him. You'll never get an apology.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 12:26 PM
20

I'd need an extra hand to be able to count the amount of guys who have assumed I'm into them just because I've acted friendly. As in, like I want to be just friends. And when I've told them I just wanted to be friends they'd make a move or be like "yeah, sure" with this exact facial expression -->😏 You just can't win with these people. They live in fantasy land and only believe what they want to believe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 11:47 AM
49

"Allergic to awesome" lmao. I haaaate when guys call themselves awesome and amazing and "probably better than you at xyz" in their profiles, how the fuck do they not realise what a turn-off that is? Would they swipe right on a girl who says stuff like that in their profile? Actually yes, they probably would, and then verbally abuse her. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 11:39 AM
21

This is fantastic advice. A dude like that had me under his confusing, manipulative spell playing "will we, won't we" with our friendship for many, many years. I'm still recovering from it and how stupid it all made me feel. NEVER AGAIN.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 11:01 AM
7

Well, my mum had a very hard life, many details of which I didn't know until 2018 so I forgive her for a lot of things that previously made me very angry, especially in my teens. In short she taught me nothing about dating or sex because I think it all made her very uncomfortable (there is a massive generation gap between us and she's incredibly old-fashioned). But she did tell me two things that stand out now: "don't trust men" and "men must be the ones to pursue women". At the time I argued wi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 11:49 AM
5

This is the best analogy of dating apps I've ever seen. She just described the past few months of my life and also why I'm done with dating apps for good. Queen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 11:26 AM
19

Religion is inherently misogynist and exists to oppress women. Sorry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 12:57 AM
2

This "man" (I'd prefer to call him a monster) has brainwashed you. I swear your life will improve by leaps and bounds if you get away from him and go into therapy. Please try to look at the situation objectively. Would you want your daughter to be groomed and brainwashed by a much much older man? You think you want him but he's conditioned you to think that. It's obvious to everyone except you because you are the victim of a dangerous and predatory abuser. PLEASE get help and cut off all contact…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 07:16 PM
3

Fuck men make me so fucking angry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 07:10 PM
42

Well I'm glad it's not just my friends and I having that problem! It just makes me think, why the hell did you swipe right if you're not going to talk to me? But then I also know that most guys swipe right on literally everyone which again is something that makes women feel shit because it's like they don't actually find anything about us interesting or worthwhile. So goddamn shallow. And yes I see lots of crossover between Bumble and Tinder too and their Bumble profiles always have a bit more e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 09:58 AM
82

Excellent post. I could not agree with it more, especially the part about the effect these apps are having on people's psychology and society in general. The fact that there's a correlation between apps and people in general having shorter relationships is particularly scary because the result is ultimately a population of heartbroken, desperate and angry people, hence incels and pickmeishas. When Tinder first made it to my country, in 2013, I ended up in a relationship with the first person I m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 09:14 AM
108

"Wasted so many years"?! If she's 19 now, how old was she when this fucking predator started grooming her?? Jfc this is making me nauseous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 06:53 AM
3

Girl, I am in the same dang boat. Also 32 (soon to be 33, yikes), have my shit together for the most part and have done a LOT of work on myself since dumping my toxic, controlling narcissist ex, and yet I still seem to only attract porn-addicted narcissists or just no one at all. I absolutely hate dating apps but I did go on one date (my first in at least a year) recently and it was so fucking weird. I thought we were hitting it off and getting along and then after an hour he says "okay I'm goin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 11:30 AM
42

Dropping toxic, low value people from my life is one of my main goals for 2020 and so many of the realisations I'm making are because of this amazing subreddit ❤ I'm learning to recognise and value more openly the ones who lift me up and also lift them up in return while distancing myself from pick-mes who hold me back and see every single woman they meet as a threat. I'm only sorry I didn't get this wake up call sooner! I'm so excited to make 2020 my year and be my very best self.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/20 10:06 AM
10

He sounds exactly like my ex who I stayed with for WAY too long. The public insults, the laziness, the diminished sex drive, all of it. I am SO glad I dumped him, I only wish I had done it two years into the relationship instead of four but he gaslit me relentlessly and would threaten to harm himself. I think you will be glad when you break up with this poor excuse for a man; don't be like me and waste years waiting for him to improve. He won't. He's become complacent and takes you for granted a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/20 09:50 AM
7

I have been in relationships with all these types. It's unfortunate how plentiful they are. At first I was angry about what they put me through and the years I wasted on them but now I'm glad I learned how to spot them a mile off and even if it means I'm going to be single for the rest of my life, I'll never date another LVM again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/20 04:54 AM
10

Honestly, for most of them, I have no idea. They're all blocked and dead to me. I do know through the grapevine that one of them dated a pickmeisha "friend" of mine RIGHT after we broke up (after 4 years together) and she dumped his ass after less than 6 months which I find H I L A R I O U S. Oh and he moved to the other end of the country because she wrote some shit on Twitter about him sexually assaulting her. And that's the tip of the LVM iceberg when it comes to this guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 01:41 PM
3

I LOVE this post and wish I could send it to all my single female friends (most of them don't use Reddit). I will try to express these sentiments when they feel sad about shitty men though. 🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 07:36 PM
49

Suck HIS titties
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 07:30 PM
3

Almost the exact same thing happened to me with a guy I'd been friends with for 10 years and he knew I'd always had feelings for him. I'd just come out of a four-year relationship and he decided to fuck with my head for 10 months playing "will we won't we" (knowing I'd always wanted us to try dating) until I ended it and told him how I felt and his reaction was "sorry you feel that way, wasn't my intention though". What an absolute piece of shit. Can't believe I was hoodwinked by his "good guy" …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 09:59 PM
8

Fuck yes to all of this. I can't understand why anyone would want to be "friends" with exes. All of mine are scum! I block them as soon as the breakup is done. Funnily enough though I do have a female friend who does stay "friends" with her exes for the reasons listed in the OP - the main one being that she wants backup plans and ego boosts. It's pretty gross and frustrating to watch tbh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/19 07:09 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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