What’s your requirements

Radtron3000 · 2020-02-10T15:38:30+00:00

Besides mutual attraction, he's kind, fun, interesting. He has something going for him career-wise. He actively seeks to spend quality time together. We share many of the same values. He wants to work through arguments. We have a healthy sexual relationship. My friends like him.

happyduck18 · 2020-02-10T15:19:09+00:00

Here’s my list. I wrote it out shortly after my ex and I broke up. I try to make it a practice to occasionally go through the list & make sure any guy I’m dating is meeting the requirements.

Long term SO requirements Non negotiable. - takes care of me as much as I take care of him - 100% trustworthy. I need to be able to trust his words to be true, his actions to be honest, and trust he will not hurt me - Will take no for an answer every single time, no matter what. - Know what he wants. Especially when it comes to me. - Values me, and does not complain about resources he spends to spend time with me - Able to admit his mistakes and apologize - Knows his own worth - Loves me for me, not the things I do for him - Does not suffer from any type of addiction (porn, alcohol, drugs). - Financially wise - Motivated, and has obtainable goals set for his future, and supports me in reaching my goals - He wants to be a boyfriend and be a husband, not just have a girlfriend and have a wife - Cares about my pleasure in bed. Takes his time & makes sure he does it right.

I deserve a man who takes care of me
I deserve a man who is honest
I deserve a man who loves me

ironymaiden87 · 2020-02-10T16:07:36+00:00

My absolute non-negotiables for romantic relationships with men and women:

No current kids and doesn't want future kids
Same political ideals as me
Vegan, vegetarian or pescatarian at the very least, and loves animals and being in nature as much as I do
Physically active
Goes to therapy or has at least seen a therapist in the past
Not addicted to porn
Not a gamer
Not codependent, narcissistic, emotionally abusive, racist or sexist
Lets me have my me-time, lots of space, won't get pissy about me spending a lot of time with my friends
Financially secure and not a tightass little bitch about money
Good taste in music, respects my taste and breadth of knowledge about music
Passionate about their work or at least a hobby
Respects me and prioritizes me as much as I do them (when I'm in a relationship my partner becomes my top priority after my animals)

I am aware that I have described a unicorn. But I'd rather be single for the rest of my life than settle for less.

Bovvsette · 2020-02-10T15:40:07+00:00

I'd rather not get into specifics during dates, I don't want to be played by revealing all my cards so I just observe and see if he fits the requirements organically, without being told what they are. It's usually qualities that I would like my children to have, such as: intelligence, wisdom, independence, being respectful to the environment, great sense of humor, reliable and consistent, kind etc. You know, qualities that make someone a good partner and a father, the ones you'd like to pass on via genes and teaching, because the world could always use more people like that.

_HEDONISM_BOT · 2020-02-10T16:24:02+00:00

Doesn't try to get me to cancel or postpone things I have planned for him. Basically, makes sure to plan things with me in advanced.
Has goals he is working towards. I don't care where you are in life, you should have some goal.
Act like an adult. Know how to cook, clean, and pay your bills like a man.
Don't agree with me all the time. I can't stand when someone doesn't have their own thoughts. We should agree on a lot, but just agreeing to agree without any thought behind your reasoning is not interesting.
Someone who wants a family. If they hate marriage or kids, I am not interested. I'm not asking for commitment on the first date. That's also super crazy. There are so many guys. Why would I waste my time entertaining someone who never wants what I want?
Someone who values intelligence and isn't threatened by a smart woman. Dealing with jealously based on my intelligence is fucked up because I can't change my brain like that.
Someone who brags about my accomplishments when I'm not there. I love when a mutual friend congratulates me on something I never mentioned to them, but they heard about it from my SO.

DaeYeNoKen · 2020-02-10T17:00:16+00:00

Free of autism, personality disorders or serious mental illness
Healthy weight, capable of going for a decent walk!
Avoids tobacco, hard drugs or overdoing the alcohol.
Kind, trustworthy, respectful loving.
From a nice family.
Someone who looks out for those close to him.
Monogamous.
Happy living in Scotland, preferably is a Scot himself.
Politically aware.
Near me in age and intelligence. As in smarts and being able to hold an interesting conversation. His level of formal education doesn't have to match mine.
Shares some interests with me
Employed or self employed, and able to get fair compensation for his skills.
Supports himself, can run a decent home for himself and do a fair share of the chores if he's living with someone.
Good financial judgement
Has his own four wheeled transport
Takes no shit from his social circle or randos, sticks up for his friends and loved ones
Is respected in his social circles
No pornsickness or kinks involving pain or degradation, is able to value a partner whose sexual tastes are vanilla.

2020-02-10T18:21:51+00:00

Financially stable

-Emotionally mature

-Respects me and others

-Splits duties with me, 100/100 not 50/50

-Sense of humor

-Intelligence (I don’t require an Einstein, but I would like to be able to hold a conversation with him without having to water everything down or explain everything)

-Sexually attracted to him

-Kind and generous, but is not a doormat either.

-Good communication skills

-Honesty

-Some shared interests, so we can do things together, but also allow each other to explore interests and hobbies that we don’t share without suffocating each other

-Has goals and ambition and supports my goals -A good father if he has kids. If he doesn’t have kids, has to be ok with not having any because I most likely do not think I want more kids if found my person. Haven’t fully decided. Willing to treat mine as he would his own as well

-Drive/not lazy

-Self-sufficient. Doesn’t need me to tell him what to do, just gets what needs to be done, done

-Gives and receives acts of love

Subject to modification :D

RobotAmerican · 2020-02-10T17:10:50+00:00

He has desirable qualities and is going to prioritize me and invest in having a better future together. That's the simplest version.

j_bo · 2020-02-10T17:47:54+00:00

Kind
Caring
Respectful
Trustworthy
Honest
Intelligent
Understanding
Committed
A man of his words
Aware of things
Practices self-reflection
Not emotionally dependent
NoFapstronaut
Working towards his dreams
Ambitious
College degree or at least doing something with his life
Self-sufficient
Can cook and clean

2020-02-10T18:36:43+00:00

As a young pickme-in-transformation, I put a basic list on my OLD profile like:

Must be supporting himself financially
Must have a self-improvement mindset
Must employ basics of cleanliness and hygiene
Must actually have friends
Must be drug free

still got me "ur gonna die alone" messages from salty LVMs. I mean, if the alternative was to be attached to a socially inept, smelly, filthy, NEET pothead, even then I would have been like "suits me just fine."

As it was, the one I married wasn't anyone I got to know through OLD.

im_not_a_dude · 2020-02-10T18:35:13+00:00

Honestly at the moment my list is too long and unachievable because I truly do not want an actual relationship.

the-cool-hedgehog · 2020-02-10T20:54:23+00:00

Similarly to other posters, I also made a list after I broke up with my ex last year. When I look at it now, I see it was already quite FDS-y:

is not insecure;
must like people, be interested in people and curious about them (not see all communication as a power play - I guess this is tied with not being insecure);
has healthy self-respect and boundaries;
is ambitious and knows what he wants;
must have a calling and talent in the field of his calling;
wants children and family;
is a feminist (preferably, identifies as one, but would not be a dealbreaker if he didn't, as long as he is feminist in his actions and displays adequate knowledge about gender inequality issues);
is able to invest equally in the household;
understands and appreciates my professional challenges and talent;
makes me feel secure that he will be a good and responsible father and partner;
is not violent in any form;
does not avoid being affectionate in public with me, is proud to have me and have a relationship with me;
is able to provide himself at least on an equal level as I provide for myself;
arts, music, cinema is as important for him as it is for me;
must have a matching intellect and our senses of humor must click;
visually attractive for me;
knows that he wants me emotionally and sexually - as a personality, not a one-way provider of attention and sex.

_HEDONISM_BOT · 2020-02-10T17:22:16+00:00

First and foremost, he must be 6'3 or taller. NO EXCEPTIONS.

profile must be well written, photos must be interesting. He must absolutely be single, childless, and looking for an LTR leading to marriage and children in the future. He must have a Bachelor's degree or higher in his education, and he must have them by the time I swipe on them. I don't date students. He must be employed, gainfully. He must have his own place and show the typical signs of adulthood & responsibility: His own place, his own car, his own money. He must have good hygiene and know how to dress well and how to respond to social cues and be social. I WILL NOT DATE INTROVERTS. He must be absolutely drug and alcohol-free and a non-smoker. He must not be religious, with bonus points for atheism and agnosticism. He must be fit and not balding. He can be no more than 5 years older than I am. He must display good mental, emotional, and physical health. He must be kind, display humility, and be humble.

NOTHING HERE IS NEGOTIABLE. As soon as I find out one of my items on my list isn't checked off, I begin the ghost/slow-fade process and move onto the next best thing.

Title	What’s your requirements
Author	alwaysheretolearn
Upvotes	26
Comments	25
Date	February 10, 2020 2:17 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/f1qwe2/whats_your_requirements/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/whats-your-requirements.682897 https://theredarchive.com/post/682897

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