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jeanneeebeanneee Archive

View 2 posts and 642 comments by jeanneeebeanneee on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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38

THIS. Only a man would think that "limiting options" is a bad thing in a dating context. It's called being selective and it's the whole point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 05:19 PM
28

Men will play any card available to them to try to manipulate women into giving them what they want, and this includes the race card (I hate that expression as a rule, but it's apt here). Personally I don't care if a strange man finds me racist for minding my own business. It's none of my concern.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 06:21 PM
56

A lot of them seem to be pretty comfortable coming back with a sneer and a slur. Being called a bitch by a strange man doesn't bother me anymore - my ex husband used that one enough that it completely lost its effect - but when I was younger I got caught off guard a few times. Now I'm just like "congratulations, that's very astute of you to notice" lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 01:16 PM
21

Greetings, I would like to subscribe to your newsletter
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 09:28 PM
19

Didn't even know where you were moving to. Wow. This reminds me of an old childhood friend who complained on social media one time that her husband of 13 years (at the time) had to call her to ask her what her birthdate was when he was booking some kind of reservation for them. (Spoiler, they're still married, almost 20 years now with 3 teenaged kids and I bet he still doesn't know what her birthdate is) Anyway, congrats on loving yourself more than that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 07:50 PM
3

"I noticed you on that FDS and you seem like you need a man in your life" Read the handbook, scrote
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 06:30 PM
12

"I'm not feeling it anymore." That's all the reason you need to give, and it's the truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 04:39 PM
28

This is why I feel completely comfortable with my "never combining finances with a man again" stance. Men who call women gold diggers are 100% projecting. As if they wouldn't feel entirely entitled to all your hard earned assets if they got within a mile of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 04:23 PM
8

I'm sorry you had to find out like this sis, but at least you know now. Your life will be a lot better without him (but you already knew that I'm sure). Hugs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 08:19 PM
62

BRO... if you need an app to tell you if someone is attractive or not, you need to go lie down in a ditch and never get up again. Can this dude even wipe his own ass?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 08:15 PM
6

"Have you ever considered how your existence as a menstruating human female is unfair to me"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 06:40 PM
35

Yep. The strategy gets misinterpreted all the time by people who are desperate to tear it down - "oh, you just want to find a simp who will buy you dinner and give you whatever you want." Actually, we use paying for dinner as a preliminary vet, a "litmus test" if you will, to see how they would treat us in a relationship. If he is willing to make an effort. If he's worth our time. The goal is to remain able, willing, and eager to secure our own bag - because depending on a man for your financial…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 08:13 PM
134

There is no way to know for sure that your partner is and always will be HV. 6 months, 6 years, whatever - there are simply no guarantees. This is why FDS emphasizes independence and not leaving yourself vulnerable to getting fucked over, financially or otherwise, should your partner decide to betray you in service of his own whims. Which, in case the horror stories on here don't make it obvious, can happen with ANY MAN AT ANY TIME. He can be a great partner for years and turn into a piece of sh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 05:21 PM
68

"You're too good for me" literally = "I am low value." He's spelling it out for you. Dump and block.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 11:58 PM
6

The only way you can make him care is to dump him. And then it's not your problem anymore. If anyone tries to make you feel guilty for protecting yourself, remember that your self-preservation is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY and yours alone. What others think of how you handle your business doesn't matter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 09:40 PM
6

My ex was a complete asshole when I woke up in the middle of the night with appendicitis, when our son was 3 weeks old. He straight up told me I was faking to "get out of" taking care of my own son, and to "just go the fuck back to bed and I'll deal with him." I drove myself to the ER. He screamed at me and made me cry when I asked him to change the crib sheet the day after I got out of the hospital from having my appendix out. This was many years ago, and my anger over it is still so raw that w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 05:31 PM
34

Men never get asked it, and yet I almost always find myself wondering it. And it's always the mediocre ones who are the most confident. I like to call these guys "wrong and strong" lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 03:07 PM
9

This obviously required planning and effort, and it looks like they both enjoyed it, so in my book it's a good date. I'd be delighted with this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 09:59 PM
6

Interesting how he hasn't even considered improving his own value and confidence so he can actually interact with women in a positive, constructive, pro-social manner. Nope, just "bitches should wear more clothes so I can be more comfortable in my personal failure, which I have decided to embrace." Pathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 07:57 PM
26

I love my RBF. Don't talk to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 07:48 PM
5

People who say this shit should say what they really mean, which is "If a man abuses you, it's because you deserve it."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 10:16 PM
152

Love these! You should start an Instagram and/or YouTube featuring these creations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 06:57 PM
21

THIS RIGHT HERE 👆👆👆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 02:07 PM
44

Men just don’t get this. They absolutely do get this. They yell because they want us to feel fear.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 02:01 PM
15

LMFAO at that "good luck" neg at the end. When all someone has to do to be better than you is brush his teeth daily, she doesn't need luck to find him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 04:09 PM
2

The kids are all grown now, carpe diem and dump his ass sis. You won't regret it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 06:54 PM
22

If she tolerates this once, she's marked for the duration of their relationship as someone who will take this shit. ("This shit" being him being a dick to her to make himself look masculine in front of his friends.) If she gets back with him, she's in for an avalanche of bullshit, because he will now feel completely justified in "getting back at her" for daring to check him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 08:15 PM
10

Not the Pokemon cards ☠️☠️☠️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 07:42 PM
87

Yup. Anecdotally, the times in my life when my weight has gone up have been when I was in bad relationships. I look and feel my best when single.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 03:44 PM
13

Yeah this is a classic "type YES if you agree" boomer facebook meme. The truth is, that there are lots of people out there who are trained as part of their job to spot trafficking and take appropriate steps to get the authorities involved - flight attendants, hotel clerks, and many others. Everyone who foils a human trafficker is a hero in my book.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 04:11 PM
22

The idea that there's that perfect someone out there for everyone, and that we can all find "true love," is incredibly harmful - especially in conjunction with the conditioning that we receive that makes us believe we have somehow failed if we don't end up married. The truth is, "true love" is incredibly rare, and chances are, there isn't a perfect someone out there for you. Which means that you're way more likely to be generally better off staying single. I have been married, and it didn't work…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 11:43 PM
20

"Am I the asshole for insisting that my husband stop abusing me?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 11:08 PM
10

Great post. The "LVM as used car salesman" comparison is extremely apt. He's advertising and selling a sketchy product (himself) that he knows you probably don't actually want. So instead of improving the product, he puts his efforts into employing deceptive strategies to make you think you DO want it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 10:26 PM
22

I've mostly seen this term used to refer to the nice-sounding but essentially meaningless platitudes of political rhetoric. "Freedom" is a good example - it sounds like something we should all value and want, and it appeals strongly to people's emotions, but there's no universally accepted definition for what it actually means in the context that politicians use it. Like "Vote for us, our party supports freedom." What does that actually mean? They never tell you that, just "freedom good so anyon…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 10:06 PM
81

This. She blocked him because he's a low class idiot with terrible manners. "Want to go on a date with me? By the way, I'm not paying for you." Incredibly rude and presumptuous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 05:10 PM
32

Reminder: Financially responsible/secure men do not worry about "gold diggers."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 05:09 PM
13

Just say no to texting paragraphs. I promise you, he's not worth the effort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 11:14 PM
12

Noam is the man. One of the most intelligent, reasonable thinkers/academics of our time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 03:06 PM
29

I mean, there would be no police protecting them from us either, just saying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 03:20 PM
9

He told on himself with "do the minimum." He doesn't view his wife as a life partner, he views her as his personal sex provider who should service him on demand. I hope she has a great future with her new partner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 02:15 PM
3

You're allowed to find bald/balding men attractive. Lots of us do, myself included. But feel bad for them? Can't relate, lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 09:29 PM
17

It's a still from the movie "Failure to Launch" and I'm guessing it means he lived with his parents.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 09:28 PM
3

We all did
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 09:26 PM
9

This. The reason they say stuff like this is because they think we are somehow taking their opinion into account when we make choices on how to live our own lives. They're entitled to their opinions, and we're entitled to ignore them. It really is that easy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 02:11 PM
3

I'm not bothered about what you prefer. If you don't like my makeup then don't talk to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 02:09 PM
12

Queen Beth with the truth bomb 🎇
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 02:06 PM
3

Just stupid, or possibly both
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 12:22 AM
16

In other words: His wages are being garnished for unpaid child support
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 12:20 AM
5

Right now I'm struggling. Having to work and do distance learning/home school with my child (elementary school age) is tough. His dad and I split custody so I only have to do both every other week, but it's still a lot and I get very burned out, mentally and emotionally. So right now my vitamins are coming mainly through physical self care. I'm prioritizing getting outside for physical activity every single day (unless it's raining, then I do indoor workouts). I take my son to the park on days h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 03:22 PM
3

Translation: "They're easier to control"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 03:14 PM
2

If he doesn't meet your standards, waiting for him to change does nothing but waste your time. Dump him and level up. What do you have to lose besides a bad relationship with a low value man?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 03:06 PM
20

Don't even waste your energy by being insulted. I mean I understand why you do feel insulted, but this kind of bullshit isn't worth getting pressed over. LVM are always going to shoot their pathetic shot with women they find attractive. It's just what they do. They get horny and they don't think about anything except "PP HARD, SLEAZE ON WOMAN," and society has taught them that this is fine and acceptable. I promise you he never even considered your character, or anything else besides "hot girl f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 02:54 PM
3

Sorry but what is this comment? If you're in a relationship with the wrong person then dump him. Read the handbook sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 02:16 PM
2

Good for you sis. A dog (especially an intense, high energy breed like a Husky) is a major commitment and a lot of work. It's not a toy to make your man feel better while he's sick. I swear so many men say they're "emasculated" when what they really mean is "I didn't automatically get my way and I can't handle it."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 02:06 PM
16

"Move in with me in this new place and pay half the rent" "I can't afford that, sorry" "WTF GOLD DIGGING B*TCH I'M NO SIMP" Lol is she serious asking if she's TA? How does this idiot expect her to pay for this shit when she literally doesn't have the money? Is he slow or just trying to get her to dump him?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 01:32 PM
17

Gay men tend to be more focused on their own appearance, because gay men are extremely picky when it comes to their partners' appearance. And since men are socialized to feel completely justified in demanding perfection in their sex partners, these men know that they have to keep on top of their game to get the amount of sex that they want. Women on the other hand are taught that we're not allowed to have standards, and to accept dusty men and be grateful for their attentions, so straight men be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 01:10 PM
12

They're only "self-aware" when they think it will get them pity and/or get them out of trouble. Shameless is what they are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 01:04 PM
4

work from home
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 05:26 PM
1

Glad to hear it. Be well sis. 🌻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 03:58 PM
2

This is PTSD. You don't have to be a combat veteran or a victim of a violent crime to get it - abusive relationships are a major cause of PTSD. Don't hesitate to seek out therapy to help with healing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 02:37 PM
16

Dear lord. Please let this be fake. The worst part is, I can totally believe it's real. (The best part of this is his assertion that he "NEEDS" those power words to power him up for his shitty, dead end job that he apparently has no plans to level up from.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 01:38 PM
6

If a prospect is put off by you stating your clear and reasonable standards in your bio, he's probably LV. (Note that men never worry about making their bios subtle or palatable for us - they put their audacity right out there and still feel entitled to more attention than most of them ever get on OLD.) For what it's worth, I like your wording a lot and I think you should keep using it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 11:50 PM
36

I would never be willing to call my SO "daddy," and if he wanted me to I would consider it a major red flag. The subtext is utterly nauseating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 11:40 PM
29

Back in the day, we used to call this "the rebound." Dating someone who's fresh out of a relationship makes you the rebound, and it's not something you want to be. It almost never works out the way you want it to, yet everyone thinks they're going to be that 0.5% of rebounds that develop into a real, functional HV relationship. Don't fall for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 06:14 PM
54

Your SO should never double as your therapist, but they should at least be able to empathize if you're struggling. My ex straight up told me to shut up about my problems and that he didn't care. He only gave a shit that I was causing problems for HIM by not being perfect all the time. As if I was purposely having issues to annoy him, or something. I saw a therapist and psychiatrist, and eventually divorced the ex, and - shocker - my mental health problems have improved dramatically. I'm off all …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 04:10 PM
7

It's the first one for me, lol. I mean, I CAN compromise, but let's face it, I'd rather not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 03:27 PM
41

Horribly unattractive, racist, and misogynistic. The trifecta.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 11:06 PM
1

Best case scenario, he really was "just joking" which means he thinks that reprobate shit is funny. Which means he's intellectually challenged. Again, this is AT BEST.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 07:19 PM
16

It's funny cuz it's sad
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 07:12 PM
89

"Being clean is gay"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 05:38 PM
32

"I was testing you, you failed." "OH DARN, well, nice knowing ya Mickey"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 05:35 PM
1

Thanks for all the work y'all do for this sub and this community!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 04:49 PM
6

"Serious inquiries only" lmao love it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 09:57 PM
8

So... someone you've been dating for a matter of a few months feels entitled to inherit all your money and that doesn't set off a chorus of alarms for you? Lunacy. It doesn't matter if she has a child or not, they shouldn't even be discussing this unless they have already set a wedding date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 07:42 PM
52

Your instinct is correct here - unless she asks for your feedback, you shouldn't give it directly. Try bringing up, naturally in the course of conversation, your own experiences where you had an opportunity to apply FDS principles. Then when this shit blows up in her face, which it probably will, she might be more receptive. Unfortunately there isn't really anything you can do to save her from herself on the front end. We all have to learn these things by experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 06:53 PM
3

If this is real, then she must be disabled or something. This goes beyond just "I'm starting to get suspicious" territory.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 06:36 PM
21

I've never known a man who was as smart as he thought he was. Even the truly intelligent ones have an overinflated view of their own capabilities.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 11:47 PM
12

☠️☠️☠️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 08:19 PM
25

This is what people mean when they say "You can't have your cake and eat it too." The bill for your fuckery always comes due eventually. My only question is, was it worth it? (lol)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 07:34 PM
45

You don't have to be OK with either. I know, strange but true. You have nothing lose by having high standards, except the chance to have your time wasted by a low value man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 03:07 PM
7

The definition of queen energy. Too bad this man is probably incapable of internalizing these truths.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 02:56 PM
19

thunderous applause
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 11:47 PM
1

Excellent point. Although their socialization does reinforce and encourage their strategy, whereas we are socialized to minimize ours and favor theirs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 09:07 PM
4

Yep. I know that little voice all too well, and unfortunately I also know the impulse to second-guess, doubt, and ignore in order to keep that man that you still love. Learning how to love yourself more is the real game-changer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 07:30 PM
9

Girl you answered your own question. He adds nothing positive to your life. Block him and be free of that negativity. I second the other comments recommending the handbook as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 07:17 PM
6

Next time anyone tries to tell me that I "shouldn't try to make reproductive health political," I'm going to show them this post. Because apparently now your party affiliation is somehow related to how you treat potential romantic partners. (Although honestly, it doesn't surprise me one bit that a man who bases his identity on being "RW" feels justified in relating to potential sex partners on such an entitled, dishonest level.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 06:18 PM
28

I've only had one breakup that it took me significant time to get over, because I still loved him when he broke up with me. (Although with hindsight and experience, I can now acknowledge that that relationship was an attachment-disordered, dysfunctional nightmare and he did me a favor by dumping me.) With my other former relationships (including my marriage), I was already emotionally over it by the time the breakup officially happened. When you've already cried so much about it, and you don't l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 06:00 PM
8

"but I love him" Never have to scroll very far to find it. I just have to wonder why she took the time to write and post about this if she loves him enough to overlook it and stay with him. I guess she just hasn't learned that you should believe him when he shows you who he really is, the first time. "I love him" isn't going to solve this problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 05:43 PM
10

"You're basically forcing your husband to rape you, you should work on your relationship and stop being such a bad wife" haha ok. And yet we're the crazy/unreasonable ones for promoting self-love and encouraging vetting out predatory men. Cool cool cool
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 05:38 PM
46

Calling this art is a stretch
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 04:17 PM
19

If you accept it (by overlooking it in favor of his "actually good qualities") then it's not unacceptable. And no, he will never just spontaneously stop doing it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 04:16 PM
8

WHY WASTE TIME SAY LOT WORD WHEN FEW WORD DO TRICK
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 12:04 PM
12

I'm in the "not right now" camp. I'm focusing on other things at the moment, after getting out of a bad marriage (divorce final a little over 2 years ago). I expect that my priorities will evolve over time, because that's what usually happens in life, and I'm open to dating again in the future. And thanks to the mindset shift and other knowledge gained from FDS, I am optimistic that it will be a better experience when I am ready to try again. I don't blame women who opt out completely though. An…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 09:22 PM
27

"feminine energy" = "doesn't talk back or challenge me in any way" Good luck with that, dude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 08:57 PM
52

When I was in my 30's, it really clicked for me that the things men seek from women are fundamentally at odds with the things that women seek from men. Of course, there are men that seek close, honest, giving, loving, trusting, mutually respectful relationships with women (i.e. high value men), but as we know, they are rare. The majority of men are socialized to view women as a sort of frustrating hybrid: we are simultaneously the means to the end that they want most (sex), and the obstacle that…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 07:02 PM
48

The important thing is that you learned the truth. Unfortunately I was a lot older than 29 when I learned that prioritizing a man's wants/needs over your own financial stability is a huge mistake.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 04:27 PM
21

Only a fool believes in fairy tales, because they aren't real. It's right there in the name. Everyone has certain things that they're superstitious about (and I include religious belief in that category, not because I have anything against it but because it's not evidence-based). But believing that your life will work out like a cheesy rom-com just because you want it to is lunacy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 04:25 PM
14

He's a talented musician, but definitely not a HVM. He's a prodigious drug user and womanizer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 02:57 PM
303

This is why I encourage younger women to focus on their education and career over pleasing men. Men will always be there. But your future gets closer every day. The more established and independent you are, the better off you are in a relationship. Having skills and resources of your own makes you a lot less vulnerable to being trapped in an abusive situation. That added security does wonders for your peace of mind and overall outlook too, which makes it much more likely that you attract higher …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 02:29 PM
13

Hot take maybe, but she should definitely NOT move in with this low value man who apparently is too stupid to understand that having unprotected sex frequently leads to pregnancy. What she should do is end their relationship, pursue child support, and move on with her life. If she moves in and attempts to continue their romantic relationship and co-parent with him, and just hope that he magically decides at some point that he's ready to commit, she will absolutely regret it. All he's going to do…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 09:44 PM
27

"Tell me who I need to pretend to be in order for you to let me fuck you" Gross. How about no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 04:34 PM
4

It's not classist or white supremacist to be turned off my someone who can't or won't bother to differentiate between your/you're and there/their/they're. We're allowed to have these standards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 02:49 PM
1

I don't know what your affiliation is, and it doesn't matter because it's not germane to my point. Again, people being political in the comments doesn't mean that the post is "political content."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 12:33 PM
9

This isn't political content just because the subject persons are political figures. I align politically with the same party as them (mostly), and can still acknowledge that Bill Clinton is a sexual predator and his wife has displayed some extreme pickme-like behavior in overlooking it. I know Americans love to think that this is a thing, but just because you have the same party affiliation as someone, it doesn't mean you have to approve of everything they do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 09:54 PM
6

It's mind-blowing that you think anyone would be interested in you based on this bio
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 08:38 PM
18

2 heads of the same monster
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 10:06 PM
11

Live and learn, "Dan." You can be evil, or you can be an idiot, but you can't be both and expect not to have a bad time. Now you know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 08:54 PM
158

Her blog didn't blow up his life. His actions did. It's called consequences.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 07:40 PM
6

THANK YOU. I love the looks I get when I answer this dumbshit question with "because I don't enjoy relationships." It's like people don't understand that being single is even an option, much less the preferable choice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 06:33 PM
14

1:1 odds that this same guy complains about women "playing games" lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 05:04 PM
88

Man: repeatedly touches a woman's body without her consent and in direct defiance of her requests for him to stop Woman: "Please stop, I'm recording you" Man: "How dare you record me without my consent??" You can't make this shit up. I hope she got a shot of his pig face and reported his ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 03:08 PM
5

Legions = allegiance? But yes, there are no lies here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 03:02 PM
16

If no one has been willing to fuck you for a year, what makes you think you're just going to miraculously happen upon a "slump buster"? Maybe you should consider that you're the problem, and improve yourself before contaminating an innocent woman with your many defects.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 02:17 PM
5

This scrote has found the secret to keeping gold diggers away - just make sure you never have money and sponge off your mom forever! What a genius, he should totally give a TED talk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 02:13 PM
40

Ugly I can deal with. I'm not going to reject a guy just for not being genetically blessed with perfect looks. What I do judge and reject for is laziness and low effort when they feel entitled to a woman who puts time and work into her health and appearance. Lord knows I'm no perfect ten. But I love myself and I take care of myself accordingly, because I like to look nice and feel good. I groom myself pleasantly, keep my house clean, dress cute, exercise, eat healthy, and otherwise do the best I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 07:38 PM
22

Wow, an abusive, hair-trigger drunk - what a prize. And she cares if this pig still "finds her attractive"? Anyone who talks to my kids like that will regret it, period.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 04:23 PM
24

DON'T EVEN JOKE ABOUT IT WAAAAHHHH. What a coward.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 04:19 PM
3

This scrote thinks he's Vladimir Putin or some shit. Boy please. He probably works part time as a bank teller and drives a 15 year old Subaru.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 06:00 PM
16

It's a legal dodge to prevent catching a criminal charge for soliciting. Prostitutes is exactly what they're looking for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 01:13 PM
4

Low value people hate being held to the same standards that they feel entitled to hold others to. It makes them feel attacked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 01:11 PM
65

If he brags about his "power of persuasion," his "speech 100," or his ability to talk people into things they normally wouldn't agree to. I.e. manipulative af. He will use this power against you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 12:43 PM
62

The daddy issues is a big one. My ex is incredibly damaged from his absent father/abusive stepfather and it definitely took a toll on our relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 12:39 PM
45

Ugh, the worst. Men never want to hear how creepy this is, they always act like we're dooming them to die alone because it's inappropriate to leverage your power as a customer to put women on the spot. Maybe if y'all weren't such insecure losers you would have the sack to approach women in social settings on an equal footing, instead of cornering them when they're at work and they have to deal with you or risk getting disciplined or fired.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 09:49 PM
41

This is - of course - about racism, but it's also about insecure men just being plain butthurt about women choosing men who aren't them. The whole thing is majorly low-IQ and LV.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 07:00 PM
41

I'm sure he was completely flummoxed as to why she didn't lavish him with praise for his non-effort. If you're going to cook a frozen lasagna, fine - I actually think Stouffers lasagna is a delicious treat - but be real with yourself and don't be hyping that shit for a week.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 06:19 PM
34

This reminds me of the time I fell down some outdoor deck stairs one night at a get-together with extended family. Every other man at the party came running to see if I was OK, my husband didn't even turn around and wasn't even aware it had happened until well afterward. Then he was annoyed with me because I had 2 sprained ankles and he had to drive home. And we stayed married for another 1.5 years after that! Yes, I know, clown shit on my part. At least now I know that when a man shows me he do…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 04:42 PM
62

In a weird way, I support the idea of what he's saying, which is that men should stop being such insecure little babies about rejection. Of course he said it in the scrotiest possible way, but the point still stands.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 04:37 PM
55

If a man did this to me I would not hesitate to call his parents and tell them all about who they raised. And then tell them he's on his way home because I'm done with him. He deserves to suffer for this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 04:30 PM
5

You will never be able to know the truth about what is happening inside someone else's mind. I would recommend that you speak with a therapist about your anxiety, so that you are able to have happy and functional relationships. Be well sis! We are rooting for you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 01:17 PM
3

Such a shithead move to offer to take your girl on a trip and then ruin it with this stupid garbage. At least give her the chance to kick in for her own upgrade so they can sit together. The fact that his mind can't entertain anything but "me in first class you in coach" is a HUGE RED FLAG. Class is only one of the things that this guy is sorely lacking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 12:40 PM
3

It's ok to have complicated feelings/emotions about these procedures. It's an uncomfortable (but necessary) part of life, and many people have history of trauma that makes it even more difficult. It helps me to think of it as self-care. It is very important to your long-term health to have these screenings done. If it's very difficult for you, it can also help to speak to a therapist or other mental health pro to get to the root of the issue, as well as learn some strategies to help you stay cal…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 11:21 PM
15

Nice doughy arms and T2 diabetes knuckles.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 07:55 PM
40

I assume all men are sociopaths until they demonstrate otherwise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 06:47 PM
5

Girl, I was married to this guy (started out great, ended up a low effort LVM) for 6 years. I finally had the cold, hard truth hit me in a lightbulb moment - he doesn't make any effort because he doesn't love me. We split up 2.5 years ago and life has improved a lot. Unfortunately I still have to deal with him for a good chunk of the future because we had a child together, but overall it's great not being married to someone who doesn't love me. The lessons here: Vet hard and vet long. Trust your…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 05:57 PM
4

Girl are you serious? So he admitted he purposely tried to upset you because it amuses him. WOW. Bullet dodged.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 08:35 PM
11

So is she just going to stay there and keep providing BJs on demand to this predator after her baby is born? And if he starts demanding access to her child in lieu of rent, what then? Girl, get off of Reddit and get your ass to a women's shelter. If you can get online to post to that shit sub, you can Google helpful resources in your area. GET OUT OF THERE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 06:48 PM
4

There's a lot of things I will let slide at least once, but lateness isn't one of them. That's just my personal stance. I make the effort to be on time, and if there's a true emergency that is going to cause me to be late I make the effort to notify right away. If you can't or won't make the same efforts then we will never work out, PERIODDDDDD
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 05:53 PM
14

Just one more reason to stay single and VET, VET, VET!!! And never, ever forget that sunk cost is a fallacy!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 05:47 PM
2

The mistakes we made in the past are teaching and learning experiences. Looking back at your mistakes with regret and shame accomplishes nothing. Your mistakes were only a cause for shame if you learned nothing from them and keep repeating them. Onward and upward.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 04:32 PM
34

Keep in mind that blocking someone on Reddit doesn't prevent them from seeing you. It only prevents you from seeing them. May want to create a new user name that he doesn't know about, otherwise he could easily still stalk your post history. Stay safe sis! Edit: fixed formatting
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 05:54 PM
12

ALWAYS!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 04:45 PM
63

This is cross posted on r/crazygirls with a crybaby title accusing us of hating "man in general." Which is dumb, because this is obviously busting balls of men who don't text back and try to move in before committing, not men "in general," but OK.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 04:15 PM
10

He's severely mentally ill (has confirmed he suffers from bipolar disorder) and is less than compliant with his treatment plan. I know it must be very difficult to be married to someone like that. I couldn't do it. And to be someone like Kim - flush with her own wealth and high status - who chooses to remain in that situation... I can't wrap my head around it. I would have been long gone by now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 12:14 AM
11

Shallon is a controversial person (both on this sub and in general lol). I have my own opinions about her as a person, but I will give her props for her spot on dating advice and observations. She knows her shit in that department.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 12:10 AM
30

Taking an autistic person's social difficulties as a personal attack is truly a new low. I mean, I can even sympathize with his frustration and discomfort, but I have to agree with the wife's suggestion that he go do something else while the friend is there if it's so awful for him. His wife lives there too and has every right to socialize with friends there. Neither the wife nor the friend is doing anything wrong here, and this dude needs to grow the fuck up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 11:44 PM
30

Yep. The strategy here is, don't rise to the bait. By giving them the emotional reaction they're seeking, you give them the upper hand in the interaction. Learn to spot the manipulation tactics and don't fall for their LV games.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 12:55 AM
65

Creeps and predators know full well that you as a female were most likely socialized to be polite and not rock the boat, and they never hesitate to use this to their advantage. If someone makes you uncomfortable, giving them the benefit of the doubt is almost always a mistake.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 04:09 PM
4

This goes beyond LV "throw the whole man away." This is "burn it down and salt the ashes" NVM tier fuckery.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 02:15 PM
2

Certain words are auto-filtered on this sub. A mod will manually review your post and if it's determined to be appropriate content, they will allow it to go through. Please make sure you have read the materials linked in the sidebar before commenting. Thanks sis 🌻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 02:09 PM
45

Divorced for just over 2 years and can confirm, I'm much happier. I still have problems or whatever, just like everyone, but getting out of a bad relationship is one of the best things you can do for your overall happiness and mental health. I'll be much more selective with future relationships, even if that means I stay single for the rest of my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 01:21 PM
13

"Whether I have a house or not" = he doesn't have a house.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 01:17 PM
7

My ex used to call me a bitch all the time to shame/bully me into letting him have his way in everything. I'll die alone before I allow another man to ever call me that again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 07:48 PM
79

Bingo. This is red flag shit all over the place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 05:41 PM
14

I don't have faith in anything. I don't mean that in a negative or nihilistic way, I'm actually a pretty cheerful and happy person overall. I just make decisions based on evidence, not faith. When someone shows me who they are, I take it at face value and act accordingly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 05:35 PM
32

The occasional well-timed sarcastic remark is funny. Defaulting to sarcasm because you aren't emotionally intelligent enough to communicate in an honest way is a deal-breaker.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 05:03 PM
42

They don't do this to see if we're "actually interested." If I said yes to a date, that means I'm actually interested. They do it to test how desperate you are/how much bullshit you will tolerate. If you let this slide, you're now marked as someone who he can shit on and still get what he wants from you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 04:53 PM
10

You're very welcome. I understand being a people pleaser - I was raised in a similar way and I know what it's like to feel that pressure. Also, it's completely normal and fine to want to be validated on some things. But needing constant validation to prop up your self-worth is not healthy, and it does not lead to good relationship outcomes. Best of luck, sis. I hope you continue to overcome your upbringing, level up and flourish!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 09:09 PM
66

Basing your value on male attention is what makes pickme's. You clearly still have some lasting insecurity and are looking to "winning" male attention to inform your sense of self. It helps to be mindful of the fact that male desire is not inherently valuable, and is not a reflection of your value as a woman, as a human, or as a potential HV partner. Your value comes from within - not only do you have innate value, irrespective of how you compare to others, but you also have buildable value that…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 06:06 PM
24

Yeah I've learned that anonymity is your friend in these situations. A lot of people receiving that sort of news are going to shoot the messenger, so it's best to not expose yourself to that. Send screenshots from a burner email or other media that doesn't use your real identity. You still did the right thing though. Just sucks that you got punished for it. You can rest easy knowing that woman knows deep down that she's getting clowned hard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 09:52 PM
1

Ya love to see it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 12:40 AM
6

A lot of other subs will just auto-ban an account for having content posted in this sub. They don't even look at your post/comment before banning you, they just see FDS history and assume it's about how to trick a man into buying you dinner. (Since that seems to be the prevailing ignorant/outsider view of what FDS is for. That, or that it's a "hate sub" that teaches women how to murder men by not having sex with them immediately after meeting them.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 04:59 PM
29

LMAO, that last line. She's savage and I love it. Glad she dumped him and didn't waste any more of her time with a man she didn't see a future with. Don't second-guess yourself when you know deep down that you're done.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 01:24 PM
50

There's no way to explain it to her AND stay, dumbfuck. Unless she's a desperate pickme, in which case, best of luck to everyone involved in this mess. "I'm not leaving, but there's no future" LMAO this man is legitimately mentally handicapped.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 06:39 PM
10

RIGHT? I know several nurses, and they make decent money but not nearly as much as they SHOULD for the amount and difficulty of the work that they do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 01:39 AM
3

You are most welcome sis. That's what this community is for, support and encouragement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 06:41 PM
77

"The void inside" - dude you ARE a void. A burning, bottomless, insatiable pit of want and need.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 06:09 PM
6

I had an abusive, mentally unstable boyfriend when I was in my 20's who pulled the "I can't make it without you" card. Well... he TRIED. In retrospect, he was an absolute flotilla of red flags from the beginning (love bombing, attempting to isolate me from my friends, being really dedicated to obvious lies, etc. He even went behind my back and got his dick sucked by an acquaintance of mine) but I was too inexperienced at the time to recognize them for what they were. Anyway he was gobsmacked whe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 10:53 PM
9

I would definitely advise someone your age to dedicate the vast majority of your time and energy to furthering your own goals of career, education, etc. Not that there's anything wrong with wanting to get married young, and if that's your goal, then that's OK too. Just keep in mind that getting married very young, before you're well established and decently independent financially, leaves you vulnerable if your marriage should take a turn for the worse. The more established and independent you a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 10:17 PM
6

If you're not interested in keeping up the conversation, you're not interested. He can accuse you of whatever he wants to, that doesn't mean you're obligated to show interest in a boring text exchange. If he's interested in you he'll make the effort to ask for/plan a date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 10:10 PM
5

This is a completely valid point of view on this issue. I know if I were childfree I would be extremely hesitant to get involved with a man who already had children, even if he was completely current on his financial obligations. That would be signing up for way more uncompensated emotional labor than I'm willing to do. There was a time when I would have been willing to do all that, but those days are over for me. My labor (emotional or otherwise) is reserved for my son and myself. I'm in no hur…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 09:38 PM
12

Love this! Hope you have a great night with Victor!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 08:46 PM
3

As a divorced mom, I support this. A parent and a childfree person are already going to be incompatible in that way. Exceptions can be made when the person you are with eventually wants children of their own, but you still have to tread very carefully if you're dating when you have children. Especially if you (or the person you are dating) have to coparent with someone who may cause problems.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 08:43 PM
27

"I thought you liked me!" Um, I do... but what does liking you have to do with it? I like football, but I'm not going to ruin my life for the chance of catching tickets to a game. I can buy tickets or watch the game on TV.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 08:25 PM
11

When I was struggling with my mental health, I got exactly zero empathy from my male partner (or from anyone else TBH). I worked on my issues and came out stronger on the other side, no thanks to anyone but myself and my awesome therapist. No one is going to cater to your problems. It's on you to fix your own shit. And can we please acknowledge that the contingent of people saying "women are trash/wh**es/etc" is just as large and vocal as the contingent saying "men are trash"? I can't with this …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 07:54 PM
41

First of all, you are not inherently worthless. There is simply no merit to that idea. You have value as a person and as a potential relationship partner. The abuse you have suffered has damaged your sense of self worth, but you still deserve to be happy and be treated well in relationships. The strategy here requires a mindset shift. The idea is not to do whatever you need to do to get a relationship. The idea is to maintain your boundaries regardless of whether it makes the man want a relation…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 06:21 PM
30

Unpaid child support is an absolute deal breaker for me, and this is why. You and your children will forever be financially hobbled by your NVM's debt. Not to mention that it shows that he can't be trusted to provide for his children. Dump/divorce. No ifs, ands or buts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 05:21 PM
9

I always think about this when I hear or read about people - it's almost always men/boys - who go off to college and literally can't function without their mom or whoever to be there to tell them every single thing they need to do. Like they rarely shower and when they do, they dry themselves with a dirty t shirt off the floor, which they will then pick up later and wear. Get sick from not eating properly because they can't operate a stove/microwave or keep track of the dining hall hours. Don't …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 05:14 PM
6

So her DM's can look like this ?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 03:52 PM
15

I agree. Love languages are like most other branded self-help jargon - fine in theory, but in practice they're just used to dress up dysfunction or abuse as normal or as something that needs to be enabled. I consider it a red flag now if someone brings up their "love language."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 08:05 PM
16

My ex used to say "I'm a nice guy, until I'm not." At first I thought it was just some funny quirky joke - turns out he wasn't kidding. He IS a nice guy, until he doesn't get his way. Then he's a walking tantrum. So, not really a nice guy at all. Just a manipulator who knows how to be fake to get people to do what he wants them to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 06:32 PM
5

I'm 41, divorced, and happily single. I'm choosing not to date right now, for many reasons, but primarily because I have a young child and I have deemed having a man in my home to be too risky. When my child is older I may choose to rejoin the dating scene. We shall see. Either way, I'm not in a rush to get with another man. I like my life the way it is. I'm free to live as I choose and have very little stress (outside of the ongoing global crisis, but being in a relationship would not help with…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 04:43 PM
3

Uh oh, somebody got a narcissistic injury. God, the cringe factor of this is off the charts. He should be sentenced to at least 5 years of no dating and 10 years of intensive therapy for this shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 03:50 PM
8

Men put up profiles like this and then bitch that they get zero matches. I bet if you asked him to imagine he's browsing and came across this profile, would it appeal to him - all you would get is a blank stare. Scary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 12:13 AM
28

Low IQ vibes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 03:10 PM
30

Next time don't jump the gun on how wonderful some guy is when you've only gone on two dates. THIS. Getting your hopes up is a recipe for disappointment. HVM are extremely rare and vetting takes at least 3 months, usually longer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 03:07 PM
42

Ugh, don't even get me started on Newt Gingrich. I grew up in his congressional district. He's the archetype of the Republican hypocrite scumbag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 05:24 PM
130

I think about this all the time. I was only a couple of years younger than Monica when this story broke and Clinton got impeached, and I was blown away by how much hate and backlash she got. The media completely demonized her and made it out like it was all her fault - even then I knew that was some major bullshit. Not that she was completely innocent, of course she knew that having sex with your married boss is wrong, but the power dynamics in play there were about as skewed as they possibly co…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 05:12 PM
26

Dump, block, and take a long hard look at your choices
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 04:48 PM
134

That was me! LOL j/k this probably wasn't actually me, but I have definitely done this. I was behind a teenage couple in line at Starbucks one morning a couple of years ago, and the boy was making fun of the girl for something. She was clearly upset and wouldn't respond to him, and he said "stop being such a bitch, I'm joking." I loudly said "WOW THAT'S REALLY SHITTY, YOU SHOULD DUMP HIM." They both looked like deer in headlights and ignored me, but I like to think she took my advice at some poi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 04:43 PM
59

"Your relationship has an expiration date" well, he's not wrong about that. Expiration date today. DUMP HIM
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 08:39 PM
6

Oh my lulz. He's like a living, breathing parody.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 08:36 PM
25

Our strategy is strongly intersectional with radical feminist ideology, so in a twisted sort of way, it makes sense that ignorant men would try to dismiss us as man-hating "legbeards." And obviously it helps them cope to believe that we're all undesirable or ugly or whatever. (That's the content of most of the hate DM's I get - "UR ugly" or "Ur p*ssy is used up," that sort of brain-dead misogyny 101 crap.) Speaking just for myself here - I don't hate men. Life would be easier if I did. I could j…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 05:05 PM
11

Past trauma can be an explanation, but never an excuse. Same goes for mental/physical illness, disability, plain old bad luck, or any other negative life circumstance. Once we become adults, we are accountable for our own choices and for the effects that they have on others. Your difficult past is NEVER a license to abuse others or violate their boundaries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 04:56 PM
4

Honestly, if this is the kind of wife you want to be, then go for it. But don't be shocked when your man does not reciprocate, and DEFINITELY don't be shocked when he disrespects you, cheats, or is otherwise worthless. Because when you do every menial little chore for your man, you're sending the message that his wants and needs are the only ones that matter. It becomes an expectation, not a blessing. He will feel entitled to it, not grateful. This is the shit that leads to men divorcing their w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 09:53 PM
13

"The one and only thing I bring to the table is the same thing that literally every other man on Earth has, i.e. my penis. Please line up in an orderly fashion, ladies. PS - No golddiggers"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 02:07 PM
2

OLD = online dating. Tinder etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 05:13 AM
92

Bringing up Amy Schumer is a great test for figuring out which of the men around you are snowflakes. It's hilarious how triggered some of them get. I mean even if she weren't a hugely successful, wealthy, and famous comedian, Amy Schumer would still be out of most men's league.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 09:34 PM
134

No man is going to find you less attractive because you have stretch marks. Reminder, a man will fuck a hole in a microwaved cantaloupe, so any man who criticizes stretch marks is a negging sack of shit. Being concerned about your stretch marks just gives LVM more power to use them against you emotionally, so I suggest you stop worrying about them and just continue to be proud of them as a sign of your hard work on your weight loss.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 09:21 PM
7

He's an asshole and an idiot who doesn't even realize that his kids are going to grow up despising him (and rightfully so). I hope she takes him and the school district to the cleaners.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 04:21 PM
42

OLD apps are a societal disease. I do know a few people who have met "the one" on OLD - VERY few, I'm talking like 3 of my friends/acquaintances are now married to decent people they met on OLD - and the other 99%+ percent of people who I know that have used OLD have nothing but horror stories or stories like the one in the OP. The majority of men who use OLD are using it as a pump-and-dump buffet, or best case scenario, as a convenient way to sexually harass women from a "safe distance." I wish…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 04:12 PM
90

"I learned it from you dad"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 01:54 PM
31

I'm a divorced mom of one, and men are most certainly not welcome in my home. Men have already done enough damage to my life as it is. I'd rather die alone than allow a male to risk my child's innocence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 03:51 AM
18

Thanks sis. And RIGHT?? Like, NOW you start giving a fuck about what I think? I just don't understand the thought process of these men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 01:17 AM
12

Knowing him, he probably does.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 10:00 PM
57

The "inept hapless male" trope has always rankled me severely. I remember seeing an ad once for some big retail company's seasonal sale - Macy's or something - where a dad is feeding a toddler and looking stressed, and he says "wHeRe iS yOuR mOtHeR?"all annoyed. Then it cuts to mom having a grand old time shopping this big sale. I couldn't have been more than 15 or so when I saw it but it still made my blood boil. That's your kid too, asshole. Fucking act like it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 09:53 PM
83

Classic LVM behavior. After we decided to split, my ex got all puppy-dog-eyed and said "I just hope you don't blame me." I was genuinely baffled. Like bitch, what do you even care if I blame you? Do you really want to hear that you're perfect and I just want to get a divorce for the hell of it? I just said "Well we both made a lot of mistakes" and left it at that. But... really? REALLY? Unbelievable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 09:33 PM
32

He's a white supremacist "culture warrior" who's basically only famous on Twitter. Complete creep (which obviously goes without saying)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 02:40 PM
19

Also how shitty is he that his ex is literally pregnant with his child and yet he's back on the market. Props to her for getting woke and dumping his ass rather than trying in vain to "make it work."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 02:28 PM
2

Fucking gross. Not even if he were the last man on earth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 02:25 PM
22

Girl... DUMP HIM! He does not love you (and even if he did - NO!) Get OUT of there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 12:59 PM
22

This is a great point, but speaking as a white person, I think a lot of us feel uncomfortable calling anyone out who isn't white, because it feels problematic. You're right though. Any man can be guilty of anti-woman bullshit regardless of race.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 03:19 PM
6

I hate that femininity is such a controversial topic. It boils down to this - do and wear what makes you feel like your best self. It doesn't matter where any of it falls on the femininity scale. Don't ever let men dictate how to do femininity "correctly," or try and shame you for doing you. Femininity is not a weapon or a cudgel or a set of rules that we have to follow or flout. It's just part of what makes you you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 03:11 PM
15

I remember her taking a lot of criticism and victim blaming for it, which is bullshit. I mean my personal stance is no nudes ever, but if a woman sends nudes freely and of her own volition, and then some shitbag shares them or leaks them, she shouldn't be the one taking the heat for that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 11:24 PM
17

Yep. Now they can just pull it up on their phone or tablet in seconds, send it around to everyone they know - there's nothing stopping them from uploading it to Twitter with your @. No other human on Earth gets to have that kind of power over me. PERIODDDDDDDD
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 10:44 PM
47

The hashtag sent me, RIP my sides
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 09:55 PM
16

I avoid Muslim and Christian men. I consider Islam and Christianity to be institutionalized patriarchy, and both have a long, well documented history of oppression of women and marginalized people. (No disrespect to religious people at all, I think everyone should believe as they are moved to. It's just not for me, and I won't give it a role in my life.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 09:47 PM
28

Honestly how did not even one of his boys shame him for this shit over the headset? Not even ONE of them said hey bro, maybe you should log off and be mentally present for the birth of your own child? My son's father is no HVM, and loves him some vidya, but even he knows better than to pull this crap. If I were a doctor or nurse witnessing this, I would not have been able to hold my tongue. Unacceptable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 09:34 PM
53

I've always been an unapologetic "prude" about sending nudes. No one gets free access to my nude body without my consent in the moment. I don't care if you're my husband of 20 years, the answer is always no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 09:09 PM
14

This level of entitled shamelessness is so prevalent in males. My ex is notorious for having no shame about asking for things that any normal, well-socialized person would know to be completely inappropriate. (Although in his defense, his questions are never sexual in nature, but always related to favors or money, which is slightly less awful.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 09:07 PM
68

I GOT A BOOBOO MOMMY FIX MEEE
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 07:34 PM
29

Preach sis. I actually do believe in giving him a chance. As in ONE chance. The first time you show me you aren't what I'm looking for, that's it for me. And yes, that is why I'm happily single and good to remain so until I find one that meets my standards. Having a good job, self-care skills, and financial responsibility are perfectly reasonable standards btw! There's a lot of men AND women out there who would try to tell you that they aren't. Fuck that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 04:14 PM
15

Are mods approving male commenters now? I've seen multiple comments from men over the past week, including a direct reply to one of my comments that was approved by mods after 2 days. It was a bullshit hateful comment from an idiot man. WTF is going on?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 11:34 PM
12

He sounds pathetic. Bullet dodged indeed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 11:18 PM
76

I love that she's worried about offending him by bringing it up, when he clearly gives not one shit about offending her with him dirty stink.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 06:51 PM
8

DUMPHIM
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 02:15 PM
3

This is incredibly interesting (saying this as an atheist). Thanks for sharing this, I loved reading it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 01:04 PM
8

Furious and hurt? I'd be filing a police report, making an appointment at the abortion clinic and calling a divorce lawyer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 05:57 PM
9

This is so lame, not only is the message garbage but it's obviously staged. They were both in on creating this stupid shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 02:42 PM
23

Maybe I'm some pathological monster, but in my world no one is loved unconditionally. Why would I lOvE someone if they abuse me or violate my boundaries? Unconditional love is an infantile fantasy and an absolutely delusional expectation for any adult to have of another.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 01:52 PM
272

The fear of female sexuality is the essence of patriarchy. Women are held responsible for men's deviancy to varying degrees in virtually all modern cultures, especially those with strong ties to fundamentalist Abrahamic religion. They might dress it up as "modesty" or whatever else they call it, but it's based in the fear of our sexual power, which we wield through nothing more than existing in our bodies. Reminder: Your body is yours and yours alone. Any thoughts or feelings it "inspires" in ot…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 10:03 PM
20

So he likes fit blonds and having fun? Wow can I please go on a date with this rare gem?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 07:17 PM
3

She's in a relationship, which is the ultimate pickme goal. She doesn't need to be too concerned about being nickel-and-dimed by a classless LVM, as long as she hAs a mAN, right??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 07:04 PM
3

THREE YEARS she's been with this jerk. What the actual fuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 06:08 PM
5

This energy, all day. Love it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 06:07 PM
17

HVM really are a rare and beautiful thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 05:31 PM
47

Personalizing rejection is pickme energy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 03:27 PM
18

Thank you for this. I get so annoyed at people who write off FDS as a "cult" - as if learning how to love yourself more and have successful, beneficial relationships requires blind belief or adherence to dogma of any sort. Newsflash, it doesn't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 03:24 PM
17

😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 12:38 PM
16

Technically hypergamy means seeking sex/marriage partners in a higher socioeconomic class. But your point still stands.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 07:21 PM
9

Some men certainly expect women to clean up for them, but in your dad's case (and many other men) it's more like they will accept a woman cleaning up for them, but they aren't moved to do it for themselves because they don't care about cleanliness. That's the difficulty I have always run into when I have cohabitated with a man (which I have 3 times, 2x LTR's and one marriage). I have a much higher cleanliness standard, and if I wanted it maintained, I had to maintain it, because my partners were…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 09:25 PM
8

Thanks for sharing your experience sis. I'm sorry you went through that, but I'm glad you got woke and realized that you deserve to be with a man who gives you what you want and need out of the relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 05:34 PM
90

Your title said it all. You can't fix these men and you never deserve their abuse. Rest in power, sweet Kinnedy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 06:05 PM
22

I get it sis. Most of us have been where you are right now, and we know how hard it is. The thing is, men can sense this about you, and most of them will take advantage of it to get what they want. Keep it in the forefront of your mind that the goal is to be with a high value man who will respect you and provide what you want and need out of relationship. And yes, that is rare. The vast majority of them are not going to pan out. Getting your hopes up every time means that you will be disappointe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 05:32 PM
192

"I saw this cute girl and told her that she looked like a cute hamster. She smiled and said it's ok. I was confused after that for a while like did she not get my compliment." No, dude, she clearly thought you were mentally disabled and was trying to be nice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 05:12 PM
57

Becoming stronger than crushes means mentally and emotionally devaluing male desire/attention. The vetting process is crucial to getting the maximum benefit from FDS. Your mistake here was assuming that this guy initiating physical intimacy meant that he understood and intended to respect your position, instead of what it actually meant, which is that he was horny and wanted some sexual activity. Now that you have experienced it for what it was, you can go into your next potential relationship w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 04:53 PM
7

😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 02:55 PM
3

Wow I actually feel like vomiting. Holy shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 02:46 PM
11

I'm pretty shocked that he wasn't emotionally prepared for the possibility of a negative reaction, honestly. He should give up if one negative reaction - and it's not like she pepper sprayed him, for fuck's sake, she just ran off - devastates him to this degree. Men are such delicate creatures.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 02:17 PM
66

This is sad and shitty but also an important lesson, IMO. They don't care about all the shit we do for them if they're not committed. This is why we take adequate time to vet. It's not to punish THEM, it's to protect US.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 02:13 PM
36

Leave it to a man to blame a whole city for his fuckery 😂 Glad you're done with him and moving on sis! Onward and upward!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 01:55 AM
9

Thanks for the update! Disappointing but not surprising!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 07:03 PM
10

How much clearer can he make it? He doesn't want to marry you. Either settle for what you have, or move on. I don't understand what the board is supposed to achieve.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 06:50 PM
18

LOL, as if men care that we make all that effort and think of it as more than casual. If anything, they feel 100% entitled to our efforts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 04:14 PM
33

Closure is something that has to come from within. You will never get it from another person, especially one who mistreated you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 04:08 PM
1

Michael Bay's movies are basically just big-budget versions of the fantasies 12 year old boys have when they're bored in math class. The whole Hollywood sceneis so fucking toxic - it's created and designed around rewarding male mediocrity and keeping themselves in a fresh supply of young women (and children) to use and abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 01:19 AM
10

Your sister's behavior is abusive. Ask her straight up to stop and if she doesn't, you need to take steps to move out and limit contact with her. And look into getting some therapy to get a better handle on healthy ways to cope with her shit in the meantime. Best of luck sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 01:04 AM
8

You're very welcome sis! I hope things continue to go well with the new prospect. We love a success story!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 12:46 AM
31

Your ex had his chance with you and he chose to shit on you. As far as it being "slutty" or making you "look bad," I wouldn't worry about that. It's worrying about irrelevant people's (especially men's) opinions that's the pickme move. It's not like you're seeking out someone in your ex's circle as some power move or revenge tactic against your ex. It sounds more to me like you have started the vetting process on someone who shows potential to add value to your life, and the fact that he knows y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 12:38 AM
14

Why would it be a pickme move?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 12:20 AM
3

No one in this sub is going to tell you what you clearly want to hear, which is that it's good for you to stay in a relationship with this LVM because maybe he will be the first LVM in history to spontaneously start meeting your standards. Don't post in here looking for validation on something you know to be wrong. It's against the rules of the sub, and it's not good for you as a woman. Period.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 08:56 PM
3

Emotional investment is just an excuse in this scenario. You have invested your emotions, time and energy into someone who doesn't meet your standards. Your investment is a bust and is never going to pan out. Are you OK with looking back another 4 years from now and saying this same shit? If not, you need to break it off as soon as possible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 08:00 PM
2

2 possibilities here, as I see it. First possibility, he was testing you to see if you would still be into going out after he ignored you and then practically stood you up. (People do this to identify who is desperate enough to tolerate disrespect and who isn't.) Second possibility, he was trying to manipulate you into thinking that he's so incredibly desirable that you would be lucky for him to decide to show up. Either way, you were correct to reject his offer of meeting up later.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 05:31 PM
2

You weren't too harsh. He was trying to run game and he failed. If he wants to play like that, then he should be prepared to get nexted and dropped. Your friends need to get woke, otherwise they're going to be getting played by men who do this same shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 05:09 PM
28

Well... the Sheldon Cooper comparison definitely checks out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 05:04 PM
63

Strategic incompetence. Red flag - men who do this care very little about how you view them, and they value their laziness more than their reputation. They have no shame about looking completely useless if it gets them out of doing even the smallest chore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 04:43 PM
6

He probably would have cried if you pointed out how fat and ugly he was.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 03:54 PM
14

I decided after my divorce that going forward, use of the word "nag" or "nagging" is an automatic dumping offense. Get your shit together or get out of my sight.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 11:29 PM
8

Bad temper is just lack of self-control dressed up in a "macho" package. It's extremely unattractive and a big bright neon sign proclaiming LOW VALUE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 11:26 PM
7

I just cringed myself inside out from secondhand embarrassment over how messy and pathetic all of this is. This woman is trash and her taste in men is trash too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 11:21 PM
20

35, yeah right. This guy graduated college the same year as me and I'm 41. Even aside from the obvious lie about his age, what self-loathing woman would find this attractive? I'd rather spend the night in county jail than go on a date with this guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 09:56 PM
12

Read the handbook and get your mind right, sis. Posting screenshots from this sub is going to trigger the fuck out of a lot of people. If conflict causes you undue anxiety then I suggest you don't go looking for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 04:21 AM
13

My rule is believe actions, not words. A man will say anything if he thinks it's going to get him laid. You can't trust his words (at least not in the beginning). You have to be a keen observer of his behavior and judge him only on that. Does he follow through with what he promises? Does he show up or does he make excuses? Is he consistent or hot and cold? Remember, a HVM will not leave you confused or second guessing your own reactions. Justifying his disrespect towards you just so you can cont…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 04:02 AM
3

Your time and energy are too precious to be spending on telling this dude off. Block and delete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 03:49 AM
1

God I love being single
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 03:45 AM
8

Don't be too hard on yourself. Experience is a good teacher. Just take the lesson and be that much smarter for next time. You got this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 03:35 AM
9

Mixed signals is a no. If he were interested/serious he would have asked for a second date. Next time if he starts fading on you, just move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 03:34 AM
28

"I didn't mean to come off unprofessional" oh really because this is the definition of unprofessional, not to mention an egregious abuse of the power vested in you as an officer of the law. Why do so many cops feel so entitled to leverage their power to achieve personal ends? And they wonder why people view them with such fear and loathing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 03:07 AM
16

I'm pretty sure this is the dictionary entry for "low effort."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 02:08 AM
7

First and foremost, continue with therapy. Your therapist should be able to connect you with resources such as women's shelters or group homes in your area. Look into Job Corps and other types of vocational training as well. I would advise against getting into a sugar daddy type situation right now - your low self esteem and lack of life experience mean that your judgment is not very keen at the moment, and you could easily end up trapped in another abusive situation. I can't give you any dark t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 01:58 AM
6

You address this by getting the fuck out now before you end up severely brain damaged and/or dead. This man does not respect you. Your pain and fear sexually excite him, and it isn't normal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 01:48 AM
34

Especially famous/high profile men. It ratchets the entitlement up to astronomical levels.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 01:39 AM
59

What I would not give to have been exposed to radfem/FDS ideology when I was in my teens and 20's. I'm 41 now and this shit is a revelation. I always sort of felt this way but there was so little social reinforcement of these ideas - all the messaging I was exposed to in the 80's and 90's told me that I was nothing without men and that male attention and validation were the be-all and end-all of everything I did. I wasted a lot of time and suffered needlessly. I hope many more young women wake u…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 01:18 AM
3

Best of luck sis! You have a great head on your shoulders. Keep using it and you'll be fine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 01:10 AM
11

At your age, you should be focusing on your own personal enrichment - education, career, and building toward a happy, independent future. Break the cycle of the generations of young women before you who were conditioned to prioritize pleasing men. Men will always be there. You can and should prioritize investing in yourself. Your future self and future children (should you choose to have them) will thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 01:06 AM
3

Lol. True.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 10:27 PM
5

This is such an odd thing to me. I don't want anyone fixing my plate, I want to serve myself what I want. A grown man can't fix his own plate and get what he wants? Lunacy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 09:30 PM
53

If a man acts disgusted by farts, he's not the one. We all do it and it's not a big deal. If he can't handle that, how is he going to handle your kids' poopy diapers? If you get sick and need him to help care for you? This stuff matters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 09:20 PM
12

Am single, can confirm. My life is very low-stress. If I want some dick I can hop on Tinder any time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 09:15 PM
12

Yep and a lot of times insurance will refuse claims if you get burglarized with unlocked door/windows. It's considered failure to take reasonable precaution.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 08:46 PM
34

He had the same magical thinking that a lot of gun-humpers seem to have, i.e. that simply being in possession of a gun somehow makes you safe from harm. It's ridiculous. Especially since he's an otherwise intelligent, (mostly) rational person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 06:37 PM
48

Yep. Great example of the extra emotional labor women take on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 02:46 PM
130

My ex used to leave the house and leave the door unlocked while I was still home with our infant son. I asked him repeatedly to please remember to lock the door when he left, and he never understood why I wanted the door locked since "we have a gun." As if it were a better option for me to have to shoot someone than to just lock the fucking door. It's really obvious that men seldom consider the possibility of being raped, brutalized or murdered in their own home. (Even though women are much more…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 02:23 PM
20

Stories auto-play, at least for me. When I click on one, they keep playing until I back out to the feed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 08:29 PM
8

Fucking vaulted right over your clear, reasonable boundary. Nice. I'm sorry you had to deal with that and I hope you blocked him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 01:25 PM
33

Jack got roasted and it sounds like he brought it on himself by bringing it up. If you want to have a public conversation/boasting session about all the girls you've fucked and then start calling them out in person, you have to be prepared to be met with equivalent candor. Especially if you're going to be so crass as to bring it up in front of a former hookup's spouse. Live and learn, Jack. (LOL, as if he's going to learn anything from this.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 01:23 PM
25

I don't think this person is necessarily saying that these men spontaneously become self-aware and regretful - I think they're saying that these men don't understand why they feel depressed and shitty when they live their whole emotional lives in a shitty way. Which is pretty true. It's similar to the way many men only value women for their youth and appearance, and then lament that they end up with a "crazy bitch" who cheats, lies, is a narcissist, or whatever. Choices have consequences.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 01:11 PM
13

Being appreciated for your value as a person and being desired because of your body aren't the same thing, so don't confuse a man wanting to fuck your body with him giving a shit about you as a person. Placing a high value on male attention/validation is what creates pickmes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 11:46 AM
14

Even giving him the benefit of the doubt that he really does just want to meet to see if there's a vibe or whatever and isn't just after no-effort sex, this is still weak sauce. If you're interested, ask for and plan a date. Period. This isn't fucking high school.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 05:44 PM
2

Hey, you're welcome. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to be honest about my experience and feelings. There are other woman-only spaces where I might get some hate for saying these things. And of course there will be men who think they can change your mind about all kinds of things. That's why we need FDS, to help us spot red flags.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 12:19 PM
30

Love isn't something you feel. It's something you do. Actions will always speak louder than words. Never accept someone who says he loves you but treats you like garbage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 04:54 AM
3

I agree with the other commenters recommending therapy. You would benefit tremendously from qualified professional help with these issues. Best of luck sis 💗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 04:50 AM
8

I have one child and I'm 41. I do not want more kids (I'm divorced and not in any rush to get involved with another man.) I love my son, but I had him with the wrong person - he's a good dad, but it's not beneficial to me that he will always be in my life since we have a child together. The hard truth that most are loath to admit is that having kids involves a ton of emotional pain and drudgery. It offers a lot of joy as well, but at a high price to you as their mother, especially if dad is LV. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 04:39 AM
5

Gaze any harder at that navel and he might fall in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 04:06 PM
18

My ex had some weird hangups about certain things looking unmasculine. (He did wear sunscreen and carry an umbrella though, lol.) I sometimes would bring up the fact that it's weird that carrying a bag is a gendered thing in our culture. His response was that men don't need to carry a bag because they're "more self-sufficient." Haha OK? Anyway I made sure to remind him of that every time he asked me to carry something of his in my handbag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 05:19 PM
7

LMAO
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 05:14 PM
11

Uh oh, looks like another dude who needs some bubble wrap for his balls. These pathetic specimens actually think anyone is paying them enough attention to even notice that they have an umbrella. The insecurity is so thick you could cut it with a knife.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 04:59 PM
53

Negging is a low-effort PUA/pump and dump technique. It helps them identify easy prey. This guy and his dad were on some other shit. Even PUA's wouldn't try to use negging as a long term strategy. I'm guessing OP's ex won't be making that mistake again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 06:01 AM
8

The thought of being 23 saddled with 3 kids and a deadweight manbaby energy vampire legitimately makes me want to die. She'd be far better off alone raising the kids by herself. She should ditch the trash friends too while she's at it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 11:38 PM
5

My jaw hit the floor at the last sentence. Does this scrote have a gun to your head or something? Are you locked in his place, with bars on the windows? If not, then I don't see how any reasonable person would think they HAVE TO ACCEPT THIS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 11:34 PM
6

Sounds like he has a low EQ. It's not a reflection on you. I do understand why it bugs you though, especially in light of you uprooting your life and moving for his benefit. But then, he was never appreciative of the efforts you made for him, was he? Just remember your time and energy are way too valuable to overspend on your ex and his wife.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 01:11 AM
7

Sorry he's still a tool to you. My ex tried the whole "be an asshole to show I'm still in charge" macho bullcrap for a short while after we split, but gave it up when he realized I was never going to give him the ego-boosting dopamine hit of an emotional reaction. He has a girlfriend who is actually very cool and is great with our son, so in the end it all seems to have worked out for the best. I really feel you on having a hard time treating others the way they treat you. It does not come natur…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 12:40 AM
3

Good riddance. Glad he's out of your life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 11:04 PM
8

Oooh, that's some real nice gaslighting. I bet he thought he was slick too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 10:51 PM
23

I had a very similar experience with my ex as well. He suffers from inattentive ADHD (our son does too) but didn't want to put in the work of getting treatment, and preferred to just let me suffer all the negative consequences. The resentment destroyed us. We're divorced now - and ironically, since we no longer live together or have to jointly decide how to spend money, our relationship is much more positive and pleasant. I learned a semi truck full of life lessons and am now FDS for life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 10:46 PM
3

Red flag #1 was him asking you to come over to help him find the remote, in a STUDIO apartment no less. Shameless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 10:37 PM
7

Posts like this make my skin crawl and my eyes roll. These RA people always write a freaking wall of text looking for a magic bullet that will magically transform a toad into a prince. Girl, DUMP HIM. That is the one and only way to fix this problem. Yank it out by the roots.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 08:30 PM
17

Reminder, someone's mental health problems are their own responsibility and are never, ever a license to violate your boundaries. We can have empathy for people who struggle with mental health issues without internalizing their problems and making them ours.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 05:19 PM
314

"I don't like storing girly stuff at my place" damn if his masculinity were any more fragile he would need bubble wrap for his balls. Good lord.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 03:49 PM
9

Sis, I've been there and I know the anxiety you speak of. Your level of care about the feelings/opinions of others is directly proportional to your level of anxiety, due to the fact that you can't control what they think of you. You can exert a small influence with your actions, but ultimately, it's not up to you. So yeah. Stop caring what they think and worrying that they're going to hate you, leave you, etc. Easier said than done, obviously, and you're probably going to tank a few relationship…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 09:30 PM
17

Yep. He does this because he knows it makes her feel victimized and powerless. That's what gets him off. I'd be willing to bet based on the age gap alone that that's the dynamic of their entire relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 05:23 PM
11

"but I love him" ope, there it is IT LITERALLY NEVER FAILS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 05:21 PM
8

This was the biggest moment of clarity for me on my FDS path - realizing that I gain nothing from always being the one to lie down and take whatever anyone else dished out. There is no reward, karmic or otherwise, for being that person who always takes on others' discomfort. Let them sit in it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 04:23 PM
17

I'm sorry he did that to you. You did not deserve to be treated in such a cruel way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 04:18 PM
12

YES. Yes, yes, yes. Closure comes from within. You will never get it from another person, especially one who treated you poorly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 04:16 PM
26

My girlfriend (24F) and I (35M) I didn't even need to read beyond that to know exactly how this was going to go down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 04:12 PM
14

I'd be the idiot to call this shithead's bluff and tell him to try it and see what happens. Don't threaten me with a good time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 04:10 PM
5

She never said that the vast majority of people are empaths, she said the vast majority of people have empathy. This is true. Most people are able to empathize to one degree or another. An empath is defined as a person with a PARANORMAL ability to embody another person's emotional state. It's a pseudoscientific concept, not a real thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 03:50 PM
28

When it comes to your time and energy, have a ruthlessly mercenary mindset. I give the grace I receive, no more and no less. This has been revolutionary for my happiness and peace of mind, and my relationships (at least my valuable ones) have not suffered at all - in fact, they have improved. Personal AND professional.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 02:37 PM
12

People only give you the respect you give yourself. As long as she continues to make excuses for her boyfriend, he's going to stay in his little safe space and keep valuing his friends' view of his masculinity over doing what's right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 05:51 PM
12

This is so fucking true. If you have to ask permission to ask the question, you know full well it's over the line.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 08:43 PM
16

WTF! Newsflash douchebags, women are not on Poshmark to hook up. We have Tinder for that. Pathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 08:42 PM
9

I'm screaming
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 08:32 PM
39

FDS is the anti-TRP. We support self-love and self-respect. They support deceiving and exploiting others.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 06:31 PM
14

Few things are more satisfying than keeping control of a situation through nothing more than staying on an even emotional keel. LVM want us to lose control and act out because it makes them feel powerful when they would otherwise feel weak and insecure. A HVM is secure enough in himself that he doesn't feel the need to get cheap, easy power by pushing your buttons. He prefers that your interactions stay calm, respectful, and rational.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 04:24 PM
24

Even an otherwise sane, reasonable man will not hesitate to gaslight you if it makes it easier for him to get his way. A man does not have to be a narcissist or sociopath to be OK with intentionally screwing with your emotions to keep the upper hand. For the vast majority of them, emotional manipulation and taking advantage of your female socialization are like breathing. Stay woke.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 03:22 PM
6

Yep. That's why I stopped worrying about what other people think about how I handle my business. All I care about is that my child and I are safe and thriving. If someone tells me I have trust issues, I just smile and say OK, and make a mental note to DEFINITELY NOT TRUST THAT PERSON.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 02:14 PM
12

Having a self-preservation mindset does not mean you have "issues." It's perfectly reasonable to approach other people with the knowledge that they don't necessarily have your best interests at heart. It doesn't mean you assume everyone is trying to screw you over. It just means that you're mindful of the fact that it's your own job to look out for yourself, and that no one else is going to do it for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 12:57 PM
12

Yeah the whole concept has been more or less debunked for all the reasons you stated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 07:38 PM
3

Be safe, sis. Listen to your gut. Your ex would love for you to believe that you're "overreacting" to his extremely inappropriate, dangerous behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 05:44 PM
23

If evolutionary biology is a guy's argument for everything, I immediately file under NO. Just because you use a 10-syllable scientific sounding term doesn't mean you have any relevant knowledge or insight on sex and gender.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 05:42 PM
16

Block him. Be extremely careful online, at home, and out in public. Document everything you can, and don't hesitate to file a police report if he does anything that makes you feel unsafe. (Even if the police can't/won't actually do something, filing a report creates a documentation history.) Consider a protective order. Stalking is a crime in all 50 states.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 05:32 PM
18

bingo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 10:52 PM
3

😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 10:07 PM
5

Piss anywhere outside the toilet is a dealbreaker, period. (One and only exception is if we're camping and even then, everyone is required to go far away from the tent to a properly designated spot.) I feel like I'm taking crazy pills reading about the shit some of these women tolerate. Cockholm syndrome for real.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 10:06 PM
19

LOL, I've been temp banned from AITA several times for similar bluntness. That sub is such a shit show now. It's just a bunch of insecure babies fishing for validation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 09:46 PM
77

So he blames his wife for his own affair, and isn't sorry at all for hurting her, but is only sorry that he's facing real consequences. Sounds about right. The part about him "realizing" his "mistake" after living with his affair partner for 2 weeks was particularly telling. This should be the wikipedia entry for Negative Value Male.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 09:38 PM
7

when I got a restraining order kept applying to court to have it removed because "I was destroying his relationship with his wife". You should have seen the look on the judges face O M F G If I were that judge I would have had his clown ass in cuffs for contempt. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 09:24 PM
7

He could have been bisexual or just a guy with more feminine traits. These men do exist and they are often just as aggressive and entitled as hetero/super-masculine men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 09:21 PM
23

Men do it to us without guilt or even a second thought. The only reason ghosting is even a widespread thing now is because of men's OLD practices, so they really have no one but themselves to blame. I was an early adopter of this - was dating a guy about 20 years ago before OLD even existed, decided I wasn't feeling it anymore (after a night he drunkenly pissed in my closet after mistaking it for my bathroom - NOT the only issue I had with him, just the final straw) and just stopped returning hi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 09:09 PM
4

I recommend that you talk with a therapist about your lasting trauma from the abuse you suffered. The way you reacted to your boyfriend's remarks is classic PTSD. The fact is, when you're 70, your breasts are most likely not going to be "perky" anymore no matter what you do now. That's just how biological aging works. But that's not important. What's important is that you need to be able to think about normal, inevitable things like aging and your body changing without being plunged into a spira…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 07:09 PM
20

So many of us grow up being indoctrinated with the idea that nothing else matters as long as you have a man. This is an absolutely toxic mindset and it's responsible for so much of the abuse, dysfunction, misery and suffering that women experience at the hands of men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 11:53 PM
15

Agreed. I've found that the best way to give advice is to live the example. No one wants to hear you if they think you're preaching at them. But if people see you living your best life, they will observe your behavior and be more likely to emulate your actions themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 09:23 PM
28

My stepmom (whom I am close with) has an older brother who is about 70. He has always been a player and ALWAYS went after younger women - he's good looking, athletic, has money, etc. And when I say younger I mean significantly younger, as in he married a 29 year old when he was almost 50. (They're now divorced.) Well she was telling me recently that he had decided he was going to "lower his standards" and date "more age appropriate" women. He went out a few times with a nice woman in her mid 50'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 07:23 PM
12

It would be entitled to insist that all men meet our individual standards. It's not entitled in the least to say "I want it the way I want it, or I don't want it at all." I would never feel entitled to a relationship. I'd rather be alone, 100% of the time, than accept a relationship with someone who doesn't meet my standards. And while we're on the subject of standards - I've observed something interesting when it comes to men and standards. The majority of the time, when a man refers to his "st…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 06:07 PM
2

If your man has the personal grooming habits of a chimpanzee and it makes you want to vomit, he's probably not the one for you sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 06:20 PM
45

Should have gone your own way, jackass. As far as I'm concerned these MGTOW assholes should practice what they preach and stay far away from all women for the rest of their lives. Don't go anywhere or do anything that might result in you seeing, meeting or talking to a woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 06:15 PM
17

Right? How fucking dare you. Audacity doesn't even cover it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 06:06 PM
27

I think a lot of the pressure comes from western beauty standards that are enforced by the media and advertising. (Making you feel like you're not good enough the way that you are is basically the main function of advertising, especially print ads aimed at women.) Porn does appear to have a big influence as well. Full Brazilian waxes, anal bleaching, etc were unheard of in the US until internet porn became ubiquitous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 01:46 AM
134

Just this past weekend, I started getting hit up over text by a guy I dated briefly years ago (before I even dated my now ex husband). I guess he had heard I got divorced. He was flirting pretty hard for several days and then when we got right down to talking about getting together - which HE brought up - he comes out with "I have a girlfriend." I had a whole paragraph typed out and then I remembered my FDS ideals, deleted that shit and left him on read. Too bad I don't know who his girlfriend i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 08:30 PM
19

The parents are clearly only interested in shielding themselves from investigation by the authorities. They straight up told him not to talk to the therapist about what he did. I wish someone would dox this guy just so the authorities could be alerted and the daughter could be removed from their home. The boy is going to do this shit again, guaranteed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 04:03 PM
29

His sex material is dark, especially in light of his admitted exhibitionism kink. He's not the most dangerous type of predator out there, but he's still a major creep.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 11:40 PM
3

These Quora posts are almost all trolls just looking to get the highest number of reactionary answers possible. That said, I see nothing wrong with a woman leveling up and wanting better than a scrub, although I'm not sure she should be looking to a man's car and house to signal his value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 06:51 PM
53

Word. The "no one taught me" excuse is not acceptable from an adult. You and you alone are responsible for your own behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 03:30 PM
8

The white supremacist mindset is the cherry on top of this turd cupcake. Imagine thinking that your race makes your value innately higher and that women should be flattered by your white attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 02:05 PM
3

My time is far more valuable than romantic love.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 11:58 PM
31

Proceed with extreme caution sis. An HV partner should not be stressing you out like this before you even live together.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 11:20 PM
45

Musk is the biggest asshole on Twitter, which is not an easy feat. He's got some stiff competition but he somehow always manages to come out on top of the asshole pile.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 02:26 PM
98

Sounds like she's his side piece and he doesn't want his actual girlfriend to find out about her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 09:56 PM
59

"Get a shot of that." Oh, for sure. A SCREENshot, which I will then use to put your shameless predatory ass on blast to the media.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 11:58 PM
25

I have never watched this show, but I keep seeing all the memes and posts about it and I still can't seem to wrap my head around how we're supposed to buy this greasy thumb-shaped manlet and this pretty young woman as a couple. What even is this show? I mean, at least she dumped him. That part I get.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 10:23 PM
116

If the effort you're putting into your health and appearance is for a man's benefit, you've already lost. Take care of your body and look good for yourself, queen. Treat yourself like the high value woman that you are. If he likes how you look, bonus! If not, who cares? You're not doing all that for him to praise or criticize. It's your body, your face, your hair, and your life. Take care of yourself because you're worth it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 10:13 PM
18

Draw some boundaries with this guy and enforce them. Say no when he asks you to hang out, cook for him, whatever. Let him know he needs to leave you alone during class so you can focus. If he doesn't stop messaging you, block him. Make it clear that you're not interested in any kind of relationship with him beyond casual friendship, and that he's not entitled to your time or attention. Don't worry about offending him. If he legitimately makes you feel unsafe or like he intends to harm you when y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 01:08 AM
5

The son is right, he's 18 and he can do whatever he wants... in his own home where he pays the bills, that is. If he wants to stay with mom and dad he has to follow their rules. Responsible parenting sometimes makes you TA in your kids' eyes. Boo hoo, that's life. If the son wants to have his gross friends over, he can move out and have them over to his own place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 08:51 PM
6

That has to be a troll post. Disgusting. I can't imagine raising my son to be shielded from any and all unpleasant consequences of his own choices. I don't even do that shit NOW, and my son is in elementary school. I relish the opportunity to enforce proportionate consequences on him for bad behavior. The older they get, the more difficult and painful the "actions have consequences" lesson becomes. It's better he learns now that I can't save him from himself, and wouldn't even if I could.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 07:17 PM
30

I have a son and I feel like I'm almost too harsh on him sometimes because of all the bullshit I see other moms letting their sons get away with. To whatever extent I can prevent it, I do not want him growing up with an attitude of entitlement or other LV characteristics. Whenever he has a "teachable moment" - which is frequently - I emphasize thinking about how his actions affect others, and how he would feel if someone else were to do the thing he did or say the thing he said. He's naturally p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 07:08 PM
69

You have to get to the place mentally where being treated poorly is a worse outcome than being alone. You'll get there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 05:54 PM
20

The whole concept of "love languages" is like gaslighting, to a certain extent. It's just another bit of cultural woo-woo to sell books. There's no need to dress it up as a separate language, that just muddies the water. Just tell your partner what you want and need from them. If your wants and needs don't align with what they're willing to give, they're not the one for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 09:19 PM
38

Having to say "NO" multiple times to a grown man = huge bright red flag. No means no. If asserting your boundaries makes others think you're rude, so be it. Protect yourself. No one else is going to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 07:36 PM
15

Good catch. That stuck out to me too. I'm 41 and would absolutely never accept the "different generation" excuse from a man in my age cohort. Horseshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 12:54 AM
58

If he got that defensive about it, he's clearly guilty as shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 12:49 AM
60

LMAO, I love leaving "dump him" comments in other subs. I always get downvoted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 12:43 AM
27

They do this kind of "triangulating" (attempting to pit women against each other) to seek out weak-minded women with low self-esteem. If you respond positively to this tactic, they have identified you as someone who is easily manipulated. It's a bottom tier PUA tactic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 09:20 PM
11

Agreed 100%
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 05:24 PM
55

This is Eliot Rodger red flag type shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 04:16 PM
55

I was in high school in the mid 90's, and it was very common and not considered weird at all for 14/15 year old freshman girls to date 18 year old senior boys. Adults would justify it by saying that girls "mature faster" than boys. Like that made it OK for a legal adult to be sexually preying on a 14 year old minor who was definitely not "mature" enough to know how to spot and defend against coercion and emotional manipulation. 2-4 years is a very significant age difference when it amounts to 15…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 04:06 PM
9

This, SO MUCH. Men who hold nudes over a woman's head do so because they think women are too stupid/naive to call their bluff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 02:43 PM
11

Agreed. I've always been old-fashioned about the concept of nudes, and been called a prude for it. I don't give a fuck if it does make me a prude. I would never consider sending anyone a photo of any part of my nude body. For me it's really more about power. I would never give anyone that power over me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 02:36 PM
7

LOL. God, Twitter is such a flaming dumpster.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 05:26 PM
11

You are absolutely worth way more than this. If you become tempted to unblock, think of it this way - are you ready for years of this stress, uncertainty and emotional turmoil? Because that's all letting him back into your life is going to get you. Be strong. You got this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 01:32 PM
21

Is his profile pic a mugshot?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 01:27 PM
20

Remember ladies, you do not owe anyone a text response. Especially this kind of low value, low effort wyd mess.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 01:22 PM
2

Reminder that posts that reach the top of the front page of the sub are the ones that get upvoted and commented on the most. Be the change you want to see. Post the content you want to see, and use your vote/comment power to drive traffic. If you see a post you feel violates the rules, report it. The mods here are on point and they will deal with it swiftly. Love and power to all my sisters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 01:18 PM
19

I definitely failed at this when I was younger. Negative experience is, unfortunately, the best teacher. I smartened up after I got bit a few times and now I approach every interaction with people I don't know from a self-preservation mindset. No one else is going to look out for you or put your interests first. You and you alone are responsible for you. Giving a man who hasn't thoroughly earned it access to your life is always a mistake.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 12:51 PM
18

My mother taught me to never trust a man who hates cats. Her wisdom on that has never failed me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 12:44 PM
94

Yup. New girlfriend is going to have a rude awakening now that he doesn't have wife at home doing all the wife shit. How much is she going to "care for him" when he shows up at her place with a bag full of stinky gym laundry and asks what she's cooking him for dinner?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 01:54 PM
18

She answered her own question - yes, these men absolutely have no shame. The whole ideology of being an incel is that men are entitled to their fantasy woman despite themselves being gross and having absolutely no value or redeeming qualities. She is spinning her wheels raging about this shithead when she should have just blocked his ass and never thought about him again. Nah, sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 12:58 PM
136

He has probably been waiting for the opportunity to do this for a while, honestly. LVM can't stand to see us get joy or pleasure out of anything that doesn't directly involve or benefit them. She needs to get out asap. It's just going to escalate. My ex was like this. He would do or say anything to "win" a fight (i.e. leave me powerless and emotionally destroyed), but he was always careful to never cross that line and do things that I could press charges for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 12:47 PM
2

These dudes are just mass-messaging. Digital "spreading of seed," so to speak. They're not messaging you because they found your profile and like you. They're doing what men do, which is trying to fuck with as little effort as possible. Shit, I've known multiple men who busted themselves by sending a mass "Hey beautiful" text to every woman in their phone, without realizing all of the recipients were visible to each other. Morons.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 05:46 PM
22

Racism and misogyny, the LVM combo of choice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 05:43 PM
33

Wait til he finds out there are millions and millions of us who have successfully done both. Like I know bad-faith debate tactics are his shtick, but I have to wonder if it's really shtick or if he legitimately has a logic deficiency.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 01:53 PM
3

He's taking a stand, lol, so brave. At least he admits how pathetic he is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 06:05 PM
2

I just died laughing at this. What an idiot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 04:19 PM
10

This is straight up negative attention getting. Poopy-pants toddler style tactics, with a side of predatory disregard for consent. There's no hope for this asshole if he's doing this as an adult. At least a puppy can be trained not to do this shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 06:28 PM
13

I've seen it commented on this sub that your attractiveness level doesn't determine the quality of attention you get, just the quantity, and I definitely think that applies here. Men are going to hit on women that they find attractive, it's just what they do. That's why it's on us to be as discriminating as possible. It follows from FDS ideology that we shouldn't take any man's desire as valuable or as a reflection of our own value. Don't be insulted. Just pass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 05:44 PM
52

Men being "intimidated" by women is a problem just like men believing themselves to be superior to us. HVM view women's humanity as having equal value and esteem to their own. I've been told by a few men that I was "intimidating," and it immediately creates awkwardness and kills any sort of vibe. Honestly it kind of makes me want to vomit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 05:40 PM
19

LVM and pickme's would have us continue to buy in to our traditional conditioning - that we are nothing without a man, and that a man's desire is inherently valuable. Good thing we know better. Stay woke, queens.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 03:30 PM
11

Yeah, I'm thinking there's a pathological issue here. No good can come of this for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 03:24 PM
75

Lol, of course the manchildren of Reddit were out in force to defend the honor and righteousness of their fellow neckbeard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 03:23 PM
15

Yes, exactly. Being short doesn't make you unattractive (not to me, at least). But that level of insecurity does.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 11:25 PM
49

I honestly don't understand why they're so sensitive and weird about it. For one thing, it doesn't matter. Yes, there are women out there who have minimum height requirements or whatever, but it's far from all of us. Are they really that delicate that they need to convince themselves they're attractive to every woman on earth? Also, WE CAN SEE YOU. We know how to determine height accurately. It doesn't make us think you're more attractive if you're off by several inches on your own height. It ju…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 10:40 PM
27

UGH! It's just such a pathetic thing to lie about and be so hung up on. And we women are supposedly the vain ones. Eyeroll.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 10:30 PM
17

SO DISTURBING! I just do not get it. What is their endgame? Like do you really not think I'm going to find out you were lying? They're like 3 year olds who deny scribbling on the wall with crayon.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 10:22 PM
79

When I was 27, I dated a guy who lied to me about his age. He shaved 2 years off - told me he was 32 and was actually 34. He put a staple through his ID right over his birth year because I guess he thought I wouldn't be able to read it? When I called him out he claimed it was a misprint. Once we were in a store and he was applying for some rewards program or something, and he said his real birth date, and I was like ??????? He finally admitted to it then. Told me he thought it would "scare me of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 08:55 PM
3

True. Also men who were raised by LV parents who set a poor example.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 08:08 PM
36

I keep seeing a meme floating around of a guy bitching on some social media platform about women who won't give a short, broke, ugly guy like him a chance, and then someone replies to ask him how many broke, ugly women he's asked out and he literally replied "Why would I do that?" It's like a joke, except it's not. These men - they're usually incels but not always - feel completely entitled to their "fantasy woman." As other commenters on this post have said, it's largely due to messaging from m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 05:36 PM
114

In my experience, many men learn to get through life doing the bare minimum to get what they want, and are so LV/low self-esteem that they have no desire to do better than that. It doesn't even occur to them to want more out of life, or to have the shame to care about how scrubby they come off to others by being that way. If they can phone it in at some shit job and have a roof over their heads, a TV/game console, garbage food and alcohol to eat/drink, and a warm hole to stick their dick in, the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 05:20 PM
45

What the fuck is wrong with this child's parents? I have a son (age 7) and if he ever behaved like this with anyone, there would be very serious consequences. His dad and I both talk with him regularly about the importance of respecting others' boundaries and personal space, and treating others the way he would want to be treated. I fear that age 14 is far too late to start trying to enforce this kind of basic life shit. Now this demon child is basically doomed to be a deviant his entire life. O…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 05:08 PM
13

Oof, red flags everywhere
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 12:58 PM
18

This is game-changing advice, honestly. After my divorce a couple of years ago I took a hard look at myself and thought A LOT about what my own patterns and self-destructive tendencies were. And now, since discovering FDS, I've taken that self-reflection to an even deeper level. No more ignoring red flags because I want something to work out. No more subverting my own needs in service of someone else's whims. No more hoping and wishing that someone will see things my way and change out of the ki…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 12:35 PM
10

Seems like she did it just to piss him off, which I support, because fuck you and your "forbidding" me to do something. But also this just seems like a shit relationship in general.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 11:58 PM
6

Ugh, her description of him is viscerally gross. I'm getting a very clear picture in my head of this dusty and it's BAD. On top of being legally bound to this walrus, she's so emotionally beat down she's actually asking permission to feel her feelings. This was tough to read. Hopefully she wakes up and realizes that he doesn't give a shit how she feels and will never change, and dumps his moldy old ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 11:53 PM
15

Sis, the last thing I want is for pointless YouTube drama to derail the community that we have going here. Not worth it. We can agree to disagree about Shallon Lester, it's really not that serious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 11:37 PM
9

Yeah, I don't buy into any of the cancel Shallon crap. That's just typical YouTube toxicity. But her Selena thing rubs me the wrong way for sure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 10:21 PM
16

You're not wrong about any of the medical stuff you said. But it would be prudent to be more critical of Shallon's claims about Selena - how much of what Shallon is saying is factual, vs exaggeration/hearsay? She hasn't just criticized Selena for drinking after a kidney transplant. If that were all it was, I wouldn't care, because as you said, that's deserving of major criticism. What Shallon says about Selena goes pretty far beyond that into straight up hateful territory. She calls her names an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 07:39 PM
38

I agree that she doesn't deserve to be dragged, but I don't think Selena Gomez deserves to be dragged either, and Shallon Lester makes a lot of money off of doing just that. I'm not saying Shallon is obligated to be pro-woman, but I also think it's problematic to be expected to support her because we're pro-woman here, if she's profiting off of the portion of her content that I (and others) consider anti-woman. Don't get me wrong, I agree with her being FDS-approved because her advice is quality…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 07:30 PM
61

This is an entirely fair request. I personally don't care for Shallon's content, but in her defense, she does give spot-on, FDS aligned dating and romance advice. I do wonder how mods and others feel about her shitting on Selena Gomez. If this is an out of line thing for me to bring up, then by all means, feel free to downvote or delete this. But anyone who has watched even a handful of her videos will know that, while Shallon is certainly entitled to her opinion, her Selena content is not in a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 07:11 PM
9

These women are brainwashed, in a way. Those of us who understand and subscribe to FDS ideology are looking at these situations from a completely different perspective - to me, this is a no brainer. Yes, he's abusive, and he's moved out, so what's there even to wonder about or discuss? But she is absolutely convinced that losing this shitbag would somehow be worse than continuing to be victimized by him. I'm with you, I can't read this shit anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 05:49 PM
5

My personal opinion about Shallon is that she does give some good advice, but she's problematic in many ways. I find her obsessions with celebrities 10-15 years younger than her weird and creepy. Generally speaking, I think people using celebrities' names and private lives for online clout is a dumb, shitty thing to do. But Shallon was also a tabloid journalist for many years, so she's just doing what she does best.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 05:35 PM
6

He's already moved out! Change the locks and block his number! Honestly, is it that hard? Yeah, yeah, bUt I lOvE hIM. Right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 05:06 PM
42

Yes to all of this. Honestly, if he's keeping score like this then their relationship is already dead in the water.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 10:25 PM
10

You're right. I'm just reaching to find an explanation for the disconnect between "I really love her" and "$24 a night to stay with me is a gReAt dEAl". I just can't make it make sense except to think that he has some sort of developmental issue.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 10:21 PM
18

Being single would be a major upgrade over this. My heart bleeds for anyone with 5 kids, much less when their spouse does nothing but create more work for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 10:19 PM
6

Please tell me this guy has ASD because that's the only way this makes sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 10:14 PM
6

The sheer audacity of thinking that he has any place in her decision making process on this. I mean, it's one thing for him to be privately disappointed, or whatever - but he's actually acting like this is even partly his choice! THEY'RE NOT EVEN MARRIED! WHAT THE FUCK! Girl... I don't even know what to say. At least she didn't add the dreaded "bUt I lOvE hIm."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 05:39 PM
3

He 100% does have ADHD. His mother does as well, and our son has been formally diagnosed and is on medical treatment to help him with school. My ex is not a bad guy at all - not HVM material but definitely not the worst. He's a great dad. We're friends now and have a good, constructive coparenting relationship. But we're just not a good match for marriage. I saw plenty of red flags before we got married and thought I could just make it work because I wanted it to. Lesson learned.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 05:24 PM
1

In our case it was more that we had completely incompatible habits and housekeeping standards. He's the type of lazy that will sit for hours on a couch with a hard plastic toy underneath him, instead of getting up and moving it out of the way or moving to a different spot. He'll wear dirty clothes repeatedly rather than wash, dry and fold a load of laudry. Adding to the issue, I was a SAHM for part of our marriage, and when I went back to work, he was extremely resistant to redistributing the ho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 05:05 PM
0

Living with a man can be the source of many problems, both in and out of marriage. If my ex-husband and I could have lived separately while we were married, there's a decent chance we'd still be happily married. Now that we're divorced and co-parenting, we get along much better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 04:35 PM
7

Not necessarily. My BFF and her hubby have separate bedrooms and they're not religious. They are able to be intimate when they want to and still each have their own space. I think it's awesome.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 02:21 PM
42

You're not wrong. I just enjoy calling out men's bad-faith arguments and logical fallacies. These assholes listen to one Sargon of Akkad podcast appearance and start thinking they can "destroy us with facts and logic." Yeah, keep dreaming.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 12:23 AM
42

If he truly doesn't love this child, he should do her a favor and let her be adopted by a family who will love and cherish her. He's not fit to care for a child - clearly, since apparently he has already victimized her to the point that family was forced to step in. If he doesn't let her go he'll end up murdering her, or best case scenario, she will live to adulthood but be emotionally damaged beyond hope of repair. What a sack of shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 09:57 PM
257

Men are very much allowed to have opinions on abortion. This "I'm not allowed to have an opinion" bullshit is a complete strawman. No one ever said you weren't allowed to have an opinion. What we're saying is that your opinion has no power over our rights.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 07:20 PM
9

I mean, I think anime is pretty weird, in the sense that I just don't get the appeal. But I'm not going to hate on someone for enjoying it. It's just not my thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 12:44 PM
16

Time management is a huge one. My ex's reasoning on why it was OK for me to do every bit of the "emotional labor" in our relationship was that "you're just naturally more organized and better at that stuff." Dude... it's not witchcraft. I use a planner and a calendar and write shit down. That's literally all it takes. If a man won't put any effort into organizing his time and pre-planning things, it's not because he's naturally deficient, or was born missing that part of his brain, or whatever r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 12:15 AM
24

This. Actual nice people understand that niceness is its own reward. We're nice because that's how we like to be treated, and we sleep easy at night knowing we make the world a more pleasant place. Shitty people put on an act of being nice ONLY when they think it will benefit them personally. And when it doesn't get them the benefit they were expecting, they're offended, because to them, being nice is an imposition, not just the correct way to live.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 10:10 PM
69

I've never once seen a dude who laments about having bad luck in sex and romance despite being "good looking" who was actually good looking. I've seen a few who could be good looking, if they put any effort into their health and grooming. Guys. Your height/jawline/eye color/whatever don't matter if you're lazy, dirty, sedentary, stay up all night, and eat nothing but processed garbage and alcohol. Yes, we can tell all of that just from looking at (and smelling) you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 04:26 PM
7

If this is real, which I hope to god it isn't (but it probably is) - this guy is legit dangerous. It would be a net benefit to humanity if he got hit by a bus or eaten by sharks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 01:57 PM
13

LVM can't handle the thought of you getting joy or pleasure from anything that doesn't directly involve/benefit them. Their egos are too fragile to handle the dissonance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 01:53 PM
35

This is why you don't cohabitate with a man who has poor hygiene/housekeeping standards, or at least standards that are significantly lower than yours. There's no winning that fight. Simply put, a man who cares so little about what you think of him that he'll purposely act like a helpless idiot just to get out of doing basic self-care DOES NOT RESPECT YOU. Do not get involved with men who do this. I learned this the hard way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 07:41 PM
1

Yet another reminder of how great it is to be single.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 06:55 PM
43

Lmao, his jimmies were probably so rustled by your response too. "How DARE she respond to my dumb, low-effort question with sarcasm instead of pandering"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 04:03 PM
41

The whole "I feel like I 'missed out' and am therefore entitled to indulge my fantasies" trope is so infuriating. (Women aren't immune to it either, I have a female friend who married when she was young/inexperienced and struggles with the idea that she somehow "missed out" on a bunch of hot rando sex.) These people don't seem to understand that just because you feel like you missed out on doing something doesn't mean you'll a) be happy once you DO do it or b) even have the chance to do it now. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 03:35 PM
3

I love this comment so much
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 03:13 PM
9

It's helpful to consider additional context here. Yes, this is fucked up but it's not like the government went into her bank account and snatched the money out and sent it to her ex. The IRS deposited stimulus funds automatically into whatever bank account they had on file from the most recent tax refunds issued. It sounds like the stimulus funds this woman was counting on went into an account that she used to hold jointly with her ex, that had been garnished for his past unpaid support, and the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 06:07 PM
34

BUT, what scares me is her reaction and the backlash I’d get from him. What if she calls me a homewrecking bitch or something? What if she wants to call and speak to me on the phone with HIM listening with her? What if that stuff does happen? You will come to no harm. I say let her know. If it were me, I would want to be warned. If she believes him over you, then so be it, but at least you gave her the information. I would just send her the screenshots with a message saying "You should know abou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 05:18 PM
80

A literal thief who does nothing all day AND has the impulse control of a toddler? Dump him and get a puppy, girl. At least the puppy is kinda cute when he steals your food.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 12:23 AM
18

Reminder, queens: You're only a "woman you fuck" if you actually fuck him. Keep those standards high.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 05:51 PM
122

Boy you better fix your busted-ass table before I bring anything of mine to it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 03:00 PM
23

You need to be committed to putting a lot of time and energy into meeting, vetting, and dating men. (Something I don't really have time or energy for right now as a single working mom, but as my son gets older and more independent I'll have more free time.) It's a very good strategy, but obviously it's not going to be the right fit for everyone's lifestyle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 02:43 PM
21

Unfortunately for those women, it's most likely too late and their best choice is to dump/leave. And in their next relationship, they can start fresh with a better strategy (as outlined in the OP) so they can avoid being in that situation again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 02:25 PM
18

They both look great and very happy. May they have a long healthy life together. ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 03:04 AM
28

I would blame this on backward Chinese cultural beliefs/stereotypes, but we all know that the taboo around female biology is worldwide. Even here in "woke" America, many women have to switch doctors multiple times to find one who listens to and believes them about their reproductive problems and needs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 05:44 PM
22

It's pickme bait. He wants to attract women who hate themselves enough to see him as a worthwhile challenge. Like, if he likes me that must mean I'm not all those awful things he listed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 05:29 PM
14

A guy will happily waste your time for another hit of validation. Wise words, sis. I'm glad you're rid of that piece of shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 02:05 PM
14

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. I can smell this kid's insecurity through the wall of text. And it smells BAD.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 01:45 PM
11

THIS. This shit kept me in my bad marriage way longer than I should have been. If I'm honest, I suspected before we even got married that it probably wasn't going to work. I thought I could MAKE it work through sheer force of will, or something. Live and learn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 08:15 PM
31

bUt i lOVe hIM Translation: I'd rather put up with this shit than risk being single
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 08:11 PM
2

Jesus. I'm sorry you were subjected to such poor treatment. I've heard so many stories about Goodwill's shadiness as an employer. They straight up exploit all available loopholes regarding their business model and their employees. I donate to a local charity shop to avoid supporting them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 10:01 PM
14

People absolutely do take advantage of the fact that you're working and "the customer is always right." I actually had an older (OF COURSE) man complain to my manager about me when I was working retail in my 20's because I politely said "No, thank you" when he asked if I would go to dinner with him. Fortunately my manager had my back - because she also had extensive experience with shitty men - but what if my manager had taken the customer's side and disciplined me for being rude to a customer? …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 07:05 PM
19

I worked at a dry cleaner, a pet store, and a fast food restaurant as a teen, and got creeped on by gross older men all the time. (There were plenty of nice people too, of course, but creepers happened at least weekly if not daily.) It was pretty traumatic. Your parents definitely did you a favor by not allowing you to be in situations where you could be emotionally scarred by these trash men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 06:31 PM
42

Of course she expects him to disrespect her. He's already disrespecting the hell out of her by continuing to push and beg for something she has said no to multiple times FOR MONTHS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 11:18 PM
10

It blows my mind how many people (esp women) there are who would rather tolerate this bullshit than break up and be single. The response to "Why don't you dump him?" is always "But I love him." Do you? Do you really? Or do you just not have any idea what romantic love is supposed to entail? What's there to love about this? The best thing about getting divorced is discovering that being single is amazing. The next part of your life begins when you realize that being in a relationship is not the g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 05:24 PM
10

Almost every man I know fits at least one of these categories 😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 06:00 PM
6

Learning and leveling up is a lifelong process. Don't be embarrassed by your past. Be proud that you came out on the other side stronger, more experienced, and loving yourself more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 01:00 AM
33

I always think of the 1988 classic "She's Having a Baby" starring Kevin Bacon. Main character's grandparents arguing about their grandson getting married. Grandmother: "He's too young and he's too immature. She's a gold-digger." Grandfather: "There's little or no gold to be dug. He's plenty old and people don't mature anymore. They stay jackasses all their lives." That movie was so ahead of its time lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 10:05 PM
4

Word up. So true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 05:48 PM
32

Ugh, r/AITA works my last nerve. People's need for validation is so cringey. Who gives a fuck if you're the asshole? DUMP HIM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 01:22 AM
103

Yeah, personally I would be annoyed if someone called me 3 times in 13 hours to "make sure I was OK." I'm good. We can chat later when you're done with work. Unless there were some extenuating circumstances like I had just had surgery or a death in the family or something. That would make more sense and would definitely be appreciated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 10:14 PM
41

Ah, negging. The mark of a true lost cause. These dudes neg to pick up girls and then complain that they end up with insecure "crazy bitches." Like what kind of woman do you think is going to be receptive to that technique? Beauty queens with PhD's and six-figure incomes? GTFOH. My favorite neg of all time was from an older guy who my friend had already rejected (this was many years ago when I was in my early 20s - he wasn't terribly unattractive, but was at least 35 and was in a college bar. Re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 09:16 PM
24

HOLY SHIT GET SOME THERAPY. Although I'm not even sure this kind of dysfunction can be fixed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 02:34 PM
46

The audacity of a dude with a part time fast food paycheck trying to call anyone a gold digger. Bitch, there needs to be some gold there first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 11:07 PM
2

Oof, that is unfortunate
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 01:27 AM
1

Do you know any women who would willingly be sitting down in that environment, let alone be barefoot? huah, huah
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 11:45 PM
13

This. A man can say whatever he likes about my looks. Their opinions about me are of no consequence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 11:33 PM
64

40 goddamn years old and still doesn't have a clue about life. Pathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 03:24 PM
21

I can smell this photo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 11:04 PM
12

You mentioned half a dozen red flags just in your one paragraph post. He is definitely a loser. Block and delete. And don't give a second thought to his "criticism" either, it means less than nothing coming from someone like him. Let this experience strengthen your resolve to keep your standards high in future interactions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 06:55 PM
5

Glad you got out of that unscathed. Fuck that guy. It shocks me how many people would rather be in a relationship and miserable than single and happy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 11:17 PM
212

Male interest/desire is just as cheap and abundant as dick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 10:31 PM
23

I can count the number of happy, functional married couples I know on one hand. And I know a lot of married couples. Myself, I'm divorced (2 years now, after a 7 year long marriage and 1 child). And in no hurry to get back into another relationship. I talk a lot to a coworker of mine (or I did, before we all got sent to work from home in early March). She got out of a bad marriage and went straight into another shitty relationship with a lazy, underemployed alcoholic. Now they own a house togeth…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 09:43 PM
17

Being comfortable and happy with being alone is a huge part of FDS. You have to be ready to walk if your standards are not met. There's no negotiating, no settling, and no excuses. And yes, this does mean that you're going to be spending a lot of time single. All the better for leveling up and living your best life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 09:23 PM
31

This is literally a tale as old as time. Men tend to move on much faster because they're unwilling or straight up incapable of doing the simplest things to keep themselves alive and functioning.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 06:27 PM
66

This is the difference between flattery and a true compliment. Compliments are organic, they speak to what is appreciated about you as a person, irrespective of anyone else. Flattery is manipulation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 05:46 PM
1

It depends on the man. IMO, there's nothing wrong with looking/admiring per se. If I trust my partner's character then looking is just looking. I don't read into it beyond that. But having that partner whose character you can trust is the real question, isn't it? Never forget, HVM are rare. A man who cheats is low value. Looking at other women isn't the issue either way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 05:41 PM
16

I pity this woman and the baby too. This "man" has all the emotional maturity of an infant himself. "I guess this is my life now" fucking WAAAHHH. Can't stop obsessing about his own wants even for a second.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 02:32 PM
8

I mean, I can't really relate to this because I enjoy watching sports myself. I have my teams that I follow and I can be pretty damn obnoxious when I get into a good game. I wouldn't want to date a man who wasn't into sports to at least some degree - I would need to have that in common with someone. It's the prioritizing sports over your SO that's the issue, not really the sports themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 10:37 PM
10

LOL, that email he wrote you was maximum cringe. What an asshole. Glad you're rid of him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 10:34 PM
14

They're both annoying IMO. But she doesn't deserve that disrespect. I hope they split up after this quarantine is over and she spills ALL the tea. She's way more successful than him anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 10:29 PM
77

The real reason a man is freaked out by your "number" is because he knows a woman with experience has knowledge and expectations, and he's worried that he won't be able to live up to them, because he's mentally weak and insecure in his abilities. That's it. The whole "you're a used up whore" bit is just projection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 10:22 PM
11

This is more or less the answer I give when people get all concern-trolly and ask me when I'm going to date/get married again now that I've been divorced for 2 years. NEVER, that's when. No thank you. I've spent more than enough of my life being taken advantage of and exploited by men. I've had my fill and I'm good to spend the rest of it doing only things that benefit myself and the people who actually care about me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 05:52 PM
13

They don't want to chat, they just want attention and they're barking up the wrong tree. Go call your mom if you need female attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 05:35 PM
45

"You said it not me"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 05:32 PM
40

She's an idiot for tweeting this try-hard shit. Nobody cares if you bought your boyfriend flowers, and not every brain fart needs to be broadcast to the internet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 05:59 PM
7

You can't fix this shit, fucking dump him. It boggles my mind that there are people out there who would rather be in this situation than be single. It's pathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 04:24 PM
9

He ignored you for a whole day, but then hE wANtS tO tAlK. Of course.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 11:07 PM
24

Males (and many females as well) are socialized to believe that rage and entitlement are the only acceptable "masculine" emotions to express. This is the root of toxic masculinity. I encourage my son to talk about whatever he's feeling, so that he will hopefully grow up being comfortable with feeling and expressing emotions in a healthy way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 11:04 PM
23

Word up sis. My anxiety disorder has all but disappeared now that I've been divorced for 2 years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 10:16 PM
44

I actually appreciate it when a man uses the word "simp" because it makes it super quick and easy for me to suss his low/zero value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 10:15 PM
2

"It's not really weird or anything" OH, OKAY
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 10:37 PM
35

Live and learn, sisters. No one is born knowing how to properly value themselves and make good decisions, and the fact is, we have society working AGAINST us in that regard as well. Believe them when they show you who they are and how much (i.e. how LITTLE) they value you. Break the cycle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 10:32 PM
3

Lol yep, plenty of them do want bangmaids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 12:38 PM
22

I'm loving your self-reflection and insight, sis. Kinks can definitely be a self-harm response to past trauma. Don't be a masturbation doll or porn stand-in for any man who would never do the same for you. You're worth far more than that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 12:08 AM
35

It's a classic manipulation/emotional abuse tactic. Most men are very adept at it. And they have no idea how to react when you recognize it and call it out for what it is. As amusing as it is to see them flounder and try to deny it, don't waste your time. Just follow your keen instincts and dump immediately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 11:53 PM
6

I never let a man know he hurt my feelings, because in his mind this means he has power to affect your feelings, which gives him the upper hand. Just walk. (Yes, I have issues and yes, I'm prepared to be single for the rest of my life lmao)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 11:49 PM
84

The vast majority of men view women as nothing but a means to an end (sex). Your feelings are not a consideration to them. Your feelings might as well not even exist. In fact these men would strongly prefer that you not have any human qualities at all besides primary/secondary sexual characteristics. DO. NOT. WASTE. YOUR. TIME.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 11:38 PM
14

So glad I'm not the only one that retches when a man uses the word "cuddle" lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 05:18 PM
20

It wrecks my heart that anyone thinks this is acceptable in the name of "culture." Black women, you are not worthless. You are queens. I will never accept or turn away from any girl or woman being bullied or told she is unwanted or unworthy. Fuck that shit straight to hell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 01:02 AM
8

TOO REAL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 07:06 PM
8

I don't know what "hoe culture" is but it doesn't sound like something to be glorified or emulated. I'm all for people living the lives they choose, but to be a fully realized person you have to understand that the vibe you put out is the vibe you get back. How about queen culture? That sounds more like what we should be aspiring to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 07:01 PM
3

Yeah, that's what I mean about it being subjective. Some people put more value on bone structure, or weight, or height or whatever other physical characteristics, and that's valid. Your standards are your standards. I'm not that worried about things like height or facial structure, but you're totally right about self-care being important. Nobody wants a lazy, crusty man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 03:51 PM
37

I'm 41 and I like having crushes, particularly on men that I would never actually consider dating. Fantasizing about sex with men is all I really need these days. I don't actually have to fuck them (which I know would most likely not be nearly as good as my fantasy), or deal with their bullshit. I can just indulge in a little daydreaming and move on with my life. Honestly, it's freeing. YMMV of course.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 01:39 AM
11

Cool, an overt rape threat. I mean, at least he gave you an unequivocal heads up so you could immediately block him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 01:34 AM
38

Ugly is pretty subjective. I'm way pickier about character, personality and behavior than I am about looks. That's not to say you should lower your personal standards for anyone. Even horribly unattractive men feel completely entitled to women who meet THEIR standards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 10:55 PM
7

Go see a jeweler! Google your local selection and go to the one that advertises "sales staff not paid on commission" and/or "certified gemologists." (Probably not Kay or Zales or big chains like that)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 02:58 PM
12

He didn't apologize or reschedule. If it were me I'd take that as a sign he wasn't into me and move on. If you want to give him a second chance, up to you, but I would advise waiting for him to ask, plan and schedule. Don't do the work for him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 05:35 PM
24

This story has been all over the local news here (I live in GA) and I knew from the second it hit the wire that she was missing, that she was probably dead and her boyfriend was probably the one who killed her. Such a lovely, intelligent and loved young lady, taken away before she ever had a chance to really live. Tragic doesn't feel strong enough a word to describe this. May she rest in power.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 05:27 PM
52

Financial responsibility is the first and most important step towards financial independence. Budgeting is not fun or exciting but it is necessary. Way to level up sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 05:23 PM
34

Soooo many men only use OLD as an all-you-can-harass buffet, I swear. Manchildren who would never be brave enough to say some line-stepping shit like that to a woman's face are emboldened by the "safety" of the app. Suddenly there's a whole smorgasbord of women who are basically captive to whatever gross, porn-LARPing thing they can come up with to say. This is the #1 reason I avoid OLD completely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 11:44 PM
12

"Is that a yes or a no?" Lmao dying
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 09:05 PM
4

I lol'd at the last message. The chutzpah of these scrubs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 04:35 PM
3

Attraction happens organically. If it's not there it's not there, and trying to force it isn't fair to yourself or to him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 04:24 PM
42

Supernatural charm is a warning sign of a narcissist and/or sociopath. Steer clear. I like men who are a bit awkward and dorky for this reason.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 04:22 PM
2

Of course he has "explanations" (aka excuses). Nah sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 04:20 PM
23

They don't care what we want. I promise you that the thought of what she might want never entered this dude's mind for a second. Only what he wants, and whatever he has to do to get it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 11:12 PM
14

Love it. I'd say he's acting like a dog, but dogs are 100x more loyal than these scrubs. And a lot cuter most of the time too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 10:46 PM
22

There's nothing wrong with being selective and having high standards. While I can't say I wish I were still a virgin, I CAN say that the majority of the sex I've had has been unsatisfying at best, horrible at worst. There have only been 2 past partners that I would say were amazing or that I would sleep with again given the chance. Don't waste your precious time and energy for bad sex, queens!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 11:03 PM
27

Me too. I have known too many other women who have horror stories about accidental down-there scissor cuts 😥
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 10:58 PM
7

She should @ him with this screenshot. Name and shame.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 10:42 PM
7

All hail!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 10:37 PM
6

You don't have to agree sis. Lord knows I don't agree with 100% of FDS ideology. We do not do ideological debate here. It's a fast track to getting banned so please refrain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 04:47 PM
82

If he says that, he's not committed and has no intention of wifing you. Doesn't get much clearer than that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 04:10 PM
16

PUA "strategy" is so lame. They actually think they're slick with this shit. 🙄 Sis, the reason you're upset is because you got negged and still let him fuck. Dump and block. Who even cares if you're TA.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 03:54 PM
20

This is equal parts funny and sad. They really can't deal with a world where they aren't in complete control, can they? Be glad this guy is out of your life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 03:44 PM
37

OOF INFINITY
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 02:59 PM
17

Yep. If someone has views that fundamentally do not mesh with mine, or that I find objectionable, I'd much rather find out right away. I'm not going to be rude, or try to debate or get in someone's face about shit that I disagree with, because that's a waste of my time and energy. People should believe what they want. I just wouldn't keep seeing him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 12:50 AM
10

I'm all for listening sympathetically and being there for him when he has a problem. That's just being a kind person, and not really the type of support I was talking about. What I do not tolerate is being used as a crutch, a free therapist, or an emotional punching bag. Dealing with feelings in a healthy way is work. It takes honesty, self-reflection, and effort. If he wants to do the work, then I'm here for it. But I am not going to be anyone's sounding board for repeated/sustained bitching ab…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 12:27 AM
24

Eating vegetables falls under the heading of "taking decent care of your health," which is definitely an essential criterion for being a HVM. I can't deal with a man whose palate is so undeveloped he won't venture outside pizza, wings and burgers. It's a red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 08:31 PM
47

When my son was 8 months old, I was rocking him to sleep while my then-husband played a video game in the living room. My son got diarrhea and blew out his diaper, resulting in runny baby poo all over my arm, hand and lap. I called to husband for help, and asked him to please bring me a towel because the baby just had a shit blowout - he literally ran into my son's room and THREW a towel at me with his gaming headset still on and his controller in the other hand, and ran back to his game. His ex…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 08:23 PM
10

High five for growth, queen. It's a wonderful thing, ain't it? Makes me sad for these LVM who have never experienced it and probably never will.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 06:51 PM
63

I was raised with the type of manners in which this would not be acceptable, on a date or otherwise. "Hey, I'm going to grab cake pops too, would you like?" is pretty baseline good etiquette. Eating in front of your companion without asking if they would like some is rude and shows a major deficiency of social skill, full stop.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 06:32 PM
24

Most men are emotional vampires by nature. I have friends and family for emotional support, and in my next relationship (should I ever choose to engage in another one), his friends and family will be primarily serving that role for him as well. I have vowed to never do unreciprocated emotional labor again for any man, even in platonic/professional relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 02:26 PM
45

Margot Robbie is a 10+ and a gifted, accomplished actor. She could be wearing a garbage bag and be smeared head to toe in dirt and she'd still be out of 99.9% of men's league. Scrubs are delusional.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 02:20 PM
35

Wow, I could have written this verbatim 7 years ago... He's not going to change sis, he's only going to get worse. Get out now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 02:15 PM
11

I've been single for 2 years but I'm never lonely. I enjoy my own company and have a never-ending to-do list that keeps me engaged and busy. It's funny - looking back at my life, the times I've been single have always been the times I was happiest. In relationships, I always seem to end up miserable and dealing with flares of my anxiety/depression. Pretty interesting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 02:12 PM
5

I think he would just get overwhelmed and miss things, which, I get that. He has ADHD and I understand/sympathize that certain things are more difficult for certain people. But you can't ask one of the many people in there who work there and whose literal job it is to know where stuff is? That's the part that flummoxed me. The fact that he would go all the way to the store, spend the time looking for whatever it was, and then just give up and come home. Like there's no other solution other than …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 06:15 PM
12

Boyfriend and all his POS friends are TA here for sure. RUN, GIRL. HE WILL DO THIS SHIT TO YOU TOO.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 06:11 PM
9

My ex was known to come back empty handed after going to the store for something he wanted to cook, with the response that he "couldn't find it." I asked him why didn't he ask someone who worked there where it was, and it was like that had never occurred to him. Men... what the fuck is wrong with y'all?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 05:37 PM
3

Ugh. He finds himself so charming, doesn't he. Disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 05:24 PM
7

Sex positivity is such a strange concept. Like I get that we should encourage people to live their lives as they choose, but shouldn't that positivity extend to those of us who don't want casual sex or don't enjoy indulging in kinks that make us feel degraded? I don't judge your sex life, please don't judge mine! Just because my turn-ons and wants are different from yours doesn't make me "sex negative." Far from it. I love sex, but I like what I like and I'm not compromising that for anyone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 05:05 PM
14

Some of these men really think all women are weak and simple minded 😑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 04:42 PM
3

Leveling up helps you see things more clearly. We can be willfully blinded to a man's LV shenanigans when we're in love. Glad you're out of that relationship. Don't feel too bad for his new girl - she'll figure it out on her own time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 04:37 PM
19

Your date was doing lame PUA mind game shit and your friend is a pickme. Don't encourage either one of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 04:33 PM
9

The statues are kissing each other lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 02:48 AM
3

Thanks for the recommendation! I'll check it out, it sounds kinda perfect for me. I have changed up my routine to lighten cardio and focus more on weights/body weight resistance, because of all the research that shows the same thing you said about how our health changes as we age. I still hate working out, and it's a slog to get myself out the door to do it most of the time, but I never regret it when I'm done.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 02:40 AM
3

Take care of yourself! Get lots of rest when you're not at work, and I hope you enjoy the hell out of your day off because you deserve it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 02:35 AM
9

My son is my first priority, and gets the lion's share of my time and mental/physical energy. Kids are a lot of work, but in my view he's worth every bit. No question. I've really been leaning in to work lately - developing my skills and learning as much as I can about my field and our product. Finally found a job I love and I want to grow with this company. Gym. I have always hated working out, but now that I'm over 40, I really feel a drive to commit to a healthier lifestyle. Exercise is one o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 12:32 AM
17

It looks like Scots dialect to me, which can be a little hard for non-Scots to interpret in text (and even harder to understand when spoken!) Basically "My mom needs to learn you don't need to reuse everything, now I look like white trash at work"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 12:16 AM
26

THISSSSS. I'll be honest, I'm not 100% in agreement with all of FDS's ideology. And that's OK. I don't come here to debate ideology, I come here to lift up fellow women who are ready to level up and give up being treated shittily by men. And to get inspired on my own journey. This article is pretty transparently trying to discredit FDS with bad faith arguments.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 11:56 PM
4

I'm sorry, sis. I've been there (multiple LTR breakups and a divorce under my belt) and I know how much it sucks, especially on a day like today when it seems like everyone else is in a happy relationship. Just remember: Number 1, not everyone you see that's in a relationship is happy. Far from it. Number 2, you are a queen on your own merits. VDay is about love, so love yourself. ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 11:17 PM
23

I got a gorgeous potted orchid delivered to my work today, from my sweet dad. Who I'm sure had his order in and dealt with well in advance, because he's a pro like that 😂 Sorry you're dealing with last minute hell, sis! I hope you have a very soothing, relaxing night and weekend after today's rush.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 11:02 PM
22

Going to the gym tonight - I know it won't be crowded and I won't have to wait for any machines! Today's as good a day as any for level-up shit! Hope all you queens have a great one no matter what your plans are for tonight. OP, getting dolled up and eating fancy chocolate strawberries sounds like a dope night, honestly. Throw in a bubble bath and a good movie, and it beats being crammed elbow-to-elbow with the crowd at an overbooked restaurant any day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 10:57 PM
23

My beautiful baby sister posted this on IG today. She makes big sis so proud!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 10:30 PM
22

I only know one stay at home dad (3 kids ages 3 to 8), and he's a great dad and a loving, doting husband. I don't find him attractive at all physically, but I still consider his wife a lucky lady. She's awesome too and has a really good, well paid job. In my view it totally depends on how much trust you have in your husband's character and abilities as a father. The vast majority of men will not be suitable SAHD's.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 05:42 PM
18

I cleaned a boyfriend's gross apartment once, about 10 years ago, mainly because I couldn't stand being in there in the state it was in, and he was clearly unwilling to do it himself. (He "helped" me by taking the huge pile of old newspapers out to the dumpster while I did everything else.) He and I only dated for about 5 months. He never cheated on me in that time, to my knowledge, but he did stand me up at a wedding for which he was supposed to be my date. I went early to do the bride's and MO…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 11:01 PM
14

Wow, I never realized that I was insisting on living my own life and having my own stuff solely to manipulate men. The mental gymnastics this guy does in just a few sentences is almost impressive in its ridiculousness. And I bet he still doesn't understand why no women want to date him or fuck him...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 11:29 PM
49

I got a chat invite that just quoted one of my comments from a previous FDS post and said "you're a freak." I declined it of course but had to laugh at how lame that was. These LVM can't even make the effort to insult us properly 😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 12:10 AM
10

No, you are not overreacting. Murdering him would be overreacting. Telling him he's trash and divorcing his ass is a perfectly proportionate reaction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 10:56 PM
5

Love this. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 01:26 PM
19

Yesss Christine Rosen you nailed it! FDS continues to level up y'all!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 01:10 PM
3

Love this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 11:57 PM
9

SIS I AM SCREAMING, this description is everything. This should be the Wikipedia entry for "Low Value Male" lmaoooooooo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 11:45 PM
53

A LVM will play mind games with you to keep you interested while he explores his options. Never, ever waste your precious time and energy trying to guess what a man is thinking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 11:16 PM
11

I remember the time I discovered my ex husband had been wearing the same pair of boxers for 3 straight days (he had been showering but just putting them back on D:) to avoid doing a load of laundry. By this time I was already pregnant with his child... whew lord one day I want to be able to look back and not recognize the person I was who made the choices I made
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 03:08 AM
11

It's stories like these that stop me from getting back out into the dating scene after my divorce. If I didn't have a child, I'd be a lot more willing to take certain risks with who I let in to my life. But my biggest fear is some man harming my son or using my love for him as a weapon against me. I'm sorry you are dealing with this, sis. I hope that piece of shit ends up in jail where he belongs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 11:17 PM
15

Legally he's done himself no favors by moving out and leaving her there. In many states that would make his case a lot more difficult, because she/her lawyer can make the argument that she has adverse possession rights to the property, and he abandoned or relinquished his rights to the home by leaving. It's a long shot but it's still arguable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 11:01 PM
4

Agreed on both counts. I'm honestly shocked he even had the self-awareness to consider he might be The Asshole... although he was probably expecting NTA validation instead of the dose of reality he got.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 10:37 PM
4

He's clearly TA and an empathy-deficient POS too. Honestly she's lucky she doesn't have this LVM's baby but that doesn't mean she's not allowed to have feelings. DUMP AND BLOCK SIS. Cut your mf-ing losses and leave him behind forever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 09:28 PM
7

So scummy that he acts like he cares about you for the benefit of others thinking he's worth a shit. He doesn't care about you so don't waste your time and energy grieving him. You're worth far more than this shitty man has to offer. And remind your landlady to stay in her lane!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 07:00 PM
8

If a man is too insecure to handle your HV qualities then he's not a HVM. HVM enjoy being around intelligent, highly educated women. Hiding your accomplishments to make a man more comfortable is pickme shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 05:38 PM
9

A HVM will not leave you confused about how he feels. Never waste your valuable time guessing how a man feels or stressing about him. As some wise sister said in the weekly discussion post yesterday - stressing over a guy is LV behavior. Just don't. Onward and upward.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 05:26 PM
1

My pleasure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 03:15 AM
4

His deal could be any number of things. Based just on the way you described his behavior, he seems to be treating you as an option, which is not something you want to encourage or settle for. If you want something serious from a guy, you need to be seeing consistency from him. If the way he acts leaves you confused, he's not serious about you. Don't drive yourself crazy trying to understand or rationalize his behavior or guess what he's thinking. All you need to understand is that leveling up me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 03:07 AM
16

If he really liked you, and appreciated your value properly, you wouldn't be confused. You would know. There wouldn't be mixed messages or inconsistent communication and he would have already confirmed your previously discussed plans for this weekend. Don't allow him to treat you like an option. You did the right thing by letting him know you were moving on, now show him your value and keep to your word.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 02:53 AM
16

Generally inconsistency means he's not that into you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 02:42 AM
8

Block. He doesn't care about you and thus doesn't deserve to look at your snaps.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 01:56 AM
5

I love being single too. I'm happier now in every way i can think of - even being celibate is way better than the bad sex I was having in my marriage. I have a great job, an awesome kid, and a fun, fulfilling social life which I enjoy - I just miss sex sometimes. Mildly annoying, but not enough so that I would ditch my standards. Just venting more than anything. Thanks for the response and your kind words.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 01:52 AM
10

I'm struggling with celibacy y'all. I split from my ex husband almost 2 years ago, and while I'm happy and content with single life in all other respects, I miss sex. Especially now that I'm happier in general being out of a bad marriage, my sex drive is higher than it has been in the past when I was miserable and anxious all the time. I'm also just straight up scared of getting back out there once I do feel like my self esteem and HV mindset are at the level they need to be at. I haven't dated …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 01:16 AM
10

Men like this are the reason the block button was invented.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 01:09 AM
3

As someone who has struggled with a mental health condition and made some extremely poor choices stemming from that - step back from dating while you are actively healing. You said yourself, your mental state is influencing your standards. Love yourself and take care of yourself first. Your health and well being are a way higher priority than dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 12:09 AM
8

This reminds me of the psychological abstract I read about how some researchers now believe the dark triad should really be a dark tetrad which includes subclinical sadism...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 11:44 PM
19

Even in my pickme days I still had a low tolerance for this shit. 20 years ago I had a ONS ask me if he could "beat off and cum in your face" and I made him leave lmaooo. I'm down to try new things, but anything that would make me feel unsafe, unloved, or degraded is off the table, period. I feel for younger women now (I'm 41). It was hard enough navigating sex and dating before porn became so ubiquitous, depraved and effortless to access. Now women have a whole new generation of men who have ba…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 11:27 PM
11

Some women never see it sis. Happy for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 11:16 PM
11

It is a big deal. You demonstrated your high worth, to him and to yourself. Excellent work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 11:09 PM
23

LOL sis you give me life
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 11:07 PM
16

As far as LVM are concerned, being denied their "rightful" casual sex is as bad as death. Some of these men actually believe not getting sex is as bad as being raped or killed. We are literally murdering them by not putting up with their crap.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 11:04 PM
10

Read the Wiki y'all. For the rules and also because there is some real leveling-up motivational gold in there. Live it, love it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 10:59 PM
10

This is some solid gold life advice. Thank you queen. Being in financial thrall to a man makes you extremely vulnerable to abuse. I learned through experience that if your man works and you do not - no matter how much unpaid household/childrearing work you are doing for him - he absolutely will hold it over your head at every turn. NEVER AGAIN.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 05:32 PM
17

You will get there sis. Your hard work will pay off and it will all be worth it one day. All love and luck to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 05:28 PM
9

Don't even need to look any further than the profile pic to know this is a trash man
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 01:24 AM
9

It's funny, one of the few actual good quality marriages that I know of is my cousin as well. She and her husband have 4 young daughters and a happy (if sometimes messy/noisy) home. Her husband is an excellent provider, and has never made her or their daughters feel anything but loved and safe. He's not my personal cup of tea as far as looks/views/humor, but he is for sure a HVM with excellent character. I love being around their family, and I especially love for my son to spend time with them s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 12:15 AM
38

The false equivalency that they draw between woman-initiated divorce and rape is so appalling that it actually sickens me. Men who rape do not do it as a last resort to save themselves from a life of misery. I'm sorry your ex was such a LV manchild. You're worth more than that. Learn from your mistakes but don't be pissed at yourself. Let it motivate you to never again accept such low effort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 11:59 PM
13

There are some days where every interaction I have with a man requires me to do unreciprocated emotional labor. They really can be exhausting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 11:47 PM
18

I'm sorry you went through that. I've been there and I know how shitty it is in all aspects. It's a last resort option, not a lifestyle. I hope you're doing a lot better now. (Which I'm sure you are, since you're not married to your ex anymore.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 11:38 PM
56

LMAOOOO My hobby is entrapping poor, innocent men and then surprise divorcing them and taking all their stuff away! It's so fun! I just love meeting with lawyers and spending as much time as possible at the courthouse, it's so relaxing and fulfilling! Ridiculous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 11:31 PM
19

Preach sis. TESTIFY. I can count on one hand the number of married couples I know whose marriages resemble anything I would actually want for myself (or for any HV woman). And I know A LOT of married couples.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 11:25 PM
3

That's wonderful. Sounds like they were both worth the wait! I hope they have many more happy years together. I'm in no rush. If refusing to compromise my standards means I stay single until I'm 58, or for the rest of my life, I'm happy with that. I like my life the way it is. I'm only letting someone in who will add more value to it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 11:19 PM
82

Ummm.. Have you ever considered the fact that SHE IS UNHAPPY?And that you are the direct cause of said unhappiness? THIS RIGHT HERE. If your wife tells you she is unhappy, listen to her. And make an effort to meet her needs. That's literally all you have to do to avoid "losing everything." RP-ers like to act like women enjoy filing for divorce. Like getting a divorce isn't incredibly stressful and horrible for us, and that's it's not something we would strongly prefer to avoid if there were ANY …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 11:02 PM
38

A friend of mine's dad has been married and divorced seven times. SEVEN. TIMES. At 53 years old. And he's the epitome of a shitbag NVM who leaves nothing but destruction in his wake. (He and my friend, his adult daughter, have limited contact because of his behavior.) So many men just aren't willing or able to self-reflect or take responsibility for their actions/lives. He'll probably get married at least 2 more times. The bottom line is, most of the time, we DO have to keep one foot out the doo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 10:55 PM
16

41 here, can confirm. Older women often seem threatening to LVM because we have higher self esteem and know our worth after decades of negative experience with men. And yes, I'm also not looking for marriage. I've been married and am now divorced. I have a child and don't want more. What I want now is to love myself more. If I do get with another man, it will be a man who has way more to offer than just dick. And I will certainly never be with a man who will undo all the work I have done to set …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 05:28 PM
4

The archetype of a LV scumbag. Disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 05:19 PM
19

Speaking just for myself here - being overweight is not a dealbreaker, but being deceitful and full of excuses is. It's a red flag that he is a) using inaccurate pics as bait for hookups and b) will not be truthful with you in general.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 05:15 PM
12

Lol, the excuses. Sad. I don't even care if a guy is heavier, but of fucking course this one chooses to deceive and blame his single status instead of be truthful and up front. Bullet dodged sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 05:13 PM
8

This is what I love about FDS though - the emphasis on self love through self improvement. I'm done hating myself and settling for garbage because of low self esteem. I'm putting my effort into becoming the person I want to be, and NOT putting any more effort into getting a man who has nothing to offer me besides his dick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 05:06 PM
8

PPD can and does lead to suicide, tragically. It's only compounded and made worse by an unsupportive LV father.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 11:42 PM
5

Excellent analogy. And yet, this is EXACTLY what a lot of men do. A lot of women do it too. Toxic people do toxic things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 02:34 PM
7

Excellent analogy. And yet, this is EXACTLY what a lot of men do. A lot of women do it too. Toxic people do toxic things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 02:34 PM
8

I will not tolerate racism in a man, overt or casual. Unexamined white supremacist mindset = low value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 02:00 PM
19

Virtually all of the backlash is absolutely due to misogyny and racism. The rest is just people who are too immature/stupid/greedy to understand why anyone would willingly walk away from that level of wealth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 03:34 AM
7

Me neither. If I were him I would absolutely be doing the same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 02:46 AM
18

Men like that will only make any sort of effort if they think it's going to get them "rewarded" with casual sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 12:54 AM
19

I had an ex who messaged me when I changed my facebook status to "engaged" to tell me how sorry he was about how he treated me when we were together (he was a compulsive liar who cheated on me at least once) and how he was in therapy now and a changed man, he regrets losing me, yadda yadda. I mean that's nice and all, but he never would have said any of that if my status change hadn't scrolled across his feed. I honestly just think he wanted to remind me of how bad he made me feel, and make hims…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 10:22 PM
19

Being single on Valentine's Day is so freeing. No expectations, no disappointment. Years ago, I went on a first date with a guy on Valentine's Day. Neither one of us even thought about it until we were already at the restaurant and realized it was filled with couples celebrating VD. We had an awkward laugh about it. Ended up dating him for 5 months and dumped him when he stood me up at a mutual friend's wedding that he was supposed to be my date for. Jerk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 09:47 PM
11

Disagree. What happened to Diana happened largely because she was in a loveless marriage with a man who was not faithful to her - not that she was a saint in that department either - and who had no interest in her beyond the (preferably male) heirs she could provide for his dynasty. None of that applies to Meghan.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 09:31 PM
36

Yes to all of this. The meme's point - that reciprocity is the bare minimum of what you should be expecting from a HVM - still stands. But my eye-twitch gets triggered whenever I see any hint of this shitty "MEgHaN cASt aN EViL sPeLL oN hARrY" trope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 06:09 PM
92

Right? Also if she were a gold digger would she really be on board with them walking away from a multi billion $ fortune? Okay, haters, you tried. This whole situation just proves that they are right to do what they are doing. I am confident that they will have no problems being financially successful without QEII's money, and much happier to boot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 05:00 PM
183

THANK YOU. He's a Grown. Ass. Man. He loves his wife - who is a queen on her OWN MERITS, tyvm - and his child more than he wants to be an active part of the moldy, classist, deeply fucked-up institution that is the royal family. Like what is so hard to understand about that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 04:43 PM
569

I see so many of these memes about Meghan and Harry and it seems like no one has even acknowledged that Harry was in on this decision and it's very likely that Meghan didn't have to "convince" him of jack shit. He wants no part of any of that crap either and I don't blame him. His mother was hounded by the media and overzealous media attention is what ultimately led to her death. They have no privacy whatsoever, no decision is theirs to make without relentless scrutiny and criticism, they can't …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 04:10 PM
12

I gasped out loud when I got to the part about them biting you (WHAT THE FUCK) and calling you juicy. The disrespect and audacity are sickening and I bet they thought it was cute and flattering.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 02:59 PM
3

The cats thing! This is actually something my mother taught me and in my experience it's 100% accurate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 02:05 PM
10

"It's your fault I abuse you." Literally textbook narcissism.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 11:15 PM
10

That's literally toddler behavior. Same level as sticking fingers in ears and saying LALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU NYAAAA
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 11:10 PM
3

I really, really needed to read this today. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 09:14 PM
12

Stinky breath. I get it if you just ate something garlicky, but if it's consistent it's a no for me. Overgrown nails. Regular manis and pedis not necessary, but keep them shits clean and trimmed. Smoking. Hate the smell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 08:48 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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