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rhett342 Archive

View 10 posts and 526 comments by rhett342 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

Hey, ypuve stopped now. That's what counts.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 02:23 AM
2

That was actually the tour that we first went to.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 09:10 PM
1

Just watched the trailer. That looks good and it's got Jennifer Lawrence in it. I'm a fan if hers but not in a creepy sort of way. We're from the same town so its good to see a local girl soong good. I'll definitely watch that. Thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 01:23 PM
4

Ooooh, Beautiful Day would be great. I may have to go hit a karaoke bar soon......
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 06:36 AM
0

Men and women both do it for the same reasons. I'm a man and we have our issues that we often ignore
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 11:27 PM
0

Everybody is the hero in their own story.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 11:25 PM
3

Reddit does too.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 11:25 PM
-1

People who show a few signs of a certain mental disorder don't always have it either. Spending time online reading about a certain disorder doesn't mean you're a mental health expert who can diagnose people. If you were really that good at it, then you should go get one of the really well paying jobs that actually diagnose people.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 11:24 PM
0

And narcissists can also have a piece of crap human for their spouse who make their lives horrible. They are not mutually wxclusive.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 11:21 PM
0

If you’ve been reading this subreddit for any length of time you’ll realize that there is a real bpd mental health crisis in this country. No, there really isn't. Like, at all. There is, however, a real crisis of people spending time online and thinking they are an expert on a subject when they really have no clue what they're talking about. This is a subreddit where you will come across the consequences of bpd. This is a subreddit full of people who have zero actual psychiatric training. Splitt…
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 11:19 PM
4

People hear things that they think explains someone's actions so they latch onto that because it's easy and also makes them feel like there's nothing they could have done differently becaus the other person is sick. Once they have that thought, they spend some time online reading stuff that correlates with what they think. Sure, having increased energy, talking fast, having racing thoughts, impulsivity, disturbed or illogical thinking, irritably, aggression, and impatience are all signs of someo…
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 11:10 PM
2

She was a SAHM. Get a lawyer, get out, and let the men from the dating apps deal with her. I was a chump and tried to work things out even when she was sneaking around doing who knows what with a man she worked with. That was dumb. Don't be dumb like me. Once I saw how indifferent she was to my suffering, I stopped caring about her. Now, I'm just about to buy her out of our nice house and she really needs the money because she's having trouble paying the rent at the trailer park. I'd feel bad ab…
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 11:21 PM
3

My ex and I were on the same cell phone plan. My friends said she'd still be talking to the other guy when she was ignring my calls and told me to pull her records while she "needed her space to think." I did it just to prove them wrong because I knew her better than that. I didn't. They were right.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 05:22 AM
1

Married for 23 and together for 24 here.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 05:17 AM
2

This guy dated a married woman. You deserve whatever you get when you do that. Let those 2 losers have each other and wreck each other's lives. What those two do is none of your concern. Move on, brother, and build the life you'd never be able to have with her around.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 05:16 AM
1

I'll be just fine with a low number of women that only care about me and not my bank account. I'd much rather be upfront about such things and not waste her time or mine. Or my money.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 05:03 AM
1

I think a woman wants money I'm not back to dating or anything yet, but I already know that I'm going to significantly downplay how much money I make when I do start dating again. I'd much rather my income be a happy surprise if she does find out than a disappointment. Cheaper dates too!
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 04:47 AM
3

Just for future reference, you can still get a woman pregnant even if you don't ejaculate inside her.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 04:40 AM
7

Why not wait until we bought a house to initiate a divorce like wtf? she has been talking to a guy that looks like a crack addict and doesn't even have a job You answered that question on your own there. Also, stop using logic when dealing with this person. It's not going to work. I tried rebuilding things with my ex after she'd been "talking" to some loser she worked with. That was a huge, stupid, and pointless mistake. If your wife wants to leave, let her. Move on with your life and let the cr…
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 09:54 AM
1

Saying you know and understand stuff can be easy when you're living your life. When you're in bed alone at night, it's not so easy. That being said, even if she knows what she did and how much harm it's caused for everyone, that's not going to make your pain go away. It won't erase what she's done. That stuff is broken beyond repair and there's no going back. All you can do now is work on building a new life without her.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 09:39 AM
2

If you get bit by a snake, you don't follow the snake around telling it how much it hurt you... You get the fuck away from the snake! Not OP but just wanted to say thanks for saying that. Some of us needed to hear that tonight.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 09:29 AM
3

Make it a community college and it's a deal.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 03:25 AM
3

Hey, I've been wanting to see NYC my entire life. I'm in Louisville KY. There are great places to go hiking and see nature around here. I'm right in the heart of bourbon country and you can do all kinds of distillery tours around here. We're also known for all the horses around here. If you're interested, we could do a house swap for a little while. You can even have my car while you're here.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 02:46 AM
3

Same here. Anger is a gift. I use it to make me change the things that need to be changed in my life. I don't take it out on anyone and I'm often one of the nicest people you'll meet. I just use it to be better.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/24 12:38 AM
2

From the way you put that, I think we may have been married to the same woman.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/24 12:36 AM
9

My ex is the same way and I don't feel the least bit guilty about it. I can make more money now that I can work more hours because I don't care if I'm at work or at home with her. I also don't have nearly as many expenses without her. Those two things combined mean I actually can afford some of those nice electronics that I'd wanted for years. Besides, it's not like you or I chose to end our marriages so we could live the lives that we do now. That was all them. Why shouldn't we enjoy the fruits…
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/24 06:58 PM
7

As much as it sucks and you'll hate to see it happen, you can't do anything about how your ex parents. Think about it, if you couldn't get her to parent like a decent human being while you were married, do you really think she's going to listen to you once you're divorced? I'm in the same boat as you. I was always the only parent who ever did any sort of disciplining. My ex was a doormat who let the kids do anything they ever wanted. Kids can have plenty of friends from school or wherever else t…
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/24 06:16 PM
3

That's what inwas going for.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/24 04:09 AM
9

Treats strangers better then you I really wish I would have paid more attention to that one. My ex would be a complete doormat with everyone else in the world but would have all kinds of issues that just would not budge at all on when it came to me.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/24 01:06 AM
17

Typical woman response. Want to hear a man's reaponse? My ex got breast cancer right after she turned 30. I went to every single appointment with her. During the 2-3 weeks that she spent in the hospital for various issues, there was 1 night that I didn't spend up there with her. The cancer was caused by a genetic disorder and will probably cause other cancers or GI problems for the rest of her life. Even though I was there for everything when she was sick, I still didn't feel like I did enough a…
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/24 01:01 AM
1

She may very well be the awesome swinging single girl. I have no idea and can be doing whatever she likes. As long as I don't have tondeal with it, she can do whatever and whoever she wants.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 11:44 AM
3

Sadly, no. All if her stuff is either in the basement that I use for storage or one of the bedrooms that I don't need fir anything anyway. The rest of the house is ex free already. Honestly, making the house mine is one of the big reasons ex free is why why I got the new TV and speakers anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 11:40 AM
2

I considered doing that but I'm too lazy to haul that stuff out.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 05:13 AM
5

There is no such thing as overkill when it comes to audio. The more the better.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 03:02 AM
3

Nice! All my speakers are Paradigm. Prestige 55c for center, Prestige 85f for left and right, PS1000 for a sub, and I can't remember exactly what models are mounted in the ceiling. I'm expecting a Marantz SR6010 to power everything. I would go more than 5.1 but my living room just isn't a great place for anything more.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 02:57 AM
2

Nice! What do you have for the audio setup? I've always been more into that than the TV.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 02:32 AM
6

No way, I love that house! The issue is giving her enough to make her go away. I lost my family and I'm not losing my home too. I can afford to give her a bit more, I just don't want to.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 02:31 AM
8

I'm buying her out of the house and she's being a pain about it. Once that's done and she finishes getting her stuff out of the house, she'll be nothing but a bad memory. As for it not being her business, I'm not too upset if she sees how well I'm doing without her.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 02:30 AM
3

65" OLED, 4' tall speakers on each side of the entertainment center and an almost 3' long center channel on top. Last I heard she had a small LCD that died and hasn't been able to replace it. She's such a poor thing. As it turns out, making poor life choices and being lazy doesn't equal success.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 02:21 AM
10

Yeah, I'm not going to lie, it has been rather amusing. I was in a rough patch mentally and physically. She cheated with some loser she worked with (he was working the same job she was, that's how you know he's loser) and our divorce was finalized when we were making the same income so no alimony!. I got my mind and body straight and am able to work very full time now. My income is about twice what we were making combined the last year we were together. I don't know exactly what her finances are…
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 02:17 AM
3

Oh, I couldn't care less about her issues. If anything, it's kind of amusing watching her fail so horribly. She wants to be Miss Independent? Fine. Good luck with that. The kids are adults now. Things are the way they are and aren't going to be changing with them. My only issue is that I'm trying to buy her out of the house and she's whining for more money. She's been over to get more of her stuff and my new toys are very visible and that's got her worked up. I don't talk to her at all. Everythi…
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 02:11 AM
3

I ha e barely said a single word to her over the past year. I'm trying to buy her out of the house and she's wanting more money. She also hasnt gotten all of her stuff out. The kids are grown. Once the house is settled and her stuff is gone, she'll be nothing but a bad memory.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 02:05 AM
4

She still hasn't gotten all her crap out of the house. She came to get some stuff yesterday. The new TV and speakers are very noticeable.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 02:02 AM
3

I'm I'm the process of buying her out of the house and she's whining for more money before she'll sign off. She still hasn't gotten all her crap out and when she came to get more the other day, she saw the new toys.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 02:01 AM
3

The only reason why it's even an issue is that I'm buying her out of the house and she's whining for more money. Other than that, I couldn't care less.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 01:48 AM
2

I'm friends with a woman who said she wanted to get closure with her ex-husband before she married her fiance. The ex was never the kind of guy who would ever sit down and have heart to heart talks with her like she wanted when they were married. Eventually she realized that getting g the sort of closure that she wanted was never going to happen and if she tried, it would just blow up in her face. She had to choose to just reach that point in her head so she could move on and get married again. …
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 06:46 PM
10

'You are controlling. My ex was going and doing stuff with a guy that she worked with that she wouldn't go and do with me even when I really wanted her to. She'd lie about what all she was going to be doing when she went and did stuff with him. She'd say she was going for a walk to get some nice quiet time by herself and then call him (I'm pretty sure he'd come meet her while she was out too). I got mad and didn't want her hanging out with this guy who she said had a thing for her. I don't think…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 07:59 AM
7

I don't knownif my ex was physically cheating or not but it doesn't matter because she was definitely having an emotional affair. That was her choice. Even with all that, I still wanted to work things out because divorce was never an option for me. When I said "until death do us part," I meant it. Unfortunately, she didn't. I was going through some old emails looking for something that had nothing to do with her and saw one from her that I had never read that was from a few months ago. She was c…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 07:49 AM
3

Being at least a little bitter is perfectly normal. Even when you think you're past it, you'll have times when you fall back into it. Don't beat yourself up when you do that. It'll happen less and less the further out you go. What's really helped me is something I read on here. "There is no backup. Nobody is coming to save you." It sounds harsh but it's true. Your ex is gone. You've got nobody looking after you now (if she ever actually did to begin with). You have to figure out what you want to…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 07:18 AM
1

Good luck brother and I hope we never see you again!
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 07:08 AM
5

My manhood says I need to stick with her till she gets healthy. Her mental health is not your concern. You can't change her or anything about her no matter how hard you try. The only thing you can control is how you deal with all that.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 07:07 AM
3

Kick ass brother!
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 07:04 AM
1

No advice here, just wanted to say we care about you and want you to stay strong, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 01:01 AM
1

I don't know where you live but see if there is some kind of divorce support group where you live. I start4d going to one when my ex and I were just separated. It really did wonders for me. Even if I'm not talking, just know there are others put there going through it and seeing how the cope was a huge help. I'm not even that upset about my divorce anymore but I still keep going just so I can support my friends. A few of the regulars,self included, have a group text that we use if we have issues…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 12:58 AM
3

I had the day off today and just spent six hours rewiring my entertainment center because I got some new gear. So much better now!
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 12:49 AM
2

Listen to this guy when he says to not do anything more than you're legally required. You're not going to win a medal for best divorce. You've carried this woman enough. It's time for her to carry herself. She's not going to be looking out for you and your best interests so you need to. Take all that time and effort that you used to put into her and the relationship and use it to build yourself into the man you want to be.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/24 02:39 AM
1

You know what you call a nurse who goes to community college and gets their nursing degree there? A nurse. A degree means that you're probably safe enough to not kill people and can go take your boards to get your license. That's it. For the record, I'm a nurse who went to community college to get my degree. I supervise nurses who went to expensive colleges. Honestly, I'd much rather hire someone who went to community college because it shows they're resourceful for spending way less to do the s…
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/24 02:26 AM
4

First thing you do is change the locks.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/24 02:00 AM
5

Every once in a while a woman will post some sort of crap but it's mostly a pretty safe and welcoming place for men. A couple weeks ago I made a post about how things are working out well for me and are going very bad for my ex who cheated and decided to end our marriage. I wasn't trying to brag or anything. It was meant to show some of the new guys here that things can and do get better. I know I loved reading those stories when I first came here. Some lady wa Herr for some reason or another an…
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/24 12:27 AM
3

I never said separated. I'd either say divorced or just about divorced and then crack a joke about it. Lots of folks are divorced and they understand that shit happens.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/24 12:11 AM
4

It wouldn't make a difference in the slightest. What's done has already been done. Do you think a broken glass will go back to be just being just fine if you apologize to it?
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 10:22 PM
0

We are all here because we care about each other. I'm not saying you should care about others. Like I said before, we share our experiences on here, especially when those experiences can keep others from making their same mistakes. But, yeah, your unrealistic expectations are totally reasonable. Everybody I know who is doing what you're hoping to isn't as good at it as you'll be.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 04:24 PM
0

Also, if you doubt me, go to a guitar store this weekend and look at the people in there. Listen to most of the people trying stuff out. Can you play better than most of the people in the store? Those are the people you'll be competing against. Look at the women who are in there with the men. First of all, there won't be many of them. Second, the vast majority of them will look bored or just on their phones. Very few of them are actually very interested and those are the women who are actually w…
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 04:07 PM
1

It's also about setting realistic expectations. Playing music for yourself and even for other people's enjoyment is great and I highly encourage it. No argument there at all. Men on here also share their experiences with each other so they don't make the same mistakes. A middle-aged man expecting to get women because they've played a few years when not working their full time job and expecting to get women is about as realistic as a middle-aged man wearing a toupee and buying a Corvette. I've li…
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 03:57 PM
1

Keep telling yourself that and get back with me in a year or two. I'm going on years of experience with lots of friends who have played anywhere from street corners to stadiums. You have expectations.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 03:45 PM
4

I've been separated almost 2 years now and my divorce was finalized back in August. I've been told the same thing and have only barely even had the desire to act on it. I'm not religious or anything at all. I just don't really have the desire to do stuff like that. I'm too busy working on me and turning myself into the type of man who can get the type of woman that I'd actually want instead of the dud I wasted 20+ years on.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 03:29 PM
0

You're not going to be getting that many women just because you're in a band. It's a fun stereotype to believe in, but it's not real. You're a guy who is probably 30+ who works a day job. Guys like that aren't rock stars. They're normal guys with a hobby that has then interacting with other normal guys. Not only that, but unless you've been playing for hours at a time every single day, you've only been playing 5 years. You probably aren't as good as you think. Even if you do manage to land a gro…
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 03:19 PM
10

You couldn't have figured out the square peg/round hole thing before you got married?
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/24 05:01 AM
3

If she wanted reconciliation and slept withvskmebody else, how would you feel?
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/24 03:54 AM
1

Do you really think that when you die and you're being held accountable for everything you've done that you can really just say "Yes, I knew I shouldn't have planned and tried to rationalize this really big sin being ok for months in advance because you have to forgive me because I said sorry." and Jesus will just be "D'oh, you found the loophole! Come on in, sparkedintolife." Neither God nor Jesus are going to let things slide just because you think you've gamed the system. You're not smarter t…
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/24 10:31 AM
3

The Bible is pretty straightforward on sex outside of marriage. You say you're an evangelical Christian and those folks stick pretty closely to exactly what is clearly written in the Bible. You want to go have sex with women outside of marriage. That is directly going against what you claim to believe. The way I see it, and I'm being as plain, simple, and honest here, is that you have 3 options. Follow the Bible and don't have sex outside of marriage. The good is that you'll have a clean conscio…
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/24 04:34 AM
2

You could always date a younger woman. From what I've heard, women in their 30's and don't have kids have ticking biological clocks. Take advantage of that!
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/24 07:06 AM
3

That's exactly what I'm doing right now. I still get down sometimes but I'm actively working on making my life better and actually had a really good day with that stuff today. Just keep on working to make yourself into the type of man who can pull the type of women you want. I hope you have a good one too, my friend.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/24 05:45 AM
3

You were married 3 years longer than me, your ex makes good money, and you have money saved up for retirement. Other than those 3 facts, our stories are totally interchangeable. You'll be fine.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 06:17 AM
1

My spending has dropped so much since I got divorced that it's amazing. Combine that with the fact that I've got a great new job and I have more money to spend on whatever I want than I have at any other part of my life.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 06:14 AM
7

I haven't really tried yet. I thought there was a thing with a woman I know but nothing ever happened with it. I don't really plan on trying to date until I'm in a good place mentally. I'm making myself into the kind of man who can get the kind of woman that I want. I have some health issues but I've gotten those to the best that I can. Mentally, I'm not good but I'm way better than I was. Much like my physical health, I think that I'm about as good as I can get. Financially, I'm doing great. I'…
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 06:05 AM
7

You probably didn't get divorced because the sex was bad. You got divorced because of your personalities. Why would you want to keep that failure around?
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/24 08:52 PM
7

My ex just drained our savings and racked up massive debt without telling me. We split up on the way home from a road trip we took. I asked if we could afford it before we went and she said we could. The next day, I learned we had a little over $700 to our name. A few weeks later I learned we were over $20,000 in debt.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/24 08:13 PM
5

As for committed people, we also get unhappy from time to time, but hope for better days and we're willing to put the necessary work in to get there. One of my biggest mistakes that I made in my marriage was how I responded when things weren't good between us. She was looking into living arrangements without me and without telling me either. I found out by seeing stuff on our computer. Like an idiot, I fought to keep us together and work through our problems. I wish so much that I would have jus…
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/24 08:08 PM
2

It's benn about a year and a half since even seen my ex and our divorce eas final back in August. I pretty much have two moods anymore; sad and angry. I'm exhausted from living like this but I can't stop. The one thing that helps is that I work a lot and am pretty tired from that. It probably isn't the healtiest approach but it kinda works and it also helps dig me out if the financial hole she left me in.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 04:49 PM
7

Hey brother, there's nothing to be ashamed of. We all get weak like that on hard days. Why wouldn't we? We thought we had something great. We thought we had one big huge chunk of our life set until we get old and die. Now we don't. That really fucking sucks. You're with friends here and you aren't alone.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/24 04:26 AM
8

Thanks for saying this. I never really felt like my ex appreciated me and the things I did for her. Reading this gives me hope for my future.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 01:16 AM
8

I'm on the autism spectrum. A lady I used to work with was showing a new employee around and introduced me to her. In her words, "This is Rhett. He can really come off as an asshole sometimes, but he's not. He just does not understand subtly. Tell him exactly what you need and when and he'll be your best friend in the world." I told my ex about that conversation and even she asked what was wrong with her because she'd been married to me for 20+ years and there was a woman who I worked with who u…
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 12:53 AM
3

5It like waves. At first, they come hard and fast and knock you down. With time, those waves come less often and even when they do, they aren't as strong. Sure, you'll get a few here and there that'll still knock you down but nowhere near often as they used to.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/24 03:06 AM
2

I can understand paying child support if one parent has the kids more than 50% of the time because that parent will have more than 50% of the costs. That being said, if both parents want 50% they should have it unless one parent is deemed unsafe or unable to care for the children.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/24 12:17 AM
2

I doubt she even remembers when it is.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/24 01:52 AM
12

She has 3 kids and is going to school. Any time she spends with you is going to make the other pieces of her life suffer.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/24 01:49 AM
2

Oh, my post mattered so much to you that you decided you wanted some more of this good stuff and went through my other posts to read even more of what I wrote. That's so sweet of you to tell me! I'm flattered. I love you too, buddy!
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 11:36 AM
2

When I said what I did, it had nothing to do with OP's wife. It was entirely about OP. His wife could be the most horrible person in the world, making someone want to leave you is a jerk move and it's also incredibly inefficient. You can be married to the worst person ever but that doesn't mean you have to stoop down to their level. If you're going to fight someone covered in shit, covering yourself in shit isn't going to hurt them any, it's only going to ensure you are thoroughly covered with s…
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 11:30 AM
10

I'm going to tell you something I learned years ago. If you want out of a relationship, you tell the other person and you leave. Making someone want to leave you means you're going to be a jerk. Be better than that. You made a commitment to this woman. I doubt her entire family has drastically changed in a year and a half so you should have known what you were getting into. Regardless of whether you knew or not, you're where you are today. The only thing that matters is where you go from here. Y…
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 07:09 AM
8

Nope, not a whiny bitch at all. You're going through a really tough time. You're among friends who are getting beat up by life when you're here.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 02:10 AM
2

Talk to your doctor. Get a prescription for Prazosin. I used to wake up screaming in the middle of the night. Now I sleep like a baby.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/24 04:28 AM
2

Prazosin, my friend. Talk to your doctor and get s prescription for it. Speaking as someone who would wake up in the night screaming, thar stuff is a miracle.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 09:40 PM
5

No. She ended things. She didn't want me to worry about her anymore, so I don't.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 06:24 AM
4

I know it isn't the same but you've got us to confide in. Also, check around and see if there is a divorce support group available where you live.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/24 06:25 PM
2

It's like you're sick and tired of always coming in last place when it comes to how important you are to her. When she tells the marriage counselor that she'll set aside one night a week for you and you know that'll get dropper in a month or two, that's a such sad feeling. She shouldn't have to make a big deal about giving you one single night a week. That's ridiculous. I say all that stuff from experience.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/24 06:23 PM
1

As someone with way more experience once told me, you're not going to get anything out of divorce that you didn't get while you were married. Basically, if your spouse didn't treat you the way you wanted to be treated when you were married, they definitely aren't going to treat you better now that you're divorced.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/24 04:42 AM
2

If you go into a relationship and it's open from the beginning, sure, that'll work. The problems pop up and almost always ends badly when people go from monogamous to open.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/24 11:07 PM
3

She is destroying your relationship and home life. This person no longer cares about you or your needs. She's not going to have your back, so you need to have your own. Hire a lawyer and do everything you can tonprot4ct yourself and your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/24 02:04 AM
8

Being friends with her is going to kill you. Do you really want to be around when she starts dating again?
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 11:31 PM
3

Was the sex bad? Is that why you're divorcing or is it a personality thing? If it was a personality thing then why would you want to be friends with her? A friend wouldn't rip your life apart like this.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 10:07 PM
6

Because her baby daddy turned out to be a piece of crap (imagine that, the guy who would sleep with a married woman not being a fine human being) and she realizes that's fucked up and also thinks you'll want to take back the trash that took itself out of your house.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 06:07 AM
1

I'm on the spectrum too so I get what you're going through. The first thing that I did that read helped is got a new job. No routines like I was in when my ex was around. I also got one that lets me work a ton of overtime. It keeps me busy, aroud other people, and helps me dig out of the financial hole she left me in. The other thing that I did was get an Amazon Echo and a subscription to their music service. Sitting in a quite house sucks and I don't like the thoughts that come into my head. I …
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 04:45 AM
1

I don't. Like, from the night we split up, I sent her mom a letter but that's it.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 03:08 AM
3

That's cruel not just to you but both of the dogs. They rely non each other and then to separate them like that is terrible.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/24 04:59 AM
10

My ex took the dog too. I miss my dog way more.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/24 04:41 AM
2

It's as every bit as terrifying as it is depressing.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 11:23 PM
3

That means you need to change too. She doesn't care about you now, only herself. Take all that energy and love you put into that relationship and and put it into yourself and rebuilding your life without her. You don't owe her anything. She doesn't have your back anymore so you need to have your own. That was a choice that she made so you need to make the same one.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 10:09 PM
1

Crap!!!!!!! I'm sorry about that. You don't deserve her crap or my lack of typing skills. Sorry brother. As much as people say anger should always be avoided, I've always thought that was a load of crap. While anger anger can certainly cause a lot of problems, it can also be used as fuel to change things that just aren't right. Maybe it's just because I listened to too much Rage Against The Machine when I was younger but anger really can be a gift.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 10:05 PM
4

It comes and goes in waves. The more distance you put between you and all this, the smaller the waves get and they start coming less often too. It's been a little short of 2 years since my ex and I split up and the divorce was final back in August. There are still times where I feel like I'm going to drown from all the sadness. I really do. But I don't feel like it all the time and I feel that way a lot less often than I used to.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 09:52 PM
5

Making sense of it all is pointless and doesn't matter in the least. She's throwing everything away. That's what matters. When you're going on a trip, it doesn't matter how ypu got lost. The only thing that matters is where you go to from here.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 09:44 PM
3

Me too.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 09:40 PM
2

First of all, she's not your wife anymore. Stop calling her that. That's a title that she's thrown away and doesn't deserve to be called anymore. Words are important and you need to use the right ones. Second thing is that it doesn't matter why she is the way she is now. You're where you are. She walked away from the vows that she made and ripped her family up. You don't deserve that. Nobody does. It took me a long time to accept that and once I did, I didn't let her go, I threw her away. You ne…
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 09:38 PM
4

You can miss the woman you married and spent so many years with but she's someone else now and she's not coming back. What I've heard many times on here is that you don't divorce the same person you married.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 09:32 PM
4

I know for damn sure my ex was like that.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 09:29 PM
5

My eating habits have gotten worse, my physical activity has gotten better, and my drinking habit is almost entirely nonexistent except for social situations when I only have a little bit. The two steps forward over power the one step back so I've actually dropped 60 pounds so far.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 07:24 AM
2

I'm sure my ex would tell you how horrible I am if you asked her too. Towards the end, she apologized for my feelings being hurt. She didn't apologize for hurting them or that she had actually done anything wrong, she was just sorry that I was hurt and upset by her actions. I'm sure she'd also tell you how abusive I was. I was at dinner a while back with a couple of platonic women friends and told them about what I'd done. The more vocal friend went off about how ridiculous my ex was for that. I…
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/24 12:30 AM
11

Yeah, I was a controlling asshole because I had a problem with my ex dating someone else when we were married. According to her, it wasn't a date. She was just going and doing stuff that she wouldn't do with me with a guy from work that she said had a thing for her, wouldn't let me come too, would lie about what all they were doing, and would say she needed quiet alone time at night so she could go on walks by herself..... and call him. I'm such a mean jerk!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 08:09 PM
10

Who knows and who cares? Delete that shit and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 08:05 PM
2

Ugh, my ex hated hanging out with my friends and their wives because they were successful and that made her feel uncomfortable. They were always nothing but nice to her, welcomed us both into their homes, and not once did they ever do a single thing to put her down or make her feel less than them. If anyone should have been uncomfortable, it should have been me because one of them was my boss" boss. Heaven forbid if I ever tried to get her to come get a drink with us when everyone else was there…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 07:49 PM
11

None but that's only because there was nothing left to lose.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/24 08:55 PM
5

My wedding was great and all that but I really remember the honeymoon. We went to the beach the next day and got there on the Fourth of July. We got to our hotel just as the fireworks were starting to shoot off from a boat on the ocean. We both ended up running onto the beach and then into the ocean to watch them there. I remember holding on to her and thinking how great the world was. Not only was it the start of a great vacation, but it was the start of the rest of my life with this woman that…
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/24 12:27 AM
2

Wow, thanks for telling the deaf guy to get hearing aids. Bet that thought never crossed his mind. Hearing aids don't work for everyone with hearing problems. Some types of hearing loss can't be fixed with hearing aids or even implants. Good idea and filing first though.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/24 11:53 PM
3

First of all, I'm sorry you're going through this. You've come to a good place to get support. I know we're 2 different people but here's what I did. First of all, I'm a nurse. I haven't always been one. When I was a younger man, I was a computer network engineer. I won't get into all the details but I was good enough that I worked at pretty high levels. If you don't know networking, it's hard to even explain what I actually did. I liked it and was good at it. Then my wife got sick. She had an i…
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/24 07:56 AM
3

I'll have to check those guys out.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 09:17 AM
7

As hard as it is, you listen to her. Leave her alone. She may figure put how badly she's screwed up but she may not. Either way, you deserve someone who wants to be with you and she doesn't. I know how much that sucks, trust me. You're with a whole group of men who understand. It's the best group that none of us ever wanted to join.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 09:15 AM
2

I got a new job that lets me work a lot of overtime. Keeps me put of the house, arp8nd other people, and I'm too tired to be sad when I am home. It helps rebuild the finances that take such a massive hit from divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 04:01 AM
7

As I've read on here many times, you don't divorce the same woman you married.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 03:27 AM
2

I got a new job that lets me work a ton of overtime. It keeps me busy, out of the house, around other people, too tired when I am home to be sad, and is helping rebuild my post divorce finances. Not only that but I actually really like what I do and it's an incredibly fulfilling job.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 09:41 AM
2

Wtf is wrong with the sub today? Between the assholes in this post and one of my ex's friends stalking me and talking shit, it's a wreck on here.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 09:33 AM
3

In a nutshell, I'm a horrible person and father because I did something for myself instead of doing everything I can to repay my son for supporting me after the divorce when I couldn't keep a job because of the severe depression caused by the divorce from my lying and cheating ex. Between therapy and medications I've been able to stay employed for a few months and wanted to do something nice for myself for the first time in a couple of years to celebrate that I never could have been able to do b…
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 09:05 AM
3

Biggest mistake of my life and I once tried to pet an alligator at the zoo.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 08:57 AM
6

I go to a really great divorce support group every Sunday evening. The guy who runs things was talking about how important it is for everyone to share their stories because the more we hear them, the more we realize how much we have un common with each other. We may feel more alone than ever but we don't have to because there are so many other people going through the same things that we are.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 08:55 AM
9

A week or two ago, one of her friends was following me on here acting like my brother-in-law and said my estranged dad had died. Another one of them would make comments on this sub saying I deserved to be cheated on and left. Yeah, I come on here and complain about my ex but it's not like my friends and I follow her around on social media being mean to her. On the bright side, any time I feel like I miss having her around, it's nice to have reminders of why I don't want to be around that drama a…
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 01:54 AM
3

Ok, so I didn't actually buy it. I considered it and almost did but didn't. I was trying to be supportive of the guys on here and tell them things get better. Sue me. And yes, I totally did sit around eating Oreos and playing video games for months while my kid supported me. Severe depression is a bitch. I actually did get numerous jobs during that time. I tried to keep them but just couldn't. Thankfully, between therapy and the right mix of medications, I've been able to for a few months now. I…
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 12:23 AM
5

I like my guitars. When I was married, it was a huge deal for me to buy a semi-decent one. Between having to justify spending that much money to even having that much money, it was difficult. I went to a guitar store last night and bought one that was over twice what I'd ever paid before on a whim. It only made a dent in my checking account. I love my nice new Martin! It's amazing what you can buy when you're not eating out at nice restaurants and blowing money at the Goodwill all the time. Also…
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/24 08:50 PM
5

I would totally remarry and hope to come day. If I could stay married for that long to that loser then my next one should be way better. Knowing what I know now, would I do it again? Well, it made my kids and they're pretty awesome. Other than that, oh God no. I hate thinking about how much of my life I wasted with that woman and all that I gave up to try to make things work with her. She got the best years of my life. I could have done so much more with my life but instead I wasted it on her.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 09:13 AM
4

That's just awesome. Enjoy your investment my friend!
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 02:23 AM
2

Ugh, everybody and their uncle is a narcissist these days. It like if you ever want something for yourself at all or you don't constantly put whatever person before you at all times then it's because you're a mean old narcissist. I swear, I'm going to invent a divorce buzzword bingo. Narcissist. Gas lightning. Controlling. They're just a friend. I want this to be easy and amicable (so just give me everything I want).
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 04:46 AM
1

Just a heads up, if she knows your reddit username then her or her friends are probably following you on here. I know I've been stalked on here.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 11:12 PM
7

If the divorce isn't finalized then I don't think it's exactly legal for her to be getting remarried quite yet.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 09:10 PM
8

What do you do? Show her the door and wish her well. Even if she does stay, you're going to have that threat of divorce hanging over you for the rest of your life. Stop having sex with her and count your blessings that you've only wasted a few years with this woman who obviously either doesn't value you or is too unstable to be in a long term committed relationship with. You've lost enough with her so stop before you lose even more.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 05:43 PM
4

Maybe you could get a second job? Even if things did end well, building up your bank account is always a good thing even if you do just go blow it on crap you don't need.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 04:17 AM
4

Get a job that lets you work a ton of overtime. That way, you're out of the house and probably around other people, you'll be rebuilding your finances which you probably need to do after a divorce, and when you are home alone, you're too tired to think about it and will just want to sleep. That's what I do anyway. I'm thinking of getting a roommate too just to have another body in there and help pay the bills.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 04:04 AM
8

Yep. I really liked being married but I'm definitely going to be a lot pickier this time. Just because my ex sucks, that doesn't mean all women do.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 08:18 PM
6

Regardless of who files first, lawyer up now so you're not scrambling when she does file. Also, no fault divorces are so ridiculous. Try to get your wife to work and pay an equal amount of the bills but she refuses so ypu have to pay for everything, she cheats on you, and then you have to give her half of everything? That's some BS right there.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/24 03:27 AM
6

RA?
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/24 07:54 AM
24

Hey, remember to never get married again.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/24 05:40 PM
22

When you realize that the people that believe her crap aren't people you want in your life anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/24 12:05 AM
4

A few years back I wanted to take a paid afternoon off so I could go to a minor league baseball game dowtown that cost under $20 to get into. If I would have done that, I wouldn't get overtime that week and we needed the money. Apparently, there was more than enough money for her to take the kids to an amusement park in another city and pay for all of them and her friend to get in while I was at work and she didn't even have a job.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 08:11 PM
2

Yeah, she was annoyed with me because I was going through a rough patch and she had to work to help pay the bills so she cheats on me with a guy who works part-time temp jobs. I was working part-time as an RN. I went full-time somewhere else and am making almost double what we made combined back then.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 08:02 PM
1

That's a power move right there.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 07:56 PM
6

Dude, my ex was cheating on me with a guy in his 40's who lived with his parents and believes dinosaurs were on Noah's ark.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 07:55 PM
3

A year and half. It I haven't really been looking. I had a chance for a physical fling last spring, but even though we were separated, I was still technically married, so it just didn't feel right to I passed on it. There were a few other women that i thought "maybe" but nothing ever ended up happening.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 07:01 PM
9

Talk to home about this, not us.
/r/Divorce_Men29/02/24 01:53 AM
2

You get revenge by letting the skank be a skank. All these guys she's dating? None of them love her. She gave that up with you for something empty and unfulfilling. You let her have what she wanted because she didn't want what was best - you. My ex-wife cheated on me with a guy she worked with and lied to me for weeks and weeks about it. She would have continued too but she was too dumb to be good at it and I found out by accident. The woman threw away a 23 year marriage and 24 year relationship…
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 07:09 PM
6

It goes away, then it comes back, then it goes away again. It keeps doing this but the sad times last shorter and shorter periods of time while also coming less and less. It's only been about 18 months for me but I know that I feel sad less and less and time goes on. Also, don't surprised if sadness gets replaced with anger as you go on. I know it did for me. I may not like being angry but I at least view it as progress because she's not up on that pedestal that I put her on anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 06:49 PM
7

It goes away, then it comes back, then it goes away again. It keeps doing this but the sad times last shorter and shorter periods of time while also coming less and less. It's only been about 18 months for me but I know that I feel sad less and less and time goes on. Also, don't surprised if sadness gets replaced with anger as you go on. I know it did for me. I may not like being angry but I at least view it as progress because she's not up on that pedestal that I put her on anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 06:49 PM
19

If you've grown out of love then you need to work on growing ba k into it. When you got married, you promised to love this woman through good times and bad. Things might be bad right now so instead of giving up and walking away (and tearing your hoke apart) do what you need to do to make it good again.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 10:28 AM
2

How do you weed them out? Talk to them. They'll be happy to tell you if their ex was cheating if that's what happened. If they go on about him not fulfilling her needs, he was holding her back from happiness, he was controlling, or any other crap like that, then pass on her and move on to a good one.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 12:37 AM
2

I've played enough to know that I shouldn't play.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 11:57 PM
0

The majority of them. Does it matter though? Even if 100% of divorces are initiated by women, that still means that half the women that get married are good enough to stay married to. Let say that women initiate 75% of divorces. 75% of 50% is 37.5% of the total women who get married. You can't trash an entire group of people because a little more than a third of them are pieces of shit. Don't get me wrong. 100% of the women that I've married have cheating pieces of shit. That just means I picked…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 11:53 PM
1

Dude, come on. You're sinking to their level. Yes, 50% of marriages end in divorce but that also means that 50% of women are good enough to stay married to. You can't knock the good ones just because of the bad ones. Be better than this.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 10:11 PM
2

Hey, you can't trash women just because they're single moms. There are a lot of single moms out there who are single because their husbands were cheating pieces of shit. Those women often did nothing to deserve that. Even if things are bad at home and the marriage isn't salvageable, cheaters suck regardless of their gender and people shouldn't be judged if that happens to them. Stuff like that is why we have to work to make ourselves into better men so we can attract the better women who don't n…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 10:06 PM
18

If you do that, then you're just as big a piece of shit as them. Be better.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 09:59 PM
1

And your husband wanted you to get all these degrees?
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 04:51 PM
1

Deleting anything counts.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 04:48 PM
1

Also, did he ever say that he wanted better? I'm guessing he just wanted the woman he married. For that matter, if you want to be a nurse, you don't need two masters degrees to do so. Even nurse practitioners only need one. To be a nurse you only need an ASN, at most a BSN for some hospitals. Going above and beyond that is all you. Seeing as how you've also said you're a new nurse, I'm going to guess that you're not a nurse practitioner. If you talk about having 2 degrees, you'd probably also me…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 03:57 PM
1

Well he's a piece of shit for cheating. As multiple men have been told on here, just because your spouse cheats, that doesn't make it ok for you to do the same. If someone is covered in shit, covering yourself in shit just means you're covered in shit as well. It doesn't punish them, it just means you lose the moral high ground. I deleted the post. Deleting or changing your comments doesn't help you either. In fact, it only makes you look worse. People have already read them and you can't take w…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 03:44 PM
1

You wanted the divorce, slept with someone else while you were separated, and now you want to get back together now that he's found someone that has much less drama. Those are games that your ex doesn't want to play. You came onto a sub that is for men to talk about men's problems and asked for men's perspective on your failed marriage. Our collective perspective is that you fucked things up beyond repair and we find that shameful.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 03:32 PM
1

Yep. That would be nice wouldn't it? Maybe you can learn a lesson or two from this for your next relationship because it sounds like your ex (and ex is what he is now) has learned a few things for his next.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 03:19 PM
2

As much as you may think that is true, it really is. I'm guessing your husband often gave you things that you wanted. You wanted this. He gave it to you. Now that he has, he's free to move on with his life and do whatever he likes including seeing someone who doesn't play these games.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 03:17 PM
2

But you can't. Time only goes forward and so should you.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 03:13 PM
9

Tell her to go file then.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/24 01:39 AM
2

Lucky is relative. You can get a home equity loan for $50,000 and only have to pay an increased rate on that. It totally sucks that you have to do that and there is no valid argument that makes giving her that money ok. It's just not as bad as having to give her $50,000 AND having refinance which would add an extra $700 a month to your bill.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 11:08 PM
2

Forget everything I've said in my other posts. I thought her name was on the mortgage too. You're a damn lucky man. I'd do everything I could to stay there because interest rates have gone up quite a bit which would make anything else a lot more expensive.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 10:53 PM
1

He'll have to totally refinance his loan to get her off of everything even if he had the entire $50,00] in cash. Rates have gone up a lot in the last 5 years. This is going to be expensive for him.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 10:51 PM
7

So you're not going to like this post but this is what I learned when I was in the same position with my ex. I've talked to multiple lenders about this and every single one of them have told me the same things. I'm sorry about this. If you're going to keep the house and get her off the loan and title then you're going to have to get an entirely new loan. Even if you had $50,000 in cash, you'll still have to refinance to get her name off of everything. Interest rates have gone up quite a bit in t…
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 10:49 PM
7

Got a new job that lets me get tons of overtime. Keeps me out of the house, gets me around other people, makes it so I don't have time to sit around and be sad, and all the OT is letting me dig out of the divorce financial hole.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 06:24 AM
6

My income has literally doubled since she left 🤙🏻🤙🏻 I was working part time at a decent job when we split up but I still made more than her working full time. A year or two and a couple of jobs later and I'm working a decent amount of overtime at a job that pays more than 50% more than my old one before I get that time and a half. I literally bring home more than our combined checks were before taxes. My income has more than tripled. Last I heard, she's still working the same job for the same pa…
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 03:09 AM
1

You could still change companies.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 07:49 PM
3

I know, right?
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 05:33 AM
5

I believe her term was "controlling asshole" because I didn't like the fact that she was dating someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 04:37 AM
7

The closest I ever got to an apology for anything at all was that she's sorry that I'm upset. Nothing at all about causing me to be upset because she's ditching me to go out and do stuff with a guy she worked with. God I can't believe how much of my life I wasted with that woman. So many things I gave up and denied for her and our kids and that's what I get for it. Well, that and thousands of dollars in debt that I never knew about until I got the financial disclosure forms.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 04:19 AM
8

Yep. Once she cheated on you, anything involving her became not your problem.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 11:19 PM
1

Don't listen to this person, OP. Be a better person than her. Sleeping with someone else because your spouse did is like covering yourself with pig shit so you can make things equal to your wife who has already covered herself. You're better than that!
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 05:52 PM
2

Even if she didn't physically fuck him, that just means she couldn't because he was too far away. If she could justify doing what she did to you once because things haven't been good, what's going to happen the next time things aren't good?
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 05:49 PM
11

You're not leaving her. She's left you. You're just going along with what she wants.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 03:17 AM
10

Don't beg her to stay. It won't work and you'll just hate yourself for being so weak. Also, she filed for divorce. She doesn't want to be a couple anymore. You pay for everything. She needs to go live somewhere else. It doesn't matter where. She just needs to be gone. I still kick myself for how long I paid bills for my ex after she filed. Such an incredible waste of money. Your only responsibility now is to yourself and your kids. Not her.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 03:07 AM
3

There may very well be the one for you. The thing is, there's also the next one and the one after that. If she's already dating someone else, she's not your one. You deserve better than that.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 11:17 PM
4

That's all you can do. She got what she wanted so she doesn't get to complain about it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 10:29 PM
1

If he's so perfect, he'll move to be with her.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 10:14 PM
1

I've been going to one of those groups for well over a year. What do you mean redirect it? I
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 03:03 PM
3

focusing on rational decisions and prioritizing your long-term well-being can lead to a more favorable outcome Yeah, but if those rational decisions that prioritize your long-term well-being also screw her over, that's just an added bonus. I don't let my anger guide my decisions anymore (I did at first). That being said, I really need to find better ways of dealing with it. I'm just so tired of feeling so angry all the time. I know it only hurts me but I can't drop it even though I want to.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 09:33 AM
5

Wow, I don't know how she ever put up with that!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 09:23 PM
3

You left out controlling asshole. I got that because she was going out doing stuff with this guy from work that she wouldn't do with me and I got upset about that.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 06:36 PM
1

You're welcome, my friend. Now I just need to listen to them too.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 03:03 PM
5

So I'm copying part of one of my earlier posts but only because I can't think of anything better tonsay here. Hey man, I know you say you still love her, but you don't. You're in love with who you thought she was. She's not that woman anymore. She may have never been. Don't beat yourself up chasing something that doesn't exist.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 05:28 AM
2

You act like I do pretty much anything at all in my life other than work so I can stay busy and not focus on how much I hate my life. Weekends suck because I'm off and I pulled almost 60 hours this week.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 02:13 AM
7

I honestly don't believe that. There are many good women out there who are every bit as loving and dedicated as any man. I've known them and seen how they care for their spouse for their entire life. It just sucks that the woman I chose wasn't one of them.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 02:06 AM
14

Hey man, I know you say you still love her, but you don't. You're in love with who you thought she was. She's not that woman anymore. She may have never been. Don't beat yourself up chasing something that doesn't exist. I get just exactly how fucking hard that is and how hard it is to accept but it's the truth. I fight with it all the time, too. You spend so much time working to build something with this person that you love with your entire being. You'd happily give your life for her without ev…
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 12:57 AM
4

I couldn't care less if you are gay or straight, the last thing the majority of us want to read is someone wanting to be our next bad decision.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 06:29 AM
2

They want all of the accumulated assets, none of the debts and for you to turn over your future paychecks I was dealing with some pretty serious depression when we were divorcing so my ex didn't even bother trying to get any support, probably because she didn't want to me to come after her checks. Joke's on her though. I got counseling. Got on meds and got them straightened out. Got a new job making more than we ever did combined and she doesn't get a cent. Haha!
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 03:29 AM
2

2 year associate degree for nursing school so I could be an RN. Worked a few years on the floor at a dialysis center, did some home health where they needed somebody to do a couple admissions one day so I volunteered. I was good at it so I started doing it full time. Did it for a few months but the hours were less than full time. Went back to dialysis for a while and then found this place who wanted someone to come in and do admissions on second shift. The position was considered management and …
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 02:11 AM
1

A long-term care/rehabilitation facility as a nurse manager. I come in at 3pm and stay until I go home. I can go home as long as all the paperwork for any admissions that day is done but I can also stick around and just be in the building doing nothing for as long as I want because I'm a manager and if I'm here then the other managers don't have to be on call for when stuff goes south at 2am. I'm taking a break to play on my phone a little bit right now. Later on, after I finish my actual work a…
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 01:43 AM
3

Same thing I do almost every day - going to work and pulling in lots of overtime.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 01:04 AM
13

So, basically, what you're telling us is that your company wants to send you to resort in Costa Rica, for free, where there will probably be other single women who will be looking for a fling while they're on vacation. You may be around happily paired off couples but here's your chance to go enjoy the sun and maybe do a little bit of pairing off of your own.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 10:57 PM
3

That's awesome!!!! Congrats!
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 07:18 PM
2

Don't sit around the house feeling sad all the time. Get a job that let's you work tons of overtime. It'll get you out of the house, you won't have time to be sad, and you'll be making good money that I'm sure you'll need to help rebuild your life.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 12:29 PM
15

It doesn't matter what she wants. She's your ex-wife, not your current one. Tell her to go talk to her girlfriends about this great new guy. If she doesn't stop trying to tell you about him, just go totally no contact unless it's about your kid. Sure, some people are friends with their exes but that doesn't mean that you have to be. Drawing that hard and fast boundary is perfectly within your rights.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 04:44 AM
6

I didn't stay friends with my ex. I've only talked to her a few times since she's filed and that was just about her getting stuff out of the house.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 10:49 PM
5

Dude. Let her go and be thankful she left early. People who blame their unhappiness on others will never be happy because they aren't doing it for themselves. Also, speaking from experience, stop hitting the bottle so much. That will keep you exhausted.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 02:06 PM
1

Man, we weren't even separated when my ex started her emotional affair. Much like your ex, she got mad at me for going through her phone even though she went through mine to see what I'd said about her to other people and got mad at me for it. On top of that, she went through it with my son which turned him against me too. Also, you're a good man for taking care of a type 1 like that. I'm type 1, too. I take a lot better care of myself than she does but I've had to have people help me put a few …
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 07:58 AM
5

I honestly think it's because people believe in their selves too much. My ex was always one of those people who said she'd never cheat and never had any desire to. She was also someone who thought it was just fine to do whatever you want, regardless of how your partner felt about it. She started doing stuff alone with this single loser that she worked with and purposely excluded me. I had problems with that, but she thought it was fine. She'd also go do stuff with him that she wouldn't donwith m…
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 07:45 AM
4

Sorry to hear that, brother. If there's one thing I've learned from being on this sub for over a year now, it's how incredibly common our stories are. I fucking hate how unalone I am with this.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 06:19 AM
5

Pretty sure you should be fine. Also, for other men reading this, get your shit settled while she's still with the other guy. I had hit a rough patch when we were still together and I wasn't making very much. She had to work to help pay the bills which annoyed her. She jumped ship to a guy that worked the same part time temp job that she did. As far as I know, they're still opening letters for the IRS when they're needed and building cardboard boxes in a warehouse when they aren't. I got my stuf…
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 02:20 AM
4

Yeah, my ex went on about how scary I was because I'd get upset about her having an emotional affair with a guy at work. I'm a damn nurse. Years ago, she got breast cancer and also got a really nasty life-threatening infection that nearly killed her. I did all that I could to take care of her during that time (enough that even her friends and family went on about how lucky she was to have me) but it still didn't feel like it was enough to me so I gave up a really successful career as an engineer…
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 01:51 AM
13

Honestly, I don't really know how to answer your question. Getting divorced sucks. You do everything you can to care and provide for your family. You pass up plenty of opportunities with numerous women who are way more of a catch than your now ex and you do so happily because you love her and want to honor your vows. You build the life that she wants even if it means giving up on what you want. You stand by her during all of her bad times and don't think twice about it. Then she nukes it all and…
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 01:29 AM
5

I haven't gone for round two yet but I'd definitely be up for it if I can find the right woman. I liked being married. I couldn't care less about the freedom that people are always talking about. Not all women suck. My ex did but at least I know what to look out for with the next woman.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 08:00 PM
3

That's why I'm taking time to just focus on me right now so I can make myself into a better man. I'm not settling for someone like my ex. I deserve better than that. I'm making myself into a man that can get the type of woman I deserve. I can only do so much physically because of health issues that I've got. I haven't been at my new job for very long yet but I love where I work and what I do. I'm also surprisingly good at it. The pay is way more than I've ever made in my life, so as long as I ca…
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 08:53 AM
7

Long enough to meet a new guy at work at least.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 07:23 AM
6

Yeah, sometimes they turn into complete crap.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 07:20 AM
18

Now why would she go and do something like that? She never did anything wrong. /s
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 07:15 AM
8

I loved it to after 24 years.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 03:31 AM
3

It's one thing if they're reading. It's another if they're posting. It's really something different if they're trying to argue with you on here. One of my ex's friends actually stalked me on here and started making rude comments to my posts. Apparently she had nothing better to do with her time. It was pretty easy to figure out who it was by looking at her post history. I called her out on it, and she got banned real quick.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 11:29 PM
10

If I wanted women's perspective on this stuff, I'd post in the divorce sub. I don't. I post here in the group specifically for men. Safe knowing my Ex is not lurking or checking what I post. One of my ex's friends used to stalk me on here and even made rude comments about something I said one time. She got banned pretty quick for that and I wasn't even the one that reported her.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 11:20 PM
2

I hope you do too my friend.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 09:41 PM
5

Yeah, my dog wasn't a lying and cheating piece of crap. She was actually really sweet.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 06:41 PM
3

Work on rebuilding yourself first. I'm not one of those guys who says to never get serious with another woman again just because I honestly do believe that there are really good women out there who won't do me like my ex did. I want to find one of them too. The issue is that I know that, unless I work on making myself a good man, a good woman wouldn't want me. I'm getting a lot closer, but I'm not quite there yet because I've still got a few things I need to work out. My goal is to make myself i…
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 08:04 AM
3

Brother, it is disturbing how much I related to your post. The complaints about "walls of text", the emotional cheating, the massive lies about finances, the working on yourself and it does nothing for her. The biggest difference is that I didn't get a text message from her ending things, I got an email. Can I offer you a piece of advice about something? She showed you where she cut off the other guy and then had an open phone policy with you. That doesn't mean a thing. My ex did the same damn t…
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 07:38 AM
1

I go to a Divorce Recovery group every Sunday night which really helps. There are a few of us that have a group text going so we can vent or get support whenever we need it. Beyond that, I work a ton of hours so that keeps me too busy to spend much time in my head. I'm actually at work right now!
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 06:35 AM
3

That would be hilarious but I doubt it. I'd been with my ex for 24 years when she shattered everything.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 04:17 AM
9

The only problem with that is I never had any desire to redesign my life. I worked hard to make my life into something I really loved. Now I have start all over again and I'm 45. I'm getting to the age where I was supposed to really start enjoying the fruits of all the hard work that I'd done over the past 25 years. So much of my life was spent putting off enjoyment today so that I could build a better future for my family. Now that future has been fucking shattered.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 04:12 AM
2

Your daughter will always need you, my friend. You're her father. That's something no one else will ever be able to be. Also, of course you need your daughter. She's a piece of you and there's nothing wrong with that.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 04:06 AM
2

It's just one other thing I never thought I'd have to worry about in my life. If our wives had been decent human beings we wouldn't have to worry about those statistics
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 04:03 AM
2

In a perfect world we wouldn't even have to deal with this shit because our wives would have been better people.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 04:01 AM
6

Not in a mixed race marriage or anything but apparently "For better and worse, in sickness and health, until death do us part" meant something different to her than it did to me. I took it to mean that, even when I was seriously unhappy, I fought for marriage to make it better. For her, it meant until she decided she liked some loser that she worked with better and was unhappy because I had a problem with it. I can't believe I wasted so much of my life on that woman. I would love to get married …
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 03:59 AM
3

So does she.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 04:59 PM
5

Same. I loved my wife and loved being married. Unfortunately, she loved some guy she worked with.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 11:57 PM
5

"I don't feel like Satan but I am to them so I try to forget any way I can." Can't gonwrong with Neil Young. That being said, your wife sucks and so does that whole damn cult. You're a good man for doing g what you have to do so your kids don't have to endure that. (former JW here)
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 04:57 AM
3

I heard a song lyric Saturday, "You're not mine to die for anymore so I must live." I finished getting dressed and headed over to my lady friend's house. I don't think she feels as much as I do but, holy crap, she's so much more amazing than my ex-wife. It's not even funny. Taller, prettier, funnier, way more successful, so damn creative.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 04:15 AM
3

As far as I know my ex hasn't changed it. Honestly, I don't even like the name but it bugs me that she still uses it. She's not a part of my shitty family anymore, go back to her own.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 08:30 PM
6

I bounced around from job to job for a year or two after we split up but could never keep one for very long amd kept.getting fired. I got my antidepressant medications straightened out. I also got on testosterone replacement therapy which was a huge help. I was lucky enough to find a management job in my field at a company full of really nice people that requires a lot of long hours. Now that I've got something that keeps me busy a lot I'm not at home sitting around sad and alone. My coworkers a…
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 01:16 AM
1

I really hope you're wrong about the 1/3 recovery time. I was married 23 years and I don't want to keep having sad spells until I'm well into my 50's.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 12:13 AM
1

I was married 23 years. I'm about a year and a half from when we split up and half a year since the divorce was final. I haven't seen her in over a year. It definitely gets better. Then it's goes back to bad. Then it goes back to better. It just keeps going back and forth. Thankfully, the good spells start lasting longer and the bad ones aren't around for as long.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 12:11 AM
4

Once they start talking about divorce thr best thing you can do is tell her to just leave. Don't fight her for it at all. I wish so much I would have just kicked my ex to the curb when she brought it up.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 09:34 PM
1

Got a new job and work a ton of hours. I actually really like that I do so I might as well stay busy and make some cash.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 06:04 PM
7

I go back and forth between anger and sadness. It's mostly anger.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 11:55 PM
4

It doesn't matter. She's gone and all that stuff is in the past. It's much better to focus on what you have to look forward to.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 07:10 PM
14

Yeah, that wasn't a cop calling you. That was someone who was friends with your wife.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 07:06 PM
6

Not gonna, it's been awesome.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 02:39 AM
6

Even if you have kids, once they're grown, you never really have to see your ex anymore. I haven't seen mine in over a year.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 12:47 AM
2

I started dating my ex at 19 and turned 21 on my honeymoon. I was 43 when I found out she was cheating on me. When she left. That was the first time I've ever lived alone. I'm not going to lie, I hate it. Luckily I've got a job now that gives me tons of overtime.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 12:46 AM
5

I'm an atheist leaning agnostic so I don't really believe in god.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 01:19 PM
3

Maybe see if your job could give you more hours or pick up a side job doing the same thing somewhere else? I just got a new job that gives me a ton of overtime and I love it. I need the money to rebuild and it keeps me busy instead of sitting at home on my butt all day.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 02:49 AM
8

Hell no.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 08:36 PM
8

Knowing that bag of crap is someone else's problem now.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 06:23 PM
7

She always hated any kind of confrontation with anybody but me. Heaven forbid she upset someone she barely knows, but anytime we disagree about anything and all of a sudden, she's Miss String Independent Woman.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 07:32 PM
2

Why be mad at him? He's not the one that cheated on you. Be thankful that he showed you what a train wreck your ex is. Besides, he's the one stuck with that bag of crazy now.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 03:09 AM
16

The biggest problem that ended my marriage was my wife being a lying cheater. Don't be like her.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 10:57 PM
5

I don't know. I'm 45 now. I haven't been single since I was a teenager and have never lived alone until yesterday when my older son moved out. In my early 20s, we moved over 100 miles away to a new city and between wife, kids, and work, I never really had the time or desire to make new friends. Now all I have is work.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 05:06 AM
2

If you're not on the hook for it then forget it. It's her problem.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/24 02:41 PM
5

What good could possibly come from it?
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/24 08:21 AM
11

This is why you stay off social media, my friend. There is no good that could possibly come from it. I keep my old Facebook only because of fun pictures with friends in the past and to use Messenger to keep in touch with my best friend.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/24 07:27 AM
5

What kind of car is she? You don't tell stories about your ride without even saying what she is!
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/24 07:14 AM
7

Define date. Have an emotional connection and try to build a long-term relationship? You're not there mentally. Give it a year or so. 3 way with 2 models where you wonder if you'll die of dehydration? Have fun, but keep it quiet.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/24 07:22 PM
6

You want to talk crazy social media stalking? One of my ex's friends has commented on my post in this sub before. The friend is a woman and was just on here to read my posts. Thankfully the mod banned her.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 05:36 AM
1

I used to feel like I was cheating, but I got over that with time. We aren't getting back together and it's because she's a lying cheater. If she can move on while we're still together then I certainly can when we're done.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 05:28 AM
2

Foreclosure or not, if you do that, then his credit will take a hit for nonpayment.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 05:59 PM
5

My ex's AP looks like a real life Ned Flanders and thinks dinosaurs were on Noah's ark. I have no clue if they're still together but I'm hoping they are.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 04:00 PM
1

I bought a few chunks of different meteorites to add to the collection.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/24 02:42 PM
5

I avoid social media like the plague around any holidays at all.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/24 07:11 AM
9

You're trying because you're a decent guy and your marriage vows actually mean something to you. It's a damn shame the same can't be said of your cheating wife. You deserve better than that.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 08:27 PM
2

During one of the last arguments we had last year in 2023 she said that ivalways act like I'm smarter than her. I asked when did I do that. She said that after we took a test in a class we were both in and I got a better grade on I told her "Well, looks like I'm the smarter one in the family." First of all, even if I did say that, it was just a dumb joke and I didn't mean it. We'd both joke about how I just had a knack for that class but could be so dumb in the other class we had together. Secon…
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/23 04:17 PM
8

I hear you on being the bad guy in her eyes. My ex was a lying cheater and I'm the asshole because I got mad about it.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/23 07:28 AM
1

Life ruiner
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 08:34 PM
11

You don't deal with her family. There is no salvaging your relationship or reputation with them. Save yourself the headache and don't even try.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 12:00 AM
7

It feels like she threw you two away because that's exactly what she did. As or being friends with your ex, don't. I doubt many of us split up with our wives because the sex was bad. We split up because we couldn't get along. That's only going to get worse with a divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 11:42 PM
2

Hang in there, brother. You're with friends who understand you here.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 02:39 AM
6

There are days I'll go to Taco Bell and buy a couple bags of burritos. After that, I go to the homeless camps around town and pass them put. It always feels good knowing that some people got a warm meal because of you.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 06:46 AM
3

If you continue having bad dreams you should talk to your doctor about gett8ng on Prazosin. It's a blood pressure drug that has the rather nice side effect of preventing nightmares. I've had nightmares on a fairly regular basis my entire life. I got started on that med and very rarely have bad dreams anymore. Even if I do, they aren't as bad as they used to be. I don't even know how long it's been since I last woke up screaming.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 06:23 AM
2

Ah, yes, angry and controlling. I got those too. I will fully admit to them as well. I do get angry when people lie and exclude me from things. I do want to control how much you do with this person you've been lying to me about. Much like you, I could tell at least some of the times she was lying to me. I may have been dumb enough to fall for some of them, but I could still tell something was up with this guy that she wasn't telling me about.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 07:37 PM
3

Just because 2 people don't have sex doesn't mean they didn't cheat. What you and I went through is the very definition of an emotional affair and those can be even worse. A one night stand is an incredibly dumb lack of judgment in the moment. An emotional affair is a conscious decision making many choices over time. Each time they lie or don't tell you the whole truth, it chips away at the relationship they have with you. It's consistently putting the relationship with that other person ahead o…
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 07:17 PM
2

Sorry to hear about that, my friend. My wife made a new "friend" at work too. She kept stuff from me as soon as they started hanging out. Eventually found out she was lying about times she said she was going out to get some alone time. That's why she. is now my ex-wife My best friend is a woman that I was friends with before I started dating my ex. I never hid a thing about her from my ex. I invited my ex to everything I ever did with my friend. Even if my ex wasn't there, she knew exactly what …
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 06:50 PM
5

It's entirely possible. I'm a man and my best friend is a woman and we are TOTALLY platonic. That being said, if you're in a relationship, especially if you're married, you put your partner first. Always. You don't hide, leave out, or lie about anything with your partner. You don't do something with your friend that you wouldn't do with your partner. Unless there is something that your friend really just wants to talk to their friend about personal stuff they don't feel comfortable talking about…
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 06:34 PM
2

I just use this sub. Everyone here is here for the same reason and there are a bunch of really great men that are happy b to support you.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 02:53 PM
1

Not just breakfast, that covers all my meals and snacks. I eat mostly breakfast food all day. Seriously, my eating habits are weird. Sizes of bowls? I don't really know of a good way to describe them, sorry. Skillet came from IKEA and was just a few dollars.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 07:14 AM
6

My tastes are pretty bland, and I eat the same thing almost every day. Here's what I need. 3 bowls of different sizes. 1 for oatmeal, 1 for cereal, 1 for mixing scrambled eggs. A cup to drink out of. A spoon, fork, and knife. A plate. A spatula and skillet. A big container of salt and a salt shaker. Cooking spray for skillet. Brown sugar and large container to keep it in. Microwave and stove top. Wash your dishes off after each meal, and it only takes a minute or 2. For me, at least, that's all …
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 07:04 AM
8

It doesn't sound like you still love her. It sounds like you love the relationship that you had and being a good dad/husband. Even if you got back together with her tonight, it wouldn't be the way that it was a year or two ago. That whole dynamic is gone. Sorry, friend.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 05:20 AM
2

I loved being married. Sure, I can do whatever I want now but I really didn't mind compromising with her. Life was definitely less boring back then. We were together 24 years and married 23 when she left. I was as happy as I could be with her and I thought she felt the same. Turns out she felt that way for a guy she worked with too. I don't really get sad anymore. At least not much. I know I'm still grieving though because I do get mad. I kept my vows to her. Why couldn't she?
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 01:29 AM
3

Your friend is a piece of crap. Cut that guy put of your life. You don't fool around with your friends exes.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 10:17 PM
3

There is a local Divorce Recovery group that I go to. Some of us are getting together.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 09:01 PM
3

Taking her phone while going on walks by herself. If I were a smarter man, I would have recognized that big red flag. After she left I went to our cell carrier and pulled her call logs. Her walks that she'd go on because she "liked ger quiet alone time" often had calls to AP during that time. There were a lot of times that there were short calls at the beginning of her "walks" that, even though I can't prove it, she would call and tell him to come pick her up.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 06:36 AM
7

Icing on the cake is exactly how I'm looking at all of this. I've come so far and have done so much for myself that i never thought I could do. Spending an evening just talking with a woman that has nothing to do with my ex is one of those things that I never thought I'd be able to do. It turns out I can and I'm happy with me for doing it.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 06:17 AM
2

Happy birthday brother!
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 05:29 AM
1

I can't remember the name but one of my friends uses a free Android app for communicating with his ex.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/23 06:22 PM
3

Just give it time and it'll change to anger. At least that's what I've done.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 10:48 PM
3

Getting love and attention triggers the same part of the brain that cocaine does. Ask any addict if they've stayed clean since they quit their drug of choice and most of will say no, they've had their relapses. That's what you did. You've been getting clean and getting her out of your system but she was able to pull you "off the wagon" back into her life. You're getting that high again. Unfortunately, just like cocaine, thus woman has torn your life apart once and has shown no sign that she won'…
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 03:59 PM
1

Hey there, friend. I know how dark of space you're in right now because I've been there too. My words aren't so great and I'm not the best at talking people through this but some people are trained to help you. Call or text 988. Those are good folks who want to hear from you and know what they're doing.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 03:44 PM
18

She did it because she's a cheater. There's nothing more to it. It doesn't matter what you did or didn't do, she still would have cheated.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 07:05 AM
3

Rvery single comment that they've made here shoes what an utter arse they are.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 11:11 AM
4

I don't know you, your problems, or how much you've changed. The one thing that sticks out to me is, didn't she know how you were before you got married? Seriously, unless you're just the best person in the world at hiding things, she should have been able to pick up on any serious problems before she said "I do." That being the case, her expectations changed after you got married. You didn't sign up for that. Even then, after her expectations changed, you went to counseling and did change. What…
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 10:48 AM
4

Yeah, "he scares me when he's angry." I got that one. 24 years together and I never laid a finger on her. Not only did I take care of her when she nearly died from an infection getting breast implants I didn't want her to get, I went to nursing school to take better care of her if she ever gets so sick again. I was the most harmless person in the world when it came to her.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/23 05:23 PM
28

My wife's affair started by going to church with a guy she worked with.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/23 05:04 PM
1

With strong infidelity clauses.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/23 06:19 PM
1

Fines or penalties for infidelity. Why should you loose 50% of your life because the other person cheated?
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 04:41 PM
4

If she didn't make it clear to you what she needed then that's on her poor communication skills, not you.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 11:08 PM
19

Would you really want to deal, or even hear, about either of those?
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 10:40 PM
2

Hey man, all I know is they did right by me and I appreciate it. Nobody us forcing you to be here so you don't have to "put up with" whatever they do or don't do.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 07:08 PM
1

Sorry you're going through this, brother. You've always got friends who care here.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 02:02 AM
16

I also want to give credit to the mods too. One of my ex's friends was stalking me on here and even commenting on my posts. One of the mods saw it and banned her without me even saying anything. They even went back and deleted her comments to keep this a positive space for men. That was some top-notch stuff right there.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 01:53 AM
11

Get your own lawyer and do it quick. You need someone on your side who will watch out for your best interests because she definitely isn't going to regardless of what she says.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 04:29 AM
1

Not only am I divorced man, I'm also an RN. Trusting in God that your kid doesn't inherit a disease is pretty pointless. If God really cared that much then you wouldn't have it in the first place.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/23 03:57 AM
0

Try Prazosin. It's not an antidepressant, oddly enough, it's a blood pressure medicine. For some reason, however, it helps with bad dreams. I can't say enough good things about it.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/23 03:51 AM
0

Prazosin. It's a prescription medication that helps with bad dreams. I suffered for years with nightmares. I started Prazosin and I hardly ever have them anymore. It's actually meant to treat high blood pressure but has the added benefit of stopping bad dreams.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/23 03:47 AM
2

I once got hit with a dumb joke I made over 20 years ago.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/23 06:32 PM
7

As far as I know you're going to have to refinance at the much higher rates. That's what I'll have to do.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/23 12:36 AM
5

I like to think most people are more honest than my ex.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/23 12:34 AM
2

Her emotional affair that she lied about and hid stuff from me is enough to say it was entirely her fault.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/23 11:39 PM
1

Sorry to hear everything brother. I know it must be hard on you.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/23 07:44 PM
2

It does get easier. Then it goes back to hard. Then the whole process repeats itself over and over. The thing is, the bad parts tend to not be as often or as bad. You may not feel like it now but you're strong. You'll get through this.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/23 06:56 PM
5

No advice on what to do but just wanted to send some positive thoughts your way.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/23 07:06 PM
3

Hate that you are here but we're glad to have you.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/23 02:11 PM
6

I actually love going to work. It's too busy to think about other stuff and it wears me out so much that I can come home, eat, and just go to bed. All that plus I get paid fairly well to do it.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/23 02:00 PM
6

If I find out my wife was facing legal issues that could affect custody of pur kids because she's hanging out with people like that I'd definitely be considering divorce too.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/23 08:59 PM
7

See if there is a divorce recovery group where you live. I go to one and somebody always has people over on big holidays.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/23 01:14 AM
6

Just tell her you're not comfortable talking about that with her. If she keeps on pestering you just walk away.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/23 05:46 PM
5

I did an intensive outpatient program after my wife left. It did me good too. Maybe there is something lkme that ypu can go to?
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/23 05:06 PM
14

You know why divorce is so expensive? It's worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/23 07:16 AM
9

At least she had the nerve to tell you to your face. 24 years together here and all I got was an email.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/23 07:02 AM
5

Hang in there brother. Even if your ex doesn't care about you anymore, we do.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/23 11:04 PM
0

No good ever comes from thinking solely with your little head. Keep using your big one and don't give in.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 09:16 PM
2

Apparently not
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 06:03 PM
7

Call me crazy but I fail to see the connection between doing the dishes and her having sex with another guy.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 01:00 PM
16

The one thing I've heard on here before was the woman you divorce is never the woman you married. Unfortunately, there are a lot of us that can relate to that. Stay strong my friend.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 02:30 PM
9

It didn't work for me but only because i found out my wife is a big fat liar.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/23 08:56 PM
14

Do you just never want to see that money again? She's no longer your wife. Your time of worrying about her and what she wants and needs is over. Tell her no and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/23 11:07 PM
7

I used to watch a lot of true crime shows with my wife. I just can't watch them anymore though. You're not alone.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 09:59 AM
5

By realizing that she wasn't who I thought she was and that she had become someone I don't want in my life at all anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 01:02 AM
1

Video games and guitar.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/23 04:34 PM
4

You know why divorce is so expensive don't you? It's worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/23 07:06 PM
2

Still married, right? Then it's cheating. That being said, if ypu are definitely divorcing and not just taking a breather. Who cares?
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/23 02:27 PM
7

Married for 23 or 24 years. First few years were ok but went further ad further downhill over the next decade or so. Then things turned around and were better and better for the next decade or so. I thouhht things were great but then she started being "friends" with a guy from work. When I found out she was lying about numerous things involving him I flipped put and she left. At first I want3d her back but then I realized what an idiot she was to trade her life with me for him and if she hadn't …
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/23 09:57 AM
5

Authoritarian vs soft parenting styles sucks. My trigger son once stole medicine from their grandmother so he could get high and my now ex.wife said he only does it because im.meam to him. Sometimes kids just do bad things and need to be called out on it. After we split up that son went with mom and I never see them anymore because I'm so mean.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/23 06:22 PM
11

You left out gaslighting (used incorrectly) and narcissistic.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 11:19 PM
2

We didn't really have many mutual friends at all. My friends I just said she had been lying to me about a guy she worked with. I found out, got mad, she left
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 11:24 AM
10

I love that video so much that I want to marry and then divorce it just so it can go .on to make its own videos. . singlelife. What is she. 15?
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 09:30 PM
2

Like others have said, don't chase her. That'll just push her away and make you look desperate. She doesn't want to be qurh you anymore, she doesn't get to know your thoughts and feelings about stuff. Even if you get back together later I'd advise talking to a good divorce lawyer ASAP. Hang in there my friend.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 04:57 PM
5

Imagine going to a really nice and expensive restaurant. You get there and it's beautiful. Every single bit of your dinner is some of the best food you've ever tasted. As the meal is coming to an end you know it's desert time and you can't wait to see what culinary masterpiece finishes up this night of awe. The chef himself comes to your table, climbs up on it, ,drops his pants, and poops in the middle of the table. As good as the meal nay have been, that horrible ending makes all ther good stuf…
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 06:42 AM
1

I've spent a lot of time in Flight Sim. If you get it and play very much do yourself a favor and pick up a flight stick that will work with Xbox. I got mine under $100.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 11:34 PM
6

Hang in there brother. Time will help you find your way.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 12:12 AM
12

My wife got really sick for a while and I quit my career in IT and went to nursing school so I could take better care of her if and when she gets sick again. She cheated and we got divorced. A few months ago she had to have another surgery and recover for a few weeks afterwards. The legally adult kid who went with her had to take care of her. I don't even know if any boyfriend was around or not. I mostly went to work and came home to play Xbox while all that was going on. Sucks to be her.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/23 10:58 PM
4

Yeah, she can be. Heather was ok. Karen, I was friends with her before I was friends with my ex and I actually miss her. Angela, however, was the biggest bitch of them all and I don't care if she sees this. God I'm glad I'll never have to deal with that woman again. I don't know how her husband, who was always a decent guy, put up with her.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/23 06:23 AM
5

Too funny. Thanks brother.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/23 03:36 AM
14

Hi Jaime! Glad I'm interesting enough that one of my ex's friends reddit stalks me. For the record, I only looked at her phone records once I knew she was cheating to see how long it had been going on. Turns out she was lying about that too.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/23 12:47 AM
7

On the flip side, if you keep paying for her phone you can usually go to the carrier website and see logs of who she's calling and perhaps more.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 08:44 AM
9

The woman you had all those good times with is gone. She's been replaced by someone else entirely and that person has no room for you in their life. Mourn the one thay passed and move on from the new person.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/23 04:36 PM
1

Realize that the woman you're divorcing is not the woman you married. You need to watch out for yourself and interests first.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/23 07:58 AM
4

You're not going to get her back. The sooner you get that, the better the outcome will be.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/23 05:37 PM
2

I thought it was hard think it was over after 23 years together. It was.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/23 05:29 PM
4

Thinking the woman I'm divorcing is the same woman I married.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/23 04:37 PM
11

Ah yes, in a fight towards the end my ex said she was scared of me. I am a big guy. I'm not one to back away from physical altercations with other men. Her? I've never so much as even considered laying a finger on her. For that matter, the only reason I went to nursing school and became an RN was so I could take better care of her when she's sick (she had cancer 13 years ago and was in and put of the hospital for months, there's a good chance she'll get it again too).. Most of my older patients …
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/23 04:19 PM
2

If ypu ask my ex-wife why we got divorced she'd tell you it's because of my anger. If you ask me about what ended it I'd say I only got mad because I found out she'd been lying to me about her own affair which I think may have been physical too.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 08:55 PM
2

Doesn't that book she claims to love say something about adultery and divorce being bad things?
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/23 11:46 PM
2

I can never understand how women can drift further and further away when they become religious. Doesnt the bible say something about not divorcing? Read your own book women.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/23 11:44 PM
4

She's cheating on you. Do what you will with that information but it's true.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/23 03:38 PM
4

Tell them. Why protect the woman who is tearing your family apart?
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/23 06:41 PM
2

I feel your pain my friend. It's hard trying to rebuild after a loss like that.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/23 05:44 AM
1

First of all, wrong sub for questions like that. Second of all good on your boyfriend for dumping you for your lies.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/23 05:38 AM
6

Two things I've picked up on here are you're not divorcing the woman ypu married because she's gone bow. Also, she was never really yours to begin with. It was just your turn.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/23 06:18 PM
4

Narcissistic gaslighters, you gotta get that in there too.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 02:55 AM
28

There's a reason I only go on the men's divorce sub......
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/23 03:18 AM
15

Women get married thinking they'll be able ro change their man. Men get married thinking their wife will never change.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/23 09:20 PM
6

My dick has atrophied its been so long.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/23 04:47 AM
1

Exactly. It isn't lkme you two broke up because the dex was bad. The way she treated you is the rew as on why and also why she doesn't get all those good things now.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 07:11 PM
3

Isnt there something in the Bible about marr8ages being for your while life? Your wife doesn't sound very Christian to me.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 12:38 PM
2

You're not the only one who feels loke that at all my friend.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 11:49 PM
0

No no, you explained yourself perfectly well. That's why I said what I did. Just because she wasn't diagnosed doesn't mean that she didn't have the same issues that she does now.: Good or bad, you got what you signed up for. Marriages are supposed to for the rest of your lives. Not the rest of your life unless you decide you aren't happy any more. You need to work on your marriage before you betray the trust of this woman who depends on you
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/23 03:59 PM
2

This response isn't supportive or nice but I know a lot of us have complained about out wives doing similar things so here I go. You're feeling guilty because what you're doing isn't right. I'm guessing that your wife was autistic when you met. I'm also going to assume that her character traits that bother you now were present back then. You chose to marry this person a I'm guessing that when you got married you promised to love her through good times and bad, in sickness and in health. Now you'…
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/23 10:00 AM
3

Welcome brother. Sorry you have to join but myoure very welcome.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/23 06:02 PM
14

I know I take all my life altering advice from tik tok!
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/23 11:06 PM
12

Ah yes, controlling. Being upset that she chose to go spend half a day with the guy from work that she said had a thing for her instead of her family on Easter (also right after she forgot some stuff that was super important to me) and suddenly I'm a controlling asshole.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/23 11:01 PM
2

Welcome brother. Sorry you have to be here but we're glad to have you.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/23 02:37 AM
2

My wife left over a year ago and I still can't bring myself to move on to another woman. I've had offers but just can't do it.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 07:34 PM
3

Tell them.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 08:40 AM
1

I take rhe prescription medication that I have just fir thise times.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 08:51 AM
11

I. Don't have any answers for you but just wanted to say you're not alone in feeling like this. How people can act like that is just beyond my level of understanding.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/23 12:58 AM
2

I don't yave any answers to your questions brother but kowv g at you're welcome and surrounded by friends here. I'm glad you posted ad know that you arent the only one going through the hell that us divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 05:01 PM
3

No words of advice here, just want to say how much your situation sucks and that youvw always got friends here who will listen with an understanding ear.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/23 07:09 AM
2

Thanks for saying it still feels like you're cheating. I've been separated for just shy of a year and the divorcenis almost final but even the thought of being with someone else gives me this huge guilty feeling. I'd love to move on and be happy with someone else but I just can't do it (even if the hot 22 year old is letting me know exactly what she wants to do with me).
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 11:39 PM
10

Of course her life got worse, she lost me!
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/23 12:28 AM
4

Why should you leave the house? If she wants to b split up then she can leave.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 05:33 PM
3

Seperat3d after 23 years but hit 24 before the divorce was final which will Benin the next week or two. I'm not over it. Not even close.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/23 05:22 PM
3

You're not alone I'm feeling like this, friend. Nothing I say will.make it better, just know we're all here for ypu anytime you want to talk.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/23 03:56 AM
2

No matter how hard I spin inusually end up on something bad.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 10:59 PM
19

Nope, I'm totally broken. I honestly don't know if I'll ever even want to date again after all the crap I've been through. Not only that but I trusted myself enough to make the right choice when it came to who to marry and look at how badly I did on that one.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 02:42 PM
5

I don't even feel like I could really date again.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 11:55 PM
3

I feel like my ex burned out my ability to love someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 06:08 PM
1

I thought things were going well with marriage counseling but it turns out my wife couldn't even tell him the truth about her 'friend" from work. I went ballistic when I found out part of the truth and my wife called it quits on me amd the counselor. Turns put she had been lying about even more stiff that I found out about later.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/23 03:05 PM
2

I'm pissed off for you. She took this job a d didn't like it. Instead of confiding in her spouse she gets all buddy buddy with some other guy she works with. You've worked hard to get where you are and now it's all getting torn to shreds because of her. That fucking sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 04:40 PM
1

"Sorry ypu hae to go through this" mostly.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/23 01:59 AM
1

Complete silence from her and her friends. Sympathy from mine.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/23 12:32 AM
2

It's disturbing how familiar what you write is to me.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/23 04:33 PM
3

Man, I became a nurse so I could take better care of my wife if or when she got cancer again. I can be intimidating to some people but I've never been physically abusive at all to my wife and I still got the "I'm scared of you" routine.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/23 04:11 PM
2

You could always get a roommate.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 09:29 PM
5

Don't feel.bad, I'm terrible at being alone. I'm thinking about renting a room on my house put just to have another person around.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 09:14 PM
12

Damn, I hate how much what you wrote could be said about me too. No words of advice for you since I'm just as lost and confused. Any chance you're in Kentucky? We could go grab a drink or something if so.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 08:22 PM
2

To be honest, I've thought the same thing multiple times over the past year or so. Just havent been able to act on it yet.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 08:18 PM
1

Says more about her judgment than you.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 05:44 PM
2

No words of advice, just comfort. There are times I missi having my family so much it physically hurts. Unfortunately I'm the only one that feels that way. Hang in there brother. Even if your ex doesn't care about you anymore, I do.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 05:08 PM
5

Sorry you have to go through this. Life really isn't fair sometimes.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 12:37 AM
3

Never claimed to be anything but one.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 10:30 AM
2

They've already turned.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 07:51 AM
2

No assets to hide. Family courts can't take anything else away from me.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/23 11:01 PM
1

Its been almost a year since she left and our divorce still isn't finalized but that hurt and anger come and go for me. There are times where that anger is still as strong as it ever has been. I just have better ways of controlling myself now.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 09:02 PM
2

My divorce isn't finalized yet but I feel like I'm back at the beginning of this whole nightmare all the time.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 07:43 PM
3

We went a few times and I thought it was going well. Once I found out she was lying to both of us about her "friend" from work we didn't go back
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/23 05:52 AM
2

Booze has lots if ne g alive side effects that prescription medication doesn't.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 08:57 PM
1

Talk to a psychiatrist and get some good pills to help you deal with this.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 06:59 PM
1

No
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 05:16 PM
1

The guilt isn't so much for what happened at the end, I feel guilty like I'm a cheater if I even think about dating another woman. I know how stupid it is. I know I don't need ti. I just can't help it.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 01:59 PM
1

Yeah, 18 is an adult. I just needed some way to differentiate the two males. I know she was looking for a way out, I hate that I gave her one.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 01:34 PM
1

She took our younger son and went to her mom's. She's been back a few times to get stuff but hasn't talked to me about anything. She filed a few.montjs later.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 01:13 PM
2

Sorry you're going through all this. We know how hard it is.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 09:32 PM
3

Sorry to hear that, friend. This is a good place to vent...there are a lotmof men here a d we've all gone through it too so you're in a safe place.here.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 03:04 AM
1

I mer a woman here on reddit and she wanted to meet up.so things could get physical but I called.it off just because my head isn't in the right place yet.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/23 06:37 PM
1

Use the process of elimination. Do you ever wake up with an erection if you go without sex or masterbatuon? If so, that's a sign that everything is working physically.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 03:41 AM
3

Same.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 11:28 PM
2

Killed it dead here.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 09:46 PM
1

I n couldn't care less.about the law. I'm talking about my own feelings. I can't hunt because I'd feel too guilty for killing the cute little creatures even if sit is legal.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/23 02:39 PM
1

I realized that 7 months ago but am just a schmuck who can't move on.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/23 02:36 PM
1

I'd feel guilty even doing that.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/23 02:34 PM
3

Why did we separat? I did like.the guy she was dating. She initiated it after i got mad one night and broke stuff when i saw sown messages on her phone from him. It has not been amicable. 2 male sons, 18 and 22. 18 went with mom and 22 stayed with mel.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/23 02:33 PM
1

Event he thought of dating someone else makes me.feel guilty.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/23 02:27 PM
2

You and I are both on the same leaky boat..... headed towards an iceberg.....in a hurricane....... that's being chased by Somali pirates.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/23 02:26 PM
1

Thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/23 03:47 AM
3

I'm definitely not over her. No arguement therew.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/23 02:35 AM
5

I'm not even religious, I just can't move on.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/23 01:05 AM
3

I'm happy that everything is working out so well for you but even thought of doing g that makes me feel guilty like I'd be cheating in my stbxw.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/23 11:44 PM
2

I have n9nidea what I'm usually listening to. If i play sings that are more than a year or two old it brings back all thise memories of listebing to them with my stbx and I don't want that. I've got an Amazon echo that I love. I'll just tell it to pllay music and it'll start playing something I don't know but is usually close enough to what I tell it to play that I find some new stuff that's really good.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 11:12 PM
3

May not need, or really even want, to but here we are regardless.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 12:22 AM
4

For now at least (separated 6 months, not finalized yet) have no desire to date or anything else. My ex is.still remting too much space in my head for anyone new. At this point I'm just waiting for an early grave all alone.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/23 09:10 PM
3

Most painful thing too.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/23 05:46 PM
1

Glad things are working out so well for you!
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/23 04:34 AM
3

Man, every time I even think of hitting on another woman I feel guilty like I'm cheating on my stbx. She moved on while we were still together too which just makes it that much more stupid being hung up the way I am. My head says to go for it but my stupid broken heart won't let me.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/23 08:28 PM
2

No words of.advice here. I just wanted to say that your feelings are very valid and you're not the only one who feels.thay way. A few of the details are different but your story sounds like mine so much its scary. Hang in there, friend.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 04:34 PM
11

Divorce sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/23 03:03 AM
2

No real words of encouragement but just wanted to say you aren't the only one spiraling since things ended. I hate where my life is right now and do t know what to do about it. I'm holding on for something but have no idea what. Hang in there brother.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/23 12:38 AM
3

Hey man. I don't know what to tell you to help ypu get over her. I just wanted tk chime in and say you aren't alone in having thise feelings. I know I definitely do too and I'm struggling with them a lot. These feelings have drug me down in just about every area of my life. Even if she doesn't care about breaking the promises that she made you and what that's done to you, there is at least one I telnet stranger who dies care - me. Hang in there brother.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/23 04:57 AM
1

Deleted everything except reddit and haven't regretted it once.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 08:21 PM
2

No answers or advice here butbi just wanted to say you aren't alone with having those feelings. It's been mo ths for me nd I'm stilla big mess of sad and angry all the time still waiting for things to get better.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 06:14 PM
8

Hey man, you got urther than I have. One part of me wants another relationship but the other part of me freaks out at just the thought of being with someone else. I know my marriage is over. I'm almost positive she had moved on before she even left. Yet, for some reason, I just can't do the same and I hate it. It's like my mind can't let go of being faithful even though I know I should. Serving how eviction papers to get out if my head is way harder than I thought.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 05:57 PM
3

Now that's a woman I know I'd listen to!
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 01:21 AM
4

Same here
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 01:16 AM
2

For me it wasn't so much a raging rapids as it was tumbling down a dark hole and destroying everything I hit on the way down. I still haven't hit the bottom and am terrified what's going to happen when I finally do.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/23 09:43 PM
1

It never expired to me.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 02:14 PM
13

I still want to try. I said I'd love her until death do us part. I meant that. I just wish she did too.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 12:16 AM
3

Fuck time. It ms been months since my wife left and I still feel lkme I'm bleeding out from it.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/23 10:56 PM
2

Hey man, this is definitely the right place to talk about this. We're a supportive group here and a lot of us have been through similar situations. I dont even have nay words of advice for you. If anything, I just wanted to say thanks for sharing because it's men like you who are strong enough to tell their stories so other men like me know we aren't the only ones who feel that way.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/23 07:06 PM
3

Imagine that, a woman get the changes she wants and all of a sudden she doesn't want you anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/23 06:56 PM
1

You rock!
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/23 06:53 PM
2

I once had a woman tell me I could finish inside her without a condom because she's already pregnant. I noped out of that one.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 08:29 PM
1

Thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/23 05:02 PM
1

Thank you so much.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/23 06:13 AM
40

Hey man, this is coming from someone who was in a 23 year marriage and had it end the same damn way yours did. You can't stop it. Give it more time and you'll cone around to where you won't want to either.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 08:00 AM
2

Nothing quite like laying on bed and watching SVU reruns.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 05:18 AM
5

Haven't been with anyone. Have no desire to either.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 05:11 AM
2

Now words of advice for you but just wanted to say you're not alone in feeling fhe way you do and the situation that you're in. Even if something comes m along now I just wander how long it will be before that gets fucked up too.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/23 11:59 PM
3

I feel want you're saying. It's like very word you've written in this post and your responses could have coke from me. I built my life around my wife and family and now that she's gone I'm finding that I'm just not that interesting of a person now. I've said before that I feel like I'm falling f down this big dark hole, hitting and breaking stuff on my way down, and terrified of what's going to happen when I hit the bottom.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/23 06:54 PM
6

Of course the lawyer us going ti to try to tank it. Gotta get that $$$$!
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/23 04:03 AM
2

I used to work in IT. Left a decade ago to become an RN and make more money than I i ever did in IT.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/23 09:40 PM
7

Vent away, brother. It's what we're here for. It's amazing how loud the silence a big empty house can be.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/23 06:56 AM
16

I'm only a few months into this journey. Personally, intelligently, I want to find somebody new just because really like being a husband and I thought I was good at it. Emotionally, however, I still feel guilty even thinking about doing just dating anyone else. It sucks too because I know she's moved on (that's why we split actually) and I know she's taking up space in my head but i just can't help it and it sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/23 09:38 PM
5

No words ofbadvice friend, just wanted to say I understand where you're coming from and get how lonely you are from all this. I'm Ina similar situation and it sucks. Hang in there brother.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/23 03:10 PM
7

Yep, sure did. It worked so well i ended up here.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/23 07:18 AM
-1

No, I'm just not an animal.that wants to fuck everything in front of them.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 04:45 PM
0

Tye same reason I'd be friends with another guy.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 04:34 PM
3

I have no answer for your question at all but just wanted to say that you're not the only one that feels that way. The absolute last thing in the world that I want right now is any sort of relationship that is anything more than strictly platonic at all.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 06:14 AM
2

Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 06:10 AM
5

I don't and don't really have any desire to at all. My stbx and I separated in August and I haven't had any desire for anything more than strictly platonic since then.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/23 06:39 PM
2

One of my kids was a bit of a problem child. If you ask my stbxw it was because if me. I'd get too upset because of stuff my wife did and rjay was all on me too. I have felt a lot less guilty since she left.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/23 01:16 AM
2

Doesn't sound pathetic to me It just sounds really depressing.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/23 10:53 PM
3

This x10. When I'm low I get a get way too easily. Get that checked out.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 09:16 PM
1

I totally get nit wanting to listen tobthe same old songs. Get an app like Pandora ot Amazon Prime music. You can put what you would normally listen to in and play othe rdtuff that is similar. I've found d so much new music in the past few months it's not even funny.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 09:13 PM
8

Lawyers do law stuff all day long. You don't. Let your lawyer friend do the lawyering for you.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 12:10 AM
3

Oh that gut feeling that she's cheating. I developed it when I was younger and it hasn't been wrong once no matter how much I wish it was.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/22 06:42 AM
3

Hey rhere Rotherham, sorry you're going through all this. I'll not far enough along to give give you any advice about what's going on but I just want3d to say you aren't the only one feeling that way. Reading what you wrote was lole reading g my own thoughts. I totally get not wanting the current t her back but still wanting the old her back. Just hang I'm there the best ypu cam and if ypu ever need someone who understands, feel free to hit me up. I'm a. It older than you (44) nt not any wiser w…
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/22 06:35 AM
6

I miss my stbx and younger son so much it hurts. I hate this more than most days that I hate.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/22 01:04 AM
2

I know hearing it from a stranger on.tje internet isn't the same but Merry Christmas!
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/22 01:23 PM
2

Rable all you want. That's what we're here for, brother. This is a hard time for all of us and we're just trying to make it to another day like you
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/22 06:59 AM
3

Don't ask me for advice. My wife and I shared one friend from before we ever even got together. They were even maid of honor in each other's weddings. I've tried texting her since my wife and I separated but never got a response. It sucks because she was a really good friend of mine but then again, so was my wife and I lost her too.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/22 05:50 AM
2

Get your testosterone levels checked.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/22 03:06 AM
1

Sorry ypu have to go through this. No advice for you here but just wanted to say you're not and other..guys feel.the same loss, confusion, and hopelessness too. I know.i m do.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/22 10:03 PM
2

Your feelings are.perfectly fine. Like you said, it's I'm our nature to help,.especially the one person we said we'd love forever. The things is, whe she filed she said she doesn't love you or want you to care for her anymore. You're giving.her exactly what she wanted. Don't feel.nad.anput that. As rhe saying goes 'Not your circus, not your monkies."
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/22 07:48 PM
2

No words of advice for you but just wanted to say you aren't alone and there are other men out there that feel pretty close (nobody can feel the exact same) to the way you do. I know I do. Hang in there brother.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/22 05:08 AM
7

I've read that when women get married it's with the expectation Rhett their husband will change. When me get married it's with the expectation that their wife never will.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/22 02:12 PM
7

No words of advice here. Just want to say you're not alone brother. You're Ina safe space and there are a lot of good guys in here for you.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/22 08:54 AM
3

Yeah, I'm expecting that.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/22 05:40 AM
9

23 years here. She filed a couple weeks ago and even though I make more than she does I still don't know how I'm going to make it. I just feel so lost and confused.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/22 12:50 AM
1

Sorry to hear that.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/22 12:18 AM
2

Have ypu tried Googling divorce recovery group or something similar. That's how I found my group.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/22 04:51 PM
3

I've got no advice for you but I just wanted to say you're not alone and what you're feeling right now has been felt by just about all the other men in this sub. Hang in there brother.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/22 03:44 AM
1

You're very welcome.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/22 12:31 PM
16

I've got no advice for you, friend, but just wanted to say you're not alone or in a unique situation. I think alot of us feel how you do.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/22 04:40 AM
2

No advice but in a similar situation and want to read repliees.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/22 04:37 AM
3

In my case it's because I was the only one that meant it when I said "until death do us part." Seriously, no matter how bad things got, my g oak was always to make things better when we'd argue. There were multiple times she was wanting leave but stuck around.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/22 03:56 AM
5

Met in highschool, 23 years married and 2 kids. I'm terrified of that day coming. Hell, I don't know how I made this far. Hang in there brother.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/22 03:49 AM
7

He had the hots for my wife. I didn't take it laying down. There were lots of arguments about how she didn't do anything wrong and I'm a "controlling asshole" as she put it. How do you think I ended up in this sub?
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/22 12:18 AM
6

I once got told that my stbx hates talking to me because I take what she says and uses it against her. I then explained that, yes, I do listen to what she says and then respond to her words. That's called a conversation. Apparently I also act like I'm always right to which ,again, I told her that yes I do. If I didn't think I was right why would I do stuff that way. Makes me wonder how often she knowingly does stuff incorrectly.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/22 08:14 PM
4

I was called controlling because I got upset she used her one day off of work in 2 weeks to hang out with a guyfrom work she said had the hots for her instead of spending the day with me after she forgot the anniversary of when we started dating, again. She also said she forgets because it's too hard too hard n her to remember numbers. Ask her what any of bank account numbers are and she remembers every single one of those.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/22 08:07 PM
1

As much as I hate being alone, I really can't see myself ever having another relationship again. I'll never subject another woman into doing that.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/22 08:02 AM
2

According to my STBX the stuff she did is the cause of our problems but it's my fault we're splitting because I made too big of a deal about her running around with another guy and lying about it.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 07:25 PM
5

I'm abusive and scary because I got upset that she was lying about a guy at work to my face and even the marriage counselor. Because as e of that, I'm now the bad guy.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 07:22 PM
2

I washappy as could be for 23 years until my wife threw it sway for a guy she worked with that looks like a real life Ned Flanders.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/22 07:35 AM
6

4 things that led directly into each other Sitting at home waiting for hours while she was out with a guy who was "just a friend" and later saying she didn't do anything wrong and it's not a big deal. It was to me but apparently it had to be for both people for it to count. Hearing her say she didn't know if she wanted to stay married while we were in marriage counseling. She also sat there multiple times saying she wasn't talking to him anymore. I found out she was still talking to and seeing t…
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/22 02:35 PM
1

I don't know ifnit gets any better since you're further along this journey than me but I just wanted to comment and say you aren't alone in any if those feelings. I'm right there with you and it physically hurts most of the time.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/22 05:38 PM
1

Also, who lies to their therapist like that? That's messed up. I mean, my stbx did too so you're not alone.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/22 01:17 AM
1

Wife was having an emotional affair and lying to me and even our marriage counselor about a guy she works with. I was was drunk and experiencing some medication sife effects when I found out and I broke stuf around the house when I found out. We aren't divorced yet though. She said she wanted one a month ago but I haven't heard a word from her since then. I'd be willing to work on stuff and try to save pur marriage but she isn't. I guess I was the only one who meant it when we said "through good…
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/22 12:28 PM
1

I don't know, man. I'm a big believer in putting the person ahead of their actions. That means that even though people screw up, even really badly, you put those actions aside because you love them so much. I don't know your story but m, depending on what the arrest was for, I'd still try ro work things out. As far as the money spent, meh, you can always make more money or replace physical items. You can't buy love, especially if it's from your kids' parent.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/22 11:13 AM
1

I miss having all my family together so much it physically hurts.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/22 04:16 AM
1

Sorry to hear you're going g through it too. Stay strong brother.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/22 11:52 PM
4

I haven't tried suicide but have thought about it. O also spent a month or two doing intensive outpatient program at the looney bin so I get that part. I just wish I could somehow fadfforward to where it doesn't hurt as much.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/22 09:28 PM
1

Thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/22 11:44 PM
1

Not OP but in a similar situation. How does one find people like that?
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/22 11:36 PM
5

I honestly don't know if it does or not my friend but I can say you're. Other rhe only one who is a complete wreck dealing with all this. I found out my wife of 23 years was having an emotional affair (that's the only thing I can prove) with a guy that she works with that looks like a real life version of Ned Flanders. I flipped out when I discovered it and she left that night. She took our younger (18m) kid and dog with her and is living at her mom's house. She emailed me to say she wanted a di…
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/22 11:30 PM
3

I'd give you any advice at all if I had any but the truth is I don't and I've been having a hard time with all of this too. I'm just as lost and confused as you are but, hey, I just wanted to say I'm right there with you brother. I hope you can find some peace through all this.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/22 10:36 PM
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