Fuck it all

New_Classroom_1840 · 2023-05-10T00:22:14+00:00

I hear you. There's a podcast somebody posted here, a man's journey through divorce. It's helped. Yes, you (and I) feel like you lost a wife and family and home and all you put into it, and you have nothing left. You never had the wife. My guess is that you became what you thought she wanted you to be and you complied every time she moved the goal posts. You didn't have the family you wanted, you had the family she wanted and you thought you were supposed to provide. Me too. House and all that shit: same. She still wasn't happy and now you're here. Don't get me wrong, I'm here with you. I could give a shit about the wife. She was a fake. I still haven't come to terms with the dreams I had for my kid and family. Those are gone and that destroys me on an hourly basis. Right now there's no amount of rationalization that's going to make me feel better about those. I'm staying for the sole purpose of trying to be the best I can be for my kid, and even that, even that isn't really up to me, and I'm struggling with what I can have vs what I want vs what I will get. You still have your kids, at some point and to some degree, and they are all that matters.

Facebook is fake. Go delete whatever you put there. It will bite your ass somehow someway later. You don't know what you have to lose yet.

research002019 · 2023-05-10T01:48:14+00:00

"A life well lived is the best revenge."

I don't know who said that or where it comes from, but it really helped me to put myself in that mindset.

You're right OP, fuck her. The best way to get back at her is to be happy and successful for yourself.

CB33isGMC · 2023-05-10T09:30:52+00:00

Many of us have been there brother. It’s a wicked time but it gets better.

Material shit comes and goes, don’t sweat it. Your wealth is in your health and your spiritual wellbeing. Prioritize those two things and everything else will flow.

Your kids will be fine. We micromanage kids too much nowadays anyway. Don’t let them see you acting like a sucker (especially if you have boys). Have fun when you see them. Stay away from heavy conversations. It’ll be all good.

Regarding your ex, you ain’t losing shit. You probably don’t even like that chick anymore. You will come to realize she is doing you a BIG favor.

Tighten up mf’er, you’re getting out on parole!

pk2at · 2023-05-09T22:53:32+00:00

Dude, at bare minimum try to hide some assets or other tricks to save money, ranting like this is really not helpful. Gear up for battle and at least thumb a nose or two at family courts

Glittering-Coat3141 · 2023-05-10T06:05:31+00:00

I felt the same way a couple weeks ago. I'm losing everything, no house, won't ever see my kids, wife is out fucking another or multiple. Once I realized my family is no longer my wife and kids, my family is me and my kids. I am a family of 3, not 4 now. Ihave felt so much better about it. Yeah am i going to be paying child support, yeah bitch can't survive without my money. But I'm making the most of my time with my children as memorable as I ever could. There's no monkey on your back saying, you shouldn't go do that with them, or when will you be back. All the nagging questions you once heard are gone. Your children get to see their father as who you truly are and who you want them to see. You can make it through this, you got to keep the glass half full, not half empty. That's the key to happiness, finding joy in the smallest little things. I hope nothing but the best for you.

Easy_Conflict1990 · 2023-05-09T23:48:52+00:00

You look like a fool when you air your dirty laundry on Facebook. Dumb move on your part. Mutual friends will take her side now and feel sorry for her because you’re acting like an ass.

Living-Alfalfa-3758 · 2023-05-10T02:02:26+00:00

I feel you man, let it all out. Its too late to take it back anyway. Just remember you burned the circle you are in now, these people are no longer your people. Just focus on your kids, take care of them and start a new life, new everything...think of the house as its your gift to your kids to always have a roof. Try to make her never sell it or bring other men to the house. Its the kids house. You need to get lost for a while, to find yoursepf and your new circle again. Just make sure to always take care of your kids emotionally. They are part of this too.

upvotersfortruth · 2023-05-10T03:21:52+00:00

What's done is done. You can only push a man so far. I'm glad this was your vent rather than the alternatives.

Ptsdveterannavy · 2023-05-10T00:21:35+00:00

I'd have to agree airing things out on social media is bad on your part yet, I understand your position. From this point forward, move in silence, you're going to lose the comforability that you been used to but remember this, you're going to gain more as long as you keep a cool head. You're in the trenches, but, you can survive and come back stronger.

ApprehensiveStudy671 · 2023-05-10T05:45:12+00:00

You said it! Fuck it! Enjoy life as much as you can! Do sports you like, be in good shape, travel around and get to know new countries or places, get to date new women and just have fun! This is a new chapter in your life! Leave the past behind and don't look back! Just go for your new life!

Certain-Line-6351 · 2023-05-10T04:43:38+00:00

Be careful what you post. You can say you’re divorced and you’re upset and life sucks at the moment but be careful because people will turn on you.

Froffiek · 2023-05-10T09:05:03+00:00

Let that shit burn. I approve.

esak13 · 2023-05-10T10:39:38+00:00

Fuck it indeed. Now worry about yourself. Go to the fucking gym and get fucking shredded. Buy some guns and train to shoot. Grow a bead. If you lose the house in the divorce buy a chunk of land and a small camper, live in it while you build yourself a cabin. Read books. Learn skills. Don’t tie your life to a female ever again. If you want to have sex once in a while then do that, but don’t let women be involved more than that. Become based.

CommanderOfCheese45 · 2023-05-11T16:50:17+00:00

Delete the FB post. It's good that you wrote it but the ideal way to deal with it is to make the effort to write it out by hand on paper, and then burn the paper. All the relief and venting, a visceral satisfying feeling of 'revenge' and a chance to let it go. Making it public is only going to make it worse for you.

MrFelixHasGoals · 2023-05-10T20:23:09+00:00

Get ahold of yourself, man! Buck up. Stop reacting emotionally and turn on your logical brain. You need to reset your thinking. Burning your and her life to the ground is going to help no one and cause you further pain and hurt your kids. Delete the social media tantrum, and take ahold of your emotions.

Go to counseling. Now. It is $150. Go.

Being a victim should be a stop along your path. Dont build a house there, and done stall at victimhood. Counseling will help your nuts drop, take responsibility, and be a man. Be a victim for maybe an hour, quietly and without drama. The. Brush yourself off and go be a leader, dad.

It is a divorce. There are worse things than divorce. Reflect on this. It is only a divorce. And your wont lose the kids unless you spike your relationship with the kids. Time allotment and location is not relationship. Your presence and safety is your relationship with your kids. You are 100% in control of their fatherhood experience.

Your life is falling apart… in 7 billion people on the planet, everyone knows pain. Open your eyes and welcome the reality that your pain will kill your selfishness and your need for control, and make you better.

Your kids need a strong dad as an example. You can do this. Actually, you have to. So do it. And come out of this as an exceptional dad.

mysterious_girl24 · 2023-05-19T22:46:05+00:00

Are you saying you exposed your STBXW on social media? How did that turn out?

Title	Fuck it all
Author	rhett342
Upvotes	37
Comments	32
Date	May 9, 2023 10:37 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/13d8ieh/fuck_it_all/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/fuck-it-all.1218828 https://theredarchive.com/post/1218828

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