~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 161 | Misogynists deleted their videos and accounts because of this badass Tiktoker Drew Afualo! She tells women to keep their standards high and know their worth. Her good-looking BF treats her like a queen. This is the living proof that FDS works. Keep your worth and standards high. <3Ugh YES DREW! Doing the Lords work! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/04/22 06:50 PM |
| -1 | “If he wanted to, he would” fair, but how do I let him know I’m interested without directly asking him out?Flirt with him and see if he leans into it. Joke about being him being your work husband, or ask him if he wants to be – if he has positive reaction to it, let him lead and do the rest of the work and give positive reactions back to it so it signals to him that its okay to keep doing so. Just enjoy flirting without any expectations of what might happen between you both. Just make sure he does indeed put effort into courting you but also making sure you are comfortable with it — before you say ye… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/04/22 04:13 PM |
| 18 | Be aware of giving your number into a whatsapp group with men in it — Even if it's friendly.Aint that the truth :/ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/04/22 01:14 AM |
| 33 | Be aware of giving your number into a whatsapp group with men in it — Even if it's friendly.Oh I'm sorry you went through something similar — if not worse. I don't know where these men find the audacity, I really don't. Google voice isn't available in my country but I think ring central might work, thanks for the tip. Either way I'm not giving guys my phone number again (unless I'm interested in him, which is rare lol) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/04/22 12:20 AM |
| 36 | Be aware of giving your number into a whatsapp group with men in it — Even if it's friendly.Its so weird to me because I had ghosted him AND left the group chat which should have been an indicator that I didn't want to be involved with him... and yet if he indeed saw my handle come up as suggested, why send a follow request??? Its so creepy either way. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/04/22 12:15 AM |
| 46 | Be aware of giving your number into a whatsapp group with men in it — Even if it's friendly.Love that! Yeah as much as I had fun at the last one, it's not worth being potentially creeped on and having to constantly brain storm ways to repel men. Women only groups are so much more relaxing that way | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/04/22 07:46 PM |
| 36 | Be aware of giving your number into a whatsapp group with men in it — Even if it's friendly.For sure. Its like men don't know how to react to a woman minding her own business and enjoying herself where they feel the need to invade that space. I definitely won't be giving my number to guys anymore, its too much of a risk. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/04/22 07:45 PM |
| 117 | Be aware of giving your number into a whatsapp group with men in it — Even if it's friendly.For real!!!! Cyndi Lauper should have said "Girls just wanna have fun! (but without men making them uncomfortable and pushing their advances just because they thought a single smile meant they were flirting when theY WERENT." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/04/22 06:46 PM |
| 2 | Red flag - A man who likes to pit women against other women.I was 100% uncomfortable with the arm thing. I don't like men touching me. When I first rejected a guy at 13, his friend grabbed my shoulder and threatened me to like him and so many of my friends pulled him off me because they knew he was planning to punch me. Saying no in my experience wasn't respected by men so when the arm thing happened I had internal panic and laughed at his horrible pick up line and had to ease my way out of the situation safetly. I will never go for a man that touches me… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/03/22 04:03 PM |
| 80 | A joke eh?When have women ever demanded the rights to text a man first? Why is that the forefront of their mind when they think "equality" ?? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/03/22 02:24 AM |
| 201 | Red flag - A man who likes to pit women against other women.The other day during a gig I was working at... this guy hit on me by wrapping an arm around my shoulder (ew) saying "out of all the girls I've seen today, you far are the most beauti–" and I cut him off by LAUGHING. It was so random and bullshit to my ears that I actually burst out laughing (I manage to get out of his physical grasp because of it) Anyway, why in the fuck do you think comparing me to other women is a compliment? There were so many beautiful women that day and I felt insulted for … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/03/22 01:01 AM |
| 67 | Reminder to also vet your female roommates!I relate to this. As kids my now ex best friend and I used to dream about moving in together during uni and getting away from our family. She got with her NVM boyfriend and would not stop bragging about the gross rapey sex they have. Eventually I stopped wanting to move in with her because I just knew he would be over all the time and I don't want his energy in my space. Whats worse is that in our early twenties, I would talk about getting my own place or having a government home to get away fro… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/03/22 12:52 AM |
| 98 | It is up to MEN to prove they are feminists, NOT womenAs women we do not need to prove we are serious about feminism by paying 50/50 for our meals or by not wearing lipstick or whatever “rules” there are for being a true feminist. Its so interesting when it comes to splitting the bills, is when they are suddenly feminists and that if we don't believe in going dutch — then WE don't want equality. Almost like a pickme test to see how women prove their feminism and their need for equality by stooping down to 50/50 when it hurts us. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/02/22 10:28 PM |
| 29 | “Are you going to be of help here? Be on the lookout in your friends group who is single. Because I bet you by I’m better than the next people they’re going to date. The best”I was a "wing women" for a guy I had a small crush on at work a while back. He kept flirting with me insinuating he was into me just so he could get me to ask if his crush (fellow coworker) was single... after that, this whiny dude WOULD NOT stop calling me just to moan about how he wants a girlfriend and that he wonders if X likes him or not. I told him she clearly doesn't because she just got out of a relationship and wants to be single — but he would stalk her insta account to find clues that… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/02/22 07:59 PM |
| 5 | What's your phone numberLove that response, thank you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/02/22 05:22 AM |
| 1 | What's your phone numberQuestion, do you tell them its a google voice number in the beginning? How do you go about giving your actual number later? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/02/22 03:35 AM |
| 4 | "Are you a feminist?" How do you answer this?Exactly. It was very poor storytelling done by trying too hard to push an agenda. I've never had a piece of work infuriate me so much and this was before FDS and before I really started to see Lib Fem as very flawed. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/22 08:45 PM |
| 6 | "Are you a feminist?" How do you answer this?Exactly, and peoples projections of what feminism means to them will also allow them to make assumptions about your feminism beliefs. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/22 05:24 AM |
| 9 | "Are you a feminist?" How do you answer this?I really like this response, it doesn't answer the question enough to expose your beliefs – yet turns it back on them. Thanks for the insight | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/22 05:22 AM |
| 7 | "Are you a feminist?" How do you answer this?My ex and I had a discussion a few years ago about politics and I was passionately defending and trying to get him to understand certain issues women face — and he replies "You see, I can tell that you're a feminist." And my brain went ???? You say that like it's a bad thing? And is that supposed to derail my argument or something? Then there was a time where this writer asked me to review her story — and it was the most cringy lib fem pick me bullshit I have ever read (the protagonist proposes … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/02/22 11:27 PM |
| 129 | "Are you a feminist?" How do you answer this?If they think that means I’m into stuff like 50/50, they’ll tell on themselves eventually. Good point, honestly. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/02/22 06:24 PM |
| 78 | "Are you a feminist?" How do you answer this?How would you respond to someone saying "well, what kind are you then?" I get worried about having to over explain myself to avoid offending the mass | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/02/22 06:19 PM |
| 47 | "Are you a feminist?" How do you answer this?I love that. I'd rather my actions + words show my character values vs using a label as well | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/02/22 06:18 PM |
| 2 | I cleaned my period mess so his mom didn't have to: AVOID MAMAS BOYS AT ALL COSTS.I don't get it either. We are so used to seeing our own blood that we don't associate blood with murder, but rather just a medical thing that naturally happens to our body. Those comments did come off as tone deaf – especially over a tiny ass blood stain which is nothing in comparison to how much we usually lose. And thank you! I'm glad he ended up breaking up with me. Who knows what else I would have endured with him. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/01/22 03:35 PM |
| 16 | I cleaned my period mess so his mom didn't have to: AVOID MAMAS BOYS AT ALL COSTS.My mother enabled and babied my brother. She still cleans up after him because he doesn't know how to clean, cook or even fucking flush the toilet... and he's FOURTY-FOUR YEARS OLD. He has a longterm girlfriend (never proposed but they say they are married even though they aren't) and sometimes I wonder how the hell does she put up with him. It's weird because my mom never taught me how to cook or clean either... and yet I figured it out at a very young age. Glad you are teaching you are raising… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/01/22 12:48 AM |
| 16 | I cleaned my period mess so his mom didn't have to: AVOID MAMAS BOYS AT ALL COSTS.It's so weird because his mom doesn't seem the type to coddle her son (not the way my mom does for my brother atleast) and there were times she would call out my ex for letting me go to the movies by myself and she and his dad would be the one to invite me to important family events. My ex tried to go 50/50 on a plane ticket for me to visit him, and his mom was like "wtf, no. Pay for her whole ticket." At the end of the day he was/is a prideful, insecure, coward. I'm glad my family never met him… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/01/22 12:41 AM |
| 41 | I cleaned my period mess so his mom didn't have to: AVOID MAMAS BOYS AT ALL COSTS.He definitely is both lmao. He would bring his mom on our dates and cancel our plans just to hang out with his family that he sees everyday. He would get her small gifts for her (he never got me anything) and if I was going out to a cafe — he would ask me to buy something for his parents. Like he was SO attached to them. Even when we would cuddle in his room (I was big spoon -_-) his mom would pass by the room and he would call out to her "Mom! Look! Aren't we cute???" His parents actually have … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/22 10:36 PM |
| 42 | I cleaned my period mess so his mom didn't have to: AVOID MAMAS BOYS AT ALL COSTS.Luckily this was the only moment out of many that I caved into proving him wrong. The other times I gave him so much sass for trying to manipulate me into cooking for his family. Take your wife benefits and gtfo, I aint doing it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/22 08:35 PM |
| 60 | I cleaned my period mess so his mom didn't have to: AVOID MAMAS BOYS AT ALL COSTS.EW what the fuck. I cannot deal with that level of involvement. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/22 08:31 PM |
| 10 | How do you strategize outfits and fashion for dates?That's not what I said, I meant effort is given when effort is received. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/10/21 03:02 AM |
| 26 | Why do south asian girls settle for averageIn South Asian countries it is a belief that women cannot survive without having a man in her life. My mom says (she doesn't agree) it looks bad on a woman who gets into her 30s and 40s without a husband means she's undesirable, and a woman who likes to travel alone is seen as a prostitute. A lot of these countries don't give women the freedom and safety to be on there own without judgement. So this cycle of belief continues even if you have migrated to a first world country — that as long as yo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/10/21 03:40 PM |
| 44 | What is so hard about respecting people’s time?My ex pickmeisha best friend would come 2 hours late everytime we were supposed to hang out. I would be at the location at the correct time and she would either be asleep or just starting to do her makeup and would take two hours to get ready. 20 missed calls she would finally pick up and tell me she's coming in 10 minutes, then 20 minutes pass and she would tell me another 10 minutes. There were even times where I would give her the wrong time (earlier time) and I would arrive later so we would… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/10/21 08:50 PM |
| 9 | Open communication doesn't seem to be a thing anymoreMy ex neglected communication during our LONG DISTANCE relationship. When I asked him to give me FIVE MINUTES out of a month to call me , he said I was being too needy and not understanding of the fact that he works a lot and needs time to spend with his family. Garbage, I tell you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/09/21 12:36 PM |
| 17 | He knows he's making you feel uncomfortable and he likes itWhen I was in junior kindergarten, one of the boys in my class grabbed my arm roughly and kept kissing my palm and my forearm making smacking noises. I would feel so uncomfortable and try to pull away but he will pulled harder. Eventually when he stopped the student volunteer in my class saw my distress and how quiet I was and said "did he do something to you?" And I nodded but I couldn't say what happened from the embarrassment and she asks again "tell me what he did." And he exclaims and mocks… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/09/21 12:30 PM |
| 11 | They will stay mad for 7 years and never changeReading this made me uncomfortable because a few years ago I was talking to this guy I met twice from a gig. He had my number but didn't remember my name and had my name under contacts as the job we worked for 😪 anyways I acted offended (jokingly, I didn't care that much because I wasn't interested in him) and I told him I wasn't going to remind him my name. He begged for it and I just told him "meditate on it, I'm sure you'll figure it out." Mind you... I just told him to meditate on it because… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/09/21 05:03 PM |
| 3 | Do any of you realize that the LVM or scrotes in your life try to recreate or mimic scenes and characters from movies or tv shows?This was back when I was 16 and he was 18 taking his gap year to pursue his music | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/08/21 02:57 PM |
| 30 | Do any of you realize that the LVM or scrotes in your life try to recreate or mimic scenes and characters from movies or tv shows?One time a guy I never dated decided to serenade me at this concert. It was an event where a bunch of different small bands got to play. Basically my best friend at the time was friends and a huge fan of his band — I wasn't. I'm not a fan of concerts but I went with her because she really wanted to go, and no other friend was willing. I only met the guy ONCE before that. So he kept making passes on me assuming I was just as much as a fan of them as my best friend was. He would offer to take a se… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/08/21 09:13 PM |
| 59 | "Do you want to hang out?" Vs "Can I take you out on a date?I've learned my lesson now and will always keep guy friends to group only experiences. It's not worth the risk anymore to actually believe they want to genuinely hang out as friends. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/08/21 11:44 PM |
| 82 | "Do you want to hang out?" Vs "Can I take you out on a date?So I guess he's dating his male friends too? Who's gonna break the news to him? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/08/21 11:43 PM |
| 5 | My first ever HV wins!He brought it to the pedicure station I was at, gave me a kiss, said to have a nice self-care day, and promptly headed out. Again, I'm floored at the thoughtfulness of these gestures. I got to this point and my face went 🥺 in a split second. Jeez, what it would be like to experience something like that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/08/21 01:03 AM |
| 6 | guys quizzing you on datesI'm definitely going to use this one!! Thanks! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/08/21 12:44 AM |
| 20 | Why do men take SUCH offense to my reserved demeanor?Regardless of whether you are an introvert/extrovert, when you lean back with your energy it forces man to be in his masculine and do the work in trying to court you. This dude wanted to blame you and make you seem like you were uninterested/scared/shy to make himself feel less bad about not being able to take the lead. I'm an introvert as well but I find men who are comfortable in their masculine energy actually find it attractive that I'm laid back and don't try to hard for their attention. I'… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/08/21 05:17 PM |
| 1 | What are your dealbreakers?Reading this activated my superpowers. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/12/20 09:55 PM |
| 3 | Can you recommend action movies with strong female leads?Seven sisters aka What happened to Monday? Aka seven female leads played by one female lead. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/12/20 03:38 AM |
| 11 | Man Baby TantrumGirl please contact HR with all of your proof of this + the change in your scheduled hours and anything else you can provide. This is discrimination on your managers behalf for siding with someone who is harassing you at a workplace. Make sure to use the words "discrimination" "harrassment" "workplace safety" "personal safety" "abuse" for them to take it seriously because the last thing HR would want during a pandemic- is a lawsuit. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/20 08:11 PM |
| 41 | Say it louder for the back, sis 👏I told my mom the same thing recently and she just said "good." Even she caught on to the bullshit that our culture brings for women. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/11/20 03:21 PM |
| 2 | Been wondering for some time; how many neurodivergent women are here?I have ADHD. Diagnosed at 20 but I knew about it since 14 years old. I have never been medicated for it but instead took more of a natural route to treat it with meditation/mindfulness, breathework, yoga and much more. My symptoms are not noticible anyone these days, it just takes a lot of maneuvering and self awareness to work around it so that it doesn't affect daily life. Luckily its not been an issue for me in my dating life- but I also have generalized anxiety disorder which I definitely th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/10/20 04:31 PM |
| 118 | A first date unlike anything I've experienced before.Its stuff like this that gives me hope in men. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/10/20 10:09 PM |
| 1 | Would you tell a pickmeisha her bf is cheating/trying to cheat on her?I've done this before by showcasing dm screenshots. She believed me and thanked me for telling her the truth. Im not sure if she forgave him directly after but its better for them to know the truth even if they react badly to you. Its important they have proof because one day it may help them when they decide to break up with them. Otherwise guys will gaslight and say theres no proof. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/10/20 09:47 PM |
| 1 | Why tf do guys playfully hit women they are interested in? Signs of immature flirting and hood mentality.I didn't. I told him I'm not telling him my name again, I told other people around me not to tell him my name, I ignored him when he used childish behaviour to get my attention. He didn't get my ig or number when he asked. I wasn't uncomfortable because I've been through worse, I was just annoyed and left it at that because I'm not seeing him again. Besides I was having fun talking to the other workers I didn't let him ruin anything for me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/10/20 08:45 PM |
| 6 | Why tf do guys playfully hit women they are interested in? Signs of immature flirting and hood mentality.Yeah he thought that because I grew up in the same town hes in, that I would act like a hood girl and have low standards. Those types of men who brag about being from the hood legit have no ambition or value. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/10/20 02:04 PM |
| 15 | Why tf do guys playfully hit women they are interested in? Signs of immature flirting and hood mentality."So you're not going to play into my immaturity/jokes?" "You're just letting this go?" "So you don't care huh?" "That's how you react?!" Those are kind of other ways I see how men use "so its like that" depending on the context. My ex used that phrase when he found out I deleted his number after he broke up with me. He was surprised that I actually cut him out instead of trying to hold on to him. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/10/20 02:02 PM |
| 3 | Why tf do guys playfully hit women they are interested in? Signs of immature flirting and hood mentality.Pretty much, I kinda let it go at the time because I know I wouldn't likely see him again after this specific job. I don't mind subtle touches to kind of break into a comfortable touch barrier like the shoulder or small of the back. But poking and punching is just icky when the person isn't even reciprocating mutual attraction/feelings back. Its guys like this that lack total awareness. Edit: typos | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/10/20 01:56 PM |
| 2 | How easily do you orgasm?I used to grow up religious and was sexually respressed and I'm recovering from childhood body dysmorphia. This all seeped into my sex life during adult hood and I struggled with orgasming only because I wasn't comfortable around a man + in my own body. My boyfriend at the time did ALL the right things and it was difficult in the beginning but it finally happened when I worked through my blockages on my own and worked on relaxing. It can take a while depending on what the root of your specific i… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/09/20 07:28 PM |
| 14 | So I found a HVM and wanted to point out some of his early on green flags...I agree! Its also scary when you are focused on the present moment and he's talking waaaay into the future without knowing a lot about you. I'd question why a guy is so invested that far into the future without properly vetting me as well. Some guys who are desperate and insecure have a tendency to pace the relationship waay too fast because of fear of losing the attention. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/09/20 10:22 PM |
| 2 | When I read this I knew it belonged hereI just posted about asking advice on this subject and found this a minute after. Thank you 🥺 I needed this. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/09/20 02:40 AM |
| 5 | How do we feel about weddings?Omg exactly!!! My half sisters invited their CLEANING STAFF to my sixteeth birthday dinner when they found out we were covering dinner. Like shit like that makes me not want to host parties. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/09/20 06:33 PM |
| 7 | How do we feel about weddings?Being in a south asian family, people get so offended and take things so personally when you don't invite them to big events. Being the youngest, I'm constantly getting family members trying to arrange me to boys they think is good for me and its just too much pressure | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/09/20 04:50 PM |
| 14 | Men trying to get with you when they know you're in a relationship isn't flattery, it's an insult.I've had this happen to me so many times. The best response is " LOL YOU WANT ME TO LOWER MY STANDARDS TO BE WITH YOU????" ruin the idea in their head that made them think you would be willing to cheat with them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/09/20 04:03 PM |
| 46 | If men are 'more visual', why are they ugly?One time on a cruise, this guy hitting on me had the worse sunburn everywhere and he was red af. His face was peeling down and boy oh boy did I want to slather some spf on this man. As a girl with brown skin- I find it INCREDIBLY important to wear sunscreen. I don't know why men think they are stronger than the sun. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/09/20 02:32 AM |
| 23 | Any other ladies who had LV fathers who affected how they looked at men and what kind of spouse they potentially want?Horrible to my mom, cheats on her, treats her like a maid, and ruined her credit, constantly takes money from her. He even charges her when she asks for help for something related to making documents because she doesn't speak english as well as him. I see my moms whole head of hair is white from the stress of carrying this man since she was 16. It made me not want marriage in general and made me want a better life. She even stresses never to go for men like my father and to make sure I get someo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/09/20 02:21 AM |
| 26 | I swear to God I have a neon sign over my head.I'm 23 but I'm 4'11 and so I will look closer to a child then an adult woman so I get hit on by men younger than me, even though I prefer a little older than me because of maturity level. It can be a little difficult to navigate through ages when you can't tell, and men are less likely to care about a womans age as long as shes good looking to them, whereas for women it is way different than just that. Smart women know very well that the whole "age is nothing but a number" thing is absolute hors… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/09/20 12:12 AM |
| 3 | We need to be attached to a man to be worth an ounce of respectNaw when I used that when I did have a boyfriend, scrotes would try to convince me to leave him and that I haven't been with a "real man" (as if they know my relatiobship lol) & as if I would lower my standards to be with them like???? I tell them I'm lesbian because they know that they can't compete with vaginas. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/09/20 11:46 PM |
| 7 | Fresh out of abusive relationship, trying to heal. Constantly approached by men in public. Advice?This is what I usually do when strange men talk to me. look doe eyed and pretend I don't speak english and say with an accent "oh sorry no no english! Sorry!" pretend you dont hear them at all with your headphones in. call your friend to talk. I usually text them first and ask them to call me. try to be as unapproachable as possible. If you have sunglasses- wear them. Keep your arms crossed and uninviting. since we are in the covid era... start coughing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/09/20 11:35 PM |
| 13 | Simply want to thank you all for helping me confirm I’m not crazyCommunication + action = resolution. Often times men are not willing to communicate, and even if they do, there is no action towards fixing the issue which is the problem in itself. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/09/20 11:15 PM |
| 3 | How have you applied FDS principles to your friendships/family/work life?Omg do we have the same friend? My best friend is the exact same way with her LVM and says the exact same thing and she lowkey sometimes uses the amount of years they are together to jab me when she argues I don't know what I'm talking about when it comes to relationships because I'm single. Sorry for having standards sis while you date a jar of mayonnaise. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/09/20 09:21 PM |
| 11 | How have you applied FDS principles to your friendships/family/work life?Wooooah yikes thats a big no. She could have just did a separate trip with her husband. Why did it have to involve your solo plans? Thats so weird, did she expect you to pay or anything? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/09/20 04:01 AM |
| 6 | How have you applied FDS principles to your friendships/family/work life?I've had a few friends that are not pickmes or low value, but they just don't prioritize the connection anymore or things aren't the same. I loved hanging out with them and there is no beef but I would have to try so hard for them to hang out with me like before and it got to the point where I was like "damn... why am I trying so hard for someone who isn't as invested?" She has other friends that I guess she prefers hanging out and talking to more and I don't take it personally. I don't contact … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/09/20 03:59 AM |
| 3 | Trying to understand trauma bonding and why don't women don't leave when abused.Wow it seems crazy how all three men seem like the same guy almost. It must be incredibly traumatizing to experience boys like that. I mean for my particular case with my friends mom and my friend herself- they are fully aware that the men they are dating are not... high quality. Its a different case from my half sisters who are codependent and are abusive themselves' because they dont notice that type of behaviour is "wrong". I tell my friend that the behaviour she experiences is "gaslighting, … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/09/20 02:58 AM |
| 3 | Trying to understand trauma bonding and why don't women don't leave when abused.You explained it really well. Its like gambling. You earn very little wins here and there and become addicted to it even if you lose out everytime. & by the end of it, you want to win back all the money (effort) you put in because that feels like a bigger loss. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/09/20 01:58 AM |
| 2 | Trying to understand trauma bonding and why don't women don't leave when abused.Agree! I haven't had a lot of relationship experience with men (thank god for being hella picky) but I've had tooo00 much experience with low value friends, family, teachers, coworkers and the list goes on. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/09/20 12:11 AM |
| 3 | Trying to understand trauma bonding and why don't women don't leave when abused.Exactly, people also throw the word "compromise" around a lot and will make you feel bad if you aren't patient/understanding enough with someones "flaws" I hate the notion that "relationships are hard" and that if a woman isn't doing enough to keep it up then its her fault for not being a good partner. Its very common within my pickme friends to say "I compromise for his needs." But what does he do to compromise for you?!?!?! The answer is probably fucking nothing. It literally digusts me now wh… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/09/20 12:08 AM |
| 3 | Trying to understand trauma bonding and why don't women don't leave when abused.It's fascinating how we attach ourselves to things we don't need in life. Whether its fighting for a relationship thats disastrous or a environment that makes us sick. I totally understand your post, I have baby-ptsd from the work situation I was talking about from above. That validation from someone who sucks kinda makes you think you are a good person and that you add value. You don't think about the fact that nothing is being reciprocated back. I had a toxic ex best friend walk out of my life… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/09/20 11:21 PM |
| 5 | Trying to understand trauma bonding and why don't women don't leave when abused.I had a lot of open conversations with her about what abuse is and saying things like "that's so awful you had to go through something like that" when she would tell me things she would do for my dad in the past. In our culture, things like mental health and abuse are not talked about, but rather just a regular thing. Sympathizing with her past made her realize her past was worth sympathizing with. What truly clicked for my mom was when I spoke about my future and how I could never date someone … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/09/20 11:07 PM |
| 6 | Trying to understand trauma bonding and why don't women don't leave when abused.Did you have anyone around you who told you something was wrong about your relationship or did your friends make it seem like it was normal? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/09/20 10:58 PM |
| 2 | Trying to understand trauma bonding and why don't women don't leave when abused.I'm sorry to hear you went through that. Both my half sisters are in physically abusive relationships which is why I mentioned circumstantial situations like fear safety is obviously a huge factor. I would hate to fear my life because of my partner. If I was your friend in that situation- I would do my best to help you out of it when it happened. I try to tell my friend of certain FDS methods to help her see the situation, her mom and potentially her sisters from those dangers but she doesn't li… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/09/20 10:51 PM |
| 6 | Trying to understand trauma bonding and why don't women don't leave when abused.I'm sorry you had to go through that :( and I totally agree that this behaviour goes in cycles. All the marriages in my family are abusive and it was really hard for me to witness it, which is why I vowed to myself to break that cycle. It feels really challenging to make some people see the light in the way they are being treated. Good on you for getting out of that as soon as possible | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/09/20 10:47 PM |
| 8 | Trying to understand trauma bonding and why don't women don't leave when abused.What helps someone get to the state of being mentally okay to leave? It's just hard knowing that my friend has two younger sisters that can end up the same as her, her mom and brother. They are put in a really bad place because of this man | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/09/20 10:43 PM |
| 10 | Homeboy thought he could disrespect me on a date, so I walked out.This happened to me a few years ago when I went on my first ever date with a guy. He was super awkward in person and I had to carry the conversation during dinner. His OLD pictures didnt show his teeth and in real life he has stained gunk in his teeth. He convinced me to watch a movie with him after dinner ( not part of original plans) I couldn't think of an excuse fast enough so I said yes. He didnt ask what movie I wanted to watch- instead he picked a sequel to a movie I've never watched befor… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/09/20 02:30 AM |
| 62 | I told him I wanted a new necklace and some earrings so guess what he got me!Omg they are so pretty 😍 I bought myself some jewelry and finally got them in the mail today and I pretended I had a good boyfriend who got them for me. It's me. I'm boyfriend. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/08/20 11:07 PM |
| 4 | Recent increase in male anger/frustrationThat's what I originally associated with but unfortunately its incredibly misused. I have a platform where I write fiction, and 97% of my readers are female. There is a scene where the female characters ex boyfriend pays for her gym membership to make things easier for her... and half the comments are WOMEN calling him a simp. So I'm sure in a guys world...the word is even more thrown around and made so men have an excuse to mistreat women. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/08/20 05:00 PM |
| 69 | Recent increase in male anger/frustrationEver since the word "simp" became popular, it's being thrown around and making men feel bad about treating women with respect. It has become such a derogatory word for them they will avoid whatever it takes to not be called a simp. I was on a MrBeast binge the other day and saw an older video of him sending women on twitch money for the sake of respecting women and all the recent comments underneath are calling him a simp for it. I'm so worried for the next generation of men. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 09:10 PM |
| 27 | Ladies I messed up. I discovered FDS too late and now I have regrets. How can I overcome these?It's a learning experience unfortunately. You know better so you have the choice to do better in the future. I've kicked myself too for spending money on men for the sake of lOvE and I've also made bad investments in general for being young and stupid and desperate. After reading some personal finance books, I got smart about these things and learned not to get mad over a bad money mistake because its already happened. Regarding your ex... just pretend you donated to charity so you feel better a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 04:38 PM |
| 2 | In the absence of your own desire to improve yourself, lie to the allegedly superficial women who want an educated, driven partner. His post, my answer. The comments were a cesspool of twisted validation for him and denigration of her. I had to say something.Honest to god it's hard. I've been trying since we were fourteen to convince her to see the light. She unfortunately has incredibly low self esteem and has more of a fixed mindset vs a growth mindset. So she's emotionally codependent and deadset on being with this guy forever because she thinks there is no one out there for her. heavy sigh I eventually got to a point where I always change the subject whenever she talks about their sex life and how freaky they are. Having orgasm-less sex is never… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/08/20 03:36 AM |
| 3 | In the absence of your own desire to improve yourself, lie to the allegedly superficial women who want an educated, driven partner. His post, my answer. The comments were a cesspool of twisted validation for him and denigration of her. I had to say something.My bestfriend is pickme-ish. Her boyfriend of 7+ years is in my opinion INCREDIBLY low value and bummy. He has an addiction to cars and even lashes out on her when someone goes wrong with his car... and spends thousands upon thousands of dollars on his car but will take her to Mcdonalds for her birthday, and she's never experienced an orgasm before and treats her life a sex doll. On top of that? He's a custodian for the school district at twenty three (started at 20) and even judges my bestfrien… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 10:17 PM |
| 1 | Friends with LVM?Be picky with your friendships. I've had friendships that drained my soul and effected my good experience. When I let go of this ex bestfriend of six years who was pickmeisha af and negative about everything- I kid you not, my acne scars cleared up the week after. It does suck when someone was amazing when you first met, but we are all on different growth timelines and sometimes some people don't catch up to the place you are currently in. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/20 02:28 AM |
| 11 | Lol this guy’s funny, I want guys who are at least 6’2 and are very well-educated and between the ages of 24-28. I don’t care about quantity of matches lmaoOn OkCupid when I was doing the swipe thing, I was mostly swiping left and the top of the screen it would say "Wait! You missed a match!" If I wanted to match with them, I would have... oh I don't know? Swipe right? It's like the app is designed to make you feel desperate and valuing quantity over quality. I know what I want OkCupid, Jeffree with the shirtless photo whose bio says "send me a message first, I can't see likes!" Is not it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/08/20 03:25 AM |
| 2 | Have you ever had your career/job fetishized?I did the biggest eye roll reading his line | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/08/20 08:10 PM |
| 3 | Have you ever had your career/job fetishized?You can tell someone watches too much porn to be interested in your career for the sake of their penis. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/08/20 04:22 PM |
| 5 | Have you ever had your career/job fetishized?I'm def going to start doing that whenenever I get a chance to go on a plane again. I feel like flight attendants deal with A LOT of bullshit. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/08/20 04:17 PM |
| 8 | Have you ever had your career/job fetishized?Considering you are an elementary school teacher just makes the comments more gross. I can't believe people would imply you'd sleep with a fourth grader or something and make it seem "sexy"🤮 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/08/20 02:41 PM |
| 7 | Have you ever had your career/job fetishized?The flexible thing irks me so much! As if I will be willing to do contortion in the bedroom and hang from the ceiling like in cirque du Soleil -_-. This one guy asked through OLD what I do and I said I trained in dance and said "omg dancer? Thats so yummy😍 you're lucky I can help you as a dance partner because I have spanish in my blood ;)." Like boy sit down, if I needed a practice partner I'm not using someone who doesn't know what a pas de bouree is. I'd be working with someone who is trained… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/08/20 02:20 PM |
| 2 | What kind of man do you prefer dating: an introvert or an extrovert?Yeah, that's why I don't want to close the dating pool off extroverts, because if they were similar to my extroverted friends (similar to your tastes) then I wouldn't have much of a problem and compromise would be easier. I wouldn't want to date someone who doesn't go out at all, but I find the whole "must party every night" is something I don't find sustainable for myself. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/07/20 04:52 PM |
| 1 | What kind of man do you prefer dating: an introvert or an extrovert?A lot of my friends are extroverted too and I love hanging out with them only because they are able to lead hangouts better for sure, but I've noticed when it comes to dating its rather tiring because they constantly want to go out and almost "expect" you to always be willing and ready at any given moment | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/07/20 04:34 PM |
| 38 | Let's Revitalize This Discussion: Can Men Who Are Bad to Mediocre at Sex Significantly Improve? How Do They React When You Tell Them They're Bad at Sex?I've only been with one guy sexually in my entire life, which was my ex boyfriend and we were boyfriend/girlfriend when I lost my virginity. He's had previous experience but obviously hes working off what worker for his partners before me, and so a lot of his "techniques" didn't work on me given women are different. He always tried to make me orgasm first, but in result of that- I always felt rushed to finish, thus faking my orgasm. But I felt very guilty and I told him right away that I faked i… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/07/20 09:09 PM |
| 43 | Men will do whatever it takes to get in your pants. NEVER sleep with them before you get commitment!I also see a lot of men answer the question "would you be willing to have sex on the first date?" All with a yes. I have yet to see a profile that answered no to that question. Smh, I want a man with picky dick. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/20 09:50 PM |
| 2 | How did a guy ruin his chance with you before the first date?Ew yikes. I can't imagine what this man would be like this in person. You dodged a bullet, a train and a zombie apocalypse with this one. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/20 06:45 PM |
| 7 | How did a guy ruin his chance with you before the first date?Omg being "just friends" with straight men is almost near impossible these days. Your story is soooo unfortunately common :( the amount of friendships I had to lose because they couldn't keep it in their pants/caught feelings/ or just used the friendship title as a way of being romantic with me without having to actually take me out on dates... its bringing on so many flashbacks lol. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/20 06:42 PM |
| 10 | How did a guy ruin his chance with you before the first date?It seems more grimey to get condoms on the day of the date... if he thought he was getting some a descent guy would have protection prepared but its still fucked up to ask someone that | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/20 02:26 AM |
| 21 | How did a guy ruin his chance with you before the first date?W H A T T H E F U C K. Also... does he not understand how birth control works... or am I missing something. You would have to be on it for atleast a week for it to efficiently work. One time I had a guy friend who tried to use my vulnerability after my ex broke up with me in order to get with me... he asked to hang out so he can console me, we were at the mall and I told him I was on BC because the topic of my period came up and his freaking eyes LIT UP and he said "hold on, hold on, hold on... … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/20 01:02 AM |
| 8 | Sexism, sexism everywhere. If a guy treats your concerns/trauma like any of the four D's, tell him to hit the road.I've had women say this to me when I spoke out about abuse and set boundaries for work... ugh gaslighting and selfish people at its finest. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/20 12:55 AM |
| 16 | How did a guy ruin his chance with you before the first date?Another mentioned that he doesn't think most women communicate well- blocked, bye bye now! I find that the guys who say things like this are the ones who just haven't enhanced their ability to listen... or they just think with their penis. Like do you know how much women talk?? That's literally the reason we meet up together- to talk. & when we do communicate with them, they call it "nagging" smh or being "bossy" | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/20 12:49 AM |
| 14 | How did a guy ruin his chance with you before the first date?You can tell a lot about a man who claims to have an college education but somehow texts like a sixth grader. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/20 12:42 AM |
| 42 | How did a guy ruin his chance with you before the first date?ooooo oooooaaakyyy big strong career lady.” He went from sounding like an exquisite cultured man to highschool kid that wears ear plugs in 24/7 and gets detention every week. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/20 12:38 AM |
| 20 | How did a guy ruin his chance with you before the first date?Oh god, I would assume that people had the decency to not tell who they masturbate to. Like what would you even say to that? The fetishize race thing is also so weird... I know a guy who fetishized a religion. He wasn't muslim but always said he had a "thing" for muslim women... and when he was dating my muslim friend his version of "dirty talk" was telling her he'd tie her up and kidnap her. BIG YIKEES. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/07/20 11:01 PM |
| 21 | How did a guy ruin his chance with you before the first date?. He was broke and couldn’t afford the date so I was supposed to pay. This reminds me of a dinner date where the guy convinced me to watch a movie with him after... he then realized while we were purchasing tickets that he didn't have enough for both of us even with his student discount and I had to pay for us both for a trash movie where he felt up my thigh 10 minutes in. (This was my first date ever so I had no idea of the protocols for this stuff) But he wanted to show up with his belongings … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/07/20 10:58 PM |
| 19 | How did a guy ruin his chance with you before the first date?When a "man" busts the all caps out- you know you gotta run. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/07/20 10:51 PM |
| 1 | What does a HVM look like dating in the Covid Era?Yeah thats why I'm very unsettled with the idea of a park date :/so low effort and as an introverted girl- I don't leave the house to meet with someone unless I know the energy exchange is worth it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/07/20 01:26 PM |
| 1 | What does a HVM look like dating in the Covid Era?Yeah for sure, I wouldn't expect that nor would I feel comfortable doing so. There is this guy I'm talking to that hasn't made any plan to call or video chat but he does want to meet and hang at a park if I'm open to it, but normally I wouldn't settle for park dates but I understand the situation with covid is kind of weird. Not to mention he is off to a cottage with 12 of his friends (they apparently all got tested) I guess my best call right now is to pace it slower so I have more time to vet | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/07/20 04:49 PM |
| 1 | Why do men not know how to take flattering pictures?!So true!!! I was thinking this yesterday. I'm more excited to scroll through bumble bff because girls are so aesthetically pleasing and beautiful and get annoyed going my actual dating app where I have to scroll through gross pics of guys - sadly the gender I'm attracted to -______- | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/07/20 11:36 PM |
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