I thought this up, is it clever? "Does a woman who believes a man always pays view herself as a product or a partner?"

Dark_Moose · 2012-07-14T05:48:44+00:00

It is certainly a interesting concept that forces one to examine their belief structure on chivalry,sexual customs, objectification vs personification and even dating among other aspects. Try posing this question on R/Feminism to see their response in addition to ours.

As for my opinion, a woman who always makes the man pay, is either showing she willingly puts herself into a subservient position and not a equal partnership or that she does not consider my time worthy of the same level of respect as I do. Both of these are major turn offs and I have no reason to date them any more.

TexasSte · 2012-07-14T06:24:20+00:00

This is an interesting question. What about men who don't let a woman pay? I have never been allowed to pay for a date... though I have offered and been turned down everytime. I have had some men tell me that it would make them uncomfortable if I would pay. Granted I live in an area where men can easily make 3 to 4 times as much as I do. I make sure to always thank them and let them know I value them spending their hard earned money on me. I have never felt like a product because of it and have generally felt that I bring other things to the relationship... for example the last guy I dated worked extreamly long hours so he would never have time to cook or clean or do laundry so I would do all of that stuff for him. Might sound like traditional roles but it worked for us. (I make enough money to pay all my bills and live on my own so I'm talking strictly about dating scenarios)

HolyCounsel · 2012-07-14T12:30:58+00:00

It depends on whether she is faithful to her stereotypical role.

A woman's responsibilities were equal to a man's in pre-industrial society. She spent much of her adult life risking the dangers of pregnancy, and took care of all work around the home as well as raising the children. She surrendered all say in matters outside the home, whether it be financial, legal, or political.

But all of that has changed.

Maternal health is vastly improved and most women give birth a few times and do not lose their infants or die themselves. Modern kitchens, grocery stores, and household appliances have made homemaking a ridiculously simple occupation. Feminism has won the battle to give women complete rights to all legal, financial, and political decisions concerning them (although the right to abortion is still under fire).

So the question is - does this woman have something else to offer in order to make up for her smaller family and reduced time spent maintaining the home? Does she intend on letting the man make all the decisions without complaint or argument, without police or court? Is she willing to let her man similarly reduce his commitment to paid work and be satisfied with less money?

For most Western women today, of course, the answer to these questions is no. They offer to share the bill, to have jobs of their own, to be responsible for their own lives. But quite a few (the "man should pay" group) are not offering partnership if they cannot show what they offer in return to having things paid for them.

Bobsutan · 2012-07-14T09:10:29+00:00

My guess, most see themselves as "old fashioned", but is reality are just spoiled/have an entitlement attitude.

Jesus_marley · 2012-07-14T13:17:40+00:00

I've never seen paying as a direct gender thing myself. I've always viewed it as the person doing the asking is the one that pays. Granted I have done the majority of the asking (which is where the gender thing ties in) but I have also been asked and in those instances, my date pays. Even now, being married, my wife and I alternate with who pays when we go out.

Kirkayak · 2012-07-14T20:49:06+00:00

"Booty" means loot, but also female "goods".

rightsbot · 2012-07-14T05:36:17+00:00

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Title	I thought this up, is it clever? "Does a woman who believes a man always pays view herself as a product or a partner?"
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	2
Comments	9
Date	July 14, 2012 5:34 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/wjetd/i_thought_this_up_is_it_clever_does_a_woman_who/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/i-thought-this-up-is-it-clever-does-a-woman-who.1017960 https://theredarchive.com/post/1017960

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