So I'm new to all of this and I'm curious to see what you guys think about "chivalry".

rogersmith25 · 2012-07-13T21:37:14+00:00

There is a difference between chivalry and courtesy. I would extend the same courtesies to men as I would to women. If I opened a door, I would let a man walk through ahead of me, if it seemed convenient. If I saw a man struggling to carry something, I would offer to help.

Any woman who is upset that you offer to hold a door for her is clearly looking to pick a fight - just hold the door open for a man who is approaching behind her and she'll get the idea.

Actual chivalry is a two-way street. It requires both participants to be happy with the arrangement. The man has to be willing to be the gentleman as much as the woman has to be willing to be the "lady". I think that this dynamic can be healthy in a relationship, though a bit old-fashioned.

Please read to the end:

Chivalry is a trade-off. Some women who complain that men are not chivalrous towards them do not understand that they also have a role to play. For example, a woman who expects her man to carry heavy things, open doors, fix the house, pay for things, etc. needs to realize that, in turn, it is her job to make sure that a delicious meal is prepared every night and that the house is kept tidy.

There are innumerable ways that a couple can choose to divide the domestic and financial responsibilities. For example, my wife and I share home and work responsibilities equally, but others might be 70-30 where the wife has a higher paying job and the husband cooks more meals, or another where the husband does no house work and earns all the money. In some cases, one spouse is an excellent cook or perhaps one spouse is handy with plumbing and drywall. It makes no sense, given the skills of a couple, for each spouse to have to do 50% of everything.

So in some cases, a couple will be happiest and most fulfilled if both spouses take on a division of labor that falls into traditional gender roles. As long as both spouses are happy with this arrangement and have agreed to it, I think it can be a sign of a happy and respectful relationship.

rightsbot · 2012-07-13T19:16:17+00:00

Post text automatically copied here. (Why?) (Report a problem.)

GREATBIGDICK · 2012-07-13T19:55:15+00:00

I don't care about chivalry. Just normal decency. If i see a woman behind me when I walk through a door, I'm gonna hold it for her, whether she wants me to or not. I usually pay my way when I go places, but I'll pay for a friend if she doesn't have all the money she needs (I'll pay for a ticket, for example. Not a ticket, drinks, and popcorn). It's just being a good person. I'll do it for almost anyone.

Bobsutan · 2012-07-14T01:28:45+00:00

Chivalry is sexism. The end.

2012-07-14T03:24:48+00:00

The notion is ridiculous and sexist.

truthjusticeca · 2012-07-13T19:25:26+00:00

I don't think you will be surprised about MRM opinions about chivalry.

Equal rights is a double edged sword and feminism killed chivalry.

jenny451 · 2012-07-14T02:24:43+00:00

Women, like men, are individuals. Some women will not conform to your expectations about equality and some men are misogynists.

Just because some women apply society's rules selectively does not mean that you are being treated any more unfairly than just about anyone else in the world.

Title	So I'm new to all of this and I'm curious to see what you guys think about "chivalry".
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	0
Comments	14
Date	July 13, 2012 7:14 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/wihvu/so_im_new_to_all_of_this_and_im_curious_to_see/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/so-im-new-to-all-of-this-and-im-curious-to-see.1018000 https://theredarchive.com/post/1018000

Comments