Advice Needed, Dealing with Child Support Issues?

chavelah · 2011-12-14T11:30:47+00:00

Typically, there is no way to get out owing back support, EVEN IF THE CUSTODIAL PARENT WANTS THE DEBT ERASED. Even though your boyfriend and his sister are grown now, his dad still owes his mom the debt he accrued back when she was taking care of them and he was living in another state and not paying support as ordered.

Was the amount unreasonably high? Quite possibly. Should a modification have been awarded when his circumstances changed? Quite likely. But that's all in the past and no court is going to touch it. Unless your boyfriend's dad is prepared to expat, he needs to pay off his child support debt.

It sucks, but there it is.

JeremiahMRA · 2011-12-14T10:41:13+00:00

So I assume the ex-wife is not your boyfriend's mom? If she was, I'd say your boyfriend should tell her she better shape the fuck up if she wants to every see him again.

womblefish · 2011-12-14T11:48:03+00:00

If both "children" are over 20 I'm pretty sure the father shouldn't be paying child support any more. Most places I know of child support stops at 18 or 19.

From what you've told us I'd guess what his Dad is paying off is arrears from the time when he couldn't afford the full payment. As far as I'm aware there is no time limit on this. However he should at least have a definite total amount that he owes.

The court won't lower the child support payments, because child support stopped when your boyfriend (& sister) turned 19. The payments he's making now are the one he couldn't afford to pay years ago.

As for clearing out the bank account, I don't know Colorado law, but I know here it's possible for the court to order garnishment of wages, or seizing of assets (including access to bank accounts). Essentially the ex-wife didn't take money from the bank herself, she went to the child support agency, who went to the court and got a judge to order the bank to do it.

As for why the court trusts her... Well I could start on about how women are heavily favoured in family court etc, but in this particular case it's not really a matter of trust. From the courts point of view your boyfriends father agreed to pay / was ordered to pay "X" amount of child support per month. And he has been unable to do so. I assume there's no disputed over how much money he has actually paid, in which case trust isn't really an issue.

I hate to sound unhelpful, but the child support system is completely lacking in any form of compassion for the paying father.

I do have a couple of suggestions, but none of them are going to be a miracle cure...

1) Is there any chance of negotiating a reasonable payment schedule with your sons mother? (He doesn't have many options)

2) If his father knows the total amount owing, would it be possible to get a bank loan, pay off the outstanding child support as a lump sum, and then pay the money back to the bank? (I know banks charge interest, but they're a lot more reasonable to deal with than child support collection agencies.

3) Can he get an out of state bank account, or keep any money in a bank account in your boyfriends name? (I assume you boyfriend has no-one that could seize money from his bank account.)

4) Can he get a job that pays cash or under the table? Or at least has benefits that don't show up on a bank account.. (Like working at a restaurant and getting free meals.)

Bobsutan · 2011-12-14T14:10:43+00:00

What can my boyfriend's dad do?

Nothing. It's getting to the point that whenever onerous child support judgement like this happen, the only valid recourse will be going expat. If you don't, you risk ending up in the dad's situation: broke, destitute, and at best at risk of going to debtor's prison, or at worst homeless and thinking about suicide. Fuck. Everything. About that.

Don't get me wrong, there's stuff he can do to help such as the things other posters have mentioned, but the honest truth is that he's at risk of going to jail for a very long time over this. Personally if I had been sold into slavery like he was I'd be looking to escape somehow. If that means fleeing the country then so be it.

If you want to learn about why this was all allowed to take place, read the book Taken Into Custody. I've found there's no better book on the subject:

http://www.amazon.com/Taken-into-Custody-Fatherhood-Marriage/dp/1581825943

neofool · 2011-12-15T08:31:25+00:00

Obligatory Posting: Don't take legal advice from the internet.

shitredditsays · 2011-12-14T16:33:24+00:00

A few years ago, feminists became hysterical and convinced yet another Democrat, Senator Bill Bradley, that there was an epidemic of fathers running willy nilly to judges and having arrears reduced. Even if for legitimate reasons, this was to them, absolutely unacceptable.

Enter the federal Bradley Bill, which effectively takes discretion away from all judges which means that for no reason EVER, shall judges adjust arrears once they are racked up. This was the mistake Rep. Joe Walsh made, when he was ordered for years to pay more than he even made annually, he assumed a judge change would adjust it later. Nope, wrong, once it's an arrear, you owe forever. Defense contractors have been held hostage in Iraq by terrorists, then come home and been immediately arrested for not paying child support while they were a hostage.

The situation sucks, but thank a liberal. Your best bet is to have your boyfriend try to manipulate his mom Machiavellian style and get some of the money, because the state, thanks to Bill Bradley, is going to make sure she gets it.

Title	Advice Needed, Dealing with Child Support Issues?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	7
Comments	14
Date	December 14, 2011 10:11 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/nc90o/advice_needed_dealing_with_child_support_issues/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/advice-needed-dealing-with-child-support-issues.1030574 https://theredarchive.com/post/1030574

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