Iama man that was falsely accused of physical and mental abuse by an ex-girlfriend.

Kuonji · 2011-09-01T17:51:07+00:00

Women are a victim class in our society. If your troubles don't fit within that narrative, then getting justice is like putting toothpaste back into the tube.

thetrollking · 2011-09-01T18:40:50+00:00

That sucks man.

I have had similiar things happen with ex gfs, never got to court or anything like that though. Maybe it is regional or due to class or poverty or education or family structure or whatever but I have seen this sort of thing happen so many times. Not usually with it ending up in court, not that I know of anyways. Well, except one time.

This false allegation was a bit different. It involved two people in my clique in HS. One was a cheerleader and a promise keeper and the other a a fairly normal guy. He was two and something years older than her and had promised to be a promise keeper too. Well, needless to say that it didn't take long before she was bragging to girls in the group about how she lost her virginity.

A few months later they were both caught after school behind a storage shed, a place we would sneak out to smoke cigs and weed sometimes, having sex. She didn't want to get into trouble with her hardcore christian parents so she said he forced her. The school cop, a female, believed her and called the regular sherrifs and the school principle(who later got moved to a different district after getting caught fucking his secretary) even helped interrogate him in the school room and then down the street at the police station without a parent or guardian(maybe the principle was the guardian, IDK) for apparently hours beforee his parents were called.

She later recanted because she didn't want her bf, of over a year, to be in jail. Her parents were pissed and tried to pursue statutory rape charges against him. He was released and the entire thing went on for weeks.

Finally, her parents and his parents talked with the DA and they dropped all charges. She, along with his parents, went to his house to tell him the good news. They found him hanging in the closet with a bag over his head.

And you know what? More than half of his friends and our peer group thought she was the victim here. Within a week I stopped talking to dozens of people. The few people from HS that I will talk to on FB every now and then are the few that saw him as the victim. One even tried to sue the principle but was threatened with being kicked out of school right before her graduation. So fucked up. No one was charged with anything or served any time in jail except him. So fuckin glad I got out of that small town.

Sorry, I don't have a question really. This shit happens much more than people think. Feminists and MRAs will argue back and forth over what percentage of rape or abuse claims are false but those all have to do with things that go to court or end in a conviction or get reported to crime stats. This character assasination happens all the time without ever being reported to the police.

The guy I just spoke about was 17 and some change and she was under 16 but not over the two year difference and I was told that they threatened him in some fucked up ways. Telling him how he would be raped in prison, how his life was over and so on.

Shit, I got arrested at 17 for pot and while I was being processed they literally told me that If I was a few months older I would be keeping bubba warm in Brushy Mountain State within the week. The female judge I went infront of said that if she ever saw me again she would throw the book at me and give me the maximum sentence and this was all because I worked out a plea deal with the DA before going to court that she didn't know about.

I honestly think some of it may be overcompensation. Of all the hardcore and hateful judges I have heard about all but two of them are women in my area. These range from family court to juvenile to traffic court.

We tend to focus on how feminism destroys things on a macro level but I think it is worse on a micro level. A while later I was dating my HS crush and her mom was three times divorced and the head of the local feminist and democratic chapter. She found out that I was calling myself pro-feminist at the time and then regailed me with stories about how she worked as a clerk at the local courthouse.

She would tell me about "accidentally" losing forms that divorced and separated and non-married fathers would drop off and all kinds of fucked up other shit. That woman was literally insane, even her daughter thought so(my gf, who told me about her experience with Parental Alienation Syndrome).

Ironically, that same gfs aunt, on her dads side, worked at the police station and I helped her get in touch with her long lost father and then got to hear her stories while working at the local police station.

She had these wicked long nails. She would brag to me, her brother my gfs dad used to be a cop and apparently one of the few honest ones, about how she would volunteer to do the cavity searches just to make it extra painful.

Wanna know the ironic part?

That same gf later cheated on me, after I got her away from her meth cooking brother, with one of my friends. She ofcourse told me that he raped her. It fucked me up so much. I kept trying to get her to press charges. I even planned on killing the bastard. I literally got my hands on a illegal gun but then chickened out.

We moved on. We moved to the city and I got her into college. Literally. I could go on and on about the things I did for her. I dated her for about 3 years too. I literally dragged her out of a crashed car after she ran off the road into a large ditch and the reason I did was because her meth head brother was having his meth cooking friends follow her around because she didn't want her nieces growing up in a home with a crazy woman and her meth head son, her half brother, and I was following her home.

Anyways. We move about 40 minutes away to the city, she lived in a county next to my shit hole county that was even more shitty.

What happens? She cheats on me again and this time I didn't fall for the rape lie. I question her and later learn that the first lie wasn't the only time she cheated on me. We break up, I am devasted and she is sociopathicall cruel and cool headed.

A few weeks later, I have made new friends and she basically dropped out of college to move on with this guy we both went to HS with but was still living in the dorms. I had hooked up with a big titted girl at a party and she saw me with her a few days before this. Anfyways, being 21/22 my freshman year I could get beer when most could and I got on the elevator in the dorm with a hidden 12 pack and head to my buddies room for some halo and weed. Two girls get on.

I try to flirt and play cool and I find out immediately that they know exactly who I am because she spread rumors all through the female dorm about how I abused her and raped her. Nothing legal happened but getting that stink eye from random women I have never seen before was crazy. Especially since this is a university with 38k people.

Ofcourse she did the thing where she fucked a few guys and then tried to get back together with me. I sent her all her stuff and erased every memory and token of her from my life. She sent my belonging back shredded. Including pictures I had painted, my sketchbooks, and photos I had from living in Egypt. Even destroyed a guitar my grandma got for me.

Anyways. Things worked out for me. Last I saw her she had all sorts of marks up and down her arms and was doing all sorts of fucked up drugs with her new BF. I haven't seen her since, thank fucking god.

I did hear from a friend that I went to HS with on FB that she went off the deep end and started using oxy. He told me that she was on oxycodone to get off of her oxcycontin addiction. My former manager told me he put out warrants for her arrest because she passed a bunch of bad checks. I also know she defaulted on her student loans, because they kept calling me cause I was listed on the forms.

Anyways man, sorry for ranting in your IAMA. I just want to point out that you aren't alone and just meeting one of these fucking psycho crazy bitches is enough to fuck up your life in so many ways. I honestly consider myself somewhat lucky. About the best I can say is to pick up and re-invent yourself and get some help anyway you can.

The really fucking Ironic part for me was that it wasn't until a few years later that I snapped out of my feminist upbringing and realized that it isn't one or two feminists who do bad things. It isn't one rotten apple in the bunch. It is a bunch of rotten apples with a occasional good one here or there. That is why they are so determined to silence our stories.

The crazy thing for me is that it took my best friend brad to kill himself before I was even able to question whether it was endemic or not. I can literally count more than 10 guys I have known that died from suicide and I honestly try not to count anymore cause I always forget one or two. It was seeing my friend brad go through some fucked up shit with his divorced mom and a ex, not a false rape but still horrible, that made me wake up at the age of 25 and ask some questions. Since then I have spent about 2.5 years devouring all the male and feminist and MRM info I can find.

Good luck. Don't really know what else to say and I have ranted enough. I will say to be much much more cautious with any other woman you let into your life. I would rather be alone than stick my dick in crazy again.

cooj · 2011-09-01T18:01:11+00:00

That's a terrible situation to be in, I'm sorry about that man. Unfortunately for me I wasn't lucky enough to see the crazy until a few years after I got married to my high school sweetheart. I dealt with almost the exact same thing though.

After I found out she had been cheating on me for over a year, she looked pretty bad in the eyes of the few family members and friends we chose to tell. I didn't find out until it was too late that she was telling people that I was physically and "emotionally" abusive. Apparently her way of telling her friends/family that she cheated was to explain her affair by making up things about me that weren't true. Her friends and family still think of me as an abusive person. She would tell them that I would hold her down on the bed for hours at a time and not let her go, that I would lock her out of the house at night, that she felt like I forced her to have sex when she never really wanted to, etc. In reality though, I never did anything like that. I can truly say I've never exercised any sort of physical or mental control over a woman to get what I want in any way. Early on some of her friends pushed her to go to the police, but she always said no. I don't even want to imagine what would have happened if she went to the police. I'd probably be in jail because she fucked another dude and couldn't own up to her mistake.

Odin_13 · 2011-09-01T18:41:18+00:00

Makes me truly wish I was gay.

ag0342 · 2011-09-01T18:03:57+00:00

So people believed her with her having no bruises or anything? That's insane. You have my sympathy.

TheRealPariah · 2011-09-02T02:11:55+00:00

The greatest thing is that you actually lose civil liberties as a result of some lying bitch making the accusation of anything. Welcome to our system!

iswallowgum · 2011-09-01T18:44:10+00:00

This is why men and women will never be equals, they take advantage of the sexism and injustice they claim belittles them. Such hypocrisy.

Darkling5499 · 2011-09-01T19:53:31+00:00

according to feminism, you beat her and raped her. evidence not required. you are a male, therefor you are in the wrong.

Guy51234 · 2011-09-01T19:09:58+00:00

Welcome to your moment of realization of your place in our society because you have a penis.

The way your life turns out from here on in depends on your level of intelligence and what you learn from this.

If your smart you'll learn that this is how it is in all your interactions with others from now on.

The only reason your not in a cage is because your ex's enforcer, the judge, could not put you there without losing his job.

To him your an animal. To our whole society, because your a male your less than human.

Don't get married, don't have children if your smart.

Title	Iama man that was falsely accused of physical and mental abuse by an ex-girlfriend.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	16
Comments	40
Date	September 1, 2011 5:29 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/k1i05/iama_man_that_was_falsely_accused_of_physical_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/iama-man-that-was-falsely-accused-of-physical-and.1035133 https://theredarchive.com/post/1035133

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