Question for MR in regards to holding open doors

Quazz · 2011-03-29T16:10:52+00:00

Usually so the person holding the door can go in and the person going in after can hold it open for the people coming in after that person. At least that's what I usually do when the door is held for me.

I don't usually hold doors, unless I see someone definitely going to go through it, regardless of gender I may add.

anonymousdude22 · 2011-03-29T17:57:04+00:00

don't care if you're a man, don't care if you're a woman, I'm going to hold the door open behind me if you are in proximity.

pakmanishere · 2011-03-29T16:00:50+00:00

It's just common sense to hold the door for the person behind you, but completely unnecessary to go out of your way to open a door and wait for women to pass through first.

GreatWhiteFork · 2011-03-29T16:31:32+00:00

Anybody want to clarify why some men refuse to walk through a door if it's held open by a woman

Because chivalry is a set of rules and part of those rules is 'men open doors for women, women don't open doors for men'. The guys doing this are probably trying to be nice. They also have the modern dilemma of guessing what part of chivalrous/gentleman behaviour is good and what parts are sexist and bad... as different women will get offended when a door is opened for them and others will become offended when it isn't opened for them many guys are reduced to guessing and hoping for the best.

Personally I have abandoned all chivalrous/'gentleman' behaviour. Some women get offended by that but I really don't give a shit what they think.

The whole point of chivalry is that it gave women extra privileges based on the old gender roles to balance the privileges men had. If men don't have those privileges then chivalry is outdated.

Rephlex · 2011-03-29T18:31:04+00:00

I hold the door for men, I hold the door for women.
If a door is held for me by a man, I go through and say "thank you."
If a door is held for me by a woman, I go through and say "thank you."

To do otherwise would be discrimination.

hydrogen18 · 2011-03-29T18:46:35+00:00

Mostly because the women who are shorter than me don't have the physical body weight to open some of the doors around here and will spend 6 to 7 seconds figuring out how to push it open. It is far simpler for me to just grab it with my hand and open it all the way.This is because the door closing device on it is misconfigured to exert far too much force. On the first day of a college semester I watched a girl do exactly what I expected would happen: she flicked the door open a bit and tried to kind of zip in. It actually pinned her in the door, unable to move, although she did not appear hurt. I opened the door so she could proceed into the building and she said 'Thanks' while looking slightly embarassed.

SuicideNote · 2011-03-29T22:25:52+00:00

Living in the South. Whoever is at the door first holds the door regardless of gender.

AnnArchist · 2011-03-29T16:39:26+00:00

I hold it for everyone if I get there first. If someone said something about it to me, I would rail them for it.

What usually pisses me off, however, is when I get to a door before a guy and hold the door open, and he does something stupid like grab the door above me (I'm short. It ain't hard to do) and motions me in...

Babe, you are holding up the line.

spagma · 2011-03-29T18:55:53+00:00

I cant speak for all, but I was taught to hold the door open for the ladies. I have, on many occasions, done exactly as you stated. At this point it is second nature to me, it is how I was raised. A few times I have walked through a door being held open for me by a woman, but only if it is someone I do not know, and I am sure to thank them for it.

CertainlyHeisenberg · 2011-03-29T19:35:00+00:00

I'm guilty of this, I'll admit, but only in specific circumstances. The type of action I describe as door holding is when someone in the doorway holds, with a hand, or wedges, with a foot, the door open for me as I approach the door. I generally grab the door from them as soon as I'm close enough because I cannot pass through the doorway that they are currently occupying if they continue to hold the door. If they're standing behind the door I will simply pass through. I can see how you would be somewhat insulted by a man who insists that you go through in the second case, though.

ghebert001 · 2011-03-29T19:42:30+00:00

Maybe some of those guys have it so ingrained in them that it's always "ladies first". Saying that you "expect it" is wrong. Don't expect special treatment, just be appreciative of when you do get treated as special.

Bobsutan · 2011-03-30T03:36:14+00:00

Anybody want to clarify why some men refuse to walk through a door if it's held open by a woman?

They're stupid? Sexist perhaps?

Title	Question for MR in regards to holding open doors
Author	GreatWhiteFork
Upvotes	2
Comments	23
Date	March 29, 2011 3:58 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/ge02p/question_for_mr_in_regards_to_holding_open_doors/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/question-for-mr-in-regards-to-holding-open-doors.1041637 https://theredarchive.com/post/1041637

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