Lies Men Tell Themselves in Order to Stay in Abusive Relationships

hybridthm · 2011-02-11T12:53:16+00:00

very good article, though many of the points are gender neutral, i think that if anything makes it better

kurfu · 2011-02-11T14:15:36+00:00

I wish I would have seen this 18 months ago before I bought the house and the ring. Fortunately, I finally realized why I was so absolutely miserable all the time... I dodged the bullet and booted her last September.

...well, at least I still have the house and the ring. Anybody wanna buy a nice ring?

nomowolf · 2011-02-11T12:14:07+00:00

saved, to communicate better than I ever could to a friend at some future date, or perhaps to read myself.

I'm genuinely heartened to see it written by a highly qualified woman who's previously worked in a women’s domestic violence crisis center and shelter. It suggests she sees these as battles equally worth fighting for.

2011-02-11T14:52:12+00:00

Please, any man out there who is reading this and see this happening to you...check this out as well. If your GF/wife makes the checklist you better think about how to get the hell out before she literally screws up your mind for the rest of your life! http://shrink4men.wordpress.com/2009/01/21/relationships-with-borderline-narcissistic-personality-women/

fondueguy · 2011-02-11T18:03:23+00:00

If I just work a little harder at the relationship, it will get better.

I've seen that type of thing when other were giving advise to men in a physically abusive relationship. There were alot of people giving excuses for his partner and some were even saying do special things for that person... basically make him work harder and reward her violence towards him.

(Women in abusive relationships may also get stuck but I dont see such bullshit responses to their concerns)

pipsqeek · 2011-02-11T21:28:26+00:00

Fuck, this is so written for me. :(

OktopuzZz · 2011-02-11T16:36:38+00:00

I have used some of those in the past...=(

uranus_is_heinous · 2011-02-11T20:36:36+00:00

I too wish I had seen this earlier - like 1999 or so. It's a strange place to be when you're a male on the receiving end of physical and emotional abuse. Once my wife actually got arrested for attacking me with a phone (not Naomi Campbell style - this is back in the old days when phones had cords and serve as a surprisingly effective bludgeons when swung) I figured she'd realize there was a real issue and get some treatment. The psychiatrist she ultimately saw prescribed lithium which she thought was outrageous and never took the pills or sought more therapy. ANYWAY, I was surprised at how welcome I was made at the local women's shelter. I thought the LAST thing they'd want to see would be a man in their group, but as soon as they heard my stories I got understanding nods and fellowship. And support that allowed me to finally get away. Now I can spot sneaky anger a mile away and avoid it at all costs. There are a lot of angry women out there who may have good reason to be pissed at the world, but to project that anger on a partner is unacceptable. You really ARE better than that and you really DO deserve better, no matter what she might say.

bobmighty · 2011-02-11T21:44:35+00:00

Wish I'd read that article in high school.

Title	Lies Men Tell Themselves in Order to Stay in Abusive Relationships
Author	hotsauce285
Upvotes	43
Comments	15
Date	February 11, 2011 8:28 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/fjc9x/lies_men_tell_themselves_in_order_to_stay_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/lies-men-tell-themselves-in-order-to-stay-in.1043281 https://theredarchive.com/post/1043281

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