My girlfriend always found a reason not to have sex. When she finally agreed, I cried off. Now she says I'm gay

fondueguy · 2010-11-27T06:29:18+00:00

Sound like self advocating from a woman.

I can understand your desire to retaliate after being rejected so many times yourself, but if you want to be sexual with this woman you have to choose between being a smart aleck and a lover

Translation: only her feelings matter; as for you get over yourself

many women need time to trust a person enough to allow intimacy, so her excuses may have been due to fear and not being ready. Many women first need to emotionally bond with a partner, so try to be understanding.

Trust is so important to her? That's why she lied to him, tagged him along, then called him a fag for rejecting sex once. Ya she's really developing bonds of trust...

but remember she was seeking to avoid losing the element of control that, at this point, she seems to need.

Id suppose he was finally taking some controll for himself, but when things aren't entirely on her terms she lashes out and calls him a fag. Good for him!

Damn, the level of self advocating pwned as column advise is repulsive.

mean0dean0 · 2010-11-27T07:17:07+00:00

Good for him. Relationships should be about intimacy, not control, power plays, or dominance-by-seduction.

Elesia · 2010-11-27T13:05:09+00:00

What she did was totally out of line and incredibly rude. He had every right to beg off for any reason.

Nobody should be expected to perform on command except a paid professional.

If you want decent sex advice, go read Dan Savage.

kachapati · 2010-11-27T06:12:05+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2010-11-27T23:23:05+00:00

Women absolutely have the right not to have sex. However men have the right to dump women who refuse sex, too.

The guilt trip women apply to men who try to assert that right is a system of control we've been conditioned to accept.

Fight that conditioning, because she won't change - and she will rationalize it not as "leveraging sex over you" but as "not being in the mood when she's upset because she didn't get her way, so she's not happy, and if she's not happy she's not in the mood." Right or wrong no longer applies there and her attitude isn't going to change - so dump her and move on.

Title	My girlfriend always found a reason not to have sex. When she finally agreed, I cried off. Now she says I'm gay
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	14
Comments	8
Date	November 27, 2010 2:51 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/ecbbz/my_girlfriend_always_found_a_reason_not_to_have/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/my-girlfriend-always-found-a-reason-not-to-have.1045658 https://theredarchive.com/post/1045658

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