Approach Anxiety

fnordsnord · 2016-05-02T18:04:52+00:00

Try this: start small. Forget approaching or verbal openers for now. Just smile. Walk down the street. Make eye contact. Smile. Then move on. People like being smiled at, women included. Many will smile back. This might give you confidence.

MeatCurtainRod · 2016-05-02T18:05:06+00:00

Start small. Speak with a cashier. Speak with a salesgirl. They are obligated to smile and answer your questions. The are NOT dating material. Get comfortable with this idea of not all women being pieces of meat that you can potentially put your dick in.

AZTRP · 2016-05-02T18:07:59+00:00

There's a little known book called "Rejection Proof", I've met the author, Jia Jiang, an unassuming chinese guy that one day said 'fuck it' and challenged himself. He has a youtube channel that documents a lot of his experiment. He basically would ask people for ridiculous things that most people would EXPECT someone to say no to. A surprisingly large amount of people would say yes.

The book is not manosphere or Red Pill related, but should be.

If you don't want to read the book or watch the videos for inspiration then the short practical answer is: just do it with detachment to the outcome.

Personally, there's been periods in my life where I needed retraining in approaching. I would go somewhere public (like a mall), or throughout the day at various places, and say hi to any girl that was not accompanied by someone else. I'd say hi (or whatever), if they responded then I'd strike up a short conversation (intended to only last a minute or so), then once I noticed there was eye contact and a smile, I'd say something along the lines of "Hey, I gotta run and meet some friends, give me your number and I'll hit you up later" (or whatever phrasing you're comfortable with) then just hold your phone out (or hand them a receipt and a pen).

Later I'd just throw the numbers away to practice detachment.

The next level up is to say hi to pairs of girls and do the same thing.

quicklogaccount · 2016-05-02T18:09:55+00:00

Approach anxiety got me to seek therapy. I had this association that if I got fit enough women would jump all over me, but they never did. I still had to approach and I would freeze, even if she had IOId the hell out of me.

I'll suggest two approaches, I've used them both, both of them worked for me, with girls under my league though.
1 - Have someone else to do the approach for you. If you've been lifting consistently and can dress properly, there will be a girl that will make out with you for little more than "hi". I went to a LGBT friendly bar (those guys' promiscuity is famous here) and had a more outgoing friend to do the talking.
2 - Go online. RPillers advise against it because it is inefficient , but we're all internet geeks, we all know game and PUA, and you'll be outcome independent while gaming girls by text. Plus she won't read your nervousness, you'll have time to think and be witty and you can pretty much game her to nearly down to fuck, to the point that when you meet any stupid kiss gambit will jump start kino escalation;

Funny thing about approach anxiety is that it's something we're hardwired to have but these days that's all that it, some old circuitry serving no real purpose. There's no way to bypass it (they say beta blockers do it but I never tried) but if you're confident, it doesn't take a lot of success to be able to walk through it, after all it wasn't designed to impair you from mating. :)

BeHere2234 · 2016-05-08T12:42:39+00:00

Find something else you are anxious about. Find a way to deal with your anxiety, and test it on that. Once you find something that works, approach your "approach" anxiety the same way.

Title	Approach Anxiety
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	22
Date	May 2, 2016 5:29 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4hiqn6/approach_anxiety/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/approach-anxiety.104852 https://theredarchive.com/post/104852

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