Dan Savage; You're a douche if you don't like the idea of your GF or wife flirting with and making out with other guys.

Mesca · 2010-01-08T01:50:40+00:00

In some relationships flirting with someone who is not your partner is ok, in some it's not.
Making out? That would cross a line for most people, I think.

fallentree · 2010-01-08T00:56:47+00:00

Have you ever heard a women called a bitch because she was upset with a guy for the same? No, the guy is a douche in that scenario too.

cynwrig · 2010-01-08T16:34:54+00:00

Sigh. Its a sad world when trust, discipline and chastity are criticized and self-indulgence, betrayal and risk are applauded.

The Douche

grantmclean · 2010-01-08T00:51:42+00:00

I normally agree with Dan on a lot of things, but flirting is cheating, there's no grey area there.

catlebrity · 2010-01-08T16:06:08+00:00

Does he also tell women that they should be a-ok with their husband/etc making out with other girls?

What's good for the goose....

rmbarnes · 2010-01-08T03:15:33+00:00

"The aggressive flirting could be a problem—if your wife is flirting at all aggressively. I'm wary of accepting your characterization of her behavior at face value, STH, as your overreaction to the kiss leads me to believe that you might not be rational about your wife's behavior generally. Where you see getting too near, dancing too close, and being too friendly, a slightly less paranoid/controlling spouse might see innocent flirtatiousness. But if she agrees that her flirting is indeed a problem—if for no other reason than it bothers her husband—and she's willing to tamp it down for your sake, you should "forgive her and move on," by which I mean "YOU SHOULD CEASE BEING SUCH A FUCKING ASSHOLE about (1) the kiss and (2) the flirting and (3) the fucking kiss already."

That said, STH, I wouldn't want to be married to a man who claimed to love me but couldn't forgive me for something so trifling as a meaningless kiss. So I'm not sure I'm doing your wife any favors by talking you off the ledge. Honestly, STH, someone who is hesitant to forgive is hardly husband material. A successful marriage is basically an endless cycle of wrongs committed, apologies offered, and forgiveness granted, STH, all leavened by the occasional orgasm. If you're having such a hard time forgiving her for this piddling "betrayal," STH, you're not cut out for marriage and your wife may want to run away before it's too late." - Dan Savage, from the article in question.

I'm going to side with Savage on this one - his response is measured and rational. The OP's title in this thread miss-characterized Savage's reasoning.

Merican · 2010-01-08T07:24:49+00:00

Why would anyone give a fuck what Dan Savage says or thinks? He's obviously too stupid to live --> "Savage initially supported the Iraq war and advocated military action against other Middle Eastern states, including Iran and Saudi Arabia, saying, "Islamo-fascism is a regional problem, like European fascism – and the Middle East [has] to be remade just as Europe was remade."

oconostota · 2010-01-08T13:48:58+00:00

Hahahaha fuck you Dan, you don't know shit.

cryptogirl · 2010-01-08T09:38:44+00:00

I'm sorry, but cheating happens. You can either embrace it, ignore it, or live your life feeling eternally betrayed. Relationships should be about love and intimacy, not exclusive territorial rights over your partner's body.

Title	Dan Savage; You're a douche if you don't like the idea of your GF or wife flirting with and making out with other guys.
Author	fallentree
Upvotes	12
Comments	48
Date	January 8, 2010 12:43 AM UTC (16 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/amxcg/dan_savage_youre_a_douche_if_you_dont_like_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/dan-savage-youre-a-douche-if-you-dont-like-the.1051283 https://theredarchive.com/post/1051283

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