Hey, I´m 20 years old and was about to lose my virginity some nights ago. We matched on Tinder 6 months ago, texted a bit and I always pushed for a date and didn´t take this encounter too seriously. She has a pretty nice face and is pretty photogenic, but a little chubby, about 6.5/10.

About a week ago she texted me outta nowhere, which led me to believe she probably broke up with a boyfriend and is now looking for some no strings attached fucking.

So we randomly met at a college party (we actually had a date set in place for the day after), talked for a bit, I took her to the bar, we started making out for about 30 mins and I went back to my friends. As the party started to wrap up, I texted her asking where she was and we took a taxi back to my place. On the way she told me that she was on her period and we were not gonna have sex tonight. (Seems to be a classic around women)

Back at my place we started to dry hump, make out, she gave me a short blowjob and after about a hour she was picked up by a friend, because she is living a bit out of town. When leaving she said, I hope you´ll be just as horny tomorrow.

We met up at a bar the next day, I was a little hungover and didn´t get much sleep, we had 2 drinks at 2 different bars and walked back to my place.

I put on a movie, I told her "no pants in my bed", she undressed, we made out.

In retrospective there was way too less communication, because I felt too ashamed of my virginity, felt pressure to perform and had heard that she was slutty. (Which I did not bother me, because I wanted to lose my v-card and not LTR her, but I thought of all the previous experiences I would be compared to)

I had not told her I was a virgin. I kind of fingered her, but didn´t really know what to do down there with my fingers. I know that girls don´t feel anything, if you simply stick your fingers in, so I tried to stimulate the clit, but didn´t exactly know where and how to. I decided to go down on her, and for the first time I saw a girls pussy up close(ticked of my bucket list), my next thought though was "damn did I leave a opened tuna can under my bed?" That smell turned me off, I heard about it, but didn´t expect it too be that fishy. Is this normal or should I be worried? Could this be related to her being on her period or just bad hygiene?

Her blowjobs were short lived and kind of teethy and her hand jobs didn´t really give me pleasure either. I´m uncircumcised and I´m still a little oversensitive at my glans, so it didn´t feel pleasurable, when she licked it, also the way she pulled my foreskin back and forth was not very enjoyable.

I decided to put my dick in and went for a condom, my hands were too moist so I had some troubles ripping it open. My dick is quite girthy and I grabbed king sized ones, but they were not as wide as another brand I have, so I was not really able to pull it over my dick.

Consequently I went for another condom, by then the sexual tension was floating right out of the window. And I soon lost my erection and felt like a failure.

After that we finished watching the movie, made out a bit, while she "moisturized" my leg with her wet pussy.

To sum it up, my first sexual encounter was not very enjoyable and I still have yet to experience my dick in a pussy.

Takeaways:

  • I gotta focus on my pleasure and be more mindful about the whole experience

  • Need to start meditating regularly, and no more porn.

  • More communication in bed

  • Sex really isn´t what it is made out to be (unless you have good chemistry?)

Questions:

  • I haven´t been horny the last two days and didn´t have boners during the day, which was more common before the encounter, I´m afraid that it damaged me psychologically and I´m now in the mindset of thinking that I can't satisfy a woman.

  • How should I continue? Should I try fucking her again? I was acting confident and alpha up to the point of sex, so I felt like I totally lost my frame and part of my manliness there.

  • I´m currently almost feeling like I don´t ever want to have sex again. But on the other hand I want to "practice" so I´m set, when I find a girl I like a lot on a personal level.