Hi ladies! After leaving my 5 year relationship where I was a forever live-in girlfriend, I've been working on internalizing and implementing FDS into my dating life to avoid my past mistakes. I've been seeing a guy for about 5 months now and for the first time ever I feel like I get what it feels like to be treated like a HVW by a HVM. Of course I'm still vet vet vetting and being careful not to get swept up in the newness of being treated well, but here are some wins from this relationship:

I noticed early on that when I communicated that my feelings were hurt over something he did, he would apologize for the behavior, acknowledge how it made me feel, explain how he'd change his behavior in the future, and thank me for telling him. His behavior would change after the first conversation, and if he slipped up, he'd apologize before I had to say anything about it, identifying that we talked about it and that he'll be more watchful of it. It's genuine rather than just trying to placate me, he cares deeply about how I feel and wants to make me as comfortable as I possibly can be in our relationship. This is baseline, I know, but rare in my experience.

When we first started seeing each other, he didn't know how to cook and ate a fairly unhealthy diet. He's very athletic, but just didn't have the nutrition part down. I have been teaching him to shop for healthy foods, how to cook, and how to meal prep to help set him up for success, as health and wellness is one of my strengths and it gives us something fun and productive to spend time together doing, and he's been a great student in that, asking questions helping me choose recipes for the week, and watching and helping with the cooking part to learn. I've been having a very stressful time at work recently and I've been working long hours. Yesterday, he asked me to let him know when I was on my way home because he said he was going to be at my apartment when I got there. I walked in to this man cooking a full blown meal which was ready within 5 minutes of me getting home and he did a great job with it. He cleaned my kitchen afterward, and he had brought my favorite flowers for my table. I usually buy myself flowers because they make my house feel so much more like home, but it had been a while and he saw me eyeing the nicer arrangements at the store the other day and bought me one of those. I was absolutely aghast, no one has ever done something like this for me, especially when this is a new skill he's working on.

Because I've been having a hard time relaxing and my schedule is about to get crazier this coming week, I told him that I would be taking the weekend for self-care. I went to get my nails done this morning and he asked me which nail salon I go to. I thought it was casual conversation. After telling him, he brought me my favorite (very complicated) coffee order, which he remembered after me telling him only once several weeks ago while we were drinking. He brought it to the pedicure station I was at, gave me a kiss, said to have a nice self-care day, and promptly headed out. Again, I'm floored at the thoughtfulness of these gestures.

A few other things, we've been playing a card game that asks each other deep questions to get to know one another. Once during the game, I asked him if he saw a future with me, as we'd never talked seriously about our intentions. His answer without hesitation was, "I see every future with you." One of the questions was "what do you think my perfect date night looks like," and he to a tee described my perfect date night, including that he planned it in his description. He knows what I expect and like in dates and has been great with planning those things for us.

He's asked me to come meet his extended family out of town next weekend and he is covering all of my travel and activities while there.

This isn't a deal breaker for me, but he also happens to be 6x6x6. 😘

Again, of course I'm still vetting and this isn't an all-encompassing description of our relationship, but I can't believe I ever accepted and even pined for lesser treatment than this. I felt like I've been such a giver in relationships and never had that matched in return, and I've found someone who recognizes and appreciates that enough to do everything in his power to make me feel appreciated and valued. Just wanted to share some wins. 💕