[TW: physical, emotional, sexual abuse + r*pe; self-harm; suicide; gender dysphoria] I [MtFt?] am questioning my transition and if it's actually trauma all along. Looking for some advice and perspectives.

_-_010_-_ · 2021-08-03T01:48:51+00:00

I can relate, but don't feel comfortable directly giving advice, and don't know how to share my perspective as I don't know what my perspective is.

But I think it's important to stress that your gender dysphoria being caused by trauma wouldn't invalidate it. You could decide it's trauma and still continue transitioning. The question is which way do you feel better living.

Either way you can and should try to heal from your trauma. I wish you the best of luck

reverbiscrap · 2021-08-02T20:42:43+00:00

Thank you for opening up to us.

Peepo_sativum · 2021-08-03T08:52:51+00:00

I definitely don't have answer the question Is your gender dysphoria caused by trauma or Is your gender dysphoria trauma-related, but I shall say, as another user has, even if you identify it as being trauma-caused, trauma-related, or something else which makes you think you were not always transgender in some way but we're made transgender by forces to which you were exposed, I don't think that it has to necessarily invalidate your identity as a possible transgender person; rather, I would say, as someone else already has in the comments, it seems, that you must decide as what and as whom you're comfortable living, so you can then pursue that, regardless of who or what that is.

It simply doesn't matter what causes these feelings, really; what matters is your present happiness and the extending and longevity of it as much as possible.

I suggest you get a bit more philosophical and think about your existence and what you want from it and the person you want to me, no matter who that is, whether you want to be him, her, them, or someone or something else today, tomorrow, never, or whatever.

Being transgender, like being cisgender, is very much an existential thing, in my estimation, which is why it is absolutely so critical for you to determine what you want for your life and how you wish to live your life.

You might never figure out whether you're transgender, cisgender, or whatever else you may or may not feel yourself to personally be, but as long as you're happy doing what you're doing, no matter what that may be now or in the future, this ought to be your main objective and priority, not necessarily figuring out who you are internally, but how you want to live.

Imaginary-Sense3733 · 2021-08-02T20:43:14+00:00

Sorry, I don't know enough about trans experiences or trauma to give any authoritative advice, but I'm hoping someone else here might.

Pedroo214 · 2021-08-04T13:53:54+00:00

All I'm gonna say is yes, trauma may cause gender dysphoria. There is some evidence for that, but not many studies about it.

That said, you got to figure it out by yourself or to seek a specialist.

Good luck on your jorney

Peepo_sativum · 2021-08-10T01:44:59+00:00

I know this post is over a week old, but TL;DR, here's some canned advice from someone who's seen your type many times already:

No one can tell you whether you're actually trans or cis, a man or a woman, or anything else. No one can read your mind like that. There's no machine or blood test that can determine it for you either. The best anyone can do is observe their own situation as it unfolds and guess at the most accurate way to describe it.
I guarantee you that every second you spend worrying about whether you're trans or cis is a second wasted. Who cares? No, seriously, why do you care? Why do you feel like you need an answer? What do you feel like you'll have or be denied permission to do if you get one answer or another? Think about that, but first, I've got some great news. You don't need permission. You aren't waiting in a metaphysical queue waiting to have your magical validity card stamped before being allowed to do whatever the fuck you want. You might be stuck in some actual waiting lists and need some actual bureaucratic paperwork signed, but just bullshit through that or don't as you please, the options and consequences are yours to judge.
Have you considered whether you might be nonbinary? Have you really though, what do you think "nonbinary" means? There's a world of possibilities out there, you don't have to limit yourself to whatever you think a certain label entails. Just pick and choose what you like, and worry about describing yourself afterwards.
Are you aware that trans men exist? I know, it might seem like a stupid question. But sometimes learning and reflecting on something that you didn't even realize was quite so unfamiliar to you can give you a fresh perspective.
Whatever trans people, porn actors, or anime characters you may or may not be currently idolizing, um, can you stop? That's kind of weird. They aren't you. You might appreciate some things they said or something they represent, but please reign in the parasocial projection. Even if you aren't outwardly clingy at all, it's actually more for your benefit that I'm warning you about this kind of bad habit. Consider that you may be misinterpreting what they were trying to express as a means of avoiding direct acknowledgement of your own feelings.

Comments