"Why today's young men are terrified of sex". Thoughts on this article?

2020-03-13T00:24:37+00:00

Read the article, found some parts pretty disturbing, some men were describing their sexual assaults by the hands of some women, then unable to make up their minds about if they should call it rape.

Maybe they were fearful, thinking that calling their experiences rape would diminish the impact of the word. Wouldn't blame them.

When I was younger I was disgusted with the act of sex, it seemed unnatural to me at the time, then puberty kicked in and all of that changed.

But the men in the article are not pre-adolescent boys, so to me it shows that there is a severe power imbalance in the hookup scene, in which some men are unable to refuse sexual advances.

Strikester101 · 2020-03-12T21:04:06+00:00

So, someone told me this COULD BE the article where they found that the men not only aren't obsessed with sex, but some of their experiences could be described as rape.

The author then concludes that they could have raped someone without knowing it.

bkrugby78 · 2020-03-13T01:15:41+00:00

Ah yeah, I read this back in January when it was first published.

I'm working through "The Diversity Delusion" by Heather MacDonald at the moment. She hits at this, from the perspective more of women who have sex with guys because it's expected, and/or because they don't want to explain why they don't want to have sex. This ties into accusations of rape, because, the girl has sex with the guy, enjoys it. Then a few weeks later feels angry because it didn't develop into a relationship, so the girl claims it is rape in order to get the guy kicked out of college.

The article hits at this, but from the male angle. What happened to the guy who was fucked while he was drunk was definitely rape. That's no question, reverse the genders, it's a clear cut rape from the staunchest MRA to the most rabid GC feminist. But men aren't likely to report it because of a stigma that "guys should always want sex" as well as "who is going to believe that a man was raped anyways?" (ie the college).

It's an interesting read, the book, and I recommend people check it out. MacDonald is more of a conservative writer so she leans more on the side that men and women in college should engage in more personal responsibility when it comes to possible sexual situations.

cromulent_weasel · 2020-03-13T02:45:11+00:00

It's a review of Peggy Oreinstein's book, which places the fault FIRMLY at the feet of toxic masculinity as being the first, second and third things to blame.

_EddieBear · 2020-03-13T13:32:52+00:00

Interesting. For me personally, I'm just grateful I'm not single and exclusively into women. It seems so much more complicated nowadays than back when I was dating.

Like obviously there have been some changes which are awesome (more talk of consent and hey catcalling is bad) but it also is a mine-field right now. Like... what are we supposed to do if we think a girl's cute? I feel like everything is considered bad or toxic now, not just the "duh" bad stuff.

With other men, it's infinitely simpler, to me anyway.

You guys who are still navigating the dating-girls-scene with the best of intentions, you have my respect. That does not look easy.

NjalBorgeirsson · 2020-03-13T16:40:03+00:00

I don't think the problem is a lack of sex drive. I think the reason 28% of men are abstinent is the act with someone new is no longer safe. Whether its expectations that all of the performance and judgement is on the man or a risk of accusations if she later decides she wasn't all that into it, it can be more anxiety provoking than pleasurable.

Personally, I have to find someone I trust to hook up with--in the past I'd sleep with anyone I found attractive. Now, I need to genuinely trust them.

AskingToFeminists · 2020-03-13T03:50:39+00:00

A good amount of men can't even get sex.

Title	"Why today's young men are terrified of sex". Thoughts on this article?
Author	Strikester101
Upvotes	9
Comments	9
Date	March 12, 2020 8:42 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/fhn7sz/why_todays_young_men_are_terrified_of_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/why-todays-young-men-are-terrified-of-sex-thoughts.1063850 https://theredarchive.com/post/1063850

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