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Double sexual standards

Blauwpetje

January 11, 2020
28 upvotes
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates

An old gem, but new for me.

https://egalitarianjackalope.wordpress.com/2015/05/25/things-that-are-not-empowering-part-two-on-sexuality/

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Post Information
Title Double sexual standards
Author

Blauwpetje

Upvotes 28
Comments 15
Date January 11, 2020 3:17 PM UTC
(6 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/en8lh9/double_sexual_standards/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/double-sexual-standards.1064183
https://theredarchive.com/post/1064183
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Comments

[–]joeclark5 15 points16 points17 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

There's a big and unfair double standard about preferences too. A woman can reject a man for the most trivial reason, like being short, which can't be changed, and it's considered fine. If a man has any preferences at all, he's considered worse than Hitler. I've been downvoted for saying that I like women who are curvy, not obese. If you say you don't like women with tattoos, white knights will downvote you and say "her body her choice." I never said they shouldn't be allowed to have tattoos, I just personally don't like them.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Absolutely, having preferences is okay as long as it's expressed in a humane way and not to gratuitously shit on people who don't attain your colossally high standards.

For instance, some women on dating apps are extremely conceited about height. Some of them will even say something like ">6' only, NO DWARVES ALLOWED lol!!!111" At least they reveal their mental capacity and social intelligence when they do that.

[–]TC1827 7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Know this first hand. I have been heavily criticized for wanting a woman who is at least about as successful as myself and who shares my moral values. I want a fair deal. But at the same time, I am told that I just need to accept rejection from women, even if it is for something as offensive as them wanting a guy from the same ethnicity as them

[–]Aaod 6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

But at the same time, I am told that I just need to accept rejection from women, even if it is for something as offensive as them wanting a guy from the same ethnicity as them

Personally I don't mind people having preferences, but I find a lot of double standards especially in regards to race guys who are not interested in dating African American women are immediately labeled racist, but women who are not into Asian men? Nobody gives it a second thought.

[–]TC1827 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Preferences I am okay with if it something like "I am just not attracted to brown girls". (though it may be worth questioning the subconscious reasons why). But I have issue with people who only date those from their own ethnicity.

And yes, I have issue with the double standard as well

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, it's like... if I mentally review the list of women I've felt physical attraction for, then there's a conspicuous lack of indigenous Australian women (but then again, they're not a demographic I have been exposed to a lot). But it feels weird to say "I'm not attracted to X" or even "I wouldn't date X" just because I happen to not been madly infatuated with one yet.

There are definitely physical characteristics that make it more unlikely for someone to be found attractive (often those that indicate very poor hygiene and health) but ethnicity seems like a weird characteristic to consciously judge someone on.

Of course attraction is often a very subconscious thing that also depends on what kind of people you've been exposed to, which in turn determines that certain unfamiliar characteristics can be perceived as either "ugly/weird" or "exotic". But it seems hard to fix those unconscious factors by loudly telling yourself "don't be such a racist" etc.

[–]Aaod 18 points19 points20 points 6 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

This is easily understood once you realize rules 1 and 2.

Be attractive.

don't be unattractive.

They want to show off and get sexual interest, but only from guys/the guy they are interested in. If you are not in that category? The exact same behavior will be considered gross, creepy, etc.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points17 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I'd say there are behaviors that are so gross that even attractive men won't get away with it, but in many cases the threshold is definitely higher than for "ugly" dudes.

I'd also say that not all women reason like that (one of them being a good friend of mine) - but perhaps enough of them do that it becomes a real problem.

Personally I think this is a dumb double standard. Not long ago I was approached at a party by a middle-aged woman with a sunken face who I later discovered was a drug addict with four children. She bumped and grinded into my shoulder while giggling like a schoolgirl at every mundane answer I gave to her questions.

Did I feel uncomfortable? Yes, because I wasn't into her, and now I had to figure out how to let her down gently. Did I feel like she did something immoral or terrible? No, she has as much of a right to shoot her shot as anyone else. The rule I use is - how would I feel about it if an attractive woman my age did this?

The same goes for gay or bi men btw - go right ahead and hit on me. As long as you don't do anything too crass and over-the-top, like talking about anal sex while intently licking your lips and staring me down, I'll probably take it as a compliment.

[–]Aaod 10 points11 points12 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

The same goes for gay men btw - go right ahead and hit on me. As long as you don't do anything too crass, like talking about anal sex while intently licking your lips and staring me down, I'll probably take it as a compliment.

Strangely all the gay men who have hit on me have been perfect gentlemen and were a whole lot more polite and cool about it than the women I have dealt with. It makes me wonder what the causes are for that is it because their is less pressure or what is going on?

[–]C0dey 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Probably less pressure. Men initiate, gay men included. They are used to rejection. Women? Not so much.

Wonder how Lesbians do it.

[–]Iaboveall 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

As an ugly man, I can confirm.

[–]Aaod 6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I personally figured that one out when I talked to my women friends enough to get insights into how they were thinking based off their interactions with men they thought were hot and men who were not/post interactions asking them about it.

[–]Iaboveall 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I appreciate their honesty.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Fantastic article.

[–]CapeshitterCOPE 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I love how the bitch in that video is racist. Irony

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