I F(20) am extreamly insecure about my looks and it is holding me back in every aspect of life.

Sea_Soil · 2020-12-02T16:51:15+00:00

I have body dysmorphia and have struggled with eating disorders so I understand how hard it can be. It's truly a process and a long journey. It's difficult because every aspect of society is telling us that we MUST be beautiful and that we are NOT beautiful simultaneously. It's a mindfuck.

Have you found a good therapist who specializes in these issues? Books can be of great help too, and just sitting down to read is quite soothing. The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf and The Gift of Imperfection by Brene Brown have been recommended to me. I haven't read them yet but I want to. Maybe check them out!

forevergirlfriend6 · 2020-12-03T12:35:49+00:00

Fake it till you make it.

It's not only a catchy sentence, it's really helpful in situations like this one. For two reasons:

People are really bad in their judgements on who's pretty and who's not. When we see someone acting like their awesome and pretty, we'll be very much inclined to believe they're awesome and pretty. So, acting confident will have others believing you're beautiful.
When you behave like you're confident and you believe in yourself, it will send signals to your brain that will actually make you confident. This will make you more comfortable around others and even happier.

Try to behave like you see pretty people do. Keep your chin up, shoulders down, and look people in the eyes. A trick I used to have, was to practice on strangers. Try to talk to them and keep a conversation. I know this is very scary, but it will help you so much.

Body dismorphia is a bitch, and there is not one easy solution, but you can do it ❤ I wish you all the best, good luck on your journey.

daisyinflux · 2020-12-04T05:14:01+00:00

Have you dived into the experiences from your much younger childhood that taught you to reject yourself? Go deeper. Somethings happened that you interpreted as abuse/neglect/abandonment/rejection when young, and you built behaviors to manage it such as rejecting yourself and identifying yourself as ugly (you could very well have learned to identify as smart, ambitious, talented, loving, kind, or whatnot, but you learned to identify as ugly - why?). Also, the “trauma” can be real or not, big or small, once or many. Even “great childhoods” are filled with perceived rejection.

That’s work you need to do. Put aside dating and use this time to meet yourself for the first time. Peel back all the layers and cry your heart out for the ways you’ve learned to hate yourself. You’re so young. You can prevent yourself from years and decades and a lifetime of pain and struggle if you choose to work on this now.

Or don’t. I’m 37 and I only just started loving myself in the last year. I could have done this a long fucking time ago, but instead of arguing with myself about deserving my love, I argued with a slew of men (abusive, toxic, low effort, low value) about their right to my love. I’m so grateful to redirect my energy and positive influence and ambition toward MYSELF.

pancakeCEO · 2020-12-02T20:17:35+00:00

Hey. I also used to have body dysmorphia. I'm not exactly sure how I snapped out of it but it started by not wearing makeup. I realized that all the HVW around me would wear little to no makeup, especially at school and still had plenty of gorgeous, smart, thoughtful men interested in them. I'm not saying it's all about male attention but this really showed me that grown adults dgaf as long you are healthy from the inside out and confident.

Title	I F(20) am extreamly insecure about my looks and it is holding me back in every aspect of life.
Author	Acbc0077
Upvotes	38
Comments	10
Date	December 2, 2020 3:15 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askFDS
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/k5b1fm/i_f20_am_extreamly_insecure_about_my_looks_and_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/i-f20-am-extreamly-insecure-about-my-looks-and-it.1067851 https://theredarchive.com/post/1067851

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