Hey all!

I have a best friend who I love dearly. To no fault of her own, much like me we both used to be pickme’s that spent most of our time and energy on men.

She recently got a boyfriend that I have some weird feelings about, especially after browsing FDS for some time now. Firstly they jumped into boyfriend/girlfriend within a week of meeting, and the “I love you’s” and “I want to marry you” came shortly after. At first I thought this was HV behaviour but it almost seems like love bombing now.

He never takes her out on fancy thought out dates, usually just casual dinners. He’s bought her one gift in the whole time they’ve been dating and is constantly messaging her though out the day. When we hang out she spends a lot of the time taking to him on multiple platforms, or checking to see if he has responded when he hasn’t for a while. She will leave plans we’ve made early to go to his house.

He looks at other women and then tells her about these other women and how attractive he finds them, and specifically expresses desire for features that she obviously doesn’t have (eg he expressed how hot he thought a girl at work was because she was short and skinny, my friend is very tall). He laughed about a friend he has hypothetically cheating on his girlfriend. I witnessed this and it just made me hurt for her. He also seemed to talk about himself ALOT and then throw a couple of chances for her to speak among that.

At the same time he always picks her up at her request and treats her very well according to her.

she has little knowledge or care for feminism, and she has expressed to me that her main goal in life is marriage and to raise a family before she turns 29. I respect her choices despite the fact that they are opposite to mine but I just don’t want her to get married and have kids because she feels like it’s the right thing to do, or she feels like she has to.

I feel distressed by this because to me it just sounds like she’s setting herself up to settle, but she doesn’t know it. I want her to have every opportunity, to be treated like a queen and to never get stuck with a LVM and a difficult life but I don’t want to come across as jealous or controlling. I know it’s none of my business at the end of the day but I was wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience.