Why we should be emotionally independent to stay elegant

Inside_Ad_7292 · 2021-10-10T16:24:31+00:00

This is not "just a guy" thing. And I don't think that this is an example of emotional dependence. It's you getting annoyed that he doesn't think you need time off because you're on your period. I don't think the answer to this is saying "Well, I don't need him to emotionally fulfill me," because that's a one way ticket to being distant, which he will pick up on and question it. I think seeing things from another perspective and respecting that perspective is probably a good way of dealing with this type of situation. Because I can definitely see this from both your and his point of view. I also have some nasty period symptoms; there was even a time in which I was bleeding for a year straight (worst year of my life, I swear)... It's not fun, and it can be downright painful sometimes. But stuff still has to get done. Women can absolutely work when they don't feel well, just as much as men can. My husband has worked through intense physical discomfort and pain. I've been working through a very difficult pregnancy for the past few months, and while my husband has sympathy, he doesn't make excuses for me. And I don't expect him to. Women are different than men, but we are not fragile little children who need to take a nap when they feel kinda bloated and hot. We are grown women with adult responsibilities, even if we're a SAHM or SAHW. We're expected to do what we need to do, barring serious illness.

Ruffleafewfeathers · 2021-10-10T15:51:26+00:00

I would say the best course of action is to ask to talk with him and be vulnerable. You might say something along the lines of “hey honey, may I talk to you for a minute about how I’m feeling?” (Assuming he says yes) “I love how much you value hard work, it makes you an excellent provider and protector and it’s one of the things that made me fall in love with you. I just wanted to talk a little bit about how I feel hurt sometimes when I am sick due to (insert issue) and I can’t complete the tasks I normally would, and it feels like I’m disappointing you. I wanted to see if we could come up with some solutions for that time of the month so that we can be our usual loving selves?”

Ruffleafewfeathers · 2021-10-10T16:08:12+00:00

As for your assertion that the lesson to take from this is that we need to depend on ourselves for emotional satisfaction—I think that is the unhealthy lesson to take from this. Think of this as a golden opportunity to practice communicating with your Captain your needs. Walling yourself up and depending less will just create more space for resentment. Your Captain is not a mind reader, so communicating respectfully how you feel when he expects more from you than you can give gives you the amazing opportunity to deepen your connection. And while it’s true, codependency isn’t a healthy trait, that doesn’t really seem like what’s going on here. It seems more like you’re hurt and frustrated, so you’re trying to assert you have control over your emotions. I wish you the best of luck, you’ve got this!

JadedByEntropy · 2021-10-10T22:07:28+00:00

You said you were better. Thats an all clear. Try "not great"

Title	Why we should be emotionally independent to stay elegant
Author	secret_4ever13
Upvotes	15
Comments	8
Date	October 10, 2021 3:16 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/q59ypa/why_we_should_be_emotionally_independent_to_stay/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/why-we-should-be-emotionally-independent-to-stay.1076441 https://theredarchive.com/post/1076441

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