As a woman that is very big on self-improvement, I feel that no matter how hard I try to improve it won't be enough.

As a lot of people have been asking, I'd like to add this in: I'm 19 year old Asian American, 5'3", around 112lbs and 20% body fat.

I am aware that I am a woman posting on a male-dominated forum, but I'm not here to have a debate regarding gender/sex. I simply want to know the thoughts and opinions of like-minded individuals in this matter, and although I don't agree with everything that everyone posts, there are many precious resources I've found on this forum and I do place the opinion of the people in this forum in high regard. So on we go...

As is everyone else here on TheRedPill, I'm very big on self-improvement. I want to constantly better myself, whether that's intellectually, physically, emotionally, with social interactions, skills-wise, etc. I have a list of skills that I feel I need to learn in life, and these skills range from BLS (and basic first responder care) to learning more languages, to basic survival techniques/knowledge. It's a constantly expanding list, and I make it a goal to cross two to four things off that list every year.

The most important things that I've learned to take care of are obviously myself, in terms of appearance, personality, school, etc. I constantly keep good hygiene, have a skin care regime, take care of my body by eating healthy and through lifting and other stimulating physical activities. I have a good personality, a vast network of acquaintances, a large circle of friends, and several tight-knit groups of close friends that I do activities with (there are several since I moved around a lot). I make polite small-talk and try to engage with every person I meet - which usually ends with positive results, and I try to consistently stimulate myself intellectually by reading at least a book a week, and make informed and proper opinions based on the research I do on many topics ranging from politics, religion, to less controversial things like technology and anime.

However, no matter how much I try to improve myself I can't get past the barrier of genetics. I feel that men have a lot easier of a time building an attractive persona, not because it's any easier for one gender than it is another, but because if you work hard, it pays off. When it comes to building an attractive body, for example, it's true that shoulder-length and height are genetic, but a guy that works out and gains muscle definition through hard work and effort still becomes attractive. For women, I feel like we have a lot harder of a time since what is popularly found to be attractive in women (boobs, small waist, large hips, small shoulders) are mainly genetic, and not something that can be attained through "hard work". Also, when women look for a potential mate, physical attractiveness is not as big a factor as it is for when men look for a potential mate in women. Men that have a good stable career, know what to do with their lives, and have a good personality, can all get the girl if they work for it. I wish the same applied to women, but genuinely feel that it doesn't.

Personally, I would want my significant other to be someone that constantly tries to improve themselves. However at the same time, I am objectively not a very attractive person. I've been called cute once or twice, but I feel it is mainly out of obligation because I'm with a really pretty friend than anything else. I look at myself, my body proportions, my facial features, and everything else. And with a very cold, third-person perspective I can honestly say that I am a solid 3/10, and on a good day, maybe a 4. But never any higher than that. I feel like someone that wants self-improvement, works really hard, and finally manages to attain it would never want to settle for a 3. I'm especially aware that a lot of my guy friends (who are also SI junkies) enjoy having a woman as a form of eye candy hanging from their arms. An attractive woman helps them validate the fact that they're great guys, and the fact that I would never be able to provide that kind of satisfaction to my significant other is upsetting and painful.

As men that fall into this spectrum, how do you guys see it? My interests lie with both men and women, so to the women that are also reading this, what do you think?

Edit: On a quick note I would like to clarify that this is by no means a complaint of how hard it is to be a woman, etc. I'm aware that there are distinct pros and cons to both genders. I just want to know, is a woman that isn't very attractive worth it?

Edit 2: Added in age, height, etc. at the top