Morning ladies, happy weekend! As the winter days in the western hemisphere get darker, I expect many of us will be spending more time on our devices instead of outdoors, out and about. Many men use social media to roster date / evaluate women, and so I wanted to provide some social media themes I noticed for LVM / NVM. I encourage women to check out a man's social media before going on a date, so you know what you're getting into.

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  • Are there any incompatible red flags on his Instagram / Facebook / etc.? For example, I do not do drugs and am generally anti-drug. I was chatting with one dude, looked up his Instagram and saw he makes bongs as a hobby. No need to meet this guy, I knew it wouldn't be worth my time.
  • Does he follow pornstars / OF workers? It is a huge red flag if he is following women he does not know just for sex appeal. Bonus, if he follows OF workers / sex workers it's likely he's giving them money or subscribes to their content. Do you want to date a man who spends his money that way?
  • Does he keep up photos of his exes? How old are these photos? In my experience, if he keeps up 1:1 photos of his exes whether tagged or on his profile, no matter how old these photos are, he is not over them. Be cautious.
  • Does he refuse to answer questions about certain photos on his profile, after you've been getting to know each other? Red flag.
  • Is he into drinking / partying? Does he look content with his bachelor lifestyle?
  • Does he have separate profiles for separate friend groups? This is an insane one. Some men will have one social media account for their friends from one group (maybe high school / college friends), and another one for their friends from another group (maybe professional friends). I encountered this in the workplace, where one coworker of mine had one social media profile that was his first and middle name, and another which was his first and last name. He said one was for his "professional friends" (AKA posts where you couldn't see him getting wasted). If he is content to live double lives on social media, who knows what else he is content with.
  • If you follow him / add him on social media, does he add you back? Does he interact with you on the platform, send you funny posts, tag you in comments? Once you're dating, who takes on the role of posting photos together? Do you appear in his story as a main part, or are you part of the background?
  • Is social media his priority? He can't text you back but he can post pictures of him at a cool new bar? He can't text you back but he can add 5 new followers daily? He can't text you back but he can watch your posts like a hawk? Run girl.
  • Can you tell he's in a relationship based on his social media? Or does he hide it? If he hides his relationships, it may indicate he lacks confidence. You should be with someone who's proud to be with you.
  • Does he randomly go private? If so, he may be avoiding being seen by someone he's pissed off. Red flag.
  • Does he block you / restrict access (maybe putting you on certain visibility lists) when you notice stuff on his profile that makes him uncomfortable? If yes, RUN.

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A man who is into you will make it known on his social media, no matter how. One of my girlfriends was dating a HVM, and they posted photos together in her tiny apartment's shared bathroom to make it "social media official". They both dressed in formal clothes to take couple photos in....their bathroom. Was it perfect? Probably not. Was it perfectly adorable? Yes. If he wanted to, he would.