Girlfriend sometimes plays "hard to get" with sex. Strategy -> press or back off completely?

[deleted] · 2016-07-27T23:50:21+00:00

Both of those options are good.

She can deny sex whenever she wants just like you. Now if she denies you over 50% (Hell even 25%) of the time then I would be annoyed.

If she's the submissive type then being a bit forceful will probably work, but other than that just ignore it and do something else. It's important to act like it's not a big deal and this is when she starts hamstering and wants it.

Sex incompatibility is a real thing.

rptha · 2016-07-28T04:13:03+00:00

I've known some chicks in my time that play the coy game because they like to be taken. Some are really weird and only get turned on if you overpower them. Then they get hot and wild, but that's too much damn work. Plus at any moment they can frame that shit as rape.

Chicks like that fucking annoy me. What are you like some sort of teenager? Grow the fuck up.

Any kind of head game played with sex is a red flag.

Ditch the oneitis and tell the girl the sex should be the easiest part of this relationship. If it's not then we got a problem. Tell her your expectations calmly but directly and with conviction. You are not asking - you are issuing a directive. If she continues to play the stupid games, then nope out and find a girl that is more eager to fuck you.

Usually, if it's not a weird fetish she has - it's just a means for her to try to gain control of the relationship. She's shit testing you to see if she can hurt your feelings and lead you around by the nose. I'm sure the first time you display an authentic outward sign of yeah fuck this shit disgust and signal to her that you're rapidly losing interest, she'll be sucking the dick in minutes. If you sulk in self pity like a bitch, she'll laugh cruelly and derive satisfaction from her ability to control your emotions.

My advice... Probably best if you downgrade to plate status. Girls like this have an evil streak in them. Not worth any real investment in time and resources. Head games are for high schoolers.

arpex · 2016-07-28T01:46:40+00:00

Jerk off on her and see how she reacts.

flat6turbo · 2016-07-28T01:40:53+00:00

if she says no, just get up and leave.

if she does this more than a handful of times, dump her.

simple problem, simple solution. it only gets complicated if you can't get pussy anywhere else.

SexySmexxy · 2016-07-28T10:02:47+00:00

She does it because she can I guess and your dread game is poor.

If you really want sex and she's not giving it, I'd suggest just going out of the house.

The thought in her mind that you're out getting it somewhere else will fix her behaviour.

In my opinion, getting denied sex and then going to sit at a desk and pretending to work hard is a bitch move.

[deleted] · 2016-07-28T01:06:52+00:00

No means no. Too much can go wrong from being overly assertive and unless you knew for a fact she specifically has a fetish that involves rough sex where she's resisting you- hey, some people are into that, I don't judge- if she doesn't want it, she doesn't want it. Sex tends to be shit when one party isn't terribly interested- incidentally, this cuts both ways. If you don't want it but go through the motions she's sure as shit noticing it- in it.

Do what you want, just don't be butt bothered that you're toying around with what looks like a land mine and asking us what we think about it.

DarkisKnight · 2016-07-28T23:19:15+00:00

Is this a recent development? It sounds like you've let your SMV drop and she's not feeling it as much anymore.

Withdraw affection and work on yourself. Read up on Dread game from the sidebar.

ecosci · 2016-07-29T00:45:46+00:00

She does this because you dont have options women will always play sex games with men who put up with it jusk ask most married men who some dont have a choice right now but understand the picture.

EightyTimes · 2016-07-28T03:19:37+00:00

Don't be more aggressive. Just the words "Not yet" tell me sososo much.

That phrasing tells me she's hamstering herself into thinking that she will 'be ready' at some point. Unfortunately, you already know she won't be and the night ends with disappointment.

She thinks she has the luxury of being able to pick and choose when "yet" is because you're willing to wait around all day.

When she says "not yet" just shrug and move on without looking butthurt. Make sure you have your other thing mentally ready and plausible before you bolt.

verily_rp · 2016-07-27T23:56:27+00:00

Both options sound good. If you want to go a little more crazy (better results, but also more risky) you can apply dread to her as well. That'll get them to stop playing games real quick.

[deleted] · 2016-07-28T03:53:32+00:00

step 1. when she shows any resistance take sex completely off the table that night, she needs to know what consequences are.

step 2. flirt with other women, show her that you wouldn't have any issues getting laid with other women who WOULDN'T show resistance

show her that you're only around when she's behaving well, and leave when she tries to play any games.

deci-mator · 2016-07-29T04:00:16+00:00

First you could ask her "is something wrong with your pussy" just to make sure that everything is ok down their. Or you could do something like. Wake up one morning and tell her "get dressed, we are going to the gynaecologist" just to see how she will react. If she shows you that nothing is wrong but she is till resisting sex, yet she used to give it to you alot. Then know that before she was using it to qualify herself to you . Now she's using it to reward you. By only giving it to you on her terms. Because she is getting too comfortable and no longer has that competition anxiety she used to have. This is when you should think about spinning plates, just to give you that natural abundance mentality and increasing your smv by hitting the gym. And reciprocating ,not initiating, when other women try to game you.

mbillion · 2016-07-28T02:16:33+00:00

Neither, dump her,

7hours13days · 2016-07-28T03:26:54+00:00

Jesus, these replies suck.

Just talk to her. Ask why she does this. My girl likes to play hard to get. The game is a turn on for her. Maybe she can explain what she's doing and you guys can have fun. If not, then yeah. Next!

anotherswingingdick · 2016-07-28T03:41:43+00:00

show her that your commitment is also "hard to get".

if she denies you - call another girl IN FRONT OF HER.

bowie747 · 2016-07-28T01:53:49+00:00

If she's saying "not yet" it probably means she's not physically ready for you yet. It may also mean she's not emotionally ready for you yet. Sometimes women can take longer to become aroused than men. If you've been together for a while, and she's willing to have sex even when she may not genuinely desire it, she may take a little while longer to warm up.

Of course, due to all the other BS games that women play it is hard to tell if she's teasing or not.

Title	Girlfriend sometimes plays "hard to get" with sex. Strategy -> press or back off completely?
Author	avthorin
Upvotes	7
Comments	20
Date	July 27, 2016 11:42 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4uxpqt/girlfriend_sometimes_plays_hard_to_get_with_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/girlfriend-sometimes-plays-hard-to-get-with-sex.108968 https://theredarchive.com/post/108968

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