I was watching a Shallon Lester video the other day, and she brought up an incredible point regarding women and men. Disclaimer, this is not word for word and mixed with my own perspective.

(Note: I am unapologetically a fan of Shallon, even though I do not agree with her on every stance. I disagree with her stance on sex work, etc. But, she consistently advocates for a man "coming correct" and has great tips for confidence/avoiding passive reciprocation from a man.)

The point Shallon made was how males in the animal kingdom spend so much energy trying to impress the female animals. Think about it: male animals compete for a female animal's attention. In essence, the male animals are advertising themselves as strong providers with good genetic material.

I posted earlier about high testosterone in men associated with positive traits like protectiveness of his own. I like masculine men, strong inside and out, and refuse to settle for anything less.

Enter the current issue in humans. Example A: a man disclosing their "mental health" issues on date one, acting as a damsel in distress, wanting to be courted/chased, passive-aggression, wanting to be mothered while resenting it, childish, isn't into you (but won't dump you and doesnt want you to dump him), you chase and he responds, clingy, etc. There is room for variation in these examples.

With so many men acting like Example A, how in the world are women supposed to be attracted to men who do not have a strong grip on their own lives? Competence, as discussed in the podcast, is very attractive!

This part was not in Shallon's video, but thinking about the post-high speed internet p()rnified culture and the man0sphere = no wonder this "modern day and age" has many effeminate men with so much violence and misogyny.

The subtypes of men who masquerade as strong, high-T men? Fboys and other types of men conflating narcissistic behavior with being confident and strong. Some examples below from stories/experience:

Example B: The man who pretends to want a relationship but ghost or slow fade as soon as they are bored/get what they want. This could just mean emotional labor or attention, but certainly some want sex or a girlfriend for a few months. Maybe he doesn't defend you when his friends or family make little jabs at you. All the talks about his values and times he acted in a "strong" way/protected someone weaker, meant nothing, because with you his actions ultimately did not meet his words. He is also weak inside, because he is not chasing after a woman he wants for the right reasons. He is more than happy to waste your time, energy, effort, and tears. He texts "sensitive" (selfish!) messages after you set the boundaries of no contact to him (hence why we say always to block and delete). He might not want you after you break up, but he doesn't want anyone else to have you. This type may neg in the beginning or the end.

Example C: The thoroughly r€dpill kind of type. Might be aggressive. Pretends to be "strong" because he works out, but will not embrace the protective, nurturing side of the masculine coin. Negs, maybe pretends to be sensitive, but the sensitivity is very self-absorbed. He may be an "egalitarian" and split the date cost 50-50 because he "stands up" to "gold diggers." Or it is a "grand gesture" if he buys you a 2£ ale. If you tell him about a past trauma happening to you at the hands of another man, he shrugs and tells you to get over it or it wasn't that bad. This man definitely does not verbally defend you or make you feel safe. Despite his "toughness" you know deep down you will be "on your own" if you were ever mugged. Because "equality" amirite?

To wrap up, ladies, never settle. If you see any hint of callousness, self-absorption, fishing for compliments, early sad stories to garner sympathy, RED FLAG. A real HVM wants to protect and provide, not act like a baby or "punch down."