Can't stop seeing hypergamy.

Inareskai · 2022-03-14T22:20:54+00:00

When my husband and I met and started dating (and for the first 3-4 years together):

He was a virgin, I was not.
I was earning and he was unemployed (after we graduated)
I was studying for a post-grad, he was not.
I was (and still am) an extrovert with a wide social circle, he was (and still is) an introvert with a small circle of close friends most of whom are online friends he has never met in person and some of whom are mutual friends not ones he knew before knowing me.
Neither of us to to the gym or anything similar.

What he was, and still is, is someone who respects me and my opinions, is my intellectual equal (even if I have more official degrees, we interact and interpret media and other things to a similar level), he's kind, funny (in my opinion, at the very least), caring, and we have similar life goals and ethical/political leanings.

If hypergamy was 'female nature' or in some way inherent to women, it should not be possible for relationships like mine to exist. And yet, here I am.

honey-bundy-88 · 2022-03-14T22:51:28+00:00

What makes these narratives so dangerous is that they usually contain an element of truth to them. Historically it was imperative for a woman’s survival to be married off to a man of means. As things progressed, they were barred from positions that would place them on equal footing with men. These ideas didn’t just disappear in the 70s with the Women’s Lib movement. Many women today value their autonomy while also retaining some aspects of traditionalism.

Where RP makes a mistake is by framing these gender roles as being inherent to female biology. Women do not have a genetic predisposition for Chads. Most women I know would prefer a partner on an equal or greater level than them. Why greater than lesser?—because we want to be saved the extra work. When broken people view their problems as being outside of their control, they often seek “perfect” partners to make up for all their flaws. It’s a fantasy that even you seem to share. Your preoccupation with finding a girlfriend to “get through problems together” is a cop out for actually working on your insecurities by yourself. Would you date a girl with crippling insecurities who refused to seek help, forced you to take responsibility for her mental health, and constantly accused you of comparing her to other women? Probably not because it’s not your job to “fix” her problems. It’s nice to imagine that all our problems would disappear if we found this one magic person but it’s not reality.

Your_Nipples · 2022-03-14T23:20:36+00:00

I wouldn't want to date anyone to share my misery with.

Would you date any of these people because they are in the same predicament as you?

If your answer is yes then that's your issue right here: desperation.

You don't actually care about them, they are just people with their own agency, not objects made to fulfill your sexual needs.

If one thing the RP has shown me is that:

Given the choice, most women would date a tiny fraction of the male population, not because of hypergamy but because most men aren't likeable (and they don't truly like women either, they care for them as much as their care about a socket).

You'll have sex one day, you'll enjoy it, and that will be enough for you to forget about these two. What will this mean? You never cared about them and you know I'm right.

Just to add something, deep down, you too want to find someone to fix your "problem" (virginity).

And that's why the RP is just cope for unsuccessful men. They are hypocrites.

Title	Can't stop seeing hypergamy.
Author	fats05
Upvotes	2
Comments	7
Date	March 14, 2022 9:58 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/te8wul/cant_stop_seeing_hypergamy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/cant-stop-seeing-hypergamy.1106256 https://theredarchive.com/post/1106256

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