I feel like in this community and the whole focus on being submissive to the husband etc, there's definitely a bit chance for us to be taken advantage of by certain men who don't actually deserve submission and lean more towards being toxic or controlling in their dominant ways than the ideal of just being a responsible and caring leader. I know I've read posts by women here describing their relationships and felt a bit sick about what they're actually putting up with when they're clearly not with someone who values them or is treating them well. Now, obviously at the end of the day it's our responsibility to vet properly and some of it is just going to depend on personal needs/preferences etc, but just wondering if you guys had any input on certain red flags or grey areas for guys who probably shouldn't be trusted?

(Full disclosure, reason I'm asking is because I'm getting serious with a guy who has said some things and established some rules which have given me pause about how he might be in the future, but I'm simply inexperienced with relationships and can't exactly go to mainstream advice, so just hoping to learn more here:))